Faith

Pornography Addiction: Being a Muslim to Christianity

Before I Became a Christian and Pornography Addiction

My life before Jesus Christ is an interesting story. I was not brought up as a Christian. I used to be a Muslim. When I was 9 years old, my family moved from Iran where I was born and raised and came to Texas due to a job offer my dad got. In middle school, I started to lose my faith and relationship with God. All of the issues in the world, especially the issues of terrorism and wars over religion caused me to stop believing in religion. I began to just focus on my selfish desires and going after immoral things. I began to develop a problem with pornography addiction. When I entered high school, my main focus was on pornography and sex chat rooms, instead of God or my studies.

God Used a Movie to Get My Attention

I had lost hope in living my life. I would ask God to end my life, so I could burn in hell and be punished for my sins. Then everything changed when I saw the movie, Son of God. God used that movie to help me regain my interest and desire for religion. After watching the movie, Son of God, I asked one of my friends if he knew of good churches in our area. He invited me to go with him to his Baptist church that Sunday. At first, I thought he was joking with me, but he was serious. When I went to that church, I fell in love with it and with God’s Word. After that experience, I decided to become a Christian. So on Easter 2014, I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior!

My main focus was on pornography and sex chat rooms. I lost hope. Then I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. Click To Tweet

My Family Was Against my Faith

When my family found out, they argued with me and tried to convince me that Christ is just a prophet, not the son of God. They wanted me to wait until I was 18 to become a Christian.

However, on August 10th I was baptized against my family’s will. My older brother threatened that I would be dead to him if I got baptized. However, I still did it because that was God’s will for me. My life after accepting Christ has not been easy. I keep getting persecuted for my faith. Every time I do something wrong, my parents tell me how can you do this and be a Christian or go to church.

7 Steps Towards A Porn-Free Life

God’s Message to Me

I have had times in my life where I thought God has given up on me, but through prayer and reading the Bible I was able to learn more about God’s great love for me. In my life, I feel I have had many miracles.

My first miracle was on Christmas Eve. At the end of the service, I heard God’s voice in my head saying, come home Reza, come home again to me. After I heard that voice, I went and prayed with a pastor. My second miracle was a time when God told me who I am. He showed me that I am his child that He loves me and has great plans for me. Another time God spoke to me through his Word. He told me that I should let him work things out with my brother. The most recent miracle came at a time when I was feeling depressed. As I prayed, I saw Jesus giving me his hand. It was as if he was saying, “put your trust in me and I will help you get through this day.”

What I have I learned from being a Christian is that, if it is God’s will, it will happen, no matter what. My favorite Bible verses are –

Romans 6:14, “For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under the law but under grace.”

Romans 6:23 says: “For the wages of sin is death, but Gods free gift is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”

In Christ Alone, Reza

Are you struggling with an addiction to pornography, know there is hope and Jesus loves you. Through His grace, you are forgiven and you can overcome your addiction. Download TheHopeLine’s free eBook today.

Photo Credit: Ashkan Forouzani

I Can’t Let a Broken Heart Break My Life

My name is Megan. I broke up with my boyfriend. We had a long distance relationship for a year and a half. During that time, he would say how much he loved me and that he couldn’t live a life without me and everything will be perfect when we are finally together in the same room one day. But those words were deceitful. He gave me this high hope. I worked so hard to save money so I could visit him. We’d been through so much together. I was blind to how I was being treated.

A Deceitful & Hurtful Relationship

I gave up a lot for this relationship. He said love is jealous, so I lost friends because he was very possessive. I even lost a career because he didn’t like my manager. He said the manager cared too much about me. My boyfriend demanded I talk with him when he had problems. I was always there to cheer him up. When he had issues, I was there to listen and to give him my opinion, when he asked for it. I gave him my all, but he never appreciated it.

He said all I ever wanted was an argument with him. If I confronted him about things, he would say we were not in sync. He would blame me for every mistake he made. When he got angry, he would talk to people online and tell them he was sick of me and call me names. Then he would later apologize to me and somehow convince me it was all my fault. He would say if I just wouldn’t argue with him then he wouldn’t do that.

8 Signs Your Dating Relationship Is Unhealthy

Enough is Enough

He broke my heart too many times. He cheated on me, but then would come to me crying saying all the right words. I was angry and disappointed, but I forgave him. He knew I would forgive him, so every time he would blame me for everything he did wrong. It was always about me not making him happy.

Finally, I realized I was a fool to keep the relationship going with the hope he would change. He didn’t. I began wondering if I am a weak person. Why would I love this man so much that I would allow myself to become so attached to him? I finally broke up with him. It was the hardest thing to do, and it hurt me a lot. I cried for days. I hoped that he would at least call me and ask if I was alright. He didn’t. I called my mom and she prayed for me in tears as she had to bear all my pain everytime this man hurt my feelings.

A Search for Hope

Not wanting to cause my mom any more pain, I searched the internet for advice on my problem. That’s when I found TheHopeLine. As soon as I logged in to chat, there was a coach available to talk to me. I didn’t expect it would work, but it did work. I told the coach my problem and the coach listened patiently and gave me some advice. It really touched my heart. Why would a stranger bother to listen and to give advice and pray for me? I felt like I was all alone with my pain, but here was someone willing to listen to me.

The coach asked me if I believed in God and tears started falling down my face. I had forgotten God for a long long time. Even though I had a good Christian upbringing, when I went to college I left it all behind. I thought God had forgotten me too because I had betrayed Him. When my mom prayed with me, I let her because that’s what she wanted. But when the coach asked me if she could pray for me, I knew I needed it more than anything. It gave me peace. I realized God had never left me…all this time He was around…watching me.

I know it is not an accident that I went to look for something to read and ended up at TheHopeLine. God led me here. I felt so dirty and so sinful. I felt I didn’t deserve God, but then my mom told me if you still feel guilty, it shows that God loves you because you can still feel it. If your heart becomes so stone cold and feels nothing, it means you reject God. That very moment I knew God never left me even though I turned my back on Him. He’s been there waiting for me, and He is using all that I am going through to lead me home to Him. I feel ashamed of myself, but also so grateful because God reached out to me through the coaches at TheHopeline.

It’s a Journey

I still struggle with my emotional pain. A coach reminded me that there is no easy way to fix my broken heart. When I wanted to harm myself, something held me back, and I went to talk to a coach instead. The talks with the coach really pushed me back to being rational. I could not harm myself for what I felt inside. It would not solve my problem. It would just keep me broken. I couldn’t do that to my parents or fail the coaches that God had provided for me. Why would I doubt that God couldn’t help me through this?

I can’t let a broken heart break my life. There is a choice between giving in to my pain or giving it all to God. I choose the second. I decided to let God give me the strength to endure my moment of pain, to let God walk with me in my darkest time, to let Him hold my hand and show me the way to deal with my brokenness.

The HopeCoach suggested I read blogs on this site, and, of course, read the Bible. It helped me a lot and I began to see myself more clearly. There are lots of people who suffer more than me, yet they aren’t giving in or giving up. We all have our own problems, even the coaches. Yet the coaches give their time to help someone in their time of need.

I can't let a broken heart break my life. I decided to let God walk with me in my darkest time. Click To Tweet

Hurt Again, but Stronger with God

After 3 weeks, suddenly my ex called me. He was drunk and crying. I asked what happened? He said after we broke up, he found someone else. He fell in love with her so bad, and he already had sex with her. But then he did something that made her break up with him. Hearing this stabbed me right through my heart. He kept on talking of how much he loves the girl and that he can’t lose her as she is the love of his life. He tried to kill himself to show how sorry he was to this girl. It caused my heart to break again to realize he didn’t feel anything for me while I was in pain.

But I knew the right thing to do, so I told him what the HopeCoaches had told me…to kill yourself over a broken heart is not wise. I asked if I could pray for him. He said okay, even though he didn’t believe in God. I put aside all my pain because his life was at stake. I asked God to give me strength because if God leads him to talk to me, then may I do that according to God’s will. So I told my ex, “Your life has a purpose, and to end your life because of a broken heart is just not fair.” He thanked me for always being there, but then once again blamed me! He said all of this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t broken up with him.

After that, I was just numb. My heart felt cold. I just cried out to God. What is it He wants to teach me? I reached out to a HopeCoach again before I allowed myself to be flooded with bad thoughts. The coach encouraged me and prayed for me. I realized God did not let me down. I don’t know where I got the strength to keep my cool when my ex called me. Somehow God filled my heart with compassion…giving me the ability to help my ex realize that no matter what happens, our lives have a purpose and that God loves him and cares about him.

God’s Love is Greater Than a Broken Heart

Through this whole experience, my heart was torn to pieces, but it is still working and is actually stronger than it was before. I have learned the only true and unfailing love comes from God. I am grateful that God showed me His Love. A love so deep that he gave His only Son to die for our sins. Jesus experienced all the pain and hurtful things that we do and so much more. He died for people who were cursing him, rejecting him, and demeaning him. He demonstrates a love that conquers all that.

Humans can hurt each other in every worst way, but God’s love conquers it all. That’s what I have come to understand from my experience. Yes, I still feel down sometimes, but I’m no longer lost. God is putting me back together. He is shaping me. I trust He wouldn’t let me go through all this without a purpose. I know He has a plan for me. A great one!

I want to thank all the coaches who have been there for me in my time of need, you are all God’s hands. Thank you to everyone who shared their stories here. Reading all the stories gives me strength. That is the power of sharing! God bless you all.

And last but not least…Thank you, God for this wonderful site, wonderful people, and wonderful love you let us share with each other even though we are all strangers. You are wonderful, God! There is none like You! Let us all be the living proof that You are God. Amen.

If you are questioning whether your relationship is healthy or toxic, we are here to help you through this.

Photo Credit: Brooke Cagle

Accepting the Love of God

I grew up in a Catholic home and had developed a huge resentment towards organized religion and the idea of God. I saw people go to church, preaching about being a person of God, then leave church to go treat others who were different than they were in a hateful, condemning manner. My ideas and beliefs didn’t fit into the strict mold of the Catholic religion. I believed that there was no creator of the universe because, in my mind, everything could be explained by science.

After being beaten down from drug addiction and multiple suicide attempts, I came to a point where I had no choice but to be willing to believe in a personal God of my own understanding. This is my story of how I accepted the love of God.

A Turning Point

I had tried to overdose on heroin several times, but each time I had been around other people who made sure I got medical attention. Each time, I was revived and woke up angry. I had been using heroin intravenously for four years, and it simply wasn’t working anymore. I couldn’t get high like I had been able to in the past and my life revolved around using. My days consisted of desperately finding a way to make money, to get drugs, to get high, and then worry about how I would make more money. It was an endless, miserable cycle. I saw no way out other than death, so I found a quiet place away from others where I was positive I had enough heroin that would kill me.

When I woke up, something was different. I wasn’t angry this time. I decided to seek out help from a detox and treatment facility where I was introduced to sober women who had overcome their obsession to use drugs. They unabashedly explained to me that I had two choices. One was to continue living the way I was living until I finally succeed at suicide, or accept the love and care of a God of my own understanding.

I had two choices, continue the way I was living and succeed in killing myself or accept the love of a God. Click To Tweet

A Realization

I began to pray and meditate, to the best of my ability, because I couldn’t bear the weight of addiction and my suicidal thoughts any longer. One day, I was doing a guided meditation before bed and a realization that I was blessed beyond belief came over me.

The numerous times I had overdosed, I was always saved. Even when I was alone, I somehow woke up. Regardless of the countless dangerous situations, I had placed myself in, I was miraculously kept safe and unharmed. In this moment I came to believe that some kind of power greater than myself was responsible for the entire essence of my existence.

I had done horrible things in the past. I lied, cheated, stole, and manipulated when I was in active opiate addiction. I came to the realization that everything that I had in that very moment was nothing short of a blessing from God. I had no money, yet I was given a place to live. I hated myself, yet women were placed in my life to show me love. I was a dishonest person, yet people still wanted to listen to what I had to say. I had caused so much harm, yet I was given so much grace. Due to my actions in the past, I don’t deserve the beautiful life I have today. However, God saw fit to keep me alive and give me a purpose in life.

Healthy Self-Care for People in Addiction Recovery

An Ultimate Test of Faith

My God is loving and kind. He does not condemn when I make a mistake, but rather gives me a chance to learn from my wrongs to grow as an individual. My God is always there, I do not have to seek him. The only thing I have to do is speak to Him, listen to Him, and most importantly – have faith in Him.

Believing in a higher power is knowing that there is a God, but faith is much harder. Faith is an undying, unconditional trust that God will provide exactly what I need. Faith means that no matter what situation occurs in my life, it is all a part of a grand plan that will, in the end, turn out okay. Faith is trusting that God is not only protecting me, but He is protecting my family and friends as well.

Nine months into my sobriety, my dad had a stroke. I was over 1,500 miles away from home and felt dire guilt that I wasn’t able to be there to be with him in the hospital. I was told that they may have to do open heart surgery. Fear set in. I hadn’t seen my dad since I had gotten sober and I was terrified that I may never be able to see him again if the surgery did not go well. I felt shame that there was a possibility that I may never get the opportunity for him to see how much I had changed. The only thing I could do was pray. Despite the fear and lack of control that I experienced, I was forced to trust in God that my dad would be okay.

In seeking this trusting relationship, I needed something more. This is when I began to go to a non-denominational Christian church where I have become an active participant. I was able to gain the support I had been looking for from other members of the church. They shared with me how their experience in trusting God had helped them overcome hard times. I began to change my conception of God into one where I accepted Jesus into my life.

In the end, the doctors found a medicine that worked well for him so he didn’t have to have the surgery then, but it is still a possibility in the future. If this happens, I know it will hurt, but my faith will be tested once again. Regardless of the outcomes of difficult situations, I must find peace in the trust that I have in God and Jesus Christ.

Regardless of difficult situations, I must find peace in the trust that I have in God and Jesus Christ. Click To Tweet

A New Life

Today, I have an understanding of the spiritual principles underlying behavior change in people who suffer from substance abuse. Through the acceptance of a loving God in my life, I can honestly say that the obsession to drink and drug is something that I no longer suffer from. Prior to having faith in God, I was consumed with these thoughts. It is nothing short of a miracle that I am sober today and live a peaceful life.

I am blessed with a job where I work with a team of intelligent, supportive individuals to spread awareness around addiction in the hopes that we reach the heart and soul of an individual who is still struggling.

I am blessed with a grateful outlook on life where I am able to see beauty and grace in the worst of times. I get to work one on one with women who are trying to stay sober by showing them exactly how I stay sober. In doing this, I get to watch the light come back on in people’s eyes. I get to watch hopeless, distraught women who want to die grow into outstanding individuals who are happy to be alive.

I am blessed to have a God who listens and provides whenever feelings of sadness or doubt return. I am able to see past difficult situations with the trust that the outcome is in the hands of God.

For somebody who was once suicidal and painfully addicted to heroin, the ability to wake up each morning and breath in fresh air is a wonderful thing. In accepting the love of God through Jesus Christ, I am truly and irrevocably blessed.

If you’re struggling with addiction, we are here to help. Your healing is possible, and it can begin now.

Cassidy Webb is a 24-year-old avid writer from South Florida. She advocates spreading awareness on the disease of addiction. Her passion in life is to help others by sharing her experience, strength, and hope.

Photo Credit: Priscilla Du Preez

Are you ready for a new life with God? Learn More About God

You Can Be Twenty-Five Percent Happier

by Dawson McAllister

Giving Thanks Increases Happiness

Let’s be honest. Sometimes life is really hard. We feel broken, lonely, shamed, hopeless. It’s hard to find the positive in anything. And why should we even bother to try? Everything is just messed up. But what if we made a point to find SOMETHING to be happy for. What would happen to us?

Trust me, I’ve had my share of trials. Did you know I have a son who was in a car accident in his early twenties and now lives in a nursing home because he had a traumatic brain injury? It’s sometimes hard to “look on the bright side.” I get it.

But here’s something to consider, research has proven that intentionally giving thanks for things in your life, even in the tough times, increases your happiness by twenty-five percent! Now tell me, who doesn’t want to be twenty-five percent happier?

Research Proves You Can Be 25% Happier

In a study done by Emmons and McCullough, they asked some of the participants to maintain a journal recording things for which they were grateful and a separate group of participants to record things they found annoying. When the results came back they found that participants in the group monitoring things for which they were grateful had significantly higher levels of well-being than the others. It turns out that practicing gratitude increases happiness, optimism, and satisfaction with your life by approximately 25%.

Thankfulness, even in the tough times, increases your happiness by 25%! #givethanks Click To Tweet

It makes sense. Whatever you wire your brain to focus on is going to directly impact how you feel. Emmons says. “When you express a feeling, you amplify it. When you express anger, you get angrier; when you express gratitude, you become more grateful.”

The Kindness Experiment

Practicing Gratitude

So how do you go about “practicing gratitude”? It could be as simple as making a point every day to stop and find at least one thing to be thankful for. And don’t convince yourself there isn’t even one thing to be thankful for because there always is. If you are choosing to not find even one thing, then you are essentially choosing unhappiness. That is your choice. But if you want to try to find happiness look around you.

Perhaps the thing you are thankful for is as simple as…

My favorite comfy sweats
That person who held the door for me when I was shopping
The warm shining sun
Singing with the radio
TheHopeLine

Here were some things I found to be thankful for in the midst of my heart ache for my son.

He receives great care and is loved by many
We can still share a laugh together
He often gives me a big thumbs up
I am still able to host my radio show which I love
And my list could go on…

Make a point every day to stop and find at least one thing to be thankful for. #givethanks Click To Tweet

These are a start. A start to training your brain to look for something good. I know it doesn’t make the bad go away, but your attitude will start to shift.

You can also practice gratitude by keeping a journal and documenting things to be thankful for. This is a great tool to go back and read when you are feeling down.

Further Research: Helping Others Increases Morale

The study also found that grateful people stop focusing so much on their pain and problems, and rather start to see how they can help others in distress. It is a great morale booster to take your eyes off your own problems and focus on helping others.

Great Morale Booster: Take your eyes off your own problems and focus on helping others. #helpinghand Click To Tweet

If you need some help to get started with how to give back, we’ve come up with a list of our Top 10 Ways to give back. Click here to view the list.

There is a verse in the Bible that says, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). God knew that life on earth wasn’t going to always be easy once sin came into the world, but he also knew long ago, what researchers have just recently proven…that if we continually give thanks through it all, we will make it through the tough times and find happiness.

What can it hurt? Give it a try. Give thanks!

Are You Depressed and Emotionally Exhausted? – EP 26

There Is Hope for Depression

Overwhelmed and Depressed

Have you noticed there are many people who struggle with deep emotional issues? They are often sad and miserable and can stay that way for months, even years. These people are depressed. Depression is described as a prolonged unexplained sadness which affects everyday life.

If you are depressed, you may feel trapped beneath emotions of overwhelming sadness and hopelessness. Maybe you lack the motivation, energy, and strength to face life’s many challenges. The good news is there are many people who have won this debilitating emotional battle.

Join me as I talk with Samantha, Melissa, and Cody each who are in some way seeking to cope with their depression. I’ll also speak with Dustin who is creatively reaching out to people he knows are depressed.

Are you depressed and emotionally exhausted? There is hope. @DawsonRadio #depression Click To Tweet

Emotionally Exhausted

Samantha is 17 and just transferred to a new school. She knows a few people but can’t play sports and feels she can’t be herself. She just reunited with her real dad and her step-father doesn’t know.

Most who are depressed are carrying too heavy of a load and over time become increasingly drained and weary. Because they are downhearted, it is difficult for them to identify what’s depleting their emotions. It’s like their emotional batteries are slowly but surely being drained.

Samantha has big issues draining life from her. She needs to identify and prioritize big things that are pulling her down. For example,

She transferred to a new high school. That would be a big adjustment for anyone, let alone someone at 17 and in their senior year.
She loves sports but can’t play them this year because she changed schools.
Changing schools would be more than enough but there’s more going on in her life. She just reunited with her birth dad and her step-father doesn’t know a thing about it.
To make matters more complicated, she doesn’t get along with her step-father. In fact, they hardly ever speak.
She feels it’s her against the whole family.

Samantha has been hit with a double whammy, a lot of stress at her new school, and family pressures at home. No one should have to face that kind of exhausting stress. Is it any wonder she’s depressed? Samantha needs to turn to God like she never has before. Only He can give her the energy she needs to face her challenges. My prayer for her is as she reaches out for help, God will replenish all she has lost and more. He said in Jeremiah 31:25: “For I will refresh the weary soul and replenish all who are weak.”

Depression Setbacks, Don’t Give Up

Melissa’s been dealing with depression for about 7 to 8 years now. She was getting better but now is going downhill, since her therapist was murdered.

In any situation, where a person needs to change, there will be setbacks and even major roadblocks. In Melissa’s case, she was starting to make progress. Her counselor was truly helping her but then shockingly, was murdered. Now, Melissa wants to give up and throw the progress she has made away. Melissa should ask herself what would her therapist, if he were alive today, advise her to do? No doubt would say, “Hang in there, don’t give up. If you were making progress before, you can make it again.”

It’s God, who can reach down in Melissa’s life and give her the strength to seek help once again. The Bible says, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5b My prayer for Melissa is although there have been tears, even weeping, joy will come into her life, the kind of joy only God can give.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. #Psalm30 #NeverGiveUp Click To Tweet

Worthless, Rejected and Depressed

Cody says he does alright fighting the depression back for a little while, but it always comes back. He’s felt a lot of rejection in his life. He first was rejected when he was 8 and his mom left him with his aunt. He doesn’t want to keep fighting and keep trying to prove he’s worth something to somebody. He’s tried to kill himself before, but his sister kept him from it 2 or 3 times.

As in Cody’s case, sometimes you get to the point, where you just have to hang on. You tell yourself, I’m not going to quit, no matter how hard it is.

Cody needs to give himself a break. He has a core belief that he’s worthless. He’s been blaming himself for this depression since he was a child. His mother, in her own dysfunction, helped drive that lies deeper into Cody’s heart by abandoning him when he was but 8 years old.

Feels Like He Doesn’t Belong

Now, after all this time, Cody feels like he doesn’t belong anywhere. Add to that heartbreaking issue, Cody also has financial problems which seem more than he can bear. He feels like a broken man and will need every bit of courage to overcome what has been pounded into him.

He already tried to kill himself and has thought about it a lot. Suicide is not the answer. Instead, may he find the victory over the dark clouds and may God touch his life and heal him.

King David cried out to God at moments of despair. He said, “Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me. I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched. My eyes fail, looking for my God.” (Psalm 69:1-3) “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” (Psalm 42:5)

There is hope! If you are depressed, there are people God has put around you who will help you!

There is hope! If you are depressed, there are people God has put around you who will help you! Click To Tweet

Letters Helped Others with Depression

I got the chance to talk to an amazing, inspirational guy, Dustin. Dustin’s friend lost her brother in a car accident, so Dustin wrote her what he calls, “feel better” letters. When she got depressed, she could read one of the letters and feel better. Dustin has now written over 100 encouragement letters for others dealing with depression.

Dustin has his own struggles. He’s been homebound for 6 years because he has Ehlers–Danlos Syndrome where the collagen breaks down in the body and the joints won’t hold together anymore. Instead of being bitter towards God about his own struggles, he’s reaching out to others. What a powerful example he is. People who are depressed and reach out to help others find a whole new energy.

Did Today’s Episode on Depression Get You Thinking?

Jesus Christ said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28)

I have to say it again. If you are depressed, there is hope!!! God is near to those who are crushed in spirit. He wants to heal your emotions. God wants to help you and He has put people around you to help you. Ask the Lord for help and strength and then look around and see who God has put in your life to help you. Also, check out our many resources for help with depression.

Resources for Help with Depression:

Check out my eBook: Understanding Depression.
Check out: Verses of Hope When Struggling with Depression.
Check out my blogs: Feelings of Depression, To Those Who Feel Worthless, and How Can I Find Hope?.
Need to talk to someone about how you are feeling, then: Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.
Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to the ThePrayerZone.com and check it out.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
Dawson

Breaking Free from Self-Harm

This guest post is written by Amanda Turner, the founder and head writer of Breaking Free Indeed. Her hope is that by sharing her own story and the truths God has shown her, others might not feel so alone on their own journeys and can also find help in these truths. This passion grew from seeing how God freed her from the struggles that she felt so trapped in and redeemed the brokenness that she once thought could only be hidden at best.

