Dawson’s Blog

How To Respect A Guy

respectOver the last couple of blogs, I’ve talked about how a guy can and should show respect to a girl. We had a tremendous response. It shows me girls are hungry to be respected and loved.

If you are a guy I know you want to be respected as well. I know that to be a fact, and it’s not just because I am a guy. But I’ve talked to hundreds of guys on my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, who deeply desire for their girlfriend to show them admiration and high regard. Ladies, here are a few things you should know if you want to make sure the men you know are deeply aware how much you love and respect them.

So How Does A Girl Show A Guy Respect?

Here’s our straight forward list:

To respect a guy, don’t play with his sexuality and drives

To respect a guy, don’t play with his sexuality and drives. Cause him to love and see you as a person, and not just as an object.
She doesn’t use her body to manipulate him. If you only take one thing from this blog, get this one. Girls, you have an incredible power to control guys with your appearance, simply because guys are driven so intensely by what they see when they look at a girl and the beauty of her body. To respect a guy, don’t play with his sexuality and drives. Cause him to love and see you as a person, and not just as an object. When you flirt with him you can easily appeal to his lust, rather than who he is as a person. Dressing modestly and refusing to be flirtatious, also shows your boyfriend you aren’t trying to attract other guys.

She Asks his Opinion

Every person wants to be respected. Guys in particular crave to be looked at as a leader–someone whose ideas are important. Guys want to know you are interested in what they think. He feels respected when you care about how he thinks and feels. Then when you take the time to listen, it’s even more powerful. He will feel deeply valued by you. Someone commented to me this week: If a girl asks a guy’s opinion, if he answers honestly (and preferably tactfully) with an answer she didn’t want, she needs to realize that he respected her enough not to lie to her, and she needs to respect his opinion, even if she doesn’t agree with it, and not get angry with him because of it.

Don’t try to put words in his mouth

If you try to put words into a guy’s mouth, you’ll only show him you think he doesn’t know what to say.

She is patient with him when he has a difficult time expressing himself.Many guys have a hard time communicating, especially their thoughts and emotions.

There are going to be many times he wants you to know what he’s feeling, but he is just going to need a little more time actually getting it out. Don’t try to put words in his mouth, you’ll only show him you think he doesn’t know what to say. You can however, repeat back to him what you heard him say, so you both are on the same page.

She encourages and supports him.

Guys easily feel belittled by girls. When you cheer on your man, you are breathing life into his soul. Telling him you believe in him and support what he is attempting to achieve is a very powerful way to show your guy you respect him. When he feels that support from you, the confidence you are pouring into him will help him to feel invincible. Someone once said, Behind every great man, is a great woman.Some girls are so stuck on their own needs they can’t seem to give encouragement and inspiration to the guys they know. So give a guy a gift he will never forget: the gift of encouragement.

When you cheer on your man, you are breathing life into his soul.

She doesn’t exhaust him with all the little details. It’s easy to want to make sure your boyfriend gets all the details of your life. He is interested in you, but he gets worn out easily if you bog down your stories with all kinds of extra details. Try to make it easier for him to process all the information you want him to know.

Cheer on your man to breath life into his soul. Click To Tweet

She knows she doesn’t own him.

She doesn’t demand he be there for her 24 hours a day. Just because the two of you may be dating, doesn’t put you in charge of his life.
When you let him have his own life, making his own decisions, spending time with his friends, it shows you respect him, and will make you more attractive to him.

Lindsey commented she knew her boyfriend’s time was limited with his working full-time and going to school full-time. I never tried to demand lots of time from him. Instead I would make him a meal and meet him between classes or on his lunch break at work. He really appreciated it, and I felt like I was respecting his schedule while still fitting in time to see him.

Showing respect to your boyfriend is the very best way you can show him that you love him.

She must respect herself.

There are many girls who are extremely insecure and are convinced they are not worth being loved or respected by others. So they end up sabotaging their relationships with guys because of their low self-esteem. They tend to be constantly asking their guy if they are still being loved by him. It’s very difficult for a guy to respect a girl who doesn’t respect herself, or see herself as worthy to be loved. Jonathan had some great thoughts I must include. A girl must also respect herself; if a guy desires to date her or even just be her friend, he must like something about her. By not liking herself, she is also saying that her friend’s and/or boyfriend’s opinions of her don’t mean anything to her. If she returns compliments with contradictory remarks, she is not respecting the guy’s opinion, or his attempt to respect her.

Girls, it’s valuable to realize how important this topic is in your relationship with guys. Showing respect to your boyfriend is the very best way you can show him that you love him. But it’s also true with all your relationships. May God bless you, as you give the men in your life a wonderful gift: the gift of respect. You’ll be glad you did.

