Dawson’s Blog

Resisting The Urge To Cut Yourself

In my blog How to Quit Cutting for Good I talked about 3 things to focus on to help you quit cutting: Talk it out, Wake up to your actual never-stop-hopingfeelings, and Seek God.

Once you decide you’re committed to stop cutting, you will find out what a struggle it is to go sober and stay free from this horrible addiction.

Related Posts:
A Door of Hope
Why Do People Self-Harm?
Real Story: Artist Michaela Hatfield
How To Quit Cutting

Even as you are beginning to recover, you still will feel the cravings to cut again. You are going to need to be prepared to know how to deal with those powerful urges. Here are some practical ideas to help you or someone you know be set free.

Stop feeding the Cutting monster – wait it out

Every urge you have to cut will go away in time, but only if you don’t act on it. Each time you act on your urge to cut, you’re making that urge stronger kind of like feeding a monster. Each time you feed the addiction, the more likely you will feel the urge to cut the next time you feel the same emotional pressure. The more you stand against the urge, without giving in, the more your urges will decrease.
Stop feeding the cutting monster – wait it out! Click To Tweet

Distract yourself from the desire to cut

One of the best ways to let the urge to cut pass is by distracting yourself with someone or something else. This will allow the moment to pass when you’re feeling the deep cravings to cut, and get your mind off of it. It’s impossible for your mind to think about two things at the exact same time. Here are some ideas on how to do this..

  1. Call a friend or meet them in person. Talk about what’s comfortable for you. The key is to keep talking.
  2. Take a shower. This will help invigorate your body so physically it too is distracted. (Make sure there are no razors in the shower).
  3. Exercise Walk, run, ride your bike, climb, swim, do yoga, etc. While you are exercising, your mind is more likely to think about something other than cutting.
  4. Play with a pet. Take your dog for a walk.
  5. Watch television or a non-violent, healthy movie.
  6. Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of water or a cup of hot chocolate.
  7. Listen to positive music. It will definitely help to change your mood.
  8. Write in your journal. Learn to express your feelings through writing.
  9. Create art, or some kind of creative hobby.
  10. Volunteer somewhere like a nursing home, or a hospital. In fact, getting a job will help as well. Some people cut out of sheer boredom.

Natalia put it this way: I still fight the urges, but the way I deal with it is by writing in my journal or talking to my best friend and boyfriend who are currently helping me through this.

Resist the urge to cut by distracting yourself with someone or something else. Click To Tweet

The point is: Find something else to do. If none of these ideas are possible at the moment, try finding a substitute for the cutting sensation.

  1. Rub an ice cube on your skin, instead of cutting.
  2. Wear a rubber band on your wrist, and snap it when you feel the urge.
  3. Draw on your skin with a red marker or food coloring in the place you would normally cut.
  4. Put temporary tattoos in the places you have the urge to cut.

Resist Urge to CutAngel said rubber bands have helped her. I’ve learned that snapping them against your wrist takes away a little bit of the amount to want to cut yourself. Ali said the key for her was she needed something physical to feel like she was still alive, that she was OK. So I mark a little pink heart on my calendar for every day I don’t cut…and believe it or not it helps. Help is possible, and stopping is realistic.

Tell your story

The biggest problem with a cutting addiction is it forces you to focus on how YOU are feeling.

Stop thinking about yourself so much, and focus on other cutters who need your help.

The more you can reach out to others, encouraging them to find better ways to express their feelings, the better you will be able to resist your own urges. Courtney said: I’m proud to be able to tell people my story of overcoming my self destructive behavior. Everyday is a struggle, but I always choose to find hope in the darkest situations and fight the urge.

Think About your Future without Cutting

You have an incredible life ahead of you, filled with many, many years of potential joy and time with people you love, and who love you as well. Think about what you’d like your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years, and start taking steps to move forward in that direction. Abby is 25, and she sees hope in her future: If I don’t quit cutting, then a lot of the things I want aren’t going to work out the way I dream they will.

Cyndal said: I thought about when I have children, and they see the cuts and scars on my arms, and they ask me, ‘Mommy what are those booboos on your arms?’ That really made me think, ‘WOW, what would I tell my children?’ And it made me cry for a really long time”

I want to encourage you to be strong like Amanda. She said: It’s a challenge everyday, but I am fighting to not cut, because I know that my life can be really awesome, and cutting does not fit into that picture. When you feel your emotions building up, remember you now have other options besides cutting.

Be strong. There is tremendous hope for you.

For more help on how to stop self-harming, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Self-Harm and Cutting.

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
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  • TheHopeLine

    Our HopeCoaches understand how powerful the urge can be. Please give us a call so that we can listen and connect you with one of our partner resources. There is Hope for healing. Call TheHopeLine: 1-800-394-4673 (HOPE)

  • Adriane

    My best friend cuts sometimes. Whenever she does, she tells me after she did it. When I ask her why she’s feeling depressed, she says she’s just feeling stressed and feels that everyone is always mad at her. I told her that our friends only got mad at her because they care and didn’t want her to get hurt. I also told her how I usually cope with stress. She isn’t very good at expressing her feelings. She only talks to me about her feelings. She also takes prescribed medications for depression. She doesn’t feel comfortable talking about her feelings to anyone else. If the advice in this blog doesn’t work, I don’t know what to do. I really want to help her and it breaks my heart to see her like this.

