Tips For Feeling Lonely & Calming a Lonely Heart

Loneliness is one of the most common human emotions, but that doesn’t make it easier to explain or understand. You can feel alone even if you’re in a crowded room. You can be a very social person, surrounded by loving relationships, and still feel lonely at the end of the day.

Whatever your reasons for feeling lonely, you’re not alone in those feelings. And you can find ways to better understand, manage, and heal from the pain of loneliness.

What Loneliness Feels Like

People who’ve reached out to me at TheHopeLine are often afraid to talk about their loneliness. Maybe it’s difficult to talk about the past trauma that’s led to their loneliness (like abandonment, fighting, or being in a toxic relationship). Sometimes they feel ashamed to admit that they’re lonely. Sometimes they are in denial about how lonely they are. Sometimes they feel trapped in their loneliness. Other emotions and physical sensations that accompany loneliness include:

  • Sadness/Depression: “I feel sad, depressed, or disappointed by how alone I feel.”
  • Tension in the body, a feeling of being closed in
  • Isolation: “It feels like no one understands how lonely I feel, and that no one has ever been this lonely.”
  • Feeling a pit in your stomach
  • Frustration: “I’m angry because it seems like I can’t click with others, no matter what I do.”

The Purpose of Loneliness

People feel lonely at different times and for different reasons. In general, they have one thing in common: they don’t have to be alone to feel alone. Clinician Dr. Karyn Hall puts it this way:

“Feeling lonely has little to do with how many friends you have. It’s the way you feel inside. . . In general, those who feel lonely actually spend no more time alone than those who feel more connected. Loneliness is a different experience than solitude. Solitude is being alone by choice and wanting that aloneness or being comfortable with it. Loneliness means there is a discomfort – you want to be more connected to others.”

Loneliness is difficult to feel, but it’s not completely negative. It has an important purpose. Loneliness is your brain’s way of signaling (through your emotions) that you may benefit from reaching out for help, conversation, friendship, or companionship.

Calming a Lonely Heart

Help is within your grasp when it comes to understanding why you’re lonely and doing something to calm those feelings. You can talk to our mentors about how you’re feeling, and get answers to your questions about the source of your loneliness. You can request prayers whenever you’re feeling lonely. Making connections like these can be a great start on the path toward greater calm and less intense feelings of loneliness.

It’s important to remember that, no matter how lonely you feel, happiness, contentment, and a feeling of safety is still possible.

There are people who care about you and want to help you do the necessary work to have a meaningful connection with them. If you need to start small, that’s okay. Making a phone call, sending a text, or dropping a line via email — all of these are important steps that you can take right now to break the cycle of loneliness. You can do this – and we’re here to help whenever you need it.

Learn more about how to deal with loneliness from our blogs, podcasts, and more. Get answers to questions like:

  • Why Do I Feel Lonely or Sad When Nothing Seems to Be Wrong?
  • How Can I Open Myself Up to Another Relationship?
  • I Feel Like God Isn’t With Me. What Do I Do?

FAQ on Loneliness:

What should I do to overcome the feeling of loneliness?

Overcoming loneliness is a process, not a one-time decision. Each day, it’s important to remind yourself of your worth. You are lovable and worthy of love, and you have people in your life who are ready and willing to affirm that. Reaching out to people for support helps a lot, too. Start with friends and family you trust. Let them know how you’re feeling. If you want to spend time with them, ask. People care and will do what they can to help.

Learn more

See More

Most Recent Blogs on Loneliness

4 Ways to Feel Less Lonely When You’re Sick


Fighting Loneliness When You're Sick Being sick often means you have to isolate yourself. Of course, that’s necessary to keep your illness from spreading and to keep others safe. But it can lead to a troubling, persistent feeling of loneliness. If you’re feeling lonely during an illness, I know that’s tough. But..Read more

How Can I Make Loneliness Go Away?


As we adjust to the protective measures put in place as a result of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, “sheltering in place” may bring some people a sense of relief, since doing so lowers our risk of getting sick. But I know for many of us, loneliness and isolation feel stronger now..Read more

10 Tips To End Loneliness


  Loneliness is On the Rise If you are feeling lonely, you are not alone. Kind of ironic, but true. The world is full of lonely people. In fact, loneliness is on the rise. Research shows that the rate of loneliness in the U.S. has doubled over the past thirty years. Today..Read more

Identifying Early Signs of Physical Abuse


Breaking the Cycle of Abuse Physical abuse is not always apparent, and it can take time to become obvious. But identifying early signs of a physically abusive relationship may be key to breaking the cycle of abuse. It’s important to remember that abuse goes beyond anger, and that arguing and conflict are..Read more

View More >

Podcasts about Loneliness :

Videos on Loneliness:

eBooks on Loneliness :

Stories on Loneliness :

Eating Disorder: I Stopped Eating to Become “Good Enough”


I had to think long and hard about if I should share my story. Then I came to the conclusion that it would be worth it if it lets someone else know they aren’t alone, and it could be therapeutic for me. So here is my story and what led..Read more

Don’t Lose Hope In Tough Times. There Is More.


Chatting with your HopeCoaches seriously brought me through some of the darkest seasons in my life. Don’t lose hope in tough times. I have used TheHopeLine several times. It was a really powerful tool that actually helped me vent out stuff that had piled up for years, and now, I..Read more

She Cheated and I Thought My World Ended


Crazy in Love I met this girl. She had a smile that made me melt inside. I began talking to her every day and quickly fell in love. We’d been talking about getting married and it felt so certain. It was all I wanted. No. She was all I wanted...Read more

What People Are Saying About Dawson McAllister & TheHopeLine®


What is TheHopeLine? Who is Dawson McAllister?  We are best defined by the people who we have helped.  Here are their stories..with their heartbreak, and their victories expressed. These are some of the amazing thank you’s we’ve received from people who have come to us in their time of need.  We are..Read more

View More >

Resources for Loneliness :

Spiritual Perspective :

Verses of Hope

Free eBooks


Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

A guide to understanding the basics of Christianity and a meaningful relationship with God.  Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come […]

View More >

Additional Resources

View More >