Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

If you've read my blog, My Boyfriend Hurt Me, you may be troubled just like I am. So, I've decided to write another post about what I feel may be the biggest reason why girls give in to guys.

Desire to Feel Loved

I believe some girls give in to guys because they're searching for love and think they will find it by having sex.  Most girls don't say, "I want sex with my boyfriend."  They say, "How can I get my boyfriend to love me?"  Then bargain away their bodies hoping he will stay.  Some of your comments brought this up.  For example, Ally said, "I imagine that if I were in the same spot [as Alicia], the things that would go through my mind would be, If I do not do this, they will not accept me. They won't like me anymore. They'll find someone else."

Ally's fear is if she does not give in to her boyfriend's pressure, he will leave her and she won't be loved anymore.  Mandy's comment was especially powerful, "When I have sex, I feel loved and wanted, that's why I give in. Hoping that something will come out of it and it never does. If I can feel wanted, even if it's in a sexual way, I like it, but yet on the other hand, I don't."
Mandy couldn't have put it any clearer.  For the relatively few brief moments she is having sex, Mandy somehow feels loved.  But after it's over, the empty words she's heard and being alone again only leaves her unfulfilled and searching for more.

Sex by Itself Is Not Love

I received a comment from a really honest guy who doesn't seem to understand how some girls grasp for love and will put up with anything to get it. Garrett wrote, "I am 16 years old.  I really love this girl but I feel really bad about what I do to her.  She knows I cheat on her with this other girl, but she keeps coming back. I feel so bad.  I don't know what to do and it makes me feel desperate and really bad inside."

What Garrett and many others don't seem to understand is sex in and of itself is not love.  People have loveless sex every day (like friends with benefits).  You can also have love without sex.  (Think of a man who loves his wife deeply, but she is dying of cancer.  Can he not love her without having sex with her?)  Genuine sex is a physical, emotional, and spiritual expression of true love.  But true love demands deep commitment, trust, and respect.

Left Wanting More Love

While sex (for sex's sake) can never meet someone's need for love, it does stir up a deep desire for it.  That is why sex (for sex's sake) is so cruel.  When a guy has sex with a girl, she almost always feels closer to him and wants true love in return.  But then he leaves her, and she is left wanting even more love, and instead she feels alone and used.

There's no use looking for love with all the wrong people, doing all the wrong things. You won't find it there.
I'd love to hear from you....why do you think girls give in to guys when they don't want to?

Are you looking for love in all the wrong places?  Read this...you might have a Love Addiction.

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8 comments on “Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places”

  1. Why do I keep having sex with him? Even when I know he doesn't love me? I think that, every time before sex maybe he gonna fall in love with me...fr this time. But he doesn't. It's just a kiss And empty words. And I don't know what to do about it...do I leave? Do I try and work it out?

  2. I'm 57 years old, been single now since 2000 and I, too am searching for love in all the wrong places, can someone help?

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