Anytime you open yourself up to love, you might get hurt. It’s a risk you take, but one that is often well worth it.
However, we can take steps to protect ourselves from heartache that is avoidable.
Many people fall for major lies when they enter a dating relationship such as believing you are only valuable if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, believing you can change someone, and believing sex isn’t a big deal. Believing these lies and allowing your heart to get pulled in will almost always result in heartache.
After counseling many broken-hearted people, I have developed quite a list of mistruths they believed that allowed them to get in so deep. I want to make you aware of these lies so you can fill your heart with TRUTH and cling to that truth when you start to get confused. It is my hope that you can recognize these traps after a few dates and protect yourself from deeper hurt.
Here are two more lies people fall for at the beginning of a dating relationship.
Being in a relationship with this person will fulfill me and bring me complete happiness.
A person who believes this will desperately do anything to keep the person loving them. This is not happiness. To change yourself and accommodate their every need because you live in fear of losing them.
- The Truth is another person will NEVER be able to fill the hole in your soul and complete you. Only God’s love is perfect. Only God can fill the hole. Never be so desperate to connect with another person that you are willing to lose who you are to keep them. It’s not worth it.
- Protect your heart by understanding that your partner is never going to be able to fill all your cravings for love. If the relationship is not working, let them go before you get in too deep. It may hurt for a moment, but you are free to be yourself. Put your identity in a God who loves you perfectly just the way you are.
It doesn’t matter if we have the same morals or spiritual beliefs, as long as we love each other that will be enough.
The idea that a couple can “agree to disagree” about foundational beliefs such morals and religion is a big risk.
- The Truth is there are no deeper thoughts or values than those that come from our spiritual being. What we believe spiritually will tell us a lot about our values and how we look at our world. Without agreeing on spiritual beliefs, most relationships will crumble.
- Protect your heart by making a point to be sure you are on the same page about faith and values before you get too deep into your relationship. It is one thing to be friends with people who believe differently than you. It is another thing entirely to try to build a life with someone who does not agree with how you see the world.
The main TRUTH here is that you don’t have to settle for less than you deserve. Waiting for the right relationship can save you from a lot of heartache.