Question 1

What Are Red Flags to Look for When Dating Online?

Accepted Answer

Online dating is unique in what makes it fun. But it has its own red flags to be aware of. Protect your emotional safety and mental health. If someone online:
-Asks for Money
-Immediately Says “I Love You” or Overwhelms with Flattery and Promises
-Refuses to Send Pictures 
-Warns You About Their Personality
-Pressures You to Have Sex or Send Explicit Pics or Messages
-Gets Angry When You Don’t Respond/Say No
Stop engaging with that person to protect your well-being.

Question 2

Can You Get PTSD From an Abusive Relationship?

Accepted Answer

Before you leave an abusive relationship, remember:
Have a safety plan in place that includes people you trust and places where you’re protected. 
It may not feel safe to confront or discuss things with your partner directly, and that’s okay. 
Taking steps to distance yourself first is critical to staying safe. 
Following through with your plans will feel very difficult, but leaving a toxic relationship and finding healing is possible. 
If you’re having PTSD symptoms while planning to leave or after leaving,  help is available.

Question 3

What is C-PTSD, and Do I Have It?

Accepted Answer

C-PTSD shares a lot of symptoms with PTSD. For instance, both can cause flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, and hypervigilance, but C-PTSD brings a few other fun challenges into the mix. Because of the long term, frequent occurrences of trauma that can develop C-PTSD, a patient may often have an extremely negative worldview and self-view, struggle to engage in healthy relationships, engage in self-destructive behaviors, and experience derealization or depersonalization in order to detach from feeling or remembering the pain they’ve experienced.

Question 4

What Can I Do if My Mom&#8217;s Boyfriend Makes Me Uncomfortable?

Accepted Answer

Talk to Your Parents: Ask for some time with them, and express your thoughts and feelings. Get Support: Talk to a trusted adult like an aunt, grandparent, teacher, counselor or family friend. Set Boundaries: Ask for what you need to feel cared for and supported. If something harmful is going on, you don’t have to stay in the room or the conversation. Create New Traditions: Maybe there’s something fun you could do together to help you feel better.

Question 5

Am I a Bad Person if I Don’t Stick Up for People Who Are Different Than Me?

Accepted Answer

If you see someone using their power to harm someone else physically or emotionally:
Decide if you have the tools to rectify the situation without putting yourself in harm’s way. 
Speak comfort to the person being bullied. 
Offer a listening ear or a hug. 
Tell someone in authority about the abuse of power. 
The only way we’re going to defeat a problem this pervasive is by supporting one another.

Question 6

One Yes, Two Yes, Three Yes, No

Accepted Answer

No matter how many times you’ve said “yes” to sex, touching, or physical intimacy in the past, you have the absolute right to say “no” next time. Whether you say “yes” or “no” is up to you, and in a healthy relationship, consent will always be a priority. 

You have the right to say “yes” or “no” according to your feelings, and so does your partner. Practice honest communication with your partner so that you are both aware of each other’s actual desires.

Question 7

Sexual Assault: A Rape Survivor&#8217;s Story

Accepted Answer

It is normal to feel many things after being raped, but there is hope. With emotional support, and appropriate medical and psychological treatment, people recovering from sexual assault can regain feelings of joy and can lead happy and healthy lives. It is possible to take your life back and you can walk in truth and freedom to fulfill your dreams and destiny." Read Sarah's story of survival and healing.

Question 8

How Does Childhood Bullying Play a Role in Future Relationships?

Accepted Answer

Childhood is the time when our perceptions of people, and the responses our brain and body have in various situations, are being formed. If you were bullied as a child, you probably respond to people in your life today in ways that were shaped by that experience. 

The good news is, when we understand how our relationships are shaped by painful experiences, we can make the choice to think and act differently. Here are some of the challenges you may have, and some suggestions for how you can shift your mindset.

