Faith

You Can Be Twenty-Five Percent Happier

by Dawson McAllister

Giving Thanks Increases Happiness

Let’s be honest. Sometimes life is really hard. We feel broken, lonely, shamed, hopeless. It’s hard to find the positive in anything. And why should we even bother to try? Everything is just messed up. But what if we made a point to find SOMETHING to be happy for. What would happen to us?

Trust me, I’ve had my share of trials. Did you know I have a son who was in a car accident in his early twenties and now lives in a nursing home because he had a traumatic brain injury? It’s sometimes hard to “look on the bright side.” I get it.

But here’s something to consider, research has proven that intentionally giving thanks for things in your life, even in the tough times, increases your happiness by twenty-five percent! Now tell me, who doesn’t want to be twenty-five percent happier?

Research Proves You Can Be 25% Happier

In a study done by Emmons and McCullough, they asked some of the participants to maintain a journal recording things for which they were grateful and a separate group of participants to record things they found annoying. When the results came back they found that participants in the group monitoring things for which they were grateful had significantly higher levels of well-being than the others. It turns out that practicing gratitude increases happiness, optimism, and satisfaction with your life by approximately 25%.

Thankfulness, even in the tough times, increases your happiness by 25%! #givethanks Click To Tweet

It makes sense. Whatever you wire your brain to focus on is going to directly impact how you feel. Emmons says. “When you express a feeling, you amplify it. When you express anger, you get angrier; when you express gratitude, you become more grateful.”

The Kindness Experiment

Practicing Gratitude

So how do you go about “practicing gratitude”? It could be as simple as making a point every day to stop and find at least one thing to be thankful for. And don’t convince yourself there isn’t even one thing to be thankful for because there always is. If you are choosing to not find even one thing, then you are essentially choosing unhappiness. That is your choice. But if you want to try to find happiness look around you.

Perhaps the thing you are thankful for is as simple as…

My favorite comfy sweats
That person who held the door for me when I was shopping
The warm shining sun
Singing with the radio
TheHopeLine

Here were some things I found to be thankful for in the midst of my heart ache for my son.

He receives great care and is loved by many
We can still share a laugh together
He often gives me a big thumbs up
I am still able to host my radio show which I love
And my list could go on…

Make a point every day to stop and find at least one thing to be thankful for. #givethanks Click To Tweet

These are a start. A start to training your brain to look for something good. I know it doesn’t make the bad go away, but your attitude will start to shift.

You can also practice gratitude by keeping a journal and documenting things to be thankful for. This is a great tool to go back and read when you are feeling down.

Further Research: Helping Others Increases Morale

The study also found that grateful people stop focusing so much on their pain and problems, and rather start to see how they can help others in distress. It is a great morale booster to take your eyes off your own problems and focus on helping others.

Great Morale Booster: Take your eyes off your own problems and focus on helping others. #helpinghand Click To Tweet

If you need some help to get started with how to give back, we’ve come up with a list of our Top 10 Ways to give back this Holiday season. Click here to view the list.

There is a verse in the Bible that says, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). God knew that life on earth wasn’t going to always be easy once sin came into the world, but he also knew long ago, what researchers have just recently proven…that if we continually give thanks through it all, we will make it through the tough times and find happiness.

What can it hurt? Give it a try. Give thanks!

Are You Depressed and Emotionally Exhausted? – EP 26

There Is Hope for Depression

Overwhelmed and Depressed

Have you noticed there are many people who struggle with deep emotional issues? They are often sad and miserable and can stay that way for months, even years. These people are depressed. Depression is described as a prolonged unexplained sadness which affects everyday life.

If you are depressed, you may feel trapped beneath emotions of overwhelming sadness and hopelessness. Maybe you lack the motivation, energy, and strength to face life’s many challenges. The good news is there are many people who have won this debilitating emotional battle.

Join me as I talk with Samantha, Melissa, and Cody each who are in some way seeking to cope with their depression. I’ll also speak with Dustin who is creatively reaching out to people he knows are depressed.

Are you depressed and emotionally exhausted? There is hope. @DawsonRadio #depression Click To Tweet

Emotionally Exhausted

Samantha is 17 and just transferred to a new school. She knows a few people but can’t play sports and feels she can’t be herself. She just reunited with her real dad and her step-father doesn’t know.

Most who are depressed are carrying too heavy of a load and over time become increasingly drained and weary. Because they are downhearted, it is difficult for them to identify what’s depleting their emotions. It’s like their emotional batteries are slowly but surely being drained.

Samantha has big issues draining life from her. She needs to identify and prioritize big things that are pulling her down. For example,

She transferred to a new high school. That would be a big adjustment for anyone, let alone someone at 17 and in their senior year.
She loves sports but can’t play them this year because she changed schools.
Changing schools would be more than enough but there’s more going on in her life. She just reunited with her birth dad and her step-father doesn’t know a thing about it.
To make matters more complicated, she doesn’t get along with her step-father. In fact, they hardly ever speak.
She feels it’s her against the whole family.

Samantha has been hit with a double whammy, a lot of stress at her new school, and family pressures at home. No one should have to face that kind of exhausting stress. Is it any wonder she’s depressed? Samantha needs to turn to God like she never has before. Only He can give her the energy she needs to face her challenges. My prayer for her is as she reaches out for help, God will replenish all she has lost and more. He said in Jeremiah 31:25: “For I will refresh the weary soul and replenish all who are weak.”

Depression Setbacks, Don’t Give Up

Melissa’s been dealing with depression for about 7 to 8 years now. She was getting better but now is going downhill, since her therapist was murdered.

In any situation, where a person needs to change, there will be setbacks and even major roadblocks. In Melissa’s case, she was starting to make progress. Her counselor was truly helping her but then shockingly, was murdered. Now, Melissa wants to give up and throw the progress she has made away. Melissa should ask herself what would her therapist, if he were alive today, advise her to do? No doubt would say, “Hang in there, don’t give up. If you were making progress before, you can make it again.”

It’s God, who can reach down in Melissa’s life and give her the strength to seek help once again. The Bible says, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5b My prayer for Melissa is although there have been tears, even weeping, joy will come into her life, the kind of joy only God can give.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. #Psalm30 #NeverGiveUp Click To Tweet

Worthless, Rejected and Depressed

Cody says he does alright fighting the depression back for a little while, but it always comes back. He’s felt a lot of rejection in his life. He first was rejected when he was 8 and his mom left him with his aunt. He doesn’t want to keep fighting and keep trying to prove he’s worth something to somebody. He’s tried to kill himself before, but his sister kept him from it 2 or 3 times.

As in Cody’s case, sometimes you get to the point, where you just have to hang on. You tell yourself, I’m not going to quit, no matter how hard it is.

Cody needs to give himself a break. He has a core belief that he’s worthless. He’s been blaming himself for this depression since he was a child. His mother, in her own dysfunction, helped drive that lies deeper into Cody’s heart by abandoning him when he was but 8 years old.

Feels Like He Doesn’t Belong

Now, after all this time, Cody feels like he doesn’t belong anywhere. Add to that heartbreaking issue, Cody also has financial problems which seem more than he can bear. He feels like a broken man and will need every bit of courage to overcome what has been pounded into him.

He already tried to kill himself and has thought about it a lot. Suicide is not the answer. Instead, may he find the victory over the dark clouds and may God touch his life and heal him.

King David cried out to God at moments of despair. He said, “Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me. I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched. My eyes fail, looking for my God.” (Psalm 69:1-3) “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” (Psalm 42:5)

There is hope! If you are depressed, there are people God has put around you who will help you!

There is hope! If you are depressed, there are people God has put around you who will help you! Click To Tweet

Letters Helped Others with Depression

I got the chance to talk to an amazing, inspirational guy, Dustin. Dustin’s friend lost her brother in a car accident, so Dustin wrote her what he calls, “feel better” letters. When she got depressed, she could read one of the letters and feel better. Dustin has now written over 100 encouragement letters for others dealing with depression.

Dustin has his own struggles. He’s been homebound for 6 years because he has Ehlers–Danlos Syndrome where the collagen breaks down in the body and the joints won’t hold together anymore. Instead of being bitter towards God about his own struggles, he’s reaching out to others. What a powerful example he is. People who are depressed and reach out to help others find a whole new energy.

Did Today’s Episode on Depression Get You Thinking?

Jesus Christ said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28)

I have to say it again. If you are depressed, there is hope!!! God is near to those who are crushed in spirit. He wants to heal your emotions. God wants to help you and He has put people around you to help you. Ask the Lord for help and strength and then look around and see who God has put in your life to help you. Also, check out our many resources for help with depression.

Resources for Help with Depression:

Check out my eBook: Understanding Depression.
Check out: Verses of Hope When Struggling with Depression.
Check out my blogs: Feelings of Depression, To Those Who Feel Worthless, and How Can I Find Hope?.
Need to talk to someone about how you are feeling, then: Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.
Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to the ThePrayerZone.com and check it out.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
Dawson

Why do Bad Things Happen?

This Guest Post comes from Everystudent.com, a safe place to explore questions about life and God. We thank them for allowing us to share their response to the very hard question everyone has asked at some point in their life…”Why does God allow bad things to happen?”

How do we explain what we see in this world?

Terrorist attacks, sex slavery, racism, world hunger?

Subconsciously, we probably ask ourselves questions like these quite often. But consciously we rarely do. We’re so busy living our lives we rarely stop and wonder WHY?

But then something happens to wake us up. Our parents get divorced. The girl down the street gets abducted. A relative gets cancer. That wakes us up for awhile. But then we can often sink back into the denial. That is, until another tragedy hits, another incongruence. Then we’re likely to think, Something isn’t right here. Something is really, really wrong. This isn’t how life’s supposed to be!

So, WHY do bad things happen?

Why isn’t this world a better place?

There is an answer to the WHY question, found in the Bible. But it’s not an answer that most people like to hear: the world is the way it is because it’s the world that we, in a sense, have asked for.

Sound strange?

What or who could make this world different than the way it is? What or who could guarantee that life is pain-free, for everyone, all the time?

God could. God could accomplish that. But he doesn’t. At least not right now. And we’re angry with him as a result. We say, “God can’t be all-powerful and all-loving. If he were, this world wouldn’t be the way it is!”

We say this hoping that God will then change his position on the matter. Our hope is that putting a guilt trip on him will make him change the way he’s doing things.

But he doesn’t seem to budge. WHY doesn’t he?

God doesn’t budge — he doesn’t change things right now — because he’s giving us what we asked for: a world where we get to treat him as though he is absent and unnecessary.

Remember the story of Adam and Eve? They ate the “forbidden fruit.” That fruit was the idea that they could ignore what God said or gave them, and strike out on life apart from God. For Adam and Eve sort of hoped that they could become like God, without God.

They consumed the notion that there was something more valuable in existence than God himself, something more valuable than having a personal relationship with God. And this world system — with all of its faults — came as a result of the choice they made.

Their story is the story of all of us, isn’t it? Who hasn’t said — if not audibly at least in their hearts — God, I think I can do this without you. I’ll just go this one alone. But thanks for the offer.

We’ve all tried to make life work without God.

Why do we do that? Probably because we’ve all bought the notion that there’s something more valuable, more important, than God. For different people it’s different things, but the mindset is the same: God isn’t what’s most important in life. In fact, I’d just as soon do it without him altogether.

What is God’s response to that?

He allows it. Many people experience the painful results of others’ or their own choices that run contrary to God’s ways…murder, sexual abuse, greed, lying/fraud, slander, adultery, kidnapping, etc.

All of these can be explained by people who have refused to give God access and influence over their lives. They are going about their lives as they see fit, and they and others suffer.

What’s God view on all of this?

He’s not smug. In fact, God could rightly be viewed as leaning forward, compassionate, hoping we will turn to him so that he can bring real life to us.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”¹ But not all are willing to go to him. Jesus commented on this when he said: “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.”²

Again, Jesus brings the issue back to our relationship with him. “I am the light of the world. He who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”³

But what about when life is unfair, when bad things happen to us?

What about those horrible circumstances that hit us in life, caused by someone other than ourselves? When we are feeling victimized, it’s useful to realize that God himself endured horrendous treatment from others. God more than understands what you are going through.

There is nothing in life that could be more painful than what Jesus endured on our behalf, when he was deserted by his friends, ridiculed by those who would not believe in him, beaten and tortured before his crucifixion, then nailed to a cross, in shameful public display, dying of slow suffocation.

What To Do When We’re Mad At God

He created us, yet allowed humanity the freedom to do this, to fulfill Scripture and to set us free from our sin. This was no surprise to Jesus. He was aware of what was coming, foreknowing all the details, all the pain, all the humiliation.

“And as Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took the twelve disciples aside, and on the way he said to them, ‘Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of man will be delivered to the chief priests and scribes, and they will condemn him to death, and deliver him to the Gentiles to be mocked and scourged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day.”⁴

Imagine knowing something that awful was going to happen to you. Jesus understands emotional and psychological anguish. The night that Jesus knew they would arrest him, he went to pray, but took some friends with him.

“And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, ‘My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here and watch [keep awake] with me. And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will but as thou wills.”⁵

Though Jesus confided in his three friends, they didn’t understand the depth of his torment, and when Jesus returned from prayer he found them asleep. Jesus understands what it’s like going through pain and extreme sadness alone.

Here it is summarized, as John describes in his gospel: “He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world knew him not. He came to his own home, and his own people received him not. But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God.”⁶ “For God sent the Son into the world, not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”⁷

There is no question that there is pain and intense suffering in this world.

Some of it is explained by selfish, hateful actions on the part of others. Some of it defies an explanation in this life. But God offers us himself. God gives us the knowledge that he has endured also, and is aware of our pain and needs. Jesus said to his disciples, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”⁸

There is ample reason to be afraid, troubled, but God can give us his peace, which is greater than the problem before us. He is after all, God, the Creator. The one who has always existed. The one who created a universe on the backstroke.

‘Out of the Dark’: Mandisa chats with TheHopeLine!

Yet even in his power, he’s also the one who knows us intimately, even the smallest, insignificant details. And if we will trust him with our lives, relying on him, though we encounter difficulties, he will hold us securely.

Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”⁹ He went through our ultimate threat — death — and overcame it. He can take us through the difficult circumstances of this life, and then bring us into eternal life, if we will trust him.

We can either go through this life with God or without him.

Jesus prayed, “O righteous Father, although the world has not known you, yet I have known you; and these have known that you sent me; and I have made your name known to them, and will make it known, so that the love with which you loved me may be in them, and I in them.”¹⁰

You might find yourself asking, “Why is life so hard?” Without God, humanity is easily drawn into hatred, racism, sexual abuse, murdering each other.

Jesus said, “I came that you might have life, and have it more abundantly.”

This post was originally published here. If you have further questions about God? Please see www.everystudent.com If you have asked God into your heart please visit www.startingwithgod.com

Did this post get you thinking? Did it raise new thoughts or questions? We welcome your comments below.

If you are wondering what a relationship with God is all about, you may also enjoy this free eBook.

Breaking Free from Self-Harm

This guest post is written by Amanda Turner, the founder and head writer of Breaking Free Indeed. Her hope is that by sharing her own story and the truths God has shown her, others might not feel so alone on their own journeys and can also find help in these truths. This passion grew from seeing how God freed her from the struggles that she felt so trapped in and redeemed the brokenness that she once thought could only be hidden at best.

Never Again. One Day at a Time.

“Well, it’s been two weeks…but what about two months from now? Will I make it that far okay? ‘Three months free’, ‘One year free’, sounds impossible…How do I know I’ll even be able to hold out a day more?”

It seems like just the other day I wrestled with those words. It’s amazing how quickly time moves. More than that, it is amazing how dramatically God transforms.

The Day I Gave Up the Fight to Resist

May 27th, 2015 was the day I gave up. After almost a year of living under intense depression and anxiety, I didn’t know what else to do. I felt lonely, panicked and overwhelmed. Hiding in my bedroom, I decided the nearest sharp object to me was the answer. I didn’t care anymore that I knew I wasn’t supposed to do it; all I cared was to drown out these feelings, and cutting seemed like the most promising way.

I had found myself thinking about it many times before. I could picture it in my head and feel the itch of it on my skin. I always told myself I wouldn’t ever fall for it though. For one, I didn’t have the guts to actually cut my skin, that’s gross, and besides that, it was obviously just crazy to do. Yet those thoughts and feelings persisted. I tried drawing on myself as a substitute to cutting, but at the end of the day I was still frantic and still had no relief. My resolve wore thinner and thinner. Anxiety and heartache can take you to places you never imagined you would go if you allow it to, and I was tired of fighting.

After thinking about it for a while, it didn’t sound so radical or drastic to do. It almost even sounded logical. I needed a way to release these feelings trapped inside of me. So when that night came, and I hurt, but I couldn’t cry, and I felt like I had nowhere to run, and I forgot the God who had carried me through the past trials of my life, I turned to a blade instead.

Pulled Down and Swallowed Up

At first it seemed good, I had done something about my pain. There was a level of satisfaction in that. But it quickly left. What had I done? Didn’t I promise I would never go here?! I had failed, and I had lost everything. The memory of what I had done to myself only made that night darker as I tried to fall asleep, and the following day just became even more anxious and painful. I told my parents what happened, and I promised them never again.

A couple weeks later, life got too busy to deal with, too overwhelming, too many thoughts and too much pain inside because I knew I was a failure at everything. How could I get away? Will it ever stop?? I remembered cutting myself before…I wasn’t supposed to do that…but no point in fighting now really is there? I had already lost. I had gone there before. This was my life now it seemed. So be it…

I cut myself again several times over the next week or two. And I made sure not to let anyone know this time. Not one single person. I couldn’t last very long in between cutting…while I felt better as I was doing it, that feeling stopped so quickly after I was done. It was like being pulled down into a vortex that just swallowed you up. Quick, slippery, frantic, swirling, falling, dark, helpless. But even as much as I hated it, I was determined to run full on into it. If I dove in deep enough maybe it would finally be enough to get me away from everything.

Interrupted

My plan was good to go, until it got interrupted by God. June 28th, 2015, we left for Jackson, MS, so I could go to Ballet Magnificat’s Summer Dance Intensive. I was staying on campus this time instead of with my family in a hotel like I had the years before. I figured this would work well actually, because there would be no one to stop me during those two weeks.

However, as my parents left and I stood there alone in the dorm room, I felt something deep down inside, buried under my stubbornness but still alive and steady, assuring me I had to let God change my heart here during this camp. Before that voice faded, I wrote a note to myself saying, “Whatever it takes. Do it!” Sometimes staring at those words was the only thing that made me hold on, and I almost gave up several times, but in my moment of crisis God always showed up with a reminder of His love for me.

Letting Go of My Need to Control

When you’ve been living your life trying to control it all yourself, it is painfully difficult to remember how to surrender and trust God to have the reigns, but it is necessary and it is worth it. He will pull your fingers open as gently as you allow Him to.

I didn’t notice it happening, but God changed me drastically during those two weeks in Ballet Magnificat’s intensive. At the end of my time there, I wrote out what God had shown me about anxiety and my desire for control over my life and emotions. I was seeing then that I could go to Him when I was anxious and overwhelmed and He would hold me. I was realizing that I could dump my emotions – even the ugly ones – on Him and that He could heal the hurt better than any cover-up trick I could try, if only I would trust Him to take care of my heart in His way and His timing. He is my Shelter from the craziness of this world and the craziness of my heart. I needed to remember these things.

Could I Stay Clean?

Coming back home, I worried about what would happen when real life hit again. Would I make it? Would I break again? I didn’t want to break; I actually wanted to get better now. But I was still so tired and worn down from my previous battles, did I have the ability to actually hold out and make it when things got hard? I looked online at people sharing stories of self-harm. They talked about how they had gone seven months without cutting, or three years free from it. It felt somewhat depressing. I had barely made it two weeks without cutting and many times I felt like it would kill me to keep fighting it. How could I ever reach seven months??

Today, I can give you that answer: you get there one day, one moment, at a time. You get there, not by resolving to last for however long without messing up, but by submitting in your heart to give up your will and your way and to run to God in every pain and bump that you face. You walk hand in hand with Him moment by moment, day by day, and then one day you stop and look over your shoulder in amazement because…

Now I Celebrate

Today, June 28th, 2016, I celebrate one year free from cutting! It was not impossible. I could not have gotten myself out of it, but with God, all things are possible. It is not us working our way out but simply being open and surrendered to His work in our hearts that brings us freedom and lasting victory.

God promises us this in the Bible:

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” – Matthew 19:26

God Understands Your Pain

For those of you who struggle with cutting or self-harm, either that the thought keeps chasing you or that you feel stuck going back to it, please know that God understands your pain and He is the only true Healer of our hearts.

You may be able to trick your brain for a short time by hurting your body, but in the end it is only hurting your heart further. By giving up on running from your pain, and instead facing it and bringing it before Jesus, He can offer a deeper, truer, comfort and He can mend the brokenness. His love is deeper than your skin, just like your pain. He can reach you more fully than a blade can. The relief won’t feel the same as cutting does, but it will be more complete and long lasting if you wait patiently at His feet and keep coming back to Him.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18

Breaking Free

To anyone who struggles, whether it be with self-harm or something totally different, whatever sin it is that you feel like you won’t be able to stay away from, that you are doomed to be drug back there forever, that you don’t know if you really do have the strength to get past: you really can make it. You can break free. You can leave the old patterns and lies behind. You don’t have to keep going back, and you don’t have to fear messing up again once you stop.

Yeah, you may trip, but God understands and has compassion on you. He won’t condemn you. You can instantly run back to Him for a hug when you do mess up. But also, you don’t have to trip! If you simply focus on keeping your gaze locked on Him, you won’t have to worry about sin suddenly pulling you down. He will keep your feet from slipping and will teach you to walk in His will. It is possible for “never again” to really mean never again, if you lean on your Savior’s strength and not your own.

“As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.” – Psalm 18:30-32

“Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” – Psalm 94:17-19

-Amanda

This post was originally published here.

Worn – Tenth Avenue North [Video]

Is Life Wearing You Down?

“I’m tired, I’m worn. My heart is heavy from the work it takes to keep on breathing. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve let my hope fail. My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world. And I know that you can give me rest. So I cry out with all that I have left.”

These words from the song Worn by Tenth Avenue North resonate with so many. Hold on. You are not alone.

For more resources on the topic of suicide go to our Suicide Resource Page.

The Reason – Lacey Sturm [Video]

The Reason

This is one of our favorite songs by Lacey Sturm.

“All my life I searched for something to satisfy the longing in my heart. And everytime I come away emptier than before. And now I finally see the reason, cause I was made to be yours alone. You formed my heart with your own hands, but I just could not understand. If I gave you my life, I’d be healed by your grace. I was made for your love, but gave others your place.”

You too have a reason. This hope is yours as well!

For more resources on the topic of suicide go to our Suicide Resource Page.

Lacey Sturm’s Story In Her Own Words [Video]

When It’s All Too Much

Rocker Lacey Sturm, formerly the lead singer for the band FlyLeaf, planned to end her life by suicide when she was 16. Life was too heavy. She’d been hurt by too many people. And as an atheist, she just couldn’t find a reason to “do” life anymore.

But then she encountered someone who knew all her pain and loved her anyway. She found the hope to hang on.

For more resources on the topic of suicide go to our Suicide Resource Page.

This Hole in My Soul

Why do I want to be anyone but me?

I have to confess I have this problem…when I look around me, I always think everyone else has it better than me. They have better hair, better clothes, a better face, a nicer house, a better personality, better skills and talents.

The Why?

Society’s pressure never ends; you get bombarded with it everywhere you go. Trying to be the best, trying to look the part you want to look, trying to appear as if you are the most interesting person in the world and your life is the most wonderful life possible.

I think if most of us look at the highlights in our own lives….those moments laughing with friends, vacations, the good days, the days where we look and feel good, those times where we do something awesome and noteworthy aka Instagram worthy…those highlights make us look as if our life is something to take notice of. I know I’m not the only one who goes back and looks over my pictures and is like…oh yeah, cool, I really have had some good times!

As we all know, everyday life is not glamorous…sometimes it’s downright rigid, boring, and extremely monotonous. Get up, eat breakfast, go to work or school, go home, eat dinner, study, binge on Netflix…blah, blah…not too much in a typical day that’s Instagram worthy. I have to tell myself…this is okay, and I’m telling you it’s okay. Life doesn’t have to be exciting every moment.

Why don’t I feel complete?

Here’s my secret…probably an issue you’ve never heard of…I have dad issues (gasp). I’m being sarcastic if you can’t tell. I know so many of us have this issue. I have two dads (dad and step-dad), but the fact that neither of them were completely vested in my life when I was younger affected me a lot. In many ways, this left me with a hole in my soul.

However, the thing that always puzzled me about this hole in my soul was that I knew Jesus. I knew He was the answer and the only way to fill the longing in my heart. But I didn’t always listen and seek Him. Instead, I looked for love and acceptance through guys. I went through many years of liking guys who didn’t like me, but it didn’t take long for that to change. Once I hit about 18 years old, guys liking me wasn’t a problem anymore and I soaked up the attention and “love” I got from them. This was not a healthy thing to do. It only leads to TROUBLE with a capital T.

If you need approval or attention to feel good about yourself then this can only lead you down a bad path. It means you will do things you didn’t want to do to get attention and feel better about yourself.

How do I fix it?

To “fix” the hole in my soul and fulfill the desire to be who I was meant to be is simple, but I tend to complicate it. We are all actually made this way…incomplete on our own. God did this so He can complete us. We are only made totally complete through God. Without him, we will always have an emptiness looming.

God is Calling You to Him

God created us in His image. He made us to have a deep, meaningful relationship with Him and to be in constant communication with Him. If we aren’t following through on that, then we are going to feel incomplete. If we put our faith in ourselves or others, not in God, then we are not going to flourish and be who we were meant to be.

Sometimes God seems far away. There are so many other things going on in life and He feels just “up there” sometimes. The truth is God can be more present and more real in your life, the more you let Him. He is not going to show up uninvited. He gives us free will to call upon Him or to ignore Him.

Related Posts:

To Those Who Feel Worthless

Show Me You’re Real God

There was a time in my life where I wasn’t sure if God existed. After some straying and darkness, I cried out to Him and prayed, “I need for you to show me you are real. I need to know you are here and care about me.” One time, during a church service, I was praying this to Him and I felt His presence and felt for a moment like I was breathing pure oxygen. God showed up and answered my prayer. I felt his presence so strongly, and since then, I’ve never doubted his existence again. It’s so cool because the more you press into Him (by praying, reading and studying the Bible), the more you see Him at work in your life.

God promises if you seek Him, you will find Him. I’ll leave this scripture with you, Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Just try it! Seek the Lord with your whole heart! Don’t hold anything back and see what He does in your life. Watch Him fill the hole in your soul. Watch Him help you become God-confident and be who you were meant to be!

