Question 1

How to Avoid Substance Abuse if You Hate Yourself

Accepted Answer

You can avoid substance abuse with planning, support, and an understanding of your feelings and needs, including:
Avoiding places and people that are connected with past substance use and abuse
Taking steps to prevent isolation and loneliness
Taking care of your basic needs so you feel calm, cared for, and less compelled to use.
Filling your time with things you enjoy or want to learn more about.
Creating a community/circle of supportive people to help you stay safe.

Question 2

How to Deal with an Alcoholic Sibling

Accepted Answer

Having a sibling who is addicted to alcohol is upsetting, and it is valid to feel hurt when unhealthy behavior related to their addiction impacts you. Being upset doesn’t mean you hate them, and it doesn’t mean you don’t care about their illness. If you feel unsafe talking directly to your sibling about your feelings, a counselor or mentor can help you manage these complicated emotions so you can find greater healing and avoid bottling things up.

Question 3

9 Tips to Tell Your Parents About Your Porn Problem

Accepted Answer

I can’t predict how your parents will respond when you disclose your porn problem to them. However, the effects of porn addiction are far more destructive than coming clean with your parents or a trusted adult. Here are 9 tips for talking with your parents.
1. Tell them when they are most receptive - Wait until they are not hungry or tired and tell them in private.
2. Be truthful. Disclose all pertinent information without going into details. Answer their questions.
3. Give them space to process. Your parents may not understand why looking at porn is a problem.
4. Seek forgiveness. 
5. Ask for help. Most parents want to help their child. 
6. Offer advice. I didn’t understand porn’s effects, and I had no idea how to help my son.
7. Educate. Your parents, like me, may not understand porn’s effects.
8. Be patient. Remember, your parents feel betrayed, and it's hard to trust again. Be willing to answer them over and over. 
9. Keep them informed.

Question 4

How Can I Deal with the Guilt of My Past Without Self-Harming?

Accepted Answer

The Bible says, ". . .there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death" (Romans 8:1-2). Leaning on our faith in God, and getting support from people we trust to help us in our faith and with our mental health can help us heal from the pain of guilt and shame.

Question 5

How to Manage Mental Health Without Self-Harming

Accepted Answer

Finding a healthy distraction is key to stopping cutting or harming yourself. You could try:
- Taking a hot shower or bath to relax your muscles.
- Going for a walk, hike, jog, or run.
- Dancing and/or singing along to your favorite songs until you're feeling better. 
- Watching a funny show or video.
There are things you can do right now to break this harmful cycle.

Question 6

Disordered Eating: Do I Have an Eating Disorder?

Accepted Answer

Eating issues can manifest themselves in many different ways, but there are two extremes: Some people are living on the obsessive side, such as constantly worrying about their weight, meticulously counting calories, compulsively exercising and/or living in fear of eating the wrong thing. Other people struggle with chaotic, out-of-control eating — especially in response to stress or emotional upset – and/or lack any structure or regularity of meals. Many people fall somewhere in between, leaning one way or the other, while others swing back and forth between the two extremes such as with yo-yo dieting. Does any of this sound familiar?

Question 7

How to Stop My Porn Addiction?

Accepted Answer

As long as your addiction to pornography remains a secret, you will continue to be in your addiction. You’ve got to find somebody you can tell your story to, who will mentor you and hold you accountable and talk with you. There are certain triggers that happen when you turn to porn, and you need to find out what those triggers are.

Question 8

What if Someone I Look Up To Is Looking at Porn?

Accepted Answer

If someone you look up to is looking at pornography, it's natural to be concerned. Pornography can have a damaging impact on friendships, relationships, and our sense of connection with others. You care about this person, and you value their place in your life. But talking about pornography use is a sensitive conversation to have. It's important to think carefully about your feelings, how prepared you feel, and how to move forward in a way that preserves the relationship. Here are some suggestions for how to think through this challenge in your relationship and move forward in a healthy way.

Question 9

7 Ways to See the Positive Side of Quarantine

Accepted Answer

You can acknowledge the sadness of Coronavirus and the difficult emotions it brings. But it’s important not to despair or give up hope. There are mindset changes you can make to find the silver lining in taking safety precautions and spending more time at home.

