I Felt Alone
I’ve been using this website for almost a year now, and honestly it’s like the little therapy I need.
No prescriptions, no one is writing down anything or judging me on what I say, I just get to speak. Living with an anxiety disorder (and one as complex as mine) you just have to learn to keep your mouth shut and keep everything bottled up inside because the second you let it out you’re labeled as “crazy” or “out of control,” it was to the point that if I cried, people worried about me.
I felt alone, pushed into a corner and hid by my family. Many things caused my anxiety disorder, and a lot of it has to do with a chemical imbalance that I just can’t simply help. I can take medicine, but it’s not guaranteed to work. All of the HopeCoaches I’ve come across on the website have seemed to be Christians, and at the time I was an atheist. I didn’t believe in God and I didn’t want to.
I Wasn’t Labeled Broken
Then I met Megan (the HopeCoach who saved my life) who asked if she could pray with me. Of course, I said yes, and while she was typing I had decided I would just look away and respond thanks. But instead of being my normal stubborn self, I took the time to read what she had written. Nothing in that prayer said “God fix her” “God she is broken.” Megan never once labeled me anything less than God’s daughter and her sister.
And I have felt an overwhelming joy in my heart ever since that day.
No Longer Hiding My Anxiety
I am now an active member in my church, my anxiety is still present, but I no longer feel the need to hide it. I have more support than I could have ever dreamed of having and it is all thanks to Megan. So Megan, if you read this, you know what you and I talked about, what I confessed to you, and you know that special prayer you wrote just for me. I love you with all of my heart, and I don’t even know you. I owe you my life.
-Shelby
For information on how to understand the causes of anxiety and social anxiety disorders and how to deal with them, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook.
Photo by Franciele Cunha
Responding to someone’s comment. There’s absolutely no acting here. Anxiety disorder is real and real emotions are felt through this challenge. GOD bless all those who have anxiety and depression disorders and guide you into His overflowing peace. He loves you!
Anxiety is a dangerous and unseen danger to all but the one suffering. I know this all too well. Along with other family issues that only fuel the flame, I have found it difficult but not impossible to overcome this only on my strongest of days. As I struggle and turn to alcohol to deal with it all I’m slowly realizing and wanting Jesus to help me and take over the driving till he sees fit. I’m tired of dealing with the pain and the anguish is going to kill me. I forgive those who have caused me pain and anguish but I can’t forget and it is that which tortures me to no end. God forgive me as I try to not only forget but to forgive myself for that and those who I have wronged in my life.
I never really understood that I had anxiety until one day everything hit me that I hated my life and that I wanted to quit and start over. The only thing that kept me going was my mom and dad that I knew that I could count on. And a necklace that I found. It says ‘Hope’ on it. I wear it everyday as a signal to myself that I may never lose hope because God loves me.
I think that all of you were just acting and wanted attention from people around you. what I think you should do is be by yourself, so you don’t expect nothing from people and people don’t expect nothing from you.