Rachel (Co host of Dawson McAllister Live)

Relationship Disasters – What Not to Do: EP 22

Questions to Ask Before Starting to Date

In This Episode:

Even before you begin to date, there are some questions you need to ask yourself and then answer which could save you from a lot of pain, heartache and relationship disasters. In this episode, I talk with Dustin about his unrealistic expectations with dating. Then I talk with Blake, who jumped into dating and a physical relationship way too quickly. Lastly, Jessica and I have a conversation about her dating over 150 guys in one year and how she’s needs to ask herself, “Have I become obsessive and out of control in my search to find the right one?”

Unrealistic Expectations

Dustin met a girl on a dating website. Dustin soon realized he has too much going on to date a girl who lives 2 hours away. Plus, he’s not attracted to her but he’s still dating her.

In my conversation with Dustin, it became clear he had unrealistic expectations about what dating could do for him.

Dustin should have asked himself am I genuinely attracted to this girl or am I settling for less, just so I can be in a relationship?

If you are dating and realize this person is not the one you want to keep dating then don’t drag it out. Sometimes we attempt to keep the relationship going when we should have ended it. Dustin went into the relationship with high expectations, even though she didn’t meet them, he kept dating her anyway. What a mistake! Dustin is settling for a girl he’s not attracted to, just to be in a relationship.

Dustin should also have asked himself, “Do I have enough time and emotional energy to give to the relationship?”

Dustin isn’t in a good place to start a relationship. Why is he even looking for someone right now? He has too much on his plate already. It should be a clue he’s not ready to seriously date. Successful dating relationships take time and can’t be pushed, manipulated, or made into something it’s not. Dustin was trying to force a relationship with her even though she wasn’t the right girl and it wasn’t the right time.

Dustin should have asked himself a very direct question: “Am I looking to this girl to make me feel complete?”

Spiritual and Emotional Completeness

No woman is going to make Dustin feel whole for very long. A true spiritual and emotional completeness comes only from a deep relationship with Jesus Christ. His love never fails us. His wisdom is beyond our wildest imagination. His plans for us are always the best. King David, a great king in the Bible said, “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.” Psalm 7: 4-5

God knows our desires and knows what we need, who else can helps us like God? We are easily fooled but God is never. If we seek Him with all of our heart, all our other desires will take care of themselves.

If the person is not the ONE you want to keep dating then don’t drag it out. #relationships Click To Tweet

Jumped into Dating Way Too Quickly

Blake and his girlfriend jumped into dating way too quickly. It became physical even though neither of them intended it to be.

Blake should have asked himself, “Is this relationship spinning out of control?”

Don’t let the powerful feelings of false intimacy, stirred up by the misuse of sex, fool you into thinking you have an awesome relationship. In reality, you don’t! It’s just a matter of time until the whole thing will fall apart. That’s what happened to Blake. They weren’t even friends and didn’t know how to fix it. Sex was a cloud over their relationship that kept it from growing and led it to be out of control. Don’t let that happen to you!

Don’t let false intimacy, stirred up by sex, fool you into thinking you have a great relationship. Click To Tweet

Epitome of a Relationship Disaster

Jessica blew my mind. Here is a young woman who has dated over 150 guys in one year. She said she’s the epitome of a relationship disaster.

Jessica needed to ask herself, “Have I become obsessive and out of control in my search to find the right one?”

She has developed a full-blown addiction to guys. She keeps going with a different guy nearly every night but it doesn’t work. She always comes up empty and yet craving for more. She’s turned guys into a god. There’s no way these guys could ever meet her needs. She’s looking to them to do for her what only God can do.

Carousel of Heartbreak

Don’t ever let someone you are dating turn into a god. Only God can be God. Only God can fill your emptiness. One could date a million guys, still come up empty and still trapped on a carousel of heartbreak. Only Jesus Christ can rescue Jessica from the blinding, cruel carousel. The last thing she needs to do is go after one more guy. She needs a whole new personal healing. She needs to put first things first and get her life out of reverse. Jesus said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

Don’t let who you're dating turn into a god. Only God can be God. Only God can fill your emptiness. Click To Tweet

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

My hope is you will continually ask yourself important questions and be honest with the answers. Be very careful before starting to date because you could end up with scars God never intended you to have. With God’s help, you can develop a healthy, happy dating experience and that is my hope for you.

Resources for Relationships:

Check out my eBooks: Understanding Dating, Getting Over a Broken Heart, Relationship Advice for Girls, and Relationship Advice for Guys.

Check out my blogs: 8 Signs Your Dating Relationship is Unhealthy, Stop the Heartache – 4 Things to Avoid, and It Felt So Right.

Check out these stories of hope from people who have struggled in their relationship: Relationship Issues, and My Relationship, Depression and Then Hope
Need to talk about your issues? Sign up for an Email Mentor, an online coach who will email you and come along beside you to offer support.
Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to the ThePrayerZone.com and check it out.

With God’s help, you can develop a healthy, happy dating experience. @dawsonradio #RelationshipGoals Click To Tweet

Would you consider doing something for me?

If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Join me for my next episode on how to deal with anger. Everybody struggles with it, you, me and the guy down the street and that’s why God speaks about it so much in the Bible. I had a chance to talk with 3 people: Evie, Donald and Matthew about their anger. I think you will be moved by their honesty but also the serious traps they could fall into if they don’t deal with it.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
Dawson

Your Scars Are Proof That God Heals

Do you often feel like a failure? This blog was originally published on Anthem of Hope, a non-profit dedicated to illuminating hope for those battling brokenness, depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicide and addiction.

Your scars are proof that God heals.

We live in a world that calls failure a weakness, and labels weakness a flaw. We are taught to mask the truth because, “it’s better if you keep your pain to yourself,” and that the best way to lead is from our strengths instead of our weakness. This is not the way to live, and I’d encourage you to do exactly the opposite.

If I can be honest, I think our world has built itself on a shallow and narrow foundation. The truth is that this foundation is ready to crack at any second. Our society doesn’t allow people the freedom to share their pains, their struggles or their hardships. These “dark times” have become surrounded by stigmas and kept quiet instead of being allowed to be spoken of freely. While I know this is just my opinion, I think I have a pretty valid point to stand upon.

1. “Crying is not allowed.”

2. “Keep your pain to yourself.”

3. “Don’t show your weaknesses.”

Our society doesn't allow people the freedom to share their pains, struggles or their hardships. Click To Tweet

There is hope.

These are things we’ve heard throughout life. And while many of us may try to shake off their weight, you’d be surprised to know how many people are haunted by these thoughts on a daily basis. I believe in a God of Grace, love, and second chances. And if it wasn’t for those divine qualities all working together, I can promise you that I wouldn’t be standing here today. I’ve been redeemed. No matter how dark and desolate your life is or was, there is hope and God can take your life to places you never thought imaginable. Every cut, bruise and broken bone can be mended and made new by the love of God.

Related Posts:

How Can I Find Hope?

We All Go Through Dark Times

To Those Who Feel Worthless

I am not proud of my past.

I’m not proud of my past, but I wear my scars on my sleeve because I am proud of who I’ve become in Christ. You should as well. These scars remind us that we can conquer all things and that healing is possible. There is nothing too broken for God. He can fix anything because he created everything, and that includes you.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”—2 Corinthians 5:17

My failures and mistakes are NOT my most treasured moments, but because of them I am now a living testimony of His redemption and grace. Guess what? So are you! Your story, your past, your suffering and pain, it can all be used as a testimony and story to help others.

Don’t hide your scars, wear them as proof that God heals. It's okay to not be okay. @JarridWilson Click To Tweet

Your story is His glory. Share it to the world. Don’t hide your scars, wear them as proof that God heals. It’s okay to not be okay.

—Anthem of Hope

Do you feel like the pain will never end?

Your future is amazing and we want to show you how you can find a lasting hope in knowing that you are loved and have a purpose! Download our free eBook, Understanding Hope, for help.

How Can I Find Hope?

by Dawson McAllister

LIFE.

It can be really, stinkin’ hard sometimes, right?

When your situation gets really tough…You just can’t find happiness anymore…Everything seems to be going against you…

What keeps you from just giving up?

HOPE.

Have you ever wondered, “How Can I Find Hope?”

Hope keeps you hanging on because it allows you to believe that:

Things will get better.
You have a purpose to fulfill.
There is a plan for your life.
You are cared for

But I would like to suggest that people are losing hope at alarming rates.

As the founder of TheHopeLine which has been around for 25 years, I’ve seen trends. While relationship issues with friends, dating, and parents used to be the number one thing people wanted to talk about…now it is self-worth issues, suicide, depression.

And statistically, we can look at national suicide rates and note that they are up significantly. The Centers for Disease Control recently released a report that shows that between 1999 and 2016 suicide rates went up by more than 30 percent in over half the states.

Why are we losing hope?

People are losing hope at alarming rates. But, why are we losing hope? @DawsonRadio Click To Tweet

5 Reasons for Losing Hope.

In my many conversations with teenagers and young adults, I hear variations of these five reasons over and over. I believe these statements capture some of the leading causes of hopelessness:

They have no experience receiving unconditional love which causes feelings of worthlessness.
Their identities are tied to changing circumstances and not a secure source, so they don’t know who they are.
Life is meaningless. They can’t find a purpose.
Intense feelings of being alone, rejected, abandoned…no one cares.
Inability to find anything to look forward to.

Do any of those describe you?

What Causes People to Feel so Lost?

Let’s consider the prevailing way people view the world in this moment. It’s often referred to as the postmodern worldview.

Perhaps this worldview can best be summarized with, “You do you.”

In some ways – I appreciate this saying – it allows people to be accepted for who they are without being judged harshly. “Be yourself.” There’s nothing wrong with that.

But on a deeper level, the message is, “You can believe whatever makes the most sense to you based on your life circumstances. There is no one truth. It’s all relative to your experiences.”

While this may sound good on the surface, the reality is it leaves a lot of people in a state of chaos.

Because what is true anymore and, well, what does work best for you?

When we are unstable without something solid to hold onto we start to lose our sense of self, our sense of purpose, our sense HOPE.

Related Posts:

6 Ways to Silence Shame

Ronnie’s Life Changing Decision

To Those Who Feel Worthless

Where do you start?

There are over 4,200 belief systems in the world today.

If any of them can be true…where do you start?

As you search for your own truth, you realize you are completely untethered. There is nothing to anchor yourself to. Especially if what you believe depends upon your circumstances because circumstances change. People in your life change. Everything is constantly moving. So if you are tying your identity and your belief system to your circumstances (even if that belief system is that you don’t believe in anything), what happens when your circumstances change?

You once again feel lost. Untethered.

So let me ask you a question that the postmodern worldview would appreciate…

How’s life working for YOU right now? How is what you believe or don’t believe working for you? Is it giving you hope? Do you feel secure? Is it helping you feel loved and cherished?

What Give Us Hope?

To match the 5 reasons people are losing hope that I mentioned above, I believe we have hope when:

We feel loved and valued.
We know who we are without a doubt.
Our purpose is clear.
We don’t feel abandoned.
Our future is bright.

How can we have this security?

Only one thing has consistently provided all of these things for me and that is my Christian faith. I am not talking about religion, but about my relationship with Jesus and my faith in Him.

Now you may decide to stop reading at this point. You may think that I am failing to give you practical advice. To which I say two things:

My practical advice for HOPE is to find unconditional love, a secure identity, a purpose, a community and a confident knowledge that your future is secure.
The only way I know how to find these things is through my faith. So I ask you, what kind of person would I be if I have found HOPE and I believe it is the ONE TRUTH that is UNCHANGING, and then I chose NOT to share it with you, would I be showing my genuine care and concern for you? If I kept this to myself when I believe it is the answer, would that be right?

So I hope you will keep reading because I really do genuinely care. If you are feeling hopeless, what do you have to lose?

I am going to briefly share how my faith has provided the above 5 things for me and how it gives me HOPE. For further detail, I hope you will download our free eBook, Understanding Hope.

You are Loved

My faith gives me the hope that I am loved by God. Always and forever. And so are you.

Even when you mess up. God loves you.

He created you and wants a relationship with you. The God of the universe thinks about you personally and wants the best for you. ALWAYS.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! (Psalm 139:17-18)

And when bad things happen, that is not what He wants. He still loves you.

In this sinful world, people are going to fail you. Even those who are supposed to love you unconditionally, they are going to let you down sometimes. They aren’t perfect. And if every time a person fails you, you in turn start to wonder if you are worthy of love. You will lose hope.

That is why knowing you are loved by God is an anchor of hope! You are loved no matter what!

You have Worth

Do you find yourself tying your identity and your worth to:

What you achieve · What you look like · Who approves of you · Mistakes of your past

As a Christian, your worth and your identity are no longer defined by what the world says about you but rather by who God says you are. In the Bible He says you are:

Chosen ·Accepted ·Treasured ·Beautiful ·Protected ·Able ·Complete ·Known· Overcomer ·Masterpiece ·Rescued ·Held

Once you believe in the God of the Bible, these promises are yours to claim.

There is such hope in knowing that nothing can change who God says you are. Your identity is secure.

You have a Purpose

The whole idea that life is a vapid hole without meaning goes away when you are a Christian.

God designed you uniquely and created you in His image. He wouldn’t waste his time if you had no reason for existing.

God created you because he wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to love you, and in return, be loved by you. He is a personal God. We are here to praise Him for how great He is! To live lives that honor and glorify our Holy creator.

One way we honor and glorify God is to love others and that is our other purpose. In the Bible, God tells us that the most important things for us to do are to love God with all our hearts and love the people around us just as much as we love ourselves. Your purpose then is to:

Love God … Love yourself … Love others

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matt 22:36-39)

Your purpose is to: Love God … Love yourself … Love others. #LoveGod #LoveOthers @DawsonRadio Click To Tweet

You are Not Alone

God promises to NEVER abandon his children.

God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” (Hebrews 13:5&6)

When you take the leap of faith to believe, there will be times when God feels super close and times he feels farther away, but faith allows you to trust that God’s promises are always true. Even when you feel alone, you recognize that is just a feeling. God is still there.

Years of believing in God have proven this truth to me. There have been many times in my life where my circumstances would have made me feel hopeless and alone, but God has always been my anchor to hold onto in the storms. The knowledge that He is unchanging, unmovable, trustworthy and good allow me to have HOPE.

Knowledge God is unchanging, unmovable, trustworthy and good allow me to have #HOPE. @DawsonRadio Click To Tweet

Your Future is Amazing

Do you ever feel like you have nothing to look forward to? That the same despair you may be feeling now will always be with you?

By putting your faith and trust in Jesus Christ, your life is made new. You get a fresh start. You are forgiven, no matter what you’ve done. God will pour out mercy, peace, grace, blessings, and love on you. Your future is secure.

And once you have given your life to Christ, you can rest assured that, no matter what you face in this lifetime, you can look forward to eternal life in heaven.

And heaven…well, it’s going to be great! More beauty than we can comprehend. But even better is the pure joy we will have. There will be no more tears, no more pain, and no more death.

Is This Hope for You?

It is certainly available to you if you choose it.

If you desire this kind of hope, please download our free eBook on Understanding a Hope to learn more.

You can also visit our Get Help page to talk to someone about this.

Here’s the thing…. Christians still have problems. We still make mistakes. Bad things still happen.

Once sin came into the world, God never promised us life would be easy. However, God promises to overcome all of it, to love us always, and to never leave us.

Read this and see if you relate:

I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom.

That’s from the Bible – nothing much has changed in human feelings over thousands of years. Here is what the writer of that passage went on to say.

But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times. (Lamentations 3:19-26 MSG)

God provided hope to people then and still does today!

For more help with understanding hope and your purpose, download our free eBook!

How Can I Learn to Love Myself?

by Dawson McAllister

I want you to hear this message today.

It’s time to love yourself!

I know for SO, SO many people this is hard.

I’m overwhelmed with the number of messages I receive every week that are full of self-loathing. Here are just a few of the many received JUST. THIS. WEEK.

These messages come from all over the world…there is no country immune to this issue.

I am 13, and I want to kill myself. Nobody cares about me and I hate myself

I feel so numb all the time.

Am I worth it? does anyone truly love me ?

Life is this huge vapid hole I don’t see why my life is important.

I hate being me. I’m embarrassed that I am me and wish I could be someone else

There is no easy, one-step answer here. Deep-rooted issues often lie beneath such low self-esteem.

But we need to start somewhere, so today I want to talk about place to begin the journey towards learning to love and care for yourself. I want to talk about self-care.

But before you can even begin any steps toward self-care, you need to make a choice right now.

Are you worth it?

I can list important steps towards self-care and loving yourself, but first you need to decide that you are worth the effort. If you don’t, you will never take these steps.

The fact that you are reading this, tells me that you WANT to believe you’re worth it. So let me give you permission to believe it. YOU. ARE. WORTH. LOVING.

I’ll tell you why you are worth loving in a bit, but first let’s talk about self-care.

You need to decide that you are worth the effort of loving yourself and #selfcare. @dawsonradio Click To Tweet

What is Self-Care?

Self-care is any activity that we intentionally do in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. It’s also key to a good relationship with oneself and others. (PsychCentral.com)

A common misconception about self-care is that it is selfish or indulgent. But self-care is not about pampering yourself, going to the spa or on a shopping spree. “While self-care can include pampering yourself, it’s so much bigger. It’s so much more meaningful and important. ‘Self-care is essential to our survival,’ said Jessica Michaelson, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist and certified coach for those who want to find more joy and meaning in their lives.” (PsychCentral.com)

Self-care involves realizing and prioritizing what YOU need to do to take care of YOU. It is not selfish because, when you feel good about yourself, you will be able to give back to others and live a life of purpose. And when you live a life of purpose, you will no longer feel like life is a meaningless void where you are just taking up space. It’s a perfect circle.

Self-Care is Not One-Size-Fits-All

Self-care will look different for everyone. Taking care of yourself starts with discovering what fills your tank. What helps you refuel? And then making sure you do that.

For some that may be quiet time, while for others it may be time spent with other people. For some it may be dancing it out to your favorite song, and other people may need to watch an hour of their favorite show. What activity makes you happy?

It’s also important to note that another part of self-care may include activities that aren’t always pleasurable. It may involve making that doctors appointment you’ve been avoiding or confronting pain from your past.

Taking care of yourself starts with discovering what fills your tank. What helps you refuel? Click To Tweet

While self-care looks different for everyone, there are some universal steps to help you get started:

9 Steps to Self-Care

Identify what activity makes you feel good and do it!

No excuses here. Everybody has something they enjoy doing that makes them feel good. Take a walk, bake a cake, draw/color, roller skate, talk with your grandma. I don’t care what it is. Every week you must do this thing that rejuvenates you.

Add it to your schedule.

You need to actively plan to set aside time to do this activity and stick to it. You are worth it.

Just Start.

Maybe the first week you don’t give yourself even an hour for your activity. But do something. If your activity is to walk and you only get a five-minute walk in, feel good about accomplishing that and try for more next week.

Take care of yourself physically.

Sleep – most adults need 7 to 8 hours a night.
Eat well – A healthy diet fuels natural energy and boosts our self-esteem and confidence.
Exercise – It is as good for our emotional health as our physical health because of the endorphins released. However, in keeping with the self-care principal choose an exercise you like.
Maintain good hygiene – You’ll just feel better about yourself.

Give up what drains you.

Are there relationships that zap your energy? Give yourself some distance. Are you constantly connected to your phone…checking e-mails, texts, snap chat, social media? Set your device aside for an hour. Are there certain events you hate attending? Stop going. Your time, energy, and emotional well-being are valuable and should be used with intention. When you establish boundaries, you reinforce healthy self-esteem.

Choose who you spend time with.

Look for people who are upbeat, positive, and enjoy life. Get rid of toxic relationships. It is also good to have people in your life who have perhaps faced similar struggles as you and can relate. Support groups can be very helpful.

Celebrate Recovery is a partner organization of ours that offers support to anyone struggling with hurt, pain or addiction of any kind. They are a safe place to find community and freedom from the issues that are controlling your life. You can find a group in your community here: Celebrate Recovery Group Finder

Stop Overthinking

If you start to over-think, haul out a journal and write your thoughts down. Acknowledge what is on your mind. Now that they are written down and your thoughts are captured, you don’t need to dwell on them anymore.

Realize Self-care is non-negotiable.

Have the attitude that self-care is a necessity and don’t give it up. It can be easy to put it off or make up reasons you just can’t, but YOU can!

Why is Self-Care So Hard for us to do?

According to Jessica Michaelson, Psy.D, many of us don’t know how to practice self-care because “we weren’t taught to pay attention to our inner states — or to trust them. ‘Instead, we are taught what we’re ‘supposed’ to think and feel, and try to ignore feelings that we think we ‘shouldn’t’ feel.’

Consider a newborn who cries when they’re hungry. That is an example of self-care, Michaelson said. ‘That is sensing your inner state, and taking action to get your needs met.’ Because when we ignore our needs, over time, we become sick, unhappy and overwhelmed, she said.

Maybe you’re anxious about a certain situation. But you’re ashamed about your nervous feelings, so you pretend they don’t exist. Maybe you’re really upset about something. But you think you should be happy, so you stuff down your sadness. Maybe you really need 9 hours of sleep. But you believe you should be able to function just fine on 6 hours—so that’s what you try to do. Maybe your entire body is saying no to a commitment. But you don’t want to seem rude or impolite, so you say yes.” (Psychcentral.com)

If you never make an effort to do something about the fact that you don’t like the way you are feeling, or take the time to examine why you are feeling that way and consider what you can do to feel better, your emotions will catch up to you and you will start to feel hopeless.

This reminds me of this famous quote:

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” – Henry Ford

But there is always HOPE.

I told you I would get back to answering the question of why you are worth loving. Here’s what I know.

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” - Henry Ford Click To Tweet

Why you are worth loving.

Unfortunately, in this selfish, sinful world people will never love us perfectly. Even those who truly love us will let us down at some point. Perhaps you have been let down by someone who was supposed to love you. We are all human and will make mistakes in our relationships. If we put our hope in people, we will be disappointed.

In the Bible it says: “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:21-23

Even when people turn their back on you, God still loves you NO MATTER WHAT. He cares so much for you, he even knows how many hairs you have on your head. He desires to have you know him and to have a relationship with you.

When you know how God feels about you and what God says about you, the world no longer has the power to define you.

Do you have any idea who you truly are? Are you searching for “the real you”? Get this:

You are created in the image of God. You are not random cells thrown together. God designed you to be like Him. He didn’t make a mistake when He created you. You are amazing just the way you are.

The Bible says, “Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:26-27)

Stop believing all the lies. Identify yourself as a child of God, created in HIS image. Click To TweetHow can someone created in the image of God be worthless?

Your identity is no longer tied to:

What you achieve · What you look like · Who approves of you · Mistakes of your past

Your worth is defined by who God says you are:

Chosen ·Accepted ·Treasured ·Beautiful ·Protected ·Able ·Complete ·Known·Overcomer ·Masterpiece ·Rescued ·Held

Want to read more about what God says about you?

Verses of Hope

In conclusion…

How do I learn to love myself?

Start with these three things:

Decide you are worth taking care of.
Practice Self-Care
Learn to see yourself as God sees you.

For more on learning to love yourself download our free eBook on Understanding Self-Worth.

Dawson McAllister Live On-Line

by Dawson McAllister

A Show for You No Matter What You’re Going Through

I have been a radio host for a live, call-in radio show for over 25 years. It is something I absolutely love to do and am incredibly passionate about!

The thing about live radio is you never know exactly what you are going to get or how it’s going to turn out. It’s exciting!

But more than that, I love talking to YOU. I love giving people a little bit of hope in their struggle. It’s not easy to hear the hurt and despair that people are facing. Often my heart out-right breaks for my callers because God has given me a love for every person I talk to. But I am so blessed to be able to help them think more clearly and point them in a healthy direction.

As I was able to do here with Aubry:

Aubrey - 16 - Boyfriend cheated and she started cutting

It is an honor to help people discover the truth about their struggle and give them guidance.

Moving to On-Line Radio

After 25 years of traditional radio, we have now moved the show entirely on-line, right here. We are live Sunday nights at 7pm CT.

The format of the show continues to be the same…real people talking about real problems. It’s heartfelt, sometimes raw, and often inspiring.

I hope you’ll tune in and maybe even give me a call. You can call me at 1-800-394-4673.

A lot of people ask me…how did you get started in radio?

A Passion to Help the Hurting

I began my career as a youth speaker. In the 1980’s I would host arena-sized youth conferences across the country reaching millions of students. In each city, I encountered people who were in serious crisis. They shared stories of abuse, rape, cutting, addictions, eating disorder, suicidal thoughts and more. They were desperate to be rescued. At one point students started bringing notes to the front of the stage and laying them at my feet…notes filled with pain and despair. They were prisoners of self-condemnation and shame.

What was I supposed to do with all this pain?

I was visiting about 25 cities a year and I was burdened by the fact that we blew in, we blew up and we blew out. I was also acutely aware that I was reaching just a small portion of students across the country. There must be so many more who were deeply broken. How could we reach more? Was there a way to talk to them one-on-one? How could we have more of a sustained impact?

Getting Started in Radio

Then God opened a door. I was approached by a super-power Christian radio station out of Minneapolis, MN. They made a proposal. If they provided the air-time and technical know-how, would I host a weekly call-in show for teenagers and young adults? This was the answer to my heart’s desire to reach more young people for a longer period of time. Now I could be in their homes or cars every week.

In January of 1991 we launched Dawson McAllister Live. A call-in talk radio show for teenagers was a radical idea at the time, but it began to work almost instantly. Stations were being added quickly and more and more teenagers and young adults were calling in every week. Eventually the show was heard on 250 stations across the country.

So you see, I didn’t set out to be a radio host. I set out to follow God’s call on my life to help young people in trouble and in following that call, God led me to radio.

Then in 2005, this calling led me to another radio endeavor. I was still burdened to reach more people, and I began dreaming of taking my show to Top 40 radio stations, knowing that was where I could reach even more young adults. Again doors were opened, and Dawson McAllister Live signed on with its first affiliate station; KJYO in Oklahoma City. Eventually more than 140 stations would air the show with a weekly audience of over 1 million listeners.

Why People Listen

The show has been blessed with a great response from listeners over the years. We always had more calls than we could answer and the reviews were great. In reflecting on why the show resonates with so many people, I have a few ideas.

Realized They Aren’t Alone

For the first time, people heard other people talking about the same kind of struggles they were facing and realized they weren’t alone. I often hear from people who say they never called into the show personally but took the advice I gave on the radio for themselves, and it made all the difference. Like this caller who said she would hear me giving advice to other people and could relate to it and it was like I was talking to her directly. Take a listen.

