Divorce is one of the toughest challenges any relationship—and any family—can face. More than a breakup, the finality that comes with a divorce is deeply painful for everyone involved Often the circumstances surrounding or leading to the divorce make healing feel impossible.

Maybe it’s your divorce, and you don’t know who to turn to without your wife or husband in your corner. Maybe your parents’ divorce is happening suddenly after years of marriage, and you feel like nothing makes sense. At TheHopeLine, we’ve helped many people heal after divorce. We can offer guidance, prayer, and support no matter how divorce has impacted you and your family.

Physical And Emotional Safety After Divorce

If your marriage is ending in divorce, you likely feel exposed or vulnerable. This is especially true if:

  • Your divorce is happening because of cheating or infidelity.
  • Physical, mental, or emotional abuse preceded your divorce.
  • Substance abuse and addiction have made you unable to stay with your spouse.
  • You spent almost all your time with your spouse before being separated.
  • The divorce was shocking or unexpected to you.

It’s very important in the aftermath of a painful divorce to protect your heart and emotions. Avoid all but the most necessary contact with your ex-wife or husband. If they have been abusive toward you, make sure you are never alone with them when dropping off or picking up belongings. Respect all court rulings, and ask your attorney (rather than your ex-wife or husband) any questions you have along the way about the terms of the divorce.

Even if you feel physically safe with them, the emotional shock of a divorce can take its toll. What can you do to ground yourself after a divorce?

  • Focus on caring for your physical, spiritual, and emotional needs. Don’t overcommit to activities or overextend yourself emotionally.
  • Ask for help and support when you need it.
  • Reach out to people who are qualified to talk you through your feelings— a mentor, a therapist, or a pastor, for example— rather than bottling things up and isolating yourself.
  • Spend time with people (and in places) you find calming and soothing.

Dealing With Divorce: Guilt Versus Responsibility

Guilt and shame are two of the most dominant feelings that surface when dealing with divorce. We’ve talked with young adults who feel they’re to blame for their parents’ divorce, and spouses who have spent week after week wondering what else they could have done to keep their marriage together. These feelings are normal, but it’s important to remember the truth of the matter:

  • You are not responsible for any of your parents’ choices, and especially not for their divorce. Their divorce is not your fault, and neither were any problems in their marriage leading up to it.
  • If your spouse is divorcing you, it is not “all your fault”. There may be things about your life together that you wish you would have done differently, but that does not mean you should bear the entire burden of guilt.

In either case, it’s healthy to take responsibility for your own growth, learning during a life-changing event in our family. But it’s also important to make sure you don’t allow fights, negative emotions, or hurtful comments that happen when going through divorce to damage your self-worth.

You Can Feel Whole Again After Divorce

The journey to wholeness after a divorce is long and hard, but it can happen. You can face painful emotions and circumstances while still leading a full life. Because you don’t have to go it alone.

Help after divorce is available anytime through TheHopeLine. You can live chat or email one of our mentors, request prayer for yourself and your family, or find encouragement from our resource library. However you choose to reach out, we will be there for you.

Search our library for resources (blogs, ebooks, podcasts and more) to help you cope during divorce. Find answers to questions like:

  • Why Can’t Some Couples Stay Together?
  • Is There a Way to Heal My Marriage After Cheating?
  • Why Do I Feel Angry About My Parents’ Divorce?

Most Recent Blogs on Divorce

Dealing with Divorce, 4 Tips for Healthy Healing

dawson-blog-featured-image

Are You Dealing With Divorce Right Now? If you are dealing with divorce, whether it is your parents’ divorce, or your own divorce, it is one of the most tragic events you can experience. Unfortunately, it’s become such a common occurrence, it’s easy to think you’re supposed to act like..Read more

35 Emotions You Might Feel After Your Parents Divorce

dawson-blog-featured-image

Are You Feeling Overwhelmed? It’s so hard to be honest with ourselves and others about the effects we feel when our parents break-up. That is because our parents’ divorce is devastating. We naturally put up walls of denial and silence and keep a certain distance between us and others. Yet,..Read more

How to Find a Meaningful Relationship

dawson-blog-featured-image

We all want it. A deep meaningful relationship. The problem is the prized treasure of a meaningful relationship is something that takes a lot of time and hard work on the part of both people in the relationship. And in our society of instant gratification, working patiently for something isn’t..Read more

Surviving the Holidays with Separated Parents

dawson-blog-featured-image

Holidays can be the best of times or the worst of times. And holidays with separated parents can be especially difficult. Tyler said, The most difficult part of any holiday for me is being rushed between my parents’ houses. I feel bad about leaving one parent for the other. How..Read more

View More >

Podcasts about Divorce :

eBooks on Divorce :

Stories on Divorce :

Abuse: Red Flags, but Married Him Anyway

dawson-blog-featured-image

I Made a Bad Choice to Cover My Pain Before I married my husband, I lost someone who was my everything. He passed away, and I never coped with his loss.  I just wanted someone to love me and fill that spot in my heart. And that’s where my husband..Read more

Dealing with Depression: TheHopeLine Saved My Life

dawson-blog-featured-image

My Life Was Hard Dealing with Depression I have been dealing with depression for eleven years. My sister passed away and my life changed completely. Then my Aunt passed away from suicide. Then on my Aunt’s birthday, my grandmother died, of old age. I was abused by my father. My..Read more

What People Are Saying About Dawson McAllister & TheHopeLine®

dawson-blog-featured-image

What is TheHopeLine? Who is Dawson McAllister?  We are best defined by the people who we have helped.  Here are their stories..with their heartbreak, and their victories expressed. These are some of the amazing thank you’s we’ve received from people who have come to us in their time of need.  We are..Read more

Jasman’s Story: Self-Harm

dawson-blog-featured-image

Jasman’s Story: When I was about 7 years old my parents got divorced, but as far back as I can remember they were always fighting and arguing. I started to self-harm when I was 12.  I thought that there was no one out there who cared, knew what I was going..Read more

View More >

Resources for Divorce :

Spiritual Perspective :

Verses of Hope

Free eBooks

ebook-resources

Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

A guide to understanding the basics of Christianity and a meaningful relationship with God.  Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come […]

View More >

Additional Resources

View More >