  • Kayliss Haugh

    i understand I’m that way to but I find it easyer when I try to put myself in a place where I can’t or won’t cut, then I put my blades in a completely different area where they won’t be in a close to reach area that I can’t think about cutting again. You may think that your friends and family don’t care, but my friends keep telling me ‘ we all have someone. That persons we may not see daily,but they do care.’ Remember that. I still have to think of that person all the time. That person may be the only reason your looking for help. Think of that person whenever you want to cut.

  • TheHopeLine

    Hi Jenny,
    Cutting is a hard addiction to overcome without help. We have some resources and a great partner at TheHopeLine that could help you. How about talking to a HopeCoach at 800.394.4673 or chatting online with one at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp Here is a link to a resource page for self-harm that may help you too: http://thehope.dm/selfharmresources Here is a link to an eBook that will help you with ways to overcome the urge to cut: http://thehope.dm/selfharmebook Jenny, you are never alone in what you are dealing with. We are here to help.

  • TheHopeLine

    Kara, We care about you. You don’t have to do this alone. We have HopeCoaches available 24/7 to chat online with you at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. We also have a great resource we can give you to help you with cutting. This is a link to a resource page on Self-Harm that may help you as well. http://thehope.dm/selfharmresources

  • TheHopeLine

    Kara, We really do care about you and that’s why we’ve been doing this for over 20 years…for young women and men, just like you, searching for hope and someone to listen to them. You are not alone, call or chat with a HopeCoach anytime day or night. Talking about what is going on in your life will help. 🙂

  • Erina

    I’m 12 and I self-harm but no one gives a crap……And I don’t feel like stopping anyway….

  • Christine

    im also 13 . i recently started cutting
    when i told my closesed friend she cried.i dont want to make her cry…….
    she is a good friend.i love cutting tho>i cant stop<every time i think about it i get the over welming urge to

  • stacie

    I’m 11 and I cut I also have friends that cut and I tell them to stop and I also want to stop I need help and I also want to help them

  • Afraid.

    Hi. I don’t cut, mostly, I use scratching, pinching, punching and well anything I can that doesn’t leave a really noticeable mark and that still gives me the relief from the pain. I have made it four hours without cutting, punching, flicking or anything else and It’s hard, really hard. I’m trying, I almost threw away my razor though. during the daytime, I feel happy, I laugh at jokes, I smile then during the night, at 3am when I’m all alone in the darkness, the urge rises, the urge to grab whatever is closet and inflict pain. I’m trying to stop but I don’t know If I can, I just wanted to wish good luck to all those trying to quit out there.

  • Jara

    I seem to be older than most of the commenters before me but I have cut off and on for the last 10 years 🙁 I struggle everyday and give in most days. I have tried other coping skills or distractions but the only thing that helps is spending time with my best friend but now she is in jail and I’m lost without her :'( I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to stop. The urge is too strong

  • sonya

    I started cutting when i was 11, i only cut for about 7 months before my mom bought me short sleeved clothes and i knew that i couldn’t hide my scars forever, and lies about my cat or dog wouldn’t last long. It has been about 4 months since i was determined to stop, but it has been really hard because when i started cutting i would only cut once a day, but then as it got worse i cut on my arms and stomach, and it has been really hard even though i haven’t made a mark in about 2 months. i still get really bad urges and wonder what would happen if i actually told someone that i need help. I dont think that it would go over well because my parents dont even know i have depresion, and i know that none of my friends would care. I just wish there was some way to stop quickly. ):

  • TheHopeLine

    Please call TheHopeLine! Our HopeCoaches care about you and want to help. They will listen and also have resources for you. http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • Rachell


    I was the same age as you when I started to cut and it seemed that I was never going to get better or the urges were never going to go away. As I read your post, I know that there is hope but I do not see an end to the means. I have felt the same way as you when I am alone in the darkness. I have gone to some very dark places and the only thing that made it better, at least for a moment, was to take that blade and cut. The feeling of euphoria and seeing the blood trickle from my body, always made things better. Instead of a butterfly, I have drawn a heart with my little sister’s name in it. I am going to try this and thank you for posting this idea, however; I have not cut myself in 4 months, but the urges are getting worse so this is something good to try. I will let you know if it works.

    Thank you,

  • Rachell

    I need help with the urges. I have not cut in 4 months, but the urges are getting worse. I need some ideas other than drawing something on my wrist ( which is a good one by the way). How do I stop the feeling of wanting to harm myself? Where do I go from here? Please help me?

