Dawson’s Blog

The Cruel Consequences of Suicide

The consequences of suicide are not just that one person is dead, that a precious life has ended. It is also a tragedy of epic proportions for the people left behind.

Woman at Grave side of suicide

If you’ve ever known someone who has died by suicide, you know there’s absolutely no question suicide is a horrific tragedy. Suicide is a horribly wrong answer to whatever problems we face. A person’s pain is very real and understandablebut there are healthy ways to deal with it. Suicide is not one of them.

The consequences of suicide are not only that one person is dead, it’s also a tragedy for the people left behind that goes on for many, many years.


The “You Hurt Me So I’ll Hurt You” in Suicide

Many Suicide Attempts are Brought on by Interpersonal Conflicts. These conflicts are used to Guy struggling with suicidal thoughts impact others.

It’s like someone is saying: You hurt me, now I’ll hurt you.I will make you pay for what you have done to me.They don’t love me now, but they’ll think of me when I’m deadMaybe you’ll learn a lesson, or feel guilty the rest of your life for how you treated me.This is irrational thinking of someone who is in a state of hopelessness and darkness. 

This is the irrational thinking of someone who is in a state of hopelessness and darkness. Click To Tweet

Tabi wrote:

My dad killed himself when I was 16. I am now 21 and still am haunted by questions like ‘Why and How could he do this? Didn’t he care about my family and me?’ I yearn to know the thoughts that went through his head when he was thinking about and finally made that choice. Knowing the suffering that suicide causes first hand to both friends and family has even saved me when I was seriously considering suicide.

If every person who ended their life by suicide could have just stopped and thought about the enormous pain their actions will cause, perhaps there would be far fewer self-inflicted deaths.

Anna had felt suicidal for several years:

Sisters comforting each otherWhat woke me up was my friend who killed herself. My sister told me that the pain I had from my friend’s [suicide] would be the pain that all my family and friends would feel. So it was kind of a guilt trip, but it saved my life.

People left behind after a suicide will wonder what they could’ve done differentlyliving with questions of shame and guilt the rest of their lives.

An anonymous blogger wrote about how thinking of his little brother saved his life:

How would it sound to say he never knew his big brother because he killed himself? So I lived and I am happy for it now because I can look back and say that I’m a survivor of a hugely difficult time that almost claimed my life!

God loves you and there are others who will love you if you reach out. #youmatter Click To Tweet
There are many reasons why a person should not kill themselves. I have dealt with just one of those reasons.  A person who ends their life by suicide thinks he or she may be hurting just one person, and if that person has hurt them, it’s worth it to get revenge.

They fail to understand they don’t just hurt one person, but many, many others.

It’s not worth it.

It’s never worth it.

Cheyenne wrote:

 Life may not seem worth living to you because you are having problems but I’m here to say it will not only affect you but your family and friends too. You have to stop and think of yourself  first, but also think of them too. I’m so thankful I’m still alive today!

People you leave behind will wonder what they could’ve done differently.

No matter what you are facing today, know that you are loved and worthy. Click To Tweet

So turn to those who will help you before you enter into the tragic goodbye. Just remember, God loves you and there are others who will love you ifGuy thinking about God's Love  you reach out. So that one day, you will be able to say, I stared at self-inflicted death, and courageously turned away. And I’m so glad I did.

I’d love to hear from you below about how you helped a friend, or how a friend has helped you when you felt suicidal.

I also have additional blogs on my website that may help you understand more about suicide: 

SUICIDE – 10 Facts You Need to Know

Why Say No to Suicide? 

What To Do When You Feel Suicidal

How To Help A Suicidal Friend

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.


Free eBook! Understanding Suicide from TheHopeLine®

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
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TheHopeLine reads every comment. The purpose of the blogs are to provide help through the content, stories, and struggles of others. If you are looking for immediate help please click on an option above.
  • someone who cares

    I have lost so many to suicide. If only these people could catch a glimpse of what life would really be like without them, maybe they would seek help. Until you have ever been depressed to the point of suicide you can not relate, judge, or determine what thoughts might be going through someone’s head. One may feel that they are so insignificant and so worthless that those they love would actually be better off without them. It is sort of a self-punishment for some. They can’t handle seeing those around them affected by their presents, so they should die. Sure, some may be selfish, but some are so brave. Some are hurting so bad that this may some like the only option. They are not in their right mind and do not know that help is available. I feel sad for those I have lost to suicide and wish they only knew how important they really were.

    • Lucy

      Sometimes those “loved ones” are the ones that hate you and are the cause of the psychological and emotional pain. Now, would they actually be in pain or relieved that their “disappointment” finally chose to take their own life? I mean, could you blame a person who never felt a single moment of connection with their parents? Some people are truly alone, and have no one to turn to.

      • Zara

        Ikr

  • TiredofLife

    I am in this position as well. And feel like you do. I don’t go out and am isolated. When I try to talk to those who are familiar, no one wants to know about it or hear. No one wants to sympathize or empathize. I listen to those I care about and support them. I am loyal and go out my way. I believe in respecting all living creatures. I believe in caring for people. People treat me bad because I am a woman. But I am a great friend, daughter, mother, wife. They tell me so. They love me for it. But when I need that support in return, they shut me out, tell me to get over it. I am 29 and have felt like this for my entire life. I been raped and abused and blamed and isolated and told to get over it. Or told I have character flaws. Since I was 13, I have been contemplating suicide. I have attempted it only to be hospitalized and told I am just doing it for attention. I am in therapy to fix myself so I can relate better in this cruel world. But I still don’t want to live in it.

  • daria

    My boyfriend of 11 years committed suicide on October 24th, 2014. A week later I found out that I was pregnant. I feel like I’m still in shock and I haven’t dealt with the reality of losing him. I feel very confused and lost. I don’t know what to do to help cope with this.

    • Pierre

      I grew up without my father. When I was about 16 I started showing the first signs of depression, by the age of 20 I was planning for the worst. Time went by, and things just got worse and worse. I hit rock bottom at 33, but I got better.. Recently, someone I love attempted suicide, and I cannot shake of the guilt of it being my fault, I could have been there for her more, but I wasn’t, and I fear that I’m falling again. The worst part is feeling that one is alone, that one does not matter.
      I just cannot begin to put myself in your shoes, nor in anybody else’s. What I can tell you, is that you are not lost, you have your family, your friends, your baby, and in the least of all things you have touched me. Time will help you find the way, let you see that you are already on it, that everything is going to be ok.
      You matter, all of you do.

  • ehh

    I think about suicide at least once a day … but I never tell anyone! Maybe one day I’ll finally go through with it. Living isn’t for everyone.

    • Yep

      I never talk about it either.
      The last thing I need to hear is someone whinging about why I shouldn’t do it!
      People refer to me as bubbly and happy.

  • TheHopeLine

    We want you to know that you are not alone. You are worthy and valuable to us and your brother. Think of him…what will he do without you in this world? We’re here for you and we truly want to listen to what’s going on in your life. Please never give up on this life. Call or or chat with a HopeCoach tonight. We are open 24/7 Call 800.394.4673 or you can chat with one of our HopeCoaches online at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  • Brenda

    Thanks for the encouragement. God knows how close I’ve come. It’s not that I want to hurt someone it’s exactly the opposite. My not being here in this world would eliminate at least one of life’s problems in the ones I love . Do not think of it as being selfish quite the opposite.
    How wonderful it would be to know that having just one day of being carefree and enjoy the simple things would at least make one day bearable,

    • TheHopeLine

      We want to encourage you to NEVER give up. We have some videos on our youtube channel of real people and their stories of hope – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgPnNnLRmlc Call or chat with a HopeCoach 24/7. We care about you!

  • No matter what you have done in the past you are still important! Please call TheHopeLine or login to chat with a HopeCoach. We care about you!!! http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • Darrin Mason

    Someone I was close to, albeit for a relatively short time, killed herself recently. The guilt I feel is that after I ended the friendship/relationship she tried to reach out to me and I wasn’t there for her. She killed herself on the same night I sent a reply to several previously unread messages saying I had met someone else. I will live with that forever. And I will forever love her and miss her x

  • bennjit

    I’m a male 26years old, I was previously in the Australian defence force, served for 5 years, at the beginning of my career maybe 8 months in I was sexually assaulted by 3 blokes on the way home. I layed there in the park after it not knowing what to do. Got home locked myself in my room for a week, shocked and confused” how could this happen to me, tough guy, always go gym, always friendly, never in a million years I thought this would happen to me. I got treatment after being AWOL. My family, friends doctors ,psychologists and psychiatrists all thought I was lying to get out from being awol, put me on pills, lost my posting and eventually got kicked out of the force. Since then all I have wanted to do was end my life, I have never felt more anxiety, depression and guilt ever. I put a smile on so I don’t have to put up with the struggle. I cry at night, my chemical balance is all over the place. I honestly know I don’t belong here anymore. I have lost hope. Who would care anyway after the way I was treated.

    Benn

  • Please don’t give up! There are other options you maybe haven’t even thought about. It can be really hard to think clearly on your own when you have so many things weighing down on you. We are here for YOU! HopeCoaches are available 24/7 for online chat – http://www.thehopeline.com/chat-now/

  • Moroni NZ Templeview

    It sounds like you are in great pain after all you’ve been through. Don’t worry about your brother and HIS family you gotta 99 problems and they aren’t 1. You have a LDS husband and 2 beautiful children I can feel their love already. If your husband not gonna honour the priesthood than get the president to give you a blessing. I’d kill to have kids of my own. Don’t worry about the lds who don’t like you God will hold them accountable.

  • Ben

    Not every person who takes their own life does it out of vengefulness. Sometimes you’re just in a lot of pain and just want it to end. Sometimes you don’t see (or actually don’t have) any other options. Sometimes you have a delicate scale with your pain on one side, and the pain to your loved ones on the other, and if that scale tips just too far in one direction…
    Suicide is NOT selfish. Tragic, yes, but not selfish. It’s your life, and you have the right to live or not live it.

