How to know if your bf/gf is cheating on you

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…obsessing and fretting over your bf/gf’s unfaithfulness will put needless pressure on your relationship.

Tens of thousands of relationships are haunted every day by this question: Is my bf/gf cheating on me? Before giving you ways to answer this question, it is important to know obsessing and fretting over your bf/gf’s unfaithfulness will put needless pressure on your relationship. It will only cause confusion and mistrust, which could easily destroy what you have.

Angela commented about how her fear of her boyfriend cheating on her has led her in all the wrong directions. “I always think in my head that he’s cheating, so I want to cheat. Or if he’s ignoring me, I don’t know what else to do. Every time we fight and he doesn’t show me love, I find it somewhere else. If he ever left me my whole life would fall apart. But I never think about these consequences when I’m doing what I do. It’s like drinking and driving; people know the consequences of drinking and driving but yet do it anyways because it seems okay or it’s tempting.

While obsessing over their faithfulness is not the answer to a healthy relationship, it is still true that if your bf/gf is cheating on you, you need to know as soon as possible. Katrina had her trust shattered when she was engaged. “I caught my fiance cheating on me. We had been together for 5 years and all he would tell me is that he wasn’t happy. I think when he found that other woman, he uncovered feelings that he didn’t feel with me. The worst part is it went on for one month. He always would tell me he would never do something like this to me.”

Here are some signs which individually may not prove your bf/gf is cheating on you. But if you can identify many of these signs in your relationship, the chances are good your bf/gf is cheating on you.

Signs Your Bf/Gf May Be Cheating On You:

  • You begin to notice emotional distance between the two of you. Things just aren’t the way they used to be.
  • Your instinct tells you he/she is being unfaithful. Deep in your heart of hearts you sense something has gone wrong with your relationship.
  • You begin spending less time together. Your bf/gf tells you he/she doesn’t have the time for you like they used to.
  • The one you love so much stops asking you to go out and do special things together. Somehow your untrustworthy bf/gf just doesn’t have the time for you like before.
  • They suddenly start encouraging you to spend time with other people. Their rationalization is If you spend time with other people, then I can too.
  • There’s a distinct change in his/her schedule. There are huge blocks of time your bf/gf cannot account for. They often make excuses for the extended time of running errands.

Many people are caught cheating because of what is on their computers or cell phones.

  • You notice suspicious computer or cell phone activity like secret texts, emails or strange websites. Many people are caught cheating because of what is on their computers or cell phones.
  • He/she doesn’t answer certain phone calls when you’re around. They look especially panicked when the phone rings.
  • He/she doesn’t talk to you about all their love and deepest feelings anymore. They are probably talking to somebody else about their love and deepest feelings.

Cheating drains their emotional and physical energy because of fear they’re going to get caught or from spending a lot of their time trying to cover their tracks.

    • They appear anxious when you’re together and want to leave, maybe they say they’re just “tired.” Cheating drains their emotional and physical energy because of fear they’re going to get caught or from spending a lot of their time trying to cover their tracks.
    • You notice a sudden change in their appearance, or they have an increased concern about how they look. Your bf/gf probably has a new reason to look great, and that person is the most likely the one they’re cheating with.
    • He/she hangs around with a new best friend of the opposite sex a lot, or spends time with his/her ex, but claims nothing is happening.
    • He/she begins to be increasingly critical of you, or blames you for cheating, even when you haven’t. This is a way of putting you on the defensive and making them feel better about what they are doing.

Don’t turn your relationship into a situation where you feel you have to play the detective all the time.

The above indicators are all meant to be warning signs. However, don’t turn your relationship into a situation where you feel you have to play detective. But if you notice multiple changes in behavior, routine or personality of the one you feel you love, and not just isolated incidences, you should confront them about these signs. You should always trust first, but don’t ignore red flags. Still, you can’t always trust your “gut feeling.” Sometimes it’s just jealously and insecurity creeping in. If you can’t trust someone over time, don’t date them. Remember, too much drama in your life is very destructive.

What makes a good relationship is honesty. You cannot lie to the other person or cheat!

Lexie has closing words of advice for us: “I think what makes a good relationship is honesty. You cannot lie to the other person or cheat! That will seriously ruin everything in the relationship and you might not be able to fix it after it’s happened. If anything’s wrong, tell each other and try to work it out.”

