Getting Over A Broken Heart – 6 Steps To Healing

6 Steps To Healing A Broken Heart

A lot of people read my blogs, not because I’m such a great blogger, but because the topic touches right where we live. Just about everyone reaches out to be loved, but love is full of risks. To love is to be vulnerable and therefore easily hurt by the people we love theWe need love in our lives. Broken Heart blog series. most. God designed us to love, for He is love Himself. Not to love causes a certain death deep inside of us. I received a comment this week from an anonymous person.

He said, “I have a better piece of advice: Don’t ever fall in love in the first place. Just don’t do it. It always leads to heartbreak and it’s never worth it. If you never let yourself fall in love with anyone, then you will never have to worry about getting over a broken heart. It’s as simple as that.”

I DISAGREE with Anonymous. To really live is to really die. Being hurt is not the worst thing that will ever happen to us. Not to love is far worse.

 

So how do you get over a heartbreak that will most assuredly at some point come your way? I have come up with 15 ways to help heal a broken heart:

1. Take heart, you will get through this.

2. Talk to someone who cares.

3. Allow yourself to be human and feel the pain.

4. Immediately take your broken heart to God.

5. Give yourself time to heal.

6. Learn lessons from the experience.

7. Be careful…don’t date destructive people to begin with.

8. Don’t overreact and embarrass yourself.

9. Don’t over analyze.

10. Don’t go into rebound dating.

11. Let go of mementos.

12. Keep yourself busy by giving to others.

13. Take Care of yourself physically

14. It’s mostly about you, not your ex

15. Move on

Some things on this list are warnings of things to avoid, some are ways to move on, but today I want to look at those things that will help you heal.

6 Steps to Healing a Broken Heart:

girl sad from a broken heartTake heart, you will get through this.

Having your heart broken over a relationship is going to hurt. You could lose your appetite. You could lose your desire to do much of anything but lay in bed and ache. You may feel shortness of breath from crying. Your ribs may ache. Your eyes may swell. It’s almost like your heart will burst. Confusion might rule your brain. You might feel as bad as you have ever felt. It seems no one can help you. But you will get through this.These intense symptoms begin to subside a little bit at a time, just not soon enough for you. The problem is you may be letting this one event blind you so you cannot see the good things happening in your life. Like the old retro song goes, “I can see clearly now the rain is gone.” There is a reason there are so many songs written about a broken heart. Consider the tens of millions who have gone through what you’re experiencing. They made it and so will you. So take heart and hold on.

Talk to someone who cares.

I heard someone say once that 90% of good counseling is just talking out how you feel. It’s amazing how much better you feel when there’s someone you can talk to who totally understands what you’re going through. The person you are sharing with is like a human crutch to help you through a time of brokenness. It’s kind of like when a guy gets hurt on the football field injuring his knee. Two of his teammates get around him and help carry him off the field. That’s what happens when you have a broken heart. When someone is there, they can help strengthen you when you hurt the most. The people who suffer the most from heartbreak are those who have no one to help them.The wisest man in the Bible, King Solomon, said, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” So find a friend or family member, someone you can trust to keep your secrets, and talk it out. You’ll be glad you did.

 

“Talking to someone who you know and trust will help you greatly. A pastor or just a great friend who maybe is older than you and has more experience with heartbreaks is wonderful. They tell you how they lived and moved on and help you out very much.” (Kaitlyn)

 

girl coping with a broken heartAllow yourself to be human and feel the pain.

One of the ways we know we are human and truly alive is that we feel pain. Going through a break-up can be very difficult and touch raw emotions. This proves we are human. It is extremely important to let those raw emotions out. Find a safe place where you are comfortable and if possible, let the tears flow. It is our body’s way of ridding itself of the pain and hurt. There was a hit awhile back called “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie. She’s wrong. Big girls are really healthy girls when they show emotion. Some people run from their hurts when really they should embrace them. It’s only when we feel our pain are we able to honestly deal with it and move on. If we don’t, that pain will reappear somewhere else, usually in an unhealthy way.

 

“No one wants to be hurt, and when we are, our first instinct is to block it out. Unfortunately, the best ways to block something like that out is through destructive behavior like substance abuse, cutting, and the like. Even worse, the release doesn’t last and you end up worse off than you were before.” (Jonathan)

Take your broken heart to God.

There are those who may think this bit of advice is needless. Nothing could be further from the truth. Here’s why. You and I were created to love and be loved. When we get down to it, all we really want is to know there is someone who knows all about us and still loves us no matter what. Only God can love us this way. When we have that foundation of knowing we are loved no matter what, we can have the strength to face rejection from others. Only God can give us a deep sense of being loved because He always does, no matter what. It says in the Old Testament of the Bible, I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself. So go ahead. Tell God everything you feel about your broken heart. He is there to listen and to help heal you.

 

“It is very important to go to God after you’ve had a bad relationship. God is the ONLY one who will heal your broken heart.” (-Osman)

 


heal heart brokenGive yourself time to heal.

If your heart has been broken, it will take time for you to completely heal. At the time of the break-up, almost everyone thinks they will never feel normal again. But God has designed us so we will heal from wounds. It’s amazing to see how our human spirit comes back again. Some people heal faster than others. Some people’s emotions go deeper than others. The deeper your emotions, the longer it will take to heal. But sooner or later you will begin to feel alive again and you will learn to accept this new feeling. Don’t fight the healing process and you will be on your way to smiling again in no time. So be patient with yourself. You will get through this.

“The best thing in the world for a broken heart is time. It’s going to hurt for a while and some days will be better than others, but you will eventually get over the person you lost.” (Lindsey)

 

Learn lessons from the experience.

It’s not if difficult things will happen to us. It is inevitable that they will. The question is can we learn from the experience? If we don’t learn, we will keep doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same response. So during this time of hurt, you might want to ask yourself some meaningful questions about your broken relationship. For example:

  •  Did you fail to communicate openly?
  •  Were you insensitive to your partner’s feelings?
  • Were you too possessive or selfish?
  • Were you physical sexually?
  • Were you dishonest in the relationship?
  • Am I learning how other people can be hurt?

Answers to these and other questions can help you be a much deeper person, better equipped for your next relationship.

 

“It is always easy to remember that life goes on, no one promised it would be easy, but everything happens for a reason. And if it is something that will change your life, then let it.” (Brian T.)

 

I’m so glad you are looking for help to mend your broken-heart. Remember if you want to talk with someone who is unbiased to your situation, chat with a HopeCoach now.

Also check out my other blogs –
5 Ways to Move Forward After a Broken Heart
4 Things to Avoid to Save You From Further Heartbreak




Free eBook! Understanding Forgiveness from TheHopeLine®




Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
TheHopeLine reads every comment. The purpose of the blogs are to provide help through the content, stories, and struggles of others. If you are looking for immediate help please click on an option above.
  • mike

    What if two people want to be together but can’t…it’s very detrimental to a persons heart…very confusing

  • Patnavynurse@sbcglobal. net

    Sorry, my husband divorced me 3 years ago after a 3 year separation. Our daughters are grown and still have issues with the split and I can’t get past the pain! He has moved on, has a new wife (supposedly his one & only original true love), and moved out of state. I find it hard to care about anything or anyone. Spend most of my days crying and eagerly awaiting death from the very aggressive cancer I was diagnosed with recently.

