Wouldn't it be awesome if you could read the mind of the person you are interested in dating? The whole guessing game could be eliminated!
Have you ever asked a similar question to those shared by Shelly and Bret?
Shelly asked: "My friend keeps saying things about how he likes me so much, and then the next day, he acts like he doesn't even see me."
And Bret shared: "There's a girl I like who flirts with me sometimes and at other times she walks right past me."
These mixed signals quickly lead to confusion. So why do people act this way?
They Like the Mind Games
Some people send mixed signals because they like to, and they're good at it. For them, it is a power and ego trip. They'll play the game with just about anybody because they're hooked on the game. You need to avoid flirt addicts because in the end, you will get an emotional pie in the face. Let's face it, you have enough drama in your life without asking for more.
It's wise to not read too much into the signals you pick up from guys or girls. Girls, you might be thinking a particular guy really likes you, when in fact, he's just being friendly. Same with guys just because she smiles at you doesn't mean she wants to go out with you.
Fear of Rejection
That being said, many times the person may actually be interested in you but is scared to put themselves out there for fear of rejection. So, they test the waters a little and then maybe pull back if they are having a hard time reading you. It can be scary to risk sharing your heart but being brave enough to have clear communication could go a long way. Without it, you will continue to imagine all kinds of crazy things are going on in your friend's head.
It could also be that he or she is simply thinking about a problem they are facing. When people are hurting, it's easy for them to become preoccupied and walk right by the people who can help them the most. Here's your opportunity to reach out and see if they are O.K.
If you continue to be confused and you really want to see if there could be more to this relationship, it's probably time to have a talk and get to the bottom of it or move on. In the end, the only way you can truly clear up the confusion is to talk about it. I would go to the person who is sending you mixed signals and try to clear up the confusion. You might not like what you hear, but at least you won't be in the dark with crazy imaginations.
What to do when your GF/BF questions your feelings for them?
Stephen asked: "What are some things I can do to show my girlfriend that I really love her. She says things like, 'Sometimes I wonder if you really love me or not.' And I do!"
It can be easy to assume the person you love knows how you feel, but it's important to be intentional in expressing your love and not take anything for granted.
5 Love Languages
Many of us receive love in different ways so knowing the "Love Language" of the person you are dating is very helpful. The five love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Receiving gifts
4. Acts of service
5. Physical touch
Not everyone communicates love in the same way, and likewise, people have different ways they receive love. Perhaps you feel most loved when your girlfriend grabs your hand or gives you a kiss and so you think when you show her Physical Touch, she must know how much you love her. However, if her love language is Quality Time and you are always busy and don't make time for her, she isn't feeling loved no matter how many times you give her a hug. Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in his book 'The 5 Love Languages:' The Secret to Love That Lasts explains this further. You and your partner could take a Love Language Quiz - Here.
9 Ideas to Communicate Affection
It's also important you don't assume that you told her you loved her three months ago, so she certainly remembers that, right? We need to continually express our love. It's not a one-and-done thing.
Here are just a few simple ideas to communicate your affection for her. Pick a couple, especially those that match her love language or ask her which of these things would be meaningful to her.
1. Spend time with her.
2. Take an interest in the details of her life.
3. Smile, make eye contact.
4. Truly listen to her.
5. Buy her gifts from time to time it doesn't matter the size or price, it truly is the thought the counts.
6. Invite her to be a part of events with your other friends and family.
7. Surprise her with a special date night.
8. Help her with some of the everyday chores she faces (wash her car, etc.).
9. Be more open about how you feel. she wants to know what's going on in your head and heart.
Insecurity Breeds Doubt
It could also be that she is insecure in herself and feels you are too good for her and will soon move on to someone else. Clearly you chose her and that should be enough, but insecurities aren't always rational. She is going to have to work her insecurities out for herself, and while she does you building her up will go a long way. Communicate clearly that you aren't going anywhere and assure her she's exactly who you want.
If she's insecure, she could also be sensitive to the attention you give to other girls. So be mindful of that and show her enough respect not to flirt with anyone else. However, if she gets jealous and controlling, when you don't deserve it, that's another issue entirely.
Relationships aren't easy, especially since we can't read minds, but they are worth it. And taking the risk of sharing your heart and communicating how you feel will be worth it in the end. Don't keep them guessing!