If you ask any successful person what helped them along their journey to success they will undoubtedly mention a person who took an interest in them early on and invested in their life. Someone they would call their mentor.
I have been strongly influenced by people who took an interest in me and my work with teenagers and young adults and helped guide and direct me and my ministry over many years. I believe God placed these mentors in my life to help shape who I am today.
Likewise, I have tried to make a difference in the lives of the people who call my radio show by speaking truth to them, being a positive influence in their lives and connecting them with TheHopeLine and our partners.
Have you had a good mentor in your life? Are you in a season where you need to find a mentor to help give you direction? Could you be a good mentor for someone else?
Mentoring makes such a difference in the lives of others.
Here are some benefits a good mentor provides:
Quality mentoring relationships have powerful positive effects on people in their personal lives, in social situations, in their education and careers.
I think this world could be an amazing place if we stopped being so focused on ourselves and started investing in the lives of others. So this blog is my way of encouraging you today to open your eyes to the people in your life who may benefit from your influence. You don’t need to go announce to them that you are going to be their mentor, but you can start showing an interest in their life, you can invite them out for coffee or a soda and just give them an opportunity to talk.
(Many of these also apply to being a good friend as well.)
BE TRUSTWORTHY. It is important that they fully believe you have their best interest at heart…that you genuinely care. Your motives cannot be selfish. If you are doing this to look like a hero or look like an expert, they will pick up on that. It needs to be about them so that they can trust you with the junk in their lives.
BE SAFE. You want to be their safe place. A place they don’t fear judgment. A place they can share their fears, their mistakes, their vulnerabilities and you will not walk away. You won’t laugh at them. You are safe to confide in.
BE CONSISTENT. Be a person they can count on. If you say you are going to meet at a certain time, be there. If you are going to attend an event, be there. They need to know they can count on you.
BE TRANSPARENT. It’s O.K., even helpful, to let them know you struggle too. You will be more relatable. In fact, knowing you faced challenges, and succeeded despite them, might give them hope for themselves. Using personal stories and experiences is also often a good way to communicate and influence their way of thinking. People often relate to stories much more easily than straightforward advice. However, when sharing your story, you must remember that this is NOT about you. It is still about them.
BE CURIOUS. This might be the most important quality on this list…much more important than offering good advice. Because if you aren’t curious about their life, if you aren’t willing to ask them lots of questions to discover what brought them to where they are today, why they view the world the way they do, and what it is like to walk in their shoes, then you have no right to offer advice. Additionally, learning to ask them questions rather than just throwing advice at them will help them “buy-in” to a solution. They need to discover the solution on their own. Research shows that if someone offers you advice or simply shares an opinion with you, your brain tends to interpret that as a threat to your own ideas. On the flip side questions are embraced by the brain.
Here are some questions to help get you started:
What's going well for you right now?
What isn't going well?
What's something you're feeling frustrated about?
Where are you feeling stuck?
What's something you've learned recently that you're excited about?
What would you like to be different in a month? In a year? Two years?
BE PATIENT. A person will change when they decide to change. Don’t expect them to immediately make perfect decisions once you walk into their life. But stick with them, even when it’s frustrating. They might continue to make some bad decisions for a while but be patient and be a consistent presence in their life.
BE A VOICE OF REASON. As you seek to guide them, much of your role will involve helping them process what the next right step to take is. You are a sounding board for them to bounce ideas off of and then a facilitator…asking them questions to help them come up with their own answers. If they ask for your opinion, say something like, "Sure, I'll give you my opinion. But first I'd like to hear what you think about it.” Change and growth are hard work. But help them reason out what the alternative is. Is it better to stay in the same place with the same consequences? Or to do the hard work of moving forward to a better future?
BE A CHEERLEADER. Celebrate their accomplishments. Build them up. Let them know you believe they can do whatever they put their mind to. Encouragement is the muscle that helps them take the first step toward change.
The benefits of mentoring both for the mentor and mentee are vast. If you are interested in making a last impact on someone’s life, become a mentor. There are many great organizations seeking volunteer mentors, to find an organization in your area.
Are you in a season of life where you could really benefit from having a mentor? Sign up for an e-mail mentor through TheHopeLine here.
Do you have a story about a mentor changing your life or have you mentored someone and found they impacted you? Let me know in the comments below!
Every morning, I would wake up and ask myself, "Will I make it through today without crying?" One day, I got fed up with it all. With my sadness, with being ignored, everything. I wrote a suicide note, prepared to take my life. That's when everything flashed before my eyes. I should talk to someone, I thought.
I found this website, and was prepared to wait in a long line to speak to someone. As soon as I clicked the, "Chat now!" button, someone spoke to me. For the first time in a few years, someone spoke to me. I told them everything. They told me what I could do to help myself, and they prayed with me. I told them as soon as the chat was done, "Please know that you have saved a life." I would have taken my own life if it hadn't been for this. I made a deal with them. If I ever needed to talk, I would come on here, and talk, in exchange for them helping more and more people.
Thank you for the experience that I had. I know that suicide is not a thing to play around with, but from experience, it's something that can be stopped. Keep helping people!
~Adeline
If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. For a list of crisis centers around the world and additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.
Have you gotten close to writing a suicide note? Do you have thoughts that you are not sure if you can make it through one more day? TheHopeLine has a free eBook for you.
If you were not on this earth, life for everyone else who is still here would never be the same. When everything feels hopeless, it helps to be reminded of your true value to everyone in your life.
