My Boyfriend Hurt Me

[He] Made Me do Nasty Stuff that I Really Didn't Want to Do.

I received this comment from a girl, and it broke my heart, I am 14 years and I listen to your show as much as I can. I had a hard time last year because one boy I like was at the bowling alley and made me do nasty stuff that I really didn't want to do.

I've heard a similar story many, many times before and it never gets easier to hear.

She met this boy she really liked. But by the time their relationship ended, she felt used and ashamed. Why? Because "[he] made me do nasty stuff that I really didn't want to do."

It makes me wonder what her ex-boyfriend was thinking. Why did he push her to do things sexually that violated and hurt her?  Maybe he felt like he was in love with her and wanted his sexual passion to become even more intense.  But the truth is, he did not really love her.

Love Never Violates

You see, love never demands someone to do something that would violate another.  Love does not trash someone else's deeply held values.  The term love is one of the most misunderstood and abused words in the dictionary.  Sometimes, when a guy says to a girl, I love you, he is really saying, I don't love you.  I love me and what sexual favors you do for me.

Love Protects

When a guy really loves a girl, he will do everything he can to protect her.  Someone once said, "Love can always wait to give.  Lust can't wait to get."  I don't really know what Alicia's ex-boyfriend was saying to her.  My guess is he told her he loved her and if she loved him, she would do things he wanted her to do.  He was lying to her, or he was terribly confused.

I often say on my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, something very simple: "Don't listen to what a guy says. Watch what he does." Whatever Alicia's ex-boyfriend said to her, his actions proved him wrong.  I believe in guys (I happen to be one myself), but I'm tired of some guys using girls just for their own cheap thrills.

If you’re feeling stressed or strained whenever you’re around someone you care about, you could be in an unhealthy relationship. Answer these relationship reality check questions to find out. 

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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