What to Know About Guarding Your Heart in a Relationship?
Have you been told, "Always guard your heart"?
Be sure to guard your heart can be good advice. But I find it a little vague. It begs the question, "what precisely am I guarding my heart from? And how would I go about protecting it?" I would like to spend some time looking into these questions further because if we can figure out how to protect our hearts, I believe we can avoid a lot of pain and problems.
So first...What do you need to guard your heart from? I believe the main thing that we are protecting our hearts from is believing lies from the world...lies about:
- our value
- what brings happiness
- how to spend our time
- what is good
- what is beautiful
- what's most important
- who's most important, etc.
So then how do you guard your heart from all these lies?
Well, this may sound too simple, but we need to fill our hearts with truth and believe it, so that when a lie comes our way, we are ready to fight it off with the truth.
In all my years working with teens and young adults I have combatted so many lies that have caused extreme heartache. I would like to tackle many of these lies.
So let's start today with the first thing that comes to most people's mind when they think of protecting their hearts...dating relationships.
Lie #1 - I am valuable only when I have a boyfriend/girlfriend who says they love me.
Truth - You are valuable because you are fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who loves you. Your value does not depend on another person's opinion of you.
Heart Protection - By believing this truth, your heart is protected from feeling worthless when a relationship ends. I recently heard it said, If you live for someone's praise, you die by their rejection.Know that your boyfriend/girlfriend didn't define your value. God does.
Lie #2 - I can ignore my boyfriend/girlfriend's bad behaviors. I will be able to change them.
Truth - A disrespectful person will most likely stay disrespectful, an addict will often stay an addict, a cheater will often stay a cheater until THEY decide to change. You can encourage someone to make better choices, support them and pray for them, but don't think your love alone will change them.
Heart Protection - When you believe this truth, you won't ignore bad behaviors and naively believe the other person will change. You will protect your heart from getting too deep into a relationship with someone who will hurt you.
Lie #3 - Having sex is no big deal. Everybody's doing it.
Truth - Sex is a big deal. It is not just a physical act. It is deeply emotional. Rushing into sex because of raging hormones clouds your judgment of the other person and can lead to a relationship built on nothing more than lust. You are strong enough to wait.
Heart Protection - If you believe the truth that you are strong enough and worthy enough to wait to have sex until you are married, you will save your heart from feeling empty or perhaps used or cheap when the relationship ends. Read more on my blog A Condom for the Heart
Start planting these three truths in your heart today and save yourself a lot of heartache!