Getting Over Your Ex is Not Easy
In This Episode:
You’ve been in a relationship with someone and now that relationship is over. You have ties to that person which are hard to break. Sometimes, it’s tremendously harder to move on from them than you thought it would be. If you’re having a hard time moving on from your ex, join me as I speak with Anthony, Jessica, and Keith, each of them trying to get over their ex! You might just find some advice that works for you as well.
I Can’t Stop Thinking About Her
Anthony’s ex-girlfriend told his current girlfriend he was cheating on her with her (his ex). His girlfriend believed his ex, so they decided to break it off and just be friends. But now, Anthony can’t stop thinking about her.
Anthony thought his relationship with his girlfriend was much stronger than it turned out to be. They had only been in a relationship a few months. It was hardly enough time for them to build a solid foundation. Every relationship is tested in some way. When their relationship was tested, it crumbled.
What Anthony’s ex did was wrong. No one, including Anthony needs their reputation trashed. But in the end, it became a blessing. It helped bring to light the trust issues his girlfriend had and his obsessiveness in their relationship.
They both had their reasons for breaking up and agreed they needed to be just friends. But, once Anthony realized the relationship with his girlfriend was truly over, he began to obsess. He became emotionally overwhelmed with what he could not have, which was her.
What he needed to do was go back over the reasons they decided to break up to begin with. All the reasons are still there. He should let his obsessive feelings go, even though he doesn’t feel like it. The sooner he lets go, the quicker he will stop obsessing over his ex-girlfriend. And the sooner he’ll be able to walk away completely.
He Broke Up with Me and I Didn’t Take It Well
Jessica’s boyfriend broke up with her but she knew there was still something between them. He started dating a girl 10 days after breaking up with her. Then a bit later, Jessica and he started having sex even though he was with another girl. Jessica said she’s still wants him so she’s willing to put up with being used. The problem is that whatever he’s saying to Jessica, he’s staying to this other girl. Whatever he’s doing to Jessica, he’s doing to his girlfriend as well.
So, many people know their relationship is over but they try to prop it up anyway. Most of the time it doesn’t work and ends up in a lot of heartache. In Jessica’s case, she tried to prop up her relationship with her ex with sex.
Jessica is shifting the blame and saying it’s okay for her to have sex with her ex, because this other girl took her boyfriend away from her. What she’s saying is, I’m willing to disrespect myself to get what I need which is feeling loved by him again.
Instead, Jessica needs to stop having sex with her ex so she can walk away with self-respect. Sex will not meet her deepest needs or bring her boyfriend back. Her ex doesn’t have the capacity to meet her deepest needs. He became tired of her before, and he’ll get tired of her again. People ask too much of their exes. They ask them to meet needs only God can meet.
If you want to know more about having a meaningful relationship with God, check out my podcast episode number 9. You can hear how Ronnie’s life was changed and how yours can too.
I Can’t Find Reasons To Move On
Keith feels stuck in a rut. He split up with his girlfriend 2 years ago. They were 6 months away from being married but things deteriorated and their relationship ended. Keith keeps thinking about what could have been if they hadn’t broken up. He said he can’t find reasons to move on.
If you are not over your ex after 2 years, something is wrong. What could keep him obsessing that long?
It’s because they became serious way too quickly. They were acting like they were married, but the relationship did not hold together. Once you start acting like you’re married, you’re in deep. It may be fun to act that way, but it causes a lot of pressure on the relationship. Slow down, the action will happen soon enough.
There is a common problem with people who can’t get over their ex:
- They are not remembering their ex the way they really were.
- They are remembering a fantasy of their ex.
- They keep the fantasy going by saving all the mementos of their ex.
It’s difficult to throw away memories of the past but Keith will continue to have a difficult time with his emotions if he doesn’t.
Walking away isn’t easy when you thought you were in love but in reality, you weren’t. It’s the truth that sets us free. It’s time for Keith to believe the truth his relationship is over so he can get on with the rest of his life. There is so much more to live for.
Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?
Just about everybody will walk away from an ex at one time or another. So many people living in the past, obsessing over something that wasn’t even a reality. Ask yourself, am I living in the truth or am I in a fantasy? That’s a difficult question to answer but if you can answer yourself truthfully then you can get on with the rest of your life.
Resources for Getting Over Your Ex:
- Take a look at my eBooks: Getting Over a Broken Heart and Understanding Dating
- Check out my blogs: 7 Sure-Fire Ways to Get Over Your Ex, Ever Heard of Love Addiction?, It’s OK to be Single, and When An Ex Won’t Leave You Alone
- Check out other’s stories about relationships: Bad Break Up and Unhealthy Relationships, Relationship From TheHopeLine, and My Relationship, Depression and Then Hope
- Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to the ThePrayerZone.com and check it out.
- Need to talk about your issues? Sign up for an Email Mentor, an online coach who will email you and come along beside you to offer support.
Would you consider doing something for me?
If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.
One last thing,
My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.
Join me for my next episode on gambling addiction. The love of money is so gripping, it can cause us to wander away from God and lead us into all kinds of trouble, where we have broken hearts with many sorrows. And we don’t just break our own hearts but also those near to us. In this episode I speak with Mike, Paris, and David each of them dealing with troubles, stemming from their gambling addictions.
Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!