Question 9

Why Life Is Not Fair

Accepted Answer

Life is not fair. Here are 3 reasons why with advice on how to deal with it.
#1: Life is outside of your control
#2: Life rewards performance, not desire.
#3: Life allows multiple points of view.
Here is advice on how to cope with it.

Question 10

Is Your Partner a Narcissist?

Accepted Answer

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a legitimate mental health issue that requires diagnosis and treatment. It’s a curse, if you want to stick with the mythology theme, to be rendered incapable of fixating on anything other than yourself. “Pathological self-absorption” has been a subject of study since the late 1800’s, but it’s actually pretty rare. Only about 1% of the population suffers from the condition.

Question 11

How Do I Know if I Love a Narcissist?

Accepted Answer

Having a relationship with a narcissist is not impossible, but because it is so difficult, you will likely feel healthier distancing yourself from narcissistic people. Knowing the signs of narcissism and understanding its impact in relationships might keep you from getting trapped in a toxic relationship. If you are trying to understand whether or not you love a narcissist, pay attention to how the relationship makes you feel, and to their patterns of behavior. Here are some things to look for if you are wondering whether the person you love is a narcissist.

Question 12

How Can I Ever Love Someone After I’ve Been Raised by a Narcissist?

Accepted Answer

"Here are some steps I've counseled people to take to help them learn to love and trust others after growing up around narcissistic abuse.

1. Understand Your Triggers
2. Distinguish the New Person in Your Life from the Narcissist
3. Give Yourself Time
4. Ask for What You Need
5. Learn to Love Yourself
6. Get Extra Support"

Question 13

How to Convince My Emotionally Abusive Spouse to Seek Help

Accepted Answer

There is no one right answer to how to stop toxic behavior in a marriage. Some marriages will have more potential for growth and change than others. But the degree to which we can help someone depends on a few important things: How safe we feel helping them, Whether or not we are caring for our own needs, Whether or not they want to seek help.

Question 14

How to Have Good Relationships After Childhood Abandonment

Accepted Answer

"You can build strong relationships, even after childhood abandonment hurt you: 

- Recognize How Abandonment Impacts Relationships - Learn how to cope and heal.
- Remind Yourself: These Relationships Are Different - Realize new people have different strengths in a friendship or relationship. They are not the person who abandoned you.
- Get Help Building New Relationships - Talking to a mentor or counselor can help.

You don't have to deal with abandonment issues alone."

Question 15

Suffering from Emotional Abuse: Know the Signs

Accepted Answer

Signs of Emotional Abuse:
- Isolation: The person may make you feel like you are the center of their world. This makes it easier to isolate you from friends and family. 
- Control: Control is a hallmark of every type of abuse.
- Cruelty: An emotionally abusive person has deliberate patterns of cruelty. 
- Denial: People don't want to believe that someone they care about is deliberately hurting them, so they often try to convince themselves it’s not so bad.

Question 16

How to Respond to Hate With Love

Accepted Answer

Responding to hate with love keeps things from festering in your mind and heart. Here's how to practice that:

1. Understand Why Love Is Important
2. Follow the Example of Radically Loving People
3. Remember: Love Isn't a Feeling
4. Practice the Golden Rule
5. Give Yourself Time
6. Get Support from People Who Understand

It's a daily decision you have to make, but it definitely makes a difference.

Question 17

Cyberbullying: Are You Bullying Others Online?

Accepted Answer

It's easy to say things online that you normally wouldn't say in person. You have a choice to make your words bring hurt or hope. If you aren't sure if you are the bully, watch this video.

Question 18

What to do if you are being bullied

Accepted Answer

If you are being bullied, you're not alone, and you don't have to be trapped by bullies' poor choices. Bullying is not your fault, and people you trust can help you stop bullying and find a greater sense of safety. If you need extra support, talk to a HopeCoach about bullying today.

