Tips For Feeling Lonely & Calming a Lonely Heart

Loneliness is one of the most common human emotions, but that doesn’t make it easier to explain or understand. You can feel alone even if you’re in a crowded room. You can be a very social person, surrounded by loving relationships, and still feel lonely at the end of the day.

Whatever your reasons for feeling lonely, you’re not alone in those feelings. And you can find ways to better understand, manage, and heal from the pain of loneliness.

What Loneliness Feels Like

People who’ve reached out to me at TheHopeLine are often afraid to talk about their loneliness. Maybe it’s difficult to talk about the past trauma that’s led to their loneliness (like abandonment, fighting, or being in a toxic relationship). Sometimes they feel ashamed to admit that they’re lonely. Sometimes they are in denial about how lonely they are. Sometimes they feel trapped in their loneliness. Other emotions and physical sensations that accompany loneliness include:

  • Sadness/Depression: “I feel sad, depressed, or disappointed by how alone I feel.”
  • Tension in the body, a feeling of being closed in
  • Isolation: “It feels like no one understands how lonely I feel, and that no one has ever been this lonely.”
  • Feeling a pit in your stomach
  • Frustration: “I’m angry because it seems like I can’t click with others, no matter what I do.”

The Purpose of Loneliness

People feel lonely at different times and for different reasons. In general, they have one thing in common: they don’t have to be alone to feel alone. Clinician Dr. Karyn Hall puts it this way:

“Feeling lonely has little to do with how many friends you have. It’s the way you feel inside. . . In general, those who feel lonely actually spend no more time alone than those who feel more connected. Loneliness is a different experience than solitude. Solitude is being alone by choice and wanting that aloneness or being comfortable with it. Loneliness means there is a discomfort – you want to be more connected to others.”

Loneliness is difficult to feel, but it’s not completely negative. It has an important purpose. Loneliness is your brain’s way of signaling (through your emotions) that you may benefit from reaching out for help, conversation, friendship, or companionship.

Calming a Lonely Heart

Help is within your grasp when it comes to understanding why you’re lonely and doing something to calm those feelings. You can talk to our mentors about how you’re feeling, and get answers to your questions about the source of your loneliness. You can request prayers whenever you’re feeling lonely. Making connections like these can be a great start on the path toward greater calm and less intense feelings of loneliness.

It’s important to remember that, no matter how lonely you feel, happiness, contentment, and a feeling of safety is still possible.

There are people who care about you and want to help you do the necessary work to have a meaningful connection with them. If you need to start small, that’s okay. Making a phone call, sending a text, or dropping a line via email — all of these are important steps that you can take right now to break the cycle of loneliness. You can do this – and we’re here to help whenever you need it.

Learn more about how to deal with loneliness from our blogs, podcasts, and more. Get answers to questions like:

  • Why Do I Feel Lonely or Sad When Nothing Seems to Be Wrong?
  • How Can I Open Myself Up to Another Relationship?
  • I Feel Like God Isn’t With Me. What Do I Do?

FAQ on Loneliness:

How Do You Spend Christmas Alone?

Here are some ideas for having a meaningful time with loved ones if you have to separate for the holidays due to COVID-19: - Have a Video Chat on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day To Sing Carols, Open Gifts, or Share Special Messages - Send Personalized or Homemade Cards or Gifts in Time for Christmas - Make Family Recipes for Yourself and Your Housemates - Schedule Safe Drop-Offs and Socially-Distanced “Drive-By” Greetings

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Most Recent Blogs on Loneliness

How to Handle Loneliness at Christmas When Isolating Due to COVID

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Staying Connected During Christmas Christmas is around the corner. It can be difficult,  in normal circumstances, to cope with the complex emotions that the holidays bring up. This year, we are facing a more isolated holiday due to Coronavirus (COVID-19). That greater sense of isolation is going to make any loneliness..Read more

4 Ways to Feel Less Lonely When You’re Sick

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Fighting Loneliness When You're Sick Being sick often means you have to isolate yourself. Of course, that’s necessary to keep your illness from spreading and to keep others safe. But it can lead to a troubling, persistent feeling of loneliness. If you’re feeling lonely during an illness, I know that’s tough. But..Read more

How Can I Make Loneliness Go Away?

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As we adjust to the protective measures put in place as a result of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, “sheltering in place” may bring some people a sense of relief, since doing so lowers our risk of getting sick. But I know for many of us, loneliness and isolation feel stronger now..Read more

10 Tips To End Loneliness

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  Loneliness is On the Rise If you are feeling lonely, you are not alone. Kind of ironic, but true. The world is full of lonely people. In fact, loneliness is on the rise. Research shows that the rate of loneliness in the U.S. has doubled over the past thirty years. Today..Read more

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Podcasts about Loneliness :

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eBooks on Loneliness :

Stories on Loneliness :

Death by Loneliness

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The Loneliness Was Too Much Everybody get’s lonely from time to time…it’s human nature. I was kicked out of my old high school for bad attendance. I felt like a failure when I was forced into an alternative school. (Which surprisingly turned out to be a better school then my old..Read more

Depressed: I Have No Meaning in My Life

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Depressed at a Young Age I have felt depressed most of my life, since a very young age. I grew up in an incomplete family. I don’t remember my parents ever having a good relationship. I feel they did not do a good job as parents. My whole family consists..Read more

Eating Disorder: I Stopped Eating to Become “Good Enough”

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I had to think long and hard about if I should share my story. Then I came to the conclusion that it would be worth it if it lets someone else know they aren’t alone, and it could be therapeutic for me. So here is my story and what led..Read more

Don’t Lose Hope In Tough Times. There Is More.

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When you're losing hope, it's not always helpful to have someone tell you what to do or explain where you went wrong. You need someone to listen, to be there for you, and to remind you that you were created for a purpose. I rediscovered my sense of hope in..Read more

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Resources for Loneliness :

Spiritual Perspective :

Verses of Hope

Free eBooks

ebook-resources

Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come through a relationship with Jesus. And this […]

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Additional Resources

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