How To Stop Masturbation and Develop Healthier Behaviors

Masturbation is a behavior that some feel deeply ashamed of, while others may not take it seriously. Everyone grapples with feelings and decisions about their sexuality. But it’s important to understand the risks of masturbation, and to do your best to break free from the unhealthy behaviors and mindsets associated with it.

What is Masturbation?

Masturbation happens when you touch yourself sexually to the point of giving yourself an orgasm. Most people masturbate alone, but sometimes your boyfriend or girlfriend may want to masturbate with you so that you’re touching one another sexually to the point of orgasm without having sex. Your partner may also ask to masturbate in front of you as a way of bringing you sexual gratification, or ask you to masturbate in front of them to sexually gratify themselves.

Is Masturbation Wrong?

It’s easy to wonder why masturbation is wrong since you’re not technically having sexual intercourse. But it’s still an act of sexual touching. If you’re waiting until marriage to have sex, self-gratification (or any sexual touching with a partner) should be avoided until you can share a meaningful sexual experience with your spouse.

Stopping masturbation also makes it easier to avoid emotional complications that come with sexual acts and will likely make it easier to find sexual fulfillment when you do share the experience with your spouse.

Masturbation and Harmful Behavior

Masturbation itself complicates relationships, fosters shame, and damages self-worth for many people we talk to at TheHopeLine. It’s also associated with risky and harmful behaviors, including:

  • Pornography: Masturbating while watching pornography compounds shame and increases the hiding of sexual urges and behaviors, rather than acknowledging and discussing them with someone who can help you process your feelings and set boundaries in a healthy way.
  • Sexual Assault: Because masturbation is sometimes done to or in front of people before they consent to it or feel comfortable with it, it is sometimes tied to sexual assault and abuse.
    • Important Note: If you decide you do not want to masturbate or to watch someone else masturbate, let the person you’re with know your decision. If they still pressure you to masturbate, force you to watch them, or touch you sexually in any way without your consent, take steps to report them for sexual assault and get help right away. To reach your local Sexual Assault Hotline, call 800-656-HOPE (4673).
  • Addiction: Because it produces the euphoric feelings of orgasm and sexual climax, masturbation often becomes an addictive behavior. Like other types of addiction, it increases isolation, develops unhealthy emotions, and affects otherwise close relationships.

Choosing Self-Control Over Masturbation

It is possible to stop masturbating and develop greater self-control over your sexual urges and desires.

  • There are people who will listen without shaming you or judging you.
  • You can talk about it with people you trust.
  • Therapists and mentors are trained to talk about topics like sex, masturbation, and pornography. They can help you make a plan for healing and improved self-worth.

Don’t let shame stop you from getting help to break free. TheHopeLine offers live chat and email mentors for confidential advice and support.

Want to learn more? Search our library of podcasts, ebooks, blogs, and more for answers to questions like:

  • I’m Ashamed After Doing Sexual Acts: What Do I Do?
  • How Do I Stop Sexual Addiction?
  • What if My Boyfriend or Girlfriend Uses Pornography?

Most Recent Blogs on Masturbation

3 Ways to Tell If You Are Addicted to Masturbation

dawson-blog-featured-image

Addicted to masturbation??? Is that even possible? Perhaps you’re already picturing me as a hundred-year-old Sunday School teacher or pastor, with corduroy pants so high rise they must be a cover for a long-term fitted chastity belt. Or maybe you’re seeing the Christian protester who has nothing better to do with their precious..Read more

What if Someone I Look Up To Is Looking at Porn?

dawson-blog-featured-image

How to Face the Relationship Challenges Caused by Pornography Use If someone you look up to is looking at pornography, it's natural to be concerned. Pornography can have a damaging impact on friendships, relationships, and our sense of connection with others. You care about this person, and you value their place..Read more

How Do I Help My Friend with Addiction Without Breaking Their Trust?

dawson-blog-featured-image

Supporting Friends Without Enabling Them Having a friend with addiction is tough. Their addictive behaviors cause them additional pain, because addiction does nothing to heal the pain that drives them to drink, use drugs, or harm themselves in other ways. I recently got a message from someone whose friend is addicted,..Read more

Can You Really Be Free From Porn?

dawson-blog-featured-image

Each year for the last 18 years, I find myself reflecting on a question I get asked often as a former sex addict and now sex addiction recovery mentor: “Can you really be free from porn?” It’s a valid question. After all, it seems that there are far more people these days who struggle..Read more

View More >

Podcasts about Masturbation :

Videos on Masturbation:

eBooks on Masturbation :

Ask Dawson:

Stories on Masturbation :

Masturbation

dawson-blog-featured-image

I prayed and fasted on my own several times for several years until the Lord really answered my prayers. Now, I have hope of the future glory of His coming. I really need everyone to pray because there are many people who are struggling like I was." Read more true..Read more

Resources for Masturbation :

Spiritual Perspective :

Verses of Hope

Free eBooks

ebook-resources

Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come through a relationship with Jesus. And this […]

View More >

Additional Resources

View More >