Do you have any stories to share with me? I’d love to hear them.

Want to know more about cheating in your relationship or want to talk to someone about it?

Chat with a HopeCoach and check our our free eBook: Understanding Cheating in Relationships.

Free eBook! Relationships and Cheating from TheHopeLine

Check out my other blogs on cheating:

Your BF/GF is Cheating on You…Now What?

Moving on From a Cheating Boyfriend – Six Things Not to Do

 

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
TheHopeLine reads every comment. The purpose of the blogs are to provide help through the content, stories, and struggles of others. If you are looking for immediate help please click on an option above.
  • maria

    When I first meet my bf.everything was fine until we moved in together .He completely changed on me.he wanted to go visit his 9 yr old boy byhimself.he was still going inside his ex house.i could go he said cause he didn’t want her feeling offended.he didn’t like me answering any questions.so one day he took off and spent the night at her place.he sweated to me on the bible he didn’t cheated on me .He continue living with me by until this day I feel betrayed .I’m not happy I feel he still sees her.please help me.im52 and don’t want to marry him if I can’t find the truth…

    • Sara Jenkins

      You should tell him how you feel

    • Anna

      Girl it isn’t worth it I’m the same way I’ve been with my man an for 3 years an his ex wife/baby mamma is still in the picture I used to know where she lived but now that she moved he won’t take me to drop off his kids he doesn’t answer the phone when he’s around her only texts me an when he does answer he yells at me but he’ll answer the phone around me when she calls I’m still with him they take there kids out more then he takes me out I don’t know what to do his one sister tells me he’s cheating on me an other sister an mom tell me he’s not idk but I do know the ex wide has a bf but I don’t know what to think of believe I just wanna leave sometimes to go visit my family but I can’t cuz I don’t trust him

  • Amanda Persaud

    Should i leave him if he treated his ex girlfriends better than me

    • fiona

      yes^

    • asanda,van wyk

      Yes leave him and move on with your life

    • Josh

      My girlfriend goes out for one or two items and doesn’t come back for hours at a time what am I supposed to think? If I say anything about taking too long or what took so long she gets mad there are tail tell signs but she and everyone that has known her forever always say that’s who she is she can’t go to a store without spending at least an hour. But she knows it bothers me and dissent make the slightest attempt to change. What do I do? This is going on 4 years and we have 3 kids together

      • Delphine

        My advice is: Get to know which type of a person she really is. You can’t spend all your energy and happiness trying to act like a detective and mistrusting everything she does. You need to know who you can trust around you, or you might live quite an unhappy life.

      • ratu

        I think u shud do it even double n make sure she notices it bra..thenu will c her cumin bk to u its called taste of own medine.. Cz the ansa u r looking for isn’t there…don’t stress yourself think for the kids…chao

  • John An EvaMarie Hanks

    A man should never change how he is or how he acts towards a woman he claims to love because if you truly love someone you get over the fact that something went down i know that if my wife ever cheated on me i would be angry and upset that it happened but nothing would stop me from trying to fix what ever it was that made it happen. see the easy thing about it is that when you find out someone has cheated on you and you get upset then calm down and let them know you still care and are willing to let it all go they will tell you whats wrong or what caused them to cheat and they will realize that you really do care and they will realize how truly lucky they are to have you and chances are they will never cheat on you again. but if they do cheat on you again you gotta let it go no matter how mad you are because if you truly love that person nothing and i literaly mean nothing will get hard enough to work out.. a good mother never banishes her child from outta her home when they have done wrong no matter how bad she thinks it is and its not a fact of oah she birthed that one tho because that doesnt matter its love even when you dont recieve it back thats true love. i think you should talk to him about it and confront it put it all out in the open and hear what he has to say if you truly care for him and he is cheating on you tell him how much you love him even if you dont get the love back it will show him in time how much you really do care about him and he will eventually follow your moves and do it to. and never take the thought out of your mind that he may think your cheating on him because he could think it out wrong and do something stupid because he thinks you just dont care or that your just cheating on him anyways so whay should he care. dont leave him talk to him and live your lives telling eachother everyday how much you care with your words and your actions and never stop.

