Dawson’s Blog

Top Two Reasons You Should Stop Lying PLUS How Liars Get Caught

In my blog How to Stop Lying I listed eight things you can do to help break the bad habit of lying.

But I don’t just want to give you tips on how to stop lying. I want to motivate you by giving you two very important reasons WHY you should stop.

Top Two Reasons You Should Stop Lying

First of all, NOBODY wants to be friends with a liar because liars can’t be trusted and they hurt other people with their lies…often in order to protect themselves. If you desire any REAL relationships in your life, you need to be trustworthy.
catch someone lying
Second, liars will eventually get caught, and deservedly so. Lying is a destructive force and it will catch up to you.

In fact, I want to use the rest of this blog to help protect people from liars. Below is a list of a number of signals to watch for if you think someone may be lying. It’s not going to be completely possible to know every time someone lies, but there are definite signs that should send up a red flag.
Liars eventually get caught. Click To Tweet
Ericka told me about some of the pain caused by the lying of her ex-husband: I have two young children (3 & 1) and just left their father because he was addicted to gambling. I always thought that cheating would be the worst, but I soon discovered that along with gambling came lie after lie. Our relationship was never going to improve without trust.

Discovering his lying earlier could possibly have saved Ericka and her children some needless pain. Would that be possible? I believe it is possible by figuring out how to know if someone is lying.

Lying is a stressful behavior, and it causes people to act differently when they lie.

We’ve all seen people take lie detector tests on TV or in the movies. It is an effective instrument, not because it can tell right from wrong, but because it can reveal when a person’s body is reacting in a stressful manner. Because lying is so wrong, it can cause stressful behavior, showing signs we can detect through body language.

It is important to learn to read body language. How does a person act in normal circumstances? Notice normal eye, hand and body movements, and facial expressions during regular conversation. Then you will better notice when the body language changes…showing the stress of lying.

One of the easiest and best ways to tell if someone is lying is by looking into their eyes. Most people who are lying have a difficult time holding eye contact with the person they’re lying to. Jenna agrees: It is hard to tell when people are lying to you. But in my case I found that when someone is lying they don’t give you eye contact.
caught lying

8 More Signs Someone May Be Lying to You:

How to Catch a Liar

  • A lying person may become tense and freeze up while telling the lie. Others may move their body way more than normal.
  • A lying person may appear uncomfortable fast eye blinking, scratching, itching, swallowing hard, fidgeting, etc.
  • A lying person may look up and to the right.
  • A lying person may touch their nose, or cover up their face or mouth.
  • A lying person may often raise the pitch or speed of their voice.
  • A lying person may present a wide-eyed, innocent look.
  • A lying person may create noticeable pauses in the conversation as they are trying to come up with something to say that fits the lie they are creating.
  • A lying person often tells a different version of their original lie the second time around.

You’re not always going to be able to discover if a person is lying to you, but usually if it feels like a lie, it almost always is.
Usually if it feels like a lie, it almost always is. Click To Tweet
My desire is to help both those who lie and those who have been lied to. I care for you equally. So it is my hope that if you are in the habit of lying you will stop and think twice. Know that your lies will ruin friendships and you will eventually get caught. And if you believe you are being lied to, trust your gut and confront the person you believe is being dishonest. It will be best for both of you in the long run.

For more on how to deal with a liar or how to stop lying, check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
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  • Jenn

    Hi, I am really interested in this blog. I am a compulsive liar, and I don’t know why I do it. I don’t want to! But I do. My problem is, I really don’t lie about big crazy things, I lie about the littlest and stupidest things ever! For example- the other day my boyfriend texted me- and I didn’t respond for about a half an hour bcuz I was busy with our son. Instead of telling him that I was busy with our son I lied, and told him that I had just gotten home from my doctors appt (which I really did have- but I had been home for a bit by that point) I lied because I didn’t want him to think that I wasn’t responding to him bcuz I was doing something wrong- or something I shouldn’t have been doing. So I said I just got home- I was driving with our son, so I couldn’t text back. That just one example of the really stupid little lies I tell. I don’t know why I do it, and I truly don’t want to do it anymore!!!! Please help, what can I do to really really stop and gain his trust back! I truly love this man, and I know that if I lie one more time, big or tiny- it’ll be it for us.

    • Mike

      I did something similar with my ex, she found out and we broke up. Lucky me, I now have a very forgiving girlfriend, and she helps me to stop lying.

  • Anonymous

    I really need help, I lie like all the time. It could be big or small. Once, me and my friend cheated on a test and got in trouble after a couple of days, because the teacher found out our answers were the same. My friend’s parents don’t really care but mine do, so me and my friend set a new story up, saying I was innocent and my friend was copying off me, but I did not want to get her in trouble, so that’s one lie. The other time, my dad starting giving me vitamins for body health. I don’t want/like them but I am forced to take them. I got in the habit of getting a tissue, wrapping the vitamins up, and throwing them away. Well, my parents saw me holding a lump in my hands and asked what I was doing, and I said: ” Oh, throwing my rubbish away”. That’s another lie. I lie all the time, for big and small things and I’m trying my best to stop, but its so hard. All my friends don’t trust me now, because I lie with a very straight face, that even teachers and parents can’t see through. What am I to do? Is there hope?