Listening to Your Show Made All the Difference

Genuine Care

Another reason I’ve been able to connect with so many people is they know I honestly care about them. As I mentioned before, God gives me a love for each caller and it’s genuine. If you are faking your concern for someone, they’ll know. They can spot a fake a mile away. But people can sense my authenticity…my heart-felt desire for them to really get out of the mess they are in and get help. And because of that I am able to earn their trust. They open up to me on national radio with stuff they have never told anyone before.

The Truth is Told

Finally – I’m not afraid to cut straight to the issue and be very direct. Live radio doesn’t allow me time to step lightly around the subject. I have to get to the heart of the problem quickly and be as honest as I can. People respect that. In fact, they expect it. I don’t try to cover anything over with pretty platitudes. I call it like it is. Often for the first time, someone cared enough for them to speak the truth, and the truth is a powerful tool.

Radio Moments that Moved Me

Knowing that God has used me all these years to impact the lives of so many listeners is humbling. Every time I hear a story of how someone’s life was touched by something I said, I am so thankful God called me to this work. A few weeks ago during my on-line show, I shared with my co-host, Rachel Cardinal, some of my most memorable moments. I hope you will find them encouraging as well.

SHOW REFLECTIONS

Please tune in live on-line…Sunday nights at 7pm. Remember, its’ a show for you, no matter what you are going through.

Love,

Dawson

Finding Purpose, A Cheating Boyfriend, and Jealousy: EP 12

The Hard Times Were the Best Times Because…

In This Episode:

Looking for Purpose

Luke was kicked out and has been living in his car for 2 weeks. He just found a friend to stay with and is looking for a job but things are not going his way yet. He’s determined not to quit trying. In the midst of all his struggles, he’s looking for his purpose.
Sometimes hard times force us to look for answers to life’s questions; such as: Why am I alive? What is the purpose of my being here? Luke is searching for the answers to those hard questions.

Played by Her Boyfriend

Nakita’s boyfriend played her pretty hard. She stood by his side, loved him and supported him. Instead of being faithful to her and treating her well, he lied to her and cheated on her. Now, the girl he cheated with, is pregnant. Nakita is having a hard time letting go of him but the truth is, there are no roads which lead back to him.

Jealousy Is Tearing Her Apart

What do you do when a friend shines brighter than you? Renee’s friend is getting all the attention and Renee is jealous of her. Renee says jealousy is ruining her life. The truth is, if we compare ourselves to others, it can cause us to have a jealous spirit. Renee doesn’t need to compare herself to her friend. Her friend may be beautiful and get lots of attention but Renee has been made in God’s image and has her own great qualities, especially in the eyes of God.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Most people’s problems are so deep and complicated, they are not solved on their own. I give advice which can help but Luke, Nakita, and Renee need to take the next right step. It’s not going to be easy but that’s why we have a lot of resources to help them and you, if you are facing your own struggles.

Resources to help you with finding purpose and relationship struggles:

Take a look at my eBooks: Understanding a Relationship with God, Understanding Cheating, and Understanding Self-Worth.
Check out my blogs: How to Spot a Toxic Friend, Your BF/GF is Cheating on You, Now What, and Versus of Hope for Relationships, Sex, and Cheating.
To learn more about having a meaningful relationship with God, check out my podcast episode 9: Find Hope and Peace Through a Relationship with God. I talked to a guy named Ronnie. The call was amazing, it really spoke to me. I think you’ll like it a lot. It just might be the most important podcast you’ll ever listen to.
Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to the ThePrayerZone.com and check it out.
Need to talk about your issues? Sign up for an Email Mentor, an online coach who will email you and come along beside you to offer support.

Would you consider doing something for me?

If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Join me in my next episode where I talk with Calvin, Erin, and Chris, who are all dealing with parents against their relationships. Calvin’s girlfriend’s dad hates him. Erin’s mom is not happy about her dating an older guy, and Chris’ parents don’t like that he is back with his ex. My goal is to offer them insights which could help them and hopefully help you as well.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
Dawson

My Hero – Billy Graham

by Dawson McAllister

God used Billy Graham to change my life. As I reflect back, Billy Graham was one of the top 5 people that had a dramatic influence over me.

This man inspired me greatly. He was a shining example of someone who dedicated his life to reaching people who were searching for real and lasting hope.

In many ways, he motivated me to spend my whole life reaching out to hurting teenagers and young adults.

I had the distinct privilege of meeting Billy Graham on a couple of occasions. One time when I was very young and another when I was starting my own ministry.

Last week at the age of 99 Billy Graham passed on to heaven. He is famously quoted throughout his life as saying, “My home is in heaven. I’m just passing through this world.” So we rejoice that he is now home with Jesus. As Billy Graham is laid to rest, I pause to reflect on my great memories of meeting my hero.

But first, let us remember who Billy Graham is…

Billy Graham’s Message

Billy Graham was a very influential evangelist and preacher in America. He held large indoor and outdoor rallies calling people to a relationship with Jesus Christ. His sermons were broadcast nationally on radio and television, beginning in the 1940’s until 2005 when he retired. He preached to live audiences of over 210 million people in more than 185 countries.

“Billy Graham pursued a singular vision—to share the love of Jesus Christ with all who would listen. In doing so he has met with Presidents, kings, queens, celebrities, and everyday men, women, and children. No matter his audience, the message is still the same. “Everywhere I go I find that people … both leaders and individuals … are asking one basic question,” Billy Graham has said. “‘Is there any hope for the future?’ My answer is the same, ‘Yes, through Jesus Christ.’” Billy Graham Library

Billy Graham’s message never changed. It is a simple message, but one that comes straight from God’s Word. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). A message of God’s love, God’s forgiveness, and God’s salvation through Jesus Christ.

To learn more about his message watch this: A Tribute to Billy Graham

My Personal Memories of Meeting Billy Graham

The first time I had an encounter with Billy Graham, I was but 10 years old and our whole family attended one of his crusades in a stadium in Minneapolis.

Once the crusade was over, he stepped off the stage and was heading for the exit. Several hundred people and I had the same idea, to shake Billy Graham’s hand. When I got within a few feet of him, people were surrounding him, wanting an autograph or to have Billy pray for them. I just wanted a handshake, so I finally grabbed Billy’s hand even as the crowd continued to grow. He drug me several feet before I let go. I’ll never forget that day, the day Billy Graham sort of shook my hand.

On Stage with Billy Graham

Years later, I was working in youth ministry in Southern California and Billy Graham was coming to town. I worked hard to spread the word about the Billy Graham crusade, encouraging teenagers and young adults to attend. I was invited to sit on the stage during the event. Before it began, Billy came over to me, reached out his hand for a handshake and thanked me for all the work I had done for teenagers. I was blown away by this meeting. He was a shy man with intense humble eyes.

I was sitting no more than 10 feet from Dr. Graham as he preached, right next to one of his personal aids. During his rally, the aid leaned over and said, “Did you know that Dr. Graham stepped on a bar of soap this afternoon and cracked 3 ribs?” He went on to say, “Billy is wearing a bullet proof vest and is in much pain.” I watched him as he preached. You could tell he was hurting, but he made it through the sermon. When the alter call started, thousands of people walked to the stage to accept Jesus Christ as Lord of their life. I thought, “What a man, preaching in pain and look at the results.” It was a once in a lifetime experience I will never forget.

Our friend and recording artist, Lacey Sturm, shares her tribute to Billy Graham in this video. His message touched so many!

Lacey Sturm: “We’re Still Here” To Continue Billy Graham’s Message.

Billy Graham…What a man! What a ministry!

If you are interested in learning more about where Billy Graham, Lacey Sturm and I all find our hope. Please download this free eBook Understanding a Relationship with God.

What To Do When We’re Mad At God

by Dawson McAllister

Are You Mad At God?

I’ve got to believe at some point in your life, you’ve raised your fist and shouted out in anger at God. Most of us have done it.

Maybe your parent died, or you had a friend get seriously sick, or even killed. Maybe you have cancer, or some kind of handicap. These and other serious issues enter our lives, making it easy to target God for our pain.

Someone described anger this way: Anger is a human emotional response to situations that are either out of our control or out of our ability to understand, or both.

Have you ever wondered why we get so angry at God? That’s what I want to talk about, because I can assure you that while God allows us to cry out to Him, He doesn’t want us stuck in rage towards Him.

What are some of reasons why we get mad at God?

The main reason we get so upset with God is because we think He owes us something. This usually happens in two ways:

1) We don’t get something we want.

Have you ever really wanted a relationship with that perfect girl or guy? Or you really wanted that job you knew for certain would be perfect for you? When these things didn’t work out, you no doubt found yourself hurt and disappointed. Our first impulse is almost always to blame God.

Daphne wrote: When we get mad at God it is really like a 2-year-old throwing a fit because Mommy or Daddy won’t let them stick their finger in the light socket. The 2-year-old can only see what he/she wants, the parent sees the bigger picture, and the danger. When we are mad at God we show our immaturity, ignorance, and our shortsightedness.

2) We get something we DON’T expect.

When something bad happens to someone we love, or to us, or someone gets really sick, or even dies we wonder why these things have to happen. We think of God as a big genie in the sky who should only give us good things and prevent the bad.

I received a comment from someone who said: Some people wonder why their lives end up being a certain way, and they blame God for it, because if God really cared for them, then He wouldn’t let them suffer.

For more on reconciling the goodness of God and bad things in the world read these blogs from organizations we partner with:

Where is God in the midst of tragedy?

How Can God Allow So Much Evil and Suffering?

We think, “If God is so loving, why am I in so much pain? Is He punishing me for no reason by allowing horrible things to happen to me, or the people I love, or even the world?”

We think God owes us something.

Both of these situations can make a person feel like God doesn’t care about us. After all the prayers we’ve prayed, God still didn’t heal your brother’s cancer, or get you the job you wanted.

Joe wrote:I have to admit that I am angry at God. The more I have prayed for help and guidance, the more I get nothing. He is ignoring me. It’s His right to do with me what He will, but I am frustrated because I have done what I think I am supposed to do and yet no response, no help.

We get angry when we think God owes us something. When in fact, God owes us nothing.

We get angry when we think God owes us something. When in fact, God owes us nothing. #madatGod Click To Tweet

A couple other reasons:

We get angry with God when we don’t know all the facts. It’s so easy to think we know everything, but we can only see a very small part of the picture.
We get angry at God when we see others claim to know Him, and then act like hypocrites. It’s easy to blame God for the faults of others.

These are just a few reasons why people get angry with God. Of course, there are many more.

How to get over being mad at God – Know what you can expect from Him.

If we think God is going to be our genie in a bottle, and make everything good in our lives, we’re going to be mad at God when something bad happens. Having faith in God is not insurance against hardships.

In the Bible Jesus says- “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

So what can we expect from God?

His Peace – If we trust in Him and believe in Him we will have peace even in the hard times. Do you want to know how to find this peace? Begin Your Journey To Peace with this great resource from Peace With God.
God Wins in the End – This world is full of sin, hate and death and that comes from the enemy, Satan, not from God. However, for all those who believe in Jesus there is glorious, eternal life in heaven.
His Comfort – He promises to be near those who are hurting. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
His love – He promises His love for us. “God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16) He loves your heart and is with you in the midst of whatever your circumstances.
Life with greater meaning and significance – If we got everything we thought we wanted, we’d be spoiled and selfish. God is a wise father who knows what we need to become the best men and women we can be.

Having faith in God is not insurance against hardships. #madatGod Click To Tweet

What can you do when you are mad at God?

1) Tell him how you feel.

The best thing you can do is tell God what you’re angry about. He wants to hear from you about what you’re thinking and feeling. Tell God honestly where you are at. God knows what’s going on inside of you, but He wants to you be able to come to Him with honesty and openness.

2) Place the blame for evil on Satan not on God.

God is good and Holy and perfect and loving. He is the opposite of evil. You may be mad at God because he didn’t prevent the bad from happening to you, but he is not to blame for the bad thing, Satan is. Jesus says in the Bible “The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.” (John 10:10)

3) Pray for courage, strength and peace to make it through the day.

Betsy wrote: I find it easiest to leave everything in God’s hands and pray that he will care for me and do what’s BEST for me, not what I want, but what is best. It’s very hard, and I have trouble with that at times, but that is my overall goal.

4) Trust that God will use a hardship for something beyond what you can see.

So can God use for everything we go through for a greater purpose? I believe He can. Ask God for understanding to see the bigger picture. Over time, you may see more clearly a how God used your trial for good.

Jill wrote honestly: I feel like I have a daily tug of war with God. I know everything happens for a reason, but when you’re lonely, broke, bored, and feel helpless, it is really hard to say, okay God, I know you’re doing this for a reason.

Betsy echoed Jill’s thoughts: After many trials I learned that it is best to accept what God has done and believe that it is for my good, whether I like it or not.

Believing He does have a reason for everything we go through helps us to trust that something bigger is going on here, even more than we can probably understand. But I’m not God, He is. And I’m just going to trust that He knows what’s going on with me.

5) Get involved in other people’s lives.

A lot of our anger and frustration in life comes from thinking about ourselves too much – we think about the way things are and how different they are from how we wish they’d be.

Yevgenia wrote: One of the best things I have learned while going through this is God won’t put you through something unless he knows you will be able to overcome it. Another way I have used these things in a positive way is by using my experiences to help others who are going through similar things in their lives.

The best way to find joy and peace from the hardships of life is to get involved in other people’s lives. Take an interest in other people and their circumstances. Share in their joy and their pain.

6) Decide to have a relationship with God.

The Bible says the only way to know God is by knowing His son, Jesus. Jesus was basically God with skin-on and gave us a way to know who He is, His love, and how be in relationship with Him.

The Bible says the only way to know God is by knowing His son, Jesus. #madatGod Click To Tweet

Lucas wrote: Sometimes only God will know why He has allowed a trial and sometimes He will reveal its purpose to us. Sometimes it’s because He is preparing us for a greater thing. Sometimes it is to show to us how little we truly love Him, and to allow us to change. Trials give us an opportunity to build our faith in a way nothing else can.

How have you dealt with your own personal anger toward God? I’d love to hear from you. Please let me know how you got over being upset with God.

Do you have questions about who God is? Check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God.

Ronnie’s Life Changing Decision: EP 9

Is Your Life a Mess?

Find Hope and Peace Through a Relationship with God.

In This Episode:

Some of our problems are so great, only God can solve them. He is the only one who has the power to rescue us and transform our lives. In this episode, I have a heart to heart talk with Ronnie who’s been hooked on meth and needs something in his life to change or he’s not going to make it.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Are you at a place in your life where your problems seem unsolvable, or where you really need something to change? If you are desperate for something more, or if you need purpose and answers for your life, this is the podcast for you. Real and lasting hope can only come through a relationship with Jesus. When we reach out to God, that’s when he rescues us.

Resources for help with making a life changing decision:

Take a look at my blogs: To Those Who Feel Worthless, What Does God Say About Who We Are, ‘Identity’: A Chat with Christian Recording Artist Colton Dixon, and 7 Things I Learned About Prayer.
Are you wondering what life’s purpose is? Download the free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God and the Basics of Christianity
Need to talk about your issues? Sign up for an Email Mentor
Need prayer? We have people that will pray for you at ThePrayerZone

Would you consider doing something for me?

If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

The next episode is where we will go in-depth into Casey, Mackenzie, and Corey’s struggles. Casey’s baby is in the hospital and she’s struggling with addiction, Mackenzie has an eating disorder and Corey’s home life is a mess. My goal is to offer insights to them which could change their lives and hopefully, yours as well.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
Dawson

Inspiring Stories of Everyday Kindness

by Dawson McAllister

Making Kindness the Norm

I imagine you have heard the term Random Acts of Kindness (RAK), but did you know that every February there is a week dedicated to RAK? I think this is awesome because anything that promotes showing kindness to others is a win in my book. In my blog, The Kindness Experiment, I talk about how I believe showing kindness truly could change the world. Today I share stories of kindness shown in normal everyday life.

In an effort to help us all make kindness the norm and not the exception, I hope to inspire you today with 25 real-life stories of random acts of kindness. I hope this list encourages you to notice those around you and become aware of how you can bring sunshine to someone’s life.

Interesting side-note before we begin:

I asked my staff to share with me their personal stories of kindness and also asked this question, “What is the nicest thing someone ever did for you?” on social media. The list below is a compilation of the TRUE LIFE stories I received. As people thought of stories to share, they mentioned that they were surprised how these times when kindness was both shown to them and by them stuck out in their memories. I imagine this is true for two reasons. First – Kindness carries that much impact. Second – It is not the norm.

25 real-life stories of random acts of #kindness from TheHopeLine staff and you! #RAK Click To Tweet

Now here we go!

Random Acts of Kindness – Inspirational Stories

We can show kindness anywhere and anytime. Don’t miss the chance to seize the opportunity wherever you are!

Ideas for Showing Kindness at a Store:

I was walking through Target and my two-year old was throwing a tantrum and another woman walked past me, smiled and said “Don’t worry. You’re a great mom.” Just the encouragement I needed.
An elderly gentleman was attempting to carry six Styrofoam coolers to his car on a windy day. As I watched, they all started to blow across the parking lot. Together we began chasing coolers, laughing at ourselves and somehow managed to get them all into his car.
I overheard a woman that was crying and upset as I was shopping for purses in a TJ Maxx. She was talking on the phone about getting fired from a restaurant due to a misunderstanding about missing money. She had walked to the TJ Maxx and didn’t have gas in her car to get home or any money for the week. I felt the Lord tugging on my heart. He told me not to judge her, not worry about why she was fired or what she would do with the money. He said help her. After her phone conversation was over I walked up to her, hugged her and gave her the $40 cash that was in my purse. I told her I would pray for her and that God loved her. She lit up and couldn’t believe it! She was so thankful that someone cared.
It was my daughter’s 1st birthday and I went to purchase a birthday cookie and cupcakes. I was so embarrassed when my debit card was declined, that I just left the store. As I was getting into my car, a gentleman who was behind me in line came out and gave me the cookie and cupcakes and said it was on him. I cried and hugged him. How do you thank someone enough?
I was checking out at Wal-Mart and the cashier had the most beautiful color of vibrant pink dyed hair that I had ever seen. So I told her I loved her hair color. She went from a blank look as she scanned my groceries to an engaging smile as we proceeded to talk about how she was able to achieve that color.
We were going in to Kroger Marketplace one day and saw gentlemen riding in one of the electric chairs the store provides. It was raining and he had a basket full of groceries. I felt this need to help him. So I went over and asked if he wanted help putting his groceries in his car. He happily agreed. I noticed he had a Korean War Veteran hat on so when he asked if I would take $5 for my help, I told him no, his service was thanks enough. He was surprised. I told him to have a good day and took the electric chair back inside.
On a day that I was really low on cash and ran into two of my friends at the store. I didn’t tell them I was having financial problems, but had only $100 for the whole month. I filled my cart and prayed the entire time I was shopping. As I was checking out, I ran into them again and they paid for my whole cart of food. They said they both heard God tell them to pay for it for me!
I am a cashier at Walmart. I had a gentleman come in, and he told me that he had to pay a large sum of money for some sort of unexpected life event. He looked like he was lacking a few days of sleep, and was stressed. With the little money he had left over he planned to buy a DVD player. When he went to pay for it, it was 58 dollars. He only had $38. He looked disappointed. I went around the counter to where he was, and paid off what else he owed on the DVD player. He had tears to his eyes and thanked me for my act of kindness. That was the best moment of my career at Walmart.

You can show #kindness anywhere and anytime. Don't miss the chance to seize the opportunity! #RAK Click To Tweet

How to show Kindness at a Restaurant:

During my college years, I worked as a waitress and one night I spilled an entire pitcher of ice water on a lady in my booth. I was mortified and did my best to help her dry off. I couldn’t stop apologizing. She was very gracious and kept telling me, “It’s O.K. sweetie.” At the end of the night, I went to clear off her table. She had left me a note on the back of her ticket that said, “You did a great job. Remember God Loves You.” Along with my biggest tip of the night!
I was finishing my internship at Walt Disney World so my mom flew down to spend a few days with me before we had to pack my things and fly back. We had a reservation at one of the park restaurants, and as we were seated, we began talking to this family at the table next to us. They were extremely nice and asked all kinds of questions about my internship. They were finishing up so our conversation was a brief five minutes. Mom and I had a nice dinner, and when we requested the bill, our server informed us that the family next to us payed for our entire bill. My mom, bless her heart, broke down with tears of happiness, and I shed a few myself. I will never ever forget that moment. (Facebook)
My granddaughter (10 years old) and I were Christmas shopping and stopped at the Mall’s food court for a quick lunch. We wanted different things so she when to get Pizza. She struck up a conversation with the woman in front of her. When she got to the front of the line the woman had paid for her food. My granddaughter was amazed and tried to insist that she pay for her own. The woman simply told her to study hard and pass it on when she got the opportunity.
A friend of mine and I went to lunch together and we could see our waitress was struggling. So we asked how she was doing. She said she was fine at first, but after some persuasion, she told us she was a single mom and didn’t have the money to cover her electric bill due that day. We asked how much she owed. We relayed our sympathies to her and went back to eating lunch. However, we both felt God tugging at our hearts to help her. I left the restaurant to go get cash and my friend spoke to the manager. The manager said she was a hard-working, honest person and he would allow her to take a break so she could go and pay her electric bill. When we gave her the money, her face was priceless. She told us how grateful she was as tears welled up in her eyes.

The Kindness Experiment

How to be kind at an airport:

A friend was walking through the airport with her 2-year-old and 3 month old, carrying a car seat and diaper bag and she was struggling to make her way to the baggage claim without losing her 2-year-old. No one paid her any attention. Finally – as she was nearing the baggage claim another lady offered to carry her car seat so she could hold her two-year old’s hand and it made all the difference.
Read Houston’s story – Would you stop to comfort a lady sobbing in the airport? Houston’s Story
One time on a very long flight from the states to Russia, I was assigned a seat next to a Russian young woman and her small child. It was a long flight and the child sat quietly for a while but then got bored and started trying to get out of his seat. His mom was calm, but you could see she was getting worn out trying to keep him entertained. Even though we couldn’t speak the same language, I started playing games with him. We drew pictures in my notebook. We had a lot of fun and before I knew it, we arrived. His mom gave me the biggest hug and I could see the gratefulness in her eyes

Examples of Kindness to students

During my senior year of high school, I had a part-time job but didn’t have much money for extras. I really wanted a yearbook but they were $50 and I just couldn’t afford it. The day came when yearbooks were being passed out. I had my little notebook of blank paper so I still get everyone’s signatures. When I heard my name called to go and pick up a yearbook, I just knew it had to be a mistake but I went ahead to check it out. The lady handing them out said with a smile, “Here’s your yearbook, someone anonymously paid for you.” I was blown away. Still to this day, I don’t know who paid for it.
As a sophomore, Sabrina Ma started an Acts of Random Kindness Club at her school as a way to deal with her own internal strife and help others – Acts of Random Kindness Club
When my parents were going through a divorce in middle school, my 7th grade teacher didn’t make a fuss when I misplaced a HUGE homework packet. She whispered to me later that she believed I did it and gave me an A. I wanted to fall apart every day during middle school, but she was a huge light in those dark times.
At the end of a year in college, I had just enough money for gas to get me back home for the summer. The air conditioner in my car wasn’t working and since it was the end of May and I had a long trip home, I asked a mechanic to check it out. He couldn’t fix the air conditioner in time, but when he brought the car back to me, he had filled the car with gas and left $7 stuck on the steering column. Not only was it a random act of kindness to me, but another assurance that God loving provides for His children.
Read Rachel’s story of the incredible impact just saying “hi” can have. Just Say “Hi”

I believe showing #kindness truly could change the world. #RAK @DawsonRadio Click To Tweet

Showing Kindness in Your Community & Neighborhood

There is town in frigid South Dakota where residents put stocking caps on all the statues in town with the known purpose that the homeless can help themselves to a hat.
My neighbor was fighting breast cancer and I saw this super-soft, long-sleeved t-shirt on-line that said “It is Well With My Soul.” I knew that quote meant a lot to her, so I ordered it and dropped it off one day with a book of prayer.
The nicest thing anyone has done for me was when a new neighbor, to whom I had been ministering, told me that she could see Jesus in me, because no one had ever shown her love the way I had shown it!
One evening as my daughter and I were leaving our church a family pulled into the parking lot in their station wagon. They were hoping to get a hot shower at the church before heading on to Indiana. As we talked, the lady shared that her husband had been laid off for some time. I could see that she was weary and losing hope. They were trying to make it to Indiana as her husband had a job waiting for him, but the trip had cost them more money than they expected. She asked if we could help her with gas. I rarely carry cash, but I had stopped at the ATM on my way. This encounter was not random. I believe our heavenly Father allowed an opportunity to bless us both with an act of kindness.
At a Christian women’s conference that I was attending with my mom and sister, I saw a lady walk in by herself. She looked lost as she scanned the crowd for a place to sit. I felt God prompting me to go and invite her to sit by us. She immediately gave me a hug and said I was an answer to prayer. Her neighbor was supposed to attend the conference with her, but had backed out at the last minute. She almost didn’t come because going alone felt lonely. However, she found the courage to attend the event by herself. Her husband had passed away and she knew she would find encouragement and comfort if she went.
I was driving home from college in a heavy rain one dark spring night in the pre-cellphone era. Suddenly, I had a flat tire about three miles from the small town where my parents lived. Sadly, I hadn’t paid attention during the tire-changing demonstration in drivers education class, so I was essentially helpless. However, just as I parked on the shoulder of the county road, I saw headlights behind me. It was a young man, accompanied by his wife. He got out and asked if I needed help, which was an understatement. He got plenty muddy and soaking wet over the next fifteen minutes as he put on my spare, while I stood there twiddling my thumbs. Then the young husband quietly returned to their car and waited until I drove off.
I was losing my hearing and was struggling to do my job as a teacher/trainer. I began to withdraw due to my loss of hearing. So I made an appointment with company that would allow me to borrow a pair of hearing aids. They made such a difference and I wanted to purchase them, but they were very expensive. Unbelievably, two friends told me they would cover the total cost. My life has been radically changed due to this gift of hearing via hearing aids.

Are you inspired yet? I hope so! Please inspire others by commenting below – let us know how someone has shared kindness with you when you weren’t expecting it or how you showed kindness to someone else.

Just Breathe [Video]

Resting in God’s Peace

Listen to this song by Jonny Diaz and remember to just breathe. Life can be so stressful, especially if you are struggling with anxiety, depression, loneliness, anger, abuse, addiction or any other tough issue that we hear about everyday on TheHopeLine. Sometimes it is important to remind ourselves to “Just Breathe”. Find hope for stress and anxiety at the feet of Jesus. God is inviting you to come and rest and just “be”. When chaos is calling, turn to God and His peace will overcome.