    • Leticia

      If he cheats on you twice it seems wrong if you stay. Why should you? Why can’t you cheat on him like he cheated in you? What is the point if you cannot trust him?

  • bharath

    Im in a relation from about 4 yrs i heard she proposed other person a year before she didn’t approve it nor disapprove it
    What to do to know if she is cheating
    She said she no more has feelings for me

  • Trinity

    My boyfriend had sex with me and left me and the baby when she was born

  • Trinity

    What should I do

  • Trinity

    That’s true

  • yanna _100

    should I leave him if he got to many girls in his phone or if he’s txting to many girls

  • Jason

    My gf asks me for money all the time and she doesn’t like holding hands and she calls her cousin babe and he calls her the same thing. She doesn’t like me kissing her when his around because she doesn’t want him to know. And we have been getting appart from each other more with the things she says, like always being tired. This whole thing is beginning to hurt me so much, and I love her and I don’t know what to do. And to make it worst she’s been the first person I’ve been with for a year. I’m one of does guys that helps a lot, but I just think she’s using me to benefit her life and her cousins. Any help? Should I talk to someone at my doctors?

  • mother hurting bad

    My boyfriend and father of two of my kids been togather for 7 years, about 4 years ago he tryed to have sex with my roomate but blew up in his face she told me what he hadtryed. My trust went down hill if he was trying to do that how much lower could he have going. I love him he is all i have other than my kids. I forgave him after a couple months. I belive he started cheating on me again, i am very jealous with him after the roommate thing. Everyday I have ask him if he is but he says things like he wouldn’t do it again becuase he saw how bad he hurt me or he would rather leave me before liveing another nightmare, or im crazy, or he will do a lie detector test. I started to belive I was crazy also and told him I should see a doctor but he said no I should talk to him. He even came to me and said he was so sorry for things that made me like this that he looks at me like him I ask him what things he was sorry for but he got a little mad. Even days when I didnt talk to him he would look me in the eye and say u really think im a cheater but really I am not and he looks so sincere. He also has said if he did cheat he would tell me. And sometimes he says im lucky he has not done that. Or I care to much or I am to sensitive. Also he gets so mad at times and says why are woman so stupid to want that so badly and that if that is what I really want he will start to be that way. And than he says I really dont know what man I have and when I do it will be to late. Help me I dont want to ruin the relationship if je is turely not.

  • mother hurting bad

    Also he says he was not always a good boyfriend but he has not done any cheating that he loves me and doesn’t see him self with any other woman. That he has lied to me in the past but not cheating just not where he was suppose to be.. geezzz im hurting so bad I had all the signs that he was cheating but no proof and no confuses. He says he thinks it is just better to leave me for my insincerity and he will be tired to keep telling me no all the time that I think to much…. I really dont know what to do I even went as far as to tell him I found a condom wraper but he said that was definitely not his but than ask me what kind of wraper it was and why I didnt come to ask him about it when I found it.. I feel like he is hideing something. I just dont no.

  • indhu

    he only praposed me so i was accept after two months he is saying he dont love me and he dont like me also.but i didt do any mistake i dont know what happen to him.i asked him he didt responds its very pain full please dont believe any guys.this is cheating are not??? but i love him a lot

  • Isiakakha mundustrong

    I have been in a relationship for 1 year now and all has been well until recently when i started noticing strange behavior with my girlfriend.
    1: she doesn’t want me to pick her up from work in the evening and she would always suggest that we meet at home. Main reason is she is working late or running errands.
    2: She has made new friends at her work who she has never wanted me to know.
    3: A couple of days ago she came home passed midnight while drunk
    4: The next day she never showed up and never picked my calls

    My question to you is could these be signs that she is cheating on me?
    How do i go about this situation?

    • raven

      do all the things she is doing make her jealous

  • joe

    my gf has been actin really weard lately not calling me to see if im ok or having sex anymore maybe once every two to three weeks and then shes always accusing me of cheating making hateful faces at me and then I found not once but twice her ex bf pic in her phone she blamed it on her daughter but I just don’t believe that and then her ex husband called shes always runnin up the other bathroom to text or talk to who ever can somebody plz help me cause im really think something is goin on

  • crazy farm girl

    mine too. he did it a lot. I was too scared to end it so I was stuck 10 years like that,.

