They say, “Love knows no bounds,” but is that really true? For many couples, distance poses a huge challenge to their relationship. Why is it so hard, and what’s the secret of how to make a long-distance relationship work? Or maybe the question we should be asking is, what kills long-distance relationships? 

Is it even possible for a couple to stay together when they live nowhere near each other?

The short answer: yes.

The long answer: Long-distance relationships require lots of patience, dedication, and an unshakeable foundation built on trust and communication. For couples, your faith can actually serve as your relationship’s anchor, making it easier to stay close to one another across long distances.

Long-Distance Relationship Advice

Here are some tips for long-distance relationships that want to stay focused on their faith:

1. Set Expectations. Have an honest conversation about your long-term goals as a couple and establish expectations for your relationship, including how often you’ll communicate, how you’ll handle conflicts, what your boundaries are, and your plans for the future. Having a clear roadmap can help you stay focused and committed when things get tough, but remember to be realistic about the specific challenges of long-distance relationships. There will be ups and downs along the way, so start off on the same page!

2. Maintain Trust. Trust is essential in any relationship, but it’s even more crucial in long-distance ones. You aren’t there to see whether your partner is telling the truth about their location or who they’re with. You can’t look over their shoulder and see who else they’re texting besides you. Without trust, a long-distance relationship is bound to drive you crazy with paranoia. Combat this by being transparent with each other and by trusting in God’s plan for you and your relationship. Your trust in Him can empower you to trust each other wholeheartedly, too. There will be times when it feels easier to hide, lie, or distance yourself, but remember: trust is built through honesty, reliability, and consistent communication.

3. Establish Communication Patterns. When you can’t see each other regularly, you have to talk regularly. Get really clear with each other about how often you’ll communicate and through which channels (text, call, video chat, etc.). Being consistent in how you communicate will help you maintain your connection despite the physical distance. Otherwise, you’ll both be glued to your phones, wondering when you’re going to hear from each other. 

Instead, develop daily and weekly communication habits. Share little details about your everyday lives, even if they seem boring and minor. Knowing what the other person is up to helps you feel connected and involved in each other’s experiences despite being physically apart. Make time for regular video calls, phone calls, and text messages to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and don’t hesitate to express your needs and concerns.

4. Talk About Your Faith. Incorporate your faith into your daily or weekly communication by sharing how you see God in your everyday life and talking about what you learned through scripture, a devotional, Bible study, or church service. Encourage each other in investing in your own personal relationship with God.

5. Plan Visits. Whenever possible, plan travel to spend quality time together in person. Having something to look forward to can give you both a sense of excitement and anticipation or be a helpful light at the end of the tunnel when you’re missing one another. Time together also gives you fun memories to hold onto when you’re apart.

6. Send Thoughtful Gestures. Surprise each other with handwritten letters in the mail, care packages, or use Doordash or Uber Eats to deliver their favorite treat or meal to their house. Small tokens of affection show that you’re thinking of each other and help bridge the gap between the next visit.

7. Create Traditions. Dedicate a day each week for a virtual date, such as watching a movie together through an extension called Teleparty every week or cooking the same recipe over a video call. There are also virtual games to play online together. These traditions create a sense of intimacy and give you a chance to spend designated quality time together.

8. Practice Patience and Understanding. You know the Fruits of the Spirit! Now’s the time to call on them. Give each other the benefit of the doubt and lean on love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control when things are hard or overwhelming.

9. Seek Support. If you can’t be with the one you love, surround yourself with people who understand your situation and encourage you to stick to your goals of keeping your long-distance relationship and your relationship with God thriving.

10. Celebrate Your Wins. Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean you can’t cheer each other on when good things happen. When important milestones like graduations, birthdays, or anniversaries come up, make a big deal out of them! Be excited for one another and remind each other to have gratitude when things are good.

11. Practice Self-Care. When you’re focused on someone who’s miles away, it can be easy to forget about your own needs. But you can’t be in a healthy long-distance relationship if you’re not healthy. Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being by staying involved in your hobbies, exercising regularly, eating well, journaling to manage stress, etc.

12. Remember Who YOU are as an Individual. There is a delicate balance that needs to be prioritized between a long-distance relationship and the life you have around you. It is very easy to put friendships, different social activities, and work/school to the side to focus on the relationship. The truth is, although none of us wishes this upon anyone, the relationship is not guaranteed to be forever, so it is important to maintain a balance between the relationship and where your feet are.

Hopefully, some of these practical tips will help you and your long-distance partner nurture your connection and your faith! We’d love to hear from you if any of them were helpful.

What Really Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

Just because we rattled off a bunch of long-distance relationship tips for you doesn’t mean that this is always going to be an easy journey. It’s hard enough to maintain a healthy, God-centered relationship when you see a person every day, let alone when there are miles and miles between you. Be patient with yourself and with your partner, and when in doubt, remember: God, communication, and trust. If you’re struggling in a long-distance relationship and need to talk about it, reach out to one of our Hope Coaches any time. We’re always here to listen without judgment!