Posts by TheHopeLine Team

I sat in the back of a fourth-grade classroom in Kenya and told God that if He gave me something meaningful and purposeful to do with my life, I wouldn't quit unless it was complete or He said it was time to quit. - Derek Snook, a Millennial

How Derek helped others LIVE THEIR BEST STORY

While living and working in Africa, Derek realized, "There was often a disconnect between those who wanted to help, those who really understood how to help and those on the receiving end." Having previously volunteered at the Star Gospel Mission, a men's homeless shelter, Derek decided to spend a year living at the shelter. The hardest part of his experience was being a day laborer. Day labor was one of the most miserable and demeaning things I've done Derek said.

Because of this life-changing and eye-opening experience, Derek Snook turned a problem into a passion. Derek started his own company to empower people to "Live Their Best Story." This is the mission of "In Every Story Labor Services."

What makes IES different from other labor companies?

1. Starting wages are higher
2. Workers are paid weekly instead of daily (to help gain skills for long-term employment)
3. After working 150 hours you automatically get a share of IES profits (and the longer you work, the more your share goes up)
4. Relationship building is a priority (i.e. team building and accountability)
5. Celebration (IES celebrates each time a worker is hired full-time - check out their stories here)

Derek made many friends and gained a lot of wisdom while living at the Star Gospel Mission. The wisdom he gained is relevant and real. The following is an excerpt from a memoir he is writing:

Want versus Need

"I learned a lot about what it really takes to survive while I lived at the Star Gospel Mission. For me, seeing the men at the mission really changed my perspective. It made me wonder why we think we need so much to survive, and helped me see the dysfunction of healthy wants becoming needs. It's not that I solved the problem, either, and I write this as one erring soul to another.

In general, I learned like most things in life, that less is more. I can answer the question What do you really need to survive? with simply, God. I can answer it by adding to God, food, water, shelter and clothing. Or I can add to that a vehicle, family, and house. Or I can add to that not just any vehicle but an SUV, not just any family but one with a hot wife and 2 well-behaved children (one boy and one girl, duh), and not just any house but a brick one in a nice neighborhood.

Or I can answer it simply, I need just as much as the people around me because the real issue is their approval. Or maybe just a little more than everybody around me because the real issue is I need to feel superior...This means the answer to what you need to survive actually changes depending on if you're born in the USA or Bangkok.

To be honest I feel like this question more pointedly attacks me because I've tried taking it by the horns and answering it for myself rather than simply keeping quiet, staying in line, and going with the flow. 'Thoughtless is the man who abandons his ideals, surrendering himself to the common fate,' says Autobiography of a Yogi. And so, daily this question hides behind a corner on my walk to work and tries to mug me. 'Put your hands up and give me all your joy!' it screams. Some days the question wins and makes me sad and depressed and I'm sure no girl will ever want to marry me and my future will end living in a van down by the river.

In general, I've accepted the tension between what I want and what I need and that there's a force out there trying to move healthy things from my want list to the need list, at which point they become chains. What I gained from the mission was not a clear understanding of a right or wrong answer but instead the insight it's a serious question my life is too short not to consider now. Rather than let other people tell me what I need to live I should have the courage to decide for myself. Because however, I answer the question, What do you really need to survive? will ultimately determine what I can accomplish with my life."

Want more? Watch Derek's TEDxCharleston talk here.
You can follow In Every Story on Facebook or check out their website here.

This is the year to detox from porn in your life, whether it's your personal struggle or something that is plaguing your family or relationships. And here's why:

Why You Should Stop Watching Porn

1) Cut porn because it harms your health

While porn might make you feel like you have sexual prowess, it is actually sapping you of your natural sexual desires and abilities. Porn-induced sexual dysfunction and diminished libido with a real-life partner (as opposed to pixels on a screen) are both rising phenomena among regular porn users. And no, this is not limited to older men. Young and old, male and female, can all have variations of these undesired effects.