Never Once Have You Ever Walked Alone [Video]

Never Once by Matt Redman

Whatever struggles we are facing …depression, anxiety, cutting, relationship issues, self-esteem, addictions, etc., can often leave us feeling as if we are very much alone. But God promises that He will never abandon us. He will never leave us on our own.

For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” Hebrews 13:5

In this music video, Matt Redman, sings of God’s promise. “Never once did we ever walk alone. Never once did you leave us on our own. You are faithful. God you are faithful.”

All you need to do is call out to God. Pray to Him. Trust and believe that He is with you.

This is where we find our hope. [Read more…] about Never Once Have You Ever Walked Alone [Video]

You Are Free: Be Who You Already Are

We were not made to keep up, we were made to be free.

Rebekah Lyons wrote this book from her own experiences. She gives honest insight into her life’s challenges; discussing her fears, insecurities, and her constant striving to be accepted and loved by everyone.

We think we need to act like everyone else.

We think we need to look like everyone else.

And we think we need to be liked by everyone else.

Rebekah learned early in her childhood that she wanted to be liked, accepted and so she earned love by working hard to fit in. Her worth became tied to her accomplishments.

She explains that when our worth is tied to what we do then we start to believe we are not worthy of love unless we earn it. What she has learned in this journey we call life and her message to others is: We were not made to keep up, we were made to be free. Our worth is enough, not because of what we do but because of who we are.

Then we asked Rebekah, “How did you get to that point of feeling free?”

Rebekah talks about her broken heart from rejection and discusses how God told her, public affection will never heal private rejection. And her prayer became: “God, heal my broken heart.”

It’s not what you do, it’s who you are. @rebekahlyons Click To Tweet

God Rescued Her

When Rebekah moved to Manhattan, 7 years ago, she started experiencing anxiety and began having panic attacks. She tells us how the anxiety affected her and how she dealt with the panic attacks:

Talking-about-anxiety-and-panic-attacks

God says, perfect love casts out fear and He has not given us a spirit of fear. @rebekahlyons Click To Tweet

Rebekah had a moment where she was on the beach by herself, dancing in the wind and she describes it in the book: “I felt a glimpse of the freedom God longed for me to live into, a reckless abandon blooming into unencumbered joy.” We asked Rebekah if she thought it was possible for everyone to feel that reckless abandonment and unencumbered joy? Here’s what she said:

Joy is not the absence of darkness but confidence that the darkness will lift. @rebekahlyons Click To Tweet

Rebekah had many people say to her, “You’re writing my story.” Rebekah says it’s not just her story of struggles but it’s God’s story of rescue.

How to Deal with Anxiety, You Can’t Just Toughen Up

Tania’s Story: Not Believing in Myself

In the book, You Are Free, Rebekah Lyons invites you to:

Overcome the exhaustion of trying to meet the expectations of others and rest in the joy God’s freedom brings.
Release stress, anxiety and worry, to uncover the peace that comes from abiding in His presence.
Find permission to grieve past experiences, confess areas of brokenness, and receive strength in your journey towards healing.
Throw off self-condemnation, burn superficial masks and step boldly into what our good God has for you.
Discover the courage to begin again and use your newfound freedom to set others free.

The Kindness Experiment

The world is FULL of hurting people

Could showing kindness make an impact?

Every day on TheHopeLine, people respond to us, telling us about their burdens, sharing their depression, and expressing feelings of brokenness and deep loneliness. What can we do to impact their lives? I believe that a little kindness could go a long way because showing kindness gives others value.

The world is FULL of hurting people...Could showing kindness make an impact? @dawsonradio #kindness Click To Tweet

Here’s a glimpse at some of the comments we receive:

“I am bullied by my friends. They start teasing me spread fake things about me. My other classmates have good friends except me.” Amaya

“I remember from young on I was always obsessed with love. It was what I wanted more than anything in the world. I even subjected myself to a lot of bad treatment just to feel love. I’ve been used, abused, and mistreated by a lot of guys just to get it. Now I realize I brought it upon myself in some way.” Lindsey

“I hated myself for a while…I felt that I wasn’t worth anything and wondered why anyone would want to waste their time on me.” Betsy

“At least you have people that care and love you. I don’t have that and never did. I actually do care bout others but I have not one person asking me if I’m ok. Never did.” – JK

“Living is hard, dying is simple and easy. And to die by my choice seems to be the only way. Nobody not one friend nor family to talk to.. I’v wasted years thinking somebody could help me. The more i realise i’m just alone the more evident it becomes i’m not meant to live this life. Everything seems so pointless being alive.” – Sane

Where Does It End?

I can’t take it all in without asking myself, why so much sadness? How and where does it end?

Mother Theresa, one of the modern day saints, said it well, “The world is lost for want of sweetness and kindness. Do not forget we need each other.” She spent her life on the streets of Calcutta, India, amongst the poor and orphans and she recognized that “The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”

So I wonder…what if we were just kinder to one another? Here’s my challenge:

We Need More Kindness

For just one day take your eyes off of your own problems and considered that you are surrounded by people with problems of their own. They may look like they have it together…but, likely, you look pretty good from the outside as well. It doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting. So what if, for this one day, you simply choose to be kind?

Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless. Mother Teresa

After years of talking to teens and young adults on the radio, I know this to be true…we are all desperate to be loved and accepted. I also know that when someone is treated with kindness and respect, they feel worthy and can hold their head a little higher. Whether you live in the slums of Calcutta, a ranch in Montana, small town Ireland, or the streets of Hong Kong, ALL of humanity wants to be seen and feel like they matter.

Sound too simple?

A Day of Choosing Kindness

I get that kindness won’t solve every problem, but let’s see what it could do.

There are a million ways to show kindness.

Today I encourage you to try this:

Sit down with the girl who always eats alone and invite your friends to join you, rather than walk past her again.
Tell your sister the shirt she stole from your closet looks nice on her rather than getting back at her for taking it without permission.
Take 5 minutes of your time to call your friend who is going through a tough time. Don’t keep putting it off.
Make a point to encourage teammate who lost the game for you, rather than blaming them.
Stop and say hi to the little kid on your block who sits outside by himself most days, rather than ignoring him.

Or how about this scenario:

Every morning when you wake up you have some choices to make. For example:

You could yell at your mom, flip off the driver who turned in front of you, ignore the person who sold you coffee, and give the cold shoulder to your friend who didn’t text you back.

You could hug your mom, wave at the person who turned in front of you, make eye-contact with the person who sold you coffee and wish them a good day, and forgive your friend for the oversight and ask how their night was.

A lot of it has to do with the impact our little choices have on others.

Inspiring Stories of Everyday Kindness

Here are some more simple ideas to consider:

Tell someone you like their sweater.

Compliment your boss or teacher.

Visit with your grandma.

Ask the gas station attendant how their day is going.

Help the person who dropped their groceries.

O.K. I’ll stop now. You get what I’m talking about.

Are you wondering what’s in it for you?

Every morning when you wake up you have some choices to make. #choosekindness #stopbullying Click To Tweet

Showing Kindness Makes You Happier

We are not on this planet alone….and when we care for each other our life takes on more meaning….more purpose…and quite honestly, more joy.

It is probably obvious to point out that after a day of purposefully showing kindness, the people around you feel better.

But here is the beauty of it all. How do you think you are feeling at the end of this day? Do you feel still feel angry, frustrated, hateful, etc.? Or do you actually feel encouraged, energized, inspired and hopeful yourself?

You get it, right? Kindness has rewards on both ends! Holding on to all the angst you feel and taking it out on others will NEVER make you happier. But making someone else’s day…that will always feel good.

In fact, this is proven by research. In a study published in the Journal of Social Psychology, people were asked to take a survey measuring how satisfied they were with life. Then they were divided into groups. One group was told to perform a daily act of kindness for 10 days, the other group was told nothing. After 10 days they filled out the satisfaction survey again. The group that practiced kindness had a significant boost in happiness. And this little experiment only lasted for 10 days!

Is it really that hard to choose kindness? Are you ready to give it a try?

Kindness is Not a New Idea

Obviously the idea of being kind is not new, but I feel like it gets forgotten along the way. We get too busy, and become too self-centered. We focus on our own stuff and neglect to take the time to pay attention to others.

Did you know that the Bible often talks about being kind? “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) and “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, “ (Colossians 3:12)

God is kind and He desires for His children to be an example of Him. God hates to see us hurting and wants to use His people on earth to spread love and joy by caring for others. He wants us to love others the way He loves us.

God is kind and He desires for His children to be an example of Him. @dawsonradio #choosekindness Click To Tweet

I’ll leave you with this final quote from Mother Teresa.

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”

Love Gives Life, Love is Oxygen

Love is the Fuel for Life

Love gives life to us as we breathe it in and then we can’t help but spread the love to those around us as we breathe it out. Jarrid Wilson, author of, Love is Oxygen, wants you to know that it doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done, God loves you very much! If you want to better understand God’s love and how to harness it in the way God intended, then this book is for you.

We are giving away 5 copies of Jarrid Wilson’s book: Love is Oxygen. To be entered to win, make a comment below and retweet one of Jarrid’s tweets by September 30th!

“Love is the fuel for life, it gives us life as we breathe it in.” @JarridWilson Click To Tweet

Oxygen Gives Life to Our Souls

In the same way oxygen gives air to the lungs, love is the oxygen that gives life to our souls. This book is about Jarrid’s discovery of who God is in his life and his encounter with God’s love. For many years, Jarrid knew of God’s love and knew God loved him but had never really grasped a hold of it. It wasn’t until Jarrid was at his lowest point and didn’t want to do life anymore that he had a revelation of God’s love. He had googled, “painless ways to commit suicide” and he told God he didn’t want to feel this way anymore. That’s when he heard God tell him, “I don’t want you to feel this either.” Jarrid soon realized that God had a better life for him and thus began his journey of understanding and accepting God’s love. Jarrid wrote this book because he wants you to understand and personally experience God’s love.

“Love is the oxygen that gives life to our souls.” @JarridWilson Click To Tweet

3 Biblical Truths

Jarrid says there are 3 truths from the Bible (which are not necessarily easy to believe) but they are God’s truth which can help you start to understand how much God loves you and transform your life:

God loves you.
Every life matters.
Everyone has a purpose.

We can take these truths and put our faith in them. God says, the truth shall set you free so by starting to profess and believe these truths you can start to find freedom and understand God’s love for you. Read and say these as much as you need to:

God loves me.
My life matters.
I have a purpose.

You are loved by God! Your life matters! You have a purpose! If you can believe these truths, it will change your life. If you think you don’t matter, you do. Have you contemplated that you have no purpose? It is not true, you absolutely do have a purpose. God loves you, not because of anything you have done or haven’t done but because He created you and loves you just because you are who you are. He made you in His image and he wants to have a relationship with you. He’s already poured out his love (as much as you need – like oxygen), now you just need to recognize it and accept it.

Depression, Meds, and Churches and Mental Health

Jarrid Wilson also addresses controversial mental health issues in his book. You can listen to our interview with Jarrid Wilson for answers to important questions about mental health. Do you want to know…?

If taking medication for depression or for any other mental health issue is a sin.
If God has fully freed Jarrid from depression. (Can He and does God do that?)
How churches can help people dealing with mental health issues.
Or if you want to be encouraged, that it’s okay to not be okay.

In this book, Jarrid Wilson, shares about when he felt suicidal and some other heartbreaks and failures in his life. He also shares about the freedom he’s found by understanding and accepting God’s love. He wants you to understand God’s love too! In our interview with Jarrid, he said, “If only one person’s life is changed through reading this book, then it was all worth it.”

It's okay to not have it all together. None of us do. @JarridWilson Click To Tweet

For more information on Jarrid Wilson’s book, Love is Oxygen, or to get a free chapter, visit: loveisoxygen.com.

Jarrid Wilson is a husband, father, pastor, author of several books, founder of Anthem of Hope, and follower of Jesus. TheHopeLine wants to give a shout out to Jarrid for giving us some of his time to talk about God’s love!

Win a free copy of, Love is Oxygen, by Jarrid Wilson. Make a comment below and retweet one of Jarrid’s tweets by September 30th to win!

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

6 Ways to Silence Shame

Shame Makes Us Feel Unworthy, but God Says We Are Worthy Because of His Grace

Written by: Kris Vallotton, this post was originally published on MoralRevolution.com, it has been reused with the permission of Moral Revolution.

Have you ever heard that little voice in your head say…?

“You don’t fit in”

“Nobody likes you”

“You’re stupid”

“You’re the only one who has made this mistake”

“How could God love you? I mean He really knows everything about you”

“You’re not lovable”

“You will never fulfill your destiny”

Have you ever felt like…?

“Everyone is against me”

“I’m not as good as others”

“I just can’t do anything right”

“Maybe if I just try harder, then…”

“I’m all alone”

“I hate myself”

“I’m worthless”

If you answered “yes” to any of these statements, shame could be speaking to you.

SHAME HAS BEEN SPEAKING SINCE THE GARDEN OF EDEN

When Adam and Eve first sinned in the Garden of Eden, guilt was an appropriate symptom of their disobedience. Guilt is built into our conscience to let us know when we have done something that threatens our connection with God.

Guilt is actually a good thing. It’s like a warning light on a car’s dashboard that lets you know when something needs attention before the engine blows up.

Guilt is from God

Shame is from Satan

Guilt says, “You did something wrong,” like when the apostle Paul said, “All have sinned” (Rom. 3:23). Guilt says, “I did something bad.” Guilt is about what we’ve done.

Shame goes further: It speaks to who we are.

Shame is the sense of feeling unworthy. It’s a core (even subconscious) belief of unworthiness.

Shame says, “You are wrong.” “You are a sinner.” “You are bad.” “You are not good enough.”

Shame asks, “Who do you think you are?

SHAME ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK TO OUR IDENTITY

If the devil can convince us that we do not have a supernatural identity as children of God, then he can derail us from our supernatural destiny.

When Jesus was baptized, he heard the Father say, “This is my son…” Identity. Interestingly, Jesus did not preach one message, heal one sick person, or prophesy until he first heard of his true identity. We can only fulfill our supernatural destiny to the degree that we believe our supernatural identity.

SHAME TRIES TO TALK US OUT OF OUR IDENTITY

After his baptism, Jesus was led out into the desert to be tempted by the devil. Two times, the devil assaulted Jesus’ identity when he challenged him, saying, “If you are the Son of God, turn these stones into bread.” And then, “If you are the Son of God, jump off of the temple’s roof.”

The devil was attempting to tempt Jesus into performing to prove his identity because he knew that if Jesus took the challenge, it would demonstrate that he did not really know who he was. Moreover, he would have to spend the rest of his life proving his identity over and over. Knowing our true identity prevents performance for approval.

‘IDENTITY’: A CHAT WITH CHRISTIAN RECORDING ARTIST COLTON DIXON

SHAME IS THE SOURCE OF PERFECTIONISM

Shame always seeks to seduce its prey into perfectionism. When we listen to shame, we will never feel secure in our identity. We will always need to do more to prove that “we are O.K.”, while never actually appeasing shame’s appetite for approval.

The pursuit of feeling worthy by being better, more successful, thinner, smarter, wealthier, accomplished, or even in “good” busyness, is a futile attempt at cultivating a godly sense of worthiness.

The apostle Paul states in Ephesians 2:10 that, “We are saved by grace, not of ourselves; it is a gift of God, so that no one can boast.” That means you cannot earn worthiness. We are worthy of God’s love because of His grace – nothing more.

Additionally, we were God’s treasures before we ever became Christians – “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).” When God created Adam and Eve, He said that they were “good;” they had intrinsic worth – worthiness – His treasures.

SHAME SILENCERS:

Learn how to recognize God’s voice from the devil’s voice.

Ask yourself, “Is what I’m hearing the truth or a lie?” Try writing down all of the times shame speaks to you during the day. You may be surprised at how often shame is speaking.

Learn how to be vulnerable.

Shame loves secrecy. The truth will set us free. Being open and honest requires great risk, but also reaps great reward. Begin with yourself, God, and then reach out to someone who can give you good feedback. Telling someone that we have been listening to shame releases us from the power of secrecy, and silences shame.

CHANGE THE PATTERN OF NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

Learn to recognize your feelings.

Empathy is the antidote to shame. When we are able to discern and identify our feelings and the feelings of others, it creates a pathway to finding out what we need from God, others, and ourselves. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” “What do I need?”

Learn to take every thought captive.

You are going to be tempted to believe and act in negative, hurtful, and dysfunctional ways to the shame messages spoken to you. Shame is silenced when we take ownership of our mistakes, accept our limitations, deficiencies, and limitations, as well as interpret other people’s motives correctly. Take responsibility in submitting shaming thoughts and feelings to become obedient to Christ’s perspective (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Learn how to listen through the ears of faith.

Ask yourself, “What does God want to say to me about my identity right now?” “What does He think about me?” Additionally, begin reading Scripture from the perspective that God is for you, that you are a good man or woman, that you are a saint saved by grace, an overcomer, the apple of His eye.

AGE DOESN’T MATTER…YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Learn to be grateful.

The fact is that you are wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14). Being grateful for how God has made you in all of your limitations and imperfections will help you to replace shame with acceptance and love. Every time you hear shame messages left on your mental voice mail, erase them with gratitude. Thankfulness prepares the way for breakthrough.

Be grateful for how God has made you in all of your limitations and imperfections. @kvministries Click To Tweet

Moral Revolution promotes a culture of love, honor, and respect by imparting vision, restoring wholeness, and empowering choice!

Want more? Read more of Moral Revolution’s blogs…HOT TOPICS!

All Photos by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

TheHopeLine’s eBook on self-worth gives practical advice on how to increase your self-esteem.

Tania’s Story: Not Believing In Myself

I always felt worthless…not good enough, not smart, nor beautiful. I wanted to do things that I knew weren’t right, but I wanted to do those things to forget…to forget what I was going through at the moment . I felt like everyone around me disliked me. I was so insecure of me, all of me. I thought about doing things but every time I had a thought of those, my daughter’s little smile would appear. Every time I was down crying , she was there to pick her mamma back up. Looking at her motivated me to think better and to do better things not only for me but most importantly for my daughter. I became a Christian and accepted Jesus Christ in my life about 6 months ago…trust me when I say he is real, I love him so very much. I know I’m a strong single mother and will be able to do it on my own without having to depend on anything. I’m no longer insecure about myself because I know that I’m perfect to God. I wake up every morning calling myself beautiful after looking in the mirror while brushing my teeth. God is amazing. And remember: “Believe in yourself, anything is possible!”

Tania

Believe in yourself, anything is possible! - Tania Click To Tweet

If you are feeling alone and are dealing with something that is emotionally painful…let us help you. Chat with a caring, loving HopeCoach!

Photo by Dakota Corbin on Unsplash

Don’t stay in that place of feeling worthless, it’s going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it’s possible. TheHopeLine’s eBook on self-worth gives practical advice about how to increase your self-esteem.

‘Identity’: A Chat with Christian Recording Artist Colton Dixon

In a society so ready to define us by our Instagram feeds, it feels counter-cultural to turn to a higher power. In his third studio album “Identity,” Colton reminds us that God never intended anyone or anything other than Himself to label us.

Since placing in the top 7 during “American Idol’s” 11th season and performing for more than a million fans across the country on tours with Britt Nicole, Third Day and TobyMac, it would be easy for Colton Dixon to allow his success to become his identity. Instead, Colton chooses his identity solely in Christ.

The Christian recording artists says, “The only thing that’s going to really satisfy you is the Lord, and He’s the only thing that will continue to blow your mind as you live your life. He will always exceed your expectations, always.”

The only thing to really satisfy you is the Lord! @coltondixon Click To Tweet

Find out what made Colton want to pursue a career as an artist:

Letting God lead the way – “God put the call in my life and He started opening the doors, and here I am.” – Colton Dixon, on leaving baseball to pursue music.

Figuring out what matters, and what doesn’t – “It started as a personal thing, trying to figure out where I placed my identity, and figuring out the things that mattered, and the things that didn’t.” – Colton Dixon, on the inspiration that led to Identity.

Find out how Colton met his wife, Annie and what has made their marriage successful:

It would also be natural for Dixon to stake his identity in his marriage, but he doesn’t look to his relationship with his bride, Annie, to define him, though her mark on his life is woven into the fabric of his album Identity. Meeting through mutual friends, Colton and Annie are now celebrating their one year wedding anniversary. As to what contributes to a successful marriage?

A servant’s posture – “The servant posture [is what helps make a marriage successful.] Every day I have a chance to serve my wife, [like] doing something she wants to do verses something I want to do. I’m not perfect at it, but I’m learning.” – Colton Dixon, on getting married.

Learn to reflect on your own life – “I definitely deal with some topics that might be hard to hear. I want fans to feel motivated and encouraged, but I want these songs to challenge them and make them think about their own lives.”

The Other Side – “Death is inevitable, and know that they’re on the other side and they’re living it up right now.”

Dedicated to Annie’s brother Dillon who passed away shortly before Annie and Colton met, the song The Other Side talks about the sensitive topic of death and what it means to lose a loved one.

How to know what your true identity is:

In a culture of teens and young adults tying their self-worth to their online audience and how they’re perceived via social media, how do we put an end to the superficial characterizations? By putting God back into our Identity.

God Defines You – “God defines us in His word and we’re precious and we’re beautiful to him. He made no two people exactly alike… God cared about you so much to make you unique, that in and of itself is enough for me.”

God cared about you so much to make you unique. @coltondixon Click To Tweet

“Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.” — Colossians 3:11

“No matter who you are or what you’re going through, YOU MATTER.” -Colton Dixon

Identity, the third studio album from Colton Dixon, is intentionally divided into three sections – Mind, Body and Spirit – each separated by an instrumental, cinematic interlude. The MIND delves into the way our thoughts direct out actions and control the way we see ourselves. The BODY explores our humanity and how we are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. The SPIRIT provides moments of contemplation and peaceful reflection. With every note and lyric, Colton’s heartbeat is to express the truth he’s uncovered in his own life over and over again. This world can’t define us, because God’s love is our identity.

TheHopeLine’s eBook on self-worth gives practical advice on how to increase your self-esteem.

Rage At God

This post was originally published on Heart Support, it has been reused with permission by: The Heart Support Team. Jake Luhrs, lead singer of Grammy-nominated metal band, August Burns Red, created Heart Support as a place where every music fan can heal and grow stronger.

“My rage at God had manifested itself in my everyday life.”

Depression. Anxiety. PTSD. Bipolar. All terms I have heard in the last year as people try to explain what’s wrong with me. I’m 21 and just now receiving the help I needed 6 years ago. I started cutting when I was 15. It was my way of controlling my world that was quickly spiraling downwards. When I started high school, I put so much of my self-worth in the people around me. I needed a boyfriend, and I wasn’t picky or cautious. A year into my first relationship, I was raped. I had that gift taken from me by someone I thought loved me. So here’s life knocking me down another notch, and the depression became accompanied by shame and guilt.

I learned to hide my cuts, and began to think that sex was no longer special. I jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend and the rampaging depression from everyone. When I was being used, I accepted it because it was the only way I felt like I meant anything. I was slowly losing my relationship with God. But I didn’t care because I felt abandoned.

I was slowly losing my relationship with God. But I didn’t care because I felt abandoned. #anger Click To Tweet

I was then violently raped by another boyfriend. At that point I felt completely alone. I still went to church because I ran sound for the band, and it was something I loved to do, but I wasn’t there for the right reasons. I still hadn’t learned my lesson with men, and entered an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship. I was forced to cut ties with my family and friends. I started suffering from anxiety attacks and could feel the suicidal thoughts start to become stronger. I finally got out of the relationship, but my depression was so severe that I couldn’t control my cutting and suicidal thoughts. I was angry. Angry at my situation, angry at him, but mostly angry at God. How could he let this happen to me? I entered counseling and was diagnosed with PTSD. When things weren’t getting better, I entered an outpatient day therapy program through the hospital. I refused God and his love because I couldn’t forgive myself and because I blamed him for my problems.

We're all deserving of the grace that he offers, including this imperfect, beaten down, abused me. Click To Tweet

Fast forward to now, almost a year later, with a DUI, drug habits, and a self-loathing that I couldn’t control, I finally called out for help. My rage at God had manifested itself in my everyday life and I became violent towards my family. I was at my breaking point and I couldn’t handle it on my own. I prayed and prayed for an answer to my problems and one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. God wasn’t the cause of my problems in life… I was. I had turned away from the one that loved me through all of my mistakes and had the grace I needed to accept. I find out soon if I have bipolar disorder, and I’m praying constantly for an answer along with the strength to accept God’s forgiveness and his unending love.

We are all deserving of the grace that he offers, including me. This imperfect, abused, and beat down person is deserving of grace. Deserving of love. And most importantly, forgiveness. Learning that lesson has been the hardest one to grasp in the midst of everything I’ve been dealing with. But we, as his children, need to ask for it before it can be given. Only then does He know that we are ready to receive it. So I pray not only for myself, but for everyone struggling in their life, to reach out and accept His grace and love, because YOU are worth it. YOU are deserving of it. And so am I.

In His name,
Taber

‘Out of the Dark’: Mandisa chats with TheHopeLine!

Deep depression, loss of her best friend, questioning God, turning to food for comfort, being super single…all things Mandisa opened up about in her chat with TheHopeLine!

Mandisa was so sweet when she spoke to us and the really cool thing is…she is not ashamed to talk about her struggles. She is authentic and real and brings a lot of raw emotion into her music!

Mandisa’s new album, Out of the Dark, is based on personal experience. She says God has pulled her out of the dark and now she has a renewed passion for her music and a willingness to be transparent and vulnerable about the challenges she faced the last several years.

Depression can be a deep dark hole that sucks you in further and further. It can be all-consuming and you can feel like there is no hope. Depression can be a struggle all of it’s own or it can stem from so many other things like anxiety, grief, relationship issues, abuse. If you are in that dark place right now or have been there, you are not alone. Singer, songwriter and Grammy winner, Mandisa has been very transparent about the deep depression she faced in the last few years and she tells TheHopeLine what it was like. She says, at one point she was comfortable in that dark place. She explains, “I shut out everyone, I shut out God, I shut out everyone who loved me. I hardly left my house. I stayed in my house everyday. I ate and I watched television and I’ve never been more miserable in my life.”

Mandisa chats about her struggle with depression.

When you are in a deep depression, it’s all consuming so it’s very hard to make positive steps to move forward or get help. Mandisa was in a depression for about 3 1/2 years until she reached a turning point. Mandisa said God showed her 3 things:

We have to walk in community with one another. – “There’s a difference in needing time to re-energize and in isolating and shutting out the world.” Her loved ones loved her too much to leave her where she was. Friends and family are important!
Stop focusing on your mistakes in the past. – “I had to stop battling with shame because of all the mistakes I made.”
Look for those flickers of light that come in so many places. – “Darkness is overwhelming but it only takes one flicker of light to chase out that darkness.”