Last week I was at a coffee shop with the intention to write, but I made a friend instead. They shared their wisdom about life with me. This person shared parts of their testimony. Despite having a HARD life, they choose to remain positive. I shared about the first time that Satan had a spirit of death, depression, and suicidal thoughts over me.
How they responded to me is relevant to anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts past or present. I was told, "The enemy does not want you here because he knows how special you are, what you have done and are going to do here on this earth for the glory of God." That statement has so much truth in it.
If I had died the first time I desperately wanted to, I would not have been able to make the small mark on the world that I have made. I wouldn’t have the honor of helping those whom I have gotten the chance to help, and Lama Leah wouldn’t be what it is and my thoughts and wisdom would not have reached around the world. In my wildest dreams I never thought that my life would change for the better, but against my contrary belief, it did! I have been able to do some things and help some people that I would have never have thought was possible.
The Enemy is intimidated by those who are going to do great things for the kingdom! When he sees something great that comes from God his instincts are to destroy it and prevent it from doing its work. The most rewarding thing that you can do is overcome the devil through the blood of Christ.
When I personally choose to fight for life, my depression did not end, nor was I always content with my decision. In the small moments of hope that’s when I knew that it was worth it. For me, it was giving a friend a hug who is hurting, snuggles with my dog, drinking peppermint tea, late nights focused on art projects, and writing a blog post that others enjoy or learn from. Life is worth fighting for!
If you die from suicide, you take the mark that you have and will put on the world and make it significantly lighter because if you continue to live the possibilities that you have to make your mark are endless. The world will absolutely never be the same without you because you bring something unique and individual to the world. If you are suicidal, I am truly begging you to give this life another chance.
Life may not become instantly better, but it can and will change eventually. God could be allowing you to go through this season as an opportunity to grow. Maybe God will use the season that you are in now to give you wisdom for a different season. I promise you that choosing life will be worth it!
Two years ago, in the car, when my best friend was pleading for me to fight, she told me this, “You can’t take your life, think about how great the day will be when you are able to say, ‘I made it through this hell and look where I am now.’ Things can only get better from here.” What she said was true. If you are suicidal from a bully in your life (any kind of bully, a physical person, depression, current life circumstances, the DEVIL, etc.), how will you be able to prove them wrong if you’re not alive to do so? From my experience, the rewarding part of various struggles in life is when you can overcome them.
Those who have the hardest life become the strongest people. If you are currently suicidal, please be encouraged. The battles that you are in are worth fighting. It is impossible to achieve victory if you give up, and you can be victorious. I promise you that life will change, and when it does, you will be grateful that you did not act on your plan. Think about what a great day it will be when you are able to see the beauty in your hardships. Suicide eliminates the chances of life becoming better because it stops your journey in this world.
If you choose life let me, tell you this, it will not always be an easy battle to overcome, but it is worth every hardship and tear. Jesus is here to walk with you, by your side, every step of the way. Everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay now, remember it simply isn’t the end.
If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.
Lama Leah is a blogger, and supporter of the arts, social change, and God’s chosen people. Read more from her on her blog: Lama-Leah!
If you are struggling with depression, I want you to know, I hear your pain…I know it’s real…I know you can’t just snap out of it…or choose to be happy.
I get it…this depression…well it stinks, and it’s not anything you’ve asked for.
So today – I want to share all the ways in which I’ve heard depression described by people who are suffering. If you see yourself in these words, please know that you are not alone.
All satisfaction is gone ~ Void ~ Empty ~ Nothingness ~ Cloudy ~ Darkness hovering ~ Can’t find joy in anything ~ Simple tasks painful ~ No purpose in life ~ Alone ~ No self-esteem ~ Unable to find meaning in life ~ Not able to get out of bed ~ Wondering what’s the point ~ Wear a social mask, until you can’t anymore ~ Shutting everyone out ~ Fear you won’t ever be happy again
So why do I share all this? Because I want you to know that a lot of people understand your struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts. And the good news is that those who suffer from depression also describe how it feels to get to the other side. I’ve heard it described as leaving the winter season and moving into spring. So, hold on because there is always the other side!
Someone said, “I’m so thankful that I held onto the faith that on the other side of the pain is something good.”
Try to remind yourself of that thought in the dark times.
Also remember depression is treatable! Sadly, many people do not recognize this, and the symptoms of depression keep them from seeking treatment. If you do nothing else, please:
As you seek treatment, here are some other things you should consider:
(Source: National Institute of Mental Health)
So we get it…we know it’s hard…and we want to be your listening ear if you need one. Please don’t hesitate to chat with TheHopeLine.
For more verses of Hope: Verses for Hope When Struggling with Depression.
Did anything I suggested in this post help you or any other thoughts on dealing with depression? Let me know in the comments.
If you are struggling with depression, no matter the cause, to find out more and get help, check out our free eBook on Depression!
Almost 10 years ago, I had first heard Dawson McAllister on the radio when I was on tour throughout Tennessee. I was only 16 or 17 at the time, now I'm 27. I have 2 beautiful daughters and in a much happier place. Mostly because of the conversation I had with Dawson McAllister on the air while I was driving and it was late. I was considering just turning the wheel and going off the road and doing whatever I could to just end it. But after the talk we had, I changed my mind.
I just wanted to thank you, my friend, Dawson. Without God, and without you... I wouldn't have my two beautiful girls to wake me up and drive me nuts every morning. And I wouldn't change that for the world. Thank you.
~Matt
If you are ready to give up and need someone to help you, connect with a HopeCoach. Or if this is an emergency and you or a friend needs support, right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for free confidential, 24/7 help. For a list of crisis centers around the world and additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.