    • Ryan Shuler

      THANK YOU! Finally, an honest post.

  • This is a video of someone who watched their friend die. She was helped through TheHopeLine. https://youtu.be/v2-f4M_Tj2A
    HopeCoaches are on chat 24/7. It is free and confidential. http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • Thank you for sharing honest truth. It is really important for everyone to connect. TheHopeLine is here for VERY real connection and support. We are available on CHAT 24/7. It’s free, private, and confidential. http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • Sometimes people don’t know how much they really are loved and needed. Some people are not good at showing that they really do care or sometimes they are unaware how depressed the person is. It is always good to talk to someone about your feelings. We are here for that, anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/

  • Ryan, I am really sad that this has been your experience. There are people who really do care about others and who care if someone feels suicidal and hopeless. Here at THeHopeLine® HopeCoaches are here to chat 24/7. We do it because we genuinely care and we have experienced depression ourselves or have a loved one who has. We don’t take this lightly. Click the “chat now” button and see.

  • Bob

    I second it

  • leeroy Jenkins

    i fear that they are dead my friend…

  • Someone who cares

    I know life can be hard, I lost my son Jason to suicide. If you think no one cares your wrong, I care… There are people around you that care. Take it from someone who is going thru the loss of a child, a brother, a mother. It leaves an emptiness in your heart and soul that no one can fill. I look to God for help. If you get into His Word it will help you too. I know it sometimes feels like there is just emptiness in your life, but God says that he will neither leave you or forsake you. All you need to do is call on Him for help…

  • A worried soul

    I just want to say that as a person who has frequent thoughts of suicide. Sometimes I really need someone to talk with me. I am always to skeptical of people and I am afraid, to give my identity or location. I wouldn’t want to be committed to a hospital, this always makes me worse. So every time I go though depression and suicidal thoughts, I suffer alone. I have been able to deal with it and get survive so many times on my own. Last actual suicide attempt was 6 years ago. I know that if I ever give into the thoughts again It wont just be an attempt. That scares me.

  • CASSIE

    I FEEL NOTHING I CARE FOR NOTHING .I WANT TO GO TO SLEEP AND NOT WAKE UP .IF I WAKE I WILL HANG MYSELF

    • Bill Dandrea

      hello cassie……..how are you?

  • Help

    I feel like the only reason why I am still alive today is because I don’t want to hurt anyone else around me.

  • Madeleine

    I’m 17 years old and my dad committed suicide two months ago. It was completely sudden and will never ever make sense to me. This is something I wrote to him the other day:

    A letter to my dad

    The pain hasn’t gone away, but the talk of it has grown quieter. The pain will never go away I realized. Because when you lose someone that loved you, that was there since the second you were brought into this world, that person becomes a little piece of you. Because the experiences in your life and every detail that has happened makes up who you are as a person and how you deal with things, and Dad you were there for so much of it. And now you’re just gone. And you had the control over that decision. And that’s why this hurts, it hurts all over the same way each day but nobody will ever get it. You would have gotten it dad. You lost your dad when you were 11 so why would you put me through this too. I wanted you to see me be successful. I want to sit in the car with you and sing Heroes and hear you say that I have a good voice and me kinda blush. I want to go through an hour of the day without thinking about you. When I think that I’ve thought about everything I possibly could, something else pops up in my head and the cycle starts all over again.

    I miss my dad. I don’t like how this weight is still so heavy on me, while it seems to have moved on for everyone else. It’s because no one knew you like I did Dad. No one knew how selfless you were to me, how proud I made you, how I got so much of who I am from your own awesome, fun self. Not only did I lose my dad, but I lost someone who cared about me like no other. Who lived 550 miles from me and still made sure he was the biggest presence in my life.

    That’s why this hurts. It hurts because he really loved me unconditionally. It hurts because it makes no sense to me on how you got to that dark place and it never will.

    I want to be super successful and happy and set myself up for greatness so I never fall into the stress that you got into over money these last few years. But then I also just want to relax and accept that this is the hardest point in my life. That there is nothing as low or horrible as this and it’s only been 7 weeks. 7 weeks. That’s nothing.

    And I’m trying my best to continue on but I just wish people could see how I am not a power human who can just brush this off. I”m a 17 year old girl who feels stuff and loves and hates and hurts. And I do have those moments where I feel so so up and so great and then I have those moments of horrible aching pain that makes me not able to function.

    And if you had changed your mind, if you had had maybe one less drink that night and instead of thinking too much about everything, you just brushed your teeth, turned off your lamp and went to sleep, then maybe this would have never happened and I wouldn’t have to be continuously having moments where I feel like the world is trying to break me into tiny pieces. But something got in your head, something that I will never be able to understand and you probably didn’t understand yourself, and that’s why you’re gone and there’s nothing I can do about that.

    I just have to keep moving forward and try not to let myself slip too far back.

  • Zara

    I’m 12 and have attempted suicide twice…