Never Again. One Day at a Time.

“Well, it’s been two weeks…but what about two months from now? Will I make it that far okay? ‘Three months free’, ‘One year free’, sounds impossible…How do I know I’ll even be able to hold out a day more?”

It seems like just the other day I wrestled with those words. It’s amazing how quickly time moves. More than that, it is amazing how dramatically God transforms.

The Day I Gave Up the Fight to Resist

May 27th, 2015 was the day I gave up. After almost a year of living under intense depression and anxiety, I didn’t know what else to do. I felt lonely, panicked and overwhelmed. Hiding in my bedroom, I decided the nearest sharp object to me was the answer. I didn’t care anymore that I knew I wasn’t supposed to do it; all I cared was to drown out these feelings, and cutting seemed like the most promising way.

I had found myself thinking about it many times before. I could picture it in my head and feel the itch of it on my skin. I always told myself I wouldn’t ever fall for it though. For one, I didn’t have the guts to actually cut my skin, that’s gross, and besides that, it was obviously just crazy to do. Yet those thoughts and feelings persisted. I tried drawing on myself as a substitute to cutting, but at the end of the day I was still frantic and still had no relief. My resolve wore thinner and thinner. Anxiety and heartache can take you to places you never imagined you would go if you allow it to, and I was tired of fighting.

After thinking about it for a while, it didn’t sound so radical or drastic to do. It almost even sounded logical. I needed a way to release these feelings trapped inside of me. So when that night came, and I hurt, but I couldn’t cry, and I felt like I had nowhere to run, and I forgot the God who had carried me through the past trials of my life, I turned to a blade instead.

Pulled Down and Swallowed Up

At first it seemed good, I had done something about my pain. There was a level of satisfaction in that. But it quickly left. What had I done? Didn’t I promise I would never go here?! I had failed, and I had lost everything. The memory of what I had done to myself only made that night darker as I tried to fall asleep, and the following day just became even more anxious and painful. I told my parents what happened, and I promised them never again.

A couple weeks later, life got too busy to deal with, too overwhelming, too many thoughts and too much pain inside because I knew I was a failure at everything. How could I get away? Will it ever stop?? I remembered cutting myself before…I wasn’t supposed to do that…but no point in fighting now really is there? I had already lost. I had gone there before. This was my life now it seemed. So be it…

I cut myself again several times over the next week or two. And I made sure not to let anyone know this time. Not one single person. I couldn’t last very long in between cutting…while I felt better as I was doing it, that feeling stopped so quickly after I was done. It was like being pulled down into a vortex that just swallowed you up. Quick, slippery, frantic, swirling, falling, dark, helpless. But even as much as I hated it, I was determined to run full on into it. If I dove in deep enough maybe it would finally be enough to get me away from everything.

Interrupted

My plan was good to go, until it got interrupted by God. June 28th, 2015, we left for Jackson, MS, so I could go to Ballet Magnificat’s Summer Dance Intensive. I was staying on campus this time instead of with my family in a hotel like I had the years before. I figured this would work well actually, because there would be no one to stop me during those two weeks.

However, as my parents left and I stood there alone in the dorm room, I felt something deep down inside, buried under my stubbornness but still alive and steady, assuring me I had to let God change my heart here during this camp. Before that voice faded, I wrote a note to myself saying, “Whatever it takes. Do it!” Sometimes staring at those words was the only thing that made me hold on, and I almost gave up several times, but in my moment of crisis God always showed up with a reminder of His love for me.

Letting Go of My Need to Control

When you’ve been living your life trying to control it all yourself, it is painfully difficult to remember how to surrender and trust God to have the reigns, but it is necessary and it is worth it. He will pull your fingers open as gently as you allow Him to.

I didn’t notice it happening, but God changed me drastically during those two weeks in Ballet Magnificat’s intensive. At the end of my time there, I wrote out what God had shown me about anxiety and my desire for control over my life and emotions. I was seeing then that I could go to Him when I was anxious and overwhelmed and He would hold me. I was realizing that I could dump my emotions – even the ugly ones – on Him and that He could heal the hurt better than any cover-up trick I could try, if only I would trust Him to take care of my heart in His way and His timing. He is my Shelter from the craziness of this world and the craziness of my heart. I needed to remember these things.

Could I Stay Clean?

Coming back home, I worried about what would happen when real life hit again. Would I make it? Would I break again? I didn’t want to break; I actually wanted to get better now. But I was still so tired and worn down from my previous battles, did I have the ability to actually hold out and make it when things got hard? I looked online at people sharing stories of self-harm. They talked about how they had gone seven months without cutting, or three years free from it. It felt somewhat depressing. I had barely made it two weeks without cutting and many times I felt like it would kill me to keep fighting it. How could I ever reach seven months??

Today, I can give you that answer: you get there one day, one moment, at a time. You get there, not by resolving to last for however long without messing up, but by submitting in your heart to give up your will and your way and to run to God in every pain and bump that you face. You walk hand in hand with Him moment by moment, day by day, and then one day you stop and look over your shoulder in amazement because…

Now I Celebrate

Today, June 28th, 2016, I celebrate one year free from cutting! It was not impossible. I could not have gotten myself out of it, but with God, all things are possible. It is not us working our way out but simply being open and surrendered to His work in our hearts that brings us freedom and lasting victory.

God promises us this in the Bible:

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” – Matthew 19:26

God Understands Your Pain

For those of you who struggle with cutting or self-harm, either that the thought keeps chasing you or that you feel stuck going back to it, please know that God understands your pain and He is the only true Healer of our hearts.

You may be able to trick your brain for a short time by hurting your body, but in the end it is only hurting your heart further. By giving up on running from your pain, and instead facing it and bringing it before Jesus, He can offer a deeper, truer, comfort and He can mend the brokenness. His love is deeper than your skin, just like your pain. He can reach you more fully than a blade can. The relief won’t feel the same as cutting does, but it will be more complete and long lasting if you wait patiently at His feet and keep coming back to Him.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18

Breaking Free

To anyone who struggles, whether it be with self-harm or something totally different, whatever sin it is that you feel like you won’t be able to stay away from, that you are doomed to be drug back there forever, that you don’t know if you really do have the strength to get past: you really can make it. You can break free. You can leave the old patterns and lies behind. You don’t have to keep going back, and you don’t have to fear messing up again once you stop.

Yeah, you may trip, but God understands and has compassion on you. He won’t condemn you. You can instantly run back to Him for a hug when you do mess up. But also, you don’t have to trip! If you simply focus on keeping your gaze locked on Him, you won’t have to worry about sin suddenly pulling you down. He will keep your feet from slipping and will teach you to walk in His will. It is possible for “never again” to really mean never again, if you lean on your Savior’s strength and not your own.

“As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.” – Psalm 18:30-32

“Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” – Psalm 94:17-19

-Amanda

This post was originally published here.

Worn – Tenth Avenue North [Video]

Is Life Wearing You Down?

“I’m tired, I’m worn. My heart is heavy from the work it takes to keep on breathing. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve let my hope fail. My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world. And I know that you can give me rest. So I cry out with all that I have left.”

These words from the song Worn by Tenth Avenue North resonate with so many. Hold on. You are not alone.

For more resources on the topic of suicide go to our Suicide Resource Page.

The Reason – Lacey Sturm [Video]

The Reason

This is one of our favorite songs by Lacey Sturm.

“All my life I searched for something to satisfy the longing in my heart. And everytime I come away emptier than before. And now I finally see the reason, cause I was made to be yours alone. You formed my heart with your own hands, but I just could not understand. If I gave you my life, I’d be healed by your grace. I was made for your love, but gave others your place.”

You too have a reason. This hope is yours as well!

For more resources on the topic of suicide go to our Suicide Resource Page.

Lacey Sturm’s Story In Her Own Words [Video]

When It’s All Too Much

Rocker Lacey Sturm, formerly the lead singer for the band FlyLeaf, planned to end her life by suicide when she was 16. Life was too heavy. She’d been hurt by too many people. And as an atheist, she just couldn’t find a reason to “do” life anymore.

But then she encountered someone who knew all her pain and loved her anyway. She found the hope to hang on.

For more resources on the topic of suicide go to our Suicide Resource Page.

This Hole in My Soul

Why do I want to be anyone but me?

I have to confess I have this problem…when I look around me, I always think everyone else has it better than me. They have better hair, better clothes, a better face, a nicer house, a better personality, better skills and talents.

The Why?

Society’s pressure never ends; you get bombarded with it everywhere you go. Trying to be the best, trying to look the part you want to look, trying to appear as if you are the most interesting person in the world and your life is the most wonderful life possible.

I think if most of us look at the highlights in our own lives….those moments laughing with friends, vacations, the good days, the days where we look and feel good, those times where we do something awesome and noteworthy aka Instagram worthy…those highlights make us look as if our life is something to take notice of. I know I’m not the only one who goes back and looks over my pictures and is like…oh yeah, cool, I really have had some good times!

As we all know, everyday life is not glamorous…sometimes it’s downright rigid, boring, and extremely monotonous. Get up, eat breakfast, go to work or school, go home, eat dinner, study, binge on Netflix…blah, blah…not too much in a typical day that’s Instagram worthy. I have to tell myself…this is okay, and I’m telling you it’s okay. Life doesn’t have to be exciting every moment.

Why don’t I feel complete?

Here’s my secret…probably an issue you’ve never heard of…I have dad issues (gasp). I’m being sarcastic if you can’t tell. I know so many of us have this issue. I have two dads (dad and step-dad), but the fact that neither of them were completely vested in my life when I was younger affected me a lot. In many ways, this left me with a hole in my soul.

However, the thing that always puzzled me about this hole in my soul was that I knew Jesus. I knew He was the answer and the only way to fill the longing in my heart. But I didn’t always listen and seek Him. Instead, I looked for love and acceptance through guys. I went through many years of liking guys who didn’t like me, but it didn’t take long for that to change. Once I hit about 18 years old, guys liking me wasn’t a problem anymore and I soaked up the attention and “love” I got from them. This was not a healthy thing to do. It only leads to TROUBLE with a capital T.

If you need approval or attention to feel good about yourself then this can only lead you down a bad path. It means you will do things you didn’t want to do to get attention and feel better about yourself.

How do I fix it?

To “fix” the hole in my soul and fulfill the desire to be who I was meant to be is simple, but I tend to complicate it. We are all actually made this way…incomplete on our own. God did this so He can complete us. We are only made totally complete through God. Without him, we will always have an emptiness looming.

God is Calling You to Him

God created us in His image. He made us to have a deep, meaningful relationship with Him and to be in constant communication with Him. If we aren’t following through on that, then we are going to feel incomplete. If we put our faith in ourselves or others, not in God, then we are not going to flourish and be who we were meant to be.

Sometimes God seems far away. There are so many other things going on in life and He feels just “up there” sometimes. The truth is God can be more present and more real in your life, the more you let Him. He is not going to show up uninvited. He gives us free will to call upon Him or to ignore Him.

Related Posts:

To Those Who Feel Worthless

Show Me You’re Real God

There was a time in my life where I wasn’t sure if God existed. After some straying and darkness, I cried out to Him and prayed, “I need for you to show me you are real. I need to know you are here and care about me.” One time, during a church service, I was praying this to Him and I felt His presence and felt for a moment like I was breathing pure oxygen. God showed up and answered my prayer. I felt his presence so strongly, and since then, I’ve never doubted his existence again. It’s so cool because the more you press into Him (by praying, reading and studying the Bible), the more you see Him at work in your life.

God promises if you seek Him, you will find Him. I’ll leave this scripture with you, Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Just try it! Seek the Lord with your whole heart! Don’t hold anything back and see what He does in your life. Watch Him fill the hole in your soul. Watch Him help you become God-confident and be who you were meant to be!

Rachel (Co host of Dawson McAllister Live)

Relationship Disasters – What Not to Do: EP 22

Questions to Ask Before Starting to Date

In This Episode:

Even before you begin to date, there are some questions you need to ask yourself and then answer which could save you from a lot of pain, heartache and relationship disasters. In this episode, I talk with Dustin about his unrealistic expectations with dating. Then I talk with Blake, who jumped into dating and a physical relationship way too quickly. Lastly, Jessica and I have a conversation about her dating over 150 guys in one year and how she’s needs to ask herself, “Have I become obsessive and out of control in my search to find the right one?”

Unrealistic Expectations

Dustin met a girl on a dating website. Dustin soon realized he has too much going on to date a girl who lives 2 hours away. Plus, he’s not attracted to her but he’s still dating her.

In my conversation with Dustin, it became clear he had unrealistic expectations about what dating could do for him.

Dustin should have asked himself am I genuinely attracted to this girl or am I settling for less, just so I can be in a relationship?

If you are dating and realize this person is not the one you want to keep dating then don’t drag it out. Sometimes we attempt to keep the relationship going when we should have ended it. Dustin went into the relationship with high expectations, even though she didn’t meet them, he kept dating her anyway. What a mistake! Dustin is settling for a girl he’s not attracted to, just to be in a relationship.

Dustin should also have asked himself, “Do I have enough time and emotional energy to give to the relationship?”

Dustin isn’t in a good place to start a relationship. Why is he even looking for someone right now? He has too much on his plate already. It should be a clue he’s not ready to seriously date. Successful dating relationships take time and can’t be pushed, manipulated, or made into something it’s not. Dustin was trying to force a relationship with her even though she wasn’t the right girl and it wasn’t the right time.

Dustin should have asked himself a very direct question: “Am I looking to this girl to make me feel complete?”

Spiritual and Emotional Completeness

No woman is going to make Dustin feel whole for very long. A true spiritual and emotional completeness comes only from a deep relationship with Jesus Christ. His love never fails us. His wisdom is beyond our wildest imagination. His plans for us are always the best. King David, a great king in the Bible said, “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.” Psalm 7: 4-5

God knows our desires and knows what we need, who else can helps us like God? We are easily fooled but God is never. If we seek Him with all of our heart, all our other desires will take care of themselves.

If the person is not the ONE you want to keep dating then don’t drag it out. #relationships Click To Tweet

Jumped into Dating Way Too Quickly

Blake and his girlfriend jumped into dating way too quickly. It became physical even though neither of them intended it to be.

Blake should have asked himself, “Is this relationship spinning out of control?”

Don’t let the powerful feelings of false intimacy, stirred up by the misuse of sex, fool you into thinking you have an awesome relationship. In reality, you don’t! It’s just a matter of time until the whole thing will fall apart. That’s what happened to Blake. They weren’t even friends and didn’t know how to fix it. Sex was a cloud over their relationship that kept it from growing and led it to be out of control. Don’t let that happen to you!

Don’t let false intimacy, stirred up by sex, fool you into thinking you have a great relationship. Click To Tweet

Epitome of a Relationship Disaster

Jessica blew my mind. Here is a young woman who has dated over 150 guys in one year. She said she’s the epitome of a relationship disaster.

Jessica needed to ask herself, “Have I become obsessive and out of control in my search to find the right one?”

She has developed a full-blown addiction to guys. She keeps going with a different guy nearly every night but it doesn’t work. She always comes up empty and yet craving for more. She’s turned guys into a god. There’s no way these guys could ever meet her needs. She’s looking to them to do for her what only God can do.

Carousel of Heartbreak

Don’t ever let someone you are dating turn into a god. Only God can be God. Only God can fill your emptiness. One could date a million guys, still come up empty and still trapped on a carousel of heartbreak. Only Jesus Christ can rescue Jessica from the blinding, cruel carousel. The last thing she needs to do is go after one more guy. She needs a whole new personal healing. She needs to put first things first and get her life out of reverse. Jesus said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

Don’t let who you're dating turn into a god. Only God can be God. Only God can fill your emptiness. Click To Tweet

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

My hope is you will continually ask yourself important questions and be honest with the answers. Be very careful before starting to date because you could end up with scars God never intended you to have. With God’s help, you can develop a healthy, happy dating experience and that is my hope for you.

Resources for Relationships:

Check out my eBooks: Understanding Dating, Getting Over a Broken Heart, Relationship Advice for Girls, and Relationship Advice for Guys.

Check out my blogs: 8 Signs Your Dating Relationship is Unhealthy, Stop the Heartache – 4 Things to Avoid, and It Felt So Right.

Check out these stories of hope from people who have struggled in their relationship: Relationship Issues, and My Relationship, Depression and Then Hope
Need to talk about your issues? Sign up for an Email Mentor, an online coach who will email you and come along beside you to offer support.
Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to the ThePrayerZone.com and check it out.

With God’s help, you can develop a healthy, happy dating experience. @dawsonradio #RelationshipGoals Click To Tweet

Would you consider doing something for me?

If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Join me for my next episode on how to deal with anger. Everybody struggles with it, you, me and the guy down the street and that’s why God speaks about it so much in the Bible. I had a chance to talk with 3 people: Evie, Donald and Matthew about their anger. I think you will be moved by their honesty but also the serious traps they could fall into if they don’t deal with it.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
Dawson

Your Scars Are Proof That God Heals

Do you often feel like a failure? This blog was originally published on Anthem of Hope, a non-profit dedicated to illuminating hope for those battling brokenness, depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicide and addiction.

Your scars are proof that God heals.

We live in a world that calls failure a weakness, and labels weakness a flaw. We are taught to mask the truth because, “it’s better if you keep your pain to yourself,” and that the best way to lead is from our strengths instead of our weakness. This is not the way to live, and I’d encourage you to do exactly the opposite.

If I can be honest, I think our world has built itself on a shallow and narrow foundation. The truth is that this foundation is ready to crack at any second. Our society doesn’t allow people the freedom to share their pains, their struggles or their hardships. These “dark times” have become surrounded by stigmas and kept quiet instead of being allowed to be spoken of freely. While I know this is just my opinion, I think I have a pretty valid point to stand upon.

1. “Crying is not allowed.”

2. “Keep your pain to yourself.”

3. “Don’t show your weaknesses.”

Our society doesn't allow people the freedom to share their pains, struggles or their hardships. Click To Tweet

There is hope.

These are things we’ve heard throughout life. And while many of us may try to shake off their weight, you’d be surprised to know how many people are haunted by these thoughts on a daily basis. I believe in a God of Grace, love, and second chances. And if it wasn’t for those divine qualities all working together, I can promise you that I wouldn’t be standing here today. I’ve been redeemed. No matter how dark and desolate your life is or was, there is hope and God can take your life to places you never thought imaginable. Every cut, bruise and broken bone can be mended and made new by the love of God.

Related Posts:

How Can I Find Hope?

We All Go Through Dark Times

To Those Who Feel Worthless

I am not proud of my past.

I’m not proud of my past, but I wear my scars on my sleeve because I am proud of who I’ve become in Christ. You should as well. These scars remind us that we can conquer all things and that healing is possible. There is nothing too broken for God. He can fix anything because he created everything, and that includes you.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”—2 Corinthians 5:17

My failures and mistakes are NOT my most treasured moments, but because of them I am now a living testimony of His redemption and grace. Guess what? So are you! Your story, your past, your suffering and pain, it can all be used as a testimony and story to help others.

Don’t hide your scars, wear them as proof that God heals. It's okay to not be okay. @JarridWilson Click To Tweet

Your story is His glory. Share it to the world. Don’t hide your scars, wear them as proof that God heals. It’s okay to not be okay.

—Anthem of Hope

Do you feel like the pain will never end?

Your future is amazing and we want to show you how you can find a lasting hope in knowing that you are loved and have a purpose! Download our free eBook, Understanding Hope, for help.

How Can I Find Hope?

by Dawson McAllister

LIFE.

It can be really, stinkin’ hard sometimes, right?

When your situation gets really tough…You just can’t find happiness anymore…Everything seems to be going against you…

What keeps you from just giving up?

HOPE.

Have you ever wondered, “How Can I Find Hope?”

Hope keeps you hanging on because it allows you to believe that:

Things will get better.
You have a purpose to fulfill.
There is a plan for your life.
You are cared for

But I would like to suggest that people are losing hope at alarming rates.

As the founder of TheHopeLine which has been around for 25 years, I’ve seen trends. While relationship issues with friends, dating, and parents used to be the number one thing people wanted to talk about…now it is self-worth issues, suicide, depression.

And statistically, we can look at national suicide rates and note that they are up significantly. The Centers for Disease Control recently released a report that shows that between 1999 and 2016 suicide rates went up by more than 30 percent in over half the states.

Why are we losing hope?

People are losing hope at alarming rates. But, why are we losing hope? @DawsonRadio Click To Tweet

5 Reasons for Losing Hope.

In my many conversations with teenagers and young adults, I hear variations of these five reasons over and over. I believe these statements capture some of the leading causes of hopelessness:

They have no experience receiving unconditional love which causes feelings of worthlessness.
Their identities are tied to changing circumstances and not a secure source, so they don’t know who they are.
Life is meaningless. They can’t find a purpose.
Intense feelings of being alone, rejected, abandoned…no one cares.
Inability to find anything to look forward to.

Do any of those describe you?

What Causes People to Feel so Lost?

Let’s consider the prevailing way people view the world in this moment. It’s often referred to as the postmodern worldview.

Perhaps this worldview can best be summarized with, “You do you.”

In some ways – I appreciate this saying – it allows people to be accepted for who they are without being judged harshly. “Be yourself.” There’s nothing wrong with that.

But on a deeper level, the message is, “You can believe whatever makes the most sense to you based on your life circumstances. There is no one truth. It’s all relative to your experiences.”

While this may sound good on the surface, the reality is it leaves a lot of people in a state of chaos.

Because what is true anymore and, well, what does work best for you?

When we are unstable without something solid to hold onto we start to lose our sense of self, our sense of purpose, our sense HOPE.

Related Posts:

6 Ways to Silence Shame

Ronnie’s Life Changing Decision

To Those Who Feel Worthless

Where do you start?

There are over 4,200 belief systems in the world today.

If any of them can be true…where do you start?

As you search for your own truth, you realize you are completely untethered. There is nothing to anchor yourself to. Especially if what you believe depends upon your circumstances because circumstances change. People in your life change. Everything is constantly moving. So if you are tying your identity and your belief system to your circumstances (even if that belief system is that you don’t believe in anything), what happens when your circumstances change?

You once again feel lost. Untethered.

So let me ask you a question that the postmodern worldview would appreciate…

How’s life working for YOU right now? How is what you believe or don’t believe working for you? Is it giving you hope? Do you feel secure? Is it helping you feel loved and cherished?

What Give Us Hope?

To match the 5 reasons people are losing hope that I mentioned above, I believe we have hope when:

We feel loved and valued.
We know who we are without a doubt.
Our purpose is clear.
We don’t feel abandoned.
Our future is bright.

How can we have this security?

Only one thing has consistently provided all of these things for me and that is my Christian faith. I am not talking about religion, but about my relationship with Jesus and my faith in Him.

Now you may decide to stop reading at this point. You may think that I am failing to give you practical advice. To which I say two things:

My practical advice for HOPE is to find unconditional love, a secure identity, a purpose, a community and a confident knowledge that your future is secure.
The only way I know how to find these things is through my faith. So I ask you, what kind of person would I be if I have found HOPE and I believe it is the ONE TRUTH that is UNCHANGING, and then I chose NOT to share it with you, would I be showing my genuine care and concern for you? If I kept this to myself when I believe it is the answer, would that be right?

So I hope you will keep reading because I really do genuinely care. If you are feeling hopeless, what do you have to lose?

I am going to briefly share how my faith has provided the above 5 things for me and how it gives me HOPE. For further detail, I hope you will download our free eBook, Understanding Hope.

You are Loved

My faith gives me the hope that I am loved by God. Always and forever. And so are you.

Even when you mess up. God loves you.

He created you and wants a relationship with you. The God of the universe thinks about you personally and wants the best for you. ALWAYS.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! (Psalm 139:17-18)

And when bad things happen, that is not what He wants. He still loves you.

In this sinful world, people are going to fail you. Even those who are supposed to love you unconditionally, they are going to let you down sometimes. They aren’t perfect. And if every time a person fails you, you in turn start to wonder if you are worthy of love. You will lose hope.