2) Cut porn because it harms your brain

Like other addictive substances, pornography floods the brain with dopamine. This rush of chemicals over time can re-wire the pathways in your brain to increase your appetite for, and eventually dependence on, porn.  Now you might be thinking Sure, I watch porn sometimes, but it's not like I'm addicted. Well, unfortunately, even moderate porn use is linked to damage in areas of the brain involved in motivation and decision-making. Not exactly what you'd want to sign up for.

3) Cut porn because it harms your relationships

#PornKillsLove. Pornography feeds unrealistic, and highly selfish, expectations about sex and intimacy. Who needs a partner with their own needs and boundaries and feelings, when there are millions of videos you could watch that say yes to your every desire, whim, and fetish? Research has found that women whose husbands or boyfriends look at pornography frequently are less happy in their relationships than women whose male partners do not view it at all. Further, one study found that higher rates of pornography use were negatively associated with enjoying sex with their real partner, because it cannot live up to the fantasy on the screen. Porn not only breeds insecurity, selfishness, and a lack of trust, but it also actually decreases your ability to enjoy your partner.

4) Cut porn because it harms sex trafficking victims

Not everyone who is performing in porn videos is a willing participant. Many performers in porn would meet the definition of a sex trafficking victim. Fraud, deception, threat or use of force, coercion, and abuse of power or vulnerability frequently takes place during filming on porn sets. In addition to this, many sex traffickers intentionally make porn of their victims in order to diversify their profits and to advertise. Do you really want to risk the fact that you could be watching the sexual abuse of a sex trafficking victim for pleasure? One of the best ways you can take action against sex trafficking right now is to refuse to feed the porn industry through views or purchases.

5) Cut porn because it harms society

None of our actions are in a vacuum. While most people think watching porn is a private act, there are actually many ways that it has broader social implications. Watching pornography, even the free videos, perpetuates the porn industry and the sex trafficking that occurs within it. In addition to this, pornography use is linked to increases in acceptance of sexual violence. Research shows that adult exposure to pornographic media is associated with believing a rape victim enjoys rape, increased acceptance of violence against women, and increased likelihood of sexually abusing children. While not every porn user is going to abuse someone, by watching pornography this culture of sexual harm is sustained and promoted.

6) Cut porn because it's possible!

Leaving pornography behind does not have to be a failed resolution this year. Countless of individuals, male and female, have recovered from porn use and its negative effects.

Nobody is alone in this journey. There are several resources on the National Center on Sexual Exploitation's website which can help those who are struggling with pornography, those who have a partner or spouse who struggles with pornography, and even parents who want to protect their children from pornography. All of the tools necessary are available to make this the best year yet to go porn free.

Haley Halverson is the Director of Communications for the National Center on Sexual Exploitation.  The National Center on Sexual Exploitation is the leading national organization opposing pornography by highlighting the links to sex trafficking, violence against women, child abuse, addiction and more.  Find out more and be part of the movement: To Defend Dignity.

At some point in time, many people have thought about ending their life. If you too have had these thoughts, you are not alone. There is hope for those that are having suicidal thoughts.  Just like there was for Sarah, Gavin and Sara who share their stories below.

It was All Too Much

I have been dealing with depression for eleven years, my sister had passed away and after that my life changed completely. I was abused by my father, then my parents were divorced, afterwards my mom found a really cool guy and he became my step-dad. I loved him, until he started putting me down, shoving me out of the house, getting so close to me when he yelled he would spit on me.  Then my Aunt passed away and I found out the day my sister passed away. She committed suicide. Then on my Aunt's birthday my grandmother died, of old age. I have been bullied at school to the point where I'm afraid to be myself and talk to anyone because of fear of being laughed at. I've had several classroom incidents, and I was rendered helpless, the teacher was mad. I have a really bad life here. And I have attempted suicide three times already. My HopeCoach talked to me and listened to me, after I had been so scared to talk. I am so glad because I had my pistol ready, thank you so much!
-Sarah