    Hopeless

    • mark

      focus on your kids and yourself. Your daughters need your love as much as you need it yourself.

      Endure all the pain. Our hearts are designed to be broken into thousands of pieces. if you are reading this right now, you’re luckier than other people who needs these kinds of advice.

    • Mo1989

      Pat it breaks my heart to read this. I too have a very serious cancer and like you just went through a heartbreaking experience and I feel like I’m going to die. I can’t openly express how I feel because it hurts and I just want get passed it. Instead of reacting in hurt I am pissed! I say that to say this, I understand where you are coming from truly! Please think of your children and try your best to get through this. My heart aches for you and I will be praying for not only a recovery for you but for a piece of mind. Stay strong and if you need anyone to talk to although you don’t know me I am here. The pain is temporary and this storm too shall pass.

  • Donna M. Allen

    Wow…I am sitting here reading this blog and the comments below. .the fact that you have cancers is all the more reason for me to minister the healing power and grace of the Lord Jesus Christ! He heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds! My “break up ” is a little different. .I was not married to the person who kinda,broke my heart. …I was simply “involved” to a degree. When I met this person they expressed interest..strong interest in my opinion in me.. he did things for me and tended to me like no other man ever had…it felt good..God told me not to open the door and Many nights I cried out to Him,to help me not to.but in the end I yielded to the flesh. and we played cat and mouse for the last four months..IT WAS NOT WORTH IT!!! satan came in and stole everything I had been belIeving God for and the guy left with his girlfriend. …yes I knew he had one….but my own lust for what I wanted entered in and blinded me ….I feel a whole lot better talking about it now…today God gave me a dream that he would go on with his girlfriend and I would be left. …but its okay. ..better to receive this warning and be able to leave cut and dry than to go on in foolishness and sin against God that could lead to a,whole lot worse. ..thanks for letting me get this out.. I feel 100% better and thanking God for my Victory! Now I can help others like you ladies and walk in my REAL Call of destiny!

    • :(

      OMG I’m so glad I found this blog, you have no idea. I read your story and I immediately felt a connection. I am recently divorced and during the ends of my marriage, I started seeing this guy. At first it was just a physical thing with no feelings involved, but he kept doing things to make our “thing” relationship like. I fought it for a while, but I kept seeing him because it felt so right. He eventually kept asking me to come over and even asked if i wanted to move in and I really considered it, but like something was not going to go right. So eventually I gave inland started acting as if I was his girlfriend, I practically lived there, we went to work together, gym, and even cooked together. Some times on the weekend we’d stay in locked up in our room watching movies, joking, and laughing all day. It was wonderful. But then, one day he told me that he didn’t want to hurt me, but he was still in love with his ex. I was hurt. My heart was crushed, but I sucked it up and told him it was over and that we could end this. He said he didn’t want to and went on about how he didn’t want to lose me and that he cared about me a lot but he was still in love with his ex. I decided that I would grab all of my stuff and leave. So I did. I told him that I understood what he was going through and that I totally understood how he was feeling and that he should talk to her and try to work it out. In the back of my mind, i didn’t really mean it, but I felt like that was what he needed to here. So over the next few days he continued to message me and tell me about how he might be making a mistake and it broke my heart even more. All I could think was that he was stringing me along. So I told him that we should both move on and he said we shouldn’t because he didn’t want to lose me. We talked and talked, but i don’t think either of us really expressed our true feelings because we only talked through text. Today we talked because he was going home to talk to her and I felt myself feeling rather bitter so I said some mean things. then I asked him to tell me the truth about things and he stopped replying. I figured it was because I had said a few negative things, but it truly broke my heart all over again. Now I’m just confused. I know I need to let him go completely, because he’s doing nothing but causing me grief, but I don’t know how to do it and I really have no one to talk to.

      • julie

        Feels good to have someone to talk to. Your story is helping me….let’s be chat friends

      • julie

        Be strong

    • Julie

      I relate. I am in a stale lifeless marriage. Over 25 years. Christian woman too. I stepped out of my marriage for relief and comfort. Leaving me to do things I am not proud of. Claimed to get divorce when kids grew up and they have. Met someone he 6 myths ago,wasn’t interest but he pursued me.he assumed I was free because I am in a sense bcuz my husband won’t take me anywhere, spend time with me, gives no emotional or affection. Anyway, after a few mini dates I told my friend I was married but it was a dead marriage and I wanted a divorce. He was hurt but said we were OK and would go slow through it together. He was married for 20 yes divorced now for 4 yes. I thought things were fine until one week ago we were plannj g to do something special for my birthday, time passed a d he wouldn’t take my calls, I was confused. He answered my text saying he is careful not to get too involved with a legally attached person,and feels uncomfortable. I wasnt and not in love with in. But I felt we could build in that, he tells me to get my business straight, and he’s not saying goodbye, we will always be friends. I feel he deserted. I am trying to move on,dreading having a sad Christmas. Living a fake life around people.. Talk to me a anybody

  • leolfrof@gmail.com

    I read this blog and it helps me a lot. First and foremost allow me to tell you my story. I am a christian woman who is still moving on. I met my ex on Google when I browsed and his profile picture captured my attention since he is holding the bible.I told to myself I want to learn from this man because i think he is full of wisdom . In short I added him and he chatted me the same day too. he told me that he is from new zealand and looking for a wife. humbly speaking while on the conversation he find me beautiful and he think that i am a good girl for him which i acknowledged as a fault because i quickly jump into a relationship with him.The Bible says :for those who rush things are a fool and destruction at the end.

    I was blindly captured by his sweet promises during that time , we agreed that he will go to my country to meet me , but his mom decided to go last may 2015 to see me and she got a ticket for him and for his sister. I didn’t demand and told him that I think november is good so that we will know each other thoroughly but his mom insisted to visit me. as a human being I am excited also during that time and when I consulted my loved ones they were hesitant to agree for the idea since i didn’t know them well plus they came from different country , because I am a hardheaded and my feelings overruled me during that time i still insisted that it’s good and they are also a christian. my faults again were:they are oneness pentecostal who didnt believe in the trinity and the return of the Lord Jesus Christ but i still accepted it though I know the true doctrine of salvation. secondly , I didn’t researched about his past , about the girls that his family dumped as well. and lastly , i was overwhelmed that I forget the will of God in my life and din’t remember Him in the entire relationship and even committed lots of sins .

    They arrived here and we met , he promised a lot , marrying me , go back here again. He left with tears and so I am.He even promised to my family and friends.

    few days after he went back to his country , his patience towards communication became lesser and lesser , His decision relied always to his mom and dad, my mom and dad said , my parents told me. he has many ambitions , to have a beautiful home , lots of money and many more that suffocates me totally since i only want a simple life . until we had some arguments that ended up in crying for me and yelling on his part because i want to talk and he doesn’t .

    until one day that his parents told him that we should move on because it’s the best for both of us and he should stabilize first his life according to his dad. i was surprised , i cried and he console me and said that okay we will not break up. Hoping that the relationship works though it’s toxic already we decided to continue for a month still until his parents again told us that we should move on instead and start a new life. i prayed before i left him , tears in my eyes while doing it. why did they did it to me? what is my fault? they said that I should look someone here and long distance relationship sucks. i told them , i can come up with myself there , i don’t need your money . they refused and i felt like a rags that after they use me they throw me away. i have a lot of explaination but his parents wanted us to move on easily. I asked him why you should rely your decisions in your life from your family? he said they are wise , we should listen to a wise counsel.I told him , I have nothing to do with your family.

    i moved on , his last message that still lingering in my mind until now is: undo everything I already moved on and so are you. I truly have.he said that after 2 days. : so painful.