Question 19

Bible Verses About God Accepting Everyone

Accepted Answer

“I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” (Luke 5:32) Have you ever thought, "God could never love me. I've messed up too bad. My sins are too big. I am too ashamed. I am too broken." But God says throughout the Bible that He welcomes everyone who comes to Him. The Bible is full of verses that talk about God accepting everyone.

Question 20

Is it Ever a Good Idea to Get Back with Your Ex?

Accepted Answer

"Whether exes get back together depends on a lot of factors:

- How Much Time Has Passed?
- How Have Things Changed? (Or Have Things Changed at All?)
- Why Did the Breakup Happen in the First Place?

Being honest about relationship failures helps you get clear on whether reconnecting with your ex would be healthy, wise, or possible."

Question 21

Facing Abuse: Can an Abuser Ever Really Change?

Accepted Answer

An abusive person who is engaged in their recovery has accepted that the process may take years, or even decades, before non-abusive patterns become their habit. Their change is not your responsibility, it is not within your control, and it will be very frustrating or upsetting to watch someone struggle to change unless you maintain distance from them and define strong boundaries in your relationship.

Question 22

Can You Save Your Relationship After Cheating?

Accepted Answer

"Whether a relationship can be saved after cheating is complicated, and depends on the answers to questions like:

- What happened?
- Were you safe with your partner?
- How long has it been?
- Have you sought advice?

It's important not to rush back into a relationship after cheating has happened. especially if there's any risk that the relationship is only a cycle of cheating and abuse."

Question 23

This May Be Why You Bully Others (Here’s What to Do)

Accepted Answer

Bullies often engage in abusive behavior for the same reasons others do: they feel a need to control and dominate someone. That unhealthy need may come from a variety of places, including their own unmet emotional and spiritual needs. Many people who experienced abuse in their own lives have later become stuck in toxic mindsets and behavior patterns that became bullying. If you have bullied others, it doesn’t have to control your life. You can build healthier relationships and learn how to communicate your feelings and needs.

Question 24

Don&#8217;t Lose Hope In Tough Times. There Is More.

Accepted Answer

When you're losing hope, it's not always helpful to have someone tell you what to do or explain where you went wrong. You need someone to listen, to be there for you, and to remind you that you were created for a purpose. I rediscovered my sense of hope in a dark time by talking with a HopeCoach.

Question 25

Toxic Relationships: What Is Gaslighting?

Accepted Answer

Emotional abuse occurs when someone uses emotions to control or hurt you. Some of the most common “tools” used by emotionally abusive people are manipulation, shaming, and deceit. If you’re with someone who constantly twists your words to make everything seem like your fault, or who shames you or speaks cruelly to you, it’s time to get help.  "Gas-lighting" is a term that describes an emotionally abusive relationship. If you are questioning your situation, learn more about the warning signs.  Please know: emotional abuse is never your fault, and you can break free!

Question 26

Abusive Relationships: Will I Ever Be Back to Normal After Leaving Abuse?

Accepted Answer

Healing after abuse is possible. But it requires a one-day-at-a-time approach, firm boundaries, and a commitment to prioritizing your safety and self care. here's what that looks like:

- Be Truthful About What Happened
- Do Not Contact Your Abuser
- Put Your Health First
- Ongoing Support is a Must

Get mentoring and find recovery resources after abuse from TheHopeLine.

Question 27

How to Support a Partner Who&#8217;s Been a Victim of Abuse

Accepted Answer

Helping your boyfriend (or supporting your girlfriend) who has been abused can be physically exhausting and emotionally draining. To guard your mental health, it is important to have a clear understanding of what you can do to help and where someone else’s help would be more appropriate. You can love and listen, and you can help them find support for the bigger problems you can't solve.

Question 28

Abuse Reality Check Is It Just Anger, or Is It Abuse?

Accepted Answer

Anger can be motivated by a number of factors. Whatever their reasoning, if the person who is angry does not show a pattern of cruelty, it’s unlikely the relationship will become abusive. But if your partner is repeatedly lashing out, attempting to control you, or trying to keep you away from other relationships, these toxic relationships can become abusive.

