Chelsea’s been to rehab to help her to stop self-harming and cutting, but it’s come back now. How can she get rid of it again? Dawson discovers Chelsea has anger buried deep from her father abandoning her.
Self-Harming and Cutting
CHELSEA (SALT LAKE CITY, UT) QUESTION:
Chelsea: I’m tired and I can’t get to sleep.
Dawson: What are you worrying about?
Chelsea: A lot of things, like myself. I feel like I have another part of me that I don’t like. I’ve been cutting myself a lot lately. It used to be a bad habit, but then I went to rehab and got rid of it. But it’s coming back now and whenever I do it, I just don’t feel like myself.
DAWSON MCALLISTER'S ANSWER:
Dawson: I hear you're drinking a lot too. How much are you drinking?
Chelsea: Just usually on the weekends. I can’t get any alcohol during the week, so I do it on the weekends.
Dawson: If you could, would you?
Chelsea: Probably.
Dawson: Did someone sexually abuse you?
Chelsea: No.
Dawson: Where’s your father?
Chelsea: I don’t know.
Dawson: He’s not living at home?
Chelsea: No.
Dawson: You hate it, don’t you? He up and abandoned you, didn’t he?
Chelsea: Yes.
Dawson: And now you’re really angry. You don’t know who to lash out too. You’d like to lash out to him because he’s really hurt you, but he’s not around. Plus, you’d really like to meet him, find him more, love on him, and have him love on you because you’re hardwired for your dad, right? So, you can’t find him. You can’t tell him off. You can’t vent, so you cut yourself. And then you wait for the weekends to drown your sorrows. So, the very thing, the false feel good that you are using to solve your issues of rage, hurt, and abandonment are turning against you.
Chelsea: I’m just really worried. I really love living and everything. I’ve just got to stop doing what I’m doing. I’m afraid it’s going to ruin the good things that I have in my life.
Dawson: So, what you want is help, right?
Chelsea: Yes, but I don’t want to go to rehab again.
Dawson: Why?
Chelsea: Because I just don’t want to go.
Dawson: What happens if you don’t go?
Chelsea: I can probably stop myself. I know how.
Dawson: How? Chelsea, I’ve been trying very hard here. If you are not an alcoholic, you are begging to be one. You haven’t gone off the cliff yet, but you can see it from here. I’m trying to save your life.
You are not alone. Read Colleen's story about how she found the hope to deal with self-harm and now she's giving back.
If you or a loved one are struggling with self-harm, please check out our partner, Door of Hope. Their crisis care advocates provide free texting, email and phone conversations.
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