  • crazy farm girl

    if your mate never wants to have sex with you, and you get tons of offers from others but never do anything about it, and you just want your mate but they just dont want you ever. What does it mean?

  • Aru

    Its been almost 2 months of our relationship,I met this guy on Facebook gradually we became a lot closer and even met.Things have been going good but recently all of a sudden he started saying things like ”his face is so bad that I might not want to kiss it’ and when I ask him to meetup hes busy most of the time and he says he has no friends then who does he hangs out with? And once i was talking to him on phone and heard a girls laughing sound when i asked him who it was he didn’t react much and said that I was having hallucinations.My heart says something is wrong. What should i do?Are these hallucinations or something is wrong for real? How to know if he loves me for real or not?

  • wendy

    My boyfriend told me he got girl. What should I do

  • wendy

    He just told me.I am his ultimate. Even though he got another girlfriend,I really hurt.

  • Griff

    OK. Here it goes. I’ll make it short and sweet. Fiancé and I have been together for 2 years. While working at a prior job, she started to have feelings for someone 10 years younger. I found out and confronted her. She said she was confused but realized she only wanted me. I gave benefit of the doubt. That was a year ago. She’s still friends with him, and I was OK with that, but about 2 months ago she started to become distant. Sits alone in chair while I sit on couch. She still texts/calls him but randomly will show me…otherwise all conversations get deleted. I’m starting to get mad and worried. Want to confront her with this but don’t want to fight? Thoughts? Suggestions?

  • john

    I’m 23 years old and I’ve been cheated on by all my ex’s I’ve never cheated I love the one who I am with why cheat ,from this day forward I believe my girlfriend I have been with for 2 years I believe she’s has cheated but I don’t know i can trust anybody because of all my ex’s , idk what to do

  • alexandra smith

    My bf used to live with his ex for 4 mouths and i thought he was cheating but when i left his ex house he was crying and ringing me what dose that mean now he lives with my borther and i dont know if his cheating because have a go at each other most of the time

  • jerome

    Can someone please answer this for me, if the woman that I’m with always say that I’m cheating and I’m really not. what do I do.

  • Mameh1 Mameh1

    Hi, my girl friend cheated on me after 4 years and then I founded it my self and I told her it’s over and then she asked me for second Chance I forgive her but inside of ma heart am afraid that she will do it again. What should I do help me.

  • Anonymous

    Hi everyone,
    Okay so my boyfriend and I have been dating for two years and a few months & it’s been pretty rocky. We met on Facebook, through mutual friends actually and we met of course & all of a sudden we just clicked, we talked and talked at a park, then went home. It was a few weeks or even months after that, he was still talking to this so called ‘best friend’ who he’s known since primary. But what made me upset was when we had a little argument today about me messaging him cause apparently it was annoying him :(. Anyways I felt like he went way too far by saying that he slept with that ‘best friend’ & knowing him he knows it gets me upset when he mentions her because he used to spend more time talking to her than me. He told me time after time, ‘Your my first, I am a virgin, I haven’t slept with any other girl! I regret it big time, I gave him my all my everything even my virginity. I knew I should’ve listened to my mum. & no he’s denying that he never did it because he must feel bad. I don’t know, I’m so upset, I don’t know what to do, I want to break up with him but I feel like I’ll regret it. I don’t know if he’s turning the truth into a lie. Please help. He also calls me weak. I guess I’m too weak to break up with him #confused&scared

  • Ashley

    Okay so me and my boyfriend have been dating since March 23rd, 2015. The 23Rd this month will be 3 Months of us being together. I just can’t stand it Becuase he gets these random mood swings where one minute he’s all happy and telling me how he loves me as I do for him. but say, the next day he gets alittle mad and upset and stuff. Also, he ignores me from time to time and usually makes up an excuse like “hey, sorry I went out to eat” or whatever. I never really go anywhere so I’m always texting him. And like today he was supposed to come over my house but he “had to go to the lake and won’t text me in a couple of hours”…. I’ve been worried that he’s cheating on me but he promised me he wouldnt. He broke that promise Becuase I made a fake kik and asked if he has a girlfriend. He said no. I was so sad 😔 he has also lied to me too before…. but I don’t know what to do! Someone please help.

