How Pain Covers Pain
It seems that self-harm or cutting have become as popular as drugs or alcohol as a method to cover the pain. It also seems to be destroying lives in the same way as other addictions do. Hopefully, that life is not yours. But if it is, help can be on the way. You don't have to stay stuck in the vicious cycle of self-mutilation.
What Is Cutting?
Cutting is a form of self-harm often used to handle overwhelming or negative feelings. It is a way for people to “feel” something physical when they feel numb or pained on the inside. It also gives the cutter a false sense of control since they can choose when, where, and how to cut. Cutting can lead to permanent scarring, extended bouts of depression, diminished self-esteem, and possible infection.
Does Cutting Yourself Make You Feel Better?
If you’re a cutter, you might think it’s helping you feel better about the deep emotional pain you feel. But the truth is: cutting is a counterfeit helper. It promises relief from the hurt you’re feeling, but it only ends up making the heartache even worse.
If your thumb hurts, it doesn't make sense to cut off your foot. In the same way, making yourself bleed is no way to take care of your very real emotional and spiritual needs. Cutting yourself merely covers the deeper emotional pain you're feeling. But like every other addiction, it's far too much medicine for the sickness, and will come back to haunt you.
Nonetheless, you or someone you know likely cuts for the benefits you get from it. In fact, as someone once said, for every thrill there is a chill. So, let’s not deny, with cutting there is some kind of a thrill. If cutting yourself for fun is a temptation, it's helpful to understand the toll it takes on your body and mind.
Cutting Triggers Your Body's Chemistry
The body naturally produces a chemical compound called endorphins. Endorphins are released to help the body deal with pain and stress. In fact, endorphins cause an actual high designed to cover real physical pain. And cutting causes real physical pain.
You might have heard of runners high. This is simply the release of endorphins into the bloodstream when someone puts their body through something extremely physically challenging. This high, or euphoria, is extremely addictive.
Much of the same thing happens when you cut. Your brain is flooded with endorphins, which give you a rush, and a sense of calmness and relief that makes you feel like everything is ok. Some cutters claim the high can last up to 90 minutes, but what happens when the high wears off?
Sarah S. understands this chemical dependency, after being addicted to cutting for six years. "Your body has its own pain management using hormones called endorphins. Endorphins manage physical pain, as well as emotional. When someone cuts, endorphins are released and help [cover up] the emotional and physical pain. It will make you feel better for a few minutes and then you will crash again. Eventually, your body will build a tolerance to it and you will have to cut deeper and/or more frequently and more cuts at one time to get the same effect as before."
So, in the end, cutting is rather simple to explain.
It is using self-inflicted pain to get a high, in order to self-medicate an emotional pain with a temporary feel-good. The problem is the feel-good quickly can turn to a feel bad, or worse, to an addiction.
Megan says she got addicted to the physical high of cutting as an early teen. "I started cutting in junior high because a girl who was cooler than me was doing it. I kept on doing it because it helped with my pain that I was having from school or my family, or later from my eating disorder. I'm 20 years old and I realize now that I cut for a bit of a high, but I don't have that urge to feel that high anymore."
Megan doesn't feel the urge to get the cutter's high anymore. How did she stop? One thing I know for sure, she came face to face with the consequences of cutting.
A Struggle on Many Levels
Perhaps, after reading this, you've come to the realization for the first time that you need to deal with an emotional pain you have been hiding as well as find the strength to resist the temptation to cover that pain with cutting. This might be a lot to take in. If your first reaction is a desire to put off dealing with the emotional pain, you are not alone. It's understandable that you don't want to go there. In fact, it's precisely why you've been covering it over with self-harm. But if you have come to this realization today, I encourage you to not prolong the hurt. Get it out into the open. You are strong enough to deal with it and move forward.
You can face this trial with HOPE. You are not alone. Many people do conquer their addiction to cutting. You can chat with a HopeCoach when they are available. You can reach out to our partner organization, Door of Hope. And you can turn to God for help. I know it's hard to understand why bad things have happened, but God is good and wants to rescue you. You just need to turn to him.
“Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” Psalm 94:17-19
If you lay this struggle before God and trust him to help you, He will give you the strength you need.
"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
Here are more Verses of Hope for Struggling with Self-Harm.
For more help to stop cutting yourself, read my blog on how to resist the urge to cut yourself.
it wont look good and its not you will get judied like i did. you can posibble die from cutting.
