Dawson’s Blog

Why do People Lie, Exactly?

why do people lieMost everybody, at one time or another, has lied. Tell the truth now: that includes you and me. In fact, some people, sad to say, lie almost all the time. Psychologists call these people compulsive or psychopathic liars. They tell lies even when they don’t have to. Even the youngest of children will lie, especially if they think by doing it they won’t get punished for something. When children first learn how lying works, they lack the moral understanding of when to refrain from doing it.

Because lying can have such destructive and harmful consequences to both the liar and the one being lied to, I’ve written a series of blogs on lying.

There are different kinds of lies, as well as different degrees of lying. It seems so many people I talk to have a problem with lying whether it’s their own, or someone else’s.

While maybe everybody lies at some point, few understand how destructive it can be, why we do it, and how to stop it. So let’s answer those questions.

Let’s begin by defining what lying is:

Lying is saying something with the intent of creating a false belief or impression. It’s an attempt to get someone to believe something that is not true.

Lying – Self Evaluation

* How many lies do you think you have told this last week?
* Who did you tell the lies to?
* Why did you tell the lies?
* How do you feel about the lies you told now?

Sometimes a lie might seem unintentional, or it may have been told to save someone else’s feelings. For example, someone may say to another, “That sure is a pretty dress!”, when the person knows it’s ugly. We all have the capacity to lie.

Why do people lie?


It was Tad Williams who said, “We tell lies when we are afraid… afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” People can be so afraid of what might happen if they told the truth. Maybe they have done something wrong and are afraid of the consequences of their actions, so they lie to cover up what they did. As is  often said about political scandals: It’s not the crime that gets you in trouble, nearly as much as the cover-up.


Lies are typically motivated by a desire to get other people to either do something or not do something, or to make a decision in the favor of the person doing the lying. Someone might lie to get something they desire such as sex, money, status, power, love, etc. Lori said: “I’m young, but I realized quickly lustful people know how to get what they want, even if it means lying to you about how they feel.” Probably the word love is used in more lies than any other. How often a guy will say to a girl (or vice versa), “I love you”, simply to get the other person emotionally stirred-up, so they can be more easily manipulated.


Many times, a person will lie because of pride. They use it for nothing more than a tool to create a favorable image of themselves. This leads to exaggeration, which is a form of lying. Often people will create fascinating, yet completely false, stories to improve their image.

Bottom line: We deceive other people because we think it serves our purposes in some way. And it’s easy!

What’s the big deal about lying?

It becomes an addiction.

When you get away with a lie it often drives you to continue your deceptions, and in the process, we ruin relationships, hurt others, lose our integrity, and lose our peace. Truth becomes a feared enemy of the liar. It’s a sick and tragic cycle that doesn’t ever have a happy ending.

Lying may seem simple and harmless at first, but just like any addiction, you’ll soon find yourself trapped and entangled more than you could have ever imagined.

Liars don’t have peace.

 Lying is extremely stressful. It causes you to be constantly looking over your shoulder and wondering who might be finding you out. You’re always running through the lies you’ve told in your head, trying to keep track of what you’ve told to which person, and what’s the next lie you need to tell. When you’re honest, you don’t have those worries, or the negative consequences of your lies.

Roiselyn commented: “I can say that not lying is a very relaxing way of life.” The fact that you don’t have to worry about remembering old lies or getting in trouble later on when the truth comes out (because it always does) puts a lot more relief in your life. Even when it’s hard, telling the truth always has the better outcome than a bunch of lies.

Lies ruin relationships.

 People are constantly looking to see who they can trust and who they can’t. People are actually much more perceptive and aware of who tells the truth and who doesn’t. Over time, honesty shows itself as a trait that is beautiful and deeply respected.  Liars are not respected.

This is true in all our relationships whether it’s dating, family, friends, or at work. Macey put it so well: “It’s always best to be honest. It makes any and every relationship strong and healthy.

Someone commented about the value of being honest: “I used to lie a lot. I would lie only because it was easier than explaining the truth. And I have finally grown to realize that it’s easier to [be honest]. Being honest and open has actually gotten me further than lying. My parents trust me, and I feel good about myself. And when you feel good about yourself then you know that everything is okay.” This person has come to realize that when we tell the truth and live it, we become emotionally and spiritually stronger every day.

Honesty Challenge

I want to offer up a challenge to all of us. Would you be willing to commit to a life of honesty and integrity? If you’re up for this life-changing challenge, please write me a comment below, and tell a friend about your commitment too.