    God is good he helped me and had some good times with my churchmates and dwell in the verse that all things work together for good. Romans 8:28.

    I have my feeling that his mom find someone for him there , I assumed that and her nationality is like with mine as well , during that time i have no evidences and only in my head are vivid imaginations until one time I saw a video of his engagement to other girl and the one that i imagined was perfectly happened. it’s only one month since we broke up and i found it so stupid and idiot. I watched the whole video and didn’t cry i am shaking and said: Lord please do the justice for me ind due time in Jesus name Amen!. afterwards i went to my friend’s house and upon arrival I hugged him and cried. I also called my family and cried ans said: I didnt cry because of the love that I have for him I cried because i felt that they betrayed me , abandoned me and cheated on me. it was only happened yesterday actually. I now realize that my ex didnt love me but he was only attractive to me and wanted to sleep next to me. my family and friends were very angry and they want to kill him. but I said that give it to God and he will settle the score someday.My brother is a police officer and he wanted to discipline him. I dont know if they research the place but I live nearby to the place of the girl as well.

    I can’t sleep last night actually the video is still lingering in my mind but I prayed and prayed and sings hymnals. by God ‘s grace i want to move on so quickly , I dont want to trap in this kind of feelings.

    Kindly pray for me. :)

    • Vee

      i wish u can go through this situation

  • Ryan

    2 weeks ago a girl I loved more than any1 ever, said let’s be friends. I was devastated. Have been having morning tremors and irregular sleep for 2 weeks. The sadness is so bad, but seems to go away only when she text me back as friends. She was divorced, and holding back, I have never married and gave my full heart. I miss her and her 3 kids so much. Now I just can get by with hoping to say hi at church. I changed my whole lifestyle around her, lost 20lbs, changed my music, so much, and now I’m home alone and can’t reenter my single lifestyle very good. I can’t even think about any other girl. When the pain hit’s hard in the morning, I feel like i have to be around someone to ease the pain. It’s hard. I know I don’t need medicine, as when she replies by text, all the pain goes away for a day. Im hoping to wean from her with little steps.

    • SJS

      I feel you brother.. I too have just had my girl of my dreams, and the first woman I ever loved this much in 46 years of life finally tell me “I don’t want you to contact me anymore, for both of our sake”..

      God I’m in paid and I don’t know how I’ll ever get over her.

    • Anonnymous4

      Hey Ryan i just started to go thru what your going and i feel your pain bro. I started dating this girl from church shes the pastors daughter and shes divorced because her ex went into drugs and then to jail. Just today in the am she texted me that she cant do it anymore, she said its to much pressure, she said its not from me that im awesome and that when shes with me everything feels good. But she just cant. Now im hurt and still have to see her at church. I told her i would respect her decision and that i felt peace but that only lasted for a bit it just started to hit me. That pain hope it goes away soon

      • Ryan

        Hang in there Anon4. The update I have is not good. I’m learning men handle heartbreak wayyy worse than women. Men take it so hard internally when women can shake this sort of thing off which seems kinda cold but it’s just the way it is. The pain of breakup did reduce, but my spirit is still crushed, and motivation and joy is nearly gone. Several times thoughts enter the mind to end it all, but I wont do that. I read the pain must not outweigh the coping abiilty. Also read alot about Oxytocin withdrawal being like real drugs. Much of the time I feel intense emotional pain, I seek out God but seem to get minimal relief. I must have ruminated to 120 people by now, it adds up and people repel after awhile. What is really bad is when you need love the most, like when your depressed, no one is going to want you the most then. It seems not fair that when you need someone the most, it’s the hardest time to find love. It feels like my life is shrinking into a smaller and smaller bubble, cant’ go anywhere or listen to music, or watch any movie as it causes memories and emotion take over. And the worst thing is she wont speak to me and wont’ tell me why, when the last thing she said was she wanted to be freinds. It’s like 2 heartbreaks, one for the relationship, and one for the freindship. Losing the friend part was even harder. Now she made up lies in her head about me and started believing them, when all i ever did was love. She had said I’m too emotional as to the breakup, she would’nt undrestand that it was temporary as that’s what happens when u fall in love.

    • steves

      Hey Ryan, I know exactly how you feel. About 5-6 years ago my ex of 2 years had broken up with me. She was my first everything. I was consumed by depression for 7-8 months. I lost a total of 50 lbs. I couldn’t eat for those months. It was my fault that the relationship ended. Having the feeling of regret is the worst pain. About a year after my breakup I met another woman. Ended up having 2 kids with her, two beautiful boys. Been together for 4 years now just recently the relationship ended. I’m going through it all over again buddy. If I can make it through the first one I can do it with this one and I know you can do the same. God bless.

    • Bethney Ferrill

      Good luck I feel ur pain

    • April

      Hi Ryan,
      I know you wrote this 7 months ago and I hope that you have already moved on. If I read this 7 months ago, I would have scoffed and tell you to be a man. But now that I experienced this kind of pain, I could only shake my head. I fell in love with a guy I hooked up with. How stupid could that be? Unfortunately, I’m just a hook up for him and wanted us to just be friends. At first, I thought that I should just give him time and he’ll eventually fall inlove with me. I changed my whole lifestyle for him too. I gave him everything I could…as in everything. But it’s still the same…. Unrequited love. I started to doubt myself. Am I that unlovable? Am I ugly? Fat? Dark? I started running and lose weight and considered getting fairer skin but I don’t think those are the answers. I just think that I’m not worth loving, period. I became so insecure and also thought of ending it all which of course I didn’t or else I wouldn’t be writing this. I slept a lot too because when I’m sleeping, I don’t think about him and feel anything. When he’s not sending me a message, I felt like my world is slowly crumbling down but just one hi from him, everything changes. I will suddenly feel light and happy. He’s like a drug I couldn’t quit. I’m so drawn to him and I couldn’t get enough of him. How do I move on? I couldn’t sleep and work properly. My friends are all tired hearing from me that I’ll move on but at the next minute I’ll tell them that I’m happy again because he said hi. They told me to cry it all out and pray. I did both but I’m still stuck! When does it end? When will the pain go away? Why do we have to feel this? I have tried to be busy but everytime I stop for even a single second, it’s his face that I see. I think I’m getting crazy or is this normal for someone who loved deeply?