That is why knowing you are loved by God is an anchor of hope! You are loved no matter what!

You have Worth

Do you find yourself tying your identity and your worth to:

What you achieve · What you look like · Who approves of you · Mistakes of your past

As a Christian, your worth and your identity are no longer defined by what the world says about you but rather by who God says you are. In the Bible He says you are:

Chosen ·Accepted ·Treasured ·Beautiful ·Protected ·Able ·Complete ·Known· Overcomer ·Masterpiece ·Rescued ·Held

Once you believe in the God of the Bible, these promises are yours to claim.

There is such hope in knowing that nothing can change who God says you are. Your identity is secure.

You have a Purpose

The whole idea that life is a vapid hole without meaning goes away when you are a Christian.

God designed you uniquely and created you in His image. He wouldn’t waste his time if you had no reason for existing.

God created you because he wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to love you, and in return, be loved by you. He is a personal God. We are here to praise Him for how great He is! To live lives that honor and glorify our Holy creator.

One way we honor and glorify God is to love others and that is our other purpose. In the Bible, God tells us that the most important things for us to do are to love God with all our hearts and love the people around us just as much as we love ourselves. Your purpose then is to:

Love God … Love yourself … Love others

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matt 22:36-39)

Your purpose is to: Love God … Love yourself … Love others. #LoveGod #LoveOthers @DawsonRadio Click To Tweet

You are Not Alone

God promises to NEVER abandon his children.

God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” (Hebrews 13:5&6)

When you take the leap of faith to believe, there will be times when God feels super close and times he feels farther away, but faith allows you to trust that God’s promises are always true. Even when you feel alone, you recognize that is just a feeling. God is still there.

Years of believing in God have proven this truth to me. There have been many times in my life where my circumstances would have made me feel hopeless and alone, but God has always been my anchor to hold onto in the storms. The knowledge that He is unchanging, unmovable, trustworthy and good allow me to have HOPE.

Knowledge God is unchanging, unmovable, trustworthy and good allow me to have #HOPE. @DawsonRadio Click To Tweet

Your Future is Amazing

Do you ever feel like you have nothing to look forward to? That the same despair you may be feeling now will always be with you?

By putting your faith and trust in Jesus Christ, your life is made new. You get a fresh start. You are forgiven, no matter what you’ve done. God will pour out mercy, peace, grace, blessings, and love on you. Your future is secure.

And once you have given your life to Christ, you can rest assured that, no matter what you face in this lifetime, you can look forward to eternal life in heaven.

And heaven…well, it’s going to be great! More beauty than we can comprehend. But even better is the pure joy we will have. There will be no more tears, no more pain, and no more death.

Is This Hope for You?

It is certainly available to you if you choose it.

If you desire this kind of hope, please download our free eBook on Understanding a Hope to learn more.

You can also visit our Get Help page to talk to someone about this.

Here’s the thing…. Christians still have problems. We still make mistakes. Bad things still happen.

Once sin came into the world, God never promised us life would be easy. However, God promises to overcome all of it, to love us always, and to never leave us.

Read this and see if you relate:

I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom.

That’s from the Bible – nothing much has changed in human feelings over thousands of years. Here is what the writer of that passage went on to say.

But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times. (Lamentations 3:19-26 MSG)

God provided hope to people then and still does today!

For more help with understanding hope and your purpose, download our free eBook!

How Can I Learn to Love Myself?

by Dawson McAllister

I want you to hear this message today.

It’s time to love yourself!

I know for SO, SO many people this is hard.

I’m overwhelmed with the number of messages I receive every week that are full of self-loathing. Here are just a few of the many received JUST. THIS. WEEK.

These messages come from all over the world…there is no country immune to this issue.

I am 13, and I want to kill myself. Nobody cares about me and I hate myself

I feel so numb all the time.

Am I worth it? does anyone truly love me ?

Life is this huge vapid hole I don’t see why my life is important.

I hate being me. I’m embarrassed that I am me and wish I could be someone else

There is no easy, one-step answer here. Deep-rooted issues often lie beneath such low self-esteem.

But we need to start somewhere, so today I want to talk about place to begin the journey towards learning to love and care for yourself. I want to talk about self-care.

But before you can even begin any steps toward self-care, you need to make a choice right now.

Are you worth it?

I can list important steps towards self-care and loving yourself, but first you need to decide that you are worth the effort. If you don’t, you will never take these steps.

The fact that you are reading this, tells me that you WANT to believe you’re worth it. So let me give you permission to believe it. YOU. ARE. WORTH. LOVING.

I’ll tell you why you are worth loving in a bit, but first let’s talk about self-care.

You need to decide that you are worth the effort of loving yourself and #selfcare. @dawsonradio Click To Tweet

What is Self-Care?

Self-care is any activity that we intentionally do in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. It’s also key to a good relationship with oneself and others. (PsychCentral.com)

A common misconception about self-care is that it is selfish or indulgent. But self-care is not about pampering yourself, going to the spa or on a shopping spree. “While self-care can include pampering yourself, it’s so much bigger. It’s so much more meaningful and important. ‘Self-care is essential to our survival,’ said Jessica Michaelson, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist and certified coach for those who want to find more joy and meaning in their lives.” (PsychCentral.com)

Self-care involves realizing and prioritizing what YOU need to do to take care of YOU. It is not selfish because, when you feel good about yourself, you will be able to give back to others and live a life of purpose. And when you live a life of purpose, you will no longer feel like life is a meaningless void where you are just taking up space. It’s a perfect circle.

Self-Care is Not One-Size-Fits-All

Self-care will look different for everyone. Taking care of yourself starts with discovering what fills your tank. What helps you refuel? And then making sure you do that.

For some that may be quiet time, while for others it may be time spent with other people. For some it may be dancing it out to your favorite song, and other people may need to watch an hour of their favorite show. What activity makes you happy?

It’s also important to note that another part of self-care may include activities that aren’t always pleasurable. It may involve making that doctors appointment you’ve been avoiding or confronting pain from your past.

Taking care of yourself starts with discovering what fills your tank. What helps you refuel? Click To Tweet

While self-care looks different for everyone, there are some universal steps to help you get started:

9 Steps to Self-Care

Identify what activity makes you feel good and do it!

No excuses here. Everybody has something they enjoy doing that makes them feel good. Take a walk, bake a cake, draw/color, roller skate, talk with your grandma. I don’t care what it is. Every week you must do this thing that rejuvenates you.

Add it to your schedule.

You need to actively plan to set aside time to do this activity and stick to it. You are worth it.

Just Start.

Maybe the first week you don’t give yourself even an hour for your activity. But do something. If your activity is to walk and you only get a five-minute walk in, feel good about accomplishing that and try for more next week.

Take care of yourself physically.

Sleep – most adults need 7 to 8 hours a night.
Eat well – A healthy diet fuels natural energy and boosts our self-esteem and confidence.
Exercise – It is as good for our emotional health as our physical health because of the endorphins released. However, in keeping with the self-care principal choose an exercise you like.
Maintain good hygiene – You’ll just feel better about yourself.

Give up what drains you.

Are there relationships that zap your energy? Give yourself some distance. Are you constantly connected to your phone…checking e-mails, texts, snap chat, social media? Set your device aside for an hour. Are there certain events you hate attending? Stop going. Your time, energy, and emotional well-being are valuable and should be used with intention. When you establish boundaries, you reinforce healthy self-esteem.

Choose who you spend time with.

Look for people who are upbeat, positive, and enjoy life. Get rid of toxic relationships. It is also good to have people in your life who have perhaps faced similar struggles as you and can relate. Support groups can be very helpful.

Celebrate Recovery is a partner organization of ours that offers support to anyone struggling with hurt, pain or addiction of any kind. They are a safe place to find community and freedom from the issues that are controlling your life. You can find a group in your community here: Celebrate Recovery Group Finder

Stop Overthinking

If you start to over-think, haul out a journal and write your thoughts down. Acknowledge what is on your mind. Now that they are written down and your thoughts are captured, you don’t need to dwell on them anymore.

Realize Self-care is non-negotiable.

Have the attitude that self-care is a necessity and don’t give it up. It can be easy to put it off or make up reasons you just can’t, but YOU can!

Why is Self-Care So Hard for us to do?

According to Jessica Michaelson, Psy.D, many of us don’t know how to practice self-care because “we weren’t taught to pay attention to our inner states — or to trust them. ‘Instead, we are taught what we’re ‘supposed’ to think and feel, and try to ignore feelings that we think we ‘shouldn’t’ feel.’

Consider a newborn who cries when they’re hungry. That is an example of self-care, Michaelson said. ‘That is sensing your inner state, and taking action to get your needs met.’ Because when we ignore our needs, over time, we become sick, unhappy and overwhelmed, she said.

Maybe you’re anxious about a certain situation. But you’re ashamed about your nervous feelings, so you pretend they don’t exist. Maybe you’re really upset about something. But you think you should be happy, so you stuff down your sadness. Maybe you really need 9 hours of sleep. But you believe you should be able to function just fine on 6 hours—so that’s what you try to do. Maybe your entire body is saying no to a commitment. But you don’t want to seem rude or impolite, so you say yes.” (Psychcentral.com)

If you never make an effort to do something about the fact that you don’t like the way you are feeling, or take the time to examine why you are feeling that way and consider what you can do to feel better, your emotions will catch up to you and you will start to feel hopeless.

This reminds me of this famous quote:

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” – Henry Ford

But there is always HOPE.

I told you I would get back to answering the question of why you are worth loving. Here’s what I know.

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” - Henry Ford Click To Tweet

Why you are worth loving.

Unfortunately, in this selfish, sinful world people will never love us perfectly. Even those who truly love us will let us down at some point. Perhaps you have been let down by someone who was supposed to love you. We are all human and will make mistakes in our relationships. If we put our hope in people, we will be disappointed.

In the Bible it says: “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:21-23

Even when people turn their back on you, God still loves you NO MATTER WHAT. He cares so much for you, he even knows how many hairs you have on your head. He desires to have you know him and to have a relationship with you.

When you know how God feels about you and what God says about you, the world no longer has the power to define you.

Do you have any idea who you truly are? Are you searching for “the real you”? Get this:

You are created in the image of God. You are not random cells thrown together. God designed you to be like Him. He didn’t make a mistake when He created you. You are amazing just the way you are.

The Bible says, “Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:26-27)

Stop believing all the lies. Identify yourself as a child of God, created in HIS image. Click To TweetHow can someone created in the image of God be worthless?

Your identity is no longer tied to:

What you achieve · What you look like · Who approves of you · Mistakes of your past

Your worth is defined by who God says you are:

Chosen ·Accepted ·Treasured ·Beautiful ·Protected ·Able ·Complete ·Known·Overcomer ·Masterpiece ·Rescued ·Held

Want to read more about what God says about you?

In conclusion…

How do I learn to love myself?

Start with these three things:

Decide you are worth taking care of.
Practice Self-Care
Learn to see yourself as God sees you.

For more on learning to love yourself download our free eBook on Understanding Self-Worth.

How do I Stop My Gambling Addiction? EP 18

The Adrenaline Rush of Gambling is Overwhelming

In This Episode:

I Like the Rush of Gambling

The love of money is so gripping, it can cause us to wander away from God and lead us into all kinds of trouble, where we have broken hearts with many sorrows. And we don’t just break our own hearts but also those near to us.

In this episode, I speak with Mike, who spent his trust fund money on gambling, money that was intended for his education. I talk with Paris, who hasn’t been to the casino recently but still feels the temptation. And he almost lost his wife because of his gambling addiction. Finally, I speak with David, who is losing friends and family over his addiction and is spending money he doesn’t have, even gambling during his breaks at work.

It can take a while for gamblers to hit the wall so to speak, because most are optimistic by nature, easily fooled by their own reasoning. They think everything is going to work out just fine. They live for the high of winning.

The love of money is so gripping, it can cause us to wander away from God. @dawsonradio #gambling Click To Tweet

I’m Going to Win Eventually

Gamblers can easily become delusional. They hold beliefs which contradict reality. They reason within themselves, next time I play, I’ll hit the jackpot and everything’s going to be great. Always chasing the big prize, while slipping and sliding into more and more debt.

King Solomon wrote, “Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies will have their fill of poverty.” Proverbs 28:19

The gambler is chasing a fantasy of winning big. At some point, the gambler loses his grip on reality. The buzz to the gambler is that winning hand, which will set everything straight. Some addicted gamblers are extremely arrogant and narcissistic. They think people who don’t play are chumps for not having the guts to take a chance of walking away with easy money.

The gambler is chasing a fantasy of winning big. @dawsonradio #addiction Click To Tweet

What Gamblers Think…

The buzz of winning is awesome.
It’s easy money.
Winning will bring me massive thrills.
I’ll win more than I lose.
Even if I lose, I’ll win next time.
Seeking the great thrill is an awesome escape.
I’m not breaking the law.
Everybody gambles.
I’m smarter than the game.
How can it be so bad, if it feels so right?
I’m not hurting anyone.
I’ll figure out how to pay my debt.
My family will put up with my addiction.
I control it, it doesn’t control me.
What I’m doing isn’t bad, it’s not like I’m doing drugs.

What does God say about gambling? Why does he want us to stay far from it?

While God does not say specifically, don’t gamble. He has a lot to say about the sin behind gambling, which is the love of money. A writer on BibleStudyTools.com put it this way: “Most often when people gamble it is because they become addicted to the love of money. A simple game can become a sin when it takes over our minds and hearts and leads us down a road of never being satisfied.”

Gambling adds fuel to the consuming fire of the love of money. Most gamblers end up craving the thrill of chasing the money they love and the rush of winning it. The Bible says, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” 1 Timothy 6:10

Money in and of itself is not evil. It is just a tool. But the love of money is. King Solomon, the wisest man in the Bible said, “Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.” Ecclesiastes 5:10

And so, the gambler is never satisfied, ever. What the gambler wants is more thrills, more games, and more money. He can never get enough. He is forever craving, wanting even more but never satisfied.

Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24

If you love money, you will not love God. If you love God, you will soon despise the love of money. Unless the gambler turns to God and turns away from the love of money, he will forever despise God.

Money in and of itself is not evil. It is just a tool. But the love of money is. @dawsonradio Click To Tweet

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

God uses the consequences of our actions to force us back to Him. God is bigger than your gambling problem, no matter how big it is. It’s not just a matter of telling the world you want to reset but it’s the ongoing hard work it will take to get free. You can change your love of money to a love for God and He will help you if you ask. You can find freedom from your addiction.

Resources for Getting Over a Gambling Addiction:

Check out my blogs: So Who’s An Addict?, At the End of the Trail, Staying Clean After an Addiction, and Recovery from Addiction
You can contact the National Council on Problem Gambling by texting, calling, or chatting: https://www.ncpgambling.org/help-treatment/national-helpline-1-800-522-4700/.
Find a Gamblers Anonymous Meeting near you: http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/locations.
Consider joining a Celebrate Recovery group. These groups are a safe place for anyone struggling with any kind of hurt, hang-up or habit. Find a support group by state: www.celebraterecovery.com.
Need to talk about your issues? Sign up for an Email Mentor, an online coach who will email you and come along beside you to offer support.
Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to the ThePrayerZone.com and check it out.

Would you consider doing something for me?

If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Join me for my next episode on lying. The more we speak truth, the happier we will be yet, sadly, everyone lies at some point and some people even become compulsive liars. Compulsive liars lie even when it would be easier to tell the truth. In this episode, I talk with Lee – who is trying to come out of the liar’s closet, Jason – who is living a lie and his lies are killing him, and Elli – who has willingly bought into her boyfriend’s lies for a very long time.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
Dawson

Dawson McAllister Live On-Line

by Dawson McAllister

A Show for You No Matter What You’re Going Through

I have been a radio host for a live, call-in radio show for over 25 years. It is something I absolutely love to do and am incredibly passionate about!

The thing about live radio is you never know exactly what you are going to get or how it’s going to turn out. It’s exciting!

But more than that, I love talking to YOU. I love giving people a little bit of hope in their struggle. It’s not easy to hear the hurt and despair that people are facing. Often my heart out-right breaks for my callers because God has given me a love for every person I talk to. But I am so blessed to be able to help them think more clearly and point them in a healthy direction.

As I was able to do here with Aubry:

Aubrey - 16 - Boyfriend cheated and she started cutting

It is an honor to help people discover the truth about their struggle and give them guidance.

Moving to On-Line Radio

After 25 years of traditional radio, we have now moved the show entirely on-line, right here. We are live Sunday nights at 7pm CT.

The format of the show continues to be the same…real people talking about real problems. It’s heartfelt, sometimes raw, and often inspiring.

I hope you’ll tune in and maybe even give me a call. You can call me at 1-800-394-4673.

A lot of people ask me…how did you get started in radio?

A Passion to Help the Hurting

I began my career as a youth speaker. In the 1980’s I would host arena-sized youth conferences across the country reaching millions of students. In each city, I encountered people who were in serious crisis. They shared stories of abuse, rape, cutting, addictions, eating disorder, suicidal thoughts and more. They were desperate to be rescued. At one point students started bringing notes to the front of the stage and laying them at my feet…notes filled with pain and despair. They were prisoners of self-condemnation and shame.

What was I supposed to do with all this pain?

I was visiting about 25 cities a year and I was burdened by the fact that we blew in, we blew up and we blew out. I was also acutely aware that I was reaching just a small portion of students across the country. There must be so many more who were deeply broken. How could we reach more? Was there a way to talk to them one-on-one? How could we have more of a sustained impact?

Getting Started in Radio

Then God opened a door. I was approached by a super-power Christian radio station out of Minneapolis, MN. They made a proposal. If they provided the air-time and technical know-how, would I host a weekly call-in show for teenagers and young adults? This was the answer to my heart’s desire to reach more young people for a longer period of time. Now I could be in their homes or cars every week.

In January of 1991 we launched Dawson McAllister Live. A call-in talk radio show for teenagers was a radical idea at the time, but it began to work almost instantly. Stations were being added quickly and more and more teenagers and young adults were calling in every week. Eventually the show was heard on 250 stations across the country.

So you see, I didn’t set out to be a radio host. I set out to follow God’s call on my life to help young people in trouble and in following that call, God led me to radio.

Then in 2005, this calling led me to another radio endeavor. I was still burdened to reach more people, and I began dreaming of taking my show to Top 40 radio stations, knowing that was where I could reach even more young adults. Again doors were opened, and Dawson McAllister Live signed on with its first affiliate station; KJYO in Oklahoma City. Eventually more than 140 stations would air the show with a weekly audience of over 1 million listeners.

Why People Listen

The show has been blessed with a great response from listeners over the years. We always had more calls than we could answer and the reviews were great. In reflecting on why the show resonates with so many people, I have a few ideas.

Realized They Aren’t Alone

For the first time, people heard other people talking about the same kind of struggles they were facing and realized they weren’t alone. I often hear from people who say they never called into the show personally but took the advice I gave on the radio for themselves, and it made all the difference. Like this caller who said she would hear me giving advice to other people and could relate to it and it was like I was talking to her directly. Take a listen.

Listening to Your Show Made All the Difference

Genuine Care

Another reason I’ve been able to connect with so many people is they know I honestly care about them. As I mentioned before, God gives me a love for each caller and it’s genuine. If you are faking your concern for someone, they’ll know. They can spot a fake a mile away. But people can sense my authenticity…my heart-felt desire for them to really get out of the mess they are in and get help. And because of that I am able to earn their trust. They open up to me on national radio with stuff they have never told anyone before.

The Truth is Told

Finally – I’m not afraid to cut straight to the issue and be very direct. Live radio doesn’t allow me time to step lightly around the subject. I have to get to the heart of the problem quickly and be as honest as I can. People respect that. In fact, they expect it. I don’t try to cover anything over with pretty platitudes. I call it like it is. Often for the first time, someone cared enough for them to speak the truth, and the truth is a powerful tool.

Radio Moments that Moved Me

Knowing that God has used me all these years to impact the lives of so many listeners is humbling. Every time I hear a story of how someone’s life was touched by something I said, I am so thankful God called me to this work. A few weeks ago during my on-line show, I shared with my co-host, Rachel Cardinal, some of my most memorable moments. I hope you will find them encouraging as well.

SHOW REFLECTIONS

Please tune in live on-line…Sunday nights at 7pm. Remember, its’ a show for you, no matter what you are going through.

Love,

Dawson

Finding Purpose, A Cheating Boyfriend, and Jealousy: EP 12

The Hard Times Were the Best Times Because…

In This Episode:

Looking for Purpose

Luke was kicked out and has been living in his car for 2 weeks. He just found a friend to stay with and is looking for a job but things are not going his way yet. He’s determined not to quit trying. In the midst of all his struggles, he’s looking for his purpose.
Sometimes hard times force us to look for answers to life’s questions; such as: Why am I alive? What is the purpose of my being here? Luke is searching for the answers to those hard questions.

Played by Her Boyfriend

Nakita’s boyfriend played her pretty hard. She stood by his side, loved him and supported him. Instead of being faithful to her and treating her well, he lied to her and cheated on her. Now, the girl he cheated with, is pregnant. Nakita is having a hard time letting go of him but the truth is, there are no roads which lead back to him.

Jealousy Is Tearing Her Apart

What do you do when a friend shines brighter than you? Renee’s friend is getting all the attention and Renee is jealous of her. Renee says jealousy is ruining her life. The truth is, if we compare ourselves to others, it can cause us to have a jealous spirit. Renee doesn’t need to compare herself to her friend. Her friend may be beautiful and get lots of attention but Renee has been made in God’s image and has her own great qualities, especially in the eyes of God.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Most people’s problems are so deep and complicated, they are not solved on their own. I give advice which can help but Luke, Nakita, and Renee need to take the next right step. It’s not going to be easy but that’s why we have a lot of resources to help them and you, if you are facing your own struggles.

Resources to help you with finding purpose and relationship struggles:

Take a look at my eBooks: Understanding a Relationship with God, Understanding Cheating, and Understanding Self-Worth.
Check out my blogs: How to Spot a Toxic Friend, Your BF/GF is Cheating on You, Now What, and Versus of Hope for Relationships, Sex, and Cheating.
To learn more about having a meaningful relationship with God, check out my podcast episode 9: Find Hope and Peace Through a Relationship with God. I talked to a guy named Ronnie. The call was amazing, it really spoke to me. I think you’ll like it a lot. It just might be the most important podcast you’ll ever listen to.
Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to the ThePrayerZone.com and check it out.
Need to talk about your issues? Sign up for an Email Mentor, an online coach who will email you and come along beside you to offer support.

Would you consider doing something for me?

If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Join me in my next episode where I talk with Calvin, Erin, and Chris, who are all dealing with parents against their relationships. Calvin’s girlfriend’s dad hates him. Erin’s mom is not happy about her dating an older guy, and Chris’ parents don’t like that he is back with his ex. My goal is to offer them insights which could help them and hopefully help you as well.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
Dawson

My Hero – Billy Graham

by Dawson McAllister

God used Billy Graham to change my life. As I reflect back, Billy Graham was one of the top 5 people that had a dramatic influence over me.

This man inspired me greatly. He was a shining example of someone who dedicated his life to reaching people who were searching for real and lasting hope.

In many ways, he motivated me to spend my whole life reaching out to hurting teenagers and young adults.

I had the distinct privilege of meeting Billy Graham on a couple of occasions. One time when I was very young and another when I was starting my own ministry.

Last week at the age of 99 Billy Graham passed on to heaven. He is famously quoted throughout his life as saying, “My home is in heaven. I’m just passing through this world.” So we rejoice that he is now home with Jesus. As Billy Graham is laid to rest, I pause to reflect on my great memories of meeting my hero.

But first, let us remember who Billy Graham is…

Billy Graham’s Message

Billy Graham was a very influential evangelist and preacher in America. He held large indoor and outdoor rallies calling people to a relationship with Jesus Christ. His sermons were broadcast nationally on radio and television, beginning in the 1940’s until 2005 when he retired. He preached to live audiences of over 210 million people in more than 185 countries.

