Here Are 4 Ways To Get Along With Your Parents:
- Take responsibility for your role in your family.
- Understand your parents are God’s tool in your life.
- Learn to follow their advice.
- Spend time with your parents.
I have been blogging on the extremely important topic of how to get along with your parents. So many teenagers and young adults live their lives in total chaos, mostly because of the volatility of the relationships they have with their parents. Every person deserves to have a place of love and safety in which to learn and grow to understand love and life. Tragically, this isn’t the case for many. Regardless of how good or bad your relationship is with your parents, there is always room for hope of improvement. I hope you read these blogs and receive some practical advice on ways you can help to get along with your parents.
The next thoughts I have might actually be the most difficult, but could bring about the biggest amount of change in the relationship you have with your parents.
Show Love to Your Parents
It is not enough to simply feel love for your parents; you need to express it.
Everybody wants to be loved and appreciated. Your parents are no different. They need to know you love and appreciate them. It is not enough to simply feel love for your parents; you need to express it. When you express your love and gratitude for all they have done, you are telling your parents you care for them deeply. Your gratitude and love will have an incredible impact on your parents.
Someone anonymously commented to me: I admit that I don’t always get along with my parents, but I make every day I see them count so I can go to bed and say to myself that I helped them in some way…it’s the least we can do in return after they gave us life.
Another way to love them is by accepting their position of authority in your life. For many of you, though, it’s not always clear who the authority figure is in your home. But whatever living situation you may be in, there is someone who has parental authority over you, someone you need to respect and honor.
I understand this isn’t easy. You might be thinking your parents don’t deserve to be loved or appreciated. When you make an effort to treat them with love and respect, regardless of how you feel you are being treated, God will honor your efforts. You will be glad you did.
When you make an effort to treat your parents with love and respect, regardless of how you feel you are being treated, God will honor your efforts.
Rachel sounds like she understands this powerful truth: I get along with my parents really well. Sure we have our rough moments, but I love them so I have a desire to obey them even more. Our parents prepare us for the real world and how to get along with others. For those who do have problems with their parents, love them unconditionally. It is super hard, but God tells us to.
Seeking and Giving Forgiveness
You will never be who you are intended to be until you forgive your parents for the hurts they have caused you.
No doubt your parents have in one way or another deeply offended you. You will never be who you are intended to be until you forgive them for the hurts they have caused you. Most likely, there are also times in your relationship with your parents that you have disappointed and hurt them. Maybe it was a lie, or a broken promise, or mean words said in a fit of anger. Whatever it is, it’s important for you also to seek their forgiveness. You are saying to them, I love you and I don’t want there to be hurt between you and me. I care enough about our relationship to want it to be the best it can be. I love you.
Only when you understand how you’ve been forgiven and are willing to forgive those in your family can you be free from the pain, abuse and heartbreak caused by your home life. Basically, forgiveness is a process in which by an act of your will, you yield your rights to get even with someone who has wronged you. (Read my blogs about forgiveness here) When you forgive, you let go of the negative emotions that control you. If you don’t forgive the people who have hurt you, you are only asking for a life ruled by bitterness and rage.
Remember, you don’t have to carry it all alone.
Amy has some good advice: When I was growing up and my family was having hard times, I did two things: I prayed and I wrote. I prayed to God to give me the strength to get through the tough times, to help me not be so hostile, and to be the best I could be in every aspect of my life no matter what was going on at home. I am a natural writer so I wrote about my feelings. I wrote about my day, I wrote about how I thought others feel, I just wrote to write. Both things help a lot to get through tough times.
If you are having difficulty in your relationship with your parents, these blogs are designed to help you. But you may still need one-on-one personal advice and communication on your specific family situation. Get advice from others on how to make peace with your parents. A pastor or school counselor would be a good place to start. Find someone you can trust to talk to about what’s going on at home. You may want to talk to someone at my Hope Line (800-394-HOPE). Remember, you don’t have to carry it all alone.
NEXT WEEK: I realize when I say this there are literally tens of thousands of parents who are deeply troubled and dysfunctional. Sometimes parents are downright abusive and require you to take drastic measures to protect yourself. I’m going to write about this next week: How To Live In An Abusive Home. Please send me the advice you’d give to someone living in an abusive situation. How have you dealt with abusive parents or family members? What has helped you get through tough times in your home? I look forward to hearing from you.