I'm afraid that many times the warning messages to avoid certain addictive behaviors, go in one ear and out the other. The pitch is almost unbelievable, and it gets tuned out. But I have to tell you, the more I read your messages about addictions, and the more I study and write about addictions, the more upset I get. It's like millions of people are just flushing their lives down the toilet, and for what? A cheap thrill and a false feel good to cover over their pain.
How about this? Just so you know I'm not naive, I'll first give you the sales pitch on why you might want to take up an addiction. There must be some positive reasons to take drugs or get drunk or fall into many other addictive behaviors, otherwise people wouldn't continue to do it, right? So, I'm willing to look at the PROS of an addiction if you are willing to look at the CONS as well. I understand that when you are getting the sales pitch on the street or at the party, it's going to sound so worth it. All I'm hoping is that maybe after reading this you might have a voice of truth in the back of your head.
Addictions, at least at the beginning, make you feel great. I've heard people say, no one ever forgets their first buzz...the magic of their addiction. Drugs (or addictive behaviors) work their charm by traveling to the brain's reward system and telling it to release mega amounts of chemicals like dopamine (high rush), serotonin (euphoric calm), or norepinephrine (adrenaline thrill). So, when these chemicals flood our brain, most people feel very, very good. In fact, they can make you feel so good that the feeling is beyond explanation. You've tried to explain it to me:
The best way I can describe it, is when you're on a roller coaster, and before you take off, they pull you back and you hear the click, or a shift of the coaster and you know you're seconds away from an incredible [but short] trip. As it lets go you feel as if your breath is a few steps behind you. Sadly, it felt amazing. The sting is shocking; breathtaking. A sea of shades of blue drowns me in my thoughts, and after it's over, you exhale. People can't really understand how much of a head rush it is. - Sandy
The buzz might be good at first, but it comes at a price. Your body quickly builds up a tolerance to the chemicals or activity that gave you the high. As the addict continues using, the brain tries to adapt to the change by reducing the amount of dopamine, serotonin, or norepinephrine it would normally release. This leaves the user needing more of their drug or activity to feel the same effect. So, addicts enter the black hole of chasing the high. The original thrill is harder and harder to find, but the cravings for it become greater and greater. It leaves a person always craving, but never truly finding.
Yes, the feeling you get when you are in your high can be amazing, but it doesn't last. After the effects have taken hold, you start to come down, it's like HELL. All you think of is that next high, that next buzz, and you will do ANYTHING to get it. You become a person you don't want to be. - Eric
The fact is that [the high] wasn't permanent, so I would have to keep doing it every time something bad happens, and that just sucked. - Rachel
There's tremendous pressure in our society to feel confident and have the capacity to accomplish a lot in a short time. The pressures of life can slow us down, rather than speed us up, making us feel weak and ineffective. But with some addictive behaviors, there is this incredible feeling of being invincible.
I had to balance too much on my daily schedule, so I started using ice. Ice is a form of crystal meth. At first it was great. I started smoking ice and made all of my stress disappear. It made me feel like I could do anything. This was great because my major in college was Computer Information Systems. It made the wheels in my head turn so I could write software like a genius and never get tired. - Chris
Tragically, while the addiction may start from a desire to be productive and confident, every person with an addiction ends up spending half their time chasing the high, and the other half covering up the addiction or frantically trying to find the money to feed their addiction. No matter how important friendships, family, jobs, security are, they always become a distant second to the high. Lying becomes second nature to the addict because it's a tool to cover the tragic life they are leading.
I have to hide what I just did to myself, how I did it and that I am hurting. Guilt eats away at my insides. I walk around, different from others, covered at all times, and people ask me why all the time. I lie to them. - Shelby
Addictions are expensive. Stealing becomes necessary to fund the addiction. As they say in Narcotics Anonymous, "Are you tired of the high price of low living?" When the craving for the addiction hits them, they often act in an irrational, cruel, and unbelievable way in order to dig up the money.
My boyfriend is addicted to weed. He smokes in the house, and we have a son who sleeps in the next room. He has taken money out of our son's piggy bank to buy weed. - Lala
Some people want to go into a totally different world where they can experience a supernatural encounter or feeling. It's like their addiction enables them to experience something in some other world, the world of the supernatural. A high is just another means of coping with life. It is a drug-induced fantasy, replacing reality with something surreal. Persons become something greater than they think they can ever be, escape the chains of reality, peer into worlds unknown to them and just feel really good. - TJ
When you are living in this fantasy world, you soon become unaware of what's happening in the real world around you. You become blind to reality, failing to see the hurt in the eyes of those who love you the most. A user doesn't grasp what the addiction is doing to their loved ones, and how it is destroying their relationships. After all, a user is a user. They end up using whoever is near them so they can keep feeding the addiction, and the addiction is always very hungry. The problem with users is they soon forget how to love because they become so self-absorbed and selfish.
