The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.
How to Handle Suicidal Thinking
Talking About Suicide Save Lives
I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:
- pain
- loneliness
- rejection
- abuse
- guilt
- depression
- helplessness
- hopelessness
More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?
Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?
For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.
Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.
Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.
So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.
Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter
It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.
Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.
Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.
Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up
Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.
Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.
Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.
Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.
Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "
Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.
Every day I go to sleep and wake up feeling the same way no matter what I tell myself or how much I motivate others I find I slip away from me even further every day. I don't know who I am I don't know if I ever have i don't know if anyone I love truely understands the deep dark hole I have been stuck in for years. Years of fauls personalities, years of hate, years of just being broken. No matter how much I shake it the only thing I truely know is that I don't want to be hear anymore my journey through life always ends up in the same place. I have always tried to tell those I love exactly how I feel ! Being gay, black and a woman is so hard I've been living a life I know to not be mine for so long. It's not worth trying anymore the only thing that stops me from ending it all are the lives I will affect when I'm gone. But still I find myself living for everyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. I'm suphocating and there's nothing left to keep me afloat. I'm past the point of being scared of it hurting because all I do know, is that it won't hurt anymore.
Chen, When we are in so much pain and we hate ourselves it's hard to understand how valuable and worthy we truly are. You've been living for others who do not accept you for who you are. It's incredibly hard to overcome the need to please others, however, you are going to have to do this to move forward to a place of healing and accepting yourself. This is the first step. Chen, you are beautiful and you may not realize it, but God does love you and He does accept you. He is close to the broken-hearted. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18" He knows your pain, He knows you are hurting and he loves you, just the way you are. Please stay with us, please try to wake up each morning and tell yourself, "I am beautiful, I am loved, I am worthy." You are loved by the Lord and He can break your chains of self-hate and you can be free to love yourself just the way you are. We'd like to share this inspiring song with you. https://youtu.be/6UXn_OuJkvE Chen, how about chatting online with one of our HopeCoaches tonight at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
My fiance got married and I found out at my desk at work. My mother whom I bought a house with see me as nothing, an inconvenience preventing her from earning rent. My father left us when we were kids. I was sexually advised for many years. At work they scheme about me. My boss is trying to get me fired with the assistance of the HRM manager.
I've never been loved. I'm only for pain. I want to die. I think all will be well if I don't exist. I have 3 means planned.
My son will hurt. But God who loves everyone but me will help him be fine.
Dionne, We understand that you feel like the pain will never end. You have gone through much and are still going through it. It's hard to see the end of the pain however, it will get better. Your life matters and you matter. You are enough and you need to stay. Stay for your son. Stay for those that will love you in the future. Those that you do not even know yet. God knows. He knows your pain. He knows the pain and struggles your son will face if you decide to end your life. Do not pass this legacy on to him. Please have the courage and strength to stay. Your life will get better. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
Hello, I am hopeless, empty, and love a life of shame, and defeat. I am constantly rejected and non verbally abuse. I have failed at everything thing I have tried. I know now that God hates me with every breath. I was told that I am clinically depressed. I’ve been fighting this for years. But it has won the battle that it has sucked the life out me and all I enjoyed doing. I have no more happiness and just don’t care anymore. Suicide is my only option left. I was in counseling but it never help. I took meds but the side effects made me worst. I have come to terms that I really don’t have a purpose or reason to continue existing. Thank you for letting me say this.
Eviee, You are worthy and your life matters. Please stay. We understand that the battle with depression is not easy and we don't want to minimize what you are going through. It is hard, however, there is hope and God loves you just the way you are. He loves every breath you take and every choice you make to stay here. When we are in so much pain, hurt and hate ourselves it's hard to understand how much God truly loves us. The truth is that God loves you with all his heart. He understands the pain you are feeling. He is there for you. He'll be your comfort and your strength when you're depressed and feeling bad about yourself. Don't be afraid to trust in Him. Eviee, we think you would benefit from having an email mentor that can help you understand how worthy you are and they will also listen to you and help you through the thoughts you are having. Would you take the next step and sign up for an email mentor? To sign up go to https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/ Please give it a try. Also, if you are on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube, Dawson has a Live Prayer show 4 times a week. How about joining that community of people and let Dawson and them pray for you? Just visit this page for more information: https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/ Lastly, we care and we believe in you.
I think it started with the stress this time. At first I told myself I could handle the pressure, I didn't need anyone or anything. But then I started for fun. Said it's just a little bit to relax. Then it's a little bit to give me a good appetite. Then it's the only way I can stomach more than two bites. After that it's the only way to sleep because the little pills aren't helping the insomnia anymore. Now the only times I'm sober is when I wake up and when I'm with family. It's easier this way, because all the crap that keeps happening actually feels solvable.
I've had a bit of teenage angst. Switched schools a hand full of times. During the high school years I got picked on. Pushed, kicked, shoved, blamed; pick what you will. In the end I was burning cigarettes into my skin because it was the only way I could get their voices out of my head. It never really helped that I was from a rural and religion area considering that I'm a girl and how much I want to be with girls. That secret getting out would destroy my social life as well at put me in counseling to 'fix me'. God, the people's so called savior doesn't bring me relief; I've learned that.
I wasn't ever real smart. Still aren't. But now I've moved from my over barring parents and started college. Things are good. I've started over, I made friends that actually want me. I can tell them the secret that my family isn't as perfect as it seems. They don't care that I was an outcast or that I'm not normal. My friends are amazing, they're my support. They are why I haven't hung myself up yet. I don't want to leave them.
But I've screwed up too much. I have to leave again and start over in a new place. Just to think, a few months ago things were so perfect. The thoughts were still there but I had the control. And it collapsed. I was laid off from my job, got an mip, speeding, smoking pot as much as I can whenever I can. It's the only way I can go back to the start, when things were okay. When I could eat and sleep like a normal person. So I could feel normal. Instead I'm being kicked out of college and my home. I don't have a choice but to start over.
I guess I'm just asking if when I start over this time, do I make a new ending? Can only play the same tune for so long before you want to blow your head off.
I’m having a really hard time thinking that I have any purpose being here. I think about ending my life more than not. I’m 43 and a mother of 5. Been with my husband for 16 years. 4 of my kids are adults and my youngest is 11. I feel alone in a house with so many people in it. I try and explain how I’m feeling all the time but no one seems to care or understand. I have felt this way for a very long time. Every one wants me to be a certain way but don’t care how it effects me. I feel I’m hanging by a thread.
There is no purpose in life. It's all pure randomness and chance. I was poor and abused all my life.
After graduating no company will hire me for a full-time position, all I get is unpaid internships, so I can't even work hard to forget about my troubles and attempt to better my life.
Therefore I am ending my life today on January 11th 2019 at the age of 24 through carbon monoxide poisoning. If my mom reads this message or it is ever relayed to the police, my valuables are in the bedroom closet and I wish them to be distributed to the local Red Cross or soup kitchen.
Finally I get to leave this hellhole. I will not miss a second of it. 99,9% of my life has been misery and torture. Earth is an awful place and humans are horrible, if there truly is someone who designed this planet and this species, which I doubt, I hope they are feeling awful. They should be.
I pray you didn't go through with this. See you are strong, you see what our world is lacking and it's lacking people who care. You care, it affects how you feel over all. You are especially needed because there are many like you but it takes a whole nation and you will be one more missing puzzle. We need you to help make a change.
You do serve a purpose, even if you think you don't you do for people than will never even be able to put it in words. Its usually the ones you never think about that you are helping and leading them to live a better life. You are needed