"I'm good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to have somebody love me," explains Carolyn. She cut herself for 6 years, has been clean for 2 months, but is tempted to relapse after a friend almost raped her.
I've Been Cutting for 6 Years
CAROLYN'S (CLEVELAND, OH) QUESTION:
Carolyn: I’ve been cutting myself for 6 years. And a couple of days ago, I had this kid over. I thought he was a friend of mine, and he almost raped me. I just feel like I’m good enough to sleep with, but I’m not good enough to have somebody love me. I’ve just wanted to relapse, and I don’t know why I have no reason not to.
DAWSON MCALLISTER'S ANSWER:
Dawson: Well, because you’re telling yourself a lie. I’m good enough to sleep with, I’m not good enough to love – that’s a lie! You’re a beautiful person. You’ve had some issues. You’ve fought through your cutting issues. You’ve been clean for a while.
Carolyn: 2 months
Dawson: That’s fabulous! You’ve got to quit believing the lie. We know what the lie is. And start believing the truth. Other than that, you’ll go back and make the lie control your life and that will lead you back to cutting.
Carolyn: I’ve just never found anybody that’s made me feel like I was actually worth something. That I had a purpose in their life that was a positive thing.
Dawson: How old are you? 40?
Dawson: Well, maybe we ought to give it a couple more years. And quit looking for a guy to meet needs they can’t meet. You buy the lie; you go back living the lie.
Through blogs, eBooks, stories, podcasts, videos and more, find answers to these kinds of questions and much more on our Cutting and Self-Harm page:
- Why is Self-Harm Addictive?
- What Are Alternative Coping Strategies for Self-Harm?
- What Do I Do if I Think Someone I Love Is Hurting Themselves?
Get support from a HopeCoach. It's free and confidential. Our HopeCoaches are certified in QPR suicide prevention and no matter what the issue they provide a listening ear, encouragement and guidance.