For more information and help, click the link below to download this FREE eBook created by TheHopeLine®.

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
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  • 19LudiS

    When I met a friend, this past school year, who I thought was the friend I would have for the rest of my life but, she was just manipulating me or “testing” and “acting” as she called it. She told me in text that she was acting and that I might get to meet the real her next school year, if she felt like it. I felt like I lost a part of me and I couldn’t find it because it was gone. My happiness had turned to sadness and anger as it fell from the sky like a bomb and exploded in my face. When I learned that she was manipulating me I told her that I couldn’t be friends with her anymore and that I wasn’t going to put up with her manipulating me. It is going to be very hard to find a new friend because it is going to be hard for me to trust them.

  • Rosalyn Stone

    Yes my son is 44 he lies all the time you cant believe. Anything. He says’ he met this girl he told her so many lies it isnt even funny and he has a bad drinking problem. And he will work 3 or 4 months and he want for 3 or 4 months i an at. My wits end i do not no what to do thank you

  • keyon flowers

    For my opinion I think people lie because when their caught at their act they know that they”ll face the consequences for what they have done.Even when you didn’t do your assignment the teacher would ask you for your home work and if you didn’t do it you’re going to lie about it but sometimes teachers don’t understand you
    didn’t do it on purpose it’s just because they forgot to do it and people don’t understand the work and you as the teacher should not scolf the child instead you must go over the concept to him or her in the evening or break time because you don’t understand what child is going through and if you see that he or her is gazing around a d not paying attention don’t scold instead ask if he or she is not understanding ask what part is giving problem and go over it again

  • somu

    My friend is a liar. All good is done by him and all bad or social evils are done by other friends or peoples. But, I know the evils is done by him. Why does he do that? What is this disease?

  • debbie

    I have a 35 year old son that lies. We are a very average, educated family with a son that could not make it in college. He gave up and got a very responsible job and has worked it successfully for years but he has never been honest with us. He got into some money trouble and instead of coming to us he starting borrowing from Pay day loan companies and friends of ours without our knowledge. His health was compromised with a nervous condition (surely from his deceptions) and he had to lay off work for 3 months. He did not tell us. He even continued calling his dad every morning on his way to his job even though he was sitting in his apartment. My son has self esteem problems and I am sure that is the basis of this. He has Klinesfelter Syndrome and an auditory learning disability. He will not tell us the truth about anything. He says we are trying to take charge of his like and he wants us to butt out but we can’t seem to do that either…we love him too much!

    • teja

      call him to your house and he will be very angry when you tell the truth what is going through ask him what happened he loves his father that the reason he is still communicating though is his not doing the job. I suggest you to probe him in a helpful manner and say him we will try to solve your problems to our best and try to know all the situations you’ll get to know a major problem don’t get angry with that try and try until u solve his problems and join him in a good course so that he can find a good atmosphere to learn and a possibilty to earn good money for future the best way is to u have a enqurie a good course ur self give him as a give make his like sort of busy so that he can again gain confidence. i’m orry if i have given any wrong info i always try to give my best. i’m sorry i don’t respond to mails,tq

  • teja

    the co worker wants you or the co worker has a revenge on your husband . The only way I guess is remind your husband the old memories of you both and show him how much trust worthy u are and hire a detective if possible for the co worker to revel his original identity to your husband live… I guess this works. I’m sorry I don’t relay to mail much and my heartful sorry if i gave any wrong information.. thx

  • teja

    i understand your concern. I suggest you to find a job for your self and also don’t argue with your husband much and if you know he’s lying please notify him at the end of the day bcuse if you say truth to the people they will be angry and you have show the circumstances what will happen in the comming future if he follows the same way. it might be difficult but he will realise and come to you again in the future. he might feel burden with the standard income. if you get a good job or a normal job and try to educate further as much as possible better to take course a hour a day for a job he will build confidence and he will get to know that we can also earn money in different style by education . there might be very less time for this stuff in your lifes but this is the best way to get out of this and tell him your best moments of your life so that he can find the lost love in you. tc

  • Vanessa

    My husband has a compulsive lying problem. He lies constantly about everything even when he doesn’t have to. He also has a bad drug habit. He has sworn to me time and time again that things will be better but it never gets better. The last time I caught him lying I kicked him out and now we are getting a divorce. I have tried to help him get better over the years but nothing helps. Part of me feels like I’m giving up on him and abandoning him, but I can’t trust anything he says and he makes me into a paranoid mess when I’m around him. I don’t want to see him fail, but I don’t want him to hurt me anymore either.