  • Robin Ross

    My boyfriend and I were together for 9 yrs. We lived together. The last 2yrs out sex life dwindled to nothing. He said sex isn’t the most important thing in a relationship. We loved each other had fun times but the home life was getting annoying. I would complain communicate what I needed what bothered me and its like it went in one ear and put the other with him. So long story short and there were other things that brought us to having him move out he did in July. I told him to take what he needed and just go. He moved into his house hevtented out a side by side apt as a tenant has moved out of it. Days went by he then came around we still did things together. I then changed jobs where i am working overnights so I’d sleep in morning and early evening so the time we did spend together was limited and this began to be an issue for him and me. We didn’t talk or see each other much but when we did we always ended the call or day with a kiss hug and I love you. Then 1 day a couple weeks ago I told him I had a feeling he was seeing someone. He did not deny or affirm just said what we can’t talk after I said I’m done I won’t be talking to him anymore. I’m another txt he said he did not know if he had the want or energy for a relationship. Yet he was working on a new one with someone else. Another conversation in txt was he didn’t want To give me false hope he doesnt know Whats going to happen. I told him I don’t take sloppy 2nds. I did not know we had actually broken up at the time. The last I knew he wanted to try and fix our relationship. Not was I fooled. Its been 2wks and my heart is heavy. I have been saying and writing down daily positive affirmations. I pray to God everyday to help me to heal my heart so I may move forward. I cry at the dumbest times. I know this pain will end I wish it would hurry up…

  • Patricia

    I related to step 2 because every question was the question I asked myself…..it made me realize that somethings that we go through in life is just to be. Very simple.

  • Vee

    u see what the problem is ?
    That boy doesnt good for you !
    Focus on ur self now, be a better person.
    Let see who had a bad attitude

  • Gamer Gamer

    I agree, very well put. every hope of a text or email is like waiting for your pusher to bring whatever. Let go, move on, there is nothing else to do. the 50yo woman above rounded it up nicely. It doesn’t make it easier, but hoping for news makes it way harder to let go. A woman who tells you lets be friend doesn’t want you, and whatever her reasons are, it doesn’t matter. 43 yo who went thru this as well.

    • Don

      I mostly agree with the statement about “let’s be friends” but I take it a step further by adding some secret meanings to the phrase.

      First, she knows she is hurting you, and believes that this softens the blow (when in fact it makes it worse because you hang on to that friendship idea). She does not intend friendship, she just wants not to feel guilty.

      Second, she may be worried about your reaction. It is easy to become angry and bitter and lash out at her. Her suggestion may be code for “please don’t hate me”.

      Finally, I believe that in today’s society, the meaning of the word “friend” has become diluted and confused. After all, in the online community, if you have never met someone or spoken with them, but sent them a cat video, you can be their “friend”. I recently had a woman tell me (before we ever dated) that she wanted to be friends. I assumed that meant she wanted to spend time with me…but later I discovered that was out of the question.

    • Sonya

      Yes, it’s the waiting, hoping and looking for that one email from him that drives me crazy. And then, the huge let down and disappointment, both in him and myself, washes over me when I finally give in to the flesh and look….and nothing is there…

  • A Healing Heart

    I am just seeing this blog. I relocated to another state the 1st of October leaving behind a man I had been in a complicated on/off relationship with for almost 5 years. At times during our relationship we would attempt to seperate ourselves from each but it would never last very long. We always found our way back to each other. Unfortunately, the complications weren’t things to be changed which made everything MORE complicated. I am 13 years older divorced with 2 children. He is from another country with parents expecting him to marry from his country and had kids. We loved each other very much but it was difficult to navigate. There was serious talk about him moving to me and I really hoped he would. Moving away would have given us time to connect with each without outside pressure and influence. Unfortunately, that would never happen. We were in contact but he was trying to remain distant because talking to me was too difficult. Then on January 1st I learned he’d gotten married a week earlier and he never told me. You could tell it was wedding was rushed and the wedding pic looked like he was with his cousin. He wasn’t even touching her! Needless to say, he’s married. He blocked my number and won’t respond to my voice mails. It’s been 3 weeks and some days are better then others but there is always something missing no matter how good things are. Hopefully time will heal my heart too.

  • Katelyn

    Okay…so my best guy friend of 10 years left me for his new girlfriend I’m 15 and he’s 14 and she’s 16 me and him aren’t really allowed to date but he does anyway I confronted him that he hurt me by doing this and he said he was sorry but he keeps hurting me by ignoring me we use to have feelings for each other but we stopped I still kinda like him but there’s some one eles in my life any way I’m don’t know why he left me and I feel like I can’t talk to him anymore HELP everyone I talked to has gone through this but is not giving me and “instruction Manuel” of what to do like I want lol If anyone can help I would love it

  • Dalibor Zivic

    Was married for 3 years but (un)fortunatelly going through a divorce now. I am so hurt, heart broken and sad but also pissed off at myself for opening my heart to her. I’m 35 and she is 33. The very first time we met I thought she was physically attractive but I wasn’t looking for anything serious so I gave her a cold shoulder. Few weeks later she persuaded me into a date, we had a lot of fun on that date, we laughed and talked over a dinner . She also told me that her family is Muslim and that was a huge concern for me because I’m an Eastern-European-American Christian man and my family follows the Christian Orthodox religion so I didn’t know how they would react. I have always been honest and open with her so I told her this. I told myself let’s do everything right from the beginning, no secrets, no bs. So I told her that I don’t want drama and that there is potential for it if we date considering she is a Muslim. Her response was that she is not religious at all and that she was only born a Muslim but has never practiced it. I still had my concerns and once again I told her honestly how I feel. I talked to my family about it and they gave me a blessing and said we will support you no matter what as long as you are happy. I was so freaking happy and excited to have my family’s support and so was she. We got married after only dating for 7 months , everything was going well , we seemed very happy and we both had similar goals for the future. I did ask her before we got married if she would be willing to get baptized in a Christian church even if she doesn’t want to practice because it would mean so much to me. She agreed, we even made plans to have 2 weddings , one at the city hall and in the future when we save up little bit of money at some small Christian church overlooking the Adriatic see in Europe. Few months after being married arguments started, she suddenly was much more concerned with her career then us. She even said love is not the most important thing in a relationship because love doesn’t pay the bills BUT I was a small business owner and there was no reason for her to go after a new carrer, I asked her to find a job that makes her happy no matter what she gets paid and that we will be fine. Well she didn’t want to do that, she accepted a new position at work and was now suddenly traveling every month for a week or so all over the USA. It made me upset, I wanted my wife and didn’t want to lose her every month for a week or two. The arguments got so bad that she would scream and yell and one time even hitting me , off course I was upset and I yelled back but the day she hit me I realized that I need to get out of this or one of us will end up in jail or worst. I told her the next day that I want to move out as I no longer saw the point, my wife wasn’t there anymore. She was upset that I’m leavin her but didn’t really try talking me out of it, she just screamed and yelled and cussed at me. I moved out and was heart broken but as the time passed by I was able to move on and find my happiness again. 4 months after our separation (not divorce) she started contacting me and eventually we sat down and talked and not sure why (I guess emotions) we decided to give it another try. I thought something was wrong with me and that I had insecurities as she would tell me “what’s wrong with you, what man wouldn’t want his wife to be such a great worker and wants to make the money?” … And I off course don’t mind my wife making money but I do mind having to lose her for a week or so every month. So I talked myself into being open minded and accepting her new role and that everything is going to be okay. Once again I was completely honest towards her thinking she has realized what she had lost and will change (as she promised) , after all I am an honest, non cheating man who is also a hard worker. In October of 2015 I was crushed to find out my business partner was stealing from me (our company) so I was a mess, I was hurt and very upset. I decided to get out of the business with him and start one on my own. He wasn’t only my business partner but my best friend and the best man at our wedding. I fell in depression as I couldn’t believe he did that to me, I was really hurt especially since for 5 years I have put a lot of hard work into that business. Well I opened up to my wife again , saying I need your support and some help, I feel defeated and depressed because of what happened and her response was “don’t be a p*s*y , man up, everybody goes through some shit in life” so even thought I was hurt by her response I tried just moving on but I couldn’t. It effected the start of my new business as I lost a lot of motivation and was constantly dwelling on the fact that my best friend screws me over and stole from me. Any time I asked my wife for support her response was something like stfu and do something about it and as much as I wanted to I couldn’t, depression took over me and I was pretty much useless. I asked her to please just give me some mental support and that I will be back on my feet in no time BUT instead she felt that I am no longer up to her standards (being depressed and all) so she asked for a divorce. I was crushed, I couldn’t breath, I thought I was going to die or killmyself , how can anybody’s heart handle all this at the same time, I lose my business (sold my shares to ex best friend) , lose my best friend/best man, fell into depression, barely enough money to survive and now on the top of it my wife left me and doesn’t want anything to do with me. Today is the Valentine’s Day and I had made reservations 6 months ago for us at this awesome reataurant and when I received an email yesterday reminding me of that I broke down. I still love her even though she obviously doesn’t love me but I can’t help it, my heart misses her and I think about her 24/7. Why am I hurting so much when it is obvious that she doesn’t deserve me? Why can’t I just move on knowing that even if she came back I will not take her back? She has poisoned my heart and more importantly my mind and I don’t know how to get over it? Btw, my new business is doing good but I almost don’t care , all I want is my wife even though she has became a cold hearted biazntch … So I know she is no good for me and I know she can’t be trusted yet all I think about is her. It is driving me crazy and it is really effecting my mental health, I don’t know what to do because I moved into a different town to have some sort of change but I have no family or friends here and all I do is sit on my couch and think about her. I love her so much and she doesn’t care, am I just a weak person or what do you suggest (anyone)? Thank you so much and God Bless you!

