Resisting the Urge to Cut Yourself

In my blog, "How to Quit Cutting for Good", I talked about 3 alternative coping strategies for self-harm: Talk it out, wake up to your actual feelings, and seek God. 

Once you decide you're committed to stop cutting, you will find out what a struggle it is to go sober and stay free from this horrible addiction.  Even as you are beginning to recover, you still will feel the cravings to cut again. You are going to need to be prepared to know how to deal with those powerful urges. Here are some practical ideas to help you or someone you know be set free.

Stop feeding the cutting monster - wait it out

Every urge you have to cut will go away in time, but only if you don't act on it. Each time you act on your urge to cut, you're making that urge stronger kind of like feeding a monster. Each time you feed the addiction, the more likely you will feel the urge to cut the next time you feel the same emotional pressure. The more you stand against the urge, without giving in, the more your urges will decrease.

Distract yourself from the desire to cut

One of the best ways to stop cutting is by distracting yourself with someone or something else. This will allow the moment to pass when you're feeling the deep cravings to cut and get your mind off of it. It's impossible for your mind to think about two things at the exact same time. Here are some ideas on how to do this.

  1. Call a friend or meet them in person. Talk about what's comfortable for you. The key is to keep talking.
  2. Take a shower. This will help invigorate your body so physically it too is distracted. (Make sure there are no razors in the shower).
  3. Exercise Walk, run, ride your bike, climb, swim, do yoga, etc. While you are exercising, your mind is more likely to think about something other than cutting.
  4. Play with a pet. Take your dog for a walk.
  5. Watch television or a non-violent, healthy movie.
  6. Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of water or a cup of hot chocolate.
  7. Listen to positive music. It will definitely help to change your mood.
  8. Write in your journal. Learn to express your feelings through writing.
  9. Create art or some kind of creative hobby.
  10. Volunteer somewhere like a nursing home, or a hospital. In fact, getting a job will help as well. Some people cut out of sheer boredom.

Natalia put it this way: I still fight the urges, but the way I deal with it is by writing in my journal or talking to my best friend and boyfriend who are currently helping me through this.

The point is: Find something else to do. If none of these ideas are possible at the moment, try finding a substitute for the cutting sensation.

  1. Rub an ice cube on your skin, instead of cutting.
  2. Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when you feel the urge.
  3. Draw on your skin with a red marker or food coloring in the place you would normally cut.
  4. Put temporary tattoos in the places you have the urge to cut.

Angel said rubber bands have helped her. I've learned that snapping them against your wrist takes away a little bit of the amount to want to cut yourself. Ali said the key for her was she needed something physical to feel like she was still alive, that she was OK. So, I mark a little pink heart on my calendar for every day I don't cut...and believe it or not it helps. Help is possible and stopping is realistic.

Tell your story

The biggest problem with a cutting addiction is it forces you to focus on how YOU are feeling.  Stop thinking about yourself so much and focus on other cutters who need your help.  The more you can reach out to others, encouraging them to find better ways to express their feelings, the better you will be able to resist your own urges. Courtney said: I'm proud to be able to tell people my story of overcoming my self-destructive behavior. Every day is a struggle, but I always choose to find hope in the darkest situations and fight the urge.

Think About your Future without Cutting and Self-Harm

You have an incredible life ahead of you, filled with many, many years of potential joy and time with people you love, and who love you as well. Think about what you'd like your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years, and start taking steps to move forward in that direction.

Abby is 25, and she sees hope in her future: If I don't stop cutting, then a lot of the things I want aren't going to work out the way I dream they will.

Cyndal said: I thought about when I have children, and they see the cuts and scars on my arms, and they ask me, 'Mommy what are those booboos on your arms?' That really made me think, 'WOW, what would I tell my children?' And it made me cry for a really long time"

I want to encourage you to be strong like Amanda. She said: It's a challenge every day, but I am fighting to not cut, because I know that my life can be really awesome, and cutting does not fit into that picture. When you feel your emotions building up, remember you now have alternatives to self-harm. Get self-help by talking to someone who cares.

Be strong. There is tremendous hope for you!

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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297 comments on “Resisting the Urge to Cut Yourself”

      1. Kara I understand what u r going through, its hard I get that, but I have learned that my life would be so much better without cutting.

  1. I'm 13 and I am on depression meds. I self harm and have tried to stop... Every cut pushes me further away... I don't know what to do anymore... Does anyone even care anymore?

    1. I care. And I'm not a computer or any of that. I really have been in your position and on my bad days, I'm still there. But I care about you and your well-being.

    2. Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I actually do. You're not alone, please don't forget that. And I beg you to talk to somebody. It helps so much to get your thoughts and worries off your chest.
      I love you,
      Nicole.

    3. Im 15. Ive been cutting since i was 9, ive been on meds since i was 11, hun, if you just keep your mind to it, and keep trying, you'll get clean. I dont really have much room to speek, but every time i stop, i keep thinking about how i want to stop, and the time spand keeps getting longer and longer between each relapse, and hopefully I won't do it again soon. Just keep trying love.

    4. I was on Lithium and some other medications. Honestly, the medications made it worse for me. I had to take control of myself. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle with the concept of cutting every day, but the medicine didn't help so I stopped taking it. I just think of all the bad things that could happen if someone saw the cuts. I didn't care what would happen to me physically, but I cared about the other people. I cared about those around me. I stop myself by pausing and thinking, "what would happen if someone saw my cuts?" I can understand the thought that these are just fabricated responses recycled to help, but this is my personal response. I am actually typing this at work. You posted this eight months ago and probably will never see this, but I hope someone does and it helps them somehow. With all of the love and best wishes I can muster,
      -Joshua

      1. I'm "supposed" to be on lithium too but I feel like it makes it worse I haven't cut since January but I've still been getting worse but just like you it's the thought of "what if someone saw them" that is what stops me from cutting but it's comforting and unerving that there are others like me so thank you even if you never see this

  2. Hi Jenny,
    Cutting is a hard addiction to overcome without help. We have some resources and a great partner at TheHopeLine that could help you. How about talking to a HopeCoach at 800.394.4673 or chatting online with one at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp Here is a link to a resource page for self-harm that may help you too: http://thehope.dm/selfharmresources Here is a link to an eBook that will help you with ways to overcome the urge to cut: http://thehope.dm/selfharmebook Jenny, you are never alone in what you are dealing with. We are here to help.

  3. Everything is working out perfectly, i don't know why the urge to cut won't go away. It's like my body needs to feel the pain, i need to see the blood, i have to feel the pain, i can't go without it, i need to feel the relief, but nothing is wrong? Why won't it go away?

  4. I am 14 years old and currently stopping cutting..... but not fully. I wake up every day with the urge but I try to avoid it. Some of the littlest things can make me feel suicidal or depressed and I don't know if its a "teenage thing" or something. I just don't feel safe in my state of mind. I am getting help though and also, thank you so much for the tips.

    1. This is exactly how I feel so often. I actually went through anxiety that I was just messed up and weird. I never told any one about it. About my scars or the moments where my anxiety was almost too much to handle. It sucks to remember and know I could have gotten help much earlier. I am very glad you took the steps instead of the path I took 🙂

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