A Good Friend Died by Suicide, Why Don’t I have Any Tears?

Levi sees everyone is completely devastated over his friend’s death by suicide, but he hasn’t shed a tear yet.

LEVI'S QUESTION:

Levi: Well, yesterday afternoon I was getting off work at about three o'clock and my good buddy called me and said, I need to run out to his house. He can't get a hold of his sister. So, I turned around. I'm about maybe a 30-minute drive from the house. I didn't think anything was bad. Maybe she had too much, partied too hard, passed out, and she couldn't get a hold of her phone. About halfway to the house, I got a call back from him. He said they'd found her hanging from a tree in the backyard. She had committed suicide that afternoon.

Dawson: Well, the answer to, “Hey Levi, how are you feeling?” should be, “I feel nothing but shock.”

Levi: Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. I don't even know. I see everyone else… I feel bad though, because it's family and all my closest friends. I see them all for the past day crying and completely destroyed and I haven't shed a tear yet.

Dawson: It’s alright. You are who you are, Levi, and you'll have your times of tears, out of the blue sky. They will come. One thing that I think will be helpful for you too - you have your wits about you so that you can be strong for others right now.

Levi: Yeah. So, that's the thing… me and her, we had a thing throughout high school. She graduated a year before me. During my first week moving into new school, she was the first friend I made. We dated for a little while and then just found out we were just better off as good friends, which was cool with us. It’s how we liked it.

I see people who just knew her, just saw a face around school and they're completely destroyed. The only thing I know to do right now is - due to the fact that it hasn't really hit me yet - I'm just kind of staying strong for the family. I'm helping out with everything.

DAWSON MCALLISTER'S ANSWER:

Dawson: That's all that you can do. Everybody reacts to shock and hurt in a different way. Levi’s is Levi. In time, you'll need to talk it out. You're very articulate. So, I assume that will be relatively easy for you. You get with a counselor or a Hope Coach and talk about how you really feel. It’s hard enough to lose a friend to death, but suicide is the worst. And I'm not going to lie to you, it's going to take a long time for you to heal. However, in your role of being a pillar, remember every pillar needs a pillar. So, don't shy away from getting the help that you're going to need to cope with this.

Want to help a suicidal friend? Here are ways you can help a friend who wants to die by suicide.

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