    • Paco

      Hang in there buddy- life puts you through certain tests at times..have faith that God is just removing the negatives from your life-he sees that you are a good person- and this is a blessing. Stay strong!

    • steves

      I believe you’re afraid to be alone. Go exercise, boost your self esteem so you can go out and find a new woman. You also need a friend or family member that you can confide your feelings to. It helps. Good luck and God bless.

  • Don

    I fell inlove with a this guy who Ive grown very close with we were just friends in the beginning we hung out everyday every second it was like I was the female version of him, while were just friends he had a gf but they broke up we grew closer and hung out more we fell inlove with each other was the most beautiful thing iv ever experienced but we tried being together plenty of times & it never worked because he was still inlove wit his ex :( ive been dealing wit this guy for 4 yrs now & thts my bestest friend but he couldn’t make it work I tried to show him how to love & it didn’t work & now I’m sitting here depressed and heart broken cause I tried to show someone how to love me the way I wanted them to love me & all along they just loved the idea of me being aroun #brokenheartedgirl

  • kyliekay

    Hi,

    My boyfriend and I broke up 4 months ago due to a lot of issues & priorities. We’ve been fighting almost everyday and in the end he told me that he would want to focus on his family since he is the breadwinner, and he cannot include me in his priorities. I even told him that I will support him in everything but he rejected me and hung up the phone, never talked to me again. 3 months after we broke up, we saw each other again through a friend. He seemed so nice to me and he even offered to drive me home, but I think he’s just doing it just to show his friends that he has moved on already. It was my birthday a week ago and he greeted me over chat. We had a small talk about work but that’s just it.

    Now I’m so confused. I’m in the healing process already until I saw him again and all the pain and anger came back :'(. It’s more painful. I’m even questioning God why do I have to see him after a few months. I’m about to heal but why did He let things happen, why do I have to talk to him again. :( I’m feeling depressed and I can’t move forward.

    • Joe Cooper

      Understand your depression. We broke up just the other day after I was used for 2.5 years and slaved for her continually and never went out. Tried to make her happy. But just remember, the purpose of dating is to develop a love for someone and find out if they are compatible or not. It’s to find out what kind of person they are. So if you were to marry someone like that and he acts the way he does and you’re miserable after just a few months, think what years of a marriage would be like. Find a mature person.

  • Chelsey

    I was just recently broken up with. I was with my boyfriend for two years, but I had known him since I was with my ex boyfriend. I hurt him pretty bad at that time because he wanted to be with me but I was still with my ex at that point. I finally out a stop to that relationship and jumped into it with my now current ex boyfriend. I fell deep in love and cherished him to the fullest. I had a lot of trust issues though. I noticed he had a lot of friends that were girls and it really bugged me. I would constantly think he was talking to them and I let it ruin our relationship. I always accused him of looking at other woman.. Over the summer, we went to a bar and I accused him of dancing with another woman when he wasn’t. I knew he didn’t but I felt he was to close to her..we got into this huge blowout fight and he told me that it’s over, that once our lease is up were done. After that night I thought we mended everything back together. We continued to live together and I thought we were okay. Here and there I would accuse him and we’d have some fights. So recently, I thought he was on his phone a lot and would be up late texting. I called him on my lunch break from work and asked him about it. We got into a fight and he was acting really harsh with me. I got home and he wouldn’t talk to me, I asked him if he wanted to break up with me and he said honestly he doesn’t know. He finally sat me down and told me that he fell out of love. That he loves me but isn’t in love with me. I feel like my heart is shattered into a million pieces, I can’t stop crying and being emotional. I haven’t been able to eat and I have this ball feeling in my stomach. I’ll be okay for a second and then all the memories come rushing back in. How can someone fall out of love and throw out all those amazing memories? I just feel so lost and I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want it to stop..

    • Ola

      How are you doing now? Im going through the exactly same thing. Accusing etc…

  • lisa

    i feel your pain . i also feel broken the pain is so bad , i just want it to stop i feel like i cant breathe .

  • matt

    I recently just had a short relationship after 5 years of being single. I’m 30 and don’t want to live where I live, and met the most beautiful woman who wanted to move away and loved me for me. I found it hard to believe that she could love me, because I am shy and quiet and weird. The circumstances for us meeting were too unreal. The entire relationship, I was constantly worried that she didn’t care, when it was all in my head. Too many things happened to make me wonder. We shared so many common interests and looking back, I can see how unbelievably perfect it was. I hurt her and never got the chance to apologize, and I don’t know how to forgive myself. I feel like I’ve put myself in a living Hell. I feel like God gave me this loving woman, and I was blinded by self-hatred, and couldn’t see it. I don’t know how to stop thinking about it. I barely sleep, or eat. I don’t enjoy anything and being at work (a new job) with people I don’t know is very hard. There are too many things to remind me of this girl everywhere I go…. I just want to to feel okay and be happy. I know feeling like this is bad for me and everyone around me. I just want to stop crying…

    • Ola

      How are you doing now man? :) Me and my my girlfriend broke up yesterday, i feel like i wanna commit suicide.. so i know how you feel. The main reason was that i could never trust her. She always made me insecure with things, so eventually it got overboard.. But how are you doing now?

    • steves

      I hope you’re doing okay. The feeling of despair is the worst. I went a 7-8 months of barely eating losing 50lbs. Constantly dreaming of being back in the relationship filled with joy just to wake up and realizing it wasn’t real. I had a friend I talked to every day he helped me get through it. You need a friend you can confide to about this. Don’t go through this alone. God bless.

