Stories

My Night Started With Cutting

I started my night by cutting.

The hallucinations in my head were taking over any thought I could possibly have of getting out of this situation Girl sitting on the floor with chatting with a HopeCoach.alive. All I could hear were voices telling me to give up, about anger and hatred and constant ideas of death and suicide. I have been through hell since I turned 11 and I still sometimes think it will never end.

But tonight, I was shown the love of God by the HopeCoach I talked to. Even though it seems that no one understands my dangerous hallucinations, the coach was extremely compassionate as I explained my situation to her.

She helped me push those voices out of my head so I could focus on the truth: God is love and is protecting my life.  I don’t have to be afraid anymore. Even though these voices will continue to attack my head, I can always remember that God is on my side. The voices are gone for tonight and I can finally sleep in peace.

Thank you HopeLine for taking the time to listen to my story and help me through one of the hardest nights of my life!

Kristin


Related Posts:
A Door of Hope
Why Do People Self-Harm?
Real Story: Artist Michaela Hatfield
How To Quit Cutting


If you or someone you know struggles with self-harm, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook: Understanding Self-Harm. You can also connect with our partners at Door of Hope. You are not alone.

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  • EightyObselete

    I sometimes play video games so long into the evening that I can’t function the next day. It prevents me from getting a meaningful job. It doesn’t help that when the Manager of McDonalds looks at my arms and sees my scars I don’t know what to tell him. French Fry grease hurts, but when I splash it on my arms, I hope the scaring helps hide the scars from my cuts.

    My only solace lately has been to post messages on various forums like Reddit. Why does being what some people consider a “troll” substitute for cutting myself? I guess they both involve a bit of ‘self loathing’.

    The worst night was when I found that Bernie Sanders lost to Hillary in the primaries. Cutting wasn’t enough. I had to pour Tabasco sauce in afterwards. Slowly. One drop at a time and then rubbed it in deep.

    Is that normal?

    • We want you to know that you are not alone in what you are experiencing and dealing with. We are here to help you through this. We have some great resources to help you with self harm. Please chat with a HopeCoach at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp