TheHopeLine: Supporting a Boyfriend With Mental Health.

Amber’s boyfriend has broken up with her so he can take care of his mental health struggles. Should she try to stick with him?


Amber: Well, a few weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me, right before our eighth month anniversary. He said that he had frustrations that he needs to take care of…because he’s got like bipolar and ADHD and stuff. And he didn't want to hurt me while he gets help or whatever.

Dawson: Is that working for you? How does that make you feel?

Amber: Well, I love him a lot, and I'm really sad about it.

I found messages and that he was talking to other girls saying that they were pretty, or whatever. He would visit me at my house, and he'll tell me that he wants to get back together, and then he'll kiss me. And then the next minute he tells me that I should move on and stuff.

Dawson: What'd you say he told you his issues where? He had what?

Amber: He has bipolar and ADHD and stuff.

Amber: My main question is like, should I stick with him? Or should I move on?


Dawson: Move on. He's told you reasons why he doesn't want to be with you…. maybe they're real reasons and maybe they aren’t. But he's obviously unstable. He's up, he's down, he's writing stuff on Facebook he shouldn't be writing. He says one thing to you one day, another thing the next. He's unstable, and you're on the rollercoaster… his rollercoaster, he's up, you're up, he's down, you're down. And this roller is wearing you out. We don't know how long it's going to take for the medication to get him stable, but at least he knows that he's not stable.

A - he told you that, and

B - he's proven it.

Question is - how much instability do you want to live with? It may be a blessing in disguise. He may have ended up driving you crazy. Yeah, it hurts now, but in a while, you'll look back and say, “Whew, I'm sure glad I didn't stay on that emotional roller coaster ride because he’d turned me every which way, but loose.”

What causes mental illness? Is it something you are born with? Find out more about the causes of mental illness.

TheHopeLine Team
For over 30 years, TheHopeLine has been helping students and young adults in crisis. Our team is made up of writers and mental health professionals who care deeply about helping others.
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