  • Inkling #1

    About 5 months ago I asked a girl ( that I had loved for over 3 years ) to be my GF. She said yes and I think I passed out 5 minutes later. But then one month ago, at a school dance she broke up with me. So, I did what any heart broken guy would do. I went in the bathroom and I cried the whole time.and to this day, I am still depressed???

    • Don

      I want you to know you are not alone, we all react that way (crying and sadness). But more importantly, I want you to know that time really does heal this. Over a period of 10 years, the same woman broke my heart three times. Still I am glad to have experienced loving her, and I smile inside when I think of her. So Inkling, it will be better!

  • Katt

    I was in a 14 yr relationship and out the blue my life just did a 360 turn. He left me then about 2 months later he came back I was happy again then about a month later he left again moved to another city live with a girl but tell me I can’t date I feel so sad and empty besides the joy I get from my kids I don’t what I do but I’m very lonesome

  • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine

    So glad you are reaching out for help. It sounds like you are in an abusive relationship. Some of the signs of an abusive relationship are the alienation (isolating you from friends), verbal abuse, and manipulation. Here is a blog about abusive relationships – http://www.thehopeline.com/8-abusive-dating-relationships/ It helps to talk about it. HopeCoaches are available on chat 24/7. http://www.thehopeline.com/chat-now/ It is free and confidential. We care about you!

  • Don

    Oh dear Rosh I am sorry! Now he is showing you his true nature, whereas before he was able to mask that with his charm in order to win you over. There is no magic wand of course…so please do whatever is needed to end this hurtful relationship. Build a support group by reaching out to your old friends, co-workers, family and a counselor. You know that you are desirable and worthy of the best possible relationship with a man that will nurture your soul. I wish you well Rosh.

  • chris

    Rosh
    What you just described is my whole relationship with him.I caught Him Cheating And I Knew that I could never trust him again. I asked him to move out and he packed his things however he’s still keeping a here however he’s not staying here anymore His priorities were his friends and drinking. He blames me for the relationship going south because I am not trusting however actions speak louder than words when I approached him about the cheating he had no remorse and nothing to say I knew I could not be walked all over like this and my life has completely changed but I’m hoping that it will get better

  • tvance

    Great post on getting over a broken heart. I know that energy healing also helps a person feel at ease again when the sharp jabs of pain is relieved.

  • steves

    You and I are on the same boat……..But if I learned from my first heart break it is to give that person space. Give him or her time to think. If you’re being persistent on getting back together it will only drive him/her away. It gets annoying and pathetic. Trust me I know. The love is still there. You just have occupy yourself and do your own thing. When it’s time to talk it out then it will be a fresh start. I hope you feel better.

  • Joe Cooper

    Rosh, google the word “narcissist” or “traits of narcissists”. Also search for it on youtube. It may answer your questions. Do it. These types of people are very dangerous and can bring you down.

  • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine

    Thanks for sharing honestly. You are not alone. We are here for you. It sounds like the two of you will need to go through some counseling together. Sometimes people can’t tell the truth, because they are afraid that if you knew who they “really” were you wouldn’t love them. Please contact one of our HopeCoaches to talk more about this. We are here 24/7 and all chats are free and confidential. http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
    We also have a free eBook on cheating that you can download. http://info.thehopeline.com/relationshipscheating-ebook
    Please contact us! We care about you.

    • Gamer Gamer

      it sounds like you still love him. so, forgive him and move on. its not the end of the world you know, there are much worse things in life than people having sex. it breaks the trust you had in him, but this can be rebuilt.

  • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine

    I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not alone. It helps to talk to someone who is not in the situation. Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches. All chats are free and totally private. We can help you walk through this. Please contact us anytime 24/7 http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
    Here is a youtube video of someone who was helped by a HopeCoach. It really does work. Chat with us.
    https://youtu.be/JBVezZV60ng

  • Lady Margrett

    I just found out my love of 10years married someone else. Today I feel numb. Work has really helped me keep my mind off stuff, but there are those hours or minutes when tears just fall. Worst is the fact that I cannot express myself to anyone. He said the marriage was by force, he says that he’ll make it right. But I don’t want to expect too much. I know I can no longer love him. But it’s just too sudden. I have not yet recovered.

    • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine

      That is devastating news. I am so sorry. Thanks for sharing. We are here for you 24/7 anytime you want to chat with a HopeCoach online. It is free and private – http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We are here for you!

  • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine®

    Long distance relationships can be really difficult. We are here if you want to talk about it. Chatting with a HopeCoach is totally free and confidential. http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • leolfrof@gmail.com

    It is very difficult. if you want to talk about something I am willing to help because God helped me as well during those perilous times of my life

  • Jimmy

    I’m 23 and just got dumped by my 21 year old girl after we decided to go on a break. During the ‘break’ I was fine because I thought we would get back together but she decided she didn’t like me as much anymore. I reacted badly and begged and begged her to get back with me which I think made things worst. Now I found out she’s already seeing another guy (it’s literally been only a month or so) and I’m still hurting like crazy even though she said she liked me so much and the reason she wanted to break up was so she could be alone and find to love herself which turned out to be a big fat lie! It hurts even more now

    • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine®

      Wow, that really hurts. I am sorry you are going through this. If you want to chat our HopeCoaches are available 24/7 and it’s free. http://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/ We are here for you!

  • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine®

    That is awesome that you had the courage to pack up and get out! It sounds like you were in a very emotionally abusive relationship. Check out this blog about abuse. It may give you some additional insight. You are on the right track to getting your life back. If you want to chat, we are here for you 24/7 at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
    http://www.thehopeline.com/abuse-in-relationships-can-turn-into-tragedy/

  • Gamer Gamer

    it happens sometimes. you forgot who you are. and you forgot because you probably lived for him and what was important for you was is happiness. so, the self, yourself, disappeared in a way. you have to find back who you are. Meditation can help, walk in nature, ask for help etc.

  • Gamer Gamer

    well, looks like your self esteem took a hit. tell yourself that you are a wonderful person and you deserve better. its not easy, time helps, but changing your thoughts will help a lot faster, good luck.

  • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine®

    Being betrayed by the person you have trusted the most is definitely one of the hardest things to experience. It’s like experiencing a death because you are grieving the lost dreams, relationship, and love. If you want to chat about it, we are here for you 24/7 http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • Kathy

    My boyfriend broke up with two days after we went on an amazing date he had planned. I have been with this guy for 5 years and out of the blue he said he doesn’t love me anymore and that we should just be friends nothing more. I’m so heart broken, I can’t sleep I get chills like I’m sick. I’ve been crying all day and night to where I get a headache and I haven’t eaten in almost 24 hours its like I lost my will to do anything. He was really my whole world I pretty much workshoped this guy and now I feel so lost.

  • Bethney Ferrill

    In May of last year I developed breast cancer long story short it’s spread. My husband of 13 years decided he couldn’t handle the stress of my cancer and him working and decided work was more important. I’m not from here I have no family and no friends. I am still battling cancer alone my heart is broken and I feel like it’s best if I just give up and not do treatment anymore. I’ve never felt so alone and so heartbroken in my life he’s been gone for five months But the wounds are still fresh. I don’t know what to do anymore.

    • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine®

      I can’t even begin to imagine the devastation of your husband leaving when you are battling cancer. We do not want you to feel alone. We are here to help and to encourage you. Please chat with us anytime 24/7 http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • Very sad

    I really wish it were that easy. I consider myself to be someone with a very strong mind but I don’t seem to be able to stop hurting. I was married when I was 19 we have 4 children and now after 26 years of marriage he has called it over. All the talking, yelling and crying doesn’t stop the hurting from the dream of growing old together.

    • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine®

      I am so sorry you are having to go through this. There is so much to grieve over the loss of dreams and the end of a life together plus the pain of watching your children deal with it, too. If you would like to for someone to offer up prayers on your behalf we have a partner website, http://www.theprayerzone.com/ I can’t even begin to imagine the feelings of loss and betrayal.

  • Steve

    I loved some one so deeply and they told me they loved me and that i was the most important thing to them, only to find out they have been sending pictures of themself to someone else and carrying on a relationship. i am devastated. I asked her to please just tell me and I would not get in the way if ever they wanted to leave, but they would lie and lie and lie. Now I am so crushed I can’t even breathe.

  • Jasmine Williams

    I’m a 22 year old woman I just got dumped from a 3 year relationship they left me for another woman I tried so hard to make things work I gave my all even when I knew he was doing wrong ….
    I’m heart broken I know I’m young but I thought that was the person I would spend the rest of my life with. …
    I can’t eat I can’t sleep the thoughts won’t stop my heart races every time I think of the other woman I don’t know why I deserve this

  • dyana

    Breaking up is hard! I’m dealing with one now. I feel physically sick

  • EddieE

    I just broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years. The main cause was her drinking. Many knew that she had a problem. I asked her many times to cut down and even stop. It got to the point where I couldn’t continue with our relationship. I know we can’t get back together and I am so heart broken. I tried along with members of her family to get her to quit. I feel as if I wasn’t good enough to get her to stop.

    • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine®

      Addiction is very powerful. Please know that it is not about whether you were good enough to get her to stop. One of the things they say about alcohol is that it is “cunning, baffling, and powerful.” We have a free eBook that goes into more detail – http://info.thehopeline.com/substanceabuse-ebook We are also here for you if you want to talk to us about it anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine®

    That is definitely a lot of heartache for you and your children. It is definitely a grieving process, but you can get through it. Thankfully you and your children have each other. If you want to talk we are here for you 24/7 – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine®

    What a horrible thing for him to do to you. Please don’t think of yourself as the other woman, because you didn’t even know what he was doing. What he did was very wrong. If you want to talk about it we are here for you 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • Jj

    My husband has been having flirtatious relationships with various women pretty much the entire time we’ve been together. He says it’s because I push and push and accuse him of cheating that he cheated. I hurt so bad. I want the pain to go away. I’m literally only here still because of my 6 month of daughter. I hurt more than I’ve ever hurt before. I’ve been divorced before.. he was emotionally and physically abusive. I would rather be beat up to the point of bleeding then feel the way I do right now. I just want to die but I refuse to leave my daughter. She is my miracle baby. I just can’t get over this pain. I hurt so bad.

  • http://quickneasyrecipes4u.blogspot.com/ Stacy Deason

    May be you loved your partner with full heart and soul, but it doesn’t mean that every relation will last. Everything that happens, happens for a reason and happens for good, this is the most important thing one should keep reminding himself, so no matter what happens, take it positively.

  • Holly

    I feel like complete garbage. I’ve had my heart broken by like 20 people because of my attachment issues. I never want to date many people or hook up with anyone unless I like them, and once I do, I get desperate and would love for them to want me, and that desperation drives them away. It’s like an endless cycle of misery and disappointment. And once again I’m in this position but this one was one of the worst. I dated a guy for about a month and ended up meeting his friend and I swear it was like love at first sight. I’ve never felt that way before and I didn’t know what to do about it. I dated that guy for 8 months constantly struggling with trying to get over his friend but I couldn’t. We also had so many problems in our relationship and I had to end it. I tried to pursue the friend, and he told me liked me but I was such a wreck from my last relationship that I scared him away and it was never the same. This happened last March. My crush lived close to my college but would never see me because he said he was too busy. We talked on and off for over a year and there wasn’t a second that I didn’t think about him because he is literally my clone and I KNOW that we would be a perfect match if he had given me a chance. There were a few times where he’d ask me to hangout but then back out and I would flip out because I was so tired of waiting. He would hit on girls online and that hurt too. Last summer he ended up in a relationship I had no clue about, and casually told me about it in October, thinking I wouldn’t care. It BROKE my heart that he forgot how much I liked him. He said he was sorry but continued the same behavior and I ended up holding myself back in hopes of him coming around and he never did for all of those months up until now. In April, I told him how I felt and he said he wasn’t looking for a relationship but if the right girl came around then sure and that was like taking a bullet. I was so hurt I cut him off again. My heart was still set on him though. I really felt like he was my perfect match but my attachment issues fucked a lot of things up and now he hates me. Yesterday I found out he has a girlfriend now and this is the last shot in the heart I’m going to take. I just feel like I lost myself. I am such a hopeless romantic that I’m desperate for it. I really feel like I lost a perfect match for me and I wasn’t even given a real chance. That’s all I wanted. I’m broken :'(

  • Tanrrence West

    I have been single for about 2 years now and since then I have been feeling lost I feel like I’m losing my mind I have pretty much started pushing my closes friends away and I don’t know how to handle my situation it feels like my heart is breaking even more than it did before and I don;t know how to repair it I really don’t and it hurts me so much i thought I could overcome this I thought I was stronger than the pain that I have been feeling over the last couple of months and I don’t lnow what to do I need advice

    • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine®

      I am sorry you have been struggling with this heartache. It is good that you are reaching out for help. Don’t walk through this alone. Chat with one of our HopeCoaches. It’s free and private. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • Nicole

    I need some advice. So I was with my ex for almost 3 years and we split for a year. During that time he dated 5 other girls, one including my best friend. After, we worked things out and we tried dating a second time. It was difficult because I was away for school and he was back home. While I was in school, we talked about moving in together and even a possible engagement. When there was only 2 weeks left of school, he broke up with me to hook up with another girl. Once I made it home, it was too late because he moved out of state. We follow each other on social media, but he cut all ties. He will not talk to me. He is acting as if I do not exist. It’s been a total of 2 months now, and it is killing me. We share a bond because we almost had a child together and faced many other hardships, and emotionally I do not understand why he left without saying anything. I guess I am confused and heartbroken and in need of advice.

  • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine®

    It sounds like he was emotionally abusive. Isolating you from your friendships and making you think you are the one with the problem are both signs of abuse. It is natural to grieve that he is gone even if he wasn’t good for you or your children. We are here to support you if you want to chat more about it. We are here 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • Amy

    I broke up with my boyfriend about 5 days ago and I have a full-time job so it keeps me busy but every time I come back to the place we shared together and it’s so lonely. I can’t stand to be here for very long periods what’s worse is that he hasn’t totally moved out and he’s living in the basement and locked himself in there. He has stonewalled me and I’ve asked him questions about some suspicious things and he’s never answered them…. in the four years we’ve been together I’ve always used my denial tool which proved to be detrimental to me lingering feeling of deception and I couldn’t find peace in our relationship and now that he’s going….. I’m lost and I pray but it doesn’t help because maybe I’m self-centered and feeling sorry for myself I’m hoping that the day comes real soon where I can smile again and find new adventures and people too take up the time in my life that I need for I need to be social.
    What’s hardest of all is knowing that I may never understand what happened and I may never know whether he was fooling around .he’s got PTSD and he’s been in the service for a long time and it could be some side effects from that but all in all my gut feeling in my heart tells me that this needs to happen…. to end unfortunately I still can’t see a future for myself and I’m hoping for that real soon.