Question 29

Red Flags, but Married Him Anyway

Accepted Answer

Some people get divorced because abuse makes them feel unsafe. Others feel trapped by their partner’s addiction. Perhaps there has been infidelity in the relationship. Whatever the reason, divorce can be devastating for everyone in a family. Make sure you have the support you need. If you don’t know where to turn, start with TheHopeLine.  Jewel did. Here's her story.

Question 30

Bible Verses on Forgiveness &#8211; Help from God

Accepted Answer

There are lots of Bible verses to help us find the strength and courage to forgive. Knowing what the Bible says about forgiveness can also help us understand how much God loves us to help us trust in Him. "He has not punished us as we deserve for our sins. . ." (Psalm 103:10).

Question 31

How to Deal with Verbally Abusive Parents: EP 25

Accepted Answer

How to deal with verbally abusive parents can be complicated, depending on the situation. Advice from a trained counselor can help you identify and break the cycles of parental abuse. Listen to this podcast about living with abusive parents to hear real stories of struggle, and to find hope and encouragement for healing after verbal abuse.

Question 32

Is Your Toxic Relationship Sucking the Life out of You? EP 21

Accepted Answer

It takes far more courage to leave a toxic relationship and be single and healthy than to stay in the toxic relationship. There will always be people to date but the question is, who is this person? Am I growing when I'm with them? Am I just going to plow into another relationship unprotected and clamoring to meet needs the other person can't meet?

Question 33

Bible Verses for Self-Acceptance When You Hate Yourself

Accepted Answer

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." (Ephesians 2:10, NLT) How does it make you feel to know that you are God's masterpiece? If you struggle with hating yourself, these Bible verses can help you learn to love yourself again.

Question 34

Bible Verses for Sexual Assault Victims &#038; Survivors

Accepted Answer

"The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you." (Psalm 9:9-10) If you've been sexually assaulted, you are not alone, God is always with you, and there are many Bible verses that can encourage you and help you heal.

Question 35

Why Do You Hate Yourself?

Accepted Answer

Hating yourself is a common emotion. It’s so tragic to hear someone say, "I hate myself". But deep down, many people do. Do you hate yourself? If so, it isn't because you're a bad person. You're worthy of love, and you can repair your self-esteem and sense of worth. You don't have to stay stuck in a cycle of self-loathing.

Question 36

What are warning signs that someone may be abusive?

Accepted Answer

"Here are 8 signs of a toxic relationship:

1. Insults and unkind words
2. Disrespect and lack of valuing each other
3. Isolation
4. Control.
5. Blame.
6. Physical roughness or forcefulness.
7. Pressuring you to have sex.
8. Jealousy

If you're seeing any of these patterns, learn how to get healing and stop toxic patterns."

Question 37

Why do Bad Things Happen?

Accepted Answer

This has never been an easy question to tackle. There may never be a perfect answer, simply because we may never fully comprehend God or how people’s choices impact the world. Struggling in faith is a normal and healthy part of strengthening it. God cares about you and wants to know how you feel when tough things happen so that He can heal and comfort you.

Question 38

3 Steps to Escape an Abusive Relationship

Accepted Answer

1. Get support. If you don't think you have anyone to talk to, please chat with TheHopeLine. 
2. Make a Safety Plan: Include an escape route, let neighbors know to call the cops if they hear yelling, and set aside money.
3. Internet Safety: Make internet and phone use as safe and secure as possible. Don't use a platform unless it is absolutely necessary.

Question 39

How Do You Deal with Being Abandoned?

Accepted Answer

"Here are steps you can take to face neglect and abandonment and begin to heal:

- Understand What Abandonment and Neglect Are
- Don't Cover Your Pain or Try Numbing It with Unhealthy Choices
- Remember It's Not Your Fault
- Learn to Forgive
- Look for a Mentor
- Reach Out to Get Immediate Needs Met

If you've been abandoned, get support now."