I'm currently 13 turning 14 in march, I recently starting cutting not very deep though just enough to bleed. after i switched to online school i got depressed and lazy. i stopped doing my work and i wouldn't get out of bed and this resulted in me starting to cut. i still haven't stopped and i don't think i ever will be able to stop, i think about cutting just about every second of the day it haunts me and every time someone asks why i'm wearing a hoodie i say i'm cold but i'm just trying to hide my scars. i haven't cut in a few months and my arms and thighs have healed but i know i will go back because its a rut it never changes and i don't think i want it to change because cutting gives me a calm feeling that nothing else can give me.
Jimmie, We are proud of you for reaching out to talk about the struggling you are having with cutting. We know it takes a lot of courage to speak up about our issues and you have taken the first step to recovery by doing this. Self-harm is an addiction that is hard to overcome without help. There are many factors that lead to cutting. You mention you are struggling with depression too. It's important that you also talk to someone about his too. We have a partner that has helped many that we have sent them to overcome the desire to self-harm They have recovery coaches that you can text or talk to on the phone about cutting. To find out how to text them please go to https://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/
I’m a cutter too. I don’t think I can or want to stop. I’ve been doing it since I was younger... started with hitting myself on the head or biting myself when I was really young, then to scratching when I was between 9-11, then cutting at 12, though not deep at all, barely enough to bleed and only a few times a year.
16 was when it got hard. Being bullied at school (started in grade 1 and carried to high school, though it was usually words), being bullied or forgotten at home, I started cutting more, though still not very deep.
But lately I’ve cut deeper and deeper. I don’t mind if I cut too deep. I’m not afraid anymore.
Lauren, You are hurting and in pain and we are here to listen. It's important that you understand how much you matter. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness by others and by yourself too. Loving yourself is important and overcoming the need to cut is very hard without help and resources. The need to cut deeper and deeper is dangerous. With accepting help, you are giving yourself a chance to live the life that was intended for you free of hurt, pain, and cutting. Would you contact our partner organization that specializes in self-harm today? They have recovery coaches available that will help you on the road to recovery and overcoming the need to cut.
• You can text them at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
• Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
• You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
Please give yourself a chance by texting them today. You are not alone in your struggles. We care and so do they.
I'm 12 turning 13 in October, and I've been hurt so much to the point that I'm broken. I am a loner and an introvert, people have hurt me time and time again, and now I have started cutting, and I don't care anymore. I don't want to stop, because it helps with the pain I feel. I wear long sleeves or bandage to cover it up. My 6 year old sister is the only person who knows what I am doing to myself. She actually found me a blade to cut myself with even though she didn't know what I was going to do with it.
Cassidy, Please know you are valuable and worthy! It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and admit you’re broken. We are proud of you and we want you to know you’re not alone. Overcoming the desire to cut without help is very hard to do. It’s a vicious cycle that will only get worse as you continue to cut. Please seek help from our partner organization, Door of Hope, that specializes in Self-Harm and has recovery coaches available. Please visit https://www.thehopeline.com/partners/door-of-hope-4-teens/ for more information about them and their number to text to talk to a recovery coach. Do it for yourself and your little sister.
I was once in a deep depression I believe was caused by some sexual abuse as a young teen. Out of disgust with my maturing body I fell into a binge fast cycle. I also began cutting myself, the first time I tried it I didn’t feel pain just nerves. I continued to cut for a couple years in hopes to find out why it didn’t cause pain. Every once in a while I’ll stab deep into my wrist with a needle to see if I still don’t feel it and I don’t. Can anyone tell me why my body feels pain when it’s not self inflicted? My curiosity has given me many scars and I don’t want to add any more to the collection anymore, I just want to understand what’s going on in my body and mind.
I believe I have a very similar story as you. Emotionally cold for years after teenage sexual abuse. Binge-purging that was really bad at one point, and only relapses occasionally now I'm 20. The deep depressions I face are very hard to understand in my own mind, and I feel like when I cut, seeing physical pain makes my emotional pain easier to understand. I tend to not feel like the blades "hurt", rather I see the damage, and it acts like a bandage for my tears.
I’m a cutter. I have congenital insensitivity to pain, and cannot always feel things. With a deep enough cut, there is feeling. Is this wrong. Tell me why I should stop.
i am a cutter too. i have cut a bunch and i can't seem to stop. what my friends always say is be around people who you feel comfortable with. just know i am here with you and i know what you are feeling. i have cut about an inch into my arm once, not painful but its scary and later it hurts like heck. you could get a councilor, i have one, it helps me with my cutting habit. i know i am not really good at supporting people but i am here for you and i know exactly what you're feeling.