How To Talk About Sex Without Shame or Fear

You shouldn’t be ashamed or afraid to talk about sex. It’s a natural part of human life. It can and should be a beautiful experience.

But if you’ve been a victim of sexual abuse, trafficking, sexual assault, or have addictions to unhealthy sexual behaviors, sex becomes shameful, frightening, and isolating.

You may feel worthless or used. You may feel like you can’t stop your addictive sexual behavior. Maybe you’re afraid that your future romantic relationships will become sexually abusive or unhealthy because of past trauma.

If you are struggling with any of those feelings, they can be powerful, but there is hope.

We’ve helped people addicted to sex and pornography break free from their feelings of desperation. We’ve supported people who’ve been sexually assaulted, sexually abused, and trafficked in their journey toward healing and wholeness. We’ve offered prayer for people who felt completely closed off, and helped them to open up about their experiences with sex.

Wherever you are in your understanding of sex and how it shapes your life and relationships, we can help you gain clarity, find peace of mind, and let go of guilt, despair, and other emotions that leave you feeling trapped.

What We Know About Sex

Many people have unhealthy relationships with sex, and many have been victimized by sexual assault, abuse, or misuse. You are not alone. There are people who feel your pain and know your struggle.

You are a human, not an object. Your body is still a temple (1 Corinthians 16:9) and still sacred. What you have been through does not change or tarnish who you are. You are no less valuable and are just as worthy of love as you were before your sexual struggles began.

A healthy understanding of oneself and healthy boundaries in relationships are integral to a healthier understanding of (and relationship to) sexual relationships and behaviors. That clarity comes from talking about sex with someone you can trust: a mentor, a therapist, a physician, or someone in your faith community.

Let’s Talk About It

Were you raised in a home or church where talking about sex was taboo? Sometimes these protective rules and expectations of perfect sexual purity can keep you from talking with others about your struggles. However, without someone to talk to, you may feel alone and full of shame. And that’s a bad cycle to be stuck in.

The truth is, asking questions (even when they feel uncomfortable) is healthy and normal. And it’s often the first step toward the answers you’ve been longing for.

  • What should I do if I am being pressured to have sex?
  • How do I break my addiction to pornography?
  • How do I cope with the sexual abuse in my past?
  • How do I protect myself from sexual assault?

Judgment-Free Help and Support

It can feel impossible to open up about intimate areas of our lives, especially if we’ve heard things like:

  • “I can’t believe you would do something like that.”
  • “What were you doing or wearing that caused that to happen?”
  • “Why did you let that happen?”
  • “That’s a major sin. The damage has been done and you can’t take it back.”

You are not damaged goods. You are still “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). And you can find freedom and healing from past sexual hurts and mistakes.

Not sure where to start? We are here to help without judgement…only love.

Sex doesn’t have to be a cause for fear, shame, or self-hate. Our resources (podcasts, ebooks, and more) can help you answer sensitive questions:

  • What do I do if my boyfriend or girlfriend wants to have sex, but I’m not ready?
  • What are some of the signs of sexual addiction?
  • How does sex affect my relationship?

FAQ on Sex:

How Do I Tell Someone I’m Not Ready for Sex?

It’s important to be honest with yourself and your partner. If you’re not ready, tell them. Depending on how you feel or what you believe, you might say: “I’m not ready to have sex.” “I want to wait to have sex until marriage.” “I don’t want to have sex at this stage of our relationship.” If they don’t respect your “No”, it’s not a healthy relationship to stay in. If you need help with this conversation, support is available.

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Most Recent Blogs on Sex

How Do You Tell Someone You’re Not Ready to Have Sex?

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TheHopeLine has posted before on the topic of consent and its utmost importance when it comes to sex, and there’s a lot out there on how and why consent is so important. But how in the world do you actually say “no” when you find yourself in the situation of..Read more

7 Signs of an Unhealthy Soul Tie

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SOUL TIES Sex is a tridimensional experience: spirit, soul, and body. Anytime you have sex with a person you bond with them. Dr. Daniel Amen writes in his book, “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life,” “Whenever a person is sexually involved with another person, neurochemical changes occur in both their brains..Read more

Everyone Loves Sex. So Why Wait?

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When I met my wife, it was like we had known each other for years. One of the reasons I was nervous (other than the fact that I hit her in the head with my surfboard, splitting her head open) was the deep sense of connection I felt from that..Read more

Am I Damaged Goods if I Had Sex Before Marriage?

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Many people still plan to wait to have sex with their boyfriend or girlfriend until marriage. But sometimes, those plans fall through. Maybe you felt a strong connection, and were convinced they were the only one you would be with. Maybe one of you felt pressured to have sex as..Read more

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Eating Disorder: I Stopped Eating to Become “Good Enough”

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I had to think long and hard about if I should share my story. Then I came to the conclusion that it would be worth it if it lets someone else know they aren’t alone, and it could be therapeutic for me. So here is my story and what led..Read more

Pornography Addiction: Being a Muslim to Christianity

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Before I Became a Christian and Pornography Addiction My life before Jesus Christ is an interesting story. I was not brought up as a Christian. I used to be a Muslim.  When I was 9 years old, my family moved from Iran where I was born and raised and came..Read more

I Can’t Let a Broken Heart Break My Life

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I can't let a broken heart break my life. There is a choice between giving in to my pain or giving it all to God. I choose the second. I decided to let God give me the strength to endure my moment of pain, to let God walk with me..Read more

Sexual Assault

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I was raped while taking the garbage out, right outside of my own house. I never saw who, but I’m hoping he will be caught soon.  I came to TheHopeLine because I was feeling alone and overwhelmed with everything.  Despite the support from my family and friends, I felt like..Read more

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Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come through a relationship with Jesus. And this […]

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