Question 40

Coping with Sexual Abuse

Accepted Answer

You need to know sexual abuse is never your fault and is never okay. You should never be made to keep secrets that make you uncomfortable. Please find someone who you trust to talk to about what’s going on in your life. It may be a pastor, school counselor, therapist, or doctor. But you must find some place to get help as soon as you possibly can.

Question 41

Abusive Dating Relationships: Abuse is NOT Love

Accepted Answer

"If the person you're dating is:

- Causing you physical, emotional, spiritual, or sexual harm
- Forcing themselves on you or forcing you to have sex
- Manipulating you
- Going back and forth between showering affection on you and being cruel to you
- Blaming you for everything, including the harm that happens to you

These are warning signs that it's time to break free and get help."

Question 42

Abuse in Relationships Can Turn Into Tragedy

Accepted Answer

- 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will be a victim of domestic violence in their lifetime
- Women ages 18 to 34 are at the greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence
- More than 4 million women experience physical assault and rape by their partners
- In 2 out of 3 female homicide cases, females are killed by a family member or intimate partner

Get help to break free from abusive relationships right now.

Question 43

PTSD: What Is It and Do I Have It?

Accepted Answer

Symptoms of PTSD can include sudden increase in heart rate, rapid breathing or difficulty catching your breath, fear, panic, despair, and anxiety, with changes in mood happening suddenly after a stress trigger. The most common and pronounced symptom of PTSD is flashbacks, which make you feel like you’re reliving a harmful or traumatic experience. The good news is that there are plenty of effective treatments for PTSD that your doctor and therapist can recommend.

Question 44

Sexual Assault: 15 Tips to Protect Yourself

Accepted Answer

Unfortunately, people make cruel choices, and sexual assault happens to men and women who did nothing wrong. But by trusting your instincts, communicating clearly with friends about your plans, and making a plan to get to and from where you're going safely with someone you trust, you are more likely to prevent incidents of sexual assault. Get more help and support from TheHopeLine.

Question 45

Why Do People End Their Life by Suicide?

Accepted Answer

"People likely end up dying by suicide because they thought:
- ""There is no one I can talk to about my pain.""
- ""I want to give up.""
- ""Telling someone I am suicidal will be too much for them to handle.""
- ""I am struggling with addiction and feel trapped, like I've hit rock bottom.""
If you feel suicidal, you can get help immediately. Call  1-800-273-8255 24/7/365."

Question 46

Should I Forgive My Abuser?

Accepted Answer

Here are some ways abuse survivors find healing.

- Find someone to talk to about what’s going on.
- Take whatever steps are necessary to protect yourself from serious abuse.
- Get rid of any guilty feelings.
- Forgive your abuser (Remember it doesn't mean you are letting them off the hook).
- Think positively about yourself and your life.
- Turn your story into a way to care about and help others.
- Turn to God and your faith.

Get more help and support.

Question 47

What is Emotional Abuse?

Accepted Answer

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me": This old saying could not be farther from the truth. Verbal/emotional abuse happens when yelling and anger go too far or when someone constantly criticizes, threatens, or dismisses you until your self-esteem and feelings of self-worth are damaged. It also includes being around constant family conflict.

Question 48

Parent Relationships: Am I Being Abused?

Accepted Answer

Abusive relationships are difficult and draining for everyone, but especially for children who have been physically, verbally, or emotionally abused by their parents. Your parents may say they love you, but their actions may show you the opposite. If you do not feel loved by your parent, you need a safe place to talk about those feelings. You also need to know this for sure: abuse is never, ever your fault!

Question 49

My Ex Won&#8217;t Leave Me Alone! Steps to Take

Accepted Answer

Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is hard. But it’s even more difficult when your ex won't leave you alone after the breakup. I figure there are at least two different reasons why an ex won't let go. Either they want to get back together with you, or they are just trying to get back at you.

Partners for Abuse

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