Top Two Reasons You Should Stop Lying PLUS How Liars Get Caught

In my blog How to Stop Lying I listed eight things you can do to help break the bad habit of lying.
But I don’t just want to give you tips on how to stop lying. I want to motivate you by giving you two very important reasons WHY you should stop.

Top Two Reasons You Should Stop Lying

First of all, NOBODY wants to be friends with a liar because liars can’t be trusted, and they hurt other people with their lies…often in order to protect themselves. If you desire any REAL relationships in your life, you need to be trustworthy.

Second, liars will eventually get caught, and deservedly so. Lying is a destructive force and it will catch up to you.
In fact, I want to use the rest of this blog to help protect people from liars. Below is a list of a number of signals to watch for if you think someone may be lying. It’s not going to be completely possible to know every time someone lies, but there are definite signs that should send up a red flag.

Ericka told me about some of the pain caused by the lying of her ex-husband: I have two young children (3 & 1) and just left their father because he was addicted to gambling. I always thought that cheating would be the worst, but I soon discovered that along with gambling came lie after lie. Our relationship was never going to improve without trust. Discovering his lying earlier could possibly have saved Ericka and her children some needless pain. Would that be possible? I believe it is possible by figuring out how to know if someone is lying.

Lying is a stressful behavior, and it causes people to act differently when they lie.

We’ve all seen people take lie detector tests on TV or in the movies. It is an effective instrument, not because it can tell right from wrong, but because it can reveal when a person’s body is reacting in a stressful manner. Because lying is so wrong, it can cause stressful behavior, showing signs we can detect through body language.

It is important to learn to read body language. How does a person act in normal circumstances? Notice normal eye, hand and body movements, and facial expressions during regular conversation. Then you will better notice when the body language changes…showing the stress of lying.

One of the easiest and best ways to tell if someone is lying is by looking into their eyes. Most people who are lying have a difficult time holding eye contact with the person they’re lying to. Jenna agrees: It is hard to tell when people are lying to you. But in my case, I found that when someone is lying, they don’t give you eye contact.

8 More Signs Someone May Be Lying to You:

How to Catch a Liar:

  • A lying person may become tense and freeze up while telling the lie. Others may move their body way more than normal.
  • A lying person may appear uncomfortable fast eye blinking, scratching, itching, swallowing hard, fidgeting, etc.
  • A lying person may look up and to the right.
  • A lying person may touch their nose or cover up their face or mouth.
  • A lying person may often raise the pitch or speed of their voice.
  • A lying person may present a wide-eyed, innocent look.
  • A lying person may create noticeable pauses in the conversation as they are trying to come up with something to say that fits the lie they are creating.
  • A lying person often tells a different version of their original lie the second time around.

You’re not always going to be able to discover if a person is lying to you, but usually if it feels like a lie, it almost always is.

My desire is to help both those who lie and those who have been lied to. I care for you equally. So, it is my hope that if you are in the habit of lying you will stop and think twice. Know that your lies will ruin friendships and you will eventually get caught. And if you believe you are being lied to, trust your gut and confront the person you believe is being dishonest. It will be best for both of you in the long run.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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50 comments on “Top Two Reasons You Should Stop Lying PLUS How Liars Get Caught”

  1. I really need help, I lie like all the time. It could be big or small. Once, me and my friend cheated on a test and got in trouble after a couple of days, because the teacher found out our answers were the same. My friend's parents don't really care but mine do, so me and my friend set a new story up, saying I was innocent and my friend was copying off me, but I did not want to get her in trouble, so that's one lie. The other time, my dad starting giving me vitamins for body health. I don't want/like them but I am forced to take them. I got in the habit of getting a tissue, wrapping the vitamins up, and throwing them away. Well, my parents saw me holding a lump in my hands and asked what I was doing, and I said: " Oh, throwing my rubbish away". That's another lie. I lie all the time, for big and small things and I'm trying my best to stop, but its so hard. All my friends don't trust me now, because I lie with a very straight face, that even teachers and parents can't see through. What am I to do? Is there hope?

    1. there is hope I lied all the time with a straight face and some people believe me some didnt an there is hope u have to pray

  2. I have promised my partner on, about eleven occasions that I would not lie to him. And yet I have done so again, the thing is he knows when I am lying to him because my behaviour changes he has told me this so many times and I get better and then I dont, I have no idea why I lie to him he has always given me the freedom to do what I want, I have been chatting to an exboyfriend which I had my partners blessing I guess you could say. My ex wanted to meet up for coffee and a catch up. This would have been fine with my partner but my ex asked me not to say anything so I didn't. I don't know why l lied but my behaviour gave me away. Now I have lost my partner for an ex I dont trust. How ironic.

  3. Hi, I am really interested in this blog. I am a compulsive liar, and I don't know why I do it. I don't want to! But I do. My problem is, I really don't lie about big crazy things, I lie about the littlest and stupidest things ever! For example- the other day my boyfriend texted me- and I didn't respond for about a half an hour bcuz I was busy with our son. Instead of telling him that I was busy with our son I lied, and told him that I had just gotten home from my doctors appt (which I really did have- but I had been home for a bit by that point) I lied because I didn't want him to think that I wasn't responding to him bcuz I was doing something wrong- or something I shouldn't have been doing. So I said I just got home- I was driving with our son, so I couldn't text back. That just one example of the really stupid little lies I tell. I don't know why I do it, and I truly don't want to do it anymore!!!! Please help, what can I do to really really stop and gain his trust back! I truly love this man, and I know that if I lie one more time, big or tiny- it'll be it for us.

    1. I did something similar with my ex, she found out and we broke up. Lucky me, I now have a very forgiving girlfriend, and she helps me to stop lying.

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