Question 10

Am I Weak if My Depression Gets Worse After Watching the News?

Accepted Answer

Watching the 24-hour news cycle does more than cause temporary stress, it can actually cause mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and even PTSD if we don’t set healthy boundaries around news intake. Self-care is important to keep your mental illness from getting worse. Learn how to balance awareness and rest.

Question 11

How Do I Help My Friend with Addiction Without Breaking Their Trust?

Accepted Answer

Having a friend with an addiction is tough. Their addictive behaviors cause them additional pain, because addiction does nothing to heal the pain that drives them to drink, use drugs, or harm themselves in other ways. Your support doesn’t mean you have to stop their addiction or make them complete their recovery. It just means you have to continue to be a true friend, as they always have been, so they know someone is there encouraging them in their recovery when things get tough. Here are some suggestions for how you can do that.

Question 12

Am I Really Addicted to Video Games?

Accepted Answer

You have to ask yourself, What am I trying to cover over in my life to where I go into another reality (not just for 15 minutes or 30 minutes, that wouldn’t be an addiction), but for hours and hours and hours?

Question 13

Are White Lies Ever Okay?

Accepted Answer

Even if we get away with it at first, telling white lies eventually wears on us. In your heart of hearts, you may feel guilt and shame about not being totally upfront with someone, or you may always be worried they're going to figure out you weren't totally honest. Being upfront and clear about your feelings means you're being true to yourself and your conscience.

Question 14

Bible Verses About God Accepting Everyone

Accepted Answer

“I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” (Luke 5:32) Have you ever thought, "God could never love me. I've messed up too bad. My sins are too big. I am too ashamed. I am too broken." But God says throughout the Bible that He welcomes everyone who comes to Him. The Bible is full of verses that talk about God accepting everyone.

Question 15

Dawson McAllister: I Am Not Immune to Heartache

Accepted Answer

Dawson McAllister counseled thousands of teens and young adults during his career. But that doesn't mean his life was perfect. There were troubles in his family, and his relationship with his son and other family members were sometimes difficult and painful. Learn more about his story of healing and growth after heartache, anger, and tragedy in this video interview on TheHopeLine.

Question 16

Is Love Addiction a Real Thing?

Accepted Answer

Like any other addiction, love addiction is connected with mental health. It isn’t something you can “cure” like a cough or a sore throat. But you can still find true freedom and healing by admitting that you need help, and reaching out for support when you need it. Recovery groups can be a great resource to help you feel less isolated. Therapy is also an effective way to manage love addiction.

Question 17

Is it Ever a Good Idea to Get Back with Your Ex?

Accepted Answer

"Whether exes get back together depends on a lot of factors:

- How Much Time Has Passed?
- How Have Things Changed? (Or Have Things Changed at All?)
- Why Did the Breakup Happen in the First Place?

Being honest about relationship failures helps you get clear on whether reconnecting with your ex would be healthy, wise, or possible."

Question 18

Suicidal Thoughts: I Can&#8217;t Live (Like This) Anymore

Accepted Answer

My dad and I were having issues at the time. .  . He threatened to call my grandpa, which was most likely going to get my grandpa in trouble. I was still holding the knife, so I pointed it toward my dad. I don't remember how my mom got the knife out of my hands, but she did. That night was a turning point in my life. It really scared me." Read how Scott found healing.

Question 19

15 Ways To Distract Yourself From Self-Harm

Accepted Answer

If you struggle with self-harm, you can find healthy distractions right now:
If you cut or self-injure to express pain or intense emotion:
1. Try painting or drawing
2. Keep a journal to write about your thoughts and feelings
3. Write a poem or song
Get more tips for stopping the urge to cut right away.

Question 20

Don&#8217;t Lose Hope In Tough Times. There Is More.

Accepted Answer

When you're losing hope, it's not always helpful to have someone tell you what to do or explain where you went wrong. You need someone to listen, to be there for you, and to remind you that you were created for a purpose. I rediscovered my sense of hope in a dark time by talking with a HopeCoach.