“Billy Graham pursued a singular vision—to share the love of Jesus Christ with all who would listen. In doing so he has met with Presidents, kings, queens, celebrities, and everyday men, women, and children. No matter his audience, the message is still the same. “Everywhere I go I find that people … both leaders and individuals … are asking one basic question,” Billy Graham has said. “‘Is there any hope for the future?’ My answer is the same, ‘Yes, through Jesus Christ.’” Billy Graham Library

Billy Graham’s message never changed. It is a simple message, but one that comes straight from God’s Word. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). A message of God’s love, God’s forgiveness, and God’s salvation through Jesus Christ.

To learn more about his message watch this: A Tribute to Billy Graham

My Personal Memories of Meeting Billy Graham

The first time I had an encounter with Billy Graham, I was but 10 years old and our whole family attended one of his crusades in a stadium in Minneapolis.

Once the crusade was over, he stepped off the stage and was heading for the exit. Several hundred people and I had the same idea, to shake Billy Graham’s hand. When I got within a few feet of him, people were surrounding him, wanting an autograph or to have Billy pray for them. I just wanted a handshake, so I finally grabbed Billy’s hand even as the crowd continued to grow. He drug me several feet before I let go. I’ll never forget that day, the day Billy Graham sort of shook my hand.

On Stage with Billy Graham

Years later, I was working in youth ministry in Southern California and Billy Graham was coming to town. I worked hard to spread the word about the Billy Graham crusade, encouraging teenagers and young adults to attend. I was invited to sit on the stage during the event. Before it began, Billy came over to me, reached out his hand for a handshake and thanked me for all the work I had done for teenagers. I was blown away by this meeting. He was a shy man with intense humble eyes.

I was sitting no more than 10 feet from Dr. Graham as he preached, right next to one of his personal aids. During his rally, the aid leaned over and said, “Did you know that Dr. Graham stepped on a bar of soap this afternoon and cracked 3 ribs?” He went on to say, “Billy is wearing a bullet proof vest and is in much pain.” I watched him as he preached. You could tell he was hurting, but he made it through the sermon. When the alter call started, thousands of people walked to the stage to accept Jesus Christ as Lord of their life. I thought, “What a man, preaching in pain and look at the results.” It was a once in a lifetime experience I will never forget.

Our friend and recording artist, Lacey Sturm, shares her tribute to Billy Graham in this video. His message touched so many!

Lacey Sturm: “We’re Still Here” To Continue Billy Graham’s Message.

Billy Graham…What a man! What a ministry!

If you are interested in learning more about where Billy Graham, Lacey Sturm and I all find our hope. Please download this free eBook Understanding a Relationship with God.

What To Do When We’re Mad At God

by Dawson McAllister

Are You Mad At God?

I’ve got to believe at some point in your life, you’ve raised your fist and shouted out in anger at God. Most of us have done it.

Maybe your parent died, or you had a friend get seriously sick, or even killed. Maybe you have cancer, or some kind of handicap. These and other serious issues enter our lives, making it easy to target God for our pain.

Someone described anger this way: Anger is a human emotional response to situations that are either out of our control or out of our ability to understand, or both.

Have you ever wondered why we get so angry at God? That’s what I want to talk about, because I can assure you that while God allows us to cry out to Him, He doesn’t want us stuck in rage towards Him.

What are some of reasons why we get mad at God?

The main reason we get so upset with God is because we think He owes us something. This usually happens in two ways:

1) We don’t get something we want.

Have you ever really wanted a relationship with that perfect girl or guy? Or you really wanted that job you knew for certain would be perfect for you? When these things didn’t work out, you no doubt found yourself hurt and disappointed. Our first impulse is almost always to blame God.

Daphne wrote: When we get mad at God it is really like a 2-year-old throwing a fit because Mommy or Daddy won’t let them stick their finger in the light socket. The 2-year-old can only see what he/she wants, the parent sees the bigger picture, and the danger. When we are mad at God we show our immaturity, ignorance, and our shortsightedness.

2) We get something we DON’T expect.

When something bad happens to someone we love, or to us, or someone gets really sick, or even dies we wonder why these things have to happen. We think of God as a big genie in the sky who should only give us good things and prevent the bad.

I received a comment from someone who said: Some people wonder why their lives end up being a certain way, and they blame God for it, because if God really cared for them, then He wouldn’t let them suffer.

For more on reconciling the goodness of God and bad things in the world read these blogs from organizations we partner with:

Where is God in the midst of tragedy?

How Can God Allow So Much Evil and Suffering?

We think, “If God is so loving, why am I in so much pain? Is He punishing me for no reason by allowing horrible things to happen to me, or the people I love, or even the world?”

We think God owes us something.

Both of these situations can make a person feel like God doesn’t care about us. After all the prayers we’ve prayed, God still didn’t heal your brother’s cancer, or get you the job you wanted.

Joe wrote:I have to admit that I am angry at God. The more I have prayed for help and guidance, the more I get nothing. He is ignoring me. It’s His right to do with me what He will, but I am frustrated because I have done what I think I am supposed to do and yet no response, no help.

We get angry when we think God owes us something. When in fact, God owes us nothing.

We get angry when we think God owes us something. When in fact, God owes us nothing. #madatGod Click To Tweet

A couple other reasons:

We get angry with God when we don’t know all the facts. It’s so easy to think we know everything, but we can only see a very small part of the picture.
We get angry at God when we see others claim to know Him, and then act like hypocrites. It’s easy to blame God for the faults of others.

These are just a few reasons why people get angry with God. Of course, there are many more.

How to get over being mad at God – Know what you can expect from Him.

If we think God is going to be our genie in a bottle, and make everything good in our lives, we’re going to be mad at God when something bad happens. Having faith in God is not insurance against hardships.

In the Bible Jesus says- “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

So what can we expect from God?

His Peace – If we trust in Him and believe in Him we will have peace even in the hard times. Do you want to know how to find this peace? Begin Your Journey To Peace with this great resource from Peace With God.
God Wins in the End – This world is full of sin, hate and death and that comes from the enemy, Satan, not from God. However, for all those who believe in Jesus there is glorious, eternal life in heaven.
His Comfort – He promises to be near those who are hurting. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
His love – He promises His love for us. “God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16) He loves your heart and is with you in the midst of whatever your circumstances.
Life with greater meaning and significance – If we got everything we thought we wanted, we’d be spoiled and selfish. God is a wise father who knows what we need to become the best men and women we can be.

Having faith in God is not insurance against hardships. #madatGod Click To Tweet

What can you do when you are mad at God?

1) Tell him how you feel.

The best thing you can do is tell God what you’re angry about. He wants to hear from you about what you’re thinking and feeling. Tell God honestly where you are at. God knows what’s going on inside of you, but He wants to you be able to come to Him with honesty and openness.

2) Place the blame for evil on Satan not on God.

God is good and Holy and perfect and loving. He is the opposite of evil. You may be mad at God because he didn’t prevent the bad from happening to you, but he is not to blame for the bad thing, Satan is. Jesus says in the Bible “The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.” (John 10:10)

3) Pray for courage, strength and peace to make it through the day.

Betsy wrote: I find it easiest to leave everything in God’s hands and pray that he will care for me and do what’s BEST for me, not what I want, but what is best. It’s very hard, and I have trouble with that at times, but that is my overall goal.

4) Trust that God will use a hardship for something beyond what you can see.

So can God use for everything we go through for a greater purpose? I believe He can. Ask God for understanding to see the bigger picture. Over time, you may see more clearly a how God used your trial for good.

Jill wrote honestly: I feel like I have a daily tug of war with God. I know everything happens for a reason, but when you’re lonely, broke, bored, and feel helpless, it is really hard to say, okay God, I know you’re doing this for a reason.

Betsy echoed Jill’s thoughts: After many trials I learned that it is best to accept what God has done and believe that it is for my good, whether I like it or not.

Believing He does have a reason for everything we go through helps us to trust that something bigger is going on here, even more than we can probably understand. But I’m not God, He is. And I’m just going to trust that He knows what’s going on with me.

5) Get involved in other people’s lives.

A lot of our anger and frustration in life comes from thinking about ourselves too much – we think about the way things are and how different they are from how we wish they’d be.

Yevgenia wrote: One of the best things I have learned while going through this is God won’t put you through something unless he knows you will be able to overcome it. Another way I have used these things in a positive way is by using my experiences to help others who are going through similar things in their lives.

The best way to find joy and peace from the hardships of life is to get involved in other people’s lives. Take an interest in other people and their circumstances. Share in their joy and their pain.

6) Decide to have a relationship with God.

The Bible says the only way to know God is by knowing His son, Jesus. Jesus was basically God with skin-on and gave us a way to know who He is, His love, and how be in relationship with Him.

The Bible says the only way to know God is by knowing His son, Jesus. #madatGod Click To Tweet

Lucas wrote: Sometimes only God will know why He has allowed a trial and sometimes He will reveal its purpose to us. Sometimes it’s because He is preparing us for a greater thing. Sometimes it is to show to us how little we truly love Him, and to allow us to change. Trials give us an opportunity to build our faith in a way nothing else can.

How have you dealt with your own personal anger toward God? I’d love to hear from you. Please let me know how you got over being upset with God.

Do you have questions about who God is? Check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God.

Ronnie’s Life Changing Decision: EP 9

Is Your Life a Mess?

Find Hope and Peace Through a Relationship with God.

In This Episode:

Some of our problems are so great, only God can solve them. He is the only one who has the power to rescue us and transform our lives. In this episode, I have a heart to heart talk with Ronnie who’s been hooked on meth and needs something in his life to change or he’s not going to make it.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Are you at a place in your life where your problems seem unsolvable, or where you really need something to change? If you are desperate for something more, or if you need purpose and answers for your life, this is the podcast for you. Real and lasting hope can only come through a relationship with Jesus. When we reach out to God, that’s when he rescues us.

Resources for help with making a life changing decision:

Take a look at my blogs: To Those Who Feel Worthless, What Does God Say About Who We Are, ‘Identity’: A Chat with Christian Recording Artist Colton Dixon, and 7 Things I Learned About Prayer.
Are you wondering what life’s purpose is? Download the free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God and the Basics of Christianity
Need to talk about your issues? Sign up for an Email Mentor
Need prayer? We have people that will pray for you at ThePrayerZone

Would you consider doing something for me?

If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

The next episode is where we will go in-depth into Casey, Mackenzie, and Corey’s struggles. Casey’s baby is in the hospital and she’s struggling with addiction, Mackenzie has an eating disorder and Corey’s home life is a mess. My goal is to offer insights to them which could change their lives and hopefully, yours as well.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
Dawson

Inspiring Stories of Everyday Kindness

by Dawson McAllister

Making Kindness the Norm

I imagine you have heard the term Random Acts of Kindness (RAK), but did you know that every February there is a week dedicated to RAK? I think this is awesome because anything that promotes showing kindness to others is a win in my book. In my blog, The Kindness Experiment, I talk about how I believe showing kindness truly could change the world. Today I share stories of kindness shown in normal everyday life.

In an effort to help us all make kindness the norm and not the exception, I hope to inspire you today with 25 real-life stories of random acts of kindness. I hope this list encourages you to notice those around you and become aware of how you can bring sunshine to someone’s life.

Interesting side-note before we begin:

I asked my staff to share with me their personal stories of kindness and also asked this question, “What is the nicest thing someone ever did for you?” on social media. The list below is a compilation of the TRUE LIFE stories I received. As people thought of stories to share, they mentioned that they were surprised how these times when kindness was both shown to them and by them stuck out in their memories. I imagine this is true for two reasons. First – Kindness carries that much impact. Second – It is not the norm.

25 real-life stories of random acts of #kindness from TheHopeLine staff and you! #RAK Click To Tweet

Now here we go!

Random Acts of Kindness – Inspirational Stories

We can show kindness anywhere and anytime. Don’t miss the chance to seize the opportunity wherever you are!

Ideas for Showing Kindness at a Store:

I was walking through Target and my two-year old was throwing a tantrum and another woman walked past me, smiled and said “Don’t worry. You’re a great mom.” Just the encouragement I needed.
An elderly gentleman was attempting to carry six Styrofoam coolers to his car on a windy day. As I watched, they all started to blow across the parking lot. Together we began chasing coolers, laughing at ourselves and somehow managed to get them all into his car.
I overheard a woman that was crying and upset as I was shopping for purses in a TJ Maxx. She was talking on the phone about getting fired from a restaurant due to a misunderstanding about missing money. She had walked to the TJ Maxx and didn’t have gas in her car to get home or any money for the week. I felt the Lord tugging on my heart. He told me not to judge her, not worry about why she was fired or what she would do with the money. He said help her. After her phone conversation was over I walked up to her, hugged her and gave her the $40 cash that was in my purse. I told her I would pray for her and that God loved her. She lit up and couldn’t believe it! She was so thankful that someone cared.
It was my daughter’s 1st birthday and I went to purchase a birthday cookie and cupcakes. I was so embarrassed when my debit card was declined, that I just left the store. As I was getting into my car, a gentleman who was behind me in line came out and gave me the cookie and cupcakes and said it was on him. I cried and hugged him. How do you thank someone enough?
I was checking out at Wal-Mart and the cashier had the most beautiful color of vibrant pink dyed hair that I had ever seen. So I told her I loved her hair color. She went from a blank look as she scanned my groceries to an engaging smile as we proceeded to talk about how she was able to achieve that color.
We were going in to Kroger Marketplace one day and saw gentlemen riding in one of the electric chairs the store provides. It was raining and he had a basket full of groceries. I felt this need to help him. So I went over and asked if he wanted help putting his groceries in his car. He happily agreed. I noticed he had a Korean War Veteran hat on so when he asked if I would take $5 for my help, I told him no, his service was thanks enough. He was surprised. I told him to have a good day and took the electric chair back inside.
On a day that I was really low on cash and ran into two of my friends at the store. I didn’t tell them I was having financial problems, but had only $100 for the whole month. I filled my cart and prayed the entire time I was shopping. As I was checking out, I ran into them again and they paid for my whole cart of food. They said they both heard God tell them to pay for it for me!
I am a cashier at Walmart. I had a gentleman come in, and he told me that he had to pay a large sum of money for some sort of unexpected life event. He looked like he was lacking a few days of sleep, and was stressed. With the little money he had left over he planned to buy a DVD player. When he went to pay for it, it was 58 dollars. He only had $38. He looked disappointed. I went around the counter to where he was, and paid off what else he owed on the DVD player. He had tears to his eyes and thanked me for my act of kindness. That was the best moment of my career at Walmart.

You can show #kindness anywhere and anytime. Don't miss the chance to seize the opportunity! #RAK Click To Tweet

How to show Kindness at a Restaurant:

During my college years, I worked as a waitress and one night I spilled an entire pitcher of ice water on a lady in my booth. I was mortified and did my best to help her dry off. I couldn’t stop apologizing. She was very gracious and kept telling me, “It’s O.K. sweetie.” At the end of the night, I went to clear off her table. She had left me a note on the back of her ticket that said, “You did a great job. Remember God Loves You.” Along with my biggest tip of the night!
I was finishing my internship at Walt Disney World so my mom flew down to spend a few days with me before we had to pack my things and fly back. We had a reservation at one of the park restaurants, and as we were seated, we began talking to this family at the table next to us. They were extremely nice and asked all kinds of questions about my internship. They were finishing up so our conversation was a brief five minutes. Mom and I had a nice dinner, and when we requested the bill, our server informed us that the family next to us payed for our entire bill. My mom, bless her heart, broke down with tears of happiness, and I shed a few myself. I will never ever forget that moment. (Facebook)
My granddaughter (10 years old) and I were Christmas shopping and stopped at the Mall’s food court for a quick lunch. We wanted different things so she when to get Pizza. She struck up a conversation with the woman in front of her. When she got to the front of the line the woman had paid for her food. My granddaughter was amazed and tried to insist that she pay for her own. The woman simply told her to study hard and pass it on when she got the opportunity.
A friend of mine and I went to lunch together and we could see our waitress was struggling. So we asked how she was doing. She said she was fine at first, but after some persuasion, she told us she was a single mom and didn’t have the money to cover her electric bill due that day. We asked how much she owed. We relayed our sympathies to her and went back to eating lunch. However, we both felt God tugging at our hearts to help her. I left the restaurant to go get cash and my friend spoke to the manager. The manager said she was a hard-working, honest person and he would allow her to take a break so she could go and pay her electric bill. When we gave her the money, her face was priceless. She told us how grateful she was as tears welled up in her eyes.

The Kindness Experiment

How to be kind at an airport:

A friend was walking through the airport with her 2-year-old and 3 month old, carrying a car seat and diaper bag and she was struggling to make her way to the baggage claim without losing her 2-year-old. No one paid her any attention. Finally – as she was nearing the baggage claim another lady offered to carry her car seat so she could hold her two-year old’s hand and it made all the difference.
Read Houston’s story – Would you stop to comfort a lady sobbing in the airport? Houston’s Story
One time on a very long flight from the states to Russia, I was assigned a seat next to a Russian young woman and her small child. It was a long flight and the child sat quietly for a while but then got bored and started trying to get out of his seat. His mom was calm, but you could see she was getting worn out trying to keep him entertained. Even though we couldn’t speak the same language, I started playing games with him. We drew pictures in my notebook. We had a lot of fun and before I knew it, we arrived. His mom gave me the biggest hug and I could see the gratefulness in her eyes

Examples of Kindness to students

During my senior year of high school, I had a part-time job but didn’t have much money for extras. I really wanted a yearbook but they were $50 and I just couldn’t afford it. The day came when yearbooks were being passed out. I had my little notebook of blank paper so I still get everyone’s signatures. When I heard my name called to go and pick up a yearbook, I just knew it had to be a mistake but I went ahead to check it out. The lady handing them out said with a smile, “Here’s your yearbook, someone anonymously paid for you.” I was blown away. Still to this day, I don’t know who paid for it.
As a sophomore, Sabrina Ma started an Acts of Random Kindness Club at her school as a way to deal with her own internal strife and help others – Acts of Random Kindness Club
When my parents were going through a divorce in middle school, my 7th grade teacher didn’t make a fuss when I misplaced a HUGE homework packet. She whispered to me later that she believed I did it and gave me an A. I wanted to fall apart every day during middle school, but she was a huge light in those dark times.
At the end of a year in college, I had just enough money for gas to get me back home for the summer. The air conditioner in my car wasn’t working and since it was the end of May and I had a long trip home, I asked a mechanic to check it out. He couldn’t fix the air conditioner in time, but when he brought the car back to me, he had filled the car with gas and left $7 stuck on the steering column. Not only was it a random act of kindness to me, but another assurance that God loving provides for His children.
Read Rachel’s story of the incredible impact just saying “hi” can have. Just Say “Hi”

I believe showing #kindness truly could change the world. #RAK @DawsonRadio Click To Tweet

Showing Kindness in Your Community & Neighborhood

There is town in frigid South Dakota where residents put stocking caps on all the statues in town with the known purpose that the homeless can help themselves to a hat.
My neighbor was fighting breast cancer and I saw this super-soft, long-sleeved t-shirt on-line that said “It is Well With My Soul.” I knew that quote meant a lot to her, so I ordered it and dropped it off one day with a book of prayer.
The nicest thing anyone has done for me was when a new neighbor, to whom I had been ministering, told me that she could see Jesus in me, because no one had ever shown her love the way I had shown it!
One evening as my daughter and I were leaving our church a family pulled into the parking lot in their station wagon. They were hoping to get a hot shower at the church before heading on to Indiana. As we talked, the lady shared that her husband had been laid off for some time. I could see that she was weary and losing hope. They were trying to make it to Indiana as her husband had a job waiting for him, but the trip had cost them more money than they expected. She asked if we could help her with gas. I rarely carry cash, but I had stopped at the ATM on my way. This encounter was not random. I believe our heavenly Father allowed an opportunity to bless us both with an act of kindness.
At a Christian women’s conference that I was attending with my mom and sister, I saw a lady walk in by herself. She looked lost as she scanned the crowd for a place to sit. I felt God prompting me to go and invite her to sit by us. She immediately gave me a hug and said I was an answer to prayer. Her neighbor was supposed to attend the conference with her, but had backed out at the last minute. She almost didn’t come because going alone felt lonely. However, she found the courage to attend the event by herself. Her husband had passed away and she knew she would find encouragement and comfort if she went.
I was driving home from college in a heavy rain one dark spring night in the pre-cellphone era. Suddenly, I had a flat tire about three miles from the small town where my parents lived. Sadly, I hadn’t paid attention during the tire-changing demonstration in drivers education class, so I was essentially helpless. However, just as I parked on the shoulder of the county road, I saw headlights behind me. It was a young man, accompanied by his wife. He got out and asked if I needed help, which was an understatement. He got plenty muddy and soaking wet over the next fifteen minutes as he put on my spare, while I stood there twiddling my thumbs. Then the young husband quietly returned to their car and waited until I drove off.
I was losing my hearing and was struggling to do my job as a teacher/trainer. I began to withdraw due to my loss of hearing. So I made an appointment with company that would allow me to borrow a pair of hearing aids. They made such a difference and I wanted to purchase them, but they were very expensive. Unbelievably, two friends told me they would cover the total cost. My life has been radically changed due to this gift of hearing via hearing aids.

Are you inspired yet? I hope so! Please inspire others by commenting below – let us know how someone has shared kindness with you when you weren’t expecting it or how you showed kindness to someone else.

Just Breathe [Video]

Resting in God’s Peace

Listen to this song by Jonny Diaz and remember to just breathe. Life can be so stressful, especially if you are struggling with anxiety, depression, loneliness, anger, abuse, addiction or any other tough issue that we hear about everyday on TheHopeLine. Sometimes it is important to remind ourselves to “Just Breathe”. Find hope for stress and anxiety at the feet of Jesus. God is inviting you to come and rest and just “be”. When chaos is calling, turn to God and His peace will overcome.

Never Once Have You Ever Walked Alone [Video]

Never Once by Matt Redman

Whatever struggles we are facing …depression, anxiety, cutting, relationship issues, self-esteem, addictions, etc., can often leave us feeling as if we are very much alone. But God promises that He will never abandon us. He will never leave us on our own.

For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” Hebrews 13:5

In this music video, Matt Redman, sings of God’s promise. “Never once did we ever walk alone. Never once did you leave us on our own. You are faithful. God you are faithful.”

All you need to do is call out to God. Pray to Him. Trust and believe that He is with you.

This is where we find our hope. [Read more…] about Never Once Have You Ever Walked Alone [Video]

You Are Free: Be Who You Already Are

We were not made to keep up, we were made to be free.

Rebekah Lyons wrote this book from her own experiences. She gives honest insight into her life’s challenges; discussing her fears, insecurities, and her constant striving to be accepted and loved by everyone.

We think we need to act like everyone else.

We think we need to look like everyone else.

And we think we need to be liked by everyone else.

Rebekah learned early in her childhood that she wanted to be liked, accepted and so she earned love by working hard to fit in. Her worth became tied to her accomplishments.

She explains that when our worth is tied to what we do then we start to believe we are not worthy of love unless we earn it. What she has learned in this journey we call life and her message to others is: We were not made to keep up, we were made to be free. Our worth is enough, not because of what we do but because of who we are.

Then we asked Rebekah, “How did you get to that point of feeling free?”

Rebekah talks about her broken heart from rejection and discusses how God told her, public affection will never heal private rejection. And her prayer became: “God, heal my broken heart.”

It’s not what you do, it’s who you are. @rebekahlyons Click To Tweet

God Rescued Her

When Rebekah moved to Manhattan, 7 years ago, she started experiencing anxiety and began having panic attacks. She tells us how the anxiety affected her and how she dealt with the panic attacks:

Talking-about-anxiety-and-panic-attacks

God says, perfect love casts out fear and He has not given us a spirit of fear. @rebekahlyons Click To Tweet

Rebekah had a moment where she was on the beach by herself, dancing in the wind and she describes it in the book: “I felt a glimpse of the freedom God longed for me to live into, a reckless abandon blooming into unencumbered joy.” We asked Rebekah if she thought it was possible for everyone to feel that reckless abandonment and unencumbered joy? Here’s what she said:

Joy is not the absence of darkness but confidence that the darkness will lift. @rebekahlyons Click To Tweet

Rebekah had many people say to her, “You’re writing my story.” Rebekah says it’s not just her story of struggles but it’s God’s story of rescue.

