She had a Plan for Suicide: EP 27

She Has Been Thinking About Suicide

She has a plan to drive her car off of a really high bridge. It’s always serious when someone says, “I’m suicidal,” and I take it as very serious. If they have a plan, it’s serious on steroids. I asked Britney why she wants to. She said, “Because I don’t feel like I have anything going in my life. My life has revolved around taking care of my family and friends.”

Driving off the bridge is not the answer. Suicide is way too medicine for the sickness. Last weekend, her mom overdosed on her pills and she wasn’t sure if it was an accident or not. Britney constantly worries about her mom. Britney was put in foster care growing up and also had to take care of her grandmother, who had cancer.  She wonders, “What’s the point?”

She no doubt was asked to do something she was way too young for – something that was too demanding for her age and emotional needs.  Here she was, a foster child (which has its own issues), taking care of her dying grandmother.  It was all too much for her.

She sounds emotionally exhausted.  She didn’t say it, but her mother’s overdose probably makes her wonder if she’s going to have to go through the hurt again of taking care of someone who is dying, and who will leave her.  As the old song goes, “Alone Again, Naturally.”

Peer to Peer: Messages of Hope for Britney 

As I talked with Britney on my show, I realized that some of the most invaluable advice and encouragement could come from others who had been in her shoes. She needed some real uplifting and as we opened up the phone lines asking for people to give her message of hope…the calls came flooding in. Here are a few of those calls, from Katelyn, Brad, Caleb, and Lauren. These people were right on with their messages of hope and their encouragement!

Keep Going, Suicide Is Not the Answer

Katelyn says to Britney, “Keep going, suicide is not the answer. I’ve been in your shoes to the point where I didn’t want to be there anymore. And you just need to pray, be strong, and hold your head up. Even though you’re going through a rough patch right now, just know that God is handling it. God is watching over you. Look up to Him and pray to God. You are a strong beautiful person.

There is no reason you should end your life because God has a plan for you.”

Katelyn gave Britney Firsthand Experience

Katelyn was kind but direct.  She spoke of firsthand experience.  She, too, had thought about killing herself.  People who have been suicidal and have come through the other side can be extremely helpful.

Some people are afraid to talk with a suicidal person about their issues, thinking about what they say will push them off the ledge, but that’s not true.  Talking with someone openly about suicide can only help, as long as it is respectful, kind, and without any baiting.  For example, “You’ll never kill yourself.  You’re too stupid to do it.”  That’s baiting.  And it’s very dangerous.  But Katelyn didn’t do that.  She spoke openly about the issues and was extremely respectful.

Katelyn was also hopeful.  And her hopefulness had been impacted by her faith in God.  When you bring God into the equation, you also bring hope because whatever is troubling someone who is suicidal can be solved by God.

You are Worth More than Driving Your Car off a Bridge

Here’s Brad’s advice for Britney. “I’ve been in your shoes before, I know exactly what you’re going through. I have felt the world against my shoulders, felt the world was crashing down around me and there was nowhere to turn…except to end it all. I had a plan myself. I started to do the plan and then one of my friends called me. I just happened to pick up, completely in tears, completely upset, feeling I wasn’t loved, that there was no there just to say, “Hey, I got you. I got your back. I’m always here if you need something.” It’s all sort of unexplained mysterious work at hand just to let you know that you are worth more than driving your car off a bridge. Your self-worth and the worth of everybody around you and around the world that’s listening right now. The fact the whole world is blowing up to let you know, girl, you got this. You can beat this, you are loved by millions of people. You’ve called in to talk with Dawson, you’ve called in and are listening to all of us. Just to talk to you and we are here to say we know where you are coming from. I get it. I understand. I’m here if you need me. I’m here if you need anything at all.”

Brad’s Advice offered Hope

Brad, too, offered tremendous hope to Britney.  He said the very fact that she had called the show was a sign of hope.  He’s right. 

Some people are so depressed they don’t have the emotional strength to call.  She did.  She was serious, and she was getting the answers she was looking for.

He also talked about the millions of people who were hearing her plea for help.  And those million were all pulling for her. Always remember what people want most is hope.  If you will sincerely offer it to them, you are giving them an amazing gift.

You are Here for a Reason

Caleb said to Britney, “You called Dawson for a reason. God sent you to Dawson for a reason, so you could call him. That way God can speak to you through someone else to help you not do what you are trying to do right now. There have been many people in your shoes. I have been in your shoes just recently. I wanted to drive my car at 110 mph into a tree. But Dawson came on and spoke words to me that I’ve never heard before and I listened to his show for 8 years. I had friend’s blowing up my phone, they all tell me there’s a reason I’m here. God didn’t put you down here for no reason. Nobody is down here on this Earth for no reason.

