Tips For Feeling Lonely & Calming a Lonely Heart

Loneliness is one of the most common human emotions, but that doesn’t make it easier to explain or understand. You can feel alone even if you’re in a crowded room. You can be a very social person, surrounded by loving relationships, and still feel lonely at the end of the day.

Whatever your reasons for feeling lonely, you’re not alone in those feelings. And you can find ways to better understand, manage, and heal from the pain of loneliness.

What Loneliness Feels Like

People who’ve reached out to me at TheHopeLine are often afraid to talk about their loneliness. Maybe it’s difficult to talk about the past trauma that’s led to their loneliness (like abandonment, fighting, or being in a toxic relationship). Sometimes they feel ashamed to admit that they’re lonely. Sometimes they are in denial about how lonely they are. Sometimes they feel trapped in their loneliness. Other emotions and physical sensations that accompany loneliness include:

  • Sadness/Depression: “I feel sad, depressed, or disappointed by how alone I feel.”
  • Tension in the body, a feeling of being closed in
  • Isolation: “It feels like no one understands how lonely I feel, and that no one has ever been this lonely.”
  • Feeling a pit in your stomach
  • Frustration: “I’m angry because it seems like I can’t click with others, no matter what I do.”

The Purpose of Loneliness

People feel lonely at different times and for different reasons. In general, they have one thing in common: they don’t have to be alone to feel alone. Clinician Dr. Karyn Hall puts it this way:

“Feeling lonely has little to do with how many friends you have. It’s the way you feel inside. . . In general, those who feel lonely actually spend no more time alone than those who feel more connected. Loneliness is a different experience than solitude. Solitude is being alone by choice and wanting that aloneness or being comfortable with it. Loneliness means there is a discomfort – you want to be more connected to others.”

Loneliness is difficult to feel, but it’s not completely negative. It has an important purpose. Loneliness is your brain’s way of signaling (through your emotions) that you may benefit from reaching out for help, conversation, friendship, or companionship.

Calming a Lonely Heart

Help is within your grasp when it comes to understanding why you’re lonely and doing something to calm those feelings. You can talk to our mentors about how you’re feeling, and get answers to your questions about the source of your loneliness. You can request prayers whenever you’re feeling lonely. Making connections like these can be a great start on the path toward greater calm and less intense feelings of loneliness.

It’s important to remember that, no matter how lonely you feel, happiness, contentment, and a feeling of safety is still possible.

There are people who care about you and want to help you do the necessary work to have a meaningful connection with them. If you need to start small, that’s okay. Making a phone call, sending a text, or dropping a line via email — all of these are important steps that you can take right now to break the cycle of loneliness. You can do this – and we’re here to help whenever you need it.

Learn more about how to deal with loneliness from our blogs, podcasts, and more. Get answers to questions like:

  • Why Do I Feel Lonely or Sad When Nothing Seems to Be Wrong?
  • How Can I Open Myself Up to Another Relationship?
  • I Feel Like God Isn’t With Me. What Do I Do?

Most Recent Blogs on Loneliness

10 Tips To End Loneliness


  Loneliness is On the Rise If you are feeling lonely, you are not alone. Kind of ironic, but true. The world is full of lonely people. In fact, loneliness is on the rise. Research shows that the rate of loneliness in the U.S. has doubled over the past thirty..Read more

Mental Illness Doesn’t Care There’s a Pandemic


Mental illness doesn’t care that there’s a viral pandemic. During these weeks, it seems that there is almost a competition for who is struggling the most. It is difficult to determine what area of the world, what age group, or what occupation we should be giving the most sympathy to..Read more

Hope Will Not Be Cancelled – Coronavirus


Life was hard enough one month ago and one week ago. For so many, the last few days have been too much. I don’t know about you but I haven’t been here before. This moment feels like a movie and yet somehow it’s real. And how long will things be..Read more

Faith When Life Is Hard: God Understands Your Pain


It’s hard to have faith when life is hard, but something I’ve been comforted by over the years is the realization that God understands my pain. Whether my pain is from the consequences of my own actions or something completely beyond my control, God loves me and will not abandon..Read more

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Podcasts about Loneliness :

Videos on Loneliness:

eBooks on Loneliness :

Stories on Loneliness :

She Cheated and I Thought My World Ended


Crazy in Love I met this girl. She had a smile that made me melt inside. I began talking to her every day and quickly fell in love. We’d been talking about getting married and it felt so certain. It was all I wanted. No. She was all I wanted...Read more

What People Are Saying About Dawson McAllister & TheHopeLine®


What is TheHopeLine? Who is Dawson McAllister?  We are best defined by the people who we have helped.  Here are their stories..with their heartbreak, and their victories expressed. These are some of the amazing thank you’s we’ve received from people who have come to us in their time of need.  We are..Read more



Leigh Had Been Living In Isolation For Years Leigh describes her experience of isolation and how she found hope at TheHopeLine®….. When my father became ill, there wasn’t much time for me….at all. I couldn’t have a conversation with anyone. I was ignored and no one even attempted to hide..Read more

Death by Loneliness


The Loneliness Was Too Much Everybody get’s lonely from time to time…it’s human nature. I was kicked out of my old high school for bad attendance. I felt like a failure when I was forced into an alternative school. (Which surprisingly turned out to be a better school then my old..Read more

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Resources for Loneliness :

Spiritual Perspective :

Verses of Hope

Free eBooks


Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

A guide to understanding the basics of Christianity and a meaningful relationship with God.  Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come […]

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Additional Resources

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