How Do I Deal with Bitterness After a Breakup?

Brad’s been hurt by many women. His last ex’s new boyfriend jumped him. He needs to deal with his own bitterness.

Dating Problems

BRAD'S (MINNEAPOLIS, MN) QUESTION:

Dawson: What’s going on, Brad?

Brad (from Minneapolis, MN): Just a bunch of stuff, and relationship problems basically.

Dawson: A lot of people have hurt you, huh?

Brad: Yes

Dawson: Same old, same old…is it the same pattern?

Dawson: David, how are you tonight?

Brad: Basically. Well, this one girl threw me off. We were going out for about 8 ½ months and she decided to break up with me because I was moving. We started talking more and more and we started getting into arguments. About a month ago, she came down. She got out of the car and started talking to me. She was texting on the phone saying she was texting one of her friends that their dad was drunk. We started walking down the road, all of a sudden, her new boyfriend comes up right behind me and jacks me in my face. So, he basically jumps me. I just look at her and my mind is filled with disgust, and she was right behind him.

DAWSON MCALLISTER'S ANSWER:

Dawson: There’s a lot of needy people in the world. There are a lot of hurtful people in the world. And he did you a favor. He took her off your hands. I know you can just dwell on that and dwell on that and let it turn to toxic poison in your soul and control your whole personality and turn you bitter. Or you can say, I’m going to start looking for some good in people. I’m going to be far more careful who I date.

Brad: And I’ve tried that. It just seems like everyone that looks at me, thinks bad of me.

Dawson: It appears to me that you’re bitter for some reason.

Brad: I don’t know. During those 8 ½ months I didn’t do anything wrong to her. I didn’t cheat on her. I didn’t abuse her or anything like that. And it just came down to this.

Dawson: You’re dating a messed-up girl and not every woman is messed up. You just have not yet found a stable one. But the problem is with all the bitterness you have in you…it shows and affects other people. You need to work on that, Brad, before you go out looking for some more woman. Because no woman can take that out of you. That has to be dealt with from the inside out. That’s a spiritual issue. Good talking to you, my friend.

If you’re struggling with anger and resentment from a broken heart.  A Hope Coach is ready to listen and help you through this. You can chat with a Hope Coach here.

TheHopeLine Team
For over 30 years, TheHopeLine has been helping students and young adults in crisis. Our team is made up of writers and mental health professionals who care deeply about helping others.
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