A Good Friend Died by Suicide, Why Don’t I have Any Tears?

Levi sees everyone is completely devastated over his friend’s death by suicide, but he hasn’t shed a tear yet.


Levi: Well, yesterday afternoon I was getting off work at about three o'clock and my good buddy called me and said, I need to run out to his house. He can't get a hold of his sister. So, I turned around. I'm about maybe a 30-minute drive from the house. I didn't think anything was bad. Maybe she had too much, partied too hard, passed out, and she couldn't get a hold of her phone. About halfway to the house, I got a call back from him. He said they'd found her hanging from a tree in the backyard. She had committed suicide that afternoon.

Dawson: Well, the answer to, “Hey Levi, how are you feeling?” should be, “I feel nothing but shock.”

Levi: Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. I don't even know. I see everyone else… I feel bad though, because it's family and all my closest friends. I see them all for the past day crying and completely destroyed and I haven't shed a tear yet.

Dawson: It’s alright. You are who you are, Levi, and you'll have your times of tears, out of the blue sky. They will come. One thing that I think will be helpful for you too - you have your wits about you so that you can be strong for others right now.

Levi: Yeah. So, that's the thing… me and her, we had a thing throughout high school. She graduated a year before me. During my first week moving into new school, she was the first friend I made. We dated for a little while and then just found out we were just better off as good friends, which was cool with us. It’s how we liked it.

I see people who just knew her, just saw a face around school and they're completely destroyed. The only thing I know to do right now is - due to the fact that it hasn't really hit me yet - I'm just kind of staying strong for the family. I'm helping out with everything.


Dawson: That's all that you can do. Everybody reacts to shock and hurt in a different way. Levi’s is Levi. In time, you'll need to talk it out. You're very articulate. So, I assume that will be relatively easy for you. You get with a counselor or a Hope Coach and talk about how you really feel. It’s hard enough to lose a friend to death, but suicide is the worst. And I'm not going to lie to you, it's going to take a long time for you to heal. However, in your role of being a pillar, remember every pillar needs a pillar. So, don't shy away from getting the help that you're going to need to cope with this.

Want to help a suicidal friend? Here are ways you can help a friend who wants to die by suicide.

TheHopeLine Team
For over 30 years, TheHopeLine has been helping students and young adults in crisis. Our team is made up of writers and mental health professionals who care deeply about helping others.
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