As humans we all want what we don’t have and then oftentimes are not grateful for the gifts and talents that we do have. It doesn’t take long for anyone reading my posts to find a grammatical error or a misspelled word. I have learning disabilities and miss many things that need to be corrected. Having this kind of disability doesn’t bother me, but all of the emotional side effects do.
As my friends are in their first weeks of college I’m not joining them. I didn’t even apply for college because I didn’t meet the requirements to be accepted into any school that I was even slightly interested in (I’m not talking about private colleges, I’m referring to state schools). I am living with my parents trying to find work. Besides doing babysitting and house sitting I haven’t found anything. Society says that I just didn’t work hard enough in high school in order to be accepted into school, but that was not the case for me. Believe me, I worked hard but my effort hardly matched my results. I never turned in an assignment late, I spent many sleepless nights preparing and stressing over tests, and I spent my entire school career being stressed over simply “passing” just to end up barely graduating.
As a way to handle my stress, I would make myself feel beautiful. My motto was, if I can’t feel smart, I can at least feel pretty. I spent more hours doing my hair and make-up after school than before. I did it for me. It became my way to relax. I guess that I knew that I could never be the smart one but I could accomplish being the pretty one. I mean I might be considered ‘dumb’ for not understanding a theory in math class but at least I could look cute while doing so. Honestly, more than anything else I would love to be book smart. If I had the chance to give up going to the salon for the rest of my life just to be smart, I would do it. I’m not insecure about my physical appearance, but I am so insecure about my intellectual appearance.
For me my learning disabilities don’t go away when I’m not at school. It plays into so many parts of my life – understanding directions, being able to comprehend a conversation, or the instant anxiety that comes when I’m asked to read something out loud. But with difficulty, comes strength. I have essentially been forced into having to be creative when figuring out how to live with these disabilities. For instance, cooking can be extremely hard for me. Reading the directions on a recipe along with numbers can be a nightmare. What do I do? I don’t mess with a recipe. I’ll look at the picture that’s in the cookbook, look at the ingredients and do the best that I can to make the dish look the same as the picture. I have to use all of my senses to understand what’s going on.
What does come naturally to me is art, fashion, and most importantly, creativity. This summer I’ve randomly done my friends and family’s makeup and every single time I’ve noticed that they “perk up” a little bit when I’m finished; they walk taller, and smile bigger. One of the first times I did someone else’s makeup she kept telling me with a big smile, “I just feel so beautiful!” It amazes me how spending twenty minutes on someone can change how they view themselves for at least that day.
More than anything, I want to be book smart but God didn’t create me to be that way. I want to be valued for my intellectual self, not just my outward appearance. I would love to become a medical doctor, lawyer, or something that is socially valued to be able to help others with my intellectual abilities but I don’t have those capabilities. What I do have though is a blending sponge, some lipstick to share, and some mascara. That is all I need to make someone’s day special. My value has not decreased, it may just be a little different than yours.
Lama Leah is a blogger, and supporter of the arts, social change, and God’s chosen people. Read more from her on her blog: Lama-Leah!
In a society so ready to define us by our Instagram feeds, it feels counter-cultural to turn to a higher power. In his third studio album “Identity,” Colton reminds us that God never intended anyone or anything other than Himself to label us.
Since placing in the top 7 during “American Idol’s” 11th season and performing for more than a million fans across the country on tours with Britt Nicole, Third Day and TobyMac, it would be easy for Colton Dixon to allow his success to become his identity. Instead, Colton chooses his identity solely in Christ.
The Christian recording artists says, “The only thing that’s going to really satisfy you is the Lord, and He’s the only thing that will continue to blow your mind as you live your life. He will always exceed your expectations, always.”
Letting God lead the way – “God put the call in my life and He started opening the doors, and here I am.” – Colton Dixon, on leaving baseball to pursue music.
Figuring out what matters, and what doesn’t – “It started as a personal thing, trying to figure out where I placed my identity, and figuring out the things that mattered, and the things that didn’t.” – Colton Dixon, on the inspiration that led to Identity.
It would also be natural for Dixon to stake his identity in his marriage, but he doesn’t look to his relationship with his bride, Annie, to define him, though her mark on his life is woven into the fabric of his album Identity. Meeting through mutual friends, Colton and Annie are now celebrating their one year wedding anniversary. As to what contributes to a successful marriage?
