Just Friends vs. Dating
Being “Just Friends” with someone from the opposite sex that you can just hang out with, while avoiding all the boyfriend/girlfriend drama, can be a real blessing. I wish every teenager and young adult could experience a friendship with someone from the opposite sex with no strings attached. It’s possible to have a Just Friends relationship, but so many people are looking for that perfect one. That boyfriend or girlfriend that’s going to sweep them off their feet and they will live happily ever after. In the meantime, they lose out on all the good times a relationship with Just Friends could bring them.
I get tons of calls on my radio show about boyfriend/girlfriend drama and broken hearts. Sometimes, the consequences of bad dating relationships can be hard and life-changing, like unintended pregnancies, STDs, and abuse.
I find myself saying to many of these callers, “You don’t need a boyfriend. You need a boy you can be “just friends” with.” The same is true for guys. We think we need that special girl, but often we simply want a woman in our lives to help us understand more about the female point of view.
What I’m trying to say is having a friend from the opposite sex is a huge gift to you and can be far healthier than the drama of dating. I wish everyone who dates would have a friend of the opposite sex to help give them a better perspective.
A while back I asked for comments from my readers about the advantages of having a friend from the opposite sex. I read through every comment and came up with 7 good reasons to be “Just Friends”.
7 Reasons to be “Just Friends”
- You tend to respect your friends more than the people you randomly date. People who have Just Friends relationships tend to respect their friend and take care of them more than just random dating that comes and goes. I’m best friends with a guy named Mikey and he’s awesome. We respect each other. We know that we don’t want anything to ruin what we have. (Angelica)
- “Just Friend” relationships tend to be more like brother and sister relationships. Everybody needs brothers and sisters, but let’s just suppose for a moment that you’re a guy who doesn’t have a sister or a girl who doesn’t have a brother. Or perhaps you don’t relate well to your brother or sister. Just Friends can help fill the gap of those who have never experienced a good brother or sister relationship. Just Friends’ is like having a brother or a sister for those who didn’t have a sibling of the opposite sex.(Christy) By the way, if you have a good relationship with your brother or sister, you are truly blessed.
- You can be very honest and real within a “Just Friends” relationship. When dating, there can be a lot of fear of losing your boyfriend or girlfriend. So many times, people are not honest with one another about their feelings. All this does is make the dating relationship weak and prone to fall apart. But in Just Friends, you tend to be more honest because you feel more secure in the relationship and the stakes aren’t quite so high. Learning how to be honest in a relationship is extremely important. So, what you learn about honesty in Just Friends you can apply someday to your boyfriend/girlfriend. I like having him as friend because it’s nice to have a guys’ opinion when you need it and I know he will truly give me an honest answer.(Rissa) I like what Laura had to say, They keep you grounded, and aren’t afraid to give you a reality check when you obviously need one.(Laura)There’s a cool verse from the wisest man in the Bible. His name is King Solomon and he said, An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. He’s absolutely right. It’s hard to get people to be totally honest with you, but Just Friends can be just that.
- “Just Friends” often protect each other. I have always been amazed at how real friends will protect each other no matter what. “Just Friends” may fight amongst themselves, but if someone else tries to step in against one of the friends, the other will protect his/her best friend to the end. I have noticed how best friends who are guys are extremely protective over their best friend girl. This desire to protect is not some way to control and manipulate the girl. It comes out of real love and friendship. It’s a good feeling to know there is a Just Friend who’s got your back. My best friend is more than a best friend, she’s more like a sister. And she feels that same way. We both have each others back now and forever.(Narda)
- You can learn much about the opposite sex without the pressure of dating. It seems to me that many people really do not understand the opposite sex. Let’s face it, men and women look at the world differently and react differently to life. That’s one reason why in dating, things get so confusing. Because along with the deep emotion of young love or infatuation comes confusion and frustration. But a friend from the opposite sex can fill you in on what women/men are like. They can answer a lot of your questions about the opposite sex and save you all kinds of grief. I think it’s great to have a friend of the opposite sex because sometimes the same sex won’t understand some things you are going through such as if you have been in a bad break up. A guy can see your point of view when you’re talking about your ex, and it gives you an opportunity to see both sides of the story…(Megan)
- There is no sexual pressure. In a recent survey, 61% of all teenage girls say they are pressured to have sex. Guys aren’t pressured to have sex as much by girls, but some still are. Being pressured to have sex can be a very difficult experience. If you’re dating somebody and really like him/her, there are all kinds of fears of losing your bf/gf. In the end, some bargain away their bodies in their attempt to keep the relationship going.That’s sure a crummy way of staying in a relationship. But with “Just Friends”, you don’t have all that pressure. You can relax and just enjoy the friendship with no sexual strings attached. What a stress reliever that is!
It’s so nice to just hang with guys who are “Just Friends” and not have any sexual stuff in between. It has never been that way between any of us!(Jenn) I’m amazed at how many people pressure their dating partner to go against their value system and do something sexual the other partner doesn’t want to do.
- Just Friends are comfortable with each other with no need to impress. There is tremendous pressure on teenagers and young adults to impress other people, especially the opposite sex. They end up not even being themselves, but instead what they think the person of the opposite sex wants them to be. It’s just one big performance. Not being yourself and performing for others is extremely exhausting and never worth the effort. Just Friends helps solve that problem because with Just Friends you can be yourself and not worry about impressing. If you hang out with someone of the opposite sex, you don’t have to try to impress anyone. One of my best friends is a guy, and we talk about almost everything. I don’t have to prove myself, and neither does he.(Kaitlyn)
So save yourself a lot of stress by spending more time developing Just Friends relationships. It could be the wisest thing you’ll ever do.
There are so many good reasons to have Just Friends. I’m not against dating, but it can cause a lot of pressure and pain you don’t need. I’m all for Just Friends and who knows, the perfect love for your life may come along when not even looking for him/her. I want to encourage you to keep developing a Just Friends relationship. You’ll be glad you did.
If you have had a “just friends” relationship with someone from the opposite sex, please leave a comment below about both the pros or the cons.