But one day, a day usually too late, they look around and notice something. The people whom they once cared about are no longer there. What happened? Little by little, their friends and family drifted away, no longer able to deal with the addict's heartbreaking behavior. And this is so unfortunate because recent research has shown that the best way for an addict to recover is to know they are loved and have purpose.
My friends were supportive and tried to help me. But as the addiction began to set in, I started to treat those who loved me like crap. I hurt them just as much as I hurt myself, and it was too late before I got the point. It hurt so badly to see my life falling apart, but addiction doesn't care. My life slowly fell apart, and I now am only beginning to pick up the pieces. - Amanda
Life can be painful and difficult. Research shows that the root of many addictions stems from difficult feelings, such as fear, loneliness, sadness, anxiety, etc. Addicts often can't bear to be present in their own life. We all have a need to bond with something, and if we feel like we have no one who loves us or nothing to give us purpose, an addiction tragically fills that void.
How many times have we said to ourselves, I need to get away and go on some kind of vacation? Some addictions do a very good job of allowing us to go on our own little vacation on demand (in fact, slang for using LSD was called going on a trip).
We can be gone for hours or sometimes even days on our trips. I felt that I had no worries in the world for once in my life, and I loved feeling that way, so I kept doing it. (Katie) Think of it. The very first time in Katie's life, she felt like she had no worries.
What a rush. Why wouldn't she want to go back to get the no worries feeling over and over again? When I get high, I feel great. It's the only time I feel good about myself. I can escape the craziness of life and I don't have to face reality. They made me happy. - Becky
Unfortunately, while you think you are finding freedom and vacation from the struggles of life, what you are really doing is turning into a slave to your addiction. No one ever goes into an addiction telling themselves, "My life is going to be totally taken over by this cruel thing."
A slave has no rights, no dignity, and is at the mercy of their master. An addict may be rich or poor, famous or a nobody, but they all have one thing in common they're slaves to their addiction and seemingly they can't get out.
My thought process was I wanted to get away from life. So, when I did drugs, did I get away? No, I didn't. I got HIV. I can't get away from that. Addiction is a lie and a thief, [it] leads to destruction and death. It kills the person you are meant to be, and it kills the people who love you the most. Addiction always takes and never gives. Unless the giving is to destroy your body, mind, and soul. - Drew
Wow! I have a lot of compassion for those struggling with addiction. I don't believe anyone starts down the path of addiction intending to destroy themselves. Many people get hooked into an addiction because they are trying to fill the hole in their soul.
However, it is only the God of the universe, the One who loves you and me, who can meet our deepest needs and fill
that hole. And He would never turn us into liars, thieves, murderers, etc. The wisest man in the Bible, King Solomon, talked about finding a meaningful life without God. He called it, chasing after the wind. He said, "I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind." That is what addicts do. They chase after the wind, thinking they will find that one all-time best high and be complete, but it will always allude them and never complete them.
If you seek God, by reading the Bible and praying and talking to a pastor or Christian friends, God will be there for you, and He will make you whole. He promises us this in the Bible, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." Do you want to fill that hole? Start looking in the right place. Look to God.
As I close, please know that substance abuse can be treated. It is usually treated with a combination of doctor visits, mental health counseling, and support groups (like AA or NA). Many people also rely on their faith community for recovery support. Some people go to in-patient rehab. Treatment for substance abuse is unique to each individual. If you are worried you have substance abuse issues, chat online with one of my HopeCoaches for help and resources to help you in our recovery. You are not alone, and we will do whatever we can to support you.
If you're in an addiction, wouldn't it be cool if you could break loose from it, and then turn around and help people who are still in their addiction? That's my dream for you. And I believe it is possible. I am not saying this journey of recovery will be easy, but it is worth it. In recovery they say, "It works if you work it, so work it because YOU are WORTH it!"
If you need some help with overcoming your addiction, download your free eBook today:
Overprotective parents. 22 and living with parents. Don't get to go out. Don't get to meet the love of my life. Pressurized to be the best in studies and not caring about my dreams.
I stopped self-cutting 3 years ago. Started today because of a fight with a boyfriend. It was pretty bad. Then I thought why. Why was I cutting? I wondered if others did it for the same reasons. I googled why people cut themselves. Found this in one of the blogs I read about downloading the app to chat.
I feel so much better and more positive and inspired to do what my heart wants me to. Thank you for making me strong again when I was about to give in to my weak self.