    • Andrew

      Hello Vanessa, my name is Andrew. Sorry to read your story as it has many similarities to my marriage ending just over 2 years ago. From the begining, 20 years ago, my ex-wife and I shared substance abuse. Before I met her I didn’t even smoke cigerettes but occasionally, since the age of 15, had joints with my older brother. I met my ex-wife when I had just turned 18 and she was 19. Initially she was a daily bong smoker, and within 6 months, I became the same type of addict. At that time she lived with one of her friends, who both had a young child each. The supply of the dope was readily available within this environment so our addictions didn’t seem like that much of a big deal, because we always were under the impression it was just a habit and could give it up at any time. Once she moved out, with her son, we embark on our voyage of life together. The first year was great but changed dramatically once our supplier moved away, which caused my life to change forever. The unforgetable, terrible scum I had to score off over the next 20 years, to not only satisfy my addiction, but my ex-wife too. We went from dope to extasy to MDMA to powder Amphetamines and finally to Meth Amphetamines, all along continuing to regulate the abuse with canabis. I lied and lied and lied and lied. Not only about how I paid for them, where I got them from and who I got them from. Lies to cover lies to cover lies to cover lies. And when I couldn’t pay or couldn’t aquire substances, my ex-wife took to serious Alcohol abuse and became very violent. During all this we managed to have a perfically healthy baby girl, who is nearly 17, but may as well be 27 after what she has witnessed.
      I read something about a certain types of people who lie, but I identified with all types due to dealing with our families, dealing with my ex-wife and the most harmful environment, dealing with dealers.
      My ex-wife walked out on our marrige, which I don’t blame her for doing as I think all my lies did make her question her sanity, yet not an hour goes by that I wish I could hold her and love her again. Unfortunately, there is not enough time left in our lifes, at 40 and 41, for me to repair her lost trust and respect for me again. And it’s hard, so hard for me to accept these facts.
      If your ex-husband is solely to blame for his lies and the damage he has caused and the pain he has create, well I personally think he would be very upset deep in side his heart.
      Substance abuse is a generic illness, like alcoholism, but alcohol is legal and therefore makes substance abuse much more difficult to overcome.

  • Vanessa

    I can relate to your story. I’ve asked myself and my husband “why?” So many times. I can’t believe that he chose his lies and the kind of life that came with them over me and our daughter. Whenever I caught him in a lie he would get very defensive. Suddenly everything that he had done wrong was somehow my fault. I think it hurt his pride to get caught. He and I are getting divorced. I’m going to focus on raising my child and getting my life back on track instead of trying to keep track of him. I hope I will be happier in the long run. I also hope your life gets back on track soon too. You and your children deserve a good life.

    • Amy West

      Sorry, but divorce makes you a liar too. And your child will know that. Then you’ll be teaching your child that lying is good. I hope you’ll instead choose a support group to comfort you & help you love as you promised, and maybe he’ll improve as you eliminate his fear of your rejection. I know how you feel. There’s a better way than giving up. Don’t trust your emotions. Human emotions are pathological liars, and sometimes just blind.

      • Vanessa

        Umm, I got out of an abusive relationship with a liar and I’ve never felt more free than I do now. Please don’t call me a liar. I tried everything to make it work with him. He wasn’t willing to change.

      • Vanessa

        How can you call me a liar? I haven’t heard your response yet. This bothers me. This site is meant to help people in their time of need and despair, not pass judgment onto them. I did make a vow to love him but so did he. He hurt me in so many ways, emotionally and physically. No one should have to stay in a relationship like that. If you have nothing nice to add to the conversation, then you need to stay off of this site.

  • olaguenancy18@gmail.com

    I need help….I lied to my husband about some serious stuff I’ve been trying to lay everything out on the Table and it’s just to hard to do, he said he’s giving me another chance and if I can’t tell the truth he’s going to leave.

  • Jessica Gonzalez

    My husband use to lie about his hours spent working I was pregnant and felt so unimportant to him. Then he lied about watching open where money was spent. He has lied about hiding money from me and even when he got caught didn’t seem to bother him much. He recently told me he was kidnapped. We are separated and I hadn’t seen it heard from him in a few days. I even received a text message that was supposedly given to one of the kidnappers saying that he loved me and might not see me again. There were so many holes in his story but it seemed like he believed it too. It has left me angry, feeling disrespected and not worth the truth. I started sleeping with other men just to get his attention I wanted him to notice me and to stop watching porn especially after promising he had stopped.