My HopeCoach Understood

I felt very low and I felt like ending it.  I just wanted to say a big thank you to a HopeCoach today because I was in a bad way and he understood.  He gave me some good resources and guidance that should hopefully help me in the future.  Bless TheHopeLine!  Hope is Here!
-Gavin

I'm Worth a Shot

I had been looking for something that would help me change my mind. I tried other sites, apps....you name it!  I stumbled onto TheHopeLine.com in my search and gave them a shot. I'm extremely glad I did. I spoke with a HopeCoach who not only talked me down, but actually understood and had personal experiences feeling the way I've been feeling. They talked with me and helped me to see I'm worth a shot too!
-Sara

You Are Loved.
You Are Brave.
You Are Valuable.
You Can Do This.

You too can talk with a HopeCoach from our Get Help Page. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

If you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, check out TheHopeLine's eBook: Understanding Suicide.

Are You Feeling Overwhelmed?

I came across this site by accident but I'm so glad that I did. I have been in a bad place for a while and when I found TheHopeLine.com I was feeling completely overwhelmed. I had no one to talk to because not a lot of people knew what was going on in my life. I spoke about the issues I was having for the first time in four years. I had never been able to do that before.

I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and it gave me the boost I needed to feel hopeful again.

-Lily

Related Posts:
Megan's Struggle With Anxiety Disorder
How To Find Sanity In An Insane World
Mental Illness Is Not Mental Weakness

If you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed and dealing with anxiety. TheHopeLine's free eBook can help you to understand the causes of anxiety and how to deal with it all.

You never know until you Live Life what might happen.

TheHopeLine has partnered again with Vlogsters, to bring you this video.  Vlogsters is a group of millennials sharing hope through their videos.  This is a great video for those that are struggling, or even those just in the mundanes of every day life...going to school, studying, working, living, breathing...a reminder that not every day of life is going to be a wild ride.  It's about the journey, the small, quiet moments and not just the destination.  Vlogster Adrian Nuno shared: "My hope is that it is a thought-provoking video and it can inspire others to keep on going through the hard days."

Live. Life. - YouTube

When you are young, you are given the impression that every day of your life needs to be a day of countless adventures. From movies to books to commercials, you are given the impression that life should be a wild ride. And sometimes, it is. But in so many other ways, that isn't the case.

Related Posts:
How To Follow Your Dreams
How Katie Made A difference In Uganda
School Assignment Changed Veronica's Life

For most of us, that idea of a wild life is getting up early in the morning to go to a job, or to a class that you can't wait for to end. For some of us, that idea of a wild life is staying up late at night, pondering about who we are and what we are. Some nights, those thoughts can enchant us. But other nights, those thoughts can haunt us. Haunt us that we aren't doing enough, or that we aren't living the life that we should be living. That's life.

Yes, we might be young. But for some of us, we just aren't living that wild and crazy lifestyle of adventures. Because that's not what real life is. In reality, you need to wonder what your next meal might be, or what your plans for the weekend will be that doesn't end with you going broke.

And we dream, or at least I do. I dream of hopefully making a name for myself one day. I dream that one day, I will be able to look at my troubles and say that they were well worth it. I dream that one day, I can truly be living what I dream of doing: entertaining others. Whether that be making movies, hosting a talk show or hosting the Oscars. If it were all three, that'd be pretty awesome.

But let's not get too bogged down in that. Hopefully, it will happen someday. But for now, it remains a dream.

For me, it is what keeps me going. It is what makes every late night doing homework or every hectic week worth it. Because I know it will hopefully lead me down the path to do something great. For now, I don't let my hectic work schedule and classes and homework stop me from doing what I love. I still edit movies, I still edit videos and I still film videos. For now, it just remains a passionate hobby. Hopefully though, it will soon be a passionate way of making a living.

People who won't take the simple way out for an answer. Because as someone once said, it is those who think that they can change the world that are the ones who do. Because they had the audacity to do what others wouldn't even think of.

Life is like a car driving down an empty road sometimes. You just keep going and going, even if you may not know where you are headed. And along the way, you see moments of utter beauty that just take your breath away. That's the key though, you just need to keep on going, because you'll never know what you'll end up discovering. Life is full of surprises. Some of them will be pleasant, others not so much. But what's important is that you keep on going. Because who knows?

