How To Have a Successful Military Relationship

If you’re a veteran, grew up in a military family, or have a spouse in the military, you face many challenges and struggles. TheHopeLine supports veterans and military families on their healing journey, and we’re here to help as soon as you reach out.

Military Relationships Can Stay Strong

If you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, or parent in the military, your relationships can last, and they can stay strong and healthy. A military deployment does not have to signal the end of a relationship. Nevertheless, it’s good to be aware of the following unique challenges your relationship may face, and to have the support you need to face them with courage.

  • Isolation: Because of the distance and limited communication involved in deployment, feelings of abandonment can surface for you or your partner in the military. Keeping those feelings in perspective and developing healthy coping strategies will help make the time apart more bearable.
  • Mental or Emotional Illness: Due to the high-stress nature of military service and separation, military members and their loved ones can develop struggles with mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Please know you are not alone. There are many organizations with mental health resources tailored to military families.
  • Addictive Behaviors: Addiction can develop when you or someone you love is deployed or dealing with the aftermath of military service. If you are at risk for addiction, or need help breaking free from addictive behaviors, TheHopeLine is here to help you make a plan for sobriety and find a treatment program that meets your needs.

Being aware of the risks relationships can face both during deployment and when coming home from military service will hopefully allow you to pro-actively make a plan to overcome together.

Tips for Healthy Relationships During Deployment

Here are some suggestions for building healthy relationships while you or a loved one are deployed:

  • Make a Plan. Talk about how to handle housekeeping and financial responsibilities. Discuss family matters and how to navigate them. Make plans to communicate regularly so that you continue to make decisions together. While mail and email may be limited, it is still an option. Commit to doing the best you can using the methods that make you feel the most connected.
  • Share what’s happening on a day-to-day basis. While sadness is a part of deployment, keeping things from one another for fear of making each other sad can exacerbate feelings of disconnection. Share what’s going on in your day-to-day life. There may be some details about deployments that can’t be disclosed, but there’s still much that can be shared about the people around you and what your daily responsibilities are.
  • Keep a journal. This will help you process your feelings, and may be a good source of sharing and relationship-building when you and your loved one get to talk.
  • Send care packages. These are a great, tangible reminder of what you share, and remind deployed service members that they are not alone. Think of ways to make each package creative and fun.
  • Stay active in things you enjoy. Have outlets and activities to keep you busy while you are apart.

While it’s perfectly normal and understandable to acknowledge that you miss one another, return as often as you can to trust, affirmation, and gratitude. Praying for one another can also be a great encouragement to both your hearts when times get tough.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure how to cope with the challenges of deployment, TheHopeLine offers confidential support for military families, service members, and veterans. Request a mentor or live chat with us today.

Want to learn more? Search our library of podcasts, blogs, ebooks, and other resources for answers to questions like:

  • How Do I Remain Hopeful While My Loved One is Deployed?
  • How Do I Handle Grief After Losing a Loved One?
  • Should I Go Into Military Service?

FAQ on Military:

Can Military Relationships Work?

"Spouses enter that new world of relationships and camaraderie as well. Like I said, both sign up, one as a soldier and the other as a military spouse. If two people can to embrace the difficulties, dangers, and crazy lifestyle of serving their country in the military, their relationship can grow and both be better for it. Those who have done so would not have it any other way."

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