The turning point for Mandisa and what she learned along the way.

Mandisa’s Grammy winning song “Overcomer” was written for her best friend, Kisha, to encourage her while she was battling breast cancer. Mandisa later wrote “Prove Me Wrong” from the anger she was feeling after her friend died. She says the song is not tied up with a pretty Christian bow but it’s honest and heartfelt. She says through her grief she learned, “When you are dealing grief, you have to bring that to the Lord or you are going to bring it somewhere else.”

Mandisa tells us the meaning behind the song, "Overcomer."

Find out which 2 songs on her new album, Out of the Dark, are her favorites:

Mandisa's favorite songs on her new album.

If you are struggling with depression, no matter the cause, to find out more and get help, check out our free eBook on Depression!

6 Questions with Brian Johnson (Bethel Music)

Brian & Jenn Johnson: After All These Years

I got a chance to chat with Brian Johnson about the new album he and his wife released, After All These Years. Brian and Jenn Johnson have done many compilations with well-known artists over the years and they are worship leaders at Bethel Church in Redding, California and founders of Bethel Music and WorshipU. Their album, After All These Years, is their first solo release album together in over 10 years.

Brian says, “I think with this album, it’s not as much about being wowed by something but about being honest and raw.” He says, “We purposely, on many occasions, decided to keep things the way they were – even a vocal that’s not perfect.”

Have you ever asked what is the purpose of worship? Do worship leaders ever share about their own personal struggles? Have you been turned off from God because of what someone did? Did you know that worship can help with anxiety and depression? Brian shared answers to these questions and more. Be sure to click each of the links below to hear the actual interview.

What inspired you to write this album?

Brian explained, “The idea of doing an album after all these years is the title of the album, After All These Years, because of what happened throughout these past ten years. In this interview Brian shared openly and honestly about his nervous breakdown and other experiences that inspired their lyrics and compositions. Be sure to listen to the audio clip.

What inspired you to write this album?

What got you through your nervous breakdown?

Have you wondered if celebrities ever have struggles? And how do they overcome them? Brian shared with me about his own nervous breakdown and said that he had to “go deep with God.” Listen to what he shared in this clip of the interview.

What got you through your nervous breakdown?

How do you think worshiping God and seeking God can help with anxiety and depression?

Brian said, “I think it’s like a reset button, your phone gets bogged down and starts acting weird and you got to reset it. I think we are the same way. I think it brings things back in the appropriate perspective and balance.”

In honesty Brian shared this with me, “In my case, I hit a wall. I got put in the hospital that day, I just couldn’t breathe, the emotional and spiritual became physical. I can coin this phrase, but consider it a gift when God becomes your only option. There is a point in all of our lives where God becomes the only option. The beautiful thing is when nothing works and we have one option with God. That’s what happened. It’s terrible, but at the same time the best thing that ever happened to me.”

How do you think worshipping God and seeking God can help with anxiety and depression?

The beautiful thing is when nothing works and we have one option with God. @brianjohnsonM Click To Tweet

Why do you think worship is so important?

Brian believes, “The beautiful thing about worship is there is a progression sometimes, it’s like processing, like insecurity processing doubt…leading us into those moments, but God you were faithful here, you were faithful there. I can’t feel or see, but I’m going to take a step of faith right now and sing out that I trust you.”

What’s the inspiration with the song, You’re Gonna Be Okay?

Jenn wrote this song and Brian shared that, “She wrote it for a few of her friends, almost prophetic, declaring over them, prophesying: I’m seeing something, I’m feeling something from the heart of God that I know that you don’t know and you’re not feeling, but I’m just telling you right now, with the authority of heaven, you’re going to be okay.”

What is the inspiration behind the song, You're Gonna Be Okay?

I’m just telling you right now, you’re gonna be okay. @jennjohnson20 Click To Tweet

Is there something you would say to someone who is a non-believer or who has not been exposed to much worship music or this kind of music?

Brian said this, “I just feel there are so many distractions and things that get in the way of a pure relationship with God. And it’s actually not complicated. It’s quite simple.There is a Creator that created everything and sent His son. When we approach that, almost with a clean slate and just say: God if you are real, speak to me, if you are real, reveal yourself to me. I believe God will always reveal himself to a hungry heart, to someone that knows that they are not God, to someone that really, genuinely wants to know their Creator.”

Is there something you would say to someone who is a non-believer or who has not been exposed to much worship music or this kind of music?

If you are struggling with making a connection with God, Brian shared this, “When I had my nervous breakdown, I had to connect with God as if I was on a deserted island for the rest of my life with nobody else there. I know that there has to be something that’s bigger than me that holds this world together. You look at science, it’s amazing what it takes for things to grow and live. When you approach God from that point of view you will find God as clear as day. I think keeping your relationship with God is just as important. Approaching God as if, that sacred time with Him, that sacred moment, is a big deal.”

I believe God will always reveal himself to a hungry heart. @brianjohnsonM Click To Tweet

Connect with Brian and Jenn Johnson: http://brianandjennjohnson.com/

Does anything Brian said challenge your way of thinking or did anything he say make an impact on you? Please leave us a comment below.

Rachel & TheHopeLine Team

If you are dealing with stress and anxiety, like Brian has, to get help, download your free eBook today.

John Cooper, from Skillet, Talks About The Song, “Stars”

Skillet’s song, “Stars” is featured in the movie, The Shack.

John Cooper, lead vocalist for Skillet, talks about writing the song “Stars” and what the song means to him personally. He shares some personal struggles he had as a teenager. And he talks about how his song came to be on the soundtrack of the movie, The Shack.

What inspired you to write the song, “Stars?” What does the song mean to you personally?

John Cooper: The song is about we believe that God is in control of very big things. In other words, most people don’t question whether the sun is going to come up the next day, if we are going to all freeze to death because the sun burns out, or the Earth in rotation, all these big things in the Universe are being run every day and we have faith for that. But a lot of times we don’t have faith for the little things: that God can help heal a relationship between a husband and a wife, or a parent and a kid, or save a marriage, or help me when I feel alone, or help me through a bad time…things like that. When I’m struggling with depression or loneliness or whatever that may be. So the song “Stars” is about the fact that God is in control of all these big things but He still knows who you are. He knows your name. He knows your pain and He knows where you live. It’s very worshipful but it’s also very personal as well.

He knows your name; He knows your pain. @johnlcooper Click To Tweet

Did you write the song “Stars” by yourself or what happened with this song?

John Cooper: This was a little bit different because normally my wife, Corey and I write most of our music but we do write with other folks as well. This is one of the only songs we’ve ever written that had 4 people involved. It was me and my wife and two other writers. It was good because I wanted to get something a little bit different than what Skillet normally does. So, I drew on some people I was a fan of and some writers and we wanted to try something new and worshipful. We’ve done things like that in the past but it’s been a very long time. And that’s why “Stars” is kind of cool. I’m a fan of music, of course, and other bands and I love it when bands do something that I’m not quite expecting.

So, I’m assuming you write the song, “Stars” first and then the movie people like your song so they come to you and say, “Can we use your song in the movie?” Is that the way it works?

John Cooper: It works in lots of different ways. In this particular situation, it was very unique because the Shack sound track is meant to be songs inspired by the film. And most people wrote new songs for it. I think we might be one of the few that did not, we happened to have an existing song that just very much tied into what the movie was about. It was meant to be. It was kind of a long, crazy bunch of events that led to this happening which all seemed kind of miraculous. I was really excited and very proud because this is a really powerful movie. I’ve seen the prerelease of it. Honestly, I watched it 5 times, I could not quit watching this movie…it was extremely moving. I think a lot of people are going to be impacted in a huge way from the film.

I watched it 5 times, I could not quit watching this movie…it was extremely moving. #TheShack Click To Tweet

You’ve released an album recently, called Unleased with this song on it?

John Copper: The album was released last August. The song “Stars” is on our record but there is the new version which is kind of the acoustic version which is on The Shack soundtrack. It’s not on the record, it’s its own release. So, it’s the same song but different versions, I guess you would say.

There’s a line in the song: “If you can calm a raging sea, you can calm the storm in me.” Do you have a personal story of God stepping in and calming a storm in your life?

John Cooper: That is my absolute favorite line in the song. To me, it not only sums up what the song is about, that very much sums up what a lot of Skillet is trying to convey in our music over our career. It’s very much us. Probably the biggest struggle in my life, my mom passed away when I was 14. She had cancer for about 3 years. When I was 11, she got diagnosed with cancer and fought that. She had operations and chemotherapy and after 3 years of fighting it, she passed away. I was a Christian and my mom was a devout believer and my family was. But nothing quite prepares you for that sort of thing. My mom used to tell me, if something happens and I do die, you can’t be mad at God. God is in control and God is good and things like that…which is great parenting and great teaching. But after she did die, my dad got remarried and there just began to be this struggle in our household and fighting. Honestly, I struggled with hatred and anger and bitterness for years and years and years. And I remember when I was 16, is probably when I really reached out to God and asked Him to calm that storm in me. I needed to know Jesus as a friend. I knew him as my Savior and my Lord but I began to talk to Him like a friend, like I need someone. That was probably my biggest moment, hardest moments of my life and some of the most beautiful too.

I really reached out to God and asked Him to calm that storm in me. @johnlcooper @skilletmusic Click To Tweet

A lot of people who come to TheHopeLine, come to us during their most time of struggling, during their darkest time. What would you say to someone who is in one of their darkest times? What do you think would help them the most in that moment in that time of their life?

John Cooper: It’s different for different people, of course. There is no easy answer that anyone can give that is going to all of a sudden make someone feel not sad or not lonely or not depressed. I will say, in my own life, reaching out to God and asking Him to be…The Bible says that the Holy Spirit is a comforter. He is someone that comforts us when we need to be comforted so that is truth from the word. I do tell people, if you reach out to God, he will comfort you, he will draw near to you. That’s also what the Bible says…if you draw near to God, he will draw near to you. It’s not going to be like you’re asking Him for help and He’s going to refuse to answer you but it also doesn’t mean everything is just going to be great all the time, that’s not necessarily what the Bible teaches. You might have to do that all the time and you might still struggle in certain ways. But I think beginning to find your value, not in yourself, and not in your achievements, or how many friends you have or how you are treated at school or your job or whatever. Finding your value in being a son or daughter of God is really what’s going to take your eyes off of yourself and onto Him. So, I do think in America we need a big dose of: It’s not about me and my life isn’t really about me. If you belong to Christ, then your life really is not your own…it belongs to Him and for His glory so if you can focus on Him, all of a sudden you’re going to find out, you’re not as sad as you used to be. It’s a little bit like having kids. When you have a kid, you don’t really have time to think of how you feel because you’re so tired all the time…you’re giving out to this child and all of a sudden you begin to be a little bit more fulfilled. You are finding your fulfillment in being there for someone else…that’s a little bit what it’s like. You’ll put your eyes on Christ and all of a sudden you won’t have time to remember you are feeling down or people don’t like you at school and things like that. I’m not minimalizing or trivializing the pain of adolescents and growing up, all those things are very real and it doesn’t mean they’re going to go away right off. But I know from personal experience, if you reach out to God, He will draw close to you.

If you belong to Christ, then your life really is not your own. @johnlcooper @skilletmusic Click To Tweet

Watch Film Trailer: THE SHACK

Connect with Skillet:

Website
Facebook
Twitter

TheHopeLine was so excited and thankful to have the opportunity to speak with John Cooper! He is an amazing guy and he is a big fan of TheHopeLine! If you have been struggling with loneliness, grief, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. TheHopeLine is here to listen and help!

Life is Worth Fighting For

The Enemy is Fighting to Defeat You

Written by: Lama-Leah

If you were not on this earth, life for everyone else who is still here would never be the same. If you are struggling with knowing your true value, continue to read.

Last week I was at a coffee shop with the intention to write but I made a friend. They shared their wisdom about life with me. This person shared parts of their testimony. Despite having a HARD life, they choose to remain positive. I shared about the first time that Satan had a spirit of death and suicide over me.

How they responded to me is prevalent to anyone who has/is struggled with suicidal thoughts/actions. I was told,

The enemy did/does not want you here because he knows how special you are, what you have done and are going to do here on this earth for the glory of God.

That statement in itself has so much truth in it. If I had died the first time I desperately wanted to, I would not have been able to make the small mark on the world that I have made. I wouldn’t have the honor of helping those whom I have gotten the chance to help, and Lama Leah wouldn’t be what it has been becoming and my thoughts and wisdom would not have reached around the world. In my wildest dreams I never thought that my life would change for the better, but against my contrary belief, it did! I have been able to do some things and help some people that I would have never have thought was possible.

The Enemy is intimidated by those who are going to do great things for the kingdom! When he sees something great that comes from God his instincts are to destroy it and prevent it from doing its work. The most rewarding thing that you can do is overcome the devil through the blood of Christ.

When I personally choose to fight for life, my depression did not end nor was I always content with my decision. In the small moments of hope that’s when I knew that it was worth it. For me, it was giving a friend a hug who is hurting, snuggles with my dog, drinking peppermint tea, late nights focused on art projects, and writing a blog post that others enjoy or learn from. These are the small moments when even depression is at its peak and living seems unbearable, but life is worth fighting for.

In the small moments of hope that’s when I knew that it was worth it. #youmatter Click To Tweet

If you die from suicide you are taking the mark that you have put on the world and making it significantly lighter because if you continue to live the possibilities that you have to make your mark are endless. The world will absolutely never be the same without you because you bring something unique and individual to the world. If you are suicidal, I am truly begging you to give this life another chance. Life may not become better now but it can and will change eventually. God could be allowing you to go through this season as an opportunity to grow. Maybe God will use the season that you are in now and saving the wisdom that you gained from it for a different season. I promise you that choosing life will be worth it!

The world will absolutely never be the same without you! #youmatter #suicideprevention Click To Tweet

Two years ago, in the car, when my best friend was pleading for me to fight, she told me this, “You can’t commit suicide, think about how great the day when you are able to say ‘I made it through this hell and look where I am now.’ Things can only get better from here.” What she said was true. If you are suicidal from a bully in your life (any kind of bully, a physical person, depression, current life circumstances, the DEVIL, etc.), how will you be able to prove them wrong if you’re not alive to do so? From my experience, the rewarding part of various struggles in life is when you can overcome them.

Those who have the hardest life become the strongest people. If you are currently suicidal, please be encouraged. The battles that you are in are always worth fighting, even when it seems that you may not have victory, but remember it is impossible to achieve victory if you surrender. I promise you that life will change, and when it does, you will be grateful that you did not act on your plan. Think about the great day that it will be when you are able to see the beauty in your hardships. Suicide eliminates the chances of life becoming better because it stops your journey in this world.

Those who have the hardest life become the strongest people. #bestrong Click To Tweet

If you choose life let me tell you this, it will not be an easy battle to overcome but in the end it is worth every hardship and tear. Yeshua is here to walk with you, by your side, every step of the way. Everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, remember it simply isn’t the end. Also read these passages Psalms 57:8 and 1 John 5:4-5.

When you saw one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you,

Lama Leah

Lama Leah is blogger, supporter of the arts, social change, and God’s chosen people. Read more from her at her blog: Lama-Leah!

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

For information on what to do if you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.

Matt’s Story: Thank you Dawson

Almost 10 years ago, I had first heard Dawson McAllister on the radio when I was on tour throughout Tennessee. I was only 16 or 17 at the time, now I’m 27. I have 2 beautiful daughters and in a much happier place. Mostly because of the conversation I had with Dawson McAllister on the air while I was driving and it was late. I was considering just turning the wheel and going off the road and doing whatever I could to just end it. But after the talk we had, I changed my mind.

Just wanted to thank you, my friend, Dawson. Without God, and without you… I wouldn’t have my two beautiful girls to wake me up and drive me nuts every morning. And I wouldn’t change that for the world. Thank you.

Matt

One Word for the New Year

by Dawson McAllister

Finding Focus with One Word

Here we sit at the start of another New Year. 365 blank days staring us in the face waiting to be written. What story will those 365 days tell at the end of this year?

That is kind of a daunting question to ask yourself. And yet most people do ask it. It is why we write resolutions and set goals. We desire the year before us to tell a GOOD story.

I have written blogs on how to motivate yourself to keep your resolutions and tips for keeping your resolutions. I believe there is real value in setting goals for the year.

But today I want to talk about a different idea to consider as you start a new year. I’ve heard it referred to as One Word for the New Year or One-Word Resolutions. Essentially – you pick one word that encompasses how you want to approach the New Year.

It's one word that encompasses how you want to approach the New Year. #oneword Click To Tweet

For example, maybe your word for the year is Discipline. This is your focus for the year. You are saying that you want to approach your work, your relationships, your spiritual life, etc. with discipline. You are committing to giving a full-effort to areas of your life this year and not just giving a laid back, half effort to the important things in your life. You want to be disciplined and stay on task.

On the flip side, maybe your word for the year is Relax. Perhaps you have had a number of stressful years in a row and this is not the year for you to be disciplined, but a year for you to give yourself a break. Your focus is one of finding balance and learning to relax.

What ever your word – it is something personal that you select based on this point in your life. It gives you a focus on how you approach all aspects of your life for this one year. It helps you determine the kind of person you want to become. Rachel Olsen, co-author of “My One Word: Change Your Life With Just One Word” says,

A word can’t be broken. It serves as a reminder; a filter. It’s who you want to be instead of what you regret.

For me, I like the word Grace. It is a good reminder on how to approach everyone in my life…from my family and co-workers to the teens and young adults that call my radio show to strangers that I meet. I want to show everyone grace. We all have “stuff” in our lives and the more grace I can extend each person letting them know that I understand life isn’t easy and I’ll love them anyway…the less uptight I will be from holding everyone to such a high standard and hopefully those around me will be blessed as well.

Grace is my word. Grace is a good reminder on how to approach everyone in my life. #grace Click To Tweet

So how do you go about selecting your word for the year?

Begin by taking some time to decide what kind of person you want to be. Then identify the characteristics of that person, and write them down. You might have a lot of words on your list now. Now pick JUST ONE WORD. Resist the temptation to pick more than one. With just one word, you can view all situations that come up over the next year through your WORD.

Don’t pick your word quickly or randomly. Think it over for a while. Pray about it and ask God to give you clear direction on your word for the year and then ask Him to help you stay focused.

To help inspire you here are some words to get you thinking:

Joy ~ Serve ~ Contentment ~ Connect ~ Detach ~ Purpose ~ Listen ~ Pray ~ Integrity ~ Still ~ Breath ~ Persevere ~ Advance ~ Care ~ Aware ~ Release ~ Forgive ~ Dare ~ Bold ~ Focus ~ Gratitude ~ Forgiveness ~ Hope ~ Intentional ~ Authentic

I hope you will give this a try. It’s not necessarily easy to stay focused on your word for an entire year, but hopefully you will see small successes in becoming the person you want to be and that God wants you to be.

Picking a word and doing something, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction and that one step could lead to the next step.

Don’t get discouraged if you lose focus from time to time. Any change you make with your One Word in mind is significant.

What do you think? Do you thinking picking a word for the year might help motivate you? Do you have a word that you want to strive for this year? Please share your thoughts in the comments below. Maybe you will inspire someone else.

If you are facing challenges in your life, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook library, with eBooks on Dating, Self-Worth, Depression, and much more!

Death in the Family

We had a death in the family…my little sister Bailey passed away recently.

Can you relate to Katy’s story about a death in the family?

She was everything to me, we would play together and do whatever we could think of. When Bailey started complaining her stomach hurt, my mom brought her to Children’s Memorial Hospital. Bailey had a cancerous brain tumor and her appendix was taken out.

A year and a half later she passed away. I went back to public school and struggled becoming social and being happy. I was brought to TheHopeLine for guidance and support.

Morgan, who spoke with me listened to me for a hour and a half and helped me through.

I made a lot of new friends in the last couple of days! Bailey might not be with us today, but thanks to Morgan I know she is with me. I learned how to trust in the Lord and I know that Bailey isn’t suffering anymore and she’s having princess parties. Thank you TheHopeLine for believing in me and helping me become happy!

Katy

Get your free guide to help you understand and cope with the stages of grief:

The End of My Grieving Process

Have you lost someone you love? Does your heart ache with grief?

Jordan Zehr, blog writer for HeartSupport gives us his perspective on the grieving process.

No matter what, in life three things are certain: we will be born, we will live life, and then we will die. Unfortunately, sometimes death plays a role way too early in life and we are left to bear the marks of that. Yet sometimes, life simply extinguishes due to time being done on this earth and it’s time to go home.

Some of us have lost friends, family members, co-workers and acquaintances to death in one form or fashion. Some have gone early and some have gone after living life to it’s fullest. Some by accident, some self-caused, some due to life circumstances, and some by the fortune of a life fully lived.

And I too, have lost friends. When I was in kindergarten or first grade, my friend TJ got hit by a train as he was crossing the tracks back to his home. And the way I dealt with it at that tender young age was to jump into my mother’s arms and cry and cry when she told me. It’s strange because at the age of six, I knew I would never get to play with TJ again and had an understanding of what death was. I used to think TJ got it lucky, he never had to experience the pains of life and the cruelty of the world. And yet I realize how selfish this was of me, because TJ didn’t live many of the experiences we will all have. His family never got to experience the joys of watching him play sports, graduate from high school, have a family, and all the other wonderful blessings that life has to offer.

During my freshman year of college, I was at a keg party when I got a call from one of my friends that our mutual friend Brian had passed away. The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I was 19 years old, and on my first spring break fixing to have a blast…. and this happens. I don’t remember a ton from that week, except numbing the pain with a bottle of Jack Daniels and sitting at a friend’s farmhouse playing cards, each of us remembering Brian in our own way. This was my first real experience with death where I had to process what happened and I didn’t know what to do, so I got drunk. And sure, it numbed the pain, the hurt. Man, did it hurt. Death very much became a reality after that and I even lost a couple more friends in college, but none of those instances really prepared me for what it was like to lose someone that was family. Someone that had the same blood running through their veins as mine.

A year ago today, I lost someone that close to me for the first time in my life. I consider that a huge blessing, being 28 years old and having never lost a family member, but inevitably, death caught up to me and took my first grandparent.

I remember getting the call from my dad a few days earlier that my grandpa, Jay Dee, had gone to the hospital with jaundice and they were running tests, and that things looked optimistic but were serious. My dad kept me in the loop and passed along my well wishes to him. I knew there was a ton of family there, so I didn’t call him that day, because honestly I figured between having to deal with the entire family and being in the hospital he was exhausted and I didn’t want to be the guy to call and wake him up while resting and recovering.

It was the single dumbest decision that has haunted me for the past year.

I woke up the next day and got to work a few minutes early and decided to check Facebook. The first thing I see is a note from my aunt that says her father has died. Instinctively I rushed to call my father because I knew why he hadn’t called and my first thought was, “I have to check on my dad.” He told me how late it was, and I knew he was in the room as his father left this world, so it was something I have never held against him for not calling me that late in the night to tell me the news. I also knew how hard that phone call would have been, and bad news is something no one wants to deliver, so in a way, I’m thankful I found out the way I did rather than having to hear my dad say his father had passed away.

Perhaps the hardest thing for me has been the grieving process. It, honestly, was something I never did until a few weeks ago.

My dad had called to remind me to call my grandmother on my grandfather’s birthday and for the first time, it really sunk in he was gone. Even after a family Christmas where he wasn’t there, I never really took the time to grieve. I pushed it down. I didn’t know how to deal with it. For the past year, I’ve held onto nothing but regrets. Why didn’t I spend more time with him? Why didn’t I go out on the boat one last time? Why didn’t I call more often? Why didn’t I stay for dinner that one time? Why, why, why…all questions rooted in something to keep me from seeing the beauty and celebrating life.

I’m not going to lie, it does suck having those regrets, because they were things I could have done. But, no matter what, there’s always going to be something we could have done or wanted to do. We’re never going to escape the ways we think, and regret is part of that.

But what about the good? There seems to come a time, when we lose interest in the bad memories, and instead see the good. I’m a people pleaser and hate disappointment, and I realized I had lived in the disappointment for far too long, mostly because I thought I deserved it. For every phone call I didn’t make or dinner I didn’t stay for that barraged my thought process there were also golf outings, fishing together on the lake, great conversations, surprise visits to graduations, and so many great moments that outweighed the regrets that ultimately brought me so much peace.

I was talking to my mom the other day about all of this, and wanting to check on my dad as well during this time. We ended up sharing so many laughs that evening remembering the things grandpa did and so many smiles at the man he was and the things he instilled in all of his children and grandchildren. To work hard, to take care of others, to love God, to treat others better than ourselves, and that kindness is better than anger. We also both remarked how crazy it seems that he’s been gone a year, when it feels like he’s barely been gone a day. I honestly see that as something so beautiful, that while my grandpa has been gone for a year, it feels more like I’m just on a delay until I see him again. There’s more beauty in that view of death than taking the long road of regret.

We have so many choices when dealing with grief. We all deal with it differently too. My hope and prayer for anybody reading this is that we cling to the goodness that was life and fondly remember the great times.

No matter what way death decided to take someone, there is always beauty left from life. #grief Click To Tweet

So this is for anyone dealing with grief and for everyone that will deal with grief upon losing someone we love. Do not live in the regret, but instead, see the beauty of times you have spent with that person and cling hard to those. They can literally be the difference in a years worth of pain or a years worth of happiness. We aren’t meant to live unhappy, and it’s ok to deal with the sadness of death. It sucks and it hurts. But no matter what, you’ve got to see the beauty in life, no matter how it was lost. I’ve lost friends to suicide, car wrecks, and cancer. None of those are pretty, but their lives were all beautiful and for that I remember that they brought greatness, if only for a brief moment, in a world that can be full of ugliness. I choose to remember TJ and his smile, Christian and his goofiness and love, Brian and his unshakable faith and leading me to Jesus, Justin and his love for wanting to tell people about the real love of Jesus, Jack, Kelli, Ted, Erin, and many others that for a blip on my life’s radar, brought me beauty, joy, laughter, and strength, all things I can choose to cling to when I remember them.

Don't live in regret, instead - cling to the beauty of the times you had. #noregrets Click To Tweet

This is the end of my grieving process. I choose to remember my grandpa as a man who loved my grandmother to his last day, who impacted countless lives through coaching and teaching, and who instilled a love and reverence for God in his children and grandchildren. I’ll never be able to watch a basketball game without seeing some player with his elbow out and hear the words of my grandpa telling me “Get your elbow in”. I’ll never go on a lake or play a game of golf without having fond memories of him and the goodness he brought into my life and those of everyone he impacted.