Tomorrow, you just might win the lottery, or run into the star of your dreams, or meet that special someone who loves you for who you are. Maybe your class might get cancelled and you'll get to hop back in your bed for another hour. Or maybe, you just might get that big deal that will make your dreams come true. But you'll never know unless you try, unless you try to live life. So that's all I ask. That's it. Two simple words.

Live. Life.
-Adrian Nuno

Are you struggling with a hard day?  Do you have a way of getting through the hard times or the mundane times?  We would love for you to comment below and share how you live life on the hard days.

You might also want to check out Dawson's blog: How to Follow Your Dreams.

And check out one of Vlogster's other videos, a powerful slam poem, inspired by a girl who died by suicide: All Too Soon.

Do You Struggle With Self-Harm Like Lucy?

Lucy wrote to us at TheHopeLine® about a chat she had with a HopeCoach. 

I was about to self-harm and I didn't know where to turn so I went on here (TheHopeLine.com/gethelp) and this girl, a HopeCoach named Emily, talked with me. I was going to cut myself that day and she talked me out of it. I was lucky that she was there because when I cut myself it was bad. I'm clean now and its all thanks to her.

A special thanks to Emily and TheHopeLine®!
-Lucy

Related Posts:
A Door of Hope
Why Do People Self-Harm?
Real Story: Artist Michaela Hatfield
How To Quit Cutting

If you or someone you know struggles with self-harm, download TheHopeLine's free eBook: Understanding Self-Harm. You can also connect with our partners at Door of Hope. You are not alone.

"I feel happier!"  I was just going to say, thank all of ya'll for the help. Now, I'm not starving myself anymore, I've been eating more. Unfortunately, I haven't gained any weight, but I feel better and have tons of energy. I've gotten my depression and anxiety under control, without drugs. I haven't been suicidal anymore. 

I Found Help for My Eating Disorder at TheHopeLine

I have opened up more to my parents and been telling the truth. I have a better relationship with my parents, siblings, and to God. I have given God my problems now and I've been reading my Bible and praying daily and more to God. And, I've been clean from cutting for two days now.

I feel happier now and like my life is back on track. Thank you for all of the help :)
-Hannah

If you struggle with self-harm, depression, or an eating disorder, TheHopeLine® is here to help. Check out TheHopeLine's eBooks and chat with a HopeCoach.

When I found TheHopeLine on Google, I found the answers I was looking for.

My story goes like this:

For the past few months, I've been learning an ice skating routine for a competition in March and there was a lad who wouldn't leave me alone to concentrate.  I was forgetting the routine, getting stressed about the moves, and getting snappy with everyone. I go to the ice rink, not to stand around and chat, but to skate and practice what I need to learn. But I couldn't with Kirean around and I was getting more and more stressed. People started thinking I had anger problems and weren't even talking to me because I couldn't talk about what was bothering me. I didn't want people to think I was horrible.

After chatting on here with a HopeCoach, I realized I just needed to tell my coach, Ryan, that I'm getting confused and stressed about the routine and I don't mean to be sharp and snappy with him.

And I need to tell Kirean when I'm not practicing I can hang out and have a laugh with him, but skating time is practice time.

Thank you TheHopeLine!
Roxie (from the UK)

If you are dealing with a situation where you are unsure of what to do and feel frustrated or stressed, connect with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.  We are here for you, not only to listen but also help you figure out how to deal with what you are going through.

I can't go into all the details but the person with whom I spoke with kept me from killing myself.

I'm in a very dark place at this time but they helped me see just the tiniest bit of light at the end of this road. I can't say it won't happen again but I will say at least I will try to come back if things get black again. Thanks.
Monia

If you are in a dark place right now and need someone to help you see the light, connect with a HopeCoach. Or if this is an emergency and you or a friend needs support, right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for free confidential, 24/7 help. For a list of crisis centers around the world and additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.