Dating Violence – 8 things that are NOT okay in Dating Relationships
Did you know that violence in teen dating affects 1 in 3 adolescents in the U.S.? This is NOT okay. Do you know if your dating relationship is unhealthy? Let’s talk about it.
I ask myself – how can this be that one in three teens is being violated physically, sexually or emotionally in a dating relationship? I think there are a number of reasons why. Often the abuser in the relationship starts off being very smooth and charming and the other person is taken in by this. I describe this behavior in my call with Nicole. Take a listen:
However, I wonder if most of the time teens and young adults simply don’t know how to recognize abuse, and are willing to accept behaviors from their boyfriend/girlfriend that are NOT acceptable simply because they don’t know things can be different. Perhaps you have been there. It’s your first dating relationship…you’ve never really been “in love” before so you think your bf/gf’s behavior is normal or you’re willing to make excuses for them because you like being “in love” or you think you can change them. I understand how this can happen, so I want to help you recognize abuse before it’s too late. The truth of the matter is that people with abusive tendencies don’t change too quickly and you deserve SO much better and better is available.
Here are 8 behaviors that are NOT acceptable in a relationship.
- Insulting you, putting you down, or hurting your feelings with their words.
- Disrespecting your opinions or thoughts, making you feel dumb or worthless
- Isolating you from friends and family by controlling whom you are “allowed” to talk to and convincing you that your family and friends aren’t good for you.
- Controlling you…telling you where you can go, whom you can see, and how you can spend your money, etc.
- Overly jealous. Spying on you or checking in on you too much. Reading your texts or stalking your social media. Accusing you of cheating or flirting with others when you are not doing anything wrong. Listen to this call from Jared whose girlfriend helped him realize his overly jealous actions were abusive.
- Blaming you for their abusive actions…making you feel like it is your fault they say mean things or are physically rough with you.
- Physically rough. While you may know that hitting is not appropriate, neither is pushing, grabbing, pinching, hair pulling or any other physical touch that makes you feel uncomfortable or scared.
- Forcing sexual activity of any sort. If you are not consenting to the sexual activity, it is abuse.
If you feel you might be in a dating relationship that is abusive or violent, but you just aren’t sure, feel free to leave a comment below or chat with one of our HopeCoaches on TheHopeLine®.
And remember there is always HOPE. You are not alone. You can escape abusive relationships and heal from them. There are people who will help you and God is on your side.