We all make a difference, whether it be now, in the past, or in the future. You could wake up tomorrow and then something new sparks up and you’ve just changed the whole world. You never know.”

Caleb said Something Powerful

Caleb had something really powerful to say – he said, “You’re not down here for no reason.”  He was saying don’t blow the opportunity God has given you.  It may be dark today, but that could all change tomorrow.

There’s so Much You Haven’t Experienced Yet

Lauren says to Britney, “Life gets really really hard sometimes and it feels like you’re at your breaking point. I suffer with depression. I’ve been through a lot of things and been suicidal.  You’re so young and there’s so much you haven’t experienced.

There’s so much in the world to see. And you’re worth so much more than driving your car off a bridge.”

You are worth so much more!

Lauren, another caller, piggy-backed on what Caleb was saying.  She said, “You’re so young, and there’s so much in the world you haven’t experienced, and there’s so much in the world to see.  And you’re worth so much more than driving your car off a bridge.” Amen Lauren!

What advice would you give Britney?

Britney said the advice was amazing! After hearing the messages of hope, she said, “I’m not going to give up!” If you have advice for Britney, would you type it in the comments below! You never know when Britney or someone else struggling with suicidal thoughts might read it, be encouraged and find hope.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Have you been having thoughts of suicide or know someone who’s there right now? It’s incredible, the difference we can make in someone’s life by speaking love and encouragement to them. What I loved about each of those that gave messages of hope for Britney, was that is they could relate to what she was feeling. Each one of them had felt like giving up at some point in their life.

They told Britney, they’d been there, feeling like she does, and she didn’t have to be in that place alone.

I love what Caleb told Britney, “God didn’t put you down here for no reason.” God has an amazing plan for each one of us. Psalm 139:13-16 says, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.  My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

Let God be your hope. He alone is our hope and our refuge. As the Psalmist David wrote, “We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone.” (Psalm 33:20-22)

Resources for help with Suicide:

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world.

One last thing,
My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope! 

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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5 comments on “She had a Plan for Suicide: EP 27”

  1. Would like to offer encouragement to those who feel like no way out. Call a hotline, or speak to a counselor at school, allow friends or family to help you get into counseling. Sometimes hard to make these moves on your own. My son was talking about ending his life after an event where he thought He ruined his life. I told him we were going to the mental health hospital right now. He did not want to go, but I told him I’m his mom, I love him and we are going. Thankfully he allowed this, allowed me to be part of counseling, was thought to be bi-polar but ending diagnosis was ADHD. (Self medicating with alcohol. ) He was a high school Jr. He is now Alive, married with a son, practicing law. Hard to see a way out.... allow others to help....! Even when it doesn’t make since! You are loved! God loves you for always!
    PS I grew up in dis-function and was suicidal but never shared, wish I had, my life may have been easier in many ways. Grateful I didn’t take action on my thoughts.

    1. Kathleen, Thank you so much for sharing your story about your son. There are many that will benefit from hearing how a mother's love saved her son. If you are open to this, we would love for you to submit your story on our Share Your Story's page. We would not use any personal information or names in the post. To share go to https://www.thehopeline.com/share-your-story/

  2. Thank you for the kind words. I just wish I could believe them. I have no self esteem at all. I'm tired of hurting all the time. I feel like I deserve to be treated like this. I've had people tell me that .

  3. Almost 4 years ago I tried to commit suicide. I wish I would've done it. I'm sick and tired of being judged and criticized by people who I thought liked and cared for me. Even people who are in my church choir !!! I struggle with anxiety and depression and mental illness every day. I don't care.

    1. Marsha, You are valuable and worthy. We understand it is hard to overcome others that criticize and judge you. Especially, those that you're supposed to trust in church choir. Please do not live for them. Live for yourself and the Lord. You are beautiful just the way you are and God loves you and accepts you. He is close to the broken-hearted and He knows the pain and hurt you are going through. He knows your struggles with anxiety and depression. How about chatting online with one of our HopeCoaches tonight at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ or would you like to talk to Dawson on-air Sunday night? Just email him at dawson@thehopeline.com to set up a time to talk between 7pm - 8pm Central Sunday night. We also have a place you can get prayer from others at http://www.theprayerzone.com

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