  • Actually you can be addicted to it. Check out this link. http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/marijuana/marijuana-addictive OR chat with a HopeCoach about it http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • brenda

    my grandaughter dad said i did something to her and i did not that lie can get me in jail just a lier lier

  • praveen

    leave the past what happend in previous year start new life in this new year.

  • Matt Davis

    I really feel for all of you who are sharing about the problems with lying. I have not personally had this issue, but I have heard many life-stories of those who have, and RECOVERED! I want all of you to know about Celebrate Recovery. You may have heard of it. It is a program that is based on the 12 steps and on New Testament, Christ-centered teaching. It has helped countless souls achieve real recovery, and continues to do so. Recovery from all kinds of hurts, habits and hang-ups. And don’t think it’s just for drug/alcohol addicts. A larger percentage of people attend are recovering from other things besides drugs or alcohol. I can’t say it will be easy for you. But as they say, “It works if you work it.” There is also a tongue-in-cheek saying, “Try it 6 times, and if you don’t like it, we’ll gladly refund your misery!” God Bless! -Matt

  • carnita dandridge

    i love this website it helps me a lot thanks mom

  • carnita dandridge

    yes i will accept the challenge

  • Well people like cause other people got trouble it not fair or cheat.

  • Alex Marshall

    I think that people who have high expectations and are very ambitious, will be more prone to lying because it gives them an edge. Sometimes people in business will lie to generate more future income for themselves. There have been reports of dentists recommending (and selling) patients unnecessary treatments. Unfortunately, lying gives the unscrupulous many advantages.

  • Joseph Valoaich

    I have to to stop the lying I have to tell the truth if I want my family back I have to do it I just need help with trying to figure out how to is there some kind of medication to help me stop lying I want all the help I can get I want my family back when the love of my life back but as she said I cannot take you back until the lion has stopped please someone help me please

  • Nnamdi Azikiwe

    People lie because they want something they do not think they deserve. The main thing they want is love. The next is money. People think if they had more money they will get more love. The sad thing is, even when the money comes whatever love they get is not genuine because the love is given to a liar.

    The solution is to tell the truth ALWAYS.

  • bill

    I’m trying to get myself straightened out this column was a great read, it’s almost like a sickness but like most sickness i know it can be cured.

  • ….

    Just leave him, he isn’t worth it I’m still in the seventh grade and if someone I knew lied to me it would be over, do you really think it’s worth sharing a life with someone you can’t even trust? No, it’s not and this goes for everyone here.

    • Amy West

      But then the wife of the liar would be lying too! Didn’t she say on their wedding day that she would love him unconditionally til one of them died? That was my promise. Being a best friend sure is a sacrifice sometimes, very hard work. She just needs to learn how to stop enabling him, while being honest about her part of the wedding vows. I believe in not being a wedding day liar, and being a practical help to those in a difficult marriage. Our great country needs strong families, not more broken homes. We need to teach young people to avoid romance until they find someone with great character, in good timing too, which is when both are already able to be fully independent of parents & lifelong commitment is the immediate goal of the relationship.

  • I am sorry you are having to deal with this. It is true that compulsive lying is a very real issue. We have a free eBook that goes into more detail about lying, causes and how to help. http://info.thehopeline.com/lying-ebook

  • Marcus Perez

    You really gota dit down and have a man talk tell them as they grow up look in the mirrior ask themselfs can i respect myself if they cant they wont make it in the world. Well the real world hahaha

  • Tracy Hicks McKinley

    I have been lying to the man that I love…it has been little white lies but the last one was much bigger and it hurt him. I didn’t think about it hurting him. I just wanted to avoid a huge fight. But now the fight is even bigger and there is a good chance I will lose him and I don’t want that.
    I want to be completely 100% honest with him

  • We have help available for you 24/7. Chat with a HopeCoach for new solutions and resources to help you – https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Chat is free and private. We are here for you!