Next week I’m going to blog on how to respect yourself. I need your help. Would you comment back to me on how you have learned to respect yourself. If you don’t respect yourself, tell me why. Your comments are greatly appreciated. Your ideas help me with my thoughts on the blog.

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
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  • Beverley

    I learned to like well actually i love being me thats how i learned to respect myself x

  • Mel

    I m trying to respect my self but …. but bec of my looks i feels sometimes im not good enough 4 my Guy .

    • Kora

      Don’t ever think that way Mel, I am sure you are very beautiful from the outside in. Remember being confident is very attractive to men. So just put a smile in your face & be humble. ­čÖé

  • The older I got the more I realized why I was receiving the wrong treatment from guys I was dating. It was because I didn’t know how to value them as a person let alone myself. But I noticed that I wanted more out of a relationship so I decided to stop pointing fingers and to focus on myself. And I am still learning how to love and respect myself. I’ve also learned how to be single because it doesn’t make any sense to keep dating different people with the same outcome.

  • Must know how to respect your brother and his friends and everyone’s

  • Rebecca

    I never learned how to respect men due to my upbringing. I’m in a relationship now, and realize that I have a lot of work to do to keep the guy I have; like my self esteem and respect for myself and men.

  • Kora

    I respect myself very well, I have an older brother and he has tought me a lot of stuff on how to respect yourself. I know I am a very beautiful girl with a lot of confidence but I know becoming to confident is not good either. I am just very confident and humble because being down someone else isn’t going to make you look better!
    FYI; Thank you for the awesome information! You rock!!!

  • sarabel

    Very good info. I’m 40 and have a series of failed relationships. My ex used to always say I don’t respect him. Now that I met someone I like I need to polish up in this area. He’s very busy all the time in his work and I want to be that girl in this article. She was very supportive and nurturing. It’s amazing how you’re never too old to improve ­čśë

    • Bruce Jenitalia

      A man also has to earn respect.. Never give respect to someone who doesn’t reciprocate

  • Michaela Reynolds

    Respecting yourself and others has to do with your view of the world. I have learned to respect myself because I believe God created all humans in His image (Genesis 1:27). We are all equally important in His eyes. He created me with a purpose in mind before I was born (Psalm 139:13-16). This gives me a sense of duty and healthy self-esteem to find and accomplish what He has in store. However, even when I mess up, He offers me love and forgiveness because His Son, Jesus Christ, suffered the penalty of my mistakes in my place (Romans 5:8 and I John 1:9). I don’t need to be insecure because I always know that God loves me unconditionally, no matter how other people treat me or what I do. He highly values me as a beautiful piece of His creation. If you love God, you will naturally have a respect for His creation, and your relationships will reflect that in loving acts of sacrificial service, because you realize that we are here to help each other for the glory of God (John 14:15 and 13:34). I hope you will find peace and security in a relationship with our loving Creator.

    • Dianne Scott

      FANTASTIC

  • It sounds as if he is the one with the insecurity, not you. Now, that said, I’m not saying you should retreat from the relationship entirely…but he may need some time to grow into himself. Does that make sense? If you are a confident, self-sufficient and highly esteemed individual…wouldn’t it be healthier for you to be with someone who reflects those characteristics back to you? You could wait it out and see if he is able to grow, but I wouldn’t rush into marriage just yet.

  • While I understand your points about respect, and realize that your perspective is from the male point of view…it is lacking in respect to those things men do to lose our respect. I mean no offense to the males that may be reading this, but men have a tendency to repeatedly make those little mistakes (a big one for my spouse has been not calling when he’s going to be late…for instance), and then not correcting them even when they know deep down that they strike a nerve in their partner.

    I realize that some men don’t feel as if calling when late should be a high priority, but what they DON’T realize, is that it can stress their partner out immensely. It has little to do with keeping tabs on our men, and more to do with worrying about their safety and well-being. I agree that men need time away from home/family with their friends, co-workers, extended family, etc… They, too, need to realize their women have those same needs.

    Many of the points listed are true on both sides (men AND women). Women desire respect nearly as much as they desire that personal connection, and lack of that reflective respect is every bit as damaging to a relationship. I guess my point is this: you give what you get,..learn your partner’s love language, and they’ll make a MUCH bigger point to learn yours…communication really is the MOST important aspect of any relationship!