I know I’ll see you again Grandpa, but until that time comes, thanks for all you did for me and for helping form the man I am today. I’ll always remember the great times and the love you so selflessly gave to me, no matter what. I’ll never forget you. I miss you. I love you.

Do you have good memories of the times you spent with the people you loved and then lost? Share them with TheHopeLine in the comments below!

Guest blog is written by Jordan Zehr. He is part of HeartSupport‘s blog team! Jordan Zehr’s first love is God and then his family and friends. He graduated from Oklahoma State University in 2009 and is a self proclaimed fanatic. He enjoys writing, music, and anything to do with baseball.

Get your free guide to help you understand and cope with the stages of grief:

How to Understand Someone in Grief

by Dawson McAllister

Do You Know Someone Struggling With Grief?

GRIEF. It is one of those emotions that we wish we could avoid, but we will all, undoubtedly, experience grief at some point in our life.

Since the experience of loss and grief is universal and will impact most everyone during their lifetime, I wanted to write about it today. I want to encourage anyone who is grieving that whatever you are feeling after a loss is O.K., you are not alone and you will get through this.

If you have lost someone, I am so sorry for your loss. Allow yourself to let your emotions go. Please don’t bottle them up. I have heard it said like this, “It is not the grief you want to avoid, it is the pain. Grief is the way out of the pain.” These gut-wrenching, sometimes suffocating feelings you may be facing are signs that a deep connection has been severed. It is going to be painful. But the grieving is necessary.

It is not the grief you want to avoid, it is the pain. Grief is the way out of the pain. #grief Click To Tweet

Taylor called my radio show a couple years after her mom died. She is dealing with many mixed emotions because she didn’t actually know her mom that well, but she still misses her. Taylor shares how some days she stays in bed and cries all day, but she knows she can’t let her grief control her life.

Perhaps you have read about the 5 stages of grief before, but I want to share them with you again. Each stage is important as they allow the human emotional immune system to resolve the loss. However, the stages of grief aren’t always clear cut and there is no set time limit for each step. They simply act as a framework for healing. Do you find yourself in one of these stages?

Stage One: Denial, Numbness, and Shock

The initial shock serves to protect the person from experiencing the intensity of the loss. Numbness and shock are normal in this stage and shouldn’t be confused with “lack of caring”.
Denial or numbness can last anywhere from a minute to months, depending on the individual. As the person slowly begins to acknowledge the impact of the loss, disbelief will diminish.

Stage Two: Anger

Anger is a necessary part of the grieving process. In this stage, one may feel helpless, abandoned or powerless as a result of the loss.
Feelings of anger can act as a temporary structure to frame the loss and begin processing it. A grieving individual may also be angry at God, the person lost or in life in general.

Stage Three: Bargaining

The bargaining stage often involves persistent thoughts about what could’ve been done to prevent the loss or ways there could have been a different outcome.
If not properly resolved, the intense feelings of remorse or guilt may interfere with the healing process.

Stage Four: Depression

Depression sets in after the true extent of the loss becomes reality. Feelings of loneliness, emptiness, isolation and self-pity often accompany this stage of grief. After a major loss, those dealing with depression tend to withdraw from life and be in a fog of intense sadness.
Common physical symptoms of grief or depression may appear, including sleep or appetite disruption, a lack of energy and concentration, and crying spells.

Stage Five: Acceptance

Over time, the grieving person may be able to come to terms with their emotions and accept that the loss has occurred. Healing can begin once the loss becomes integrated into the person’s set of life experiences.
This stage is where one accepts that life is forever changed and must readjust to the new reality. This doesn’t mean forgetting the loss but rather rebuilding and beginning to reinvest in hobbies, friendships, new connections, etc.

It is important to know that enjoying life again does not mean that you no longer miss the person you lost. You are not somehow betraying them by moving on. Your grief has simply run its course.

However, it is also not wrong to keep their memory alive with a special object or planned occasion. Sometimes externalizing your loss in such a way can aid with your healing, especially during the holidays, when the hole left by the person you lost is felt more acutely again. Here are some ideas of what you could do:

Light a candle for your loved one.
A prayer before the Holiday dinner, about your loved one.
Share a favorite story about your loved one.
Have everyone tell a funny story about your loved one.

Perhaps as you are reading this blog you are thinking of a friend who has experienced great loss and you are not sure how to help them. You may even be avoiding the situation because you are afraid it will be awkward or that you will say the wrong thing. Let me assure you that the most important thing you can do is to just be there for them. There are no magic words to say to take away their pain. Your presence is enough. In an effort to make you more comfortable in these situations here are two lists…one is of things that are helpful to say, the other is of things to avoid saying.

The best things to say to someone in grief and what to avoid saying. #grief #holidays Click To Tweet

The Best Things to Say to Someone in Grief:

1. I am so sorry for your loss.
2. I wish I had the right words, just know I care.
3. I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in anyway I can.
4. You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers.
5. My favorite memory of your loved one is…
6. I am always just a phone call away
7. Give a hug instead of saying something
8. We all need help at times like this, I am here for you
9. I am usually up early or late, if you need anything
10. Say nothing, just be with the person

What to avoid saying to Someone in Grief:

1. At least she lived a long life, many people die young
2. He is in a better place
3. She brought this on herself
4. There is a reason for everything
5. Aren’t you over him yet, he has been dead for awhile now
6. You can have another child still
7. She was such a good person God wanted her to be with him
8. I know how you feel
9. She did what she came here to do and it was her time to go
10. Be strong
(Source: www.Grief.com)

Wyatt called into Dawson McAllister Live! seeking advice for how to help his best friend. A year has passed since his friend’s mom died and Wyatt has stood by his side, but now his friend is starting to act out. I let Wyatt know that after a year of “being there” for his friend, he has earned the right to speak the truth to him.

As you walk this journey through grief know that God is near. Even if you are confused and feel alone, God will never abandon you. He says in the Bible “I will never leave you or forsake you.” He also tells us to “Cast all our cares on him.” Keep praying and ask others to pray for you as well and God will give you a peace that passes understanding.

You can also request prayer here at ThePrayerZone.

God Bless!

Get your free guide to help you understand and cope with the stages of grief:

The Beauty in Pain

Do You Believe There Can Be Beauty In Pain

Guest blogger, Lama-Leah, shares her own story of how she found beauty in pain.

There is Beauty in the Utter Brokenness, Sorrow, and Pain of Life

The choices that we make every day don’t (always) solely affect us individually. They can affect our friends, children, spouses, the planet, and sometimes strangers who live across town or strangers across the world. Newton’s third law states that for every action there is an equal or opposite reaction and this can apply to many aspects of life. Some of these reactions can be positive; while some have negative consequences.

In life we all experience joys and sorrows. Some are fortunate to have few sorrows (at least from the outside), while others are not as blessed. Some are born into one parent, one small paycheck, households where abuse lingers in the walls. Children grow up and make their own choices and write their own stories and testimonies. They live life from a new perspective because for the first time the lifestyle that they choose is in their hands. I’m not referring to social class but I’m referring to the fact that they can choose a lifestyle of love or hate. Their own children will either grow up being cared for in every way, or they become victims.

When considering religion the question is often asked, “How can I believe in a God who let’s horrible events happen?” I have asked myself this question in the midst of the storm when God seems to be so far away. I have walked through my fair share of storms. I have pondered the lie, “How can anything good happen through my brokenness? I think that God turned His head away the times I was a victim.”

God has been teaching me about this lie that I believed for years. Yes, I was a follower of Christ but I did not understand and am still learning just how God works and there is beauty in the utter brokenness, sorrow, and pain of life. The first time I had a glimpse about how my brokenness has beauty in it was about two years ago. I was with my best friend at a church gathering and one of our other friends came in and she was hysterical. About anything bad that could’ve happened to a 16 year old girl had and her day was miserable; it was one of those days that had pushed her over the edge. She had expressed to us that she was suicidal. All three of us went into the bathroom to talk things out. As we talked, I learned that this girl and I had similarities in our stories and I did the best I possibly could to encourage her that things could and will become better. I’m not sure how much my words would have meant to her if I hadn’t walked through storms. That night, I started to see a small bit of beauty through my pain. Yet I have had a hard time believing that God was with me through every season and that He has never turned His face on war, poverty, world hunger, sexual assault, and abuse.

Beauty in pain can be as simple as having empathy towards others. #beautyinpain Click To Tweet

I’ve been learning that beauty in the pain can be as simple as being able to have empathy towards others who have been in the same situation as you. In my own walk, the times that I’ve had the most emotional healing was not when I was sitting in a therapist office (I’m not saying that therapy isn’t important because it is) or sitting in church. God has done the most healing when I’m doing something as simple as having coffee with a fellow Christian and they are sharing their own story of walking in the storm. I have a connection of pain with them when they share about life after the storm.

It’s the priceless feeling of knowing, “I’m not alone.”

Yes, we have Jesus but sometimes we need a friend here on earth to share our journey with. Having the honor to be a friend guiding and loving on the one who is still walking in the exact same rainstorm that you were once in is beautiful. THAT is when I know that God had never left me. I am beyond grateful for those He has given me to hold my hand while I’ve been in and out of the storms we have all walked through.

Newton’s third law states that for every action there’s an equal or opposite reaction. As we walk this life and deal with more storms than sunny days, how are you going to react? When others hurt you, you have the choice to do the same to someone else. Or you can use that exact pain that you have to empower you to help someone who has gone through the same or similar experience. THIS is how you can find the beauty in pain.

What situation have you been able to find beauty in the pain? How have you been able to help others through what you have experienced?

With love, LAMA-LEAH

Lama Leah is a blogger, supporter of the arts, social change, and God’s chosen people. Read more from her at her blog: Lama-Leah!

If you have been through some struggles and were able to find beauty in the pain, you can share your story to help and encourage others who might be struggling. SHARE YOUR STORY!

What Is Forgiveness?

by Dawson McAllister

Let’s talk about one of the most important keys to your happiness. It is a subject people talk about, but few understand or practice. Let’s talk about forgiving others who have hurt you.

There’s probably not a person in the world who does not need to forgive someone. Additionally, there is probably not one person who would ever say that forgiveness is easy. Forgiving others goes against our own common sense. There’s an old saying: Don’t get mad, get even.Yet forgiveness says, Don’t get mad, forgive.

To add to the challenge of forgiving, is the fact that most people do not understand what real forgiveness is and how to do it. Forgiveness is giving up your rights to get even.

I recently talked to a girl who was abused by her step-mother for five years. Her father stood by and basically did nothing while this step-mother did terribly cruel things to this 16-year-old girl. She told me she felt scarred for life and could never forgive what her step-mother and father had done to her. How sad that for the rest of her life she will let herself be stuck in constant bitterness, fear, shame and hate. I told her that learning to forgive those who hurt you will be one of the most difficult things you will ever do. But if you want to be happy, you must learn the art of forgiving.Every meaningful relationship you have will require some level of forgiveness at one point or another.

What is forgiveness?

According to the American Psychological Association: Forgiveness is the mental and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

I love what author Lewis B. Smedes said about forgiveness: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” There is no way to get away from our past and its effects on us. We can learn from it, but we can’t escape from it. We may forget it, but we can’t erase it. The only thing that can release us from the insane grip of a painful past is forgiveness. In fact, not to forgive is like drinking rat poison and expecting the rat to die. Forgiveness sets others free, but mostly, frees us.

FORGIVENESS IS:

Giving up your rights to get even. Brittany described it well: “To me forgiving somebody is to put something in the past and forget about it no matter what it is. For example, when I was 8 up until I was about 10 or 11 my dad totally ignored me when my mom and him got divorced because he married another woman. At that age I didn’t understand it but when I was older he divorced her. When my mom took me to meet him, to let him see how bad he was hurting me, he asked me to forgive him. So I did and I won’t hold it against him now because we all wanted to forget about it. Now I see him whenever I want to, no questions asked. I could have easily not forgiven him and never seen him again. But that’s forgiveness and everybody deserves a second chance.”
Choosing to stop feeling anger and resentment. Forgiveness is a choice to let go of bitterness while also letting out the hurt in a positive way. When we are hurt by someone, some awful feelings can come over us at a moments notice.Out of the blue sky we feel deep resentment, hurt, anger, and even bitterness and rage toward the other person. Forgiveness says, I refuse to babysit those horrible emotions. I understand they are toxic and can only hurt me. So I will not sit and sulk. I will pray out, talk out, write out, and cry out these emotions until they no longer control me.
Letting all judgments toward the person who has hurt you be handled by God. Forgiveness also means to let all judgments toward the person who has hurt you be handled by God. No one gets away with violating and deeply hurting others without some kind of consequence. But it’s not up to you to determine what that consequence should be. This much we do know: whoever has hurt you, has paid, is paying, and will pay, for their crime against you. Forgiveness is choosing to stop feeling anger and resentment to the person who hurt you, but letting out your hurt in a positive way.
Getting to the place where you can say, “I wish for you a blessing.” I want to encourage you to do what CJ did: “I grew up without my parents and was raised by my grandparents in a Christian environment. I had to forgive my parents for abandonment. I had to forgive their ignorance. I had to forgive all they had done to my family. I believe forgiveness is the most powerful thing if you need to mend a broken relationship. You forgive that person although they destroyed you, manipulated you or someone you love. That’s what Jesus did and I wish everyone else did too. The world would be so much better.”Fortunately she says she was able to forgive her parents, but that probably will never take away the memories that were caused by their neglect. Miraculously, a person can actually get to the place where they can say to the person who has hurt them, “I wish you a blessing.”Which means, I hope all will go well with you and you will have a great life. It is only when we get to this point that we are truly practicing forgiveness.

It is normal and right to feel anger toward someone who has hurt you. But hanging onto the hurt, and choosing not to forgive the other person is only setting yourself up for a life of pain and difficulty. You have a choice. Please do not give up in your journey to forgive those who have hurt you. The consequences of not forgiving far outweigh the work it takes to give up your rights to get even.

For more on how to forgive and why it’s so important for you to forgive, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

6 Myths About Forgiveness

by Dawson McAllister

Forgiving others who have harmed us is one of the most important things we will ever do. The happiness of our lives, or lack of it, rises and falls on whether we, by an act of our will, choose to forgive.
Our happiness, or lack of it, rises and falls on whether we choose to forgive. Click To Tweet
Millions of people are wrapped up in anger, resentment and bitterness toward those who have caused them great pain. For example, one girl I talked to experienced her mother abandoning her when she was only one-year-old, simply to follow a life of drug addiction. Another guy I spoke with has a father who spends so much time at work that he doesn’t know his own son, or even care to know him. The son is deeply hurt, almost paralyzed, by being ignored by his own father. I could go on and create an incredibly long list of ways we have all been hurt by someone in our lives. The fact is, we all have someone we need to forgive.

We need to remind ourselves what forgiveness is…

FORGIVENESS IS

Giving up your rights to get even.
Choosing to stop feeding the anger and resentment toward the person who hurt you, but letting out your hurt in a positive way.
Letting all judgments toward the person who has hurt you be handled by God.
Actually getting to the place where you can say to the person who harmed you, I wish for you a blessing on your life.

Now it is equally important to understand what forgiveness IS NOT. There are many people who refuse to forgive someone because of many popular, but FALSE ideas about what forgiveness involves. These wrong ideas, or myths, can cause a lot of confusion in our journey to be set free from our own prison of unforgiveness. So let’s examine 6 harmful myths about forgiveness.

6 Myths about Forgiveness

To forgive is to forget. You have no doubt heard people say you need to forgive and forget. It’s as though when you forgive someone, some kind of magical amnesia comes over you and you forget the horrible hurt that was brought on you. This is not true. Forgiving others does not eliminate the memory of their violating you. It is because we remember, that the need for forgiveness is real. Tiffany admits she struggles with forgiveness. Even though she doesn’t know it, she has a misunderstanding of what forgiveness is: “I hate it!! It’s so hard to forgive when you can’t forget.” When you forgive someone you’re not saying that you weren’t hurt or that you will forget that hurt. It did happen, but you can forgive, even if you still remember. But with forgiveness and time, that hurt will fade.
To forgive is to excuse or ignore the offender’s actions. If you could excuse the behavior of the person who hurt you, forgiveness is not necessary. In fact, what the person who hurt you did is inexcusable. We don’t excuse them for what they did, we forgive them. Usually a person who excuses, ignores, or quickly professes forgiveness to another is in denial.
When you forgive someone you’re not saying that you weren’t hurt or that it didn’t happen. Click To Tweet
Forgiveness will fix the relationship between you and the person who hurt you. You need to make a decision about whether to continue a relationship with the person you are forgiving, or if it would be better to maintain your distance. Just because you forgive someone, doesn’t mean you have to trust that person again. Forgiveness is a gift we give to others. Trust is something that is earned.
Forgiveness is a gift we give to others. Trust is something that is earned. Click To Tweet
For example, if you were sexually abused, that doesn’t mean you should continue to live in the same house or even have a close relationship with that person. To do so would be unwise, even dangerous.
To forgive, I must feel forgiving. So many of us base what we do on what we feel. We let our feelings dictate just about everything we do. That is a huge mistake. Many things we must do as an act of our will. If we act right, our feelings will follow. Forgiving someone is actually an act of the will. Forgiving is a choice you make, not a feeling you have to stir up. We forgive others not based on our feelings, but because it is the right thing to do. It carries with it tremendous consequences for good or for bad. So forgive, even if you don’t feel like it. In time, you’ll be so glad you did.
Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. Click To Tweet
When I forgive I only have to do it once. It is only natural to want to have some kind of emotional moment where we forgive and then everything is wonderful from that point on. This is usually not the case. I have talked with many people who, after making a genuine commitment to forgive someone, have had those same feelings of hurt, anger and resentment come over them again. Forgiving someone is a process. Forgiving and healing take time…the greater the hurt, the greater the time. As somebody once said, “When an offense from the past stings the memory again, the act of forgiveness is chosen again.” Jenn wrote to me and shared her struggle with forgiveness: “I’ve heard people who say that sometimes you have to keep on forgiving a person. My question is are you really forgiving them then? I mean, sometimes I say yeah I forgive them, and other days it’s like I’m so mad I just want to get even. It goes back and forth like that.”
Forgiving and healing take time…the greater the hurt, the greater the time. Click To Tweet
Jenn’s right in her thinking that forgiving someone isn’t just a one-time occurrence. You don’t need to tell the person who hurt you that you forgive them every time you feel the pain they have caused. But you do need to continually commit to forgive when those ugly, toxic emotions come back to haunt you again.
Forgiveness will make everything be the same again. Many people think once they forgive someone everything will be beautiful, much like it was before the other person hurt them. The truth is, even if you forgive someone, and the relationship is healing, things still will never be the same again. They may be much better, but never the same again. In fact, when you forgive someone, the other person won’t always respond to you the way you want them to. But remember, forgiving others is an act of the will where we give up our rights to get even. We forgive because it’s the right thing to do. In forgiving we let God deal with the results.

So to summarize, forgiving is not forgetting, avoiding, or excusing what has happened to you. You don’t have to feel forgiving to forgive someone. And just because you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean you won’t ever get upset and have to make the choice to forgive them again. It also doesn’t mean your relationship must go back the way it was before the offense.

However, in spite of these things, we must forgive. No one said forgiving others is easy. It is not. But the rewards of doing so far outweigh the challenge of letting go of your desire to get even. Someone once said, “Not to forgive imprisons me in the past and locks out all potential for change. I thus yield control to another, my enemy, and doom myself to suffer the consequences of the wrong.”

Forgiveness has incredible power, and I want to do whatever I can to help guide you there, so you can have the joy and the peace of being a forgiving person.

Rachel has experienced what it’s like to be a forgiving person. “I am always good to forgive someone because if I hold a grudge, it soon devours my positive being. It is a way to feel good about someone or a situation, without resorting to vengeance or self-inflicted hurt. It is just letting your heart and mind ‘get over it,’ to put it frankly.”

The spirit of unforgiveness and bitterness toward those who have hurt us is poison to our soul and destroys any chance for a life of peace and happiness. Don’t let yourself become emotionally and spiritually exhausted by refusing to forgive.

For more information on forgiving or seeking forgiveness, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

Seeking Forgiveness

by Dawson McAllister

I thought I’d blog on a topic few ever talk about, much less practice, but is incredibly important to our sense of peace and happiness. Let’s talk about how to seek forgiveness when you have hurt someone. When we hurt someone, we undoubtedly cause a broken relationship. Broken relationships are not healed without someone seeking forgiveness.
Humility is the key to experiencing forgiveness and healing. Click To Tweet
Alex wrote me about a horrible situation she got into, one that leaves her craving forgiveness, even if she’s not sure what will happen if she asks for it: “One night I made a mistake that I can never take back and it is killing me. I slept with my boyfriend’s twin brother and I am now two months pregnant with his child. I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend because I don’t know if he will be able to forgive me and I love him so much and he means the world to me.”

Most people never attempt to heal broken relationships because they refuse to take responsibility for their own actions, and it forces them to come face to face with their own pride. It’s hard to admit you have done something wrong and put yourself at the mercy of others. We’ve all seen people try to squirm their way out of a difficult confrontation about something painful they’ve done. The most insecure people use denial or blaming others to escape from having to wake up to their own failure. Being humble is the key to experiencing forgiveness and healing.

Humble yourself; it’s the first step toward being forgiven.

Vicki wrote this story about needing forgiveness: “Early in my relationship with my current boyfriend I cheated on him. I immediately felt awful about it and regretted doing it. Not too long after it happened, I told him what I had done and how I felt about it, and he was very understanding and he forgave me. Looking back on this two years later, I realize that we were (and are still in) a very loving relationship because forgiving someone after betraying them is VERY hard to do, but he was willing to do that for me and work on keeping our relationship strong.”

SO HOW DO YOU SEEK FORGIVENESS FROM SOMEONE YOU HAVE HURT?

Four Steps to Seeking Forgiveness

STEP 1: Admit to yourself you have hurt another person. As painful as it is, you have to come to the place where you admit you’re guilty, no excuses. Asking someone to forgive you requires a broken heart and a willingness to repair the damage you have done. It’s not just saying, Forgive me if you think I happened to have done something wrong. You need to understand the amount of pain you have caused, and accept responsibility for it.
Understand the amount of pain you caused and accept responsibility for it. Click To Tweet
STEP 2: Talk to God. Ask him to forgive you for what you’ve done and to give you strength to talk to the person you’ve hurt. God is very interested in you seeking forgiveness. Jesus said something very powerful about the urgency and the need to seek forgiveness: If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.(Matthew 5:24)

STEP 3: Ask for forgiveness from the person you hurt. If you are going to meet in person, you may want to write down your apology, and then practice saying it out loud until you are completely comfortable with it. What to say? Be honest. Don’t apologize just to make an uncomfortable situation go away. You need to clearly explain what you are sorry for, without making any excuses. You might need to find a third party to help you, especially if it’s difficult to talk face to face. You may need a peacemaker who can help bring some objectivity to the conversation. Don’t expect him or her to immediately jump up with joy (or forgiveness) the moment you apologize.

STEP 4: Let the other person respond to you without getting defensive. You may need to give the other person time to sort out their feelings. Don’t expect him or her to immediately jump up with joy (or forgiveness) the moment you apologize. It is important, if possible, to make sure the person you have hurt says Yes, I do forgive you.In so doing, they are saying, I’m not going to keep bringing it up or hold what you’ve done over your head.Sometimes when you seek forgiveness, a lot of people will then turn around and seek forgiveness from you.

Even if the other person refuses to forgive you, you’ve done your part to clear your conscience and show you want to change. In time, they may come around and forgive you. The best way for you to respond is to show yourself as continually trustworthy, avoiding opportunities to slip back into the wrongful behavior. But you did the right thing by seeking forgiveness, and your new attitude and actions will be the best way to prove you are truly sorry for what happened.

The best way for you to respond is to show yourself as continually trustworthy, avoiding opportunities to slip back into the wrongful behavior.

Let’s go back to Vicki, who concludes this topic very well: “When I look back on how thankful and lucky I was to be with someone as thoughtful and caring and understanding as my boyfriend, who had the strength to look beyond my stupid mistake, it makes it easier to give other people a second chance if they hurt me because I want people to feel how I felt, because it feels wonderful to be forgiven.”

For more information on how to seek forgiveness and how to forgive others, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook: Understanding Forgiveness.

The Shine Effect

The Shine Effect is a full-time, ministry minded, 4-piece energetic Christian rock/worship band from Jacksboro, TN striving to answer the call God has placed on their lives to serve Him and minister to others through music and testimonies. The band consists of Maria Roberts (vocals), husband Ben Roberts (bass), Ben’s brother Josh Roberts (guitar/vocals), Josh’s wife Christa Roberts (drums), and friend Kevin Winter (sound/lighting/merchandise). Josh was the lead vocalist of The Shine Effect from 2011-2016 until Maria joined the stage as the lead vocalist at the start of 2017.

The Shine Effect is currently on tour right now. #NewBeginningsTour2017 Click To Tweet

Find their 2017 schedule here!

In May 2011, The Shine Effect released their first full length, self-recorded album, “The Life. The Hope. The Journey.”. In March 2013, the band released their 6 song album, “With Open Eyes”, which was recorded at The Sound Lair with producer Miah Lajeunesse in Knoxville, TN. They released 2 singles, “Stronger (Hallelujah)” and “Your Beautiful Name”, from their “With Open Eyes” album, and received radio airplay on almost 50 radio stations.

Since May 2011, The Shine Effect has played over 550 concerts in 27 different states with many great bands and artists. The band has played and ministered at many different churches, youth groups, Celebrate Recovery groups, festivals, revivals, Vacation Bible Schools, Christian camps, Christian and secular venues, community events, fundraisers, public and private schools, county and state fairs, non-profit organizations, etc. Celebrate Recovery is a HUGE passion of theirs as they all participate in the program themselves! They have played, ministered, and shared their testimonies at over 125 different Celebrate Recovery groups!

The Shine Effect gets their name from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:14-16.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

The Shine Effect has taken this verse to heart and tries to truly be that shining light in a dark world. Their passion is to encourage the church and reach out to the lost through music and love, while making many new friends along the way!

TheHopeLine is honored to be partnered with The Shine Effect for several years now. They are an awesome group with a heart for God and they are changing lives as they travel across the country sharing God’s hope with so many. As they cross paths with people who might need help, The Shine Effect refers those in need to TheHopeLine. TheHopeLine is open 24/7 for anyone that needs a beacon of hope in a time of turmoil.

facebook.com/TheShineEffect
twitter.com/TheShineEffect
reverbnation.com/TheShineEffect

Want to learn about other artists who support TheHopeLine?” Check out our ARTISTS PAGE!

