How to Stop My Ex From Turning My Parents Against Me?

Drake’s parents have pretty much turned their backs on him since he broke up with his girlfriend. She’s feeding them lies and they believe her.

Drake's Question:

Drake: I used to be on drugs, and suffered from alcoholism. I got my life straight and started growing in faith. Then I started dating a girl at my church and things just went crazy and we broke up. She got real close to my parents in the process. And when we broke up, things kind of went topsy-turvy in my household. As in…, my parents started… they were pretty much mad at me about it.

Then I started dating this other girl, and the ex-girlfriend started telling my parents all kinds of rumors or whatever about her and my parents are believing her. But yet, I have other trustworthy sources telling me that what she’s telling my parents are all lies. My parents have pretty much turned their backs on me about it and aren’t supporting my decisions in any way. I don't know what to do as far as that, because one of my friends has offered to take me in, if I felt the need to leave my household. I'm not sure what to do about my parents.

Dawson McAllister's Answer:

Dawson: Well, all you can say to them is, “I love you. I'm committed to you. You've been great to me. I know I've put you through a lot of stuff, but it's time for me now to move on, move out.” Don't break off your relationship with your parents. Just say, “It's time for me to move on.” What'll happen then is that the ex-girlfriend will have a whole lot less clout when you're gone. You can block her from your life.

Secondly, you can say to your parents, if she continues to work your parents, “Look, I love you. I'm committed to you, but in this situation, I just don't want to talk about this. There are two sides to every story and I'm attempting to grow up and I want to become strong like you are. When it comes to this ex-girlfriend, I'm over her and over it… don't want to talk about it. If you want to be friends with her, I understand. But meanwhile, I'm going on with the rest of my life, without her.”

In time, your ex-girlfriend will give up. Your parents will quit listening, and you can get on with the rest of your life. Meanwhile, though, remember you still have a lot to work through. I spend more time working through things and less time dating - that would help as well.

Clearly communicating the end of a relationship is highly important to a successful breakup. But what do you do if your ex won't leave you alone?

TheHopeLine Team
For over 30 years, TheHopeLine has been helping students and young adults in crisis. Our team is made up of writers and mental health professionals who care deeply about helping others.
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