A servant’s posture – “The servant posture [is what helps make a marriage successful.] Every day I have a chance to serve my wife, [like] doing something she wants to do verses something I want to do. I’m not perfect at it, but I’m learning.” – Colton Dixon, on getting married.
Learn to reflect on your own life – “I definitely deal with some topics that might be hard to hear. I want fans to feel motivated and encouraged, but I want these songs to challenge them and make them think about their own lives.”
The Other Side – “Death is inevitable, and know that they’re on the other side and they’re living it up right now.”
Dedicated to Annie’s brother Dillon who passed away shortly before Annie and Colton met, the song The Other Side talks about the sensitive topic of death and what it means to lose a loved one.
In a culture of teens and young adults tying their self-worth to their online audience and how they’re perceived via social media, how do we put an end to the superficial characterizations? By putting God back into our Identity.
God Defines You – “God defines us in His word and we’re precious and we’re beautiful to him. He made no two people exactly alike… God cared about you so much to make you unique, that in and of itself is enough for me.”
“Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.” -- Colossians 3:11
“No matter who you are or what you’re going through, YOU MATTER.” -Colton Dixon
Identity, the third studio album from Colton Dixon, is intentionally divided into three sections – Mind, Body and Spirit – each separated by an instrumental, cinematic interlude. The MIND delves into the way our thoughts direct out actions and control the way we see ourselves. The BODY explores our humanity and how we are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God.
The SPIRIT provides moments of contemplation and peaceful reflection. With every note and lyric, Colton’s heartbeat is to express the truth he’s uncovered in his own life over and over again. This world can’t define us, because God’s love is our identity.
In my blog Life At the End of The Trail we talked about what happens to people when they do not break the chains of their addiction. We talked about where they would be 25 years later. Now I want to talk about what you can do to experience recovery from addiction.
If you want to break the addiction in your life or know someone who does, this blog's for you. Unfortunately, there are many people who never come to this point, and as they say in Narcotics Anonymous, these are the people who end up in jails, institutions, or dead. But to the fortunate ones who say, "I really want help." There is help. There is hope. While it won't be easy, the chains can be broken.
That's a good question. Books have been written on it, but let's give it a shot. Who knows? It might just change your life.
Step One: Come out of denial
What is denial? Denial is all the false beliefs our addictions hide behind. Like a living thing, an addiction will fight to stay alive. Its first line of defense is to remain hidden, so it constructs powerful arguments for why we are not addicted. How many times have you or someone you know who has an addiction come up with crazy statements to pretend they don't have an addiction? For example:
These and other statements prove the addict has not yet come out of denial and is not yet ready to start the long journey to freedom. Allie put it really well: You must admit you have an addiction and then have the will to change it. You must understand that it will not be easy. (Allie) When somebody who's addicted says, "I can't go on like this; I will do whatever it takes to be set free," then you know there is hope for that person.
For example, I received this comment from Kitty: Dawson, I have been struggling with an eating disorder for several years. I'm anorexic. I know that if I don't quit, in 25 years, I will be dead. (Kitty) It would appear Kitty has faced the cold reality of her addiction. She seems serious in her willingness to change.
Step Two: Admit You Are Powerless
Just about every program teaches that the addict must admit they are powerless over their addiction. This is a difficult thing to do because many addictions make a person feel powerful while on the high. It's humbling to say, "I cannot help myself by myself; I am powerless over this monster called addiction." For many, they have spent years with the false belief they have all the power. It's a huge step to come forward and admit to another person, "I am powerless over my addiction. I need help." But it is the only way to begin the recovery process.
It takes a lot of humility to break free. And there is that old enemy called shame, always there, ready to discourage someone from going forward.
Step Three: Turn to God
The most well-known and used program that helps people overcome addictions is the 12 Step Program. Five of the twelve steps deal directly with one's relationship with God. Only God can empower an addict to make the changes necessary for freedom. I received a very moving story from a guy named Dan. Once you have read his story, you will see how important a relationship with God can be:
I was addicted to sex for 25 years, since the very earliest experience. At the end, I had truly come to the end of my trail. I didn't feel human anymore and I thought I'd never be able to feel enjoyment or sense beauty ever again. I had the stink of death on me, and I would have been happy just to die in the desert away from humans and have my bones bleach in the sun. All the years of trying to quit and relapsing again and again accomplished nothing. I thought I was headed to Hell.