Question 21

3 Ways to Tell If You Are Addicted to Masturbation

Accepted Answer

If you're regularly masturbating in response to negative emotion and feel like you can't stop, you may be addicted. Why? Because it reveals you're not processing your emotions and indicates you're living in some level of distress, making it the perfect opportunity to get hooked. Addiction loves pain. It is a faux salve for emotional wounds. But in reality, our vice, be it masturbation or otherwise, is infecting that wound that so desperately needs to be healed.

Question 22

God&#8217;s Forgiveness: I Feel Like God Won&#8217;t Forgive My Sexual Sins

Accepted Answer

"Sexual sins have lasting emotional and physical consequences. You may be struggling after:

- Having sex with a partner, even though you wanted to wait until marriage
- Masturbation
- Pornography use
- Lust
- Relapse into addictive sexual behaviors

These things are tough to tackle. But let me encourage you: you can overcome sexual sins and God’s forgiveness is always there to help you through it."

Question 23

Pornography Addiction: 6 Lies Pornography Tells Us

Accepted Answer

Using porn can make you believe lies about:

- Pleasure
- Connection
- Acceptance
- Love
- Fulfillment and Satisfaction
- Escape and Peace

Rejecting the lies porn tells you can free you up for more meaningful relationships with people you're dating, with God, and with yourself. You can start experiencing greater freedom today with support and help.

Question 24

How to Stay Away from Porn Permanently: EP 34

Accepted Answer

Dave shares that by the grace of God he was pulled out of the addiction of pornography and masturbation. He was addicted from 14 years old up through college and grad school. He says, it’s only by Jesus was he able to stop. He found an accountability partner he trusted, and leaned on God if he was struggling.

Question 25

Is Pornography Addiction Harming Your Relationship?

Accepted Answer

"Porn use has been linked to unhealthy emotional patterns and relationship issues, including:

- Secrecy: Hiding porn addiction means you cannot be truly open with your partner.
- Shame: If using porn makes you feel ashamed, you might feel more withdrawn from your boyfriend or girlfriend than normal. 
- Fantasizing: Pornography creates unrealistic expectations of sex and physical intimacy that can strain or break a relationship."

Question 26

I Was the Good Christian Girl Addicted to Pornography

Accepted Answer

All humans struggle and fall in to sin. Christians struggle with pornography addiction, and the struggle is often made worse by guilt, shame, and fear. But you can talk about pornography addiction with trusted mentors and friends, and recovery is possible through prayer and recovery support groups. Learn more by reading Jessica's story about breaking free from porn addiction.

Question 27

Breaking Free from Self-Harm

Accepted Answer

You get there one day, one moment, at a time. You get there, not by resolving to last for however long without messing up, but by submitting in your heart to give up your will and your way and to run to God in every pain and bump that you face. You walk hand in hand with Him, moment by moment, day by day, and then one day, you stop and look over your shoulder in amazement.

Question 28

Bible Verses for Depression &#8211; Get Help from God

Accepted Answer

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." (Psalm 56:8) God cares about you, and He can handle all the painful emotions that come with depression and the challenges of mental illness. There are many Bible verses that can encourage people with depression, and help lift your spirits.

Question 29

Consequences of Cutting

Accepted Answer

"Having someone tell you to stop cutting is one thing. Hearing about the real consequences of cutting from people who struggle with self-harm is another. They experience:

1. Paralyzing, Emotional Pain
2. A Body Full of Scars
3. A Sick Web of Addiction

Are you addicted to cutting? You can get help to find healing from self-harm today."

Question 30

7 Reasons Why I&#8217;m Happier Living a Sober Life

Accepted Answer

Here are 7 reasons why I'm happier living a sober life:

1. I have more energy
2. My appearance improved
3. I have more money
4. I made room for fitness
5. I remember each moment of my life
6. My immune system is stronger
7. I'm comfortable in my own skin

Question 31

Is Your Toxic Relationship Sucking the Life out of You? EP 21

Accepted Answer

It takes far more courage to leave a toxic relationship and be single and healthy than to stay in the toxic relationship. There will always be people to date but the question is, who is this person? Am I growing when I'm with them? Am I just going to plow into another relationship unprotected and clamoring to meet needs the other person can't meet?