  • Andrea

    I cut when i was 14 yrs old and then it slowly got worse, by the time i turned 15 i thought about it everyday. I had the urge to feel something because i felt nothing. I was in a three year relationship that was hell even though i was young i also was always getting hurt by the people i loved at a very young age about 7 years old i wont go into deep detail about that. I tried to hide it from everyone i would sit in my room and pretend i was sleeping i would shut my door and cry and cut all night. because i was embarrassed i didn’t want anyone to worry about me and make a scene, but finally someone noticed….. my little brother. I was so mad at myself i could not forgive myself i didn’t want my brother to see me like that. One night i hit rock bottom i toke a hard look at myself and i thought of my brother i wanted to show him that life can get better even though i had very little hope for myself. I started finding ways to help me stop like running,listening to music, studying things i wanted to learn about. But i am not going to lie urges still came but i slowly got better little by little. I am know 16 yrs old and haven’t cut for 5 months i am doing a lot better i broke up with my ex boyfriend a month ago and had no contact sense it is hard but i am getting through it.I am finding things i love to do and going for it. Always keep moving foreword and striving for your dreams. NEVER GIVE UP.

    • Thank you for sharing your story of hope! You are brave and courageous.

      • Andrea

        I just hope i can help someone fight the urge and get them help because its truly amazing how life can change. Even if your at the point of just giving up on everything. I was there at one point in my life people just need to understand how critical it is to keep moving foreword and work on them self. You cant expect to get different results if you keep doing the same thing over again. Yes getting help and talking to someone is a good step forward, but it really comes down to you.

  • Dei

    I was eleven or twelve when I started. It wasn’t cutting per se but injury. The cutting soon followed. I thought it was regarding rejection of a boy that was really a date rape but it became more. Never enough for someone,never enough. I became stronger around age thirty and now near fifty I’ve fallen back. I remember more, I think, and I don’t want to know the truth. If it is true I believe that person was trying to make amends. If I tell is it worth hurting so many others. Jesus forgave the sinner. I have sinned also.bwhat is the answer

  • Hannah

    I’m 16 and I started cutting when I was 13. I actually just kinda felt awful, so I cut myself on purpose with an eyebrow shaver. It didn’t hurt or show up so I didn’t think it did anything. But the next day I looked at it and I was kind of excited? Like I found a way to express my feelings. I haven’t cut since February of 2015, but now I’m in school and I’m really mad and upset at someone because we had a group project that got my grade lowered. I just really want to see blood and feel the icy metal of the razor. I miss it. So I’m writing this. I hope it’ll go away. I’ll draw out my feelings, and if that doesn’t work, I may end up talking to one of the coaches on this site. I’m praying to God for help and answers as well.

  • Rose Marie

    I haven’t started cutting.. But I think about it almost nonstop and I’m at my breaking point.. I don’t want to start.. I do non-permanent stuff like scratching myself and pulling my hair and pinching.. But it’s not the same. Well I guess I wouldn’t know.. I just don’t know what to do anymore I guess..

  • Rose Marie

    Hey, I might only be 16, but I understand. You’re okay. That’s all you need to know. Is that you’re okay. Just focus on the future and you’ll be golden. You’re okay.

  • Rose Marie

    Sweetie, first of all, you have a beautiful name. And second of all, it is okay. I’m 16. My little sister is 12 years old and I hear all about the mean kids and drama and sadness. But you need to remember that you’re strong. Youve gone through so much pain, you have to give yourself a break. You need to be happy. And that’s all up to you and your perspective on the world around you and yourself. If you stay positive you’ll be okay. And remember the bright future you have ahead of you. You have so much to live for and you’re so young. You’re so strong and amazing, I hope I can be as strong as you one day. I love you, and so do so many people. It’s okay. It’s all okay.

  • bailey

    I am 13 and i struggle with cutting, over dosing and have tried killing myself many times my sister has cancer my Nana just died of cancer and so did my great uncle and I was really close to them both then just before Christmas my granddad and that was it now everyday from then i cut. 2 days ago I made a deal with my boyfriend that I would never cut or at least try to never cut again but its been a struggle 4 me because I’ve been on and off cutting 4 over 4 years now and I don’t know what to do. I think over and over in my head everyday dose anyone actually care about me, would anyone actually care if i actually sic-seeded in killing myself? I don’t know what to do any more and i cant keep relying on my boyfriend because he needs to be with his granddad because his granddads cancers came back

  • Amanda Choke

    This is the first I’ve spoken out about this. I’ve been struggling since I’m 9. I’m going on 20. I stopped for about a year and 2 months already but the urge is just getting worse every day. I’m breaking down crying in bed/in the shower/in public bathrooms because I can’t handle the urge anymore. I was badly addicted. I wouldn’t go a week without cutting and I stopped cold turkey. I don’t know what to do. I started abusing pills/weed and cigarettes to ease it but it makes me feel shittier and now I have more addictions to deal with. I’m a mental wreck. Please, can someone give me the slightest bit of guidance here on how to cope ?

