I've talked about how a guy can and should show respect to a girl. Now it's time to talk to girls about how to respect a guy.
If you are a guy, I know you want to be respected as well. I know that to be a fact, and it's not just because I am a guy. But I've talked to hundreds of guys who deeply desire for their girlfriend to show them admiration and high regard. Ladies, here are a few things you should know if you want to make sure the men you know are deeply aware of how much you love and respect them.
What attracts respect?
It’s a fair thing to wonder how to show respect. But when is that respect earned? How can you make sure that your actions are those of someone worthy of the respect you’d like to receive? Here are some key factors that tend to garner that respect:
- Empathy and Kindness
- Think about the school bully, or that one guy at work who everyone hates… the way that they belittle others, make fun of their problems, and refuse to show the smallest kindness has not made them a person that you respect. Showing empathy and kindness towards others, being compassionate, and considering their feelings and needs demonstrates emotional intelligence. When people see that you genuinely care about others, it’ll be hard not to respect you.
- Have you ever messed up and then tried to cover it up or lie about it? Taking responsibility for your actions and admitting when you make a mistake is a sign of maturity and integrity. People respect those who don't shy away from accountability. We all make mistakes. We all fall short on our promises or hurt people from time to time. Being able to recognize that and make amends will set you apart as someone worthy of respect.
- How does it feel when you have an idea, but that idea is immediately shut down by a teacher, a parent, or a coworker? Being open to having conversations, new ideas, diverse perspectives, and different cultures fosters respect. Those who embrace differences and actively seek to learn from others are able to make others feel respected, too
- Humble individuals who don't boast or belittle others are typically respected. Do you respect that super braggy kid in your class who never lets you forget his GPA? There’s a difference between celebrating your successes and becoming arrogant. Acknowledging that no one is infallible, that everyone has room for improvement, and that every success is thanks to the hard work and help of many is an important way of both showing and earning respect.
- How does it make you feel when your mom goes into your room while you're at school and cleans the whole thing without your permission? Does it make you feel respected? No! It makes you feel powerless, like she doesn’t trust you to do it yourself, thinks you’re incapable, or just doesn’t care about your privacy. Encouraging and empowering others to succeed and reach their potential can also earn respect. People tend to appreciate those who help them grow and develop, rather than put them down.
- Respect for Others: Have you ever been embarrassed when your parent treated a waiter or barista like they were stupid or with impatience? Have you ever been that waiter or barista? Treating others with respect is the best way to receive it in return. Respecting people's positions, boundaries, cultures, and perspectives goes a long way in building a respectful environment.
Every human being deserves some level of respect at the end of the day, and it’s crucial that we remember that. That “respect for others” is perhaps one of the most important ways that Jesus taught by example. He spoke to, ate with, traveled with, became friends with, and loved people who were considered unclean, sinful, and worse… because he respected them. In His words, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Matthew 7:12
So How Does a Girl Show A Guy Respect?
Here's our straightforward list:
1. To respect a guy, don't play with his sexuality and drives.
To respect a guy, don't play with his sexuality and drives. Cause him to love and see you as a person, and not just as an object.
She doesn't use her body to manipulate him. If you only take one thing from this blog, get this one. Girls, you have an incredible power to control guys with your appearance, simply because guys are driven so intensely by what they see when they look at a girl and the beauty of her body. To respect a guy, don't play with his sexuality and drives. Cause him to love and see you as a person, and not just as an object. When you flirt with him you can easily appeal to his lust, rather than who he is as a person. Dressing modestly and refusing to be flirtatious, also shows your boyfriend you aren't trying to attract other guys.
2. She asks his opinion.
Every person wants to be respected. Guys, in particular, crave to be looked at as a leader--someone whose ideas are important. Guys want to know you are interested in what they think. He feels respected when you care about how he thinks and feels. Then when you take the time to listen, it's even more powerful. He will feel deeply valued by you. Someone commented to me: If a girl asks a guy's opinion, if he answers honestly (and preferably tactfully) with an answer she didn't want, she needs to realize that he respected her enough not to lie to her, and she needs to respect his opinion, even if she doesn't agree with it, and not get angry with him because of it.
3. Don't try to put words in his mouth.
If you try to put words into a guy's mouth, you'll only show him you think he doesn't know what to say.
She is patient with him when he has a difficult time expressing himself.Many guys have a hard time communicating, especially their thoughts and emotions.
There are going to be many times he wants you to know what he's feeling, but he is just going to need a little more time actually getting it out. Don't try to put words in his mouth, you'll only show him you think he doesn't know what to say. You can, however, repeat back to him what you heard him say, so you both are on the same page.
4. She encourages and supports him.
Guys easily feel belittled by girls. When you cheer on your man, you are breathing life into his soul. Telling him you believe in him and support what he is attempting to achieve is a very powerful way to show your guy you respect him. When he feels that support from you, the confidence you are pouring into him will help him to feel invincible. Someone once said, Behind every great man, is a great woman. Some girls are so stuck on their own needs they can't seem to give encouragement and inspiration to the guys they know. So give a guy a gift he will never forget: the gift of encouragement.
5. When you cheer on your man, you are breathing life into his soul.
She doesn't exhaust him with all the little details. It's easy to want to make sure your boyfriend gets all the details of your life. He is interested in you, but he gets worn out easily if you bog down your stories with all kinds of extra details. Try to make it easier for him to process all the information you want him to know.
6. She knows she doesn't own him.
She doesn't demand he be there for her 24 hours a day. Just because the two of you may be dating, doesn't put you in charge of his life.
When you let him have his own life, making his own decisions, spending time with his friends, it shows you respect him, and will make you more attractive to him.
Lindsey commented she knew her boyfriend's time was limited with his working full-time and going to school full-time. I never tried to demand lots of time from him. Instead, I would make him a meal and meet him between classes or on his lunch break at work. He really appreciated it, and I felt like I was respecting his schedule while still fitting in time to see him.
Showing respect to your boyfriend is the very best way you can show him that you love him.
7. She must respect herself.
There are many girls who are extremely insecure and are convinced they are not worth being loved or respected by others. So they end up sabotaging their relationships with guys because of their low self-esteem. They tend to be constantly asking their guy if they are still being loved by him. It's very difficult for a guy to respect a girl who doesn't respect herself or see herself as worthy to be loved.
Jonathan had some great thoughts I must include. A girl must also respect herself; if a guy desires to date her or even just be her friend, he must like something about her. By not liking herself, she is also saying that her friend's and/or boyfriend's opinions of her don't mean anything to her. If she returns compliments with contradictory remarks, she is not respecting the guy's opinion, or his attempt to respect her.
Girls, it's valuable to realize how important this topic is in your relationship with guys. Showing respect to your boyfriend is the very best way you can show him that you love him. But it's also true with all your relationships, including your relationship with yourself. It is crucial to respect yourself and I've written a blog about that as well.