How to get along With Parents by spending time together and listening
Last week I started blogging about how to get along with your parents. This is not an easy thing to do because no one is perfect, including your parents. In fact, you have come to the realization your parents are in many ways flawed and have failed you many times. Nonetheless, as I said last week, I have yet to meet a teenager or young adult who is bitter toward his/her parents and still happy. It’s kind of like, do yourself a favor and learn to make peace with your parents.
Although family life can be a great source of disappointment and hurt, it is possible to deal with the pain and get along with your parents. Last week, I talked about how important it is for you to take responsibility for your role in your family, and also how you should understand your parents are God’s tool in your life. (Read last week’s blog here)
This week, I’d like to continue with two more thoughts that will help you transform the relationship with your parents.
- Learn To Follow Their Advice
When it comes to learning about life, you can greatly benefit from your parents’ experience and wisdom. There is no greater teacher than experience. Because of your parent’s age, and the fact they have more years of experience than you, parents usually have the God-given ability to identify the people, events, and circumstances that can greatly affect your life. Many times, they have already been through what you are facing and understand how to react to the situation. While it’s humbling to admit, every teenager and young adult lacks years of experience and therefore, do not have all the answers to life’s situations. Your parents’ wisdom can help you avoid all kinds of wrong choices that cause heart-breaking consequences.Samantha commented:I think the best way to have a good relationship with your parents is to respect their opinions even if you don’t agree with them. They have been through more of life and know more about the world than you do. They may not always understand your reasons, but they have a point to make, and you should listen to their views. Your parents can teach you a lot of things and keep you from a lot of pain, both physical and emotional, if you will keep an open mind and really think about what they are saying.
Nikki understands this truth, by having learned to listen to her parents. If you actually listen to what they are trying to tell you and not just blow it off, and think here we go again another lecture,’ then it will have more of an advantage to you. Your parents just want to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes they did. Even though every person is different, they don’t want you to be in a rut when you’re out of the house. They make you do chores because you have to learn that responsibility because Mommy and Daddy won’t always be there to clean up your messes. For once, listen to your parents and do what they tell you and see what happens.
- Spend Time With Your Parents
There was a survey taken a while back that asked parents what would you like most from your teenager. The answer was: I wish they would spend more time with me. Another survey asked teenagers and young adults what they wanted most from their parents. The answer was the same.Spending time with your parents, and learning to communicate with them, can actually transform your relationship. A girl called my show the other night thanking me for some advice I gave her over a year ago. She was having problems with her mother. I advised her to say this to her mother: Mom, I want to respect you and learn to love you so much. Let’s spend an hour everyday just talking. Her mother agreed. A year later, their relationship is awesome. She said to me, My mother is so amazing. She is my best friend.
Riah agrees: My parents and I have a great relationship. With my mom it’s the feeling of knowing that if I ever need to talk to her she’s there. Talking about everything that may be bothering me, whether it is a problem with school or if I have a question about anything, communication is key.
Spending time with your parents is a huge challenge, I know. Andrea commented about how difficult this is: I personally don’t have a good relationship with my parents because they are always working and I have a busy life myself. My parents don’t have any rules for me.
Most people have very busy schedules. But any relationship takes time together to grow. Spending time with your parents is so important that to neglect doing so hurts both sides. There is nothing that helps a relationship grow together more than being together. A wise teenager and their parents will find a way to spend time together. Drew has some very good advice for us when it comes to spending time with our parents: Find activities you and your parent(s) like to do and build off that mutual [interest].
Also, spending time with your parents will give you opportunity to talk to them. Someone wrote to me about how it’s vitally important to keep an open line of communication with your parents. My parents and I have had plenty of arguments, but somehow I can never stay mad at them. If they see that I’m depressed or something is going on, then they confront me about it. They let me know that they are there when I need them and try to make my days easier.
These two ideas we have talked about in this blog are simple, but life-changing. Remember no matter how difficult your parents may be, it is extremely important you do the best you can to have a meaningful relationship with them. It will be worth it.