Age Doesn’t Matter…You Can Make A Difference

Today we are happy to feature Katie Davis as a millennial who is sharing hope. We continue to share stories like Katie’s to hopefully inspire you that your age doesn’t matter. You can make a difference in the world. Here is a bit of Katie’s story:

In December of 2006, 18-year-old Katie Davis from Brentwood, Tennessee, traveled to Uganda for the first time. She was immediately captivated with the people and the culture.

In the summer of 2007, right after graduating from high school, Katie returned to Uganda to teach Kindergarten at an orphanage. She made an agreement with her parents that it would only be for one year and then she would return to the states to attend college. However, God had a different plan for Katie. As she lived in Uganda and saw the deep needs of the people and began responding to those needs…one person at a time, the idea of going back to live in the United States became unrealistic.

During her first year there, she was shocked to see the sheer number of school-aged children walking along the road, playing with their friends, washing their families’ dishes, or digging in the fields. She learned that most schools in Uganda require school fees for attendance, making impoverished families unable to afford an education for their children. God laid it on Katie’s heart to start an Education Sponsorship Outreach which would match orphaned and vulnerable children who are unable to afford schooling with sponsors anywhere in the world. She originally intended to have only a handful of children in the sponsorship program, but in the first year Katie had 150 children sign up. Today the program sponsors over 700 children.

Later that year, in 2008, Katie established a non-profit organization called Amazima Ministries International. The word “Amazima” means “truth” in the native Luganda language. The organization seeks to meet the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of the people of Uganda who need it most.

Shortly thereafter, Katie was introduced to the Karimojong people of Masese. Living in poverty, and losing their children to malnutrition and starvation at an astounding rate, she noticed their desperate need for nutritious food. She started what is now the Masese Feeding Outreach which provides meals to 1,200 children Monday through Friday. This program allows the children to attend school and therefore not be forced to the street to beg. Amazima also provides medical care, Bible study, and general health training to the Masese community.

As her friendships developed in Masese, Katie wanted to help the women in the village provide for their families, for the Gospel to take root, and for them to be the change we wish to see within the community. She initiated a self-sustaining vocational program to empower these women to generate needed income by making unique Ugandan magazine bead necklaces. The necklaces made by the women are purchased weekly by Amazima and then sold in the United States. The money the women receive for their beads allows them to support their family and send their children to school.

All of this happened because one young girl followed the call God placed on her life…and it was never about her comfort or for her honor and glory. It was all about caring for the “least of these” for God’s glory.

Her work in Uganda can be hard and heartbreaking and at times frustrating. She wrote in her journal in her first few months living in Uganda that “Sometimes working in a Third World country makes me feel like I am emptying the ocean with an eyedropper.” What Katie has learned over time, however, is to be okay with knowing that while she may not be able to change the world, she can change the world for one person at a time and that is enough. She began to understand that God had one purpose for her, in Uganda and in life, and that was to LOVE the least of these…one at a time.

Beth Clark, who assisted Katie in writing the bestselling book “Kisses from Katie”, said it well when she wrote, “I’ve noticed something about people who make a difference in the world: They hold the unshakable conviction that individuals are extremely important, that every life matters. They get excited over one smile. They are willing to feed one stomach, educate one mind, and treat one wound. They aren’t determined to revolutionize the world all at once; they’re satisfied with small changes. Over time, though, the small changes add up. Sometimes they even transform cities and nations, and yes, the world.”

This calling to respond to the needs of one person at a time, led her to the amazing decision to adopt 13 daughters by the time she was 22 years old. The first three little sisters she adopted were living on their own in a mud house when it collapsed on the oldest sister, Agnes, who was 9 years old at the time. Their father had died of AIDS and the mother had disappeared. They had a grandma who provided a little food when she could, but typically their days consisted of digging in the field for a little something to eat and walking miles to and from the nearest well with a large plastic jug to collect the day’s water. After the house collapsed, neighbors brought Agnes to the hospital. When Katie heard of this tragedy, she decided to go to the hospital to pray for this little girl. What she discovered was that she was lying there, untreated, because no one would pay for her care. Katie agreed to pay the $20 to cover her treatment and took the younger two sisters home with her until Agnes was better, but one thing led to another and Katie knew she needed to be the forever home for these girls and 10 more who would enter her life at different times.

Katie wrote in her book, “I believe there is only one truly courageous thing we can do with our lives: to love unconditionally. Absolutely, with all of ourselves, so much that it hurts and then more.”

To learn more about Katie and the Amazima ministry visit www.amazima.org.

Or get the book – Kisses for Katie http://www.amazimastore.org/products/kisses-from-katie

Jai McVay Wins Gracie Awards

by Dawson McAllister

Congratulations Jessica!

May 26, 2016, BURBANK, CA”Benztown, an international radio imaging, production library, programming, jingles and voice-over services company, announces that the Alliance for Women in Media Foundation (AWMF) honored nationally syndicated radio personality, Jessica JaiMcVay with two 2016 Gracie Awards for outstanding achievement in programming. The Gracie Awards celebrate women by recognizing their outstanding achievements across all sectors in media. McVay earned two national Gracies this year for her work as Co-Host of the weekly talk radio shows, Dawson McAllister Live With Jessica McVay and Dawson McAllister Late Nights, heard on over 50 radio stations across the U.S. and Canada, including a Gracie for Public Service Announcement, McVay Minutefor Dawson McAllister Association. McVay’s recognition comes in a record-breaking year, in terms of total number of submissions for Gracie Awards consideration.

The 41st annual Gracie Awards, which support AWMF’s educational programs, charitable activities, public service and scholarship campaigns that benefit women in media, were presented at a gala awards show at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Beverly Hills, CA. Jai McVay accepted her award along with fellow national honorees including: Tina Fey, Angela Bassett, Cynthia Nixon, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vera Farmiga and Kathie Lee Gifford.

McVay joined the Dawson McAllister Association in May of 2012 as Dawson’s “Online Connection”, moving to full Co-Host of Dawson McAllister Live and Dawson McAllister Late Nights in early 2015. As Co-Host, McVay gives loving advice and encouragement on-air to hurting teens and young adults on 50 radio stations across the U.S. and Canada six nights a week.

Personal Message to Prayer Champions

Helping People Live Their Best Story

by Dawson McAllister

In Every Story:
How One Guy Is Helping People Live Their Best Story

I sat in the back of a fourth-grade classroom in Kenya and told God that if He gave me something meaningful and purposeful to do with my life, I wouldn’t quit unless it was complete or He said it was time to quit. – Derek Snook, a Millennial

How is Derek helping others LIVE THEIR BEST STORY?

While living and working in Africa Derek realized, “There was often a disconnect between those who wanted to help, those who really understood how to help and those on the receiving end.” Having previously volunteered at the Star Gospel Mission, a men’s homeless shelter, Derek decided to spend a year living at the shelter. The hardest part of his experience was being a day laborer. Day labor was one of the most miserable and demeaning things I’ve done Derek said.
There was often a disconnect between those who wanted to help and those on the receiving end. Click To Tweet
Because of this life-changing and eye-opening experience, Derek Snook turned a problem into a passion. Derek started his own company to empower people to “Live Their Best Story.” This is the mission of “In Every Story Labor Services.”

What makes IES different from other labor companies?

Starting wages are higher
Workers are paid weekly instead of daily (to help gain skills for long-term employment)
After working 150 hours you automatically get a share of IES profits (and the longer you work, the more your share goes up)
Relationship building is a priority (i.e. team building and accountability)
Celebration (IES celebrates each time a worker is hired full-time – check out their stories here)

Derek made many friends and gained a lot of wisdom while living at the Star Gospel Mission. The wisdom he gained is relevant and real. The following is an excerpt from a memoir he is writing,
Want versus Need
“I learned a lot about what it really takes to survive while I lived at the Star Gospel Mission. For me, seeing the men at the mission really changed my perspective. It made me wonder why we think we need so much to survive, and helped me see the dysfunction of healthy wants becoming needs. It’s not that I solved the problem, either, and I write this as one erring soul to another.

In general, I learned like most things in life, less is more. I can answer the question What do you really need to survive? with simply, God. I can answer it by adding to God, food, water, shelter and clothing. Or I can add to that a vehicle, family, and house. Or I can add to that not just any vehicle but a SUV, not just any family but one with a hot wife and 2 well-behaved children (one boy and one girl, duh), and not just any house but a brick one in a nice neighborhood.

Or I can answer it by simply, I need just as much as the people around me because the real issue is their approval. Or maybe just a little more than everybody around me because the real issue is I need to feel superior…Which means the answer of what you need to survive actually changes depending on if you’re born in the USA or Bangkok.

What do you really need to survive? Click To Tweet

To be honest I feel like this question more pointedly attacks me because I’ve tried taking it by the horns and answering it for myself rather than simply keeping quiet, staying in line, and going with the flow. Thoughtless is the man who abandons his ideals, surrendering himself to the common fate, says “Autobiography of a Yogi.” And so, daily this question hides behind a corner on my walk to work and tries to mug me. Put your hands up and give me all your joy! it screams. Some days the question wins and makes me sad and depressed and I’m sure no girl will ever want to marry me and my future will end living in a van down by the river.

In general I’ve accepted the tension between what I want and what I need and that there’s a force out there trying to move healthy things from my want list to the need list, at which point they become chains. What I gained from the mission was not a clear understanding of a right or wrong answer but instead the insight it’s a serious question my life is too short not to consider now. Rather than let other people tell me what I need to live I should have the courage to decide for myself. Because however I answer the question, What do you really need to survive? will ultimately determine what I can accomplish with my life.”

Want more? Watch Derek’s TEDxCharleston talk here.
You can follow In Every Story on Facebook or check out their website here.

7 Things I Learned About Prayer

by Dawson McAllister

7 Things My Son’s Accident Taught Me About Prayer

On December 12 of 2010 my team sent out this e-mail on my behalf:

This is an urgent prayer request…
Dawson’s 25 year old son Fulton was involved in a serious traffic accident on Saturday. He suffered severe head trauma and is in a coma. The doctors said their #1 job is to reduce the life threatening swelling on his brain. They have listed his chances of survival as 60/40, but indicate that the longer he survives the better his chances become. Please pray for Fulton, for Dawson, for their entire family. Please feel free to share this with all those you know who would be willing to pray.

Since that day, I have sent out updates every week to my very faithful prayer champions, and I continue to do so today. I know without a doubt that the power of prayer has gotten us through to this point. Along the way, I have learned some very important lessons about prayer. I want to share a few of those with you today along with excerpts from my prayer journal that I have e-mailed to my prayer champions:

1. The ONLY source of real hope in times of trouble is to bring our burdens to God in prayer, trusting that God is good and in control of everything.[Tweet This!] Putting my hope in doctors or in Fulton or in the next therapy or in myself has always left me empty. Putting my hope in God’s love and provision fills me with peace.

December 17, 2010 (One week after the accident)
I am fighting battles with grief and anxiety, but God has been faithful to give me peace that He is working all things together for good. I will never be the same. There is a huge ache in my heart, but I have handed my son over to the Lord and told him that whatever brings Him the most honor and glory are what I want from this.”

January 7, 2011
I went to the studio Sunday night, put on my headphones and took calls from teenagers and young adults like I have for every week for 20 years. Do I have moments of fear and anxiety? Of course, but these moments have been dwarfed by my confidence that God is sovereign and in full control. How is it that I could stay calm and strong? Your prayers!

January 14, 2011
I was given a quote that spoke to me, “There is nothing – no circumstance, no trouble, no testing – that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment; but as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is.” Alan Redpath

March 11, 2011
We have no place to go but to trust God and persevere with His merciful help.

2. Spill your heart out to God in prayer¦even when you’re angry.[Tweet This!] He already knows your heart and is merciful. I often found myself crying out to God in anger and with big questions, like Why me?!?God always mercifully directed me back to His goodness and love.

December 16, 2011
A year has passed, and as I thought back to that awful morning a year ago, I burst into tears and sobbed uncontrollably. I wish I could tell you they were tears of joy or hope or even of thankfulness for the progress Fulton has made, but they were not. Instead they were tears of anger, resentment, and fear. I even regressed further and asked the most basic plea of all, “God, why me?” The simple answer to that plea is, why not me? God owes us nothing but judgment.

Sometimes people come up to me and tell me how amazed they are at how strong we have been. This is very kind of them to say but they don’t realize the many failures along the way. So, after regaining my composure, I confessed to God my ungratefulness and lack of faith. He comforted me and soon I was dressed and ready to go work with my son at the rehab center. We had a great day together.

September 19, 2014
I hope you are having a great day. Got to hang on to the good ones and reinterpret the ones that aren’t. This heartache with Fulton has taught me many things. For example, it is easy to really get angry at God for what has happened. I always thought I would grow past this blatant show of self-centeredness and faithlessness, but sometimes I don’t. I am trying to find practical ways to get past this stumbling block because to stay angry at God puts me in a very dark place.

3. Offer prayers of Thanksgiving in the midst of your struggles. [Tweet This!] I have learned to shift my focus off of my problems and onto my blessings, and this has made all the difference.

September 19, 2014
One thing I am trying to do when anger comes is replace it with as many thanks to God as I can possibly think of. For example, I thank God that¦

Fulton is still alive
He is right with the Lord
We can still communicate together
We are closer today than I ever thought we could be
Fulton seems to be at peace
Fulton has touched many, many lives

Giving thanks and praising God wipes away the tears of hurt, anger, and heartache. Sometimes I don’t want to thank God; I just want to stay stuck in my rage. But what a gracious God we have, who delivers us from the dark times and puts thankfulness in our hearts.

June 10, 2011
It can be difficult, to say the least, watching Fulton suffer day in and day out. It is easy to look on the dark side of the situation and become depressed and withdrawn. This is not what God would have us do.

I received a message on the wall of my Facebook page from a woman who heard about Fulton’s tragedy. She wrote: “In the end, everything will be ok. If it’s not ok, then it’s not the end! Chin up Dawson! You have a whole lot to be thankful for, you can still tell your son ‘I love you’, you can still watch him breathe while he sleeps, you can still see his face every day, etc. You have a miracle already happening right in front of you! EVERYTHING happens for a reason!” Her post really spoke to me. There is so much to be thankful for in this crisis. God is at work in ways we will never understand, but He is doing some wonderful things all around us.

I don’t know what you are going through, but I can assure you God is in the middle of it doing wonderful things you can’t even see.

4. God hears everyone’s prayers “ Not just the superChristians.[Tweet This!] So many people have prayed for Fulton. It is humbling. Doctors have kneeled beside his bed, nurses & therapists have prayed with me for Fulton. I’ve received countless e-mails from teens and young adults who listen to my radio show saying they are praying. All their prayers have the same power to the ears of God!

April 8, 2011
Several youth groups came last week to the nursing home to hear our story and meet Fulton. It was very moving as we wheeled him out in front of the audience. After the meeting, my son was taken back to his room and put to bed. Two older teenage guys approached me and asked if they could go back to Fulton’s room to pray for him. These guys were pretty rough characters, but so what? They wanted to pray for my son. One of the boys prayed quietly, the other prayed out loud. It was one of the most loving prayers I have ever witnessed. As he prayed for Fulton he patted him on the shoulder and neck to show his love and respect for him. Later I found out these young guys had only been Christians for two weeks. I got to thinking how love never fails and God heard their prayers as much as the greatest Theologian who ever lived. It was a moment I will never forget.

“A prayer offered by the humblest and most obscure saint demands the complete attention of God, and the performance of His program.” – Oswald Chambers

5. Surround yourself with people who will pray for you. [Tweet This!]Without a doubt, God has responded to the prayers of thousands of people who have prayed for Fulton. Their prayers have been a source of comfort, strength and healing.

July 29, 2011
Crunch time comes in the middle of a crisis and only the strong survive. By strong, I mean those who are prayed for, encouraged by God’s Word, and have strong people around them.

My son hasn’t stood up in seven months. He has either been in bed or in a wheel chair. Recently the staff at the nursing home announced that they were going to help Fulton stand. The rehab people use what they call a “standing table.” As I watched him positioned at the standing table, I noticed something else – It took five people to help hold him in place to support him. It was quite a sight to see. Then I got to thinking, “God wants us to stand… but not alone.” Even when we can’t support ourselves in our life’s struggles, He will hold us up and send people to help us stand.

August 23, 2013
At an event this week, several people came to me wanting to know all about Fulton. I was amazed at many of them who assured me they were praying for Fulton on a daily basis. I was so encouraged. Think of the thousands of prayers offered up for Fulton. It has and will make a significant difference in his life.

Many people relayed to me their belief that Fulton will slowly but surely continue to heal. I believe them. Not only because I see it, but also these people have been with God, and God has spoken to them as they cry out for healing. That’s what powerful prayer is all about: great perseverance, asking and believing God will do miracles, even while listening to His response.

I hope you will get to experience the tremendous encouragement from those who daily pray for you and listen to God for His response. There’s nothing quite like it.

January 10, 2014
In no way has our family had to face this ordeal alone. So many people have sent messages assuring me of their prayer and support. One woman in particular deeply touched me when she wrote, I heard about Fulton on the radio and I immediately pulled off the road to pray for him.What a beautiful picture of love; one woman in her car on the side of the road praying. No one driving by that night knew what she was doing, but God certainly did. And He answered her prayer.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT)

***If you have not experienced the power of people praying for you, please go to ThePrayerZone right now and ask for prayers. You are NOT alone.

6. Don’t give up. Pray continually even when change isn’t obvious. [Tweet This!] I continue to learn the hard lesson of waiting on the Lordand continuing to pray as He teaches me patience in His timing.

February 18, 2011
I found myself muttering to God, “come on, God, do something!”
It was then I realized I was having a patience problem. As good as God has been to my family and me, I wanted Him to do more and I wanted it then. In fact, I wanted everything on my time table. God made it clear to me I was failing the ‘wait on God’ test.

It’s hard to wait on the Lord because when we do, we are saying we have no control over the situation. All we can do is pray and wait. That in itself takes courage and faith. I believe my son will talk again. But rest assured when he does, it will be on God’s timing – not mine, and it will be the best time ever. It will be on God’s clock.

August 17, 2012
I am finding that Fulton’s very slow recovery has exposed gaps in my thinking. For example, there is the saying, pray until something happens.It is a Biblical thought. To me it means never give up…you pray and fight, believing God is at work and will bring whatever miracles you need, which in my case is Fulton’s healing.

I think God does not want us to be satisfied with the broken things of this world. He wants us to do all we can to repair and redeem broken things wherever we find them. But in the midst of our struggle to do this, he patiently calls us to trust him “ to be so confident in his loving faithfulness that we are at peace with what he gives or allows each day. So how do we reconcile our struggles with God’s trustworthiness? How do we come to this peace? Only one way; PRAYER.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.(Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)

God says pray militantly, and He will give us peace. Put another way, do what God says and rest in it. Let God deal with the space between hope and reality.

September 25, 2014
I trust all is well with you today. I was thinking the other day about what has impressed me the most during this long journey: It’s the continual, consistent, persevering prayers you have offered up for my son. Which begs the question: as beautiful as those prayers are, have they been answered? Not all (yet), but many more than I first imagined.
For example,

Fulton is alive after being three times on the edge of death.
His mind seems to be getting sharper every day.
He has the patience to endure frustrating moments along the way.
He has touched more lives than one could ever imagine.
He is loved wherever he goes.
His love for God is obvious.
He laughs a lot.

All of these answered prayers are just the tip of the iceberg. But God has made it clear; He has answered those many persevering prayers.

Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints.Ephesians 6:18

7. Prayer brings victory. [Tweet This!] Sometimes those victories are small and sometimes they are huge, but they are always there. Here are a few of the many miracles I have been privileged to witness along the way.

July 15, 2011
Six months have passed since Fulton’s accident. And this week was good. A friend of mine was teaching Fulton how to kick-box from his wheelchair. I was so excited that I went and found one of the main nurses to come watch. While we were watching him kick away, he suddenly broke into a full-fledged smile. The smile was not contorted in any way and looked completely natural. We were astounded and our eyes filled with tears. We could not deny what we had just witnessed. I turned to my friend and said “Did you see him smile? It’s a miracle!

August 31, 2012
Fulton has a smile on his face most of the time and appears to be happy. I happened to mention to my wife that Fulton is happier now than he has ever been. Even though my son has serious handicaps, he has learned how to be content. God has given him a sense of peace and a deep contentment about his circumstances. To have God’s contentment and peace is priceless, but not always easy to come by. There are millions of people who physically are in much better shape than Fulton, but they have no contentment or peace. This happiness is from God.

August 15, 2014
Your prayers have saved my son’s life. Three days ago he had a fever of 104 degrees, pneumonia in both lungs and was put on a ventilator to survive. I will never forget the fear and panic I saw in his face because he could not breathe.

But God, in His great mercy, saved Fulton yet again. His temperature is back to normal and he is scheduled to come off of the ventilator today. Although he is still in the ICU, he has come a long way from where he was Tuesday night. Thank you for loving Fulton through your prayers.

July 31, 2015
Fulton is still growing. He continues to be more alert, stronger, and winning the battle against depression. He’s obviously at another level from where he was. Your prayers have meant so much to him and all of us. I said to him the other day, Son, I am not exaggerating when I say at least a hundred thousand people worldwide have prayed for you, and that is why God is healing you one cell at a time.He, with a big smile on his face, gave me a huge thumbs up. He knows without your prayers he would have been gone a long time ago. He has the comfort of experiencing the power of other people’s prayers.

September 18, 2015
Praise God that Fulton experienced a breakthrough this last week. The right side of his body has been paralyzed since the accident. From time to time he would move his right foot slightly. But for the last two and a half years it has been dormant. Last week my friend Randy and I were with Fulton challenging him to lift that leg. He did it in front of our very eyes. He lifted it higher than he ever has. It was a beautiful thing to watch.

The Bible says, No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.(Romans 8:37 NIV)

So there you have it¦7 things I learned about prayer. Nothing else has the same power as persevering, intercessory prayer. Fulton is still showing signs of healing. I would never have thought it would take so long, but God has His own agenda in teaching us to be patient. He has proved His faithfulness to us one day at a time, and in some cases, even one minute at a time. And so, armed with prayer, we press on, one victory to another.

If you have never had someone pray for you before, please give it a try. I have prayer champions waiting to pray for you too. You can ask for prayers right now at ThePrayerZone.

The Real Meaning of Christmas

by Dawson McAllister

Okay, so What is The Real Meaning of Christmas?

In the previous blog on How to Give a Gift that Matters, I talked about how materialistically crazy Christmas has become. For many, especially children, the meaning of Christmas is simply how many good presents they get. But as we all know (hopefully), that’s not the real meaning of Christmas.

As we get older, we realize that there’s more to it than presents. Every now and then there will be a movie or news story on television about some truly generous giver. And with that, we are reminded of a better perspective on the holidays; that it is like Jesus said, “More blessed to give than to receive.”

So then, the real meaning of Christmas is giving, right? Well actually, no.

For many, Christmas is either merry or depressing because of how many good presents they are able to give. And for some, because their financial situation makes it very difficult to give, they have come to hate the Christmas holidays because of all the giving. Whether your focus is on getting presents or on giving presents – either way, the true meaning of Christmas is NOT about the presents.

So, if the true meaning of Christmas is not about giving or receiving presents, then what?

Many Facebook and blog commentators wrote that the most difficult part of Christmas for them was missing a person who was not with them any more.

Amanda wrote: The best part of Christmas is being with my family. the worst part is not having my grandfather here anymore. He passed away in august of 2010, 3 weeks before my birthday. He always was the life of every family gathering, especially Christmas when he dressed up as Santa. Every year when he dressed up I always had a picture taken with him…I’m only 22 and he’s been my everything. It’s hard knowing he’s not here. He got me Santa figurines every year as a present. Now i buy one every year to remember him.

Tragedy will always help us recalibrate our values. It shakes us up and brings us back to reality. Those of you who are regular listeners to DM LIVE radio program or who follow us on Facebook, know about the tragedy in my family; that my son, Fulton, was seriously injured in a car accident and was in a coma. There was great uncertainty about if and when he would come out of the coma.

Tragedy will always help us recalibrate our values. It shakes us up and brings us back to reality. Click To Tweet

It’s like the old Cat Stephens’ song (way before your time) “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”With my son Fulton’s accident I have been forced to stare this truth in the face. Yes, I’m just like the rest of you, and especially like those for whom tragedy (or near tragedy) is a reminder to us of what is really important. Christmas is so much more than presents, receiving them or even giving them.

So then, the real meaning of Christmas is about the people in your life that you love – right?

As much as I feel the importance of loved ones at this moment (and will be reminded of it every Christmas for the rest of my life) No, that’s not the real meaning of Christmas. There are people all over the world who love their friends and family, but who do not celebrate Christmas.

Okay, so what is the real meaning of Christmas?

I’m no Scrooge. Christmas is partly about giving and receiving gifts and it is about celebrating the family and friends in our lives. But the real meaning of Christmas is something even higher, bigger, and infinitely better than all of that.

Christmas is about totally pure, unconditional, irrepressible, inconceivably awesome, self-denying TRUE LOVE.

John was one of twelve disciples of Jesus, and he wrote the book in the Bible known as The Gospel of John. The word gospelmeans Good News.

John, Disciple of Jesus, wrote: For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

Christmas is about totally pure, unconditional, irrepressible...self-denying TRUE LOVE. #Christmas Click To Tweet

I like what Michelle wrote on our Facebook page. I could easily understand how Christmas could be the worst time of the year for her. But she seems to have put it all together, realizing the importance of the people in her life, the real meaning of Christmas, and because of both of those things, the true joy of giving.

Michelle wrote: The hardest part of Christmas was losing my mom on December 26th to cancer. The Best part of Christmas is celebrating the true reason for the season – the birth of baby Jesus and the HOPE He brings to all. Another best part of Christmas for me is visiting the cancer center where my mom had treatments and giving a teddy bear to a cancer patient from Build-A-Bear workshop in honor and in memory of my mom. Bittersweet moment but well worth the tears :o)

Allow me to share with you the Christmas story in this video:

Merry Christmas to you all!
Dawson

Tell Your Story (Video)

Tell Your Story – Spoken Word – (Video) By Jon Jorgenson

In “Tell Your Story”, Jon says: “I did everything I could to hide the life I was really leading….to make sure that nobody knew and I was succeeding.” Then by eventually telling his story, he gave others permission to speak and tell their stories. No one is perfect. No one is free from sin and mistakes.

Jon continues to say, “Everyone has a secret that needs to be spoken. Everyone has a silence that needs to be broken. Someone has to be brave enough to share their walk.”

Do you want to tell your story? Has your life been tough? Have you walked through some difficult things? Have you learned something that you think could help another? If this is you, then you can be a part of helping others if you tell your story.

Be encouraged and learn from others’ stories and tell your story on TheHopeLine’s “STORIES” PAGE!

View more videos from Jon Jorgenson and The Anima Series: HERE.

