I Felt Alone
I’ve been using this website for almost a year now, and honestly it’s like the little therapy I need.
No prescriptions, no one is writing down anything or judging me on what I say, I just get to speak. Living with an anxiety disorder (and one as complex as mine) you just have to learn to keep your mouth shut and keep everything bottled up inside because the second you let it out you’re labeled as “crazy” or “out of control,” it was to the point that if I cried, people worried about me.
I felt alone, pushed into a corner and hid by my family. Many things caused my anxiety disorder, and a lot of it has to do with a chemical imbalance that I just can’t simply help. I can take medicine, but it’s not guaranteed to work. All of the HopeCoaches I’ve come across on the website have seemed to be Christians, and at the time I was an atheist. I didn’t believe in God and I didn’t want to.
I Wasn’t Labeled Broken
Then I met Megan (the HopeCoach who saved my life) who asked if she could pray with me. Of course, I said yes, and while she was typing I had decided I would just look away and respond thanks. But instead of being my normal stubborn self, I took the time to read what she had written. Nothing in that prayer said “God fix her” “God she is broken.” Megan never once labeled me anything less than God’s daughter and her sister.
And I have felt an overwhelming joy in my heart ever since that day.
No Longer Hiding My Anxiety
I am now an active member in my church, my anxiety is still present, but I no longer feel the need to hide it. I have more support than I could have ever dreamed of having and it is all thanks to Megan. So Megan, if you read this, you know what you and I talked about, what I confessed to you, and you know that special prayer you wrote just for me. I love you with all of my heart, and I don’t even know you. I owe you my life.
For information on how to understand the causes of anxiety and social anxiety disorders and how to deal with them, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook.
Photo by Franciele Cunha