Crazy in Love
I met this girl. She had a smile that made me melt inside. I began talking to her every day and quickly fell in love. We'd been talking about getting married and it felt so certain. It was all I wanted. No. She was all I wanted. I loved her with every ounce of my soul. She was part of me. I thought we were destined to be together. I loved her so much that if I wasn't talking to her I'd rather not talk at all. We used to just stare into each other's eyes and know that everything was gonna be okay as long as we were together. We didn't even need to talk sometimes we already knew what was going to be said.
But now, those three words that meant so much, mean so little. One night I was by myself and I felt like hearing her voice so I called her. She answered and while we were talking I hear her some guy in the background say "babe get off the phone already!" And I just cringed and told her that I had to go. My phone kept going off and it was her every time. I just sat there in my room considering what I thought were options. I wanted to die almost as much as I had wanted her. I felt so betrayed. I went on Instagram and was looking at her photos. I saw this guy in her comments and they were flirting with each other. I felt like the life was leaving my body. But it was just the love.
I ended the relationship. She said she was sorry and tried to "explain". There were no words to take away that kind of pain. This tore me up for months. I could hardly stand hearing her name. All of "our songs" were ruined. I felt like I climbed back inside the shell she forced me to break through. I hid from the sunshine and the possibility of finding someone else.
The Darkness Passed
But in the midst of this, I found myself. I suffered all those nights only to wake up every day. I thought so often about leaving this world behind, but now I realize I was so blind. I couldn't see that the darkness was only for the moment. I didn't know that it would pass. I thought it never would honestly.
But I'm telling YOU now that the dark moments in life are what define us. We can choose to sink in our issues until we're in over our heads or we could find a way, no matter how long it takes, to climb out of the deep darkness. You will be yourself again just give it time. Just breathe. There are better days ahead I promise you this.
From someone who's been there. ~ Matt #brokenheart
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