And Mason my HopeCoach is a sweetheart and he helped me get my confidence and willpower back...Thank you Mason for your kindness and patience. I needed that when I had nobody.
Did you know addiction is the #1 public health crisis in the United States, costing 500 billion dollars each year? That's a lot of money. Think of all the good things that could happen if our society had 500 billion dollars to invest in schools, health care, and helping the poor. But it's blown every year on addictions. That's bad enough, but what hurts more is what it does to you and me.
When I talk to teenagers and young adults on my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, I hear so many sad stories from people whose lives are being ruined by addictions. After all, 60%-70% of Americans have some kind of addiction. Why do so many people fall victim to an addiction? I've thought about and researched addictions for quite some time, and I believe there are four main reasons for addictions.
So what is an addiction again? I turned to you for help in coming up with a great definition of an addiction. I found two that stood out:
An addiction is an activity or a substance a person uses to avoid dealing with uncomfortable thoughts or feelings that need to be faced - Joe.
An addiction is something a person turns to when they cannot handle the cards they are being dealt with - Amanda
Isolation, abandonment, and being the victim of previous abuse can all contribute to substance abuse and other addictions. But substance abuse can affect anyone, even if they don’t “seem like” the type to struggle with an addiction. If you feel like you can’t control your use of drugs and alcohol, it's time to seek help.
Nobody gets involved in an addictive lifestyle just to ruin their lives. No, they turn to their false feel good to feel good. It's the false part that ruins them. Here are four main reasons for addictions:
1. We turn to addictions to fill the hole in our soul caused by the hurt in our lives.
When we get involved in addictions, we are attempting to trade a high to replace a low. The high comes from chemicals or some repetitive behavior that gives us pleasure, and the low comes from the emotional and spiritual pain in our lives. Some people call this spiritual and emotional pain a hole in our soul. Those headed for a cruel addiction ask themselves a good question: "Why not fill the hole in my soul with a high? That will surely do the trick. What could be wrong with that?"
It makes a lot of sense at first. The high helps heal us from our pain (the hole in our soul) and gives us the much-needed distraction from the heartaches of life. Let's face it. It's very difficult to handle the cards that are being dealt to us. At some point, the pain becomes so great we begin to crave for some kind of relief, any kind of relief.
Everyone who has an addiction is trying to escape. No one ever imagines that it will turn into an addiction, but the pain continues, and the distraction is needed. It's survival for so many people. - Amanada
2. We turn to addictions to check out of life.
There are those who feel they cannot handle the responsibilities of life. Let's face it. Life is hard, with all kinds of issues to face daily. There are no guarantees life will always be easy. There was a man in the Bible who suffered horribly. His name was Job. He lost his wife and family and all he had. In his depression, he said, We're all adrift in the same boat: too few days, too many troubles. So how do we handle life's many troubles?
I have known people who have gone on drug and alcohol induced binges for months and months trying to forget the conflicts and hurts they face every day. They barely function.
Life has a way of showing up no matter how hard we try to escape it. You look into their eyes, and there's no one at home. The high that first worked for them has turned to numbness. Not only do they feel no pain, but they have no life either.
Sometimes people have addictions because that is the only way to forget the past. Sometimes reality is not easy to face. - Beth
You can make a choice. Are you going to turn to God and others to help remove the deep emotional pain within, or will you turn to some temporary relief - a calm euphoria or an amazing high? No one points a gun at our head and says, "I will force you to be an addict." You can choose. If you choose the temporary relief, chances are you will soon be locked up in an addiction, and in the end, things will be worse than whatever you were trying to escape.
At first, my addiction was a choice that I made. Growing up, I wasn't given the privilege of making choices for myself. I've suffered physical, emotional, and sexual abuse all of my life. To be given the choice to drink or have sex brought me comfort. I could receive comfort and relief at any moment in the day. It was something that I could control. Now that I've stated, it is too painful to stop. It's no longer a choice, but something that I can't control. I feel ashamed but i have nowhere to go. I am lost. - Sarah
3. Some people get into addictions because of peer pressure
I know there’s nothing new here. It seems we’ve heard about peer pressure since the day we were born. But no matter how much we talk about it, people give in to peer pressure every day.
Usually, when somebody falls into the trap of negative peer pressure, they usually have abandoned people who give positive peer pressure and replaced them with all the wrong crowd. We are only as safe as our closest friends.
When i was 18 i stopped going to church, lost connections and stated hanging out with the wrong people. One thing leads to another and before i knew it i was getting high all day every day. Seriously as soon as i woke up i got high, i got high every opportunity i could throughout the day and before i went to bed. - Kimberly
There’s a saying that goes like this: “To break your addiction, you will have to find new playmates, new playgrounds, and new playthings.” No one ever broke an addiction hanging out with the wrong crowd but hanging out on the wrong playground with negative playmates and playing with dangerous things is a set up for addiction, disaster, and death.