How to Deal with Anxiety, You Can’t Just Toughen Up

Tania’s Story: Not Believing in Myself

In the book, You Are Free, Rebekah Lyons invites you to:

Overcome the exhaustion of trying to meet the expectations of others and rest in the joy God’s freedom brings.
Release stress, anxiety and worry, to uncover the peace that comes from abiding in His presence.
Find permission to grieve past experiences, confess areas of brokenness, and receive strength in your journey towards healing.
Throw off self-condemnation, burn superficial masks and step boldly into what our good God has for you.
Discover the courage to begin again and use your newfound freedom to set others free.

The Kindness Experiment

The world is FULL of hurting people

Could showing kindness make an impact?

Every day on TheHopeLine, people respond to us, telling us about their burdens, sharing their depression, and expressing feelings of brokenness and deep loneliness. What can we do to impact their lives? I believe that a little kindness could go a long way because showing kindness gives others value.

The world is FULL of hurting people...Could showing kindness make an impact? @dawsonradio #kindness Click To Tweet

Here’s a glimpse at some of the comments we receive:

“I am bullied by my friends. They start teasing me spread fake things about me. My other classmates have good friends except me.” Amaya

“I remember from young on I was always obsessed with love. It was what I wanted more than anything in the world. I even subjected myself to a lot of bad treatment just to feel love. I’ve been used, abused, and mistreated by a lot of guys just to get it. Now I realize I brought it upon myself in some way.” Lindsey

“I hated myself for a while…I felt that I wasn’t worth anything and wondered why anyone would want to waste their time on me.” Betsy

“At least you have people that care and love you. I don’t have that and never did. I actually do care bout others but I have not one person asking me if I’m ok. Never did.” – JK

“Living is hard, dying is simple and easy. And to die by my choice seems to be the only way. Nobody not one friend nor family to talk to.. I’v wasted years thinking somebody could help me. The more i realise i’m just alone the more evident it becomes i’m not meant to live this life. Everything seems so pointless being alive.” – Sane

Where Does It End?

I can’t take it all in without asking myself, why so much sadness? How and where does it end?

Mother Theresa, one of the modern day saints, said it well, “The world is lost for want of sweetness and kindness. Do not forget we need each other.” She spent her life on the streets of Calcutta, India, amongst the poor and orphans and she recognized that “The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”

So I wonder…what if we were just kinder to one another? Here’s my challenge:

We Need More Kindness

For just one day take your eyes off of your own problems and considered that you are surrounded by people with problems of their own. They may look like they have it together…but, likely, you look pretty good from the outside as well. It doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting. So what if, for this one day, you simply choose to be kind?

Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless. Mother Teresa

After years of talking to teens and young adults on the radio, I know this to be true…we are all desperate to be loved and accepted. I also know that when someone is treated with kindness and respect, they feel worthy and can hold their head a little higher. Whether you live in the slums of Calcutta, a ranch in Montana, small town Ireland, or the streets of Hong Kong, ALL of humanity wants to be seen and feel like they matter.

Sound too simple?

A Day of Choosing Kindness

I get that kindness won’t solve every problem, but let’s see what it could do.

There are a million ways to show kindness.

Today I encourage you to try this:

Sit down with the girl who always eats alone and invite your friends to join you, rather than walk past her again.
Tell your sister the shirt she stole from your closet looks nice on her rather than getting back at her for taking it without permission.
Take 5 minutes of your time to call your friend who is going through a tough time. Don’t keep putting it off.
Make a point to encourage teammate who lost the game for you, rather than blaming them.
Stop and say hi to the little kid on your block who sits outside by himself most days, rather than ignoring him.

Or how about this scenario:

Every morning when you wake up you have some choices to make. For example:

You could yell at your mom, flip off the driver who turned in front of you, ignore the person who sold you coffee, and give the cold shoulder to your friend who didn’t text you back.

You could hug your mom, wave at the person who turned in front of you, make eye-contact with the person who sold you coffee and wish them a good day, and forgive your friend for the oversight and ask how their night was.

A lot of it has to do with the impact our little choices have on others.

Inspiring Stories of Everyday Kindness

Here are some more simple ideas to consider:

Tell someone you like their sweater.

Compliment your boss or teacher.

Visit with your grandma.

Ask the gas station attendant how their day is going.

Help the person who dropped their groceries.

O.K. I’ll stop now. You get what I’m talking about.

Are you wondering what’s in it for you?

Every morning when you wake up you have some choices to make. #choosekindness #stopbullying Click To Tweet

Showing Kindness Makes You Happier

We are not on this planet alone….and when we care for each other our life takes on more meaning….more purpose…and quite honestly, more joy.

It is probably obvious to point out that after a day of purposefully showing kindness, the people around you feel better.

But here is the beauty of it all. How do you think you are feeling at the end of this day? Do you feel still feel angry, frustrated, hateful, etc.? Or do you actually feel encouraged, energized, inspired and hopeful yourself?

You get it, right? Kindness has rewards on both ends! Holding on to all the angst you feel and taking it out on others will NEVER make you happier. But making someone else’s day…that will always feel good.

In fact, this is proven by research. In a study published in the Journal of Social Psychology, people were asked to take a survey measuring how satisfied they were with life. Then they were divided into groups. One group was told to perform a daily act of kindness for 10 days, the other group was told nothing. After 10 days they filled out the satisfaction survey again. The group that practiced kindness had a significant boost in happiness. And this little experiment only lasted for 10 days!

Is it really that hard to choose kindness? Are you ready to give it a try?

Kindness is Not a New Idea

Obviously the idea of being kind is not new, but I feel like it gets forgotten along the way. We get too busy, and become too self-centered. We focus on our own stuff and neglect to take the time to pay attention to others.

Did you know that the Bible often talks about being kind? “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) and “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, “ (Colossians 3:12)

God is kind and He desires for His children to be an example of Him. God hates to see us hurting and wants to use His people on earth to spread love and joy by caring for others. He wants us to love others the way He loves us.

God is kind and He desires for His children to be an example of Him. @dawsonradio #choosekindness Click To Tweet

I’ll leave you with this final quote from Mother Teresa.

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”

Love Gives Life, Love is Oxygen

Love is the Fuel for Life

Love gives life to us as we breathe it in and then we can’t help but spread the love to those around us as we breathe it out. Jarrid Wilson, author of, Love is Oxygen, wants you to know that it doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done, God loves you very much! If you want to better understand God’s love and how to harness it in the way God intended, then this book is for you.

We are giving away 5 copies of Jarrid Wilson’s book: Love is Oxygen. To be entered to win, make a comment below and retweet one of Jarrid’s tweets by September 30th!

“Love is the fuel for life, it gives us life as we breathe it in.” @JarridWilson Click To Tweet

Oxygen Gives Life to Our Souls

In the same way oxygen gives air to the lungs, love is the oxygen that gives life to our souls. This book is about Jarrid’s discovery of who God is in his life and his encounter with God’s love. For many years, Jarrid knew of God’s love and knew God loved him but had never really grasped a hold of it. It wasn’t until Jarrid was at his lowest point and didn’t want to do life anymore that he had a revelation of God’s love. He had googled, “painless ways to commit suicide” and he told God he didn’t want to feel this way anymore. That’s when he heard God tell him, “I don’t want you to feel this either.” Jarrid soon realized that God had a better life for him and thus began his journey of understanding and accepting God’s love. Jarrid wrote this book because he wants you to understand and personally experience God’s love.

“Love is the oxygen that gives life to our souls.” @JarridWilson Click To Tweet

3 Biblical Truths

Jarrid says there are 3 truths from the Bible (which are not necessarily easy to believe) but they are God’s truth which can help you start to understand how much God loves you and transform your life:

God loves you.
Every life matters.
Everyone has a purpose.

We can take these truths and put our faith in them. God says, the truth shall set you free so by starting to profess and believe these truths you can start to find freedom and understand God’s love for you. Read and say these as much as you need to:

God loves me.
My life matters.
I have a purpose.

You are loved by God! Your life matters! You have a purpose! If you can believe these truths, it will change your life. If you think you don’t matter, you do. Have you contemplated that you have no purpose? It is not true, you absolutely do have a purpose. God loves you, not because of anything you have done or haven’t done but because He created you and loves you just because you are who you are. He made you in His image and he wants to have a relationship with you. He’s already poured out his love (as much as you need – like oxygen), now you just need to recognize it and accept it.

Depression, Meds, and Churches and Mental Health

Jarrid Wilson also addresses controversial mental health issues in his book. You can listen to our interview with Jarrid Wilson for answers to important questions about mental health. Do you want to know…?

If taking medication for depression or for any other mental health issue is a sin.
If God has fully freed Jarrid from depression. (Can He and does God do that?)
How churches can help people dealing with mental health issues.
Or if you want to be encouraged, that it’s okay to not be okay.

In this book, Jarrid Wilson, shares about when he felt suicidal and some other heartbreaks and failures in his life. He also shares about the freedom he’s found by understanding and accepting God’s love. He wants you to understand God’s love too! In our interview with Jarrid, he said, “If only one person’s life is changed through reading this book, then it was all worth it.”

It's okay to not have it all together. None of us do. @JarridWilson Click To Tweet

For more information on Jarrid Wilson’s book, Love is Oxygen, or to get a free chapter, visit: loveisoxygen.com.

Jarrid Wilson is a husband, father, pastor, author of several books, founder of Anthem of Hope, and follower of Jesus. TheHopeLine wants to give a shout out to Jarrid for giving us some of his time to talk about God’s love!

Win a free copy of, Love is Oxygen, by Jarrid Wilson. Make a comment below and retweet one of Jarrid’s tweets by September 30th to win!

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

6 Ways to Silence Shame

Shame Makes Us Feel Unworthy, but God Says We Are Worthy Because of His Grace

Written by: Kris Vallotton, this post was originally published on MoralRevolution.com, it has been reused with the permission of Moral Revolution.

Have you ever heard that little voice in your head say…?

“You don’t fit in”

“Nobody likes you”

“You’re stupid”

“You’re the only one who has made this mistake”

“How could God love you? I mean He really knows everything about you”

“You’re not lovable”

“You will never fulfill your destiny”

Have you ever felt like…?

“Everyone is against me”

“I’m not as good as others”

“I just can’t do anything right”

“Maybe if I just try harder, then…”

“I’m all alone”

“I hate myself”

“I’m worthless”

If you answered “yes” to any of these statements, shame could be speaking to you.

SHAME HAS BEEN SPEAKING SINCE THE GARDEN OF EDEN

When Adam and Eve first sinned in the Garden of Eden, guilt was an appropriate symptom of their disobedience. Guilt is built into our conscience to let us know when we have done something that threatens our connection with God.

Guilt is actually a good thing. It’s like a warning light on a car’s dashboard that lets you know when something needs attention before the engine blows up.

Guilt is from God

Shame is from Satan

Guilt says, “You did something wrong,” like when the apostle Paul said, “All have sinned” (Rom. 3:23). Guilt says, “I did something bad.” Guilt is about what we’ve done.

Shame goes further: It speaks to who we are.

Shame is the sense of feeling unworthy. It’s a core (even subconscious) belief of unworthiness.

Shame says, “You are wrong.” “You are a sinner.” “You are bad.” “You are not good enough.”

Shame asks, “Who do you think you are?

SHAME ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK TO OUR IDENTITY

If the devil can convince us that we do not have a supernatural identity as children of God, then he can derail us from our supernatural destiny.

When Jesus was baptized, he heard the Father say, “This is my son…” Identity. Interestingly, Jesus did not preach one message, heal one sick person, or prophesy until he first heard of his true identity. We can only fulfill our supernatural destiny to the degree that we believe our supernatural identity.

SHAME TRIES TO TALK US OUT OF OUR IDENTITY

After his baptism, Jesus was led out into the desert to be tempted by the devil. Two times, the devil assaulted Jesus’ identity when he challenged him, saying, “If you are the Son of God, turn these stones into bread.” And then, “If you are the Son of God, jump off of the temple’s roof.”

The devil was attempting to tempt Jesus into performing to prove his identity because he knew that if Jesus took the challenge, it would demonstrate that he did not really know who he was. Moreover, he would have to spend the rest of his life proving his identity over and over. Knowing our true identity prevents performance for approval.

‘IDENTITY’: A CHAT WITH CHRISTIAN RECORDING ARTIST COLTON DIXON

SHAME IS THE SOURCE OF PERFECTIONISM

Shame always seeks to seduce its prey into perfectionism. When we listen to shame, we will never feel secure in our identity. We will always need to do more to prove that “we are O.K.”, while never actually appeasing shame’s appetite for approval.

The pursuit of feeling worthy by being better, more successful, thinner, smarter, wealthier, accomplished, or even in “good” busyness, is a futile attempt at cultivating a godly sense of worthiness.

The apostle Paul states in Ephesians 2:10 that, “We are saved by grace, not of ourselves; it is a gift of God, so that no one can boast.” That means you cannot earn worthiness. We are worthy of God’s love because of His grace – nothing more.

Additionally, we were God’s treasures before we ever became Christians – “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).” When God created Adam and Eve, He said that they were “good;” they had intrinsic worth – worthiness – His treasures.

SHAME SILENCERS:

Learn how to recognize God’s voice from the devil’s voice.

Ask yourself, “Is what I’m hearing the truth or a lie?” Try writing down all of the times shame speaks to you during the day. You may be surprised at how often shame is speaking.

Learn how to be vulnerable.

Shame loves secrecy. The truth will set us free. Being open and honest requires great risk, but also reaps great reward. Begin with yourself, God, and then reach out to someone who can give you good feedback. Telling someone that we have been listening to shame releases us from the power of secrecy, and silences shame.

CHANGE THE PATTERN OF NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

Learn to recognize your feelings.

Empathy is the antidote to shame. When we are able to discern and identify our feelings and the feelings of others, it creates a pathway to finding out what we need from God, others, and ourselves. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” “What do I need?”

Learn to take every thought captive.

You are going to be tempted to believe and act in negative, hurtful, and dysfunctional ways to the shame messages spoken to you. Shame is silenced when we take ownership of our mistakes, accept our limitations, deficiencies, and limitations, as well as interpret other people’s motives correctly. Take responsibility in submitting shaming thoughts and feelings to become obedient to Christ’s perspective (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Learn how to listen through the ears of faith.

Ask yourself, “What does God want to say to me about my identity right now?” “What does He think about me?” Additionally, begin reading Scripture from the perspective that God is for you, that you are a good man or woman, that you are a saint saved by grace, an overcomer, the apple of His eye.

AGE DOESN’T MATTER…YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Learn to be grateful.

The fact is that you are wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14). Being grateful for how God has made you in all of your limitations and imperfections will help you to replace shame with acceptance and love. Every time you hear shame messages left on your mental voice mail, erase them with gratitude. Thankfulness prepares the way for breakthrough.

Be grateful for how God has made you in all of your limitations and imperfections. @kvministries Click To Tweet

Moral Revolution promotes a culture of love, honor, and respect by imparting vision, restoring wholeness, and empowering choice!

Want more? Read more of Moral Revolution’s blogs…HOT TOPICS!

All Photos by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

TheHopeLine’s eBook on self-worth gives practical advice on how to increase your self-esteem.

Tania’s Story: Not Believing In Myself

I always felt worthless…not good enough, not smart, nor beautiful. I wanted to do things that I knew weren’t right, but I wanted to do those things to forget…to forget what I was going through at the moment . I felt like everyone around me disliked me. I was so insecure of me, all of me. I thought about doing things but every time I had a thought of those, my daughter’s little smile would appear. Every time I was down crying , she was there to pick her mamma back up. Looking at her motivated me to think better and to do better things not only for me but most importantly for my daughter. I became a Christian and accepted Jesus Christ in my life about 6 months ago…trust me when I say he is real, I love him so very much. I know I’m a strong single mother and will be able to do it on my own without having to depend on anything. I’m no longer insecure about myself because I know that I’m perfect to God. I wake up every morning calling myself beautiful after looking in the mirror while brushing my teeth. God is amazing. And remember: “Believe in yourself, anything is possible!”

Tania

Believe in yourself, anything is possible! - Tania Click To Tweet

If you are feeling alone and are dealing with something that is emotionally painful…let us help you. Chat with a caring, loving HopeCoach!

Photo by Dakota Corbin on Unsplash

Don’t stay in that place of feeling worthless, it’s going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it’s possible. TheHopeLine’s eBook on self-worth gives practical advice about how to increase your self-esteem.

‘Identity’: A Chat with Christian Recording Artist Colton Dixon

In a society so ready to define us by our Instagram feeds, it feels counter-cultural to turn to a higher power. In his third studio album “Identity,” Colton reminds us that God never intended anyone or anything other than Himself to label us.

Since placing in the top 7 during “American Idol’s” 11th season and performing for more than a million fans across the country on tours with Britt Nicole, Third Day and TobyMac, it would be easy for Colton Dixon to allow his success to become his identity. Instead, Colton chooses his identity solely in Christ.

The Christian recording artists says, “The only thing that’s going to really satisfy you is the Lord, and He’s the only thing that will continue to blow your mind as you live your life. He will always exceed your expectations, always.”

The only thing to really satisfy you is the Lord! @coltondixon Click To Tweet

Find out what made Colton want to pursue a career as an artist:

Letting God lead the way – “God put the call in my life and He started opening the doors, and here I am.” – Colton Dixon, on leaving baseball to pursue music.

Figuring out what matters, and what doesn’t – “It started as a personal thing, trying to figure out where I placed my identity, and figuring out the things that mattered, and the things that didn’t.” – Colton Dixon, on the inspiration that led to Identity.

Find out how Colton met his wife, Annie and what has made their marriage successful:

It would also be natural for Dixon to stake his identity in his marriage, but he doesn’t look to his relationship with his bride, Annie, to define him, though her mark on his life is woven into the fabric of his album Identity. Meeting through mutual friends, Colton and Annie are now celebrating their one year wedding anniversary. As to what contributes to a successful marriage?

A servant’s posture – “The servant posture [is what helps make a marriage successful.] Every day I have a chance to serve my wife, [like] doing something she wants to do verses something I want to do. I’m not perfect at it, but I’m learning.” – Colton Dixon, on getting married.

Learn to reflect on your own life – “I definitely deal with some topics that might be hard to hear. I want fans to feel motivated and encouraged, but I want these songs to challenge them and make them think about their own lives.”

The Other Side – “Death is inevitable, and know that they’re on the other side and they’re living it up right now.”

Dedicated to Annie’s brother Dillon who passed away shortly before Annie and Colton met, the song The Other Side talks about the sensitive topic of death and what it means to lose a loved one.

How to know what your true identity is:

In a culture of teens and young adults tying their self-worth to their online audience and how they’re perceived via social media, how do we put an end to the superficial characterizations? By putting God back into our Identity.

God Defines You – “God defines us in His word and we’re precious and we’re beautiful to him. He made no two people exactly alike… God cared about you so much to make you unique, that in and of itself is enough for me.”

God cared about you so much to make you unique. @coltondixon Click To Tweet

“Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.” — Colossians 3:11

“No matter who you are or what you’re going through, YOU MATTER.” -Colton Dixon

Identity, the third studio album from Colton Dixon, is intentionally divided into three sections – Mind, Body and Spirit – each separated by an instrumental, cinematic interlude. The MIND delves into the way our thoughts direct out actions and control the way we see ourselves. The BODY explores our humanity and how we are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. The SPIRIT provides moments of contemplation and peaceful reflection. With every note and lyric, Colton’s heartbeat is to express the truth he’s uncovered in his own life over and over again. This world can’t define us, because God’s love is our identity.

TheHopeLine’s eBook on self-worth gives practical advice on how to increase your self-esteem.

Rage At God

This post was originally published on Heart Support, it has been reused with permission by: The Heart Support Team. Jake Luhrs, lead singer of Grammy-nominated metal band, August Burns Red, created Heart Support as a place where every music fan can heal and grow stronger.

“My rage at God had manifested itself in my everyday life.”

Depression. Anxiety. PTSD. Bipolar. All terms I have heard in the last year as people try to explain what’s wrong with me. I’m 21 and just now receiving the help I needed 6 years ago. I started cutting when I was 15. It was my way of controlling my world that was quickly spiraling downwards. When I started high school, I put so much of my self-worth in the people around me. I needed a boyfriend, and I wasn’t picky or cautious. A year into my first relationship, I was raped. I had that gift taken from me by someone I thought loved me. So here’s life knocking me down another notch, and the depression became accompanied by shame and guilt.

I learned to hide my cuts, and began to think that sex was no longer special. I jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend and the rampaging depression from everyone. When I was being used, I accepted it because it was the only way I felt like I meant anything. I was slowly losing my relationship with God. But I didn’t care because I felt abandoned.

I was slowly losing my relationship with God. But I didn’t care because I felt abandoned. #anger Click To Tweet

I was then violently raped by another boyfriend. At that point I felt completely alone. I still went to church because I ran sound for the band, and it was something I loved to do, but I wasn’t there for the right reasons. I still hadn’t learned my lesson with men, and entered an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship. I was forced to cut ties with my family and friends. I started suffering from anxiety attacks and could feel the suicidal thoughts start to become stronger. I finally got out of the relationship, but my depression was so severe that I couldn’t control my cutting and suicidal thoughts. I was angry. Angry at my situation, angry at him, but mostly angry at God. How could he let this happen to me? I entered counseling and was diagnosed with PTSD. When things weren’t getting better, I entered an outpatient day therapy program through the hospital. I refused God and his love because I couldn’t forgive myself and because I blamed him for my problems.

We're all deserving of the grace that he offers, including this imperfect, beaten down, abused me. Click To Tweet

Fast forward to now, almost a year later, with a DUI, drug habits, and a self-loathing that I couldn’t control, I finally called out for help. My rage at God had manifested itself in my everyday life and I became violent towards my family. I was at my breaking point and I couldn’t handle it on my own. I prayed and prayed for an answer to my problems and one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. God wasn’t the cause of my problems in life… I was. I had turned away from the one that loved me through all of my mistakes and had the grace I needed to accept. I find out soon if I have bipolar disorder, and I’m praying constantly for an answer along with the strength to accept God’s forgiveness and his unending love.

We are all deserving of the grace that he offers, including me. This imperfect, abused, and beat down person is deserving of grace. Deserving of love. And most importantly, forgiveness. Learning that lesson has been the hardest one to grasp in the midst of everything I’ve been dealing with. But we, as his children, need to ask for it before it can be given. Only then does He know that we are ready to receive it. So I pray not only for myself, but for everyone struggling in their life, to reach out and accept His grace and love, because YOU are worth it. YOU are deserving of it. And so am I.

In His name,
Taber

‘Out of the Dark’: Mandisa chats with TheHopeLine!

Deep depression, loss of her best friend, questioning God, turning to food for comfort, being super single…all things Mandisa opened up about in her chat with TheHopeLine!

Mandisa was so sweet when she spoke to us and the really cool thing is…she is not ashamed to talk about her struggles. She is authentic and real and brings a lot of raw emotion into her music!

Mandisa’s new album, Out of the Dark, is based on personal experience. She says God has pulled her out of the dark and now she has a renewed passion for her music and a willingness to be transparent and vulnerable about the challenges she faced the last several years.

Depression can be a deep dark hole that sucks you in further and further. It can be all-consuming and you can feel like there is no hope. Depression can be a struggle all of it’s own or it can stem from so many other things like anxiety, grief, relationship issues, abuse. If you are in that dark place right now or have been there, you are not alone. Singer, songwriter and Grammy winner, Mandisa has been very transparent about the deep depression she faced in the last few years and she tells TheHopeLine what it was like. She says, at one point she was comfortable in that dark place. She explains, “I shut out everyone, I shut out God, I shut out everyone who loved me. I hardly left my house. I stayed in my house everyday. I ate and I watched television and I’ve never been more miserable in my life.”

Mandisa chats about her struggle with depression.

When you are in a deep depression, it’s all consuming so it’s very hard to make positive steps to move forward or get help. Mandisa was in a depression for about 3 1/2 years until she reached a turning point. Mandisa said God showed her 3 things:

We have to walk in community with one another. – “There’s a difference in needing time to re-energize and in isolating and shutting out the world.” Her loved ones loved her too much to leave her where she was. Friends and family are important!
Stop focusing on your mistakes in the past. – “I had to stop battling with shame because of all the mistakes I made.”
Look for those flickers of light that come in so many places. – “Darkness is overwhelming but it only takes one flicker of light to chase out that darkness.”

