Why Wait For Sex Until Marriage? 10 Reasons Why

Waiting to have sex until marriage is not an easy decision to make and it may have caused you to be ridiculed or broken up with. Be encouraged, you are not alone. There are other young adults who are making the decision to wait until marriage to have sex. If this is the choice you are making, here is a little support to stay the course.

Is Your BF Pressuring You to Have Sex? Steps to Take

If you are being pressured to have sex, realize this is a huge red flag. Many who are pressured into having sex give in to it mostly because of the overwhelming fear of losing the person they really care about. Often people who end up having a sexual relationship are simply doing whatever they think needs to be done to hold on to their partner. In the end, some bargain away their bodies in their attempt to keep the relationship going.

Getting Into a Relationship Too Fast – Disadvantages

One of the reasons many people feel the euphoria of being in love is a strong physical attraction. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone, but it’s good to be sure that you are setting clear boundaries that give you time to get to know one another and figure out if a long-term relationship is a good fit. Dating can be complicated.

How To Have Self-Control When Feeling Lust

Q: Why Lust is Destructive

Lust affects us both spiritually and physically. It’s physical, of course, because it involves a strong desire to be with someone sexually, a desire which you feel in your body. But if lust feels like you “need” to be with someone to the point that those desires seem to take over your decisions and your relationships, it may be time to think about what spiritual needs you have that are going unmet.

Q: Love vs. Lust – What’s the Difference Between?

Lustful thoughts are more than attraction. They are based in a strong desire to have sex with someone and they feel more like a craving than a sense of love or admiration. One of the key ways to tell lust from love is that lust is about satisfying your desires. It has little to do with making the other person happy.

It is normal and natural to feel physical attraction for others. If you’re in a dating relationship, you will feel sexual attraction for your girlfriend or boyfriend. But lust, if not properly understood and controlled, can lead to harmful behaviors that can damage self-esteem and ruin romantic relationships.

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What is Lust?

Lust is different from the biological sensations of attraction. Lust is a sense of intense sexual desire that can feel like it is dominating your thinking. The difference between love and lust is not an exact science, but lust feels different from love and expresses itself in different ways.

Lust doesn’t have anything to do with who someone is, or what you love about them as a unique individual. When you love someone, you care about them and want to help meet their needs, whether or not they’re ready for sex. Lust, on the other hand, is focused on wanting to be with someone sexually only because of how that sexual contact can gratify your desires. It is more of a hunger or craving for someone’s body than a deep, unconditional love for who they are.

Lust and Risky Behavior

It may seem like lust is a private feeling, but it can influence how you treat your partner, and it can lead to other risky and harmful behaviors, such as:

Having sex before you or your partner feel ready
Crossing physical boundaries that you don’t want to cross before marriage
Using pornography or masturbation to gratify sexual desire, which can become an addictive behavior
Sexting, which has high risks of exposure or discovery, and could impact you or your partner’s future success.
Pressuring someone else to masturbate, watch you masturbate, or have sex in order to make you feel satisfied, which is sexual assault

How to Face Lust: Self-Control, Not Shame

It can be difficult to know where to turn for help, especially if you grew up in a church or family where lust (and anything related to sexuality or sexual behavior) was either never talked about, or was shamed so much you felt like you could never discuss it again. But sexuality is a normal part of how we’re made, and it’s not a mistake or something to feel ashamed of.

The key is talking about and understanding attraction in a healthy way, learning how to express those feelings in a way that makes you and your partner feel safe, and doesn’t compromise your boundaries or beliefs. You can learn healthy thought patterns and self-care practices that lead to greater self-control, and stop damaging your romantic relationships with risky behavior.

TheHopeLine is a place to get confidential help when you want to regain healthy self-control of your feelings of attraction and break free from lust. Reach out to us via live chat or email a mentor to get help today.

Want more information about how lust affects life and relationships? Search our library of ebooks, blogs, and podcasts for answers to questions like:

How Do I Know It’s Love?
How Do I Recover from Pornography Addiction?
How Do I Talk to My Boyfriend or Girlfriend About Sexual Boundaries?

FAQ on Lust:

What is the root of lust?

People who we’ve helped through feelings of lust talk about how their lust was driven by a strong desire to feel pleasure that was even greater than any warm feelings they had for their partner. Attraction is normal, but if you feel like it is controlling you or pushing you to do things you and your partner aren’t ready for, it may be time to talk to someone about lust.

Learn more

Most Recent Blogs on Lust

3 Checks to Determine If You’re Lusting

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As summer approaches, (if you are a man especially) so do the visual distractions. Bikinis, short shorts, and miniskirts, the list goes on. Consequently, when you have all these things around you begging for your attention, it’s hard not to notice. And when you do (inevitably), the questions start to..Read more

Dating Reality Check: Is it Lust or Love?

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When you feel a strong attraction to someone in a dating relationship, feelings make it difficult to know: is it lust or love? Understanding how each feeling is unique can help you set and maintain healthy boundaries with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Attraction is Natural I talk to a lot of young..Read more

Why Lust is Destructive

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Everyone currently dating needs to ask the question...Am I in love or am I in lust? Whatever you do, don't mess up on this question or you will walk into a world of hurt. Reasons Lust Is Destructive Lust literally means over-desire. It is when you take something that is good, twist..Read more

Love vs. Lust – What’s the Difference Between?

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I find so many people who call my radio show confused between lust and love. Love is the most abused word in the human language often being used instead of what it really is lust. Lust can cause deep confusion and destruction. So often I will hear a caller say, "I am..Read more

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Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

A guide to understanding the basics of Christianity and a meaningful relationship with God. Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come […]