4. People get into addictions because they are fooled by the "just once" lie.
Everyone who has an addiction was totally clean once. Every addict had his or her first-time experience with what caused his or her addiction. They could have said no, and never known the highs or the cruel lows of their addiction. But instead, they rationalized and said to themselves, I’ll experiment just once. For many, “just once” was all they needed to begin the dance with the devil of death. Let’s take drugs and alcohol for example. Studies tell us 10% of all Americans are predisposed to becoming addicted to drugs because of their genetics. People who fall into this predisposed category have better than a 50% chance of becoming addicted to something. While their friends may be able to take 1 or 2 drinks and walk away, these people cannot. The just once lie ends up being the beginning of disaster.
I think people start getting addicted to many things by accident. Maybe their friends told them something was cool. They try what their friends were doing thinking they will only do it once. Then they really get into it and doing it over and over again, which becomes an addiction. - Beth
Beth is absolutely right. Whatever you do, don’t get caught up in the "just once" trap. There are some drugs that with the first use, you become instantly addicted (i.e. coke, crack, ice, crank, special K, etc.
There is a way out and there is HOPE!
You may be asking yourself, “Is there any way out? Can I overcome the addiction in my life?” The answer is a thousand times yes! But it will take a true spiritual transformation.
Put another way, only a deep, meaningful relationship with God can truly set us free. That’s why just about every recovery group for an addiction uses the same proven 12 step program and only adapts it slightly for each addiction. Six of the twelve steps talk directly about God. Rather than working on a deeper relationship with God, we make the addiction our god. God created you and me to know and love Him. All addictions make a lousy god. Is it any wonder then most people who have an addiction are eventually miserable? Here the good news: the same God who never wanted you addicted to begin with will give you the strength to recover. It’s a matter of trusting Him to heal you and committing your life to let God help you turn your entire life around.
We also need each other to get through the hard times. Some of you encourage one another in your blog comments and some of you share your story of hope. Don't face your issues alone. We know it's tough out there.
Also, download TheHopeLine's eBook with information on signs and symptoms of substance abuse and how to overcome.
Have you taken Rx drugs you weren't prescribed? Have you ever taken Rx drugs more than prescribed or when you didn't need them? Have you taken Rx drugs that were prescribed to your parents or your friends?
Related Posts:
So Who's An Addict?
How To Stay Clean
How TheHopeLine® Saved My Life
Have you taken Rx drugs:
Did you know that prescription drugs can have all the same adverse effects as illegal drugs? They are highly addictive, often lead to using more dangerous drugs, and can cause death.
According to research conducted by the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids:
The symptoms of substance abuse and addiction are extensive and can vary from person to person. The most common signs of substance abuse include unusual behavior, changes in habits and patterns, including:
Here is one guy's story:
In high school, I was captain of all the sports teams I was on, had good grades, and I was liked by the majority of the school population. I would go out to parties and drink frequently, which turned into a daily habit by college. I dropped out of my first college because getting drunk and smoking pot became more important than going to class. At least I had plenty of friends to drink with. I enrolled in a community college and started working for a small company. The drinking began to subside but smoking pot was now an everyday thing.
I was working from 8am to 5pm and attending night classes from 6pm to 10pm, still smoking everyday and drinking every now and again. The company I worked for was beginning to grow and my responsibilities between work, school and home were beginning to weigh on me.
My doctor prescribed me Xanax to deal with the stress and anxiety. At first, I was only taking the Xanax when I was really stressed or anxious, but that soon turned into 3 or 4 times a day. Shortly after, my life changed forever.
THERE IS HOPE!
SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) has a National Helpline. Call them at: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
I was 18, fresh out of high school and in my first serious relationship. He was abusive and I was enamored. He cut me off from my friends, and I alienated my family. Things were emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive. I was devastated when he left.
I suffered from self-harm and I couldn't control the impulses to keep myself from cutting. I gained a lot of weight and I found my solace in my studies. I was eating, working, going to school, and barely sleeping.
I finally found God, talked to a counselor, and met an amazing man. He has helped me overcome a lot of my struggles by praying with and for me daily. Since then, I've lost almost 100 pounds, I have been free from self harm for more than a year and I just want to say it gets better. It seems bleak, but it can't stay that way forever. Stay strong, be positive, and find God. He puts you through struggles and situations for a reason.
-Bridget
Related Posts:
A Door of Hope
Why Do People Self-Harm?
Real Story: Artist Michaela Hatfield
How To Quit Cutting
For additional help connect with our partners at Door of Hope. You are not alone.