The turning point for Mandisa and what she learned along the way.

Mandisa’s Grammy winning song “Overcomer” was written for her best friend, Kisha, to encourage her while she was battling breast cancer. Mandisa later wrote “Prove Me Wrong” from the anger she was feeling after her friend died. She says the song is not tied up with a pretty Christian bow but it’s honest and heartfelt. She says through her grief she learned, “When you are dealing grief, you have to bring that to the Lord or you are going to bring it somewhere else.”

Mandisa tells us the meaning behind the song, "Overcomer."

Find out which 2 songs on her new album, Out of the Dark, are her favorites:

Mandisa's favorite songs on her new album.

If you are struggling with depression, no matter the cause, to find out more and get help, check out our free eBook on Depression!

6 Questions with Brian Johnson (Bethel Music)

Brian & Jenn Johnson: After All These Years

I got a chance to chat with Brian Johnson about the new album he and his wife released, After All These Years. Brian and Jenn Johnson have done many compilations with well-known artists over the years and they are worship leaders at Bethel Church in Redding, California and founders of Bethel Music and WorshipU. Their album, After All These Years, is their first solo release album together in over 10 years.

Brian says, “I think with this album, it’s not as much about being wowed by something but about being honest and raw.” He says, “We purposely, on many occasions, decided to keep things the way they were – even a vocal that’s not perfect.”

Have you ever asked what is the purpose of worship? Do worship leaders ever share about their own personal struggles? Have you been turned off from God because of what someone did? Did you know that worship can help with anxiety and depression? Brian shared answers to these questions and more. Be sure to click each of the links below to hear the actual interview.

What inspired you to write this album?

Brian explained, “The idea of doing an album after all these years is the title of the album, After All These Years, because of what happened throughout these past ten years. In this interview Brian shared openly and honestly about his nervous breakdown and other experiences that inspired their lyrics and compositions. Be sure to listen to the audio clip.

What inspired you to write this album?

What got you through your nervous breakdown?

Have you wondered if celebrities ever have struggles? And how do they overcome them? Brian shared with me about his own nervous breakdown and said that he had to “go deep with God.” Listen to what he shared in this clip of the interview.

What got you through your nervous breakdown?

How do you think worshiping God and seeking God can help with anxiety and depression?

Brian said, “I think it’s like a reset button, your phone gets bogged down and starts acting weird and you got to reset it. I think we are the same way. I think it brings things back in the appropriate perspective and balance.”

In honesty Brian shared this with me, “In my case, I hit a wall. I got put in the hospital that day, I just couldn’t breathe, the emotional and spiritual became physical. I can coin this phrase, but consider it a gift when God becomes your only option. There is a point in all of our lives where God becomes the only option. The beautiful thing is when nothing works and we have one option with God. That’s what happened. It’s terrible, but at the same time the best thing that ever happened to me.”

How do you think worshipping God and seeking God can help with anxiety and depression?

The beautiful thing is when nothing works and we have one option with God. @brianjohnsonM Click To Tweet

Why do you think worship is so important?

Brian believes, “The beautiful thing about worship is there is a progression sometimes, it’s like processing, like insecurity processing doubt…leading us into those moments, but God you were faithful here, you were faithful there. I can’t feel or see, but I’m going to take a step of faith right now and sing out that I trust you.”

What’s the inspiration with the song, You’re Gonna Be Okay?

Jenn wrote this song and Brian shared that, “She wrote it for a few of her friends, almost prophetic, declaring over them, prophesying: I’m seeing something, I’m feeling something from the heart of God that I know that you don’t know and you’re not feeling, but I’m just telling you right now, with the authority of heaven, you’re going to be okay.”

What is the inspiration behind the song, You're Gonna Be Okay?

I’m just telling you right now, you’re gonna be okay. @jennjohnson20 Click To Tweet

Is there something you would say to someone who is a non-believer or who has not been exposed to much worship music or this kind of music?

Brian said this, “I just feel there are so many distractions and things that get in the way of a pure relationship with God. And it’s actually not complicated. It’s quite simple.There is a Creator that created everything and sent His son. When we approach that, almost with a clean slate and just say: God if you are real, speak to me, if you are real, reveal yourself to me. I believe God will always reveal himself to a hungry heart, to someone that knows that they are not God, to someone that really, genuinely wants to know their Creator.”

Is there something you would say to someone who is a non-believer or who has not been exposed to much worship music or this kind of music?

If you are struggling with making a connection with God, Brian shared this, “When I had my nervous breakdown, I had to connect with God as if I was on a deserted island for the rest of my life with nobody else there. I know that there has to be something that’s bigger than me that holds this world together. You look at science, it’s amazing what it takes for things to grow and live. When you approach God from that point of view you will find God as clear as day. I think keeping your relationship with God is just as important. Approaching God as if, that sacred time with Him, that sacred moment, is a big deal.”

I believe God will always reveal himself to a hungry heart. @brianjohnsonM Click To Tweet

Connect with Brian and Jenn Johnson: http://brianandjennjohnson.com/

Does anything Brian said challenge your way of thinking or did anything he say make an impact on you? Please leave us a comment below.

Rachel & TheHopeLine Team

If you are dealing with stress and anxiety, like Brian has, to get help, download your free eBook today.

John Cooper, from Skillet, Talks About The Song, “Stars”

Skillet’s song, “Stars” is featured in the movie, The Shack.

John Cooper, lead vocalist for Skillet, talks about writing the song “Stars” and what the song means to him personally. He shares some personal struggles he had as a teenager. And he talks about how his song came to be on the soundtrack of the movie, The Shack.

What inspired you to write the song, “Stars?” What does the song mean to you personally?

John Cooper: The song is about we believe that God is in control of very big things. In other words, most people don’t question whether the sun is going to come up the next day, if we are going to all freeze to death because the sun burns out, or the Earth in rotation, all these big things in the Universe are being run every day and we have faith for that. But a lot of times we don’t have faith for the little things: that God can help heal a relationship between a husband and a wife, or a parent and a kid, or save a marriage, or help me when I feel alone, or help me through a bad time…things like that. When I’m struggling with depression or loneliness or whatever that may be. So the song “Stars” is about the fact that God is in control of all these big things but He still knows who you are. He knows your name. He knows your pain and He knows where you live. It’s very worshipful but it’s also very personal as well.

He knows your name; He knows your pain. @johnlcooper Click To Tweet

Did you write the song “Stars” by yourself or what happened with this song?

John Cooper: This was a little bit different because normally my wife, Corey and I write most of our music but we do write with other folks as well. This is one of the only songs we’ve ever written that had 4 people involved. It was me and my wife and two other writers. It was good because I wanted to get something a little bit different than what Skillet normally does. So, I drew on some people I was a fan of and some writers and we wanted to try something new and worshipful. We’ve done things like that in the past but it’s been a very long time. And that’s why “Stars” is kind of cool. I’m a fan of music, of course, and other bands and I love it when bands do something that I’m not quite expecting.

So, I’m assuming you write the song, “Stars” first and then the movie people like your song so they come to you and say, “Can we use your song in the movie?” Is that the way it works?

John Cooper: It works in lots of different ways. In this particular situation, it was very unique because the Shack sound track is meant to be songs inspired by the film. And most people wrote new songs for it. I think we might be one of the few that did not, we happened to have an existing song that just very much tied into what the movie was about. It was meant to be. It was kind of a long, crazy bunch of events that led to this happening which all seemed kind of miraculous. I was really excited and very proud because this is a really powerful movie. I’ve seen the prerelease of it. Honestly, I watched it 5 times, I could not quit watching this movie…it was extremely moving. I think a lot of people are going to be impacted in a huge way from the film.

I watched it 5 times, I could not quit watching this movie…it was extremely moving. #TheShack Click To Tweet

You’ve released an album recently, called Unleased with this song on it?

John Copper: The album was released last August. The song “Stars” is on our record but there is the new version which is kind of the acoustic version which is on The Shack soundtrack. It’s not on the record, it’s its own release. So, it’s the same song but different versions, I guess you would say.

There’s a line in the song: “If you can calm a raging sea, you can calm the storm in me.” Do you have a personal story of God stepping in and calming a storm in your life?

John Cooper: That is my absolute favorite line in the song. To me, it not only sums up what the song is about, that very much sums up what a lot of Skillet is trying to convey in our music over our career. It’s very much us. Probably the biggest struggle in my life, my mom passed away when I was 14. She had cancer for about 3 years. When I was 11, she got diagnosed with cancer and fought that. She had operations and chemotherapy and after 3 years of fighting it, she passed away. I was a Christian and my mom was a devout believer and my family was. But nothing quite prepares you for that sort of thing. My mom used to tell me, if something happens and I do die, you can’t be mad at God. God is in control and God is good and things like that…which is great parenting and great teaching. But after she did die, my dad got remarried and there just began to be this struggle in our household and fighting. Honestly, I struggled with hatred and anger and bitterness for years and years and years. And I remember when I was 16, is probably when I really reached out to God and asked Him to calm that storm in me. I needed to know Jesus as a friend. I knew him as my Savior and my Lord but I began to talk to Him like a friend, like I need someone. That was probably my biggest moment, hardest moments of my life and some of the most beautiful too.

I really reached out to God and asked Him to calm that storm in me. @johnlcooper @skilletmusic Click To Tweet

A lot of people who come to TheHopeLine, come to us during their most time of struggling, during their darkest time. What would you say to someone who is in one of their darkest times? What do you think would help them the most in that moment in that time of their life?

John Cooper: It’s different for different people, of course. There is no easy answer that anyone can give that is going to all of a sudden make someone feel not sad or not lonely or not depressed. I will say, in my own life, reaching out to God and asking Him to be…The Bible says that the Holy Spirit is a comforter. He is someone that comforts us when we need to be comforted so that is truth from the word. I do tell people, if you reach out to God, he will comfort you, he will draw near to you. That’s also what the Bible says…if you draw near to God, he will draw near to you. It’s not going to be like you’re asking Him for help and He’s going to refuse to answer you but it also doesn’t mean everything is just going to be great all the time, that’s not necessarily what the Bible teaches. You might have to do that all the time and you might still struggle in certain ways. But I think beginning to find your value, not in yourself, and not in your achievements, or how many friends you have or how you are treated at school or your job or whatever. Finding your value in being a son or daughter of God is really what’s going to take your eyes off of yourself and onto Him. So, I do think in America we need a big dose of: It’s not about me and my life isn’t really about me. If you belong to Christ, then your life really is not your own…it belongs to Him and for His glory so if you can focus on Him, all of a sudden you’re going to find out, you’re not as sad as you used to be. It’s a little bit like having kids. When you have a kid, you don’t really have time to think of how you feel because you’re so tired all the time…you’re giving out to this child and all of a sudden you begin to be a little bit more fulfilled. You are finding your fulfillment in being there for someone else…that’s a little bit what it’s like. You’ll put your eyes on Christ and all of a sudden you won’t have time to remember you are feeling down or people don’t like you at school and things like that. I’m not minimalizing or trivializing the pain of adolescents and growing up, all those things are very real and it doesn’t mean they’re going to go away right off. But I know from personal experience, if you reach out to God, He will draw close to you.

If you belong to Christ, then your life really is not your own. @johnlcooper @skilletmusic Click To Tweet

Watch Film Trailer: THE SHACK

Connect with Skillet:

Website
Facebook
Twitter

TheHopeLine was so excited and thankful to have the opportunity to speak with John Cooper! He is an amazing guy and he is a big fan of TheHopeLine! If you have been struggling with loneliness, grief, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. TheHopeLine is here to listen and help!

What Does It Mean to be Saved by Grace?

Receiving Something You Don’t Deserve

If you have accepted Jesus’ gift of salvation, you have been saved by grace! But what exactly does that mean?

Being saved by grace means that we have received a gift from God that we do not deserve. God gives us his favor, his love, his son…despite the fact that we have done nothing to earn it.

God sent his son to pay for our sins through his death on a cross…EVEN though we are sinners who have done nothing for God. God freely gives GRACE to us out of His love for us.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

And now that we have received His Grace – we are made right with God. We can have a relationship with him. And we can look forward to eternal life in heaven with him.

Sometimes people refer to this acronym for Grace:

God’s

Riches

Christ’s

Expense

We are the recipients of all the goodness of God through Christ’s death.

This Amazing Grace has been sung about for years by millions of people.

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see.

Why would God Give Us His Grace?

God knows we are sinners. He knows we mess up. He wants us to live obedient lives but knows that we will never be able to do that on our own. Even so, He still wants a relationship with us.

So Jesus came to earth, lived a perfect life, and died a sacrificial death on a cross. All we need to do is believe that is the truth and we will be “washed clean” by Jesus’ blood. When God, the Father, looks at anyone who believes in Jesus, His son, He sees them as forgiven and pure, and they can be in relationship with Him.

What does grace look like?

Picture this: You are standing before a judge who has a huge list of all the crimes you have committed that are punishable by death. However, there is someone in the crowd who promises to take your punishment of death, and you will be given their clean slate. That results in getting something you don’t deserve. And that is what Jesus did for you. But just as you would need to ACCEPT the clean slate in court which you didn’t earn, you need to believe in and receive this same gift from Jesus.

Accepting God’s gift of grace is the best decision you can ever make!

Jesus! What a Beautiful Name!

One more song for you today. It’s all about the beautiful name of Jesus because he made a way for us to be in relationship with God. As the song says:

You didn’t want heaven without us
So Jesus, You brought heaven down
My sin was great, Your love was greater
What could separate us now.

Be encouraged by these Verses of Hope for Salvation

Who Does God Say That You Are?

In Christ:

I Am Accepted I am a child of God. (John 1:12)

I am Jesus’ chosen friend. (John 15:15)

I am holy and acceptable to God (justified). (Rom. 5:1)

I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him. (1 Cor. 3:16)

I have been bought with a price. I belong to God. (1 Cor. 6:19, 20)

I am a part of Christ’s Body, part of His family. (1 Cor. 12:27)

I am a saint, a holy one. (Eph. 1:1)

I have been adopted as God’s child. (Eph. 1:5)

I have been bought back (redeemed) and forgiven of all my sins. (Col. 1:14)

I am complete in Christ. (Col. 2:10)

I Am Secure I am forever free from punishment. (Rom. 8:1- 2)

I am certain all things work together for good. (Rom. 8:28)

I am free from any condemning charges against me. (Rom. 8:31f)

I cannot be separated from the love of God. (Rom. 8:35f)

I am hidden with Christ in God. (Col. 3:3)

I am certain that God will finish the good work he has begun in me. (Phil 1:6)

I am a citizen of heaven, along with the rest of God’s family. (Eph. 2:19)

I can find grace and mercy in times of need. (Heb. 4:16)

I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me. (1 John 5:18)

I Am Significant I am salt and light to those around me. (Matt. 5:13,14)

I am part of the true vine, joined to Christ and able to produce much fruit. (John 15:1, 5)

I am hand-picked by Jesus to bear fruit. (John 15:16)

I am a Spirit-empowered witness of Christ. (Acts 1:8)

I am a temple of God and the Holy Spirit lives in me. (1 Cor. 3:16; 6:19)

I am at peace with God and He has called me to tell others that they can also have peace with God. (2 Cor. 5:17)

I am God’s co-worker. (2 Cor. 6:1)

I am seated with Christ in heaven. (Eph. 2:6)

I am able to do all things through Christ who gives me strength! (Phil. 4:13)

More Verses of Hope.

Is My Relationship with God Secure?

Will This Last?

There are many relationships in our lives that don’t last. We might see a divorce, friends we lose track of, or maybe even the death of someone we loved. So, maybe you are wondering about this new relationship with God…will this last?

God tells us, “I will never fail you, nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5). When we place our faith in Jesus, wanting Him in our lives, we become His child and forever can rest secure in His love. The following Scripture will help you see what is now true of your relationship with Him.

We did not earn a relationship with God, nor do we have to struggle to hold onto it. The Bible is clear about this. Once we placed our faith in Jesus Christ, we were accepted by God.

“We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous [in right standing, ok with him]. He did this through Christ Jesus when [on the cross] he freed us from the penalty for our sins.” (Romans 3:22-24)

The following Scripture will help you see what is now true of your relationship with Him.

Before we became Christians…

You may not have been aware of the following. However, before becoming Christians, the Bible describes us as:

enemies of God (Romans 5:10)
helpless (Romans 5:6)
ungodly (Romans 5:6)
sinners (Romans 5:8)
lost (Matthew 18:11)
poor (Revelation 3:17)
blind (2 Corinthians 4:4)
under God’s judgment (John 3:36)
dead through our sins (Ephesians 2:1)
foolish, slaves to passions (Titus 3:3)
doing evil deeds (Colossians 1:21)
far from God (Ephesians 2:13)
without hope (Ephesians 2:12)
walking in darkness (John 8:12)

Now that we are Christians

From the moment we receive Christ into our lives, we have a new relationship with God, and a new life. Here is how the Bible describes us now that we have Christ in our life. We are:

at peace with God (Romans 5:1)
a child of God (John 1:12)
completely forgiven (Colossians 1:14)
brought near to God (Ephesians 2:13)
sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13)
no longer living in darkness (Ephesians 5:8)
members of His kingdom (Colossians 1:13,14)
loved by God (1John 4:9,10; John 15:9)
given eternal life (John 3:16)
secure in God’s love (Romans 8:38,39)
saved by God’s grace (Ephesians 2:8,9)
Christ dwells in our hearts (Ephesians 3:17)
chosen by God (Ephesians 1:4,5)
crossed from death to life (John 5:24)
alive in Christ (Ephesians 2:15)
righteous in God’s eyes (2Corinthians 5:21)
led by a caring Shepherd (John 10:27)

Jesus said, “…whoever comes to me I will never drive away” (John 6:37). He describes that further saying, “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one” (John 10:28-30). He holds us securely.

Further we can be “confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

Jesus fully paid for our sins and once we thank Him for that, receive Him into our lives, desiring for our lives to be His, He makes us His child, giving us full forgiveness and acceptance with Him.

Our Relationship is Protected

This relationship is protected, not by what we do, but because of God’s character and Jesus’ death on our behalf. Jesus purchased our relationship with Him, canceling the penalty of sin that stood between us and God. And so we become His child, forgiven, indwelt by Him, declared righteous in His eyes, because Jesus covers our sin. Unfortunately, we still will sin. We still will find ourselves choosing to do things our way instead of God’s way. But this does not change the security of our relationship with Christ. We stand secure in this relationship, because of what God says about it. “Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us” (Romans 5:1).

Salvation through Jesus is purely God’s gift, received once by faith. At that moment we have begun a relationship with God that lasts eternally. Our relationship with Christ does not hinge on personal holiness, or levels of faith, or sacrifices, or good works or religious acts. God doesn’t intend for our focus to be on our performance. He desires our focus to be on Jesus.

Unlike other relationships we have in this world, our relationship with God is secure because He brought us into this relationship in the first place,and He is faithful to keep us unto eternal life. 1 Corinthians 1:9 says “God is faithful, through whom you were called into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.”

This Guest Post comes from StartingwithGod.com, a safe place to explore your new relationship with God and ask questions about your new faith. The above article was originally published here.

How Can I Be Sure I Am Really Saved?

How do I know that Christ is in my life?

Did you receive Christ into your life according to His promise in Revelation 3:20? “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”

Knowing Jesus Christ is the most exciting relationship you can have. It is the beginning of a life of adventure with an all-loving, all-powerful God. If you have asked Christ to come into your life, you can be sure that your relationship with God is secure. As a result of Christ’s death on the cross, the only sufficient provision for a relationship with God, you have been completely forgiven and accepted by Him.There are many exciting things that are true in your relationship with Christ. Understanding these truths will help you build a firm foundation on which to grow.

My Feelings About God Keep Changing

1. Feelings can be unreliable

You might have expectations about how you should feel after placing your trust in Christ. While feelings are important, they are unreliable indicators of your sincerity or the trustworthiness of God’s promise. Our feelings change easily, but God’s Word and His character remain constant. This illustration shows the relationship between fact (God and His Word), faith (our trust in God and His Word) and our feelings.

Fact – this chair is strong enough to support you.
Faith – You believe this chair will support you, so you sit in it.
Feeling- You may or may not feel comfortable in this chair, but it continues to support you.

The moment you received Christ by faith, as an act of your will, many things happened, including the following:

Christ came into your life – Revelation 3:20, Colossians 1:27
Your sins were forgiven – Colossians 1:14
You became a child of God – John 1:12
You received eternal life – John 5:24
Your great adventure for which God created you began – John 10:10, 2 Corinthians 5:17, 1 Thessalonians 5:18

2. Dealing with doubts

Even though feelings are important, your relationship with Christ is based on facts, not on feelings that can change daily. Doubts, questions and varying emotions are common parts of everyone’s life, but they are very unreliable gauges of anyone’s relationship with Christ. The Christian lives by faith in the trustworthiness of God and His Word.

But what if you don’t feel like a Christian tomorrow? Place your faith in the faithfulness of God Himself and the trustworthiness of His Word. The more you learn, the more you will be able to answer any doubts with solid facts. Your feelings will begin to respond to the truth of God’s Word and not to your circumstances.

Since you have trusted in Christ’s payment for your sin, understood the basis of your relationship with God and have learned five truths about your relationship, you can be confident in your relationship with Christ.

If you would like to talk through what you have learned, you can journey with a mentor and receive prayer.

This article is an adaptation by The Life Project of Dr. Bill Bright’s material on Knowing Jesus Personally. It was originally posted here.

Photo Credit: Ben White

Your Life Has Wonderfully Changed! How to Live for Jesus.

You are a new creation!

Once you become a Christian there is a shift within you. You are born-again! You accepted Jesus and His love and His great sacrifice for you and now you want to live for Jesus!

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

The Gift Of the Holy Spirit

When you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, the gift of Holy Spirit is given you. You now have God’s power living in you. The Holy Spirit helps you have faith and compassion. It convicts you of right and wrong and gives you the power to resist temptation and make choices to glorify God.

This doesn’t mean you are never tempted to do wrong or that you will never sin again. You can choose to ignore the power of the Holy Spirit in you. But as you continue to pray to God, spend time in His Word, and spend time with other Christians…as you turn your heart TOWARDS God, the more you will fully desire to serve and please God with your life.

As you do this, you will be filled with such joy and peace. Your heart will be overwhelmed by what God has done for you and you will desire to put off your old, bad, self-serving habits and start living for Jesus. You will understand that your old ways can’t fulfill you the way Jesus can.

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,^[^c^] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

As the Holy Spirit lives in you and you walk with God, you will receive the fruit of the Spirit. You will exhibit these traits:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22

How will becoming a Christian Make a Difference in your Life?

First – You can rest assured in God’s unconditional love.

You no longer need to prove yourself or feel unworthy. God loves you and He is FOR you! You find your identity in who God says you are.

“This I KNOW: God is for me.” Psalm 56:9

Second – You have unexplainable peace.

Even when things are tough in life (and they still might be) you believe that since God is for you, He is never going to abandoned you and he is working all things out for your good, even if you don’t understand it all. You trust God and know that HE IS GOOD.

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

Third – You belong.

You are a member of the family of God. You are welcome here. There is great joy in finding other Christians to be in community with.

“See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1

Fourth – Your future is secure!

You are going to heaven! Don’t be fooled…heaven and hell are real. And as a Christian you have the security that you are going to heaven to live with God eternally. And quite frankly, heaven’s going to rock!! What a great thing to look forward to!

Jesus said: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” John 14:1-3

So How Do You Please God with Your Life?

God has done so much for us. So how do we live in grateful response for all he has done? You live according to His word and you glorify God with all you say and do.

In the Bible you will find many instructions for living. God left us these instructions for a few reasons:

To protect us from ourselves.
To teach us how to love others.
To enlarge the Family of God.
To Bring glory to God.

Did you notice that, “To earn our salvation.” is NOT one of the reasons. We have been saved by grace. However, grace is not opposed to our EFFORT to live a life worthy of God’s gift, it is just opposed to EARNING the gift.