  • Genesis Batalla

    So my bf / father of my 7 month old just doesn’t seem all the into our relationship anymore. He tells me that he just got “comfortable” arounduu try me. He even stopped wanting sex and when I bring it up he claims he is tired. I don’t know what I should do because I’m 18 and living with his parents. Help

  • TheHopeLine

    Hi Shawn, Thank you for reaching out to talk about what is going on. The situation you describe sounds like it could be a disaster waiting to happen. Trust your instincts and first and foremost do what you need to do to protect your daughter. She is a minor and you are her guardian and she needs your direction to help in her life choices. Although you can not ultimately be with her every minute making sure she is not having sex with boys her age…you can make sure she is in a safe environment at home. If your instincts are telling you something is going on, take control of the situation, before things progress any further.

  • ··||HOPE||··

    I dont know what to do… yes she has cheated on me with her classmate and i caught her and forgave her and recently she confessed that some guy at a party kissed her and this was in 2012 so i dont know what to do really!?

  • lisa

    If my gf is sexually attracted to someone else should I be worried…

  • TrustFKED

    its driving me nuts I don’t know what to do…. she’s making my head go crazy like I can’t even sleep at night, I have this worry in the back of my head that she’s always talking to another guy I am literally going insane in my head. :(

  • Stuart Pennell

    I treat my woman like a queen she treats me like crap, it won’t be long before I pick up an go because I can’t take it any more.

  • hannah

    i always blame him that he is cheating bacause there is always a text or call in his cellphone and he has another phone for it.. so to prevent this i cheated on him too. What should i do? I feel like were cheating to each other.

  • Debbie

    I have a bipolar boyfriend who is flirting with his sister what should I think of that?

  • William Mathers

    I would like to know the answer to this as well. For the past 3 or 4 months, about 3 times per week, I’m having these dreams and it’s always right before I wake up.

  • alexander delapaz

    Well i have a 23 year old girlfriend and everythings been going good until she started to acting strange ever since i started talking to her about the way she acts its been nothing but

  • William Stclair

    I know if I had a chance at true love I would cherish every moment and do my best to make them happy, I would sacrifice anything to have a true love

  • William Stclair

    It seems easier for a woman to get a man, then for a man to get a new woman, the chances are better for you

  • Anonymous

    I need help! My bf and I have been together for two months. We clicked right away, spent hours talking on the phone, he would work eight to ten hours every night and still stay up talking to me for hours more when he got off work. Now he sleeps 12+ hours until its time to go to work, and doesn’t talk to me hardly at all when he gets off work. I’m lucky to talk to him two hours when he gets off work. He lives an hr and a half away from me too, which really makes matters worse. He stayed a few days in a row with me last week because he said they were cutting hours at work, he was supposed to leave that Tuesday night, but I walked over to my moms a couple houses down for a little bit, and when I came home, he. wasn’t expecting me to walk up the way I did, but he was outside on the phone with someone. He didn’t hang up, but he was definitely nervous. He was definitely talking to a woman. I played it cool and went inside. He then comes in and tellls me that he is leaving then. On Monday instead of Tuesday. He said he was going to drive to work and ask if they would work even though he wasn’t scheduled to work. He needed the hours or whatever. This was already a red flag to me. We then go to the grocery store before he leaves. I am also there to pick up a few things for my sister, I realize the grocery store didnt have an item that she had asked me to get so I asked to borrow his phone to call her. He took out his phone, and he was trying to hide it, but it kinda looked as if he was deleting a call in his call log before he let me use it. HUGE RED FLAG. So then we go to head back home. He hands me his phone to look at something he thought was funny on his Facebook, all of a sudden he has an incoming call…..my heart sinks! His ex gf was calling. I handed it to him and he ignored the call…he works with her so he said she was probably getting in touch with him to discuss something work related. Still, I asked why he didn’t just simply answer the phone, and I explained that if he had nothing to hide he would have done so. He said he just didn’t feel like talking to her…He is always pretty secretive with his phone. Sleeps with it right next to him or in his pant pocket. Like I previously stated, has been working a bit more and not really making time to talk on the phone like he used to. He had a day off the other day and didn’t come over. He said it is because he didn’t have gas money but I told him I would put gas in his car if he needed me to. He said okay, but as the night went on and it got later, he said he didn’t feel very good and he ended up not coming.. I am very scared.