  • LAC

    My brother lied to me about a family matter. He told me my out of town bother and his wife were coming to a party. It was a very fancy party and I had previously declined the invitation.
    I did not want to go at all. I had many other pressing matters at hand as well.
    It turned out another guest cancelled at the last minute, so they called me at the 11th hour to let me know there was an empty place, even though I had previously declined the formal invitation.
    Well – if he had just said that it would have been one thing. However, I communicated immediately with the other brother who said he had no plans to attend.
    He lied to me to try to persuade me go to the party as it was very expensive and they had already paid for the plate of a DIFFERENT guest that had to cancel at the last minute (he mentioned this person’s inability to attend at the party which, at the last moment I attended.) He went so far as to continue the lie at the party for my “benefit”.
    It was a bald faced lie. I cannot believe my own brother would lie to me about such a thing. This makes me even more disinclined to ever accept any invitation from him ever again.
    We are middle aged people. Lying to spare someone’s feelings is one thing. Lying to manipulate someone into doing something they really do not want to do is another matter.
    I cannot believe my brother lied about this. It was not an urgent matter or anything like that. Just an out and out lie. Would it be so hard to just ask – hey – are you sure you won’t reconsider?
    Lying erodes trust and relationships in general.
    I cannot stand people lying to me or about me. “The dog ate my homework” is something one would expect from a small child, not an adult brother.
    I went to the party – it was nice but an overextension of what I really needed to do. As a caveat to this, I received an email later on that I was added and not “replacing” someone.
    That they just wanted me to change my mind and come.
    This whole story made me feel very uneasy.
    I know we are not perfect humans. One thing I cannot stand is when my intuition is telling me one thing (the truth) and someone else is telling me something else (a deliberately fabricated story.) It makes me feel very ill at ease, to say the least.
    I sent the host an email saying that I was aware of the fabricated story and would appreciate honesty in the future. It is more beneficial for both parties. For some reason certain people think certain little lies are okay. They really are not, especially when they are so transparent. It is no way to build trust.

  • RJ

    Sorry to say this, but most people DO lie. It’s good to hold the belief that there really is good in everyone. Just don’t trust anyone except the people who have earned it.

  • casity blakes

    I am willing to live a lie-free life from now on, I only ever lied to make situations simpler but I notice that the truth is much easier

  • Shirlah

    I got a bad habit of lying when I tell the truth nobody believes me they think it’s a lie cause they say I tell lies all the time it’s hard for them to know I’m telling the truth plz help I want to tell the truth but it comes out with lies plz help

  • Damon

    I lie because it feel easier than telling the truth to people I care about. It makes me feel more important than I truly feel about myself. I had been lying to my wife about my career and life goals for nearly 5 years until we got into a fight two days ago. Thinking we were on the same page from a discussion years ago, we stayed together and have gotten married. I lied because I was too afraid to lose her and selfishly hoped I could change her mind later on. And now, I’ve hurt her in such a way that I could see her love for me leave her face as I was finally confessing. Lying has destroyed the only relationship I cherish. I need help to stop this cycle of lying to people I care about. I don’t want to be afraid to tell the truth anymore.

  • ScareCrow

    I think you’re lying about so many people being liars.

    • Amy West

      After being frustrated by a new friend (& now former friend) that was actually a true pathological liar, in forced therapy for it & computer addiction & severe laziness, I decided to look at my self to see if I ever lied. Oh no! I do it too! Not as weird of lies, like he did when asking his boss for a day off of work to attend a funeral. True funeral, but when the boss asked who died, common question for showing appropriate compassion, the young man replied “I don’t know the guy’s name.” Well, there 2 things wrong with that lie, one – asking for a day off for a total stranger’s funeral. And two – the guy had the same name as his much older half brother and this young man had even helped at his other half brother’s house with the Dad’s home hospice care those last few weeks! Knew him all his life. Very odd lie. Anyway, I was like, do I lie at all? I was scared to realize that was a big fat YES. New Year’s Resolutions? Same ones these last ten years. Do I go shopping or to the park with the kids or clean a mess every time I say I will do it at a certain time & day? No. Always have great reasons to reschedule? Rarely. “One cookie only today, just one.” Eats two or three….. LIED AGAIN! “I am going to work out for 5 min every day this week.” Looks back on week’s exercise goals….FAIL…LIED AGAIN. “I need this item from the store (more than needing to save $$ for car repairs or next car to reach cash pay goal). Buys nice item and others and eats out too often, so didn’t have cash for next reliable used car a few years later. LIED again. ” I can’t control my thoughts. ” “Sometimes rudeness is the only thing that works.” “I just can’t put up with this anymore, so divorce is what is best for everyone.” “Wishing that I was with someone better is good for me to think during my marriage.” “A child’s temper tantrums are just a phase, he’ll grow out of it.” (Continues neglecting child training responsibilities.) We tell ourselves more lies than to anyone else.