Following God’s Law

The 10 Commandments are found in the Bible and they are often called God’s Law.

The first four Commandments show us how to love God and the last 6 show us how to love others. Here they are:

You shall have no other gods before Me.
You shall not make idols.
You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Honor your father and your mother.
You shall not murder.
You shall not commit adultery.
You shall not steal.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
You shall not covet.

Some people think that God’s Laws are restrictive. They don’t want anyone telling them how to live. But God’s laws are actually an act of love…put in place protect us. Take commandment #7, for example, “Do not commit adultery.” God desires to preserve marriages and save us from the pain that cheating can cause. Or commandment #9 – which said another way says, “Do not lie.” God knows that lying hurts you and almost ALWAYS comes back to haunt the liar. You get the picture – God wants the best for you.

Jesus summarized the law like this:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37-39

In the Bible God also tells us to do the following:

Forgive each other
Care for the poor
Fight for justice
Be kind and compassionate
Take care of the widows and orphans
To tell others about Jesus
And so much more

Go out into this big beautiful world with joy in your heart and Love God and Love Others.

Up Next:

You Belong! How to Find a Church.

Photo Credit – Hunter Johnson

God Wants to Hear from you! How to Pray.

We have a wonderful direct line for talking to God. Prayer.

First John 5:14 says, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.”

The power of prayer comes from faith in a powerful God.

Some think prayer is a duty. Others think of it as a quick fix. And yet others consider it a last resort. The truth is that prayer is the way to talk with your Heavenly Father anytime and anywhere.

Think about your relationship with your best friend- you talk to them, listen to what they have to say and enjoy spending time together. In order to make that relationship grow and be healthy it takes communication. The same is true for your relationship with God. You need to talk to Him. Prayer will draw you closer to Him as you trust him with your heart.

When Should You Pray?

Jesus taught his followers to pray constantly. Jesus said: “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Luke 11:9-10).

Many people pray before a meal asking God to bless their food. Others pray before they fall asleep. These are good practices, but your prayer life can be so much more than “Bless this food.”

Prayer to God can be a conversation anytime…when you are driving, when you are walking, when you are working. You can cry out to God in your time of need and praise God when prayers are answered.

It is also good to set aside time each day to pray. A wonderful way to start your day is by reading the Bible and praying to God.

“Pray continually.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17

What should you pray for?

Many feel they have to pray recited or memorized words. This is fine, but your prayer life can be so much deeper. God wants to hear directly from you. Tell him what is on your heart. You can just talk to God as you would speak to a best friend.

The whole Bible is filled with encouragement to pray: “Pray when you are sick.” “Pray when you need help.” “Pray for peace.” “Pray to confess your sins.” Why are we told to pray so much? It is because God wants to answer our requests.

Sometimes when you don’t know what to pray, read the Psalms aloud to God.

“I have called upon you, for you will answer me, O God; Incline your ear to me, hear my speech.” Psalm 17:6

How to Pray

Jesus teaches us to pray in the Bible with the words of the Lord’s Prayer found in Matthew 6:9-13:

“This, then, is how you should pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.Give us today our daily bread.And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one.”

The Lord’s Prayer can be memorized and recited. It is a beautiful prayer. But Jesus was also teaching us what’s important in our own personal prayers. The Lord’s prayer demonstrates that prayer should:

Praise God for who He is. We honor God when we humbly come before Him and praise Him for His greatness. He deserves all our praise!
Ask God to meet our needs by sharing our requests with Him.
Confess our sins and ask for forgiveness.

It is important to include all of these things in our prayers. It shouldn’t simply be us telling God our wish list.

Will God Answer Every Prayer

Many people wonder, “Does this mean that we can ask for anything and God will give it to us exactly how we ask?”

The simple answer is no.

First – our prayers need to line up with God’s will. In the Bible it says, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” 1 John 5:14

But how do we know if what we are requesting, lines up with God’s will? The Bible teaches us about the character of God. For example, we know God desires life and love, peace and unity, provision for the sick and poor, and salvation for all. These are just a few of the MANY truths about the will of God.

However, if we are praying for selfish gain or with bad motives, chances are our prayers won’t line up with His will.

Prayers that go unanswered remind us that God is God. We do not control Him. His ways are higher than ours. And His answers are better for us than anything we asked for. – Greg Morse

And yet, sometimes even when we believe we are praying within God’s will, our prayers might not be answered the way we expect or think they should be answered. Sometimes it may seem like it is taking God too long to answer our prayers. It is important to remember that God always has our best interest in mind. His ways are always better than our ways. God might answer our prayers directly, and other times He may answer our prayers in a way we didn’t expect, or it may take years for us to see how God answered our prayers even when we weren’t aware.

Don’t Give Up

Even when it feels like God is not answering your prayers keep praying. Maybe you have an ongoing request such as:

Physical healing
Emotional restoration and healing
A Job
Recovery from addiction
A friend or loved one’s struggle
Finances

You glorify God by needing Him, by asking Him for help, and by counting on Him. – John Piper

If you’ve asked God for what you need and He hasn’t answered yet, don’t stop praying. It is important to keep praying because:

Praying about it will give you hope and with hope comes patience! “But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” Romans 8:25
Praying to God deepens your relationship with Him. “Come near to God and he will come near to you.” James 4:8
Praying about it helps you focus on God and not the issue!
God changes you through prayer!
God answers prayers!

“If you need wisdom, ask God and it will be given to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask God, be sure that your faith is in Him alone and that your sole desire for wisdom is to glorify Him. Do not give in to selfish intentions, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do” (James 1:5-8).

Have others pray for you

It is a great blessing to have others pray for us.

“Pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James 5:16

We can also learn a lot about prayer by reading and hearing the prayers of others. You can see how others approach God and lift prayers up to Him.

We have two WONDERFUL ways for you to have others pray for you.

The Prayer Show – This is a live show where people get together and pray for one another. It is hosted by our founder, Dawson McAllister, and his co-host Rachel Cardinal. Join them for live prayer on Facebook, YouTube, andPeriscope on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11:00 am CT and Wednesday and Sunday nights at 6:00 pm CT.
ThePrayerZone.com – is an interactive prayer website. Here you can post a request for prayer and Prayer Champions will type a prayer to God on your behalf. Check it out and sign up to request prayers.

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20

Up Next:

Your Life Has Wonderfully Changed! How to Live for Jesus.

Photo credit: Diana Simumpande

God Wants to Talk to You – Reading the Bible.

by Dawson McAllister

The Bible is the Living Word of God. This means that it is as relevant today as it was in the time it was written. The Bible is how God communicates to us, and if we don’t spend time reading it, we will miss out on so many important things that God wants us to know. If you have ever asked yourself how and why to read the Bible, the answers are below.

The Bible is the oldest historical book on record and yet it still speaks to our concerns and issues today and provides great insight, wisdom and truth for how to live our lives. It contains hope-filled promises from the one true God about how much He loves us and will take care of us if we call on Him. This is why it is the best-selling book of all time.

A Bible for Everyone

As you begin your new life with Jesus, you will want to hear from Him each day by reading His words written for us. If you don’t have a Bible, you can find one on-line or download the Bible App to your phone or tablet here: Apple or Google Play

The ap and website both contain many translations of The Bible and Bible reading plans to help you along!

Set Aside Time Each Day

The way to spend time with God is by reading and studying the Bible. Everything that was written in the Bible is there to teach us. Not only does it educate us, but it also offers us hope and encouragement as we patiently wait for God to fulfill His promises. As believers, the more we spend time with God in His word, the more we will grow in our faith and build our trust in Him. This works in much the same way as spending time with our friends. The more we put into our friend relationships by listening to them and talking with them the more we grow to know and trust them.

And the great thing about God? He will never leave you or fail you. His is the single most important relationship you can have so why not make sure it is as strong as it could be?

“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.” Romans 15:4

God’s Word Lights the Way

Here’s an analogy –

There are two paths you can chose in life. One path is really difficult. It’s surrounded in darkness, and it’s very rocky. If you choose this path, you will stumble along in life, tripping, squinting in the dark, and struggling the whole way.

The other path is difficult too. There are some really big inclines and declines, but the path is lit up for you. As you take one step at a time, there’s always light a few steps ahead. You can always see the path you’re walking on.

Maybe so far in life, you’ve been choosing the first path. You’ve been stumbling your way in the dark, squinting trying to see, and falling many times. You are making decisions on your own, thinking you can do it yourself and you’re struggling the whole time.

At any time, you can choose to move to the lighted path where your steps are guided by God. God lights your path through the truths in the Bible. These truths become a part of your life by reading, studying, memorizing, and meditating on scriptures. As you spend time in the Word, ask God to reveal Himself to you through the scriptures.

“Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” Psalms 119:105

Where to start reading in the Bible

If you have never read the Bible before, a good place to begin is the Book of John. In reading John you will find out exactly who Jesus is and what He came to earth to do. Additionally, the John is broken down into 21 short easy-to-read chapters. Why is this significant? Experts say it takes 21 days of doing something consistently to create a habit. So, if you read a chapter a day you are forming the habit of getting into God’s Word regularly.

Here is a reading plan that includes devotionals for the book of John. This comes from the Bible website and app mentioned above: Thru the Bible – The Gospel of John, 21-day Study.

Ask God to guide you as you read His Word. May He open your heart and mind to what He wants you to hear.

Up Next:

God Wants to Hear from you! How to Pray.

Photo credit Matt Botsford

You Belong! How to Find a Church.

by Dawson McAllister

You Belong in this Family!

The moment you are saved you are welcomed into the family of God. This promise is given in the Bible, “To all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12). This family is called the Church. It is important to know a few things about how to find a church in your community.

The Church is so much more than the four walls and roof of a building. The Church is every believer, young and old, all across the world who have called out to God and asked to be saved. In fact, the Church is a chosen people, God’s very own possession.

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God.” 1 Peter 2:9-10

So you belong to the broader idea of the church, but how do you go about finding a local church in your community? Here are some tips:

Finding a Local Church

So how do you get connected to this family? As a Christian, you are automatically part of God’s large family called the Universal Church. God also has a smaller family for you to be a part of called a local church. A local church is simply a group of believers in Jesus who have committed to support each other and follow Jesus together. God knows you need the guidance of a pastor, the care of other Christians, and the safety and support of a good church home to help you grow as a Christian.

We have talked about church being like a family. It is important to understand that no church is perfect, just like no family is perfect. In fact, it is best to think of the local church as a hospital. It is full of broken people who are forming a community of believers while finding hope and healing from the Lord. So, how do you find the right one?

These questions might help guide your search:

What Makes a Good Church?

1. Does the church believe that faith in Jesus is the only way to be saved?

Jesus himself tells us that He is the way, the truth and the life and that no one can come to the Father except through him (John 14:6). Jesus is the only way to be saved. Some churches teach that faith in Jesus is not enough, but rather that there are extra things that need to be done to be saved. This is not what God intended. We can never do enough, on our own to be saved. The salvation message presented should be that the only way to God is through believing in His son Jesus. Believing that he came to earth to die for the sins of mankind and that he also rose again after three days. Death, burial and resurrection. Salvation through grace by faith alone.

2. Does the church believe that the Bible is 100% true and teach from the entire Bible?

Some churches only believe that certain parts of the Bible are true. Others reject the Bible altogether in favor of the writings of their church founder. This is a red flag.

You will want to find a church that respects the Bible as God’s complete Word. Keep in mind that all scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. (2 Timothy 3:16). It is essential that, in addition to the message of salvation, the church teaches about how you are to grow in the Lord and applies the Bible to our daily life. Look at the information on the church’s website and see if they offer small group Bible studies. Also many church’s post the pastor’s sermons on their website. You may want to listen to a few.

3. Is the church active in the community?

Do they reach out to the community to be the hands and feet of Jesus and serve those in need? Does the church tell others about Jesus? If not, then it is not following one of Jesus’ direct commandments. Jesus tells us to go out into our communities and tell them about God. We should all want to share what God has done for us. It is important to find a church that does the same. “Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.’” (Matthew 28:18-20)

4. Does the church also have times of fellowship for its members?

Become part of a church that has ways for you to get involved for your own personal growth and encouragement. Do they offer Bible Studies, Sunday School or Small Groups? Are there opportunities to serve within the church?

5. What are the Foundational Beliefs of the Church?

Just as you would want your home to have a solid foundation to support the structure, a church also needs a solid foundation. Here are important foundational beliefs.

Belief in the Trinity. One God in three persons – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
1. God the Father – Creator of Heaven and Earth
2. God the Son – Jesus who paid the price for our sins
3. God the Holy Spirit – the counselor sent to live within us when we believe.
Baptism (infant or adult) is taught as representation of your salvation. Baptism does not add to your salvation, it does not save you. It is a showing to others that you have accepted Christ into your heart and life and that you want to follow him in your life from this day forward.
Communion or The Lord’s Supper is practiced. The Lord’s Supper is a reminder of Jesus’ sacrifice for our sins. Jesus told his disciples this during his last supper before he died:

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” Matthew 26:26-28

Ask God for Guidance

As you start your search for a church, ask God for guidance. God wants you to find church where you will grow in your faith, be encouraged by other Christians, and serve Him. As you pray to God for direction in this process, trust that He will direct you to exactly where He wants you to be.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

Photo credit John-Mark Smith

God Wants to Talk to You – Reading the Bible.

Life is Worth Fighting For

The Enemy is Fighting to Defeat You

Written by: Lama-Leah

If you were not on this earth, life for everyone else who is still here would never be the same. If you are struggling with knowing your true value, continue to read.

Last week I was at a coffee shop with the intention to write but I made a friend. They shared their wisdom about life with me. This person shared parts of their testimony. Despite having a HARD life, they choose to remain positive. I shared about the first time that Satan had a spirit of death and suicide over me.

How they responded to me is prevalent to anyone who has/is struggled with suicidal thoughts/actions. I was told,

The enemy did/does not want you here because he knows how special you are, what you have done and are going to do here on this earth for the glory of God.

That statement in itself has so much truth in it. If I had died the first time I desperately wanted to, I would not have been able to make the small mark on the world that I have made. I wouldn’t have the honor of helping those whom I have gotten the chance to help, and Lama Leah wouldn’t be what it has been becoming and my thoughts and wisdom would not have reached around the world. In my wildest dreams I never thought that my life would change for the better, but against my contrary belief, it did! I have been able to do some things and help some people that I would have never have thought was possible.

The Enemy is intimidated by those who are going to do great things for the kingdom! When he sees something great that comes from God his instincts are to destroy it and prevent it from doing its work. The most rewarding thing that you can do is overcome the devil through the blood of Christ.

When I personally choose to fight for life, my depression did not end nor was I always content with my decision. In the small moments of hope that’s when I knew that it was worth it. For me, it was giving a friend a hug who is hurting, snuggles with my dog, drinking peppermint tea, late nights focused on art projects, and writing a blog post that others enjoy or learn from. These are the small moments when even depression is at its peak and living seems unbearable, but life is worth fighting for.

In the small moments of hope that’s when I knew that it was worth it. #youmatter Click To Tweet

If you die from suicide you are taking the mark that you have put on the world and making it significantly lighter because if you continue to live the possibilities that you have to make your mark are endless. The world will absolutely never be the same without you because you bring something unique and individual to the world. If you are suicidal, I am truly begging you to give this life another chance. Life may not become better now but it can and will change eventually. God could be allowing you to go through this season as an opportunity to grow. Maybe God will use the season that you are in now and saving the wisdom that you gained from it for a different season. I promise you that choosing life will be worth it!

The world will absolutely never be the same without you! #youmatter #suicideprevention Click To Tweet

Two years ago, in the car, when my best friend was pleading for me to fight, she told me this, “You can’t commit suicide, think about how great the day when you are able to say ‘I made it through this hell and look where I am now.’ Things can only get better from here.” What she said was true. If you are suicidal from a bully in your life (any kind of bully, a physical person, depression, current life circumstances, the DEVIL, etc.), how will you be able to prove them wrong if you’re not alive to do so? From my experience, the rewarding part of various struggles in life is when you can overcome them.

Those who have the hardest life become the strongest people. If you are currently suicidal, please be encouraged. The battles that you are in are always worth fighting, even when it seems that you may not have victory, but remember it is impossible to achieve victory if you surrender. I promise you that life will change, and when it does, you will be grateful that you did not act on your plan. Think about the great day that it will be when you are able to see the beauty in your hardships. Suicide eliminates the chances of life becoming better because it stops your journey in this world.

Those who have the hardest life become the strongest people. #bestrong Click To Tweet

If you choose life let me tell you this, it will not be an easy battle to overcome but in the end it is worth every hardship and tear. Yeshua is here to walk with you, by your side, every step of the way. Everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, remember it simply isn’t the end. Also read these passages Psalms 57:8 and 1 John 5:4-5.

When you saw one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you,

Lama Leah

Lama Leah is blogger, supporter of the arts, social change, and God’s chosen people. Read more from her at her blog: Lama-Leah!

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

For information on what to do if you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.

Matt’s Story: Thank you Dawson

Almost 10 years ago, I had first heard Dawson McAllister on the radio when I was on tour throughout Tennessee. I was only 16 or 17 at the time, now I’m 27. I have 2 beautiful daughters and in a much happier place. Mostly because of the conversation I had with Dawson McAllister on the air while I was driving and it was late. I was considering just turning the wheel and going off the road and doing whatever I could to just end it. But after the talk we had, I changed my mind.

Just wanted to thank you, my friend, Dawson. Without God, and without you… I wouldn’t have my two beautiful girls to wake me up and drive me nuts every morning. And I wouldn’t change that for the world. Thank you.

Matt

One Word for the New Year

by Dawson McAllister

Finding Focus with One Word

Here we sit at the start of another New Year. 365 blank days staring us in the face waiting to be written. What story will those 365 days tell at the end of this year?

That is kind of a daunting question to ask yourself. And yet most people do ask it. It is why we write resolutions and set goals. We desire the year before us to tell a GOOD story.

I have written blogs on how to motivate yourself to keep your resolutions and tips for keeping your resolutions. I believe there is real value in setting goals for the year.

But today I want to talk about a different idea to consider as you start a new year. I’ve heard it referred to as One Word for the New Year or One-Word Resolutions. Essentially – you pick one word that encompasses how you want to approach the New Year.

It's one word that encompasses how you want to approach the New Year. #oneword Click To Tweet

For example, maybe your word for the year is Discipline. This is your focus for the year. You are saying that you want to approach your work, your relationships, your spiritual life, etc. with discipline. You are committing to giving a full-effort to areas of your life this year and not just giving a laid back, half effort to the important things in your life. You want to be disciplined and stay on task.

On the flip side, maybe your word for the year is Relax. Perhaps you have had a number of stressful years in a row and this is not the year for you to be disciplined, but a year for you to give yourself a break. Your focus is one of finding balance and learning to relax.

What ever your word – it is something personal that you select based on this point in your life. It gives you a focus on how you approach all aspects of your life for this one year. It helps you determine the kind of person you want to become. Rachel Olsen, co-author of “My One Word: Change Your Life With Just One Word” says,

A word can’t be broken. It serves as a reminder; a filter. It’s who you want to be instead of what you regret.

For me, I like the word Grace. It is a good reminder on how to approach everyone in my life…from my family and co-workers to the teens and young adults that call my radio show to strangers that I meet. I want to show everyone grace. We all have “stuff” in our lives and the more grace I can extend each person letting them know that I understand life isn’t easy and I’ll love them anyway…the less uptight I will be from holding everyone to such a high standard and hopefully those around me will be blessed as well.

Grace is my word. Grace is a good reminder on how to approach everyone in my life. #grace Click To Tweet

So how do you go about selecting your word for the year?

Begin by taking some time to decide what kind of person you want to be. Then identify the characteristics of that person, and write them down. You might have a lot of words on your list now. Now pick JUST ONE WORD. Resist the temptation to pick more than one. With just one word, you can view all situations that come up over the next year through your WORD.

Don’t pick your word quickly or randomly. Think it over for a while. Pray about it and ask God to give you clear direction on your word for the year and then ask Him to help you stay focused.

To help inspire you here are some words to get you thinking:

Joy ~ Serve ~ Contentment ~ Connect ~ Detach ~ Purpose ~ Listen ~ Pray ~ Integrity ~ Still ~ Breath ~ Persevere ~ Advance ~ Care ~ Aware ~ Release ~ Forgive ~ Dare ~ Bold ~ Focus ~ Gratitude ~ Forgiveness ~ Hope ~ Intentional ~ Authentic

I hope you will give this a try. It’s not necessarily easy to stay focused on your word for an entire year, but hopefully you will see small successes in becoming the person you want to be and that God wants you to be.

Picking a word and doing something, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction and that one step could lead to the next step.

Don’t get discouraged if you lose focus from time to time. Any change you make with your One Word in mind is significant.

What do you think? Do you thinking picking a word for the year might help motivate you? Do you have a word that you want to strive for this year? Please share your thoughts in the comments below. Maybe you will inspire someone else.

If you are facing challenges in your life, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook library, with eBooks on Dating, Self-Worth, Depression, and much more!

Death in the Family

We had a death in the family…my little sister Bailey passed away recently.

Can you relate to Katy’s story about a death in the family?

She was everything to me, we would play together and do whatever we could think of. When Bailey started complaining her stomach hurt, my mom brought her to Children’s Memorial Hospital. Bailey had a cancerous brain tumor and her appendix was taken out.

A year and a half later she passed away. I went back to public school and struggled becoming social and being happy. I was brought to TheHopeLine for guidance and support.

Morgan, who spoke with me listened to me for a hour and a half and helped me through.

I made a lot of new friends in the last couple of days! Bailey might not be with us today, but thanks to Morgan I know she is with me. I learned how to trust in the Lord and I know that Bailey isn’t suffering anymore and she’s having princess parties. Thank you TheHopeLine for believing in me and helping me become happy!

Katy

Get your free guide to help you understand and cope with the stages of grief:

The End of My Grieving Process

Have you lost someone you love? Does your heart ache with grief?

Jordan Zehr, blog writer for HeartSupport gives us his perspective on the grieving process.

No matter what, in life three things are certain: we will be born, we will live life, and then we will die. Unfortunately, sometimes death plays a role way too early in life and we are left to bear the marks of that. Yet sometimes, life simply extinguishes due to time being done on this earth and it’s time to go home.

Some of us have lost friends, family members, co-workers and acquaintances to death in one form or fashion. Some have gone early and some have gone after living life to it’s fullest. Some by accident, some self-caused, some due to life circumstances, and some by the fortune of a life fully lived.

And I too, have lost friends. When I was in kindergarten or first grade, my friend TJ got hit by a train as he was crossing the tracks back to his home. And the way I dealt with it at that tender young age was to jump into my mother’s arms and cry and cry when she told me. It’s strange because at the age of six, I knew I would never get to play with TJ again and had an understanding of what death was. I used to think TJ got it lucky, he never had to experience the pains of life and the cruelty of the world. And yet I realize how selfish this was of me, because TJ didn’t live many of the experiences we will all have. His family never got to experience the joys of watching him play sports, graduate from high school, have a family, and all the other wonderful blessings that life has to offer.

During my freshman year of college, I was at a keg party when I got a call from one of my friends that our mutual friend Brian had passed away. The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I was 19 years old, and on my first spring break fixing to have a blast…. and this happens. I don’t remember a ton from that week, except numbing the pain with a bottle of Jack Daniels and sitting at a friend’s farmhouse playing cards, each of us remembering Brian in our own way. This was my first real experience with death where I had to process what happened and I didn’t know what to do, so I got drunk. And sure, it numbed the pain, the hurt. Man, did it hurt. Death very much became a reality after that and I even lost a couple more friends in college, but none of those instances really prepared me for what it was like to lose someone that was family. Someone that had the same blood running through their veins as mine.

A year ago today, I lost someone that close to me for the first time in my life. I consider that a huge blessing, being 28 years old and having never lost a family member, but inevitably, death caught up to me and took my first grandparent.

I remember getting the call from my dad a few days earlier that my grandpa, Jay Dee, had gone to the hospital with jaundice and they were running tests, and that things looked optimistic but were serious. My dad kept me in the loop and passed along my well wishes to him. I knew there was a ton of family there, so I didn’t call him that day, because honestly I figured between having to deal with the entire family and being in the hospital he was exhausted and I didn’t want to be the guy to call and wake him up while resting and recovering.

It was the single dumbest decision that has haunted me for the past year.

I woke up the next day and got to work a few minutes early and decided to check Facebook. The first thing I see is a note from my aunt that says her father has died. Instinctively I rushed to call my father because I knew why he hadn’t called and my first thought was, “I have to check on my dad.” He told me how late it was, and I knew he was in the room as his father left this world, so it was something I have never held against him for not calling me that late in the night to tell me the news. I also knew how hard that phone call would have been, and bad news is something no one wants to deliver, so in a way, I’m thankful I found out the way I did rather than having to hear my dad say his father had passed away.

Perhaps the hardest thing for me has been the grieving process. It, honestly, was something I never did until a few weeks ago.

My dad had called to remind me to call my grandmother on my grandfather’s birthday and for the first time, it really sunk in he was gone. Even after a family Christmas where he wasn’t there, I never really took the time to grieve. I pushed it down. I didn’t know how to deal with it. For the past year, I’ve held onto nothing but regrets. Why didn’t I spend more time with him? Why didn’t I go out on the boat one last time? Why didn’t I call more often? Why didn’t I stay for dinner that one time? Why, why, why…all questions rooted in something to keep me from seeing the beauty and celebrating life.

I’m not going to lie, it does suck having those regrets, because they were things I could have done. But, no matter what, there’s always going to be something we could have done or wanted to do. We’re never going to escape the ways we think, and regret is part of that.

But what about the good? There seems to come a time, when we lose interest in the bad memories, and instead see the good. I’m a people pleaser and hate disappointment, and I realized I had lived in the disappointment for far too long, mostly because I thought I deserved it. For every phone call I didn’t make or dinner I didn’t stay for that barraged my thought process there were also golf outings, fishing together on the lake, great conversations, surprise visits to graduations, and so many great moments that outweighed the regrets that ultimately brought me so much peace.

I was talking to my mom the other day about all of this, and wanting to check on my dad as well during this time. We ended up sharing so many laughs that evening remembering the things grandpa did and so many smiles at the man he was and the things he instilled in all of his children and grandchildren. To work hard, to take care of others, to love God, to treat others better than ourselves, and that kindness is better than anger. We also both remarked how crazy it seems that he’s been gone a year, when it feels like he’s barely been gone a day. I honestly see that as something so beautiful, that while my grandpa has been gone for a year, it feels more like I’m just on a delay until I see him again. There’s more beauty in that view of death than taking the long road of regret.

We have so many choices when dealing with grief. We all deal with it differently too. My hope and prayer for anybody reading this is that we cling to the goodness that was life and fondly remember the great times.

No matter what way death decided to take someone, there is always beauty left from life. #grief Click To Tweet

So this is for anyone dealing with grief and for everyone that will deal with grief upon losing someone we love. Do not live in the regret, but instead, see the beauty of times you have spent with that person and cling hard to those. They can literally be the difference in a years worth of pain or a years worth of happiness. We aren’t meant to live unhappy, and it’s ok to deal with the sadness of death. It sucks and it hurts. But no matter what, you’ve got to see the beauty in life, no matter how it was lost. I’ve lost friends to suicide, car wrecks, and cancer. None of those are pretty, but their lives were all beautiful and for that I remember that they brought greatness, if only for a brief moment, in a world that can be full of ugliness. I choose to remember TJ and his smile, Christian and his goofiness and love, Brian and his unshakable faith and leading me to Jesus, Justin and his love for wanting to tell people about the real love of Jesus, Jack, Kelli, Ted, Erin, and many others that for a blip on my life’s radar, brought me beauty, joy, laughter, and strength, all things I can choose to cling to when I remember them.

Don't live in regret, instead - cling to the beauty of the times you had. #noregrets Click To Tweet

This is the end of my grieving process. I choose to remember my grandpa as a man who loved my grandmother to his last day, who impacted countless lives through coaching and teaching, and who instilled a love and reverence for God in his children and grandchildren. I’ll never be able to watch a basketball game without seeing some player with his elbow out and hear the words of my grandpa telling me “Get your elbow in”. I’ll never go on a lake or play a game of golf without having fond memories of him and the goodness he brought into my life and those of everyone he impacted.

I know I’ll see you again Grandpa, but until that time comes, thanks for all you did for me and for helping form the man I am today. I’ll always remember the great times and the love you so selflessly gave to me, no matter what. I’ll never forget you. I miss you. I love you.

Do you have good memories of the times you spent with the people you loved and then lost? Share them with TheHopeLine in the comments below!

Guest blog is written by Jordan Zehr. He is part of HeartSupport‘s blog team! Jordan Zehr’s first love is God and then his family and friends. He graduated from Oklahoma State University in 2009 and is a self proclaimed fanatic. He enjoys writing, music, and anything to do with baseball.

Get your free guide to help you understand and cope with the stages of grief:

How to Understand Someone in Grief

by Dawson McAllister

Do You Know Someone Struggling With Grief?

GRIEF. It is one of those emotions that we wish we could avoid, but we will all, undoubtedly, experience grief at some point in our life.

Since the experience of loss and grief is universal and will impact most everyone during their lifetime, I wanted to write about it today. I want to encourage anyone who is grieving that whatever you are feeling after a loss is O.K., you are not alone and you will get through this.

If you have lost someone, I am so sorry for your loss. Allow yourself to let your emotions go. Please don’t bottle them up. I have heard it said like this, “It is not the grief you want to avoid, it is the pain. Grief is the way out of the pain.” These gut-wrenching, sometimes suffocating feelings you may be facing are signs that a deep connection has been severed. It is going to be painful. But the grieving is necessary.

It is not the grief you want to avoid, it is the pain. Grief is the way out of the pain. #grief Click To Tweet

Taylor called my radio show a couple years after her mom died. She is dealing with many mixed emotions because she didn’t actually know her mom that well, but she still misses her. Taylor shares how some days she stays in bed and cries all day, but she knows she can’t let her grief control her life.

Perhaps you have read about the 5 stages of grief before, but I want to share them with you again. Each stage is important as they allow the human emotional immune system to resolve the loss. However, the stages of grief aren’t always clear cut and there is no set time limit for each step. They simply act as a framework for healing. Do you find yourself in one of these stages?

Stage One: Denial, Numbness, and Shock

The initial shock serves to protect the person from experiencing the intensity of the loss. Numbness and shock are normal in this stage and shouldn’t be confused with “lack of caring”.
Denial or numbness can last anywhere from a minute to months, depending on the individual. As the person slowly begins to acknowledge the impact of the loss, disbelief will diminish.

Stage Two: Anger

Anger is a necessary part of the grieving process. In this stage, one may feel helpless, abandoned or powerless as a result of the loss.
Feelings of anger can act as a temporary structure to frame the loss and begin processing it. A grieving individual may also be angry at God, the person lost or in life in general.

Stage Three: Bargaining

The bargaining stage often involves persistent thoughts about what could’ve been done to prevent the loss or ways there could have been a different outcome.
If not properly resolved, the intense feelings of remorse or guilt may interfere with the healing process.

Stage Four: Depression

Depression sets in after the true extent of the loss becomes reality. Feelings of loneliness, emptiness, isolation and self-pity often accompany this stage of grief. After a major loss, those dealing with depression tend to withdraw from life and be in a fog of intense sadness.
Common physical symptoms of grief or depression may appear, including sleep or appetite disruption, a lack of energy and concentration, and crying spells.

Stage Five: Acceptance

Over time, the grieving person may be able to come to terms with their emotions and accept that the loss has occurred. Healing can begin once the loss becomes integrated into the person’s set of life experiences.
This stage is where one accepts that life is forever changed and must readjust to the new reality. This doesn’t mean forgetting the loss but rather rebuilding and beginning to reinvest in hobbies, friendships, new connections, etc.

It is important to know that enjoying life again does not mean that you no longer miss the person you lost. You are not somehow betraying them by moving on. Your grief has simply run its course.

However, it is also not wrong to keep their memory alive with a special object or planned occasion. Sometimes externalizing your loss in such a way can aid with your healing, especially during the holidays, when the hole left by the person you lost is felt more acutely again. Here are some ideas of what you could do:

Light a candle for your loved one.
A prayer before the Holiday dinner, about your loved one.
Share a favorite story about your loved one.
Have everyone tell a funny story about your loved one.

Perhaps as you are reading this blog you are thinking of a friend who has experienced great loss and you are not sure how to help them. You may even be avoiding the situation because you are afraid it will be awkward or that you will say the wrong thing. Let me assure you that the most important thing you can do is to just be there for them. There are no magic words to say to take away their pain. Your presence is enough. In an effort to make you more comfortable in these situations here are two lists…one is of things that are helpful to say, the other is of things to avoid saying.

The best things to say to someone in grief and what to avoid saying. #grief #holidays Click To Tweet

The Best Things to Say to Someone in Grief:

1. I am so sorry for your loss.
2. I wish I had the right words, just know I care.
3. I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in anyway I can.
4. You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers.
5. My favorite memory of your loved one is…
6. I am always just a phone call away
7. Give a hug instead of saying something
8. We all need help at times like this, I am here for you
9. I am usually up early or late, if you need anything
10. Say nothing, just be with the person

What to avoid saying to Someone in Grief:

1. At least she lived a long life, many people die young
2. He is in a better place
3. She brought this on herself
4. There is a reason for everything
5. Aren’t you over him yet, he has been dead for awhile now
6. You can have another child still
7. She was such a good person God wanted her to be with him
8. I know how you feel
9. She did what she came here to do and it was her time to go
10. Be strong
(Source: www.Grief.com)

Wyatt called into Dawson McAllister Live! seeking advice for how to help his best friend. A year has passed since his friend’s mom died and Wyatt has stood by his side, but now his friend is starting to act out. I let Wyatt know that after a year of “being there” for his friend, he has earned the right to speak the truth to him.

As you walk this journey through grief know that God is near. Even if you are confused and feel alone, God will never abandon you. He says in the Bible “I will never leave you or forsake you.” He also tells us to “Cast all our cares on him.” Keep praying and ask others to pray for you as well and God will give you a peace that passes understanding.

You can also request prayer here at ThePrayerZone.

God Bless!

Get your free guide to help you understand and cope with the stages of grief:

The Beauty in Pain

Do You Believe There Can Be Beauty In Pain

Guest blogger, Lama-Leah, shares her own story of how she found beauty in pain.

There is Beauty in the Utter Brokenness, Sorrow, and Pain of Life

The choices that we make every day don’t (always) solely affect us individually. They can affect our friends, children, spouses, the planet, and sometimes strangers who live across town or strangers across the world. Newton’s third law states that for every action there is an equal or opposite reaction and this can apply to many aspects of life. Some of these reactions can be positive; while some have negative consequences.

In life we all experience joys and sorrows. Some are fortunate to have few sorrows (at least from the outside), while others are not as blessed. Some are born into one parent, one small paycheck, households where abuse lingers in the walls. Children grow up and make their own choices and write their own stories and testimonies. They live life from a new perspective because for the first time the lifestyle that they choose is in their hands. I’m not referring to social class but I’m referring to the fact that they can choose a lifestyle of love or hate. Their own children will either grow up being cared for in every way, or they become victims.

When considering religion the question is often asked, “How can I believe in a God who let’s horrible events happen?” I have asked myself this question in the midst of the storm when God seems to be so far away. I have walked through my fair share of storms. I have pondered the lie, “How can anything good happen through my brokenness? I think that God turned His head away the times I was a victim.”

God has been teaching me about this lie that I believed for years. Yes, I was a follower of Christ but I did not understand and am still learning just how God works and there is beauty in the utter brokenness, sorrow, and pain of life. The first time I had a glimpse about how my brokenness has beauty in it was about two years ago. I was with my best friend at a church gathering and one of our other friends came in and she was hysterical. About anything bad that could’ve happened to a 16 year old girl had and her day was miserable; it was one of those days that had pushed her over the edge. She had expressed to us that she was suicidal. All three of us went into the bathroom to talk things out. As we talked, I learned that this girl and I had similarities in our stories and I did the best I possibly could to encourage her that things could and will become better. I’m not sure how much my words would have meant to her if I hadn’t walked through storms. That night, I started to see a small bit of beauty through my pain. Yet I have had a hard time believing that God was with me through every season and that He has never turned His face on war, poverty, world hunger, sexual assault, and abuse.

Beauty in pain can be as simple as having empathy towards others. #beautyinpain Click To Tweet

I’ve been learning that beauty in the pain can be as simple as being able to have empathy towards others who have been in the same situation as you. In my own walk, the times that I’ve had the most emotional healing was not when I was sitting in a therapist office (I’m not saying that therapy isn’t important because it is) or sitting in church. God has done the most healing when I’m doing something as simple as having coffee with a fellow Christian and they are sharing their own story of walking in the storm. I have a connection of pain with them when they share about life after the storm.

It’s the priceless feeling of knowing, “I’m not alone.”

Yes, we have Jesus but sometimes we need a friend here on earth to share our journey with. Having the honor to be a friend guiding and loving on the one who is still walking in the exact same rainstorm that you were once in is beautiful. THAT is when I know that God had never left me. I am beyond grateful for those He has given me to hold my hand while I’ve been in and out of the storms we have all walked through.

Newton’s third law states that for every action there’s an equal or opposite reaction. As we walk this life and deal with more storms than sunny days, how are you going to react? When others hurt you, you have the choice to do the same to someone else. Or you can use that exact pain that you have to empower you to help someone who has gone through the same or similar experience. THIS is how you can find the beauty in pain.

What situation have you been able to find beauty in the pain? How have you been able to help others through what you have experienced?

With love, LAMA-LEAH

Lama Leah is a blogger, supporter of the arts, social change, and God’s chosen people. Read more from her at her blog: Lama-Leah!

If you have been through some struggles and were able to find beauty in the pain, you can share your story to help and encourage others who might be struggling. SHARE YOUR STORY!

Why do Bad Things Happen?

This Guest Post comes from Everystudent.com, a safe place to explore questions about life and God. We thank them for allowing us to share their response to the very hard question everyone has asked at some point in their life…”Why does God allow bad things to happen?”

How do we explain what we see in this world?

Terrorist attacks, sex slavery, racism, world hunger?

Subconsciously, we probably ask ourselves questions like these quite often. But consciously we rarely do. We’re so busy living our lives we rarely stop and wonder WHY?

But then something happens to wake us up. Our parents get divorced. The girl down the street gets abducted. A relative gets cancer. That wakes us up for awhile. But then we can often sink back into the denial. That is, until another tragedy hits, another incongruence. Then we’re likely to think, Something isn’t right here. Something is really, really wrong. This isn’t how life’s supposed to be!

So, WHY do bad things happen?

Why isn’t this world a better place?

There is an answer to the WHY question, found in the Bible. But it’s not an answer that most people like to hear: the world is the way it is because it’s the world that we, in a sense, have asked for.

Sound strange?

What or who could make this world different than the way it is? What or who could guarantee that life is pain-free, for everyone, all the time?

God could. God could accomplish that. But he doesn’t. At least not right now. And we’re angry with him as a result. We say, “God can’t be all-powerful and all-loving. If he were, this world wouldn’t be the way it is!”

We say this hoping that God will then change his position on the matter. Our hope is that putting a guilt trip on him will make him change the way he’s doing things.

But he doesn’t seem to budge. WHY doesn’t he?

God doesn’t budge — he doesn’t change things right now — because he’s giving us what we asked for: a world where we get to treat him as though he is absent and unnecessary.

Remember the story of Adam and Eve? They ate the “forbidden fruit.” That fruit was the idea that they could ignore what God said or gave them, and strike out on life apart from God. For Adam and Eve sort of hoped that they could become like God, without God.

They consumed the notion that there was something more valuable in existence than God himself, something more valuable than having a personal relationship with God. And this world system — with all of its faults — came as a result of the choice they made.

Their story is the story of all of us, isn’t it? Who hasn’t said — if not audibly at least in their hearts — God, I think I can do this without you. I’ll just go this one alone. But thanks for the offer.

We’ve all tried to make life work without God.

Why do we do that? Probably because we’ve all bought the notion that there’s something more valuable, more important, than God. For different people it’s different things, but the mindset is the same: God isn’t what’s most important in life. In fact, I’d just as soon do it without him altogether.

What is God’s response to that?

He allows it. Many people experience the painful results of others’ or their own choices that run contrary to God’s ways…murder, sexual abuse, greed, lying/fraud, slander, adultery, kidnapping, etc.

All of these can be explained by people who have refused to give God access and influence over their lives. They are going about their lives as they see fit, and they and others suffer.

What’s God view on all of this?

He’s not smug. In fact, God could rightly be viewed as leaning forward, compassionate, hoping we will turn to him so that he can bring real life to us.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”¹ But not all are willing to go to him. Jesus commented on this when he said: “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.”²

Again, Jesus brings the issue back to our relationship with him. “I am the light of the world. He who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”³

But what about when life is unfair, when bad things happen to us?

What about those horrible circumstances that hit us in life, caused by someone other than ourselves? When we are feeling victimized, it’s useful to realize that God himself endured horrendous treatment from others. God more than understands what you are going through.

There is nothing in life that could be more painful than what Jesus endured on our behalf, when he was deserted by his friends, ridiculed by those who would not believe in him, beaten and tortured before his crucifixion, then nailed to a cross, in shameful public display, dying of slow suffocation.

What To Do When We’re Mad At God

He created us, yet allowed humanity the freedom to do this, to fulfill Scripture and to set us free from our sin. This was no surprise to Jesus. He was aware of what was coming, foreknowing all the details, all the pain, all the humiliation.

“And as Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took the twelve disciples aside, and on the way he said to them, ‘Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of man will be delivered to the chief priests and scribes, and they will condemn him to death, and deliver him to the Gentiles to be mocked and scourged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day.”⁴

Imagine knowing something that awful was going to happen to you. Jesus understands emotional and psychological anguish. The night that Jesus knew they would arrest him, he went to pray, but took some friends with him.

“And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, ‘My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here and watch [keep awake] with me. And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will but as thou wills.”⁵

Though Jesus confided in his three friends, they didn’t understand the depth of his torment, and when Jesus returned from prayer he found them asleep. Jesus understands what it’s like going through pain and extreme sadness alone.

Here it is summarized, as John describes in his gospel: “He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world knew him not. He came to his own home, and his own people received him not. But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God.”⁶ “For God sent the Son into the world, not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”⁷

There is no question that there is pain and intense suffering in this world.

Some of it is explained by selfish, hateful actions on the part of others. Some of it defies an explanation in this life. But God offers us himself. God gives us the knowledge that he has endured also, and is aware of our pain and needs. Jesus said to his disciples, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”⁸

There is ample reason to be afraid, troubled, but God can give us his peace, which is greater than the problem before us. He is after all, God, the Creator. The one who has always existed. The one who created a universe on the backstroke.

‘Out of the Dark’: Mandisa chats with TheHopeLine!

Yet even in his power, he’s also the one who knows us intimately, even the smallest, insignificant details. And if we will trust him with our lives, relying on him, though we encounter difficulties, he will hold us securely.

Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”⁹ He went through our ultimate threat — death — and overcame it. He can take us through the difficult circumstances of this life, and then bring us into eternal life, if we will trust him.

We can either go through this life with God or without him.

Jesus prayed, “O righteous Father, although the world has not known you, yet I have known you; and these have known that you sent me; and I have made your name known to them, and will make it known, so that the love with which you loved me may be in them, and I in them.”¹⁰

You might find yourself asking, “Why is life so hard?” Without God, humanity is easily drawn into hatred, racism, sexual abuse, murdering each other.

Jesus said, “I came that you might have life, and have it more abundantly.”

This post was originally published here. If you have further questions about God? Please see www.everystudent.com If you have asked God into your heart please visit www.startingwithgod.com

Did this post get you thinking? Did it raise new thoughts or questions? We welcome your comments below.

If you are wondering what a relationship with God is all about, you may also enjoy this free eBook.

Photo credit Andrew Le

What Is Forgiveness?

by Dawson McAllister

Let’s talk about one of the most important keys to your happiness. It is a subject people talk about, but few understand or practice. Let’s talk about forgiving others who have hurt you.

There’s probably not a person in the world who does not need to forgive someone. Additionally, there is probably not one person who would ever say that forgiveness is easy. Forgiving others goes against our own common sense. There’s an old saying: Don’t get mad, get even.Yet forgiveness says, Don’t get mad, forgive.

To add to the challenge of forgiving, is the fact that most people do not understand what real forgiveness is and how to do it. Forgiveness is giving up your rights to get even.

I recently talked to a girl who was abused by her step-mother for five years. Her father stood by and basically did nothing while this step-mother did terribly cruel things to this 16-year-old girl. She told me she felt scarred for life and could never forgive what her step-mother and father had done to her. How sad that for the rest of her life she will let herself be stuck in constant bitterness, fear, shame and hate. I told her that learning to forgive those who hurt you will be one of the most difficult things you will ever do. But if you want to be happy, you must learn the art of forgiving.Every meaningful relationship you have will require some level of forgiveness at one point or another.

What is forgiveness?

According to the American Psychological Association: Forgiveness is the mental and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

I love what author Lewis B. Smedes said about forgiveness: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” There is no way to get away from our past and its effects on us. We can learn from it, but we can’t escape from it. We may forget it, but we can’t erase it. The only thing that can release us from the insane grip of a painful past is forgiveness. In fact, not to forgive is like drinking rat poison and expecting the rat to die. Forgiveness sets others free, but mostly, frees us.

FORGIVENESS IS:

Giving up your rights to get even. Brittany described it well: “To me forgiving somebody is to put something in the past and forget about it no matter what it is. For example, when I was 8 up until I was about 10 or 11 my dad totally ignored me when my mom and him got divorced because he married another woman. At that age I didn’t understand it but when I was older he divorced her. When my mom took me to meet him, to let him see how bad he was hurting me, he asked me to forgive him. So I did and I won’t hold it against him now because we all wanted to forget about it. Now I see him whenever I want to, no questions asked. I could have easily not forgiven him and never seen him again. But that’s forgiveness and everybody deserves a second chance.”
Choosing to stop feeling anger and resentment. Forgiveness is a choice to let go of bitterness while also letting out the hurt in a positive way. When we are hurt by someone, some awful feelings can come over us at a moments notice.Out of the blue sky we feel deep resentment, hurt, anger, and even bitterness and rage toward the other person. Forgiveness says, I refuse to babysit those horrible emotions. I understand they are toxic and can only hurt me. So I will not sit and sulk. I will pray out, talk out, write out, and cry out these emotions until they no longer control me.
Letting all judgments toward the person who has hurt you be handled by God. Forgiveness also means to let all judgments toward the person who has hurt you be handled by God. No one gets away with violating and deeply hurting others without some kind of consequence. But it’s not up to you to determine what that consequence should be. This much we do know: whoever has hurt you, has paid, is paying, and will pay, for their crime against you. Forgiveness is choosing to stop feeling anger and resentment to the person who hurt you, but letting out your hurt in a positive way.
Getting to the place where you can say, “I wish for you a blessing.” I want to encourage you to do what CJ did: “I grew up without my parents and was raised by my grandparents in a Christian environment. I had to forgive my parents for abandonment. I had to forgive their ignorance. I had to forgive all they had done to my family. I believe forgiveness is the most powerful thing if you need to mend a broken relationship. You forgive that person although they destroyed you, manipulated you or someone you love. That’s what Jesus did and I wish everyone else did too. The world would be so much better.”Fortunately she says she was able to forgive her parents, but that probably will never take away the memories that were caused by their neglect. Miraculously, a person can actually get to the place where they can say to the person who has hurt them, “I wish you a blessing.”Which means, I hope all will go well with you and you will have a great life. It is only when we get to this point that we are truly practicing forgiveness.

It is normal and right to feel anger toward someone who has hurt you. But hanging onto the hurt, and choosing not to forgive the other person is only setting yourself up for a life of pain and difficulty. You have a choice. Please do not give up in your journey to forgive those who have hurt you. The consequences of not forgiving far outweigh the work it takes to give up your rights to get even.