  • Thanks for coming here for help and for your honesty. Talking about it is really important. Is there someone safe like a school counselor you could tell?

  • Sounds like you are an amazing overcomer! Our chat lines are safe, private, and free. We are here to listen and encourage. I am sorry you are going through this season of loneliness with friends having moved away. Please know that you are not alone. We care. http://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/

  • You are not horrible. Thanks for reaching out here. We want to chat with you and connect you to resources that can help. We are here for you 24/7 – http://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/

  • That is a huge success! I am so proud of you for working so hard at it. When you feel like cutting you can chat with a HopeCoach. We are here for you 24/7 http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Again, I just wanna say that’s awesome!

  • lonelylady95

    Hi, I’m 20 and I use to cut a lot when I was younger. my legs were tore up and I sometimes cut my fingertips. I just want to say that I stopped at age 17 I had started at age 16 but I recently relapsed and I ask for prayer please . I know it’s possible to rise from the ashes of personal despair and fine peace. For the longest time I had that peace. I lost it again but I know in my heart it is attainable . as long as people pray for me I can reach that goal of being back in top form. As long as we pray for each other we will all be back in top form. Brothers and sisters I pray you all find strength as well.thank you for hearing me out and letting me rant online. Loneliness kills man and I’m fighting it epicaly. Please keep me in your prayers…..

  • Alice

    I’m 23 now. I started to “mutilate” myself when I was 10.. I would stick safety pins in my fingers..when I turned thirteen I started to take razors to my skin.. This was my way of dealing with the pain inside. I was molested by a family member and when I tried to tell my sister and about it she told me to keep my mouth shut.. My mom overheard and asked me if it was true and I said yes… But she never brought it up again and did nothing about it… Which hurt me even more… I didn’t know what else to do.. I was separated by death from those I was close to at a very young age. Death and sadness surrounded me. Even at church I felt alone and like I didn’t belong, my first boyfriend was abusive and to this day the only one that knows who molested me.. He threw it back in my face and I still don’t trust anyone , doubt I’ll ever open up about it again. This is the first time I’ve ever typed about it. When I first turned 16 I kicked the habit of cutting , don’t remember how. I remember I had a secret stash of broken razor blades in a box and decided to just throw them away, to let go.. I used the rubber band trick and was proud at age 17 to be “fully” recovered. Lately I’ve been thinking about it a lot again and I’m afraid I may start again since I know I can get away with it .. I’ve been having anxiety really bad because my life has been too stressful for me. I have been going days without sleep and then sleeping all day, I can never stay focuses anymore and complete tasks, I don’t care but I do about having relations with family and friends anymore, I’m distant now and appear cold to others , I overeat then starve myself, I pick at my head and my heart beats rapidly for no apparent reason sometimes.. I feel like I can’t do anything with myself. I’m a failure in life. I can’t handle a job in public because I’ll break down, I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years and I love him but want to ruin us so I can be even more unhappy so I can starve myself so I can at least appear happy and skinny. I don’t know what’s wrong or what to do, I’ve seen multiple therapist and one psychologist that I actually liked but he asked me if I was ever molested and never went back. I can never follow through for myself. I am horrible taking care of myself also. I never thought I truly hated myself but now I’m not so sure. I can’t believe that I’m thinking if I cut myself. I’ll be able to finally sleep.. I really shouldn’t go down that road again it’s been 11 years free of that but idk what to do.. I won’t know I’m serious until I do it again. I hope I don’t . All I ask is for whoever sees this pray for me. Please pray for me because I feel so fake on the inside. I feel hollow. I just need some strength to keep away from old habits and prayer to get better

    • Proud of you for reaching out for help. Our HopeCoaches are available 24/7 to chat with you and help you get through this. It’s free and it’s private – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ I am praying for you. Please don’t give up. We also have a partner site where you can post prayer requests and prayer champions will pray for you, too. http://www.theprayerzone.com/

    • Amy

      Alice, I don’t know if you’ll ever see this but I want you to know you’re not alone. A lot of what you said here is what I wish I could put into words and I have a lot of the same feelings in my life. I’m also 23 and just recently started self harming again and am struggling to fight it. I’m at the place where I know I need to talk to someone but don’t trust a therapist or psychiatrist either because of past experiences and where I currently live. Stay strong, know you’re not alone and reach out if you ever want to talk.

      • Alice and Amy, you can chat with a HopeCoach here at TheHopeLine about your struggle with self-harm. We are available 24/7 for you and it is free and totally confidential. We also have some really great resources to help you get through this. Just click the “chat now” button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. We care and we understand.

  • You have really been through a lot. You did the right thing by speaking out here and expressing your feelings. Talking about it with someone who cares can really help. HopeCoaches are available for chat 24/7 and we have resources to help you. Give us a try – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • WE care about you. Asking for help is the first step towards healing. Please chat with us on TheHopeLine – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We have resources and we can connect you with people who understand.