Question 32

Resisting The Urge To Cut Yourself

Accepted Answer

Sometimes resisting the urge to cut or harm yourself can boil down to finding a healthy distraction when you feel that urge:
- Call a friend or meet them in person. 
- Take a shower.
- Exercise 
- Play with a pet. 
- Watch television or a non-violent, healthy movie.
- Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of water or a cup of hot chocolate.
Get more tips at TheHopeLine.

Question 33

How Can I Stop Lying? EP 19

Accepted Answer

All of us in some way or another are liars. None of us are perfect. My hope is, whether we have told small or big lies, we will hate lying for the harm it's done. We can turn away from lying and trust in Christ to help us walk in the truth. The more you speak truth, the happier you will be!

Question 34

Eating and Body Image Issues &#8211; Find Healthy Balance

Accepted Answer

Eating disorder treatment varies from person to person. In general, you need lots of support. We recommend staying in touch with your doctor, your mental health professional, and people you trust to help you in your recovery.  It is also helpful to be aware of healthy goals you can strive for to find a healthy balance with your eating.

Question 35

Bible Verses About Substance Abuse &#8211; Get Help from God

Accepted Answer

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." (1 Cor 10:13) There are lots of Bible verses about substance abuse and addiction to help you heal with support and God's grace.

Question 36

Bible Verses About Hurting Yourself &#8211; Find Hope

Accepted Answer

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10) Self-harm can steal your health and cutting destroys your happiness. There are many Bible verses that remind us how much God loves us, and how trusting in Him can bring us peace, hope, and healing from self-harm.

Question 37

Bible Verses &#038; Quotes for Eating Disorders &#8211; Get Help Here

Accepted Answer

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14 reminds us God cherishes all of us, and our bodies are precious and wonderful, just as they are. Read more Bible verses to encourage you as you're working to heal from eating disorders.

Question 38

Recovery from Addiction

Accepted Answer

Getting rid of addiction is more of a journey than a one-time decision, and it requires a support network that can encourage you as you decide each day to not use addictive substances or engage in harmful addictive behaviors. It takes courage to admit that you struggle with addiction, but talking about it is an important first step. You can visit a local support group (like AA or Narcotics Anonymous) for in-person support.

Question 39

Substance Abuse: The Opioid Epidemic

Accepted Answer

Substance abuse is characterized by an inability to stop using drugs, alcohol, or other harmful substances. You may hide your using from others, and you may find yourself becoming very angry when others express concern.

Question 40

What Sleep, Food, and Exercise have to do with Recovery

Accepted Answer

Sleep, food, and exercise: each of these makes a huge difference in the quality of our mood and our overall mental and emotional well-being — including depression and anxiety, or how well we can focus our attention at any given moment. For someone in recovery, self-care could make the difference between avoiding emotional relapse triggers and having another relapse.

Question 41

Disordered Eating

Accepted Answer

Because eating disorders are an attempt to control your body and your relationship with food, they can easily become addictive behaviors that make you feel trapped in a cycle of overeating, starvation, binging, and purging. But you’re not trapped – and there is always hope. Here's what it's like from Maddie's perspective.

Question 42

Why do Bad Things Happen?

Accepted Answer

This has never been an easy question to tackle. There may never be a perfect answer, simply because we may never fully comprehend God or how people’s choices impact the world. Struggling in faith is a normal and healthy part of strengthening it. God cares about you and wants to know how you feel when tough things happen so that He can heal and comfort you.

Question 43

Top Two Reasons You Should Stop Lying PLUS How Liars Get Caught

Accepted Answer

"People who lie get caught because you have to keep lying and add more lies in order to maintain the illusion they want others to see.
People often lose track of lies they've told, or forget who they've told what, and that's how they end up getting caught in a lie. If you're worried about lying affecting your relationships, help is available now."

Question 44

The Value of Living an Honest Life

Accepted Answer

You'll feel more motivated to live an honest life when you get a deeper understanding of how lying hurts you and others. People are constantly looking to see who they can trust and who they can’t. People often know who tells the truth and who doesn’t easily. Honesty is beautiful and deeply respected. Practicing honesty leads to greater respect.

Question 45

How To Stop Lying

Accepted Answer

Lying destroys relationships and burdens your heart and mind. Breaking trust with people does deep harm that takes a long time to repair. Understanding the consequences of lying and what you have to lose from telling lies are key steps toward being more honest and breaking the habit of lying for good.

Question 46

7 Steps Towards A Porn-Free Life

Accepted Answer

"You can be free from pornography addiction and its unhealthy impact on self-esteem and relationships:

1. Tell someone.  
2. Find an accountability partner. 
3. Make a clean start.
4. Figure out when and where you usually struggle.
5. Stay clear of temptation. 
6. Take it one day at a time.
7. Get help with porn addiction recovery. 

Find support here."

Question 47

Body Image: Thicker (A Slam Poem)

Accepted Answer

Have you ever struggled with your body image? Have you struggled with thinking you are enough…just the way you are? You are definitely not alone. Models should not be the standard on which we compare ourselves. If only we could see ourselves as the way God created us…a reflection of Him, a person of character. . . we could find greater peace with ourselves.

Question 48

6 Reasons to Cut Porn Out of Your Life for Good

Accepted Answer

"Here are some of the biggest reasons to stop using porn:

1. Stop porn because it harms your health.
2. Stop porn because it harms your brain.
3. Stop porn because it harms your relationships.
4. Stop porn because it harms your brain.
5. Stop porn because it harms sex trafficking victims.

Stopping porn is beneficial and helpful to you and others."

Question 49

Why Do People Lie? &#8211; Reasons for Lying

Accepted Answer

There are many reasons people tell lies. Understanding why people lie can be helpful if you want to start telling the truth more. Some of the most common types of lies include white lies, lies of fabrication, bold-faced lies, and lies of omission. Find out which lies might be harming your relationships.

Question 50

How Lying Hurts You

Accepted Answer

Lying destroys relationships because it takes us into a vicious cycle that is extremely difficult to get free from. Once you tell a lie, you usually have to lie again to cover up the first lie, and you feel even worse. In that way, lying becomes addictive, even if you never experience a high from it. You can break free from lying.

Question 51

Substance Abuse: Highs and Lows of Addiction

Accepted Answer

Substance abuse is usually treated with a combination of doctor visits, mental health counseling, and support groups (like AA or NA). Many people also rely on their faith community for recovery support. Some people go to in-patient rehab. Treatment for substance abuse is unique to each individual. If you are worried you have substance abuse issues, chat online with one of my HopeCoaches for help and resources to help you in our recovery. You are not alone, and we will do whatever we can to support you.

Question 52

Four Main Reasons for Addictions

Accepted Answer

Counselors see many reasons why people turn to addiction and addictive habits to cope:

- We turn to addictions to fill the hole in our soul caused by the hurt in our lives.
- We turn to addictions to check out of life.
- Some people get into addictions because of peer pressure
- People get into addictions because they are fooled by the “just once” lie.

Question 53

Help, My Friend Is Cutting

Accepted Answer

It's natural to want to help a friend who is cutting or harming themselves, but you can't just throw out facts and figures and think a cutter is going to be instantly convinced to stop. That's because the reasons why people cut are complicated, cutters are usually covering up a deeper emotional pain. Here are some ways to think and talk about cutting with your friend.

Question 54

Guard Your Heart Dating Relationships

Accepted Answer

"It's important to guard your heart with truth, especially in dating relationships. Sometimes, the person you're interested in or dating can try to distort the truth about:

- Your Value
- What Brings Happiness
- How to spend Your Time
- What Is Good
- What Is Beautiful
- What and Who Are Most Important in Life

Guarding your heart keeps your priorities straight and your conscience clear."

Question 55

Ever Heard of Love Addiction?