    • Bruce Jenitalia

      The question is how late is he and how often? Most men aren’t offending by you asking him to call if he is going to be late, unless he is doing something or someone and you are interrupting. I would look more into his lateness.. Just saying

  • Heather Pruden

    I have done a lot of research on how to get and keep a man and everything seems to come back to the same thing…men view respect as love. Without feeling respected they don’t feel loved. And the hardest thing as a woman is trying to decode man language and know exactly how to make him feel respected and what to say to him to make him feel safe. I’m always afraid I’m going to say or do something wrong. It sometimes makes me come across as a little insecure. I’m currently with a great man, but I’m trying desperately not to push him away like I’ve done so many times before. I will gladly use the techniques provided here and do my best to keep him happy and satisfied. Thank you.

    • Dianne Scott

      I agree.

    • Bruce Jenitalia

      This is what is wrong with women. Stop trying. Let go of control. Just be you and if it’s meant to be, it will be. You’re wanting a man to validate you and with this mentality he will walk all over you. If you have to try “desperately” than that’s what he’ll see, desperation.,

  • Hinata Uzumaki

    Thank you for this.. The one thing I need to work on is making suggestions while he can’t think of what to say… He never told me he was annoyed by it but maybe he’s just being polite. This was a very helpful article.

  • Zeanne Lopez

    Respecting myself is huge for me. I do this my “Loving” me first. The only thing is that sometimes I confuse this with pride. I wont call him or text him because I think they should always chase me. If they don’t call me or text me then so be it, I’m ok with that. I always think it wasn’t meant to be. How do I create a balance?

    • Bruce Jenitalia

      They should chase you. Point, blank

  • Dianne Scott

    I had a friend ask me, “Would you want to be married to you?” Oh my… Heck no was my answer as I rewound years of insecurity and jealousy in my mind. So I became someone I would want to be married to. In the process, I learned to like myself.

  • Blair

    Greetings.. (:
    I’m Blair and I’m 14. I went on this article because I’ve recently been having a difficult time compromising with a guy I used to date and currently have a “thing” with.
    He and I have been fighting a lot lately and though I appreciate the fact that we always make up, I feel that this roller-coaster thing we have is getting old and has far too many short ups and downs. I think it’s about time we once-again experience the extraordinarily big and long up part of our relationship; late-night texts on iMessage, FaceTimes that end up concluding at 1 in the morning, Oovoo (a video chat app)calls with just him and me that last for three freaking hours after midnight, and how we save each other from sticky situations with people at our school.
    He’s going into 10th grade this year, and I’m going into 8th. We’re two grades apart but we’re only 10 months older and younger. None of us got held back though, haha.
    We’ve been getting in a lot of fights mainly because of my bitchiness and my lack of willing to understand him and compromise with him and learn to accept his contradictory opinions.
    We’re in a fight again right now due to his jealousy toward my first-guy love and my telling him he didn’t have a right to get jealous, something like that.
    Although I’d hate to be the one to apologize this time, how do I say sorry? Once he and I make up I’ll make sure it’s the start of a more clear relationship between us.
    Also, I’d like to keep it an un-confirmed or unofficial relationship, like the whole “yeah, oh she’s my girlfriend” and “yeah, O.M.G. he’s my boyfriend.” That and we’d still be other’s and he and I know it’s for real, and not just-by-paper official.
    And he and I might have a possible date this Friday, that’s if we make up again.
    Please help?
    I greatly thank you!!

  • Proud of you for communicating your needs to him and proud of him for listening and responding. That’s what good relationships are all about. ­čÖé

  • Mel

    I’ve read all those ideas and I’ve applied them …
    I must of been unlucky or thought of as a mug because
    I dressed modestly … Or a sexy way on a night out with him
    I gave them time
    I encouraged them
    I met up for lunch
    I listened
    I was 100% loyal
    I did it all … I’m alone and bringing up their kids by myself

    My respect for them never encouraged any respect back
    They used me belittled me and cheated on me .. (They being my ex’s )

  • Keri

    I haven’t dated for around 7 years, so now I feel I’m ready, ive veen doing a little research on how to do it right and this is the the most valuable and encouraging advice I have seen so far! Thanks ?

  • Wow, you sound like you have really tried to do everything right to show respect. Maybe the issue isn’t with your behavior, but with his insecurities and false perceptions. Chat with us online and we can help you sort through the situation some more – http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • 8YearsMarried

    I 100% agree with Fire343. If you love him, and can’t imagine your life without him, even if he doesn’t deserve it, have compassion and respect him. End of story. He will be happy, and in turn so will you. It’s really that simple. ­čśë

  • I Speak The Honest Truth

    Most women nowadays certainly need to read a book on that one since they have no respect at all nowadays.

  • Annie

    It has been a difficult task for me to respect a guy maybe cos I have been independent for too long. I honestly need the gift of respect. I feel hurt right now cos my boyfriend complains bitterly and now am on the remedy lane.