    • aidan leach

      thanks but I really don’t know if I can stay clean I have started smoking again it helps stop the urge but is this the way to go?

  • aidan leach

    I know how you feel and inside you are a happy person you just have to find him

  • aidan leach

    im here your past seems crap but its now that matters live your life to the full and the past wont haunt you you can speek to me 😉

  • aidan leach

    im 14 and i cut we can stop for eac oter i know how u feel

  • Beckett C.

    I struggle a lot with cutting so my girlfriend gave me some advice on methods she uses. One that I think helps a lot is to set time goals for yourself. Tell yourself if you can last one day, you can last two days. If you can go two days, try three and so on. I’m now one week clean and I plan on going two weeks next.

  • TS, What you describe is the euphoria that comes with cutting. That’s part of the addiction. It’s important that you seek help as soon as possible. Would you chat with one of our Hopecoaches about this? We have an excellent resource that we can give you to help you. Talking about what you went through this past year will help as well. To chat with a HopeCoach go to http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  • Daniel

    Hi my girlfriend cuts, and im trying to help her stop, is there any good advise on stopping??

    • anonymous

      don’t yell at her or demand her to stop. let her know you are there for her and that you want to help her stop. Talk to her when she expresses the need to cut. Also don’t get mad at her if she relapses because it happens and she will probably already feel bad about it. I hope you can help her and be understanding with her and I hope she stops.

  • Some Universities have a free counseling office. Have you tried going there to talk to a counselor? It is important to talk to someone about your feelings and situation. You can chat with a HopeCoach from TheHopeLine anytime 24/7. We are here for you – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • Molly

    I am 13 and have a great life. I started to cut halfway through this year when i started getting really depressed and stressed out. I just a few weeks ago stopped, and i felt so proud. I hid my things and keep a rubber band on me at all times. I was doing fine, but today i heard a song that compelled me to cut. I forgot about my rubber band because i was alone and no one would know, so i grabbed a safety pin. The whole time i was like “no no no!” but i did it and REALLY regret it. I just wish i could go back and undo it. Does anyone have any tips on how to mentally stop? ( i still get urges to cut all the time, and mostly i don’t act on them but today I did. )

    • Molly, We hope you get some feedback from the community here. If you feel like you need some additional help with self harm…we have some great resources we can refer you to. A HopeCoach would be glad to listen and help you through this at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp.

  • tori skalski

    i am getting to the point i have to take 7 different meds and i am only 13 i cut so much cuz all i do is fight with my family and its soo bad i cut all over

  • Tori SKALSKI

    i am 13 and i take 7 differnet pills for what i have and i cut myself soo much its gets to my chest and had to beath

  • makwn

    I cant stop i tried all of them none o . them worked helps any other ideas? I NEED THEM DESPRETLY!!😓😓

    • Have you downloaded our free eBook about self-harm? It has real stories and even more help in it. Here is the link – http://info.thehopeline.com/selfharm
      And please chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7. We have some additional resources to help you. There is hope. 🙂

  • Jenn

    I’ve never shared how I feel on a website before. I’ve always felt like my problems and stress don’t matter in the bigger picture. I just feel so worthless sometimes. I haven’t cut for months but the urges are getting stronger and I feel like I’ll lose my mind if I don’t self harm. I feel like I’m never good enough at anything I do and I always feel hated, when deep down, I know that someone must care about me. It’s just tough to stay strong sometimes. Normally, I write music when I feel this way but I can’t find any inspiration at the moment. There’s no words that I can place on these feelings. I’m just so tired of everything sometimes but I can’t off myself and I can’t self harm whenever I want to because it’ll hurt my mom. She was just in my room a few minutes ago asking if I was safe and it tears me apart when I lie and tell her that I’m fine while I think about grabbing a razor. She knows that I’ve cut before, but I wish she didn’t. Every time I have a break down, she threatens to take me to the hospital, where they’ll see me as “another depressed teenager” and not for who I am or what I’ve been through. I can’t call a friend because I’ll end up scaring them. I just feel like there’s no one to help me fight this battle. The friends who I used to go to ignore me now because of my “moods.” It sucks that people don’t understand that depression isn’t a switch that can be turned off. I have to say though, it does help me to know that there are other people out there that feel like I do. I’m grateful that there are other people who know how I feel.