VANISHED Left Behind:Next Generation

Starring: Amber Montana, Mason Dye, Dylan Sprayberry, and Keely Wilson
Genre: Action Adventure Drama
Directed By: Larry A. McLean

Emotional Pain

Kirana Was In Deep Emotional Pain

I found this site when i was looking for something to read, when I was at the very bottom of emotional pain. And I sincerely thank God that He found me back through this site. Thank you also for HopeCoaches that helped me out by listening patiently and giving me courage to stand up again and move on.

There is no easy way to fix what has broken into pieces, but it doesn’t mean there is no way at all. Sometimes through pain God shapes us into a better person. It is all about choices we made and whether we want to live in the pain or we want to go through it a stronger person. Pain is one process in life, not an end of things we go through.

I found TheHopeLine really helpful as we don’t just get support, we also learn to care and support others who are really in need.

God is amazing to bring all these people together despite distance. I’m really thankful for all the HopeCoaches who are really being God’s hands and lights to my life. I now can see life from different point of view, a better one with hope and good faith.

I have made my choice that I will attend a church service this Sunday, I just need to be there among believers to be together with them to praise and worship God…it is so good to feel “He found me and I’m home now.” There’s a lot to be done with fixing up my life and emotions but I’m positive that with God nothing is impossible, He mends my brokenness and He give me peace and understanding which is a great strength to keep moving on.

Thank you!
Kirana (from Indonesia)

TheHopeLine’s eBook on self-worth gives practical advice on how to increase your self-esteem.

God Forgives

I had a struggle for a long time but at the very moment I’m typing this I know I’m free in Jesus Name.

Before, I always thought that God was getting tired of forgiving me because I always fail him and I would always do that sin over and over again. It’s a kind of sexual sin, I’m still a virgin but I did this pillow sexual fantasy thing. I asked God so many times to give me chance but I always failed, I always fell into temptation.

One time I was so anxious because I fell to it again, I know God forgives but sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve any of it, so I decided to search for a Christian counseling or line. I haven’t told anyone about my struggle until I joined here at TheHopeLine.com. There was a HopeCoach who talked to me right away, I confessed everything about that sexual sin. I’m glad they don’t judge people who are seeking help. I was reminded that God’s love and forgiveness for us never fails, even if we fail so many times.

Right now, I will pray harder and I will always have that verse with me -Philippians 4:6-8 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.”

So whenever the enemy tries to attack my weakness I can overcome in Jesus Name! I’m blessed that I found this site, it really helps a lot.

I hope that like me, whenever you have a struggle like this I hope you will always think that God loves us and forgives us. I’m starting my new life today, forgetting all those bad things and look forward to God’s best plan for me.

God bless everyone!

-Alexandra

If you have something you are struggling with and want a place free of judgement to get help, please chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine. Click HERE!

Forgiveness can release you from the insane grip of the past. For more information on how to forgive and why it’s so important for you to forgive, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

Your Love Music Video by Licy-Be

Your Love Music Video | Licy-Be

(feat. Miss Lauren & Amanda McCleary)

Licy-Be shares in her blog: “Your Love is intended to be fun, cheeky and light-hearted, however the lyrics are deep, expressing the love of God which draws us into worship and brings freedom! I pray that this song reaches out and speaks deep into the hearts of those that hear the words and allows God’s love to bring freedom.”

Licy-Be is a passionate and talented spoken word artist, motivational speaker and Christian rapper who aims to inspire, encourage and empower!

If you want to hear more from Licy-Be, visit her website: http://licybe.com/ or visit her YouTube Channel at: Licy-Be YouTube Channel.

If you need help with bullying, depression, suicidal thoughts, or anything else then chat with a caring HopeCoach at TheHopeLineTODAY!

6 Steps to Change Your Life

How to Change Your Life

Guest Blog is written by: Susan Gillpatrick, MEd, LPC, CTS with Centerstone (a not-for-profit organization, they have provided a wide range of mental health and addiction services to people of all ages for more than 50 years)

The Courage, the Risks and the Rewards

Life can be difficult and uncertain, especially when faced with the prospect of change. Although change is often the key that will positively alter the path of our lives, we shy away from it for fear of leaving behind our comfort zones and entering into the unknown. This fear robs us of our freedom to make the life choices that can bridge the gap between where we are and where we want to be.

It may take courage to move from the known to the unknown, but the price of growth is a sacrifice of certainty.

Six Steps to Making Any Needed Change in Your Life

1. Be Honest
  - Identify excuses
    You may be unhappy in a number of areas of your life but complaining about it does not change affect change. Are you just skillfully playing the victim role? If you have chosen to stay stuck due to fear, then the change you need is not going to appear on its own. Be honest with yourself. Identify the excuses and rationale that have been keeping you in your life as is.
  - Take responsibility
    Only you can change you. Motivation must come from within. Take responsibility and closely look at what part of your life has kept you imprisoned from your own potential. Don’t blame your own refusal to make changes based on external things. When you do this you give over all responsibility to things you cannot control. For example, I would have realized more of my potential, but no one was ever interested in mentoring me.
2. Accept Risks
  - Understand everything is risky
    Change is a fact of life and participating in change means stepping into the unknown. It means taking a risk. Wouldn’t life be boring if we always knew outcomes before actions? The riskiest step is always the first. But with every step in the right direction, your courage muscles get stronger.
  - Realize risk leads to growth
    Growth always involves risk, and risk always involves fear. Unfortunately, some people wait for an ironclad guarantee that everything will work out exactly right, until all risk is removed and they stagnate where they are. Don’t wait on the sidelines while the world passes you by.
3. Focus Priorities
  - Value your needs
    Many busy women (and men) spend all their time, effort and energy meeting the needs of other people. Remember to place value on your own needs too. Without a focused priority, you may become molded by your environment, and that will foster a stagnate life.
  - Value your time
    Do not play the when-then game. Don’t tell yourself, When the children are grown, I’ll take some time for myself. Or, When I feel like I can make a difference, I will look for a new job. Sometimes we wait our whole lives for a whenthat never comes. Value time and do not assume you have until foreverto take a risk and make a change that can excel your life in new directions.
4. Renew
  - Evolve rather than age
    Worrying about growing older is a waste of time. Celebrate the knowledge that aging brings an insight and personal growth that is only intensified through life experience. Instead of aging, evolve. Evolving changes your focus from fearing loss to celebrating accomplishment. What you have learned throughout your life can enlighten current and future generations. Having an evolvingattitude inspires authority to renew yourself and make whatever changes will lead you to that renewal.
  - Connect rather than wait
    Connect with others and connect to a larger perspective. Aging can bring worries about health and fears of loneliness and isolation. Connection brings strength when we feel we are weak. Positive relationships encourage and bring courage to make new and better decisions throughout any life transition.
5. Face Your Fears
  - Act before crisis
    At its simplest and most benign, fear is an internal warning cry that danger is nearby and we had better do something about it. Many times it takes a warning cry like a marriage failure or a worrisome medical diagnosis to realize we need to make changes. Do not wait for a crisis to occur to have an awakening about the quality and value of your life. Begin making changes now, and you will be more prepared once any crisis has occurred.
  - Do not let comfort control
    Move past the comfort of fears. Fears are familiar and therefore mislead us into thinking they are just a part of who you are. We ruminate over them, fearing they will control us and causing us to live our lives in a state of self-preservation. While life cannot be a 24-hour thrill ride, you deserve more than just contentment. Expand your comfort zone and allow yourself the opportunity for awareness and inspiration.
6. Imagine
  - Imagine the worst
    What, specifically are you fearful about? Name it. Say it out loud. Then ask yourself, What is the worst thing that could happen if I take this risk? Even if you run smack into a wall on your way to making a life change, then at least you will have gained some insight and knowledge. You may even find this knowledge gives you courage to tackle more risks. No matter what the scenario, you will have gained the power and influence to decide your own response.
  - Imagine the best
    Imagine how your life will be different and better once you initiate change in your life. Anticipate the joy, the excitement, and the empowerment that comes from being a leader in your own life. Begin with small steps, but take action. There are no microwave miraclesin successful life changes. It may take some time to see results. The only instant change is in attitude. You’ll finally be in charge of the direction and outcome of your life. Imagine the best, then live it!

If you or someone you love needs help, contact Centerstone at 1-888-291-HELP (4357) or visit www.centerstone.org.

If you are in crisis, call Centerstone’s 24-Hour Crisis Intervention Hotline at 1-800-681-7444.

Susan Gillpatrick is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Trauma Specialist, Certified Workplace Conflict Mediator, and Mental Health Service Provider in the state of Tennessee and a National Certified Counselor. She is Centerstone’s Crisis Management Specialist, she primarily works in the field with clients in critical incident response situations, and in Centerstone’s wellness trainings and presentations.

Make a positive change in your life starting today.

Here is something you can do right now. Start unveiling lies from truth. What can you say to yourself that is positive and uplifting and true?

Dear Self…you are worthy of happiness, you are beautiful and awesome, you are a light to those around you.

Watch this video from UNVEILED, called Note to Self:

UNVEILED is a campaign whose aim is to reveal or “unveil” lies we tell ourselves so we can walk in truth and freedom to fulfill our dreams and destiny.

Do you struggle with self-worth? TheHopeLine has created a free Ebook just for you. Click on the image to check it out. You are worth it!

What Does God Say About Who We Are

The Battle of Beach Towels and Droplets

By: Jenna (volunteer and blogger for MAM Morning After Ministries)

From the time we are born to the moment we die, the world we encounter is trying to coat our identity with their opinions. Daily, we are told something about ourselves. It may be a friend saying positive, encouraging words, a coworker belittling our ideas or personality-identity crisis or a random person saying something mean in a parking lot. When something is said to you as truth by another person, do you question it? Do you take a look at yourself and wonder if it’s true? Do you ask a friend? A family member? Or do you pray about it? Have you looked it up in the Bible?

If you’re anything like me, the answer is you probably check with God less than you do all the other options. Perhaps you didn’t even realize how much your identity is under the influence of the world around you. Are we letting lies latch onto your identity?

Think about your identity as a dry beach towel. Every day you lay on the sand and someone walks by with an eye-dropper and drops the tiniest bit of water on your towel. The mean girl at school you can’t quite stand up to: one drop. Your boss who harasses you: one drop. The girl on Instagram you think you should look like: one drop. Your friend that makes hurtful jokes: one drop. Your dad who called you fat: two drops. You cutting yourself: three drops. The person that abused you: four drops. The boy you slept with that left you: four drops.

Before you know it, your beach towel is soaking wet; it’s heavy and the color is distorted. It doesn’t look like yours and it’s uncomfortable to lay on. The reality is we let people dump lies on our identity daily – sometimes it’s something about the core of who we are, sometimes just some aspect of us – but lies all the same. We don’t notice the damp beach towel underneath us until it’s sopping wet.

So how do we keep our towel dry? We need to find our identity in the right place – who is the One who knows us best? What does God say about who we are?

We are NEW CREATIONS (2 Cor 5:17). You are not who you used to be. His mercies are new daily (Lam 3:22-23). Don’t let anyone tell you your past defines you.
We are ARTWORK. For we are His workmanship… (Eph 2:10a) The greek word for workmanship is poiÃ„ma. This word means work’ or of the works of God as Creator’. WE are HIS work; A masterful creation by a masterful Creator.
We are FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE (Ps 139:14). The word fearfully here means to inspire fear or awe and to be revered, honored, and respected. Treat yourself and others with honor and respect – that’s how God see us!
Our bodies are TEMPLES (1 Cor 6:19). Would you stand by and watch while people trashed the church building you meet in? Unlikely. If our bodies are are temples, then we shouldn’t let ourselves or anyone mistreat our bodies, take advantage of them or disrespect any part of us.
We are BELOVED and CHILDREN OF GOD (1 Jn 3:1-2). God is the perfect parent loving and caring for His children. You are not alone and you are loved.
We are FREE FROM CONDEMNATION (Rom 8:1-2) through Christ – we needn’t live in guilt and shame we can stand with our heads held high knowing we are loved as we are.

And there are so many more promises in the Bible to stand on. Every time the world tries to attack your identity, recognize it, deflect it with the scripture you know, and thank God for a chance to practice your faith and for the reminder that you are the child to the King.

Morning After Ministries’s goal is for you to know that you are LOVED, VALUED, and EMPOWERED to make choices that lead to a life of joy and purpose.

and connect with MAM on social media.

Website: www.morningafterministries.com

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/MAMministries

Twitter- @MAMministries

Instagram: @Mamministries

#MAMministries #BeyondCompare #CelebrateYourSelfie

This blog was written by Jenna. She is a native Nashvillian. She is a dancer, writer, and just-for-fun-photographer. She studies Public Relations at Middle Tennessee State University and choreographs for musicals.

Trying to Strengthen My Faith!

I’ve always been a devoted Christian and have always believed in the word of God, but a few months ago God had opened my eyes and showed me that I hadn’t been acting on his word like I was supposed to. I’d distanced myself from Him without even realizing it, and it only took a second for Him to show me this.

Since then, for the past few months I’ve been struggling with my faith and trying to increase it. I’ve been praying to God everyday, and even though my prayers have been answered and my faith has increased a lot since I first started on this spiritual journey, I still felt lost and incomplete. My mind would overthink things and make me question my religion despite how much I believed in God. I decided to look up an online counselor of sorts for some one-on-one help since I’ve never spoken to anyone about my struggles before, but then I came across this website.

I signed up and gave it a try and was in shock of how incredibly kind my coach was! They gave me advice and showed me that what I’ve been feeling is absolutely normal and was even kind enough to pray with me (by their own suggestion, actually)! After signing off with them I felt an incredible amount of relief and feel like I’ve gained a lot more faith in God after this. I know my journey is not over just yet and I still have a ways to go, but having this conversation with the coach inspired me and helped me to grow in my faith by just a single conversation. I’m definitely going to come back soon!

Heather

Salvation Found Through Dawson McAllister Radio

Found My Salvation Through The Radio

Hi, my name is Joey and I want to tell you about my salvation story. Back in 1995, I was 21 years old and a new truck driver. I am from the south and knew the gospel story but was not saved. That night was a Thanksgiving show and I heard a wheelchair bound young lady who had a list of things that she was thankful for. Her testimony blew me away and made me realize that I didn’t have what she had.

I pulled that big truck over at the next rest stop, got on my knees and JESUS saved my soul. I am still a sinner but now saved by the grace of God. My point is, you have a magnificent influence on those over 21, your ministry certainly had a eternal impact on my life. I hope and pray that this encourages you and your ministry. Praying for you all. I absolutely believe you are doing the Lords work.

In Prayer,

Joey

Teen Pregnancy

Well first off my name is Lisa. I chatted with a HopeCoach named Stephen a week ago and this is my update to him and everyone.

Basically, I got pregnant very unexpectedly. My boyfriend and I used protection, but somehow the condom must have broken because about 5 weeks after that I found out I was pregnant. I was really struggling with guilt and what to do about the baby. I felt so stupid for letting this happen. I’m 16 years old and a Junior in high school, I wasn’t supposed to have a baby or get pregnant.

But then I found TheHopeLine and I talked to Stephen and he told me that no matter what I’ve done or will do God still loves me and will never leave me.

Then Stephen got me help with a pregnancy center. After that I ended up talking to a few people about what to do with the baby. After talking and praying with my family and everyone I lovedI decided 100% to keep my baby. In 2 months I’m going to be a mom to a Beautiful Baby Girl and I know it’s not going to be easy, but God will always be there for me when I’m struggling. Thank you Stephen for everything and helping me to make the decision to keep my baby girl!

If you are pregnant and wondering what to do, download your free eBook.

How to Give a Gift that Matters

by Dawson McAllister

A Few Holiday Giving Tips to Help You Figure it Out.

Giving gifts at Christmastime is a beautiful tradition. There is truly something special about expressing our love for one another with a special holiday gift. However, I think many people would agree with me when I say, gift-giving has gotten out of control. In fact, based on many comments that I have received I know many of you feel this way.

One person put it this way: I am spending money that I do not have, buying stuff for people that they do not need and often do not want. But I’ve got to do it. Many people feel the same way, but no matter how tight money gets, they just can’t get away from the obligation.

With that idea in play, it is easy to get the feeling that your love for people is going to be measured by how much money you spend on them.

Here are some more comments:

Angela wrote: We recently lost our car n got a ugly 1 to replace it and drinks gas like water. I’m still living with family and I have a kid and a bf and both of our families have money problems. So while I try buy presents I gotta save for a car, support gas, and support necessities in the fams. I got 2 jobs but they’re both min wage

Tara wrote: What is the most difficult part of Christmas for me? Not having enough money to get my kids gifts. Had to borrow $ this year=(

Alma wrote: Feeling pressured to buy all ur family members presents, when u dont got money cos u dont got a freaking job!

Becky wrote: The most difficult part of Christmas for me is giving. not the act of giving. but trying to give ppl what they really want. im 13. really hard to get my mom what she wants when i have a budget of $50 total for presents

The lack of money for presents has become the most common stress point during Christmas, robbing the season of the joy and peace it should bring.

The lack of money for presents has become the most common stress point during Christmas. #Christmas Click To Tweet

I can really sympathize with parents who want to give to their kids. Kids don’t yet understand about it being the “thought that counts,” but they may not be as materialistic as we think either, especially little kids. How many parent have spent a small fortune on presents for their kids to open on Christmas morning, only to watch them spent the rest of the day playing with the boxes?

How many times have you gotten halfway through the presents on Christmas morning and realized if we stopped at that point, it would have been more than enough?

How did things get so crazy? A lot of it has to do with living in the most prosperous nation on earth. Yeah, I know, if you aren’t experiencing that prosperity, living in the midst of it makes things worse. Sometimes I think it would be easier if everyone else just wasn’t so prosperous. If you’ve been around grandparents during the holidays, you may have heard them talk about a small little gift they got for Christmas, a toy truck or a sled. And if you have been around your great grandparents, you might hear stories about getting an apple or a piece of candy for Christmas. It was their only present, they tell you, and they were so thrilled to get it. That was definitely the olden days.

A big part of the craziness is also the result of non-stop advertising. It’s like they grab our kids’ brains and make them think they are destitute without the latest toy or gadget. Beyond that, it seems that we have simply passed down the tradition from one generation to the next, each one trying to out-do the last. So, no matter how much great granddad talks about getting that single apple for Christmas, it doesn’t change things. It’s hard to put the materialistic toothpaste back in the tube.

So knowing that we can’t change our whole culture overnight, here are a few giving tips to consider today:

How did gift giving at #Christmas get so crazy? Here are a few tips to help you figure it out. Click To Tweet

GIVING TIP for those short on cash: Try this approach: 1) Find out what a person really wants; 2) go for the better gift, something that is a long-term keeper; and 3) get brothers, sisters, aunts, uncle, parent, etc. to go in together. A better gift from 2-3 people usually trumps several little gifts.

GIVING TIP for when you don’t know what to give: Ask for a Christmas Wish List from those you are buying for. Do you ever find yourself feeling the way Ciera or Heather feel?

Ciera wrote: What is the most difficult part for me? Figuring out what to get people.

Heather wrote: The most difficult part for me is having family members who will actually open up their gifts and say it’s not what they wanted. It’s hard when every year there is someone who is so blatantly ungrateful and unsatisfied. Kinda takes the Christmas spirit right out of me.

I think it is totally reasonable to ask everyone to whom you plan to give a gift for a wish list with price ranges from low to high. You might take the go-in-together approach on a more expensive gift, or you can go for one of the smaller gifts. Either way, by asking for the list, you avoid burdening yourself with the pressure of guessing what everyone wants.

GIVING TIP for when the joy of giving is gone: Consider making the suggestion to your family that rather than buying extra gifts for each other that you each give up one gift and use the money saved to buy something for someone in need.

Katherine wrote: The most difficult part is knowing that some people don’t get to experience the joy that it brings because they think that if they don’t have money they can’t enjoy the season itself.

Katherine can’t stand the thought that there will be no joy for some kids because they won’t have many presents. You can do something about this. There are SO many organizations in each town that do Toy Drives or Adopt a Family for Christmas programs. A simple search should turn up multiple options for you to give to in your community. You might be amazed at the joy that helping someone else brings to both young and old alike. And maybe if you can’t give a gift that costs money, you could serve others with your time.

Do you have any good tips to bring the joy back into giving gifts this holiday season? If so, please comment below.

What Christmas Means To Me

by Dawson McAllister

After all is Said and Done, it’s Still Jesus.

Christmas can be crazy and chaotic, but it is also a beautiful and meaningful time of year. I like listening to the classic carols, looking at lights and elaborate decorations, and I also love time together with family and friends.

I remember making wish lists as a kid by going through the big Sears toy catalog and picking out what looked the most awesome to me. When gifts would be set out under the tree, I would shake the wrapped presents, furiously trying to determine what was in there for me. I didn’t always get what I wanted, even though I admit I got more than I really needed.

Christmas can be so meaningful if you know that someone who loves you, is planning something special, specifically with you in mind. My parents did that for me while I was growing up. And now I get to do this for my own children. And I believe God is doing this for each of us everyday!

I recently saw a popular bumper sticker. It said, Jesus is the reason for the season.Not too long ago, I received a Christmas card that showed a picture of a young boy with unwrapped gifts all around him – almost overwhelmed with all the presents. The caption on the inside of the card said, After all is said and done, it’s still Jesus.I am a Christian, that’s why I find Jesus at the very core of Christmas.

After all is said and done, it's still Jesus.The Christ-child is at the very core of #Christmas. Click To Tweet
God came to this Earth in such an incredibly humble way in the form of a baby born in a barn stall. The Christ-child is God’s amazing gift to you and me. That’s why Christians celebrate Christmas. God has prepared something great for each of us, and the way to that life is through Jesus!

As you begin to see Jesus as God’s gift to you, than all the other things God has for you will be given.

Several years ago, I took my family to the Smokey Mountains over the Christmas holidays. We rented a cabin and just hung out. One afternoon we went for a ride deep into the mountains. We listened to beautiful Christmas carols and looked at the quiet beauty around us. I will never forget that time. There was no tinsel and bright lights – just the simplicity of a family thinking about Jesus’ birth and enjoying God’s creation. My hope for all of us is that we will have those quiet moments this holiday season when we realize what is truly important. Jesus truly is the reason for the season.

Have a very Merry Christmas!

How To Forgive

by Dawson McAllister

Over my last several blogs we have been taking an in-depth journey through the difficult topic of forgiveness. I say difficult because forgiving someone who has deeply hurt you is no doubt the hardest challenge you will ever face. But deciding to forgive someone who has deeply hurt you is also, unquestionably, one of the most important choices you will ever make.

This week, I’m going to walk with you step-by-step through how you can actually forgive someone. I truly believe this is the most important blog I’ve ever written. Because in the end, this is not simply for the person you are forgiving. Forgiveness is for God, first. For you, second. And for the person who has hurt you, third. So let’s get this started.
It's time to let go of your desire to get even with this other person. Click To Tweet

6 Steps on How to Forgive

STEP ONE: Write down the name of the person you have chosen to forgive. Underneath that name, think of the many things you have done for which you need forgiveness and write them down. When we realize how much we need to be forgiven for all the wrongs we have done, it makes it easier to show mercy to those who have hurt us. Keep what you have written in front of you as you go through this process.

STEP TWO: Realize forgiving others is a spiritual, supernatural exercise. In fact, it is impossible to truly forgive others without God’s help. God can help you forgive because not only has He forgiven tens of billions of people, He also has the power to help you, in particular. Just remember: He only helps those who admit their helplessness. You might say a simple prayer like this: God I admit I can’t forgive (insert name) with my own power. Please help me. Help me to understand how much You have forgiven me, so I can forgive the person who has hurt me.

Nathan commented on how he has lived this out: The hurt from the harm someone has done you is so big you cannot forgive on your own. I tried to put it aside, to rationalize it, even to blame myself for it. It was poisoning my spirit. Then one night I cried out to God realizing that this burden was too big for me alone. I laid the pain and anger and hurt at His feet, and He lifted the burden from me. It was only then that I could begin breathing in God’s love and peace and move on.

STEP THREE: You can’t truly forgive unless you have grasped the extent of the violation that has been done against you. With the help of a counselor, minister, or another professional, you need to seek to understand what happened to you when you were hurt and why it hurts so much. When we realize we can be forgiven for everything we have ever done, it is then we are able to begin forgiving the people in our lives who have hurt us.

Jane sent me some great advice: Let all the things that have happened roll through your mind, and let them pass through. Don’t try to deny feelings of anguish that you may have had. If you keep trying to smother that fire, you won’t help it. Allow yourself to experience the feelings you need to go through, then don’t cling to them, let them go. Try to focus on the good things the experiences have provided you with, however tiny they may be compared with the wrongs the person has done to you.

STEP FOUR: Now it’s time to make the big decision to surrender. Let go of your deep desire to get even with the person who has violated you. Come up with a prayer or statement announcing your decision. Here’s an example: By an act of my will, and God’s power, I give up my rights to get even with (insert name). I make a commitment that when those sordid feelings come over me again, I will release them. I won’t babysit them. I admit the feelings are real, but I choose not to be controlled by them any longer. Instead I will dwell on the good things I have learned from this experience.

I will dwell on the good things I have learned. Click To Tweet

STEP FIVE: Make a choice to have compassion on your violator. Look at them first, as a tragedy. In one sense they should be pitied. Bottom line is, because of their violation against you they have suffered, are suffering, and in the end will suffer far more in this life, or the one to come. We’re not making excuses for them, but we’re only saying they are pathetic, and desperately need our compassion. One way to show compassion is to pray for the person who has hurt you. Jesus said, “Pray for your enemies.” He knows it is impossible to continue to pray for someone, and still hate them. Then, while you’re praying for this person, ask for a blessing in their life. Pray that good things come to them. Wish them well.

Pray for your enemies. Click To Tweet

STEP SIX: Move on. It’s time to stop dwelling on what happened. By forgiving someone you’re promising not to bring it up again to use against him or her. If you are going to talk to someone about how the other person has hurt you, make sure this person is a professional or a wise person you can trust.

Jenn commented: Forgiving takes time. It doesn’t happen just once and it’s over with. But I am letting [God] take it from my hands and letting Him handle it. It is not my place to punish [the guy who hurt me], and I certainly don’t need to punish myself by holding on to that hurt and anger.

In conclusion, forgiving someone who has hurt you could be the greatest challenge of your life. But if you choose to forgive, you will join those who are not being destroyed by bitterness, anger, hurt or other toxic emotions. There is nothing quite like living in peace, knowing you are a forgiving person. May God bless you as you seek to be a truly loving and forgiving person.

Forgiveness frees you from the toxic emotions that trap you in bitterness and hate. To understand how to forgive and why it’s so important for you to forgive, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook.