Do you have a feeling your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you? If so, you should be aware of some tell-tale warning signs. Below, I give you 15 Signs to test your relationship to determine if your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you.
Do You Have A Feeling Your BF-GF Is Cheating On You?
Can You Tell if Someone Is Cheating?
Without asking whether your spouse or partner is seeing someone else, you may not know for certain if they are being unfaithful. Yes, there are common signs of cheating. People who cheat often seem defensive, or like they are hiding what they've been up to. They might spend more time away from you than usual. Or they might not be as affectionate with you as they once were. But all these circumstances could also point to different problems they're having that have nothing to do with infidelity. Claiming someone is cheating is a serious accusation without complete confirmation. If you are concerned about your partner's behavior, ask them about it directly before making assumptions that they are being unfaithful. For example, "It seems like you've been spending a lot of time away from home and I haven't been able to reach you when you're gone. What's going on? Is everything okay?" This may result in you learning the root of the problem, so you can talk through it. If your partner becomes defensive or lashes out, don't resume the conversation until you've gotten support for having these challenging conversations. Reaching out to a mentor or counselor is a safe way to talk through what you've observed and how your partner responds.
Can You Relate To Angela's Fear?
Angela's fear of her boyfriend cheating on her led her in all the wrong directions. "I always think in my head that he's cheating, so I want to cheat. Or if he's ignoring me, I don't know what else to do. Every time we fight and he doesn't show me love, I find it somewhere else. If he ever left me my whole life would fall apart. But I never think about these consequences when I'm doing what I do. It's like drinking and driving; people know the consequences of drinking and driving but yet do it anyway because it seems okay or it's tempting."
Have You Been Hurt Like Katrina?
Katrina had her trust shattered when she was engaged. "I caught my fiance cheating on me. We had been together for 5 years and all he would tell me is that he wasn't happy. I think when he found that other woman, he uncovered feelings that he didn't feel with me. The worst part is it went on for one month. He always would tell me he would never do something like this to me."
Now the test...
Test Your Relationship Against These 15 Signs Your Bf/Gf May Be Cheating On You
1. You begin to notice an emotional distance between the two of you. Things just aren't the way they used to be.
2. Your instinct tells you he/she is being unfaithful. Deep in your heart of hearts, you sense something has gone wrong with your relationship.
3. You begin spending less time together. Your bf/gf tells you he/she doesn't have the time for you like they used to.
4. The one you love so much stops asking you to go out and do special things together. Your bf/gf just doesn't have the time for you like before.
5. They suddenly start encouraging you to spend time with other people. Their rationalization is If you spend time with other people, then I can too.
6. There's a distinct change in his/her schedule. They often make excuses for the extended time of running errands.
7. There are huge blocks of time your bf/gf is secretive about. They won't tell you where they have been.
8. You notice suspicious cell phone activity like secret texts, emails or strange websites. Many people are caught cheating because of what is on their computers or cell phones.
9. He/she doesn't answer certain phone calls when you're around. They look especially panicked when the phone rings.
10. He/she doesn't talk to you about all their deepest feelings anymore.
11. They appear anxious when you're together and want to leave, maybe they say they're just tired. Cheating drains their emotional and physical energy because of fear they're going to get caught or from spending a lot of their time trying to cover their tracks.
12. You notice a sudden change in their appearance or they have an increased concern about how they look. Your bf/gf probably has a new reason to look great, and that person is most likely the one they're cheating with.
13. He/she hangs around with a new best friend of the opposite sex a lot, even more than they spend time with you.
14. Your bf/gf spends time with his/her ex but claims nothing is happening.
15. He/she begins to be increasingly critical of you or blames you for cheating, even when you haven't. This is a way of putting you on the defensive and making them feel better about what they are doing.
Do you already know they're cheating? Read this...
Don't Ignore The Warning Signs
The above indicators are all warning signs. If you notice multiple changes in behavior, routine or personality, and not just isolated incidences, you should confront them about these signs. You should always trust first, but don't ignore red flags.
It's also important to be aware that you can't always trust your "gut feeling." Sometimes it's just jealousy and insecurity creeping in.
Lexie has closing words of advice for us: "I think what makes a good relationship is honesty. You cannot lie to the other person or cheat! That will seriously ruin everything in the relationship and you might not be able to fix it after it's happened. If anything's wrong, tell each other and try to work it out."
Know your worth...
Whatever the Outcome You are Worthy of Love
If you find out your partner is cheating on you, do not let yourself think for a moment that you are not worthy of love. God created you to be just who you are and He loves you as His precious child. In this messy, sinful world we live in, people will hurt each other. It doesn't mean you ever deserved to be hurt. In fact, God desires that we love each other selflessly, the way He loves us. This is how God describes love in the Bible.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
For more verses of hope about God's plan for relationships, love and sex read these Verses of Hope for Cheating in Relationships.
It is extremely painful when relationships come apart because of cheating. If you've been cheated on, here are 6 things NOT to do.