  • Katharine

    Thank you so much!! This may help me =)

  • Jenn Harry

    I’ve had depression for a few years now. I am in my sophomore year of highschool and upon starting this school year, I was feeling so positive. I was in the marching band, the drama department, and I was in an AP class along with another honors class. I know I have it good at the moment. I was so hopeful this year that I could forget everything that has happened to me and my family over the last six years. I won’t go into the details. All I know is that I’ve been feeling so strange lately. Normally, I get a huge mental breakdown every two months or so and then I’m pretty much okay. I still have off days, but otherwise, I don’t have suicidal thoughts or intentions. But this last month, all of the bad feelings and thoughts have come back. They’re not full force, but they’re always there at the back of my mind. I’ve been having urges to cut myself again after being clean for nearly a year. Just a night or so ago, I thought about popping pills and ending it, but deep down, I don’t think I truly want to die. It’s like there’s this other half of me that takes over sometimes, and when it’s present, I feel like I’ll go insane. At this point, I’m just scared. My mom knows that I’ve self harmed, because we dealt with the same thing with my older sister. After I first cut, I went straight to my mom, and I’m so glad that I did. But now, after being clean, I’m scared that if I relapse, I’ll hurt her. It hurt me so much to watch my sister as more and more scars and burns appeared on her arms, and I know that it must have put my mother through hell to watch her child deteriorate from self harm and drug and alcohol abuse. My sister is sober now, and, unlike in our childhood, we now have a great relationship. I love her so much and I don’t want to let her down by self harming. It’s just so hard to resist the urges sometimes. I need control and I need to get rid of my anxiety. I’m literally shaking as I type this. All I know is that I’ve been feeling out of it for the last month and that needs to change so I can forget everything that’s happened. Most of the family drama has passed at this point and I think I’m scared that something terrible is going to happen again. I’m also scared of getting nightmares again. I used to get them daily as a result of witnessing a traumatic event involving my brothers, and those nightmares made me want to kill myself so I could avoid them. I was scared to sleep and it was a struggle to persuade myself to go to bed each night. I can’t go back to that. I don’t think I could take another horrible event without losing my mind. I just want to feel like my normal self again.

  • anonymous

    I am sixteen years old and I started cutting before my junior year of high school. I have not been doing it for long but I already have a lot of scars. I truly started self harming about two years ago. I would bite myself. I would bite so hard I would leave marks for hours. But I got my braces off and biting stopped hurting. I was driving home and I broke a spoon and just dug it into my skin the first time I cut. The last time up to this point was yesterday. I have been having really bad panic attacks and last night I was shaking for an hour before I cut. It just calms me down and helps me breathe. It is a horrible coping strategy I have developed and I really want to stop. My parents know. My mom saw it because I took my bracelets off one day and she saw them. I lied to her at first but eventually I gave in. When she found out, she told me I was just doing it to seek attention She doesn’t know that I still do it. But I really want to stop. I was talking to a guy I have known since I was six months old. He moved to Texas and we only talk over text and snap chat. I was just sending him a picture of the floor but he saw the blood dripping on my arm. He figured it out pretty quickly and told me “I need to stop.” I know I do and I am trying. I hadn’t cut in a month and a half before this incident. Today I told him I need help to stop. He is going to help me. What really got through to me was him saying “I will be better when you stop.” I keep feeling like no one cares about me and that my “friends” aren’t really my friends. Even though we haven’t seen each other in three years, he still cares. I am going to stop but I don’t know how. I want to stop, I just don’t quite know how.

    • Thank you for reaching out for help. We are here to help you break the bonds of self-harm. We have trained HopeCoaches that will listen and connect you with a resource to overcome your desire to cut. Go to http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp to chat with a HopeCoach anytime.

  • SmileyTheFakey

    I started cutting when I was nine. I had stopped for a month. But just recently I had the worst panic attack at school. I had nothing to cut myself with. I broke a glass bottle and cut myself with the edges. I don’t even know what to do anymore. My arm is covered with scars, and so are my thighs. I always wear jackets and long sleeves but I just can’t do it anymore.

  • Storm

    Hi. My friend is only 12 and she has the urge to cut herself and I don’t know what to do to help her.
    On the other hand I always feel the need to cut myself but I never have (I’m 13 btw). The most prominent though is suicide and I have attempted it four times. I fake my smile every day and lie almost the whole day about how I feel. I had anxiety which I went to go see a theripist and they though I was cured but it hasn’t gone away. My whole family is christian and they think I’m fine and I have no problems, I was and sort am christian but god hasn’t talked or done anything for the past year and I can’t even feel any hope.. It feels like there’s nothing left to live for apart from my parents and my friend.

    • You sound like a really good friend. You can chat with a HopeCoach about how to help your friend and also about your anxiety and depression. We care about you and we are here to help you. Just click on the “Chat Now” – https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/

    • A Friend

      Wow. I am so sorry but I want you to know there is always something to live for. I am also sort of a Christian and I have had the same struggles as you with God feeling like he is really there for me. I am sixteen and I cut. I have been trying to quit and I have for periods of times but I always go backwards. I have contemplated suicide but I am trying to convince myself that we are all here for some reason. I think we are and I am trying to get back to my faith. Sometimes it helps to talk to Him because it feels like someone is there. I really hope you find your reason to live for yourself. I am here to if you want to talk. Thanks for sharing your story.

  • Darian Clark

    I am 14, i cut my thighs and just started to cut my wrists I don’t know what to do anymore I’ve been trying to stop but everything i do don’t work. I’ve only been doing it for a short while but somehow it seems to help me feel. I just don’t want to hurt my loved ones anymore i just want to get better. Can anyone HELP?

  • kellie

    i miss cutting. i dont have much to say. just its been about 2 months and i miss it. im sorry

    • Ryan The Neko

      thats fine, really.i was clean for a year, i missed it but being clean is a huge step from beaing stray from the addiction of self harm. 2 months is a lot. Good Job!

  • Sophia

    I Have A Friend Who Cuts And I’m Trying To Help Her Quit. Any ADvice?

  • Emily zambrano

    I feel like know one cares about me anymore that I’m not needed. I’m the middle child I have a smart sister and a little brother whose 10 months younger than me . So why do they need me they already ignore me. The only thing that likes me in this house is my dog. My parents are always fighting and I use cutting as an excuse to get away from problems. I have depression and sucidal thoughts. It’s just m done. Can’t take the pain anymore. I’ve been bullied and called names and how can I be Ok if no one . I’m going down the wrong path and theres no one to stop me anymore from doing the wrong thing my name is Emily and I’m fourteen

    • A Friend

      I understand how you feel. I too feel like no one cares about me and I have been using cutting to escape my problems. But sometimes people can surprise you. I had a friend who I haven’t seen in six years because he moved to Texas but he saw my arm and he cares. I was shocked. There is someone that always cares and I care. I am here if you want to talk. Please know that people care and that eventually things have to get better.

  • Ryan The Neko

    Recently, i found out i might be bipolar.. i instantly fell into depression, i cut almost everyday and my friends know that they cant help me through it.. i’m too far gone to realize how twisted my self harm is, i wear sweaters all the time just to hide my scars. i was clean for a whole year but then this just hit me. it hit me just like my parents used to hit me, it hurt and burned like my scars, i was so used to being abused and bruised that i cut just to feel like i have purpose, but this website really helped, i know people who go through self harm, i sent the link to the website to my friend, and i told her we can get through this together… and i know i’m probably too far gone to help, but these are some really helpful things that could have saved me from my self harm. And i don’t really know if i can recover, but i just might. if i do reover, i will be sure to come back and tell you how i’m doing -Sincerely, Ryan

  • Ryan The Neko

    People care, you should know that. i feel how you feel. but people care, if you suggest ways they can help you, they just might get you through all this, and if you do, you could finally learn to have a smile that is’nt fake. -Ryan

  • Brianalyn

    I’m 13 and I just started to cut and its scary and everyone around me is trying to help but it makes things harder for me when they are all saying that i just need to not do it because I know that they don’t understand how hard it is to stop. Does anyone have advice on how to best explain it to them?

  • Stephanie

    I have depression, and i self hamr. I went a month with out cutting and now im cutting again… 🙁

  • Some one

    Hi, I’m 14 almost 15. I just started cutting last summer but it has gotten worse and I can’t seem to stop, I need mess but I’m scared to talk to my mom about it please help what should I do?

    • I am so glad you posted here and are reaching out for help. My daughter struggled with this, too, at about your age and I was so thankful she opened up to me about it. We were able to talk about other things she was struggling with, too. I imagine your mom would want to know so she can help you. The two of you could read through TheHopeLine® eBook together about self-harm and that could help you talk about it together. Also, you can chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 by clicking the “chat now” button. It is confidential and it is free. Some of our HopeCoaches have even had similar struggles, so they really understand. You are not alone.

  • Random

    I’m gonna be 24 this year, and recently I got this strong urge to cut myself. The reason is because I want to, it’s like an escape, a way to hide what I’m feeling emotionally and to punish myself. Suicidal thoughts and running away is another option of mine. Honestly what I feel is that i crave for the love of a family too much. I tried too much. So whenever I have an argument with my siblings or parents or whenever I made a mistake and my family members including my parent’s will treat me coldly hurts me. The thought that my dad will have a bad impression of me is what I worried most. I don’t want him to see me as a bad daughter, a useless one, a burden. I came from a big family, I’m the youngest. The age gap is big, I’m not close to either one of them. It feels like whenever I made a mistake, it’s always a big issue. I was told I can’t do things properly and always doing it halfway even when I honestly forgot about it. Then when one of my siblings made the same mistake, they aren’t told off by my parents or anything. I think it’s unfair. I tried my best to do what I can at home, most of the chores I’m the one who do it but yet complains never stop. I feel unappreciated. When I see my parents treat my siblings better than me, instead of feeling jealous, I wonder why do they treat their children like that when they too go through unfairness in their family before. After reading through some articles,I guess I’m lucky that I haven’t start cutting myself as it might be an addiction later on. But the urge is there, I’m finding it hard to get rid of it. There was once where I argued with my mum. And the fact that my mum just listen to one side of the story and never listen to mine and scolded me drives me crazy. I started crying out loud and I took my laptop battery and hit my head for quite sometime till one of my siblings ask me to stop. I guess I’m too sensitive. Its exhausting and a burden. Life is already tiring itself. I find myseld question what is life. I hope this doesn’t come out as self pity. I don’t want people to pity me. I’m sharing this because I feel I need help. I need help to gt rid of this feeling before I really start doing it.

    • I am so glad you are here reaching out for help. That’s a lot you are going through in your family. Family relationships can be hurtful at times, but thankfully you don’t have to be stuck there. We are here to chat with you, to help you work through these relationships, and to help you find a way out. We will listen and we have resources to help. We are here 24/7 – simply click the “chat now” button.

      • Random

        What should I do. The urge is still there. Kept imagining that I cut myself and maybe I would die. Imagining my dead body lying on the bed. The shock or nonchalant reaction from my family members. I’m thinking is for the best, less burden in the family. The only one not earning at home. Nobody would be complaining about me to my dad. Less stress for him. Im a coward isn’t it? Trying to run away from problems through the idea of suicide and running away from home and cutting myself just to feel better. How should I face these cold treatments whenever I made a mistake at home. Im afraid of feeling hurt from the words that come out of their mouth. Im trying to avoid it. There’s this feeling in my chest where I’m burying it deep down. I dnt wanna find out

  • s_ Nasu

    please help, im 15 and i have started cutting since i was 12. i hate disappointing people, and people keep making me snap, i need help, it’s like a black hole that wants to eat me up and i feel like i’m going to explode, i cant talk to anyone cause no one understands people who knows just tell me to stop they dont say anything right. and its sad that even the people i live with never notices any of the cuts, and when they do they just say dumb things that makes me angry and i snap so easily please just help, i want to stop it.

  • Shaylene jp

    I’m 13… I’ve been cutting for over a year but I haven’t been able to find one solution. All this stress and I can’t bring a razor to my skin anymore makes it even worse. Idk what to do and none of these work for me I’ve tried a lot of them. Guess I’m not only a dissapontment to My family but to myself as well

    • You are not a disappointment to us here at TheHopeLine. We understand struggles, hurt, and disappointments. We are here to listen and to give good advice about how you can move forward. There really is hope! Please chat with a HopeCoach. Just click the “chat now” button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  • Robby White

    Im 14.. I cut every day.. my parents know, They dont care. Im not no pills and im having suicidal thoughts and i attemped suicide last night.. I have no friends to talk to. i cant seek consoling and that costs money. I am in a pit of depression and loneliness.. What do i do.. There is no hope for me..

    • That makes me really sad that your parents know about it and deon’t care. Here at TheHopeLine we do care! Please chat with a HopeCoach about how you are feeling. Just click the “chat now” button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp We are here for you 24/7. You are not alone.

      • Robby White

        I try to talk to hope coaches and they just direct me to the suicide lifeline thing. The lines are long and they always give me the same stuff. “we care about you robby, You are not alone..” IF I WASNT ALONE WOULD I BE ASKING FOR HELP OVER THE INTERNET????????????????????????????

        • Robby, I am really sorry that you felt that talking to the HopeCoach didn’t help. I saw that you chatted in about a month ago and it sounds like you are still struggling. I am sorry the HopeCoach did not get a chance to connect you with our partner, Door of Hope. This is their website – http://www.doorofhope4teens.org/home.html
          They have a cutting crisis line and specific help for teens struggling with self-harm. If you need help connecting with them please let me know. I think it has the potential to be a good support system for you.

          • Robby White

            I keep cutting and atempting suicide, No one would care if i killed myself! I have no friends and my family hates me
            Im hurting myself everyday

    • Jackie

      I just happened to see this, and I’ve been struggling a lot recently too. I just want you to know that you really aren’t alone, even when it feels like it, and if you ever want to talk we can. As far as what you can do, maybe find a distraction, something to do when you feel like that. For me drawing or writing helps. Also, there are apps like whisper, that you can post anonymously and talk to people. It’s really helped me through a lot of hard times.

      • Robby White

        but i have nothing.. No friends. No one who doesnt hate me

  • Robby White

    I attempted suicide.. No one cares. Im alone in a pit of loneliness and pain..

    • Riddle

      i feel ya. i care, man.

      • Robby White


  • Riddle

    i am 13 years old and i started cutting today. i am alonein this world. my parents and i mutually hate each other, i have no friends, and i am a bad person. i know i deserve to die, but still i have not committed suicide because i hope that anyone, anyone, will save me. it hurts too much tho and i am seriously depressed. please. save me.

  • maddie

    I’m 14 and I did cut for 2 years and ive been cut free for 4 mouths and I have never told anyone about it and ive been really wanting to do it lately I know I need help I really want to tell my mom but I’m just to scared shes already really stressed and I don’t want her worrying about me but I fell like if I don’t tell anyone its going to get worse and I’m going to end up cutting

  • arianna nicole baker

    Joshua Gatti
    What you said really did kinda have an impact on me. I always wear a sweat shirt, long sleeve shirt or multiple hair ties on my wrist to cover my cuts up. I started cutting when i was 11 and I’m now 14. I still get the urge to cut sometimes but always find a way to stop myself.