    • dominae

      there is hope I lied all the time with a straight face and some people believe me some didnt an there is hope u have to pray

  • Josh

    Same with me!

  • nansadaa

    i have been lying to my girlfrend soo much now i wann to quit lying to her cos we married now

    • Wes

      I know this feeling , I lie to my girlfriend so much , yet I know I love Her. Its not her , it’s just my stupid habit of lying , even when I don’t even have a problem to lie about

  • kitcat

    I can’t stop lying ,I lie to cover up things, but that was just the start, Know I’m even makeing up story’s even if I don’t have a thing to hide , I just can’t stop I lie to ever one I make up fake secrets ,story’s about my life I without having too please help is there even hope for me?

    • dominae

      there is hop for u I starting lieng at 12 years old and I felt stupid now im 15years old and I got worse u have to pray and try not to do it agin

  • dominae

    sometimes when my cuzin tells on me she gets really mad then ..we would yell at eatchother…….one time my cuzin told on me an said that I be hitten on my little cuzin…….then she told my aunt that I be popping my butt outsiie when I dont…and I told lies on her alot..an now I feel really stupid an. now I just wish could take it back cuz now I tell things outside of my house and thats not right…..an my auntie cant trust me like that no more so now all I can do is pray…

  • TheHopeLine

    Even Christians have struggles. Check out this testimony on TheHopeLine youtube channel – https://youtu.be/ghgfRMhjaKk And remember HopeCoaches are always available for chat 24/7 http://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/ We care about you!

  • Sam

    I’m a horrible person. I lie all the time. I don’t know why….but I can’t help it. For example, I told my friends that I was bysexual. I don’t know why. I just thought that I needed atenntion. I’ve lied to all my friends. I told them that I have anger issues. I feel so stupid. All my kids then back on me though. My older brother knows I lie and he tells me “So someone told me you said this” And I’m even more stupid I’ll say “No I didn’t say that” or ” You or the person that told you probably heard me wrong ” In tired of lying. I hate myself for it.

  • Ashlyn Saucier

    We are all born flawed.. And when we can admit to having a lying problem and seek other’s help I feel like people are capable of change. For me, it takes more effort to tell the truth than to be honest. I’ve hurt the man I love more than life itself, my future husband, my soul mate. And it is past the point of forgiveness. So I made a vow to myself that from today on out I will MAKE MYSELF tell the truth. Even when it hurts. Even when it is damaging to myself and hurts my self pride. “White lies” have taken over my life, but I’m taking my life back.

    • Hanen

      Hello ashlyn can we talk further about this in private?

  • The one component missing here is self-compassion. Most people primarily lie due to some form of severe judgmental projection that exist in their life. Some liars can be transparent with most people outside of their loved ones. Each comment below is the fear of being rejected by a loved one. Ask yourself, in childhood which parent made you feel so inadequate you had to lie to them all the time because whether you were right or wrong you would have been judged? The author is right you should always choose a life of honesty. I just wanted to add though that the source of most lying behaviour stems from a wounded inner child to scared to be it’s authentic self.

  • tanya

    u get more repect from ur love ones and build ur trust back. trust goes along ways an i believe once all ur trust is gone from someone they have nothing to earn it back with, if u stop lying an start tellling the truth before all of its gone they will have hope & respect for u, cause u are changing to bad habits. I totally agree that lying is a disease an addiction that can be stoped but only by urself!

    • Hanen

      Hello Tanya! Can we talk more about this in private plz?

  • Cassandra

    I am 13 and I lie a lot. My parents don’t trust me and I am always getting in trouble. I don’t know why I lie and why I can’t stop. I just say the first thing that comes to mind. Please help. I want to be trusted

  • TheHopeLine® Team has just published a brand new free eBook on the topic of lying. Here’s the link: http://info.thehopeline.com/lying-ebook.

  • Joseph Valoaich

    I been lying for the past 2 years now no one be leaves me when i tell the truth and now me and my girl friend split and we have a son together and now i have to showe her i can stop lying and i need help with my anger any one can help me with how to fix thing as in my lying my anger and how to get the love of my life back please help

  • Joseph Valoaich

    I have been telling the truth and it feels good.. But I still find myself lying and then I tell the truth right after i lie but I want to tell the truth all the time.. And they don’t believe me when I do tell the truth or they do

  • Recognizing you have a problem is the first step and your desire to change shows you have a conscience. Sometimes having children helps us become better people for their sake. You can chat with a HopeCoach and we can help you find resources to help you overcome this. We are available 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
    Also, check out the free eBook http://info.thehopeline.com/lying-ebook

  • Don’t give up. You really can get better and not lie anymore. Chat with a HopeCoach about your struggle – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • Becca

    I’ve been lying for a long time because I feel like I am ugly and uninteresting. I am not a good person and I don’t see how God can love me.

  • Gail Lantz

    My daughter has crashed and burned so many times for lying and just doesn’t get that this is ruining her life. Therapists and psychiatrist s just medicate which doesn’t help and she is caught in the cycle thinking depression and suicidal thoughts cause her lying and not the other way around. What can a parent of a young adult do? I wish there was some sort of a lye detector she could wear to alert herself… She does it so much she doesn’t even realize it. Addicted