  • Dillon Baden

    Awsome article! Very informative and eye opening I read this at a time where I needed to and still come back to it!

    • Dillon, Thank you for your encouraging words about our blog. We are here if you ever need to talk.

  • Noril

    May i know who wrote the article?

    • Yes, the writer is Dawson McAllister. Here is his bio – “Dawson McAllister is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine® and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired live on Saturday and Sunday nights.” The call-in radio shows are really powerful – click here to find a station in your area https://www.thehopeline.com/dawsonradio/

  • Droid Smash

    I’m committed and you are right it’s harder but it makes you feel better.

  • Amy West

    When we became friends with someone that we soon realized was a pathological liar, who was also forced to be in therapy for lying & computer addiction, I decided to look at myself really hard. Did I lie too? Hmmmm…well, never as bad as he did, but I was horrified to discover how much I lied. If I said I would get a mess cleaned up by a certain time, but didn’t because I spent that time on Facebook or bills that could have waited, or cleaned a different mess instead, or read a useful book, whatever, then i lied. If I said I’d go to the store at a certain time or day, but procrastinated for no really good reason, I lied. If I said I’d take the kids to the park, but allowed myself & the kids to get caught up in fun or educational YouTube videos and lost track of time, then we couldn’t go…I LIED. People even lie to themself when they use a credit card for car repairs, claiming they had no choice, when the truth was they could have not spent that cash on eating out or non-survival clothing, or gifts, or more expensive processed food & empty calorie snacks & drinks which weren’t even on sale, that unnecessary trip, etc. Most women who say they want to stay home with the kids LIE when they claim they can’t afford to be a full time homemaker. There are more kinds of lies than the most obvious ones.

  • Amy West

    I had to give my husband perfect peace about my loyalty to him, then give him respect he didn’t deserve, then give him permission to tell the truth without me getting upset. VERY HARD WORK for both of us. We’ve been together 27 years now, and are now happier than most newlyweds. Lying still happens, both of us, but we’re working on eliminating even the tiniest of bad lies. I’ve told the kids of my new total honesty goal. Sweet daughter, 17, called me out on my lie in progress two days ago. I promised to take daughter, 13, shopping for brother’s birthday, but later that day I felt like waiting till the next day instead of going when I said. I had allowed us to get caught up in educational political videos for too long that afternoon, and didn’t want to be gone when Daddy was home. But I had asked for help being honest about what I said I’d do, wanting to be a good example of honesty & hard work ethic, so I went. Didn’t get home til 8:30 which was really hard since I had been up since 4 am with hubby (I help wake him up for work), but I’m so glad I went the same day. I want to be known for honesty & reliability. Old habits die hard. But my self improvements and unconditional respect (& apologies) & irrational loyalty have inspired my husband and kids to improve too. It’s a team effort.

  • Azhra

    My uncle just died and he was not a good person. Everyone now says, “Ay, bendito”, when I say he was not a good guy. He had his good moments as we all do, and he lied a great deal. He also used and put people down when they turned their back. I this and now I am the bad person who have been ostracized from the family. I don’t get it. I am telling the truth. Why do we do this? Even the neighbors have told me, you watch the minute he dies they are going to say he was a great guy and never did any wrong. I know different! How can I get others to see this. I am sure that they all think I am the worse person in the world. He was a neighbor, I helped him as much as possible, I was the one that took him to the hospital, doctors appointments and cared for him. I did more for him than most others. He never married, he never had kids, he was gay and was the female in his relationships. So why do we humans eulogize and make them out to be what he was not in life? I wish someone would clarify this for me.

  • dakotah

    I totally agree, I got into so much trouble for lying to my mom about my school work. Now I have to write an 8 paper essay about lying. part of me thinks that they are over reacting, but part of me thinks that this is perfectly soiitibly

  • dakotah

    yes it is

  • rey v

    My fiance & I live with her brother & his boyfriend. The boyfriend has a history of lying about things that have happened at the house.

