Dawson’s Blog

The Type Of Woman Your Brother Should Marry

 Dear Guys,

I am writing a very important blog post to you because it deals with picking the right partner for marriage. I believe the decision you make as to who you will marry is the second most important decision you will ever make. The first decision is the choice about your relationship with God. There is no more important decision than that because that decision will affect eternity. Who you marry will also greatly affect your sense of fulfillment and future. That’s why you don’t want to make a mistake in picking the right woman. 50% of all marriages end in divorce.

Who you will marry is the second most important decision you will ever make.

No one marries to get divorced. They don’t say, Well I’d like to go through the awful experience of getting divorced so I think I’ll get married.Everyone thinks they have found the right one when they marry. Of course, there are a lot of reasons for divorce. One big one is you married the wrong person, or you are the wrong person for the one you married. (By the way, I have some great advice for you to consider. Never date someone you know would not qualify as a potential marriage partner. You may end up thinking you are in love with the wrong person for you.) Finding the right woman to marry is serious business. You need to be attracted to the woman you marry (beauty is in the eye of the beholder), but who you choose to marry goes far beyond looks. It has to do with her character, who she is on the inside, qualities she will still have long after her beauty has faded. So what qualities in a woman would you choose for the person your brother or close guy friend would marry?

Every potential wife should be committed to her husband.

I found out, in my own experience, marriage is at least five times harder than I thought it would be. A successful marriage takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice. If you are not absolutely committed to making the marriage work, it doesn’t stand a chance.

Every successful relationship has to have a strong foundation of commitment.

In marriage, feelings come and feelings go, but loving someone by an act of your will can save your marriage. It’s so great when a guy knows his wife is committed to him (and him to her). I’d make sure [my brother] knew that trust is the cornerstone to all successful relationships. So any girl who falls into your area of interest and is trustworthy is a winner in my book any day. (Mark) Mark is absolutely right. Every successful relationship has to have a strong foundation of commitment. If the woman you’re considering marrying is not committed to you, get out of the relationship immediately.

Every potential wife should give unconditional love and respect.

There are people who stay in marriages out of a commitment to their vows, and yet their relationship can still be loveless. Unconditional love says, I accept you the way you are even though there are areas in your life you need to change.But, never marry a woman thinking once you’re married you will automatically change her. (This is also true for a husband.)

Many women do not understand most guys do have a sensitive side to them.

Your wife may change through God’s love and the circumstances of life, but this change could take a long time to develop. Instead, she should be the kind of woman who will encourage you to be all you can be. She should make him feel good about himself and make him want to become a better person because of her. (Melissa) Many women do not understand most guys do have a sensitive side to them. A wife who does her best to give unconditional love and respect will probably help him show her who he really is. She would be kind and understand that men do have an emotional side. (Shane) Marriage will bring out the good and bad side of you. You need the kind of woman who will not be a doormat, but will love you the way a husband needs to be loved (This is also true for a husband). You both will need God’s love in order to love each other.

Every potential wife should be the kind of woman you would want to be the mother of your children. 

In the end, there are very few things in life that are truly important. Those things most often have to do with relationships. That’s why most guys at one time or another dream of having a loving and respectful wife and children he can love and nurture. But raising children is a huge challenge. It is worth the work, but it is a lot of work. When a wife teams up with her husband to help raise their children in a positive and loving way, a healthy, happy family can come about. I would want her to be a good mother typebecause my brother would be clueless if it came to raising a family of his own. (Lauren) I have observed there is something about a woman that allows her to be gifted in nurturing her children. This gift of love and patience has nothing to do with whether she is sexy or hot. It’s whether she has the character to team up with her husband and make a difference in their children’s lives.

I have observed there is something about a woman that allows her to be gifted in nurturing her children.

Even if she’s not the most beautiful girl in the world, why do guys always consider the hot ones a good catch? Hasn’t anyone heard of middle class before? Where did the days go when it was more than justhow big a girl’s boobs are? (Julia) I totally agree with Julia. If having a beautiful body made a great marriage, there would be no divorces in Hollywood. A good wife comes in all shapes and sizes. What she has to offer her husband goes way beyond the physical, and right to the heart.

Every potential wife should do her best to get along with your family.

One of the most surprising things I learned when I first got married was how important inner-family relationships were to my marriage. All of us come from different styles of families and our families have a huge impact on what we believe and the way we act.

It takes some adjustments to be able to relate to someone else’s family in a loving and meaningful way.

It takes some adjustments to be able to relate to someone else’s family in a loving and meaningful way. It’s not nearly as easy as it looks. If your wife is a loving person and can somehow adjust to your family who may be far different than hers, you will save yourself from a lot of arguments and pain (This applies to a husband too). The girl must get along with [my brother’s] friends and family. Not like be best friends, but be comfortable and like spending time with his family/friends. (Sammi) 

Marriage is such an important decision.

 The wisest man in the Bible, King Solomon (one of my favorites), said something that’s oh so true: A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. It’s true. A good woman is hard to find. There are plenty of pretenders, but few who are the real thing. That’s why every guy should slow down, get good advice, and ask for God’s help before getting married. I want to end this blog where I began: Who you marry is the second most important decision you will ever make. Make that decision very wisely.

If you are a girl/woman, I want to encourage you to work on being the kind of woman you would want your brother to marry.

Your friend,

I read all your comments and put some of them in my blogs.  So please help me.  Together, we can write some pretty cool blogs.

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
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  • Tank u, i love the best of ur saying about solomon in the bible

  • Am happy about this topic a wife ur brother have to marry, it was so nice and educating peaple

  • Lindsey Strangth

    This is another good blog Dawson! I like to relate to what your saying, so here I go..

    My fiance’ and myself come from opposite backgrounds. He lived a flawless life with good relationships with his family and always ended up with a good set of friends. With me on the other hand, I’m the one who lived in a hurricane in the depths of hell (so to speak) As of right now I don’t feel any pain from it, because I have a very strong bond relationship with God and he heals me.

    since I met my fiance’ I been trying to be better. I’ve had my problems and issues the debris left over from my past, but I spoke with God when I was still in the mindset of it all. I told him how I felt and how I felt towards him. I knew we needed to speed it along. It meant that much to me, because I wanted to impress him and I didn’t want to be in a maze in my head anymore. God’s helped me along rather quickly and I’m getting healed sooner than later, because marrying him means that much to me, only because we belong. I know it with no doubt.

    I dunno I know i’m a female, but I don’t really classify myself under the stereotypes. I’m just me.

  • If you take your life you will be causing a wreckage that she will have to deal with the rest of her life – your children’s grief and pain will break her heart even more. Please don’t give up. Work at loving your wife well and being a wonderful father to your children. Get counseling, be proactive, do what it takes to really change. Read Joel chapter 2 and be encouraged – “I will restored to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…” There is always hope.