  • Feb

    It hurts so much I dint even realize how much I was attached to him until the breakup now I feel like my world is crumbling. I live alone and the weekends out of work are the worst days I just do not have the strength to move on every minute i am tempted to text or call him but i know for my own sanity i need to get away from him for i discovered he has been cheating all this while he does not seem to mind the break up he seems just his normal self drinking with his friends and going to spend the nights at his new catch place. it hurts I have to watch this everyday, i cant move now because its quite expensive and i was saving for a project that i do not want to give up. I blame myself maybe i should have fought harder ignore the other women maybe i should have pretended not to see his behavior i don’t know how to pickup from here i feel wasted we were trying out for a kid what if am pregnant now I never wanted to become a single parent i am so scared of doing a pregnancy test. how do i get over this its like my heart is in a million pieces i am an introvert i do not talk out my issues its just sad.

  • anonymous

    love just does not exist

  • Leeza Shaw

    Yes very true they just break heart actually they are fools

  • Tracey

    I lost the love of my life one year ago and still think of him ever day. We were the perfect couple. The cards he would give me were so full of love and happiness that I would cry when he gave them to me. We moved in together after a year and a half. Everything seemed fine. At Christmas he told me I was his lover, best friend and partner in life. 6 months later he said he was confused about his feelings for me. 3 months after that I moved out. I held it together while still living with him but looking for a place to live. On the day I moved out he wept. I said to him that I would be ok, just don’t throw me away like you would the garbage. He promised he wouldn’t. Never gave me a reason for our split. A couple months later he texted me happy birthday. I tried to text back thank you and he had blocked me from texting him! This has been a year now. Ive tried email just to see how he was doing only to find out from his sister in law that he had a new girlfriend. Happened not long after I moved out so apparently he was phoning someone behind my back. Makes no sense. We were good tobeach other and got along beautifully. Then BAM! He’s gone. I can’t get closure. I dont know how you can love and live with someone then act like they NEVER exsisted. I am still mourning this loss. I dont know how to make it go away.

  • Anonymous

    The girl i love says she doesn’t think it’s nescessary for us to talk anymore. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m broken. I’m lost and it kills me inside seeing her smile and laugh.

  • http://www.thehopeline.com/ TheHopeLine®

    Thanks for sharing these great ideas!

  • Doris Rubinic

    I have been broken with my twenty year relationship for a year now we email. Sometimes he calms from his job I had rebounds and many dates. I told him I had telations with someone else totally not worth it btw. He had t contacted me since. I never stopped living him. But I had rid bits. Now feeling it all over again. I thought I loved so done else I hooked up with drunk four times. He let me down too. Many dates. On fu e online sites. I CAN’t get o we him!!!!

  • Nat

    Hi, I’m going through a heartbreak right now and it’s really excruciating. Haven’t been able to sleep or eat the past few days.. I know time will heal everything and I just can’t wait for the time to fly by to make it better..

    He broke up with me through a lonb test message saying that he doesn’t have the courage to tell me in person.. at the point I lost it and kept bombarding his phone acting like a crazy woman.. regreted it totally.. and ended up for him to block my calls amd messages..

    I know the breakup is for the best for both of us it’s just that I just couldn’t come to terms of it yet.. my heart and chest is really physically hurting. Kept asking myself why.. just 3days ago he told me he loved me so much.. The nexy day broke up with me through a lengthy text message.. and he told me he loved another.. maybe he just wants me to move on for good because circumstances does not allow us to be together.

    I have since deleted his number and messages.. That helps in a way not for me to do stupid embarrassing things..

    I just hope time passes by soon, taking away all the pain and hurt that I am going through right now.
    Deep down I am praying so hard for him to come back but reality is he won’t. It hurts..

    Tomorrow I’ll be removing all our momentos together.. hope I can move on fast..

  • Lizzie

    I thought I was a reasonably, intelligent person. Educated, well liked. I didn’t date for 2 years then let a man into my life. 7 months later I find out he was living with a woman. Our entire relationship was a lie. I’m so embarrassed at myself for being so stupid. He was a professional, had a non profit org against bullying. How ironic….I can’t get closure from him because he will only lie and manuliplate the situation.

  • Dame D

    Man the pain is real! I have been with my girl for 7 years now and we have hit a really hard spot in the relationship. I haven’t been the best boyfriend emotionally. I never cheated on her in the 7 years. I have not shown her as much affection as she would have wanted. Now I just recently found out she is seeing a guy that she says makes her laugh and express himself to her. In her eyes they are just friends. She says she want to work out the relationship with us but continues to hangout with this so called friend of hers. Not sure what to do about this? I know I haven’t been emotionally there for her, but is trying to now, I offered to do more things with her and open up more but she doesn’t want to go anywhere with me I asked her lets do something today she says she is tired or comes up with other excuses. We got into an argument over this and I told her to be with him and left her house. Now she won’t return my text or e-mail it’s only been a few days but my heart is melting away. I’m to the point that I’m just going to give up and let it go. Is it too soon to let it go? She is not responding at all.

  • Trey

    I met a woman online who perused me very aggressively. We dated for about 6 months and then she started bombarding me about getting married and not moving fast enough. She’s a great person to be around, she has two great kids and I enjoyed every minute I spent with her. I was never against getting married, I just thought that we needed more time to explore each other and let our relationship progress. Well after a final weekend at her place, she changed and started being critical of everything I did or said. We then got into a heated conversation because she felt that our relationship wasn’t moving fast enough and she wanted to start dating again. Well we stopped talking completely for two days and when I contacted her again she advised me that she was in a relationship already. As you can imagine, I was devastated and couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I can’t imagine anyone expects someone to move on so fast and to say that they are really interested in someone after only 2 days. After I calmed down, it was obvious to me that she was possibly seeing this person before we actually stopped talking. Over the past few weeks I’ve been angry, confused, unable to sleep, missed a ton of work and not sure how to move forward. Of all the woman I’ve ever dated, I’ve never had these type of feelings pouring out of me when the answer is right in front of me. I want to move on so bad because I know I deserve more, but my heart keeps taking me back to the good times I had with this woman. I recently found out that she has been spending weekends and week nights with her new boyfriend so that really devastated me more. I’m so ready to move on with my life, but I’m not sure how long getting over this will take. It has been a very difficult few weeks and I’m so over it already. If anyone has any remedies to help I’d love to hear them.

  • Dr Anonymous

    I love this…totally…thanks for sharing ( I agree with the needing the occassional ‘fix’…a text … until we can finally walk away and never remember to look back.

  • Smith

    While I understand where this article is coming from and how it can help the people it pertains to, I have heartbreak that comes from a different perspective. I don’t really know how to accurately describe the entire situation other than God slamming a door shut literally 36 hours before I had planned to start. For eight years I waited, prayed, and four year I built a great friendship. Now I am left with an open heart, and no way to express my interest and feelings. The worst part us also the best part, and that is what hurts the most: we are still very close friends. I now have no clue where to go when an open door was closed that abruptly. When I look around all other doors seem like the same thing is going to happen.