    1) we had a girls night with 3 other chicks and he went ahead and told my fiance’s mother that there was make up & vomit everywhere and empty bottles of tequila and whiskey all over the place and that he was the only one who cleaned up…
    (there was no make up or bottles or vomit anywhere and we didn’t say that we wouldn’t clean up)

    2) the same day as this girls night, my Fiance & I gave him a couple of bucks (he recently lost his job and was still looking for work…and what happens he tells my Fiance’s mother that we were buying him over because we knew the night would be that bad… (which was utter nonsense as it was a goodwill gesture so he could at least fill up his car to get to interviews)

    3) a couple of weeks ago this same boy & I had a huge fall out! things were literally thrown around and in the process i threw a cup at coffee on the floor (imagine how frustrated a passive person -i.e me- would have to be to do that) while this cup was on its way to the floor Mr. moves straight into the onslaught of the HOT coffee & obviously he gets coffee burned on his knee….. the story he relays to everyone: i pinned him down and poured the HOT coffee over him and he could do nothing but just lay there sand take it…

    this boy has no shame lying to people, he’s quick to tell people his twisted version of what happened and make sure he tarnishes other people’s views of us

    I honestly don’t know what to do with him anymore!

    We’ve confronted him about the Girls night story that he told and he ended up crying and apologizing for lying to my soon to be mother in law and then promises that he would never lie about something regarding us again…. but this clearly wasn’t true….

    any advice would be appreciated

  • John

    Hey guys, so this is the first time I speak about this publicly but I’ve been lying to my girlfriend practically ever since we met for about a year and a half now about many subjects that range from silly things like playing video games with my guy friends to bigger things such as bumping into an ex-girlfriend and say that she’s just an “old friend”….
    She has caught me lying at numerous occasions whether its about silly things or bigger things and despite me promising her that I would never do it again, here I am still lying.
    I have broken her heart, shattered her trust in me and do not want to see her suffer anymore…
    Why is it so hard for me to just tell her the truth? My own answer to that is that I’m worried that she will get mad and leave me.

    Here’s an example, we were having dinner with some friends about 6 months ago or so then all of a sudden a girl I used to see couple of years back added me on snapchat. My girlfriend saw the name and asked me who that was, I immediately panicked and said she was just an old friend, of course I didn’t accept her and deleted the invite but still panicked and I lied with absolutely no reason to do so! I figured what difference will it make whether I say she s an ex gf or an old friend, they will never actually see each other.
    Well guess what, literally today 2 hours ago we were walking in the park and bumped into her!! I quikcly said hi but didn’t stop to chat and we kept walking along. My girlfriend asked me who that was and I panicked again acting super awkward, obviously my first instinct was to lie and say that she’s just an old friend but she saw right through me and knew I was hiding something. I told her she was someone I used to see couple of years back and when I said her name she remembered that it was that girl that added me 6 months ago… It broke her heart that I had lied to her about not telling her at that time who she was exactly and that I’ve hid this from her all these months…. Sadly this is just one of the few other lies that she’s found out about me and I really don’t want to do this anymore. She has absolutely no trust in me anymore and I desperately want to save our relationship, she means everything to me and she doesn’t deserve to be with a liar. To tell you the truth I was also suffering from an addiction to internet porn which I also lied about to her but after many fights and arguments I’ve decided to do something about it and started reading Noah Church’s book. It’s been extremely helpful and I’ve made some significant improvements, I am now going strong with over 4 months of not watching any porn videos. To be honest I’ve been lying to a lot of people about many things for as long as I can remember but I am now 26 years old and have found the love of my life, I can’t keep going like this, it’s time to put an end to this once and for all.

    I’ve downloaded Dawson’s e-book with hopes of getting some tips on how to better myself and stop lying completely just like stopping porn videos!
    I would really like to hear your comments and suggestions or even share some similar stories and how you overcame your lying addiction… Thanks for taking the time to read this.

  • Atilla Mac

    What about some one who lies about the stupidest things Then accuse you of being the culprit!! Like swearing you said something you never did or eating something you never ate.or denying that they told you something you know that they did!! What kind of liar is that!!!

  • Atilla Mac

    Please post. I am losing my mind. Doubting my sanity. Someone who will do something right in your site and then deny it a day at week later and said you are making up this lie!! Has anyone ever been through this?? Email me I am so alone and depression constantly. Thank you and God bless you all

  • Andreastasha Clark

    I’m going to try to be lie free…In my head I might have thought negative stuff, but I haven’t told anyone any lies recently 😀

    • Way to go!!! That’s exciting you are making great progress!

  • John Healy

    who is Lori?