Accepted Answer

A Love Addict:

- Lives in a fantasy world.
- Wants to be rescued from their empty life.
- Pushes their partner to meet needs only God can meet.
- Tends to worship their partner.
- Confuses sexual attraction with love.
- Craves to be consumed with his/her partner.
- Didn't get enough attention and nurturing when they were younger.
- Feels detached and isolated from family.
- Can feel the need to control their life and relationships.

Question 56

Why Do People Cut Themselves?

Accepted Answer

"It's natural to wonder why people cut themselves. Everyone's situation is different, but here are some common reasons

- Covering an Even Deeper Emotional Pain from Trauma or Abuse
- Covering or Acting on Self-Hate
- Trying to Express or Release Intense Emotions They Can't Talk About
- To Avoid Dealing with Emotions That Scare Them or Cause Them Pain

You can get help to stop cutting yourself, starting here."

Question 57

Sex Trafficking Myths and How to Identify a Potential Victim

Accepted Answer

If you want to help someone who is a victim of sex trafficking, it is important not to put yourself in harm’s way. If you suspect trafficking is happening in your community, call National Human Trafficking Hotline toll-free at 1-888-373-7888. Here are some signs to identify a potential victim of sex trafficking.

Question 58

Masturbation

Accepted Answer

I prayed and fasted on my own several times for several years until the Lord really answered my prayers. Now, I have hope of the future glory of His coming. I really need everyone to pray because there are many people who are struggling like I was." Read more true stories about overcoming masturbation from TheHopeLine.

Question 59

What Happens To Your Body When You Cut?

Accepted Answer

It seems that self-harm or cutting have become as popular as drugs or alcohol as a way to try to cover pain. Cutting also seems to be destroying lives in the same way as other addictions do. Knowing what cutting does to the body is a first step for many on the road to recovering from self-harm.

Question 60

Four Types of Liars &#8211; How to Spot Them

Accepted Answer

" In my time counseling, I've noticed there are 4 types of liars:
1. Occasional Liar: An occasional liar only tells lies every now and then.
2. Frequent Liar: Frequent liars lie often, usually out of fear of being found out.
3. Smooth Liars: Smooth liars do so to deceive and get what they want.
4. Compulsive Liars: They can't stop lying — it's like an addiction. Learn more. . ."

Question 61

Comparing Love vs. Lust

Accepted Answer

Love never changes; lust is unpredictable. Love wants to act out of self-respect and respect for our partner; lust is all about what we want, when we want it. Love gives freely; lust only wants to take. So ask yourself, "Am I in love, or am I fooling myself and getting stuck in an unsatisfying, frustrating cycle of lust?"

Question 62

Why Lust is Destructive

Accepted Answer

Lust literally means over-desire. It is when you take something that is good, twist it, and add cravings to it so you are consumed with it until you are gratified. Lust harms our relationships because when we act out of lust, a person’s body is far more important to us than his or her soul.

Question 63

Love vs. Lust &#8211; What&#8217;s the Difference Between?

Accepted Answer

So what is lust? Lust literally means to over-desire. It is when you take something that is good, twist it, and add cravings to it until you are consumed with what you want to have. I think of lust in romantic relationships as what happens “when a person’s body is far more important than their soul.”

Question 64

Trading Love Addiction For Meaningful Relationships

Accepted Answer

"Being addicted to the highs of being in a relationship is called love addiction. To heal and have more meaningful relationships:

- Get comfortable being alone.
- Talk about it with a counselor, pastor, or mentor.
- Focus on friendship first.
- Go slow with any dating relationships.
- Think about your relationship with God.
- Look for healthy qualities in others.

Get support and find freedom from love addiction."

How To Recognize & Recover from Addiction

How Do I Know if I Have an Addiction?

Why Do I Have an Addiction?

Can I Recover from Addiction or Relapse?

FAQ on Addiction:

Is it Okay to Be Upset with an Alcoholic Sibling?

Podcasts about Addiction :

Videos on Addiction:

eBooks on Addiction :

Ask Dawson:

Resources for Addiction :

Spiritual Perspective :

Verses of Hope

Free eBooks

Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

Prayers

Additional Resources