My Boyfriend or Girlfriend Is Cheating: What Do I Do?

Dealing With a Cheating Girlfriend or Boyfriend

When the person you’re with has cheated, it does tremendous harm to a dating relationship. But if your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating, you don’t have to deal with this painful challenge alone. There is support, there is help. And there is hope for healing.

I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this painful reality. I hope these suggestions can help you find the support and encouragement you need to heal your heart.

Acknowledge the Truth

If your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating, it can be easy to slip into denial. It’s hard to believe something so upsetting can happen, and that someone you care about so much could be the means of such heartbreak.

Create Space for Your Healing

But acknowledging the truth of the matter is an important step to understanding your feelings, expressing those emotions, and finding the help you need. The truth will be painful, but affirming the truth is an important step in grieving a broken relationship and beginning to heal from that grief.

I know from years of helping people through relationship challenges that the days after cheating is uncovered can be complicated and confusing. You will likely feel easily overwhelmed by the variety of emotions you’re feeling.

Giving yourself space to heal can help. Making room for alone time, turning down social invitations if you feel tired or stressed, and declining to answer your partner’s calls or messages are all acceptable ways to set boundaries while you sort through the very painful emotions you feel after being cheated on. 

You will need to make important decisions about ending a relationship that has meant a lot to you. You will need time and space to think things over and allow yourself to feel your feelings. I know you want to get the pain over with, but you don’t have to rush through it or feel pressured to make a decision before you feel more confident and emotionally safe.

Nurture Yourself Spiritually

There is nothing anyone can say or do to make things better when you learn someone you love has been cheating on you. In times where nothing else can comfort you, remembering God heals broken hearts may give you a glimmer of hope on the harder days. 

I know that you can feel like you’ve lost faith when something as heartbreaking as cheating happens. You don’t have to feel great about your faith, or feel confident about your spiritual life, in order to find comfort from God and the people he has placed in your life to pray for you and encourage you.

Ask for Help

Dealing with the aftermath of cheating can be overwhelming and isolating. It may seem like your friends either don’t know what to say, or are always saying the wrong thing. And it’s natural to feel like no one understands. 

But you’re not alone. Many people have had to face the harsh reality of cheating in their relationships. And many of those people have since moved forward, found peace, and have built safe, meaningful relationships with new friends or significant others. 

You can find support after cheating in a number of places. A counselor or mentor, a faith leader, or a support group can all be good resources. It’s important that, in addition to talking to friends and family, you reach out to people who are trained to help people sort through the difficult emotions you’ll face when recovering after cheating. 

TheHopeLine is here for you, too. Reach out to a HopeCoach if you don’t know who to talk to after you’ve learned your loved one has cheated. We can help you find additional support, work through your difficult feelings, and find greater hope to heal. We are in your corner, and we will be here to help when you need us.

Do you have a feeling that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you? Want to know if it's true? Here are 15 ways to find out if you are being cheated on.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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