  • Jocelyn

    Okay so I know my girlfriend is cheating on me but she doesn’t know I know…..I love her so much and I dont know what to do …..The girl she cheated on me with has a boyfriend and I just…Idk what to do

  • Guest cx

    Okay, the only ones that I can relate to are that we don’t spend as much time together anymore and that he doesn’t express his feelings as much. But the time schedule is because he works. And I believe him because he sends me his schedule (Which is written out so it’s not typed) and who he’s working with that day. And the feelings is because we never have time to do it as much because I’m always busy with band (I’m in marching season currently) and he has to work so almost everyday, we only have time to talk about how our day has been and we’ll through in on how cute we looked today or how much we love each other and it’s mainly him lol you know what. He’s probably faithful and it was just my insecurities and jealousy creeping in cx

  • Guest cx

    Oops, I meant *throw in
    Lol not “through in”

  • izzy saole

    He shouldn’t be talkin to his ex’s smh thats what u call a cheater…. Nuff’sed “If he’s trying to open a new chapter in life with you… then why is he still on the same page with his ex’s.” Think about it :/ u
    You can’t move foward and focus on what’s behind you all the time. All in all do what feels right ♡ if ur boyfriend makes u wonder …. then he sure is up to something…

  • izzy saole

    Js cutt her off bro…. honesty n communication plays a big part in a relationship. If she can give them to you then shine yo shoes and kick her to the curve bruhh

  • izzy saole

    Shine yo shoes bro …

  • Stacy

    Me and my guy has been together for almost three years now and the signs of your bf/gf is cheating above are how he’s been acting. So I don’t know if it’s me or if he’s really cheating, but I feel in my heart he is. I don’t know what to do. I love him unconditionally and I’d loose it if I lost him. Any thoughts can it be fixed if he is?

  • Aaron Tang

    It’s authentic and incredible. I found my gf cheated on me by her text message. At first, I found during that time she looked especially panicked when the phone message rings, and she set a complicated password for her iPhone which is a secret to me. Once she told me her password but when I read her meeage, I found the “important message” has gone! I cared her so much and I could’t leave her. So I searched a software by google which named iMyfone Data Recovery for iPhone, it can retrieve lost message easily. Unfortunately, the result that I didn’t want to see made me sad for a long time. But I forgave her later, because everyone will make mistake inevitably, the most important thing is that she love me. That is enough.

  • Aneth

    My first love is cheating on me….I caught him several times through texts but he always get mad at me when I try to talk about the girls he is cheating with..what pains more is that he is always busy to me..but free in social networks…he has cheated not only with the girls I don’t know but also even with my friends…..what should I do…if I decide to leave me…he cries and threatening to kill himself..please help me with the advice..

  • bob

    I think my gf is cheating on me we have been together for 6 years now we never see each other as I work nights and she works mornings and afternoons and on my days of she is always baby sitting for someone we have not had sex in 6 months she says it hurts and every time I even go to do something sex related she would have a go at me and make me feel like * for even trying I don’t know what to do

  • Kaye

    Yes, leave him and ditch your friend. Neither of them respect you. Also, lying will lead to more lying.