I drove all the way across the country. Halfway through Texas, I asked God what I was doing out there, and at that moment, I saw a sign in the middle of nowhere. It read: Trust Jesus. Well, I've been doing that ever since, and He's real and true. He's freed me from sexual addiction. He's showed me that the Bible contains all that we need to know. Jesus is the one who came, not to break us or put out our little flame of life, but to set us free. (Dan)
Very few people have left God out of their recovery attempts and been successful.
Conclusion:
To the person who is serious about breaking free from their addiction, whether it's cutting, gambling, drugs, eating disorders, etc., there is hope. People all around the world are overcoming their addictions one day at a time.
If you have broken an addiction, read this for help staying clean.
For more information on how to overcome your addiction, download TheHopeLine’s eBook:
Watch what happened when Jessica “Jai” McVay, former co-host of “Dawson McAllister Live," used pepper spray for the first time.
1. Tell someone where you’re going. Let a friend know when you’re on your way and check-in with a family member when you get there.
2. Plan your travel accordingly. Know where you’re going and how you’re getting there before you leave. You’ll feel more confident in navigating your route if you already know what it is.
3. Walk quickly and confidently because confidence is a deterrent. Attackers prefer their victims weak. The more inconvenient you become for an attacker, the less likely they are to make you, their target.
4. Always carry your cell phone and make sure it’s fully charged before leaving the house. A cell phone with a dead battery won’t help you in a time of crisis.
5. Carry a whistle and keep it handy in case, Heaven forbid, you’re attacked. The noise will alert others you need help, which then scares off your attacker.
6. Get one of those small, but bright, flashlights that fits on your keychain. It’ll help you see better when it’s dark, and help you feel more confident.
7. Carry pepper spray, if it’s legal where you live. It takes practice to use correctly so spend time getting comfortable with it. Learn how to lock and unlock the safety switch quickly. Pepper spray can be helpful, but there’s also a chance your attacker has the ability to grab it and use it against you.
8. Be aware of your surroundings. Look around and pay attention to what is happening around you, who is around you.
9. Don’t wear headphones or earbuds or clothes that hinder your vision like hoodies when you're out by yourself. You can’t be alert to your surroundings is you’re tuned out of your surroundings.
10. Stick to the well-lit areas.
11. If you feel uneasy, call a friend or family member to stay on the phone with you until you’re safe. Just make sure you don’t get too distracted on the phone that you become unaware of your surroundings.
12. If you notice someone may be following you, cross the street. If they cross, cross the street again. If they follow you across again, RUN and get into the nearest store, restaurant or better yet, police station.
13. If there’s a shady vehicle next to the driver’s side of your car, don’t hesitate to get in the passenger seat, lock the door and crawl over. If the situation seems pretty sketchy, go back inside where you were and find help.
14. When you’re at events, always keep alert to your surroundings and take notice of the exits.
15. Never leave your drink unattended and be careful of who you’re out with. Not everyone has the best intentions and not all predators are strangers.
16. Don’t be alone with someone who’s drunk or under the influence of drugs.
17. Don’t leave with anyone you don’t know.
18. Drinking and doing drugs hinders your decision-making ability and diminishes your ability to be alert to your surroundings. If you’re lit, you can’t protect yourself.
19. Don’t leave an intoxicated friend in any potentially dangerous situations. If your friend is intoxicated, they won’t be able to protect themselves should a situation arrive.
20. Don’t get in a car with a driver under the influence. A less drunk driver is still a drunk driver.
21. Don’t hitchhike or pick up a hitchhiker.
22. Carry your keys in hand when walking. It keeps them handy for when you get to your home or car, so you can get into a safe space as soon as possible.
23. Trust your gut. If something feels sketchy, or off, don’t feel embarrassed about leaving and getting to safety. Better safe than sorry.
24. Attend a self-defense class in your area. It’ll improve your street awareness; teach you moves to ward off an attacker and help you develop a fighter's reflex so you can get to safety.
Staying safe starts with being prepared and following a few simple tips could possibly save you from a pretty traumatic, or deadly, experience. How do you and your friends help each other stay safe?
Guest blog written by: Jessica “Jai” McVay, former co-host of “Dawson McAllister Live” and “Dawson McAllister Late Nights”
