The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
I cant find a job.
even if i apply from different companies I always think that I wont be able to do the task they will give to me.
I'm really stupid i'm not smart at all. I graduated on college because I depend on my classmates.
It's hard to reach out.
I sometime slit my arm so i can distract the feelings I'm having.
cant make my own decisions and everytime i woke up, I feel like sleeping again. It's like i'd rather sleep and sometimes dream of good things I'm not going to have in reality than to wake up every morning feeling low.
slowly succumbing to depression. there's hope i guess but cant stand the feeling of negativity because of other people like me who already died because of this.
Please know that you are valuable and worthy and your life matters. It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. Do not succumb to the depression. There is help and resources for you. Would you be open to chatting online with one of our HopeCoaches at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp? If you are having thoughts of suicide we have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and it seems like every single time I get happy something happens and it gets destroyed. I’m 18 years old and I’m a freshman in college and most nights I fall asleep crying and I’m tired of reliving the memories every single time I close my eyes. I admitted myself to the hospital a couple a months ago and I thought I was getting better but I’m not I just have gotten even worse. I’m still in love with my ex who absolutely shattered my heart and she is always on my mind but she has moved on and i cannot bring my heart to and I just feel so alone and pathetic and I just feel like everyone would be so much happier without me. Most days I feel like if I was with my grandfather who was my best friend and the greatest person I have ever met I wouldn’t feel as alone and I might be happier. He passed away 2 years ago and every single day I want to be with him.
You deserve someone so much better. You are just 18,the golden age of one's life.You can become anything you want.Think about your parents,your loved ones... they love you so much and would never want to loose you.It will be new year within a few hours,think of it as a new start and live your life the way it is meant to be. People are living in so much worse conditions than yours, trust me.You have so many attributes ,that you should be proud of.ALL THE VERY BEST!!
I bet your grandfather would love nothing more for you to make ppl feel the way he made you feel.
Your doing better then you think you are.
I’m almost 40 single and childless. I plan to check out when my parents are gone. That’s the only future I can see for myself. I honestly would’ve done it a long time ago but there has been so much tragedy in our family I just couldn’t do that to my parents. I know they’d blame themselves. It’s not anyone’s problem but my own.
I’m just embarrassed of my existence, i never fit in anywhere or felt like I’ve belonged. My relationships have all been very painful. I guess I can’t relate well to other people and each time I’ve loved any man they throw it back in my face. You can’t tell me that I’m not unlovable when life has shown me time and time again, over and over that I am. I’m so tired. No matter if I’m on meds or not, even if things are going ok
In my life it’s still the only future I see for myself.
Lisa, Please never give up! As long as you're still living please know that there is hope for you. There is a future for you. A future that you may not see now that can be full of happiness. We are praying for you and that you see how valuable your life is. God hears your pain and He knows your struggles. We hope you read this and know that we care. Lisa, are you on Facebook? Dawson McAllister does a live prayer show and a lot of people join that are struggling like you are. It’s a great community that talks to each other and lifts each other up. Here is some more information about Dawson’s Prayer Show. https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/ We have some additional resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this too. We are emailing you a private phone number with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
I feel exactly like you
I always thought people commit suicide for less reason than I have. I have never felt love and I am not lying when I say I come from the worst family imaginable. No abuse or anything, just colder than the north pole. And selfish, words cant describe how selfish they are. I am entirely alone in a world full of people. Nobody visits, nobody calls unless it's something to do with me parting with money. Unlike some other guy on here, I don't have the luxury of wealth, I have just about another's month of money before I am broke. Broken mentally, and broken financially. My only reason to live is my dog, but even that cannot be enough in the end. Everything I do to try and make life just bearable I fail at. I can't work anymore due to depression. I am at the point I just want to make sure my dog is ok before yet another suicide attempt. This one should be successful as nobody is going to call for medical attention, I am alone. No talking or crap like that will change the dreadful existence I get through every rotten day. I am at the point I have no more life lines!
Mark,
Please never give up! You are valuable and worthy. You have so much in your future that will bring you happiness that you will never know about if you give up. This challenging place in your life seems like it has gone on forever, but it is temporary. It will get better. Mark, are you on Facebook? Dawson McAllister does a live prayer show and a lot of people join that are struggling like you are. It's a great community that talks to each other and lifts each other up. Here is some more information about Dawson's Prayer Show. https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/ We have some additional resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this too. We are emailing you a private phone number with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
I hope you’re still here. You have a dog, as do I. My significant other, and our son’s father, completed his suicide in May of this year. We loved him so, but he had no idea. He felt worthless. He was in the construction business, he owned his own company and his work was amazingly beautiful. We still live here and often drive past some of his renovations. My son and I, along with our two dogs,are all we have. Soon after he died, my entire world changed. My family abandoned us. My own childhood was full of turmoil and abuse. You’re not alone. Please stay in touch. You’re more important than you could ever imagine.
I am just tired of living. No pain. No abuse. No nothing. Just a normal guy who does not to live anymore. I am wealthy. Don't have money problems. No health problems, no problems at all. I do not drink and don't to drugs, either. I am alone now as my life partner and me part ways two months ago. It was an 11 years wonderfull relationship. I know this is the reason that is pushing me to suicide. But it is not only that, too. I was happy. Or at least I showed happy to everyone. But I always considered death as an alternative. I am just tired. Don't want to walk the same path again. Don't walk to walk any path at all. I just want to stop living. No more food, no water... lying in the bed... letting me go away forever.
Noone, Thank you for reaching out to talk about how you are feeling. Your heart is broken and we want you to know we care and we are here to listen. Please know you are valuable and worthy and ending your life is not the answer. It sounds like you are struggling with depression after the breakup with your partner. We commend you for not reaching for alcohol or drugs to numb the depression. It is important that you keep talking about how you're feeling and a visit to your doctor to discuss how you're feeling is important. We have a private phone number we can give you to one of our partners to help with these thoughts. We are emailing the number to you, so please check your email for this information. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
Never give up on yourself or life! You are important!