  • Jessica

    I want to apologize in advance for whoever takes the time to read this long mess…I’m not sure if this section is for commenting to previous conversations or to ask advice on your own so I’m just going to express how I feel and maybe someone on here can help me. I think I’m just paranoid and jealous from what had happened kinda in the beginning of our relationship… uhm we had seperate phones, jobs, friends, and had been together for a year and some odd months before we had our first real relationship problem… I caught him texting and picture messaging another girl. And I honestly never exactly caught him through the phone, the messages were hidden in a secret box he had downloaded on his phone but I know there was something in it cause when I asked him to open it he (being taller than me) held it in the air where I couldnt reach it and deleted anything before I could actually see it but had later told on himself while we were arguing! And one day we had another argument just simply about who the girl was he was talking to and why he wouldnt just tell me the truth and he broke up with me and she picked him up from work and of course I don’t know what happened after that but the two of us were staying with his grandparents at the time cause we had been evicted from our apartment so by his grandparents word I wasnt aloud back until we resolved it between ourselves so I moved back in with my momma and daddy. I reacted to this girl picking him up from work by going on a date with a guy from my work and tried to just forget about my boyfriend and move on cause I couldn’t beleive he had done that. Well a year and half later here we are and he’s just been acting funny again and I dont know if its because he just started a new job and is trying to get on this new schedule or because theres another woman in the picture. Don’t judge us when I say these things I just need to mention ever detail so I ensure I get your best advice! Im pretty damaged from what happened even though it was so long ago but we’ve moved forward and told each other we’d never bring it up again. Finally back in our own place again and we only have one car and one phone that we share, after the incident we had agreed we’d share a phone until we were ready for each other to get our own again, and I take him to work every morning, come see him at lunch everyday and pick him up from work and we head home together every afternoon. And he hardly ever goes out without me anymore unless he’s going to play basketball with his friends and he still asks me everytime if i want to go with them to watch, So my question to whoever is, can I finally trust my boyfriend again? Yeah he’s a little distant when he’s playing video games and I do have to repeat myself more than I would like when we talk sometimes, but does he really have time to cheat? We pretty much spend every minute he’s not at work together but I still fear cheating even after a year and a half. I really don’t have many girlfriends to talk to because after high school they kinda got a little wild and too crazy for me so I really need advice from whoever can talk me through this. I feel like im so paranoid and wasting our life together worrying but I dont think my heart can take what it’s already gone through again. Please any advice is helpful and I just need to know if I should relax or continue to keep my gaurd up. I dont want to push him away but sometimes when I began to think about it, maybe smothering and pushing him away would be less painful then catching him talking to another girl again. And I dont know if I clarified this somewhere up there but he claimed all they did was hug when she “dropped him off” a year and a half ago but I never believed that for one second. But I left it at that just because I don’t think I couldv’e handled the truth if what he told me wasnt. Like I said we share a car, a phone, our apartment is in both of our names, and hes very affectionate but has been acting a little distant. Is he just tired of being smothered or is this nightmare repeating itself??? Please HELP! Thanks so much ladies and men.

  • naomi

    so my boyfriends family member commit suicide a few weeks ago an everything went down hill he stooped talking to me almost completely but still told me he wanted to be with me an i got worried so one night i showed up at his place an he was high out his mind an wouldn’t let me into his place then i heard girls voices i said oh you have girls hear he said ya my room-mate brought them over well he went out to get something he told me this girl carly was there my heart smashed this girl try to get with evey guy ive dated this year one guy actually cheated with one of my ex i told him alight have fun ill talk to him later then left went home we talked he promised me nothing happens so i trusted it few days after i go on social media sites an start digging she made post that day about dating someone then on the day she was at his house so i went on her instagram it said happily taken buy nathan witch is my boyfriend i sent him a picture of it an we fought it out almost broke up about it i went looked again a few mins after i talked to him an it was off her page he tried telling me she did that just to make me mad then we were getting coffee a few days after an she was there we tried to avoid her but she came up to us an ask my boyfriend to speck to him alone i said nope then pulled him away with me i dont
    know what to do

  • Jonathan Strickland

    when I ask my gf if my brothers cute she says no he’s ugly as hell but every time there around each other they talk but I tell her not to and when I ask her if he’s cute she gets mad at me I don’t know what to think

  • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine®

    I am glad you are talking about it! You deserve better than that. You are worth more. If you want to chat with a HopeCoach we are here for you 24/7. We can help you think through this. http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • Matt

    I’ve been with my wife for 17yrs. Back in 2009 she had a job working with a co-worker whom she talked about constantly. Come to find out, which she already knew was sleeping with every female he came into contact with. When she got pregnant they played around secretly about our child being his. In 2015 a snow storm came where my wife had to get a hotel alone in order to make it to work, after returning home for the first week she would take 3-4 showers a day. Shortly afterwards a sex video came out on fb which was uploaded around the time she was in the hotel. The video was posted by one of the guys friends and was secretly recorded though i couldnt see the womans face after 17yrs i know what my wife sounds like, not to mention my wife contracted an STD which she tried to blame me for.Outta anger i kinda hinted hust to see what kinda reaction i would get out of this guy and he’s pretty much played into it exactly like i knew ge would. My wife denies cheating so i just wanna